Historical Waifus and Husbandos

[XRay]

So you know how we gamers and weebs and anime and cartoon fans in general have fictional waifus and husbandos? Do you think historians have historical waifus and husbandos? Like imagine historians debate over whether Cleopatra is better with her charm and mind control abilities or Queen Victoria is better with her massive British navy conquering like a quarter of the world.

[Ottservia]

Just go watch Fate/Stay Night or play Fate/GO if you want historical waifus. Arthur is woman in that series. 

Edited December 4, 2019 by Ottservia

[Rapier]

7 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

Just go watch Fate/Stay Night or play Fate/GO if you want historical waifus. Arthur is woman in that series. 

And every Saber character looks like her.

[Ottservia]

1 minute ago, Rapier said:

And every Saber character looks like her.

Yeah...Yeah... then there’s Mordred and Mordred is hot

[Etrurian emperor]

19 minutes ago, XRay said:

Like imagine historians debate over whether Cleopatra is better with her charm and mind control abilities or Queen Victoria is better with her massive British navy conquering like a quarter of the world.

Well...Victoria has guns and Cleopatra doesn't. 

[XRay]

11 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

Just go watch Fate/Stay Night or play Fate/GO if you want historical waifus. Arthur is woman in that series. 

But those fictional historical waifus, not real historical waifus.

1 minute ago, Etrurian emperor said:

Well...Victoria has guns and Cleopatra doesn't. 

Maybe not all historians are into guns, and they like Cleopatra because she is good at seducing people.

[Ottservia]

5 minutes ago, XRay said:

But those fictional historical waifus, not real historical waifus.

Fictional? Surely you jest my good sir

[Punished Dayni]

I think I have the real good one:

El Cid is S-Tier husbando don't @me.

[DragonFlames]

If we're talking historical waifus, would Xiaoqiao and Daqiao count?
I guess they were the waifus of the author of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, because they were apparently so beautiful that people went to war over them: Zhou Yu (Xiaoqiao's husband) was initially against going to war with Cao Cao until another guy (Zhuge Liang) was like "hey, Cao Cao wants to tap yo waifu". Then Zhou Yu went "You know what? F*** Cao Cao, and f*** surrendering to him! We're gonna burn his f***ing fleet down!" And that's what they eventually ended up doing at the battle of Chibi. Which inspired the Battle at Gronder Field in Three Houses. Change my mind.

The novel itself describes the Qiao sisters as "so beautiful, they outshone the stars and caused flowers to hide in shame". If the author of the thing wasn't into them at least a little, I don't think he would have described them as such.
And yet, for whatever reason, Dynasty Warriors' character designers decided to turn them into lolis. It's especially egregious with Xiaoqiao. Any cutscene with them and their respective husbands in it is just incredibly awkward because of that. Depending on who you are, of course.
They're still really fun to play as, though.

Uh... that went places, didn't it? My apologies for going on a bit of a tangent there.

But speaking of Romance of the Three Kingdoms: the author made up a whole new female character who is more or less directly responsible for the Three Kingdoms period to even be possible. I'm referring to Diaochan, who set a honey trap for the tyrannical Dong Zhuo (whom Cao Cao, founder of the kingdom of Wei and possible template for Edelgard, failed to kill earlier in the novel) and his mighty general Lü Bu. She got close to both of them and eventually managed to convince Lü Bu to slay his master, who up until that point, seemed nearly untouchable. So, the author went one step beyond and made up his own waifu!

Edited December 4, 2019 by DragonFlames

[XRay]

1 hour ago, Ottservia said:

Fictional? Surely you jest my good sir

Just because people can buy and pork their own Edelgard body pillow does not make Edelgard real.

[coldhand25]

Ah, history... If there was one subject I hated with all my heart in middle school, it must've been history. No matter how hard I tried, I could never remember anything I've learned, what meant I had to memorize the books sentence by sentence for exams, so I can get average grades. (expect for the tiny little part when we learned about mythology, man, I couldn't learn anything as effortlessly as mythology... strange).

To the topic, what if, say, games meet history? First thing came to my mind was Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and the Dynasty Warriors games. Now, we could argue if the games are historically accurate or not, but one thing is for certain, the characters (or at least as far as I know), are real. Or rather, were real. Say, Wang Yi (the heroic warrior, who fought by her husband's side) might very well be a historic waifu, based on, of course, her deeds. And surely there are a lot others, who could be a historic waifu or husbando, but because of the aforementioned reasons, as long as we are not talking about mythologic figures, I'm afraid I can't really name any, that I also know more about than only their names.

The idea of fighting about who is stronger is something that - in this context only - I find fun. At least it wouldn't be about: "oh yeah? but my waifu is better because she can awaken the demon sleeping in her toes and summon a holy bow that never misses it's target, so she can defeat anyone without a scratch since the bow also has infinite range, and it's enough to think about the target, you actually don't even have to know the name or the face of them, because the bow automatically defeats the enemy..........", because there are historical proof of what they did, what they had, what were they capable of. Actually, I became rather interested in a fight like this.

[XRay]

43 minutes ago, coldhand25 said:

To the topic, what if, say, games meet history? First thing came to my mind was Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and the Dynasty Warriors games. Now, we could argue if the games are historically accurate or not, but one thing is for certain, the characters (or at least as far as I know), are real. Or rather, were real. Say, Wang Yi (the heroic warrior, who fought by her husband's side) might very well be a historic waifu, based on, of course, her deeds. And surely there are a lot others, who could be a historic waifu or husbando, but because of the aforementioned reasons, as long as we are not talking about mythologic figures, I'm afraid I can't really name any, that I also know more about than only their names.

I think it is important to make a distinction between fictional historical characters and real historical characters. The fictional Wang Yuanji is my favorite Dynasty Warriors waifu, but I would not call the real Wang Yuanji anywhere close to being a favorite waifu. I do not even know what she looks like.

Edited December 4, 2019 by XRay

[Hanes]

42 minutes ago, coldhand25 said:

Ah, history... If there was one subject I hated with all my heart in middle school, it must've been history. No matter how hard I tried, I could never remember anything I've learned, what meant I had to memorize the books sentence by sentence for exams, so I can get average grades.

Man that sucks since HIstory is awesome, it shouldn't at all be about memorizing but about understanding and sadly few history professors do that excellently. There are prety cool history moments that are worth learning about tho so... maybe give it another try? "Attack of the dead men" is a cool event.

As for historical waifus and husbandos, who are the husbandos? No one has mentioned them yet so would Bismarck be one? Lol, a waifu that comes to mind could be Catherine the Great for being such a badass. Other husbandos that come to mind are Peter the Great and Frederick the great, though I am afraid they are more just well rulers than sexy men or something IDK.

[Hanes]

2 hours ago, XRay said:

Maybe not all historians are into guns, and they like Cleopatra because she is good at seducing people.

Yeah but some people aren't into thots

[XRay]

1 minute ago, This boi uses Nino said:

As for historical waifus and husbandos, who are the husbandos? No one has mentioned them yet so would Bismarck be one? Lol, a waifu that comes to mind could be Catherine the Great for being such a badass. Other husbandos that come to mind are Peter the Great and Frederick the great, though I am afraid they are more just well rulers than sexy men or something IDK.

Nina would totally dig Alexander and his best friend for benefits Hephaestion.

Genghis Khan is the most badass male historical figure in my opinion. I think the most badass would have to be Queen Victoria as she controls a quarter of the world.

[Hanes]

4 minutes ago, XRay said:

Nina would totally dig Alexander and his best friend for benefits Hephaestion.

Genghis Khan is the most badass male historical figure in my opinion. I think the most badass would have to be Queen Victoria as she controls a quarter of the world.

Well yeah, conquering the world is a huge deal but husbandos and waifus that are the most popular aren't always the strongest or more skilful, hence why a european ruler would more likely be a popular historical husbando/waifu, especially considering many people view Genghis Khan as a ruthless killer (which he was, in part) and ignore the rest of the things he did.

[XRay]

2 minutes ago, This boi uses Nino said:

especially considering many people view Genghis Khan as a ruthless killer (which he was, in part) and ignore the rest of the things he did.

Pft, those people just do not see the bigger picture. It is like accusing Edelgard of being an asshole for killing her classmates. Murdering a few people here and there is hardly a flaw in the grand scheme of things like making the world a better place.

[Hanes]

1 minute ago, XRay said:

Pft, those people just do not see the bigger picture. It is like accusing Edelgard of being an asshole for killing her classmates. Murdering a few people here and there is hardly a flaw in the grand scheme of things like making the world a better place.

well yes but actually no

[coldhand25]

29 minutes ago, This boi uses Nino said:

Man that sucks since HIstory is awesome, it shouldn't at all be about memorizing but about understanding and sadly few history professors do that excellently. There are prety cool history moments that are worth learning about tho so... maybe give it another try? "Attack of the dead men" is a cool event.

Oh yes, it sucks pretty much. Although that dead man thing does sound interesting, I'm definitely going to look it up.

30 minutes ago, This boi uses Nino said:

As for historical waifus and husbandos, who are the husbandos?

Attila the Hun, number 1 husbando, fite me irl. I mean, do I even have to say anything about it? Conquered whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and nothing was strong enough to defeat him (except nosebleeding...). Thinking about it, we learned about him I think at around class 3 in school, at the age of around 10 I think. It's definitely not something I would consider teaching to children when they are only 10 years old...

5 minutes ago, XRay said:

Pft, those people just do not see the bigger picture. It is like accusing Edelgard of being an asshole for killing her classmates. Murdering a few people here and there is hardly a flaw in the grand scheme of things like making the world a better place.

Thanks I hate it

[Flere210]

1 hour ago, This boi uses Nino said:

Man that sucks since HIstory is awesome, it shouldn't at all be about memorizing but about understanding and sadly few history professors do that excellently. There are prety cool history moments that are worth learning about tho so... maybe give it another try? "Attack of the dead men" is a cool event.

As for historical waifus and husbandos, who are the husbandos? No one has mentioned them yet so would Bismarck be one? Lol, a waifu that comes to mind could be Catherine the Great for being such a badass. Other husbandos that come to mind are Peter the Great and Frederick the great, though I am afraid they are more just well rulers than sexy men or something IDK.

Frederick the great is second best husbando just by inspiring Reinhardt von Lohengram. Wich obviously makes Yi Sun-Sin the best historical husbando for inspiring Yang Wenli.

 

[Eltosian Kadath]

How has Giacoma Casanova not come up as top tier Husbando, a man whose name became literally synonymous with womanizing thanks to his legendary charm. He was so Sylvain that people might use his name to describe Sylvain. Plus who could possibly beat the face that launched a thousand ships in the waifu department.

[Hanes]

3 minutes ago, Eltosian Kadath said:

How has Giacoma Casanova not come up as top tier Husbando, a man whose name became literally synonymous with womanizing thanks to his legendary charm. He was so Sylvain that people might use his name to describe Sylvain. Plus who could possibly beat the face that launched a thousand ships in the waifu department.

I didn't know about him  so that's why I didn't mention him, but he seems pretty interesting. 

[XRay]

1 hour ago, Eltosian Kadath said:

How has Giacoma Casanova not come up as top tier Husbando, a man whose name became literally synonymous with womanizing thanks to his legendary charm. He was so Sylvain that people might use his name to describe Sylvain. Plus who could possibly beat the face that launched a thousand ships in the waifu department.

Meh... He was somewhat impressive, but not impressive enough. Emperors, sultans, shahs, khans, etc. through out history have harems. Casanova does not have a harem.

[Etrurian emperor]

I refuse to use the word husbando but if anyone would have been it then it would probably have been Gaius Julius Caesar. Back when he was alive he was the ''husbando'' of a lot of married woman. 

[Benice]

4 hours ago, XRay said:

 I think the most badass would have to be Queen Victoria as she controls a quarter of the world.

Blimey. You my be forgetting that Queen victoria did nothing at all. She literally spent the last 40 or so years of her reign locked in her room because her husbando died. Even before that she didn't do much, her government did evrything for her,  and Victorian england wasn't a happy place to be unless you were white and rich. Two seven year old girls were hung because the stoley three pennies and a spoon. While England prospered financially and as an empire, Queen victoria didn't have a ton to do with it.