Verbal harassment advice?

[Benice]

In my school, there is a student who is constantly verbally harrassed. (You probably knew this from the title of the post)

Last year there was a student who was mocked and bullied by around 60 students, some of whom I'd consider otherwise nice people. One of the biggest things was the fact that people would make fun of the fact that he was an orphan to his face. I tried to stand up for him, but I never went to the teachers or anything and I regretted it. This year, I am afraid this kind of thing might repeat itself. The problem last year was that it became a culture to be mean to the person.  I have started to notice similar things happening again. The last straw was when he came back from a surgery. I contacted him and asked how he was doing, as well as notifying him about a project. When he asked what group he was in, one of the chief harrassers took my device and said,  "any group as long as it's not ours." The next day, he returned to school. The first thing that was said to him when he entered the class was, "can't the doctors put your tonsils back in so you can miss another few weeks of school?"  I have written emails to the principal, the counsellor and others. Thus far, nothing's changed. Evidently, I will not be getting into a fistfight with anyone, but do y'alls have advice as to how to try to get my peers to stop the harrassment? I understand I'm one of the younger members of the Forums, so maybe people with more life experience can help? Thank you for reading this message.

[eclipse]

Can you get a large group to stop?  Not by yourself.  Can you get people to listen, individually?  Maybe.  But it seriously depends on how they view you, and whether or not they'd take your words to heart.  If you have any close friends in that group, start there.

You have some, ah, nuclear options, but this may end up ostracizing yourself from the rest of the school if it backfires.

[XRay]

In addition to getting your friends to help, I recommend telling your parents and contacting the victim's parents about it immediately. Ideally, you also want your friends to tell their own parents about it. Hopefully, you are all able to come together and agree that this needs to stop. With all the parents together, they should be able to come up with a plan to best deal with the situation.

I am disappointed that school's staff does not seem to be doing much about it, but with a group of parents confronting them, they have to take this seriously.

While I do not have a kid myself, I do have a pet that I love dearly, and I would not tolerate my baby being bullied nor threatened. I would definitely appreciate being notified if my cat is in danger and be super thankful to the person who told me about it.

Edited December 6, 2019 by XRay

[Zihark11]

idk really just dont let people do that shit to you. i got bullied just like everybody else but you just gotta stand up for yourself. i beat the kid up and i never got bothered again. dont let others walk over you, its like a trend if others see one person can do it and get away with it they will follow suit.  nobody cares that your feelings got hurt, if they really cared they wouldnt have done it in the first place. 

Edited December 6, 2019 by Zihark11

[eclipse]

On 12/6/2019 at 12:32 PM, Zihark11 said:

idk really just dont let people do that shit to you. i got bullied just like everybody else but you just gotta stand up for yourself. i beat the kid up and i never got bothered again. dont let others walk over you, its like a trend if others see one person can do it and get away with it they will follow suit.  nobody cares that your feelings got hurt, if they really cared they wouldnt have done it in the first place. 

I appreciate the sentiment, but I think you misread the topic.

Nor do I advocate physical violence.

[Fates-Blade]

Couldn't you tell those bullies to stop and explain why they shouldn't do that?

Maybe you could encourage that person being bullied to stand up for themselves.

Edited December 8, 2019 by Fates-Blade

[Tediz64]

You can't help somebody who doesn't want help or thinks they need help. You sound like you have good intentions so I applaud you for that. I really do. But maybe it isn't a problem? You didn't mention whether this person asked for help, tried to get help, or expressed not wanting things to remain this way. 

I have a friend who in my opinion has a problem, but yet life carries on for him and he doesn't want to improve the areas I think are critical. It's been over 15 years and he is married and has a pretty low-key comfortable life. Not one I would be living but none the less a comfortable one. He has his hobbies to keep him occupied. The point I'm trying to make with this is, maybe your friend has skin made of steel. Some people who get bullied just let that shit roll off them like it doesn't matter and move on. If they found something in life that they cling to and helps them get thru the day, maybe you don't actually have to help. 

I mean, worst case scenario, you could make the situation worse or anger some people and the last thing we want is for it to get worse. Have you sat and talked with this person and know they want help? You could bounce ideas off each other. 

Again, I think you have good intentions so that's great. But there is a possibility of you helping making the situation worse or it being unwanted help. I know from experience that I once overstepped my bounds and lost a friend long ago as a result. Had I not intervened, maybe we'd still be friends today. In my head, the situation was worse than the reality of it and so I felt compelled to "help".

You are a good friend and I hope your friend's situation improves if nothing else comes out of this advice.

[Armchair General]

Move  to a different school?

[Benice]

Thanks for your advice evryone, and the situation has been fixed.