We Love You Regardless(Happy Birthday Severa)

[Ottservia]

Severa sighed as she looked out the inn’s fog-covered window. Dots of snow sprinkled down over a blanket of white from the dark night sky. A candle flickered from the edge of her nightstand before she turned to look at the calendar that hung on the wall. If all went well, she should reach Ylisstol by tomorrow afternoon. She sighed and flopped back on the bed. Her clear amber eyes gazed up at the dark and empty ceiling. Tomorrow really was the day, wasn’t it? But would they be celebrating her birthday? Or her birthday? It’s most likely the ladder. What the hell was she even expecting?! It’s doubtful anyone would even notice her. They’d be too focused on that other girl to pay her any mind. Why was she even going? She didn’t belong with them. They weren’t her parents. She was nothing more than a stranger to them. 

 

She turned her head to look at the ruby-encrusted ring that sparkled in the faint glow of the candlelight. Memories of their smiling faces filled her head as she shot up to sit at the edge of the bed. Perhaps, she should just not show up. What would the point be? With her there, it would just be really awkward. She should just run the other way and not look back. It’s not like anyone would miss her…

 

Severa sighed and looked outside the window once more. Why was she even still in this world? She didn’t belong here, none of them did. She should just disappear and just have everyone forget about her. It would be better that way. It’d be better if everyone just forgot. She took a moment to look at the ring again and then down to the clearly worn-out scarf around her neck. With one last sigh, she blew out the candle and went to sleep.

 

---

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEVERA!!!” A bunch of voices echoed into the seven-year old’s ears as she blew out her candles.

 

A resounding flood of cheers flooded the room as she did so. Severa closed her eyes and smiled as an indescribable feeling of warmth filled her heart. 

 

“So what’d you wish for?” She heard her sister ask. 

 

“That’s a secret” Severa giggled.

 

“Oh come on! You can tell me, right?” 

 

Severa shook her head, “Nope if I tell anyone then it won’t come true”

Morgan raised an eyebrow, “Is that really true?” She looked up at their father sitting beside her. “Is that true daddy?”

 

Their father chuckled, “It certainly is from what I’m told, though I don’t personally put much stock into superstitions”

 

Morgan tilted her head, “Supersitons?” She blinked.

 

“Superstitions,” Their father said again though this time slower so his daughter could understand, “It means believing in something that isn’t real”

 

“But wouldn’t that make it not true?” Morgan narrowed her eyes.

 

Their father froze, “Well...I…uhhhh...”

 

“Well regardless of if it’s true or not,” Their mother said as she placed a slice of cake in front of the two, “If Severa does not want to reveal what she wished for, then she doesn’t have to” She gave Severa a slice of cake and smiled down at her eldest daughter.

 

“Thanks, mommy” Severa said as she took a bite of cake.

 

“Anyway, Morgan wasn’t there something you wanted to give to your sister?” their father asked.

 

“Was there something?” She crossed her arms and closed in thought. “Oh right!” She said before rummaging around the inside of a small pouch. 

 

Severa looked over at her little sister as she pulled out a small paper bag. The little redhead hopped out of her chair and skipped towards her older sister. 

 

“Happy birthday, Sev” She said as she handed the bag over to Severa.

 

Severa’s fingers sunk into the bag as she took it from her sister. Whatever was inside, it was soft, probably some kind of clothing item. She gazed down at the package decorated with various ribbons. 

 

“Go on open it!” She looked up at Morgan who was practically vibrating with anticipation, “Come on, come on!!”

 

Severa frowned, “Fine, sheesh no need to be so impatient,” She said as she untied the red ribbons wrapped around the present. She opened the top and pulled out a long snow-white scarf. Severa blinked for a moment and looked back at her sister.

 

“So, what do you think?” She asked as she bounced in excitement, “Mommy and I spent all week working on it, oh and daddy even helped pick out the color”

 

Severa looked over to her mother who smiled back.

 

“We noticed your old one was getting a little worn so Morgan had the idea that we should all help make you a new one” 

 

Morgan nodded her head. “What are you waiting for? Put it on, already!”

 

Severa wrapped the scarf around her neck. Cozy and warm was the only way she could describe how it felt. The soft wool pressed up against her cheeks like a mother hugging her child. She ran a couple of fingers through the scarf and felt every little knot and nuance. 

 

She smiled, “Thanks Morgan, I love it” She then looked at her mom, “and you too mommy”

 

“Hey what about me?” Her father spoke up.

 

Morgan turned and frowned at her father, “You barely helped though…”

 

“I helped pick out the color didn’t I?” He said, “I’m also the one who got the cake, don’t I get some credit?!”

 

“Yeah but that’s all you did!” Morgan crossed her arms.

 

“I was busy this week, alright!” He said with a flush of red cheeks, “But I suppose you’re right” He said with a sigh of defeat.

 

Morgan puffed out her chest at her victory. “That’s right!”

 

Severa along with her mother could only laugh as Morgan shot down her father.

 

“Well regardless of how much we each contributed…” He said as he stood up and walked over to Severa. He knelt down so that they were at eye-level. 

 

He smiled and placed his hand on her head, “We all love you Severa, so happy birthday”

 

For a moment, Severa was silent as a flood of warmth cascaded through her body. For once, no one was berating her. No one gave her looks of contempt or disappointment. No one was telling her she wasn’t good enough. For once, they all simply smiled and said…

 

That they love me…

 

Severa closed her eyes and smiled, “Thanks daddy”

 

-----

Severa yawned and rubbed her eyes as she rose from her bed. She squinted to try and protect her eyes from the piercing sunlight that sliced through the window. With another yawn and a long stretch, Severa slid out of bed and slowly got dressed. 

 

“There we go,” She said as she slid her second pigtail through her hair clip. She took a moment to inspect herself and nodded, “Alright, looks great” 

 

For a moment, Severa simply stood in front of the mirror with a quizzical look. She couldn’t put her finger on it but it felt like she was forgetting something. Her mind wandered for a moment when a certain chill around her neck reminded her of what it was.

 

Where’d my scarf go?! Severa’s heart momentarily stopped as she frantically scrambled around the room in a desperate attempt to find her missing scarf. 

 

“Come on, where is it? Where is it?” She said as she tossed a flurry of pillows and sheets behind her. Her face lit up as she spotted a dirtied and frayed piece of fabric on the floor. 

 

She quickly grabbed the old and tattered scarf and pulled it close. She found it. Severa wrapped the scarf around her neck. It may have been old and worn but it still felt just as cozy and warm as the day she got it. Though it was torn in several areas and the once snow-white shine was now a dreary beige. Still, it was special to her. It’s helped keep her warm even after all these years. Though, she could stand to fix it up a bit. 

 

She shook her head. She could worry about that later. Right now, all she had to worry about was getting to Ylisstol before dark.

 

------

“Finally made it,” Severa said as she approached the capital city’s entrance. 

 

A cacophony of footsteps, shouts, and murmurs all filled the air as Severa made her way through Ylisstol’s crowded city streets. A thin sheet of snow crunched under her foot with every step. It certainly was lively today. She closed her eyes and scrunched inward as a cool breeze ruffled through her snow-white hair.

 

Why did it have to be so damn cold?! She should probably find someplace to rest. A nice warm bowl of soup didn’t sound too bad either. She took a moment to rummage inside her travel pouch and pulled out a small coin purse. She checked it’s contents and sighed. 

 

“Not much left” She muttered to herself.

 

No surprise there, mercenary work has been rather scarce as of late what with the current state of peace and colder weather. The stay at the inn nearly cleaned her out. Severa reached into her bag once more and pulled out her old tattered scarf linked to a bright white string of yarn that extended back into the bag. She knew she shouldn’t have bothered spending money on that yarn ball. The work she did on it wasn’t even good either. It wasn’t even close to the level of quality it was originally. That’s to be expected though, it was made by her mother so of course, anything she made wouldn’t measure up. She sighed again as she heard her stomach grumble. Severa looked back at her near-empty coin purse. It looked like she had just enough for some pastries and a cup of tea. That should be enough to tide her over until…

 

Severa’s body immediately went stiff as she recalled the reason that she was here. Why did she even come? They were just gonna ignore her anyway. And with her being there, it’ll just get awkward fast. Maybe she should just go hide out somewhere for the rest of the day, it’s not like anyone would notice. But where would she even go? What would she do? For a moment, she glanced back at the scarf in her other hand. 

 

“Thanks again” Severa’s entire body froze at the sudden sound of a familiar voice. “Come on you two, we have to get going”

 

Severa slowly lifted her head to see her ‘mother’ walk out of a small shop. Two short yet eerily familiar figures followed after her. 

 

“B-But mommy, I want a brownie!” The figure with long white hair said as she ran after her mother. 

 

“We just got you a cake, Severa,” Her mother said, “Don’t you think that’s enough?”

 

“Yeah but that’s not till later!”

 

Her mother sighed, “Can’t you just be a little patient?”

 

“Yeah, Sev be patient!” The younger looking redhead spoke up.

 

“B-But I thought you said I could have whatever I wanted on my birthday!” The younger Severa crossed her arms and pouted. 

 

“Severa,” Her mother said with a hard stare.

 

Severa looked to the floor, “fine...I can wait”

 

“Geez, what a brat…” Severa muttered as she watched her younger self. Was she always that whiney? She knew she was always a bit selfish but...

 

She then noticed her mother’s head begin to turn in her direction.

 

Crap! They’re coming this way!  I can’t let them see me!  Severa thought to herself as her head frantically darted around the area, Uhh…I gotta hide! Over there!

 

Severa quickly stuffed everything back in her bag and sprinted into a nearby alleyway.

--------

“That was close” Severa breathed a sigh of relief. 

She rested her back against a wall and slumped to the ground. Puffs of crystallized air formed from her lips with each passing breath. Her stomach grumbled once again causing her groan. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel the need to hide just now? The image of her younger self flashed through her mind. 

 

“Oh yeah, that’s why…” Severa whispered to herself.

 

Severa gazed up at the bright blue sky. Gods, it was like looking in a mirror. An incredibly short mirror with different clothes but still a mirror. The way she carried herself was mostly the same too. It was confident but that confident smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She only caught a glimpse but the look in her eyes was all too familiar. A look she’s seen in herself for far too long. Eyes that have seen countless faces of disappointment loom over her. Her heart froze at the thought.

 

They really were the same, weren’t they? Even down to their taste in fashion. The outfit she had was really cute as expected of her younger self. It was her after all. She has to have some level of good taste. Though one thing that did stick out was her scarf. It was a white one just like hers and in that same vein looked almost as worn as hers did. For someone who didn’t have to grow up in such a hellish future, one would think she would take better care of it. 

 

Severa quickly rummaged through her bag and pulled out the half mended scarf. She let out a deep sigh. 

 

“I guess it can’t be helped,” Severa said as she pulled out her knitting supplies. “She better be grateful to me for this…”

 

-------

Several ragged breaths squeezed from Severa’s lungs and crystallized into the air.  Her boots sunk into the crunching blanket of snow beneath her feet as she made her way up the winding path. She gazed down as the bright light of the moon sparkled across the sheet of white snow sprawled out before her. 

 

She should be almost there. She looked up and saw a small villa perched on the horizon. A million butterflies fluttered through her stomach as she grew closer. Severa’s body went stiff as she stopped in front of the door. A chorus of voices bounced around on the other side. Familiar voices that sent a wave of warmth through her heart that froze in the icy wind outside. Come on, she could do it. It was no big deal. She was just visiting family again like she used to. All she had to do was knock on the door. Gods what was wrong with her?! Her nails dug into the small wrapped bag in her hands. 

 

We love you regardless, Severa.

 

Why would we ever forget about you? You’re still our daughter and nothing is going to change that.

 

I promise, okay? So don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.

 

Severa’s stomach coiled around itself as she recalled those words. Even if those words were true, even if she knew what they meant, she still…

 

She shook her head. What the hell was she so afraid of?! She took a deep breath. All she had to do was knock on the door. Slowly, she raised her arm towards the cold and snow-covered wood. Her heart raced a million miles per second. She gave the door a few knocks and the noise inside immediately faded away. Her body nearly turned to stone at the sudden loud silence that now filled her ears. She stood there for a moment and waited for the door to open. A few more minutes passed and still, nothing happened. Severa scowled at the door. 

 

“FINE!!” She shouted as she threw her arms out in frustration, “I’m just gonna leave!! I didn’t want to be here anyway!!” She turned around and crossed her arms. It seems she was right after all…

 

Her chest tightened like a tied up ribbon as she stood there in silence. She glanced back at the door. They didn’t just leave her, did they? She turned around and knocked again. This time, however, she flinched as the door creaked and swayed ever so slightly within the wind. 

 

“It’s open…” She said as she pressed her palm against the door and pushed it open. 

 

The inside was nearly as pitch black as it was outside. The place looked empty, barren just like how it was back in the future. It was cold too as the chilling winds began to billow inside. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but something seemed off. Carefully, she took a couple steps forward. 

 

Nothing happened.

She scowled again, “Alright! Come out! I know you guys are here!” She shouted into the dark void.

 

No answer.

 

“Geez you idiots really are dedicated to this, huh” Severa sighed as she removed her boots and sword and moved further into the house. 

 

Geez was there any way she could get some light? Where was the fireplace? Any candles? Why the hell was it so damn dark?! She scrunched in her body and rubbed her arms

 

“And cold…” She muttered to herself. 

 

It really was like the future. Every day was like this. She would always come home to nothing but this familiar cold and unending darkness alone. A single tear slid down her face as she recalled those days. It was always so lonely and quiet. She hated it. Eventually, she made her way to the kitchen, and there, on the table, stood a single lit candle on top of what looked to be a small cake. The flame flickered in a circle of bright light that scared away the surrounding darkness. 

 

“Geez, what the hell is something like this doing here?!” Severa made her way over to the table. 

 

She placed the ribbon-wrapped bag on the table and looked down at the small candle flame. It may not have been much but it was warm. It was a soft and familiar warmth that put her at ease. She looked down at the cake at the base of the candle. She smiled. It was a fruit cake just like the ones she had when she was little. The thin white frosting and swirls of cream that coated the outer edge. She pulled out the chair. There were words on the cake that read:

 

“Happy Birthday Severa”

 

Without thinking, she closed her eyes.

 

I wish that everyone could see how much I’ve grown

 

With that, she blew out the candle and was swallowed by darkness. 

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEVERA!!!!” All the candles and lanterns in the room suddenly flared to life as several familiar voices exploded into the air. 

 

Severa’s heart nearly leaped from her chest at the sudden noise. A loud thud hit the air as she and the chair slammed into the ground. Severa let out a groan of pain as the world began to spin. She shook her head and looked up to see her sister’s smiling face looming over her with a fire tome in her hand.

 

“Surprised ya didn’t we?” Morgan giggled.

 

Severa’s eyes crinkled into a scowl, “You moron!! What the hell was that?!?!” She shouted as she shot to her feet and glared at her little sister. “Of course I wasn’t surprised!! Why the hell would I be surprised by something so...so...lame!”

 

“Now Severa, don’t say that” She heard her father speak as he walked into view, “Morgan put a lot of thought into this little surprise plan of ours” 

 

Severa crossed her arms and huffed, “Well obviously not enough thought because I could still hear your voices from outside”

 

“Ah but Sev, you fail to realize that was all part of the plan” Morgan puffed out her chest.

 

Severa rolled her eyes, “Yeah right, I doubt even you could predict what time I would get here, when did you set all this up anyway?”

 

“When you got into town” Her sister answered matter of factly.

 

When she got into town? But how did she...

 

Severa narrowed her eyes at Morgan, “How did you…”

 

“Oh mom told me, you really gotta get better at hiding, Sev if you don’t want anyone to see you” 

 

Severa flinched and was silent for a moment. She looked over at her mother who was trying to suppress a small giggle, “I saw you run into the alleyway while I was buying the cake, you’re not as discreet as you think you are”

 

“I…” A smear of red swept across Severa’s face, “B-But why didn’t you say anything?!”

 

Her mother smiled, “I was a little busy and besides you looked like you weren’t quite ready to see me at the moment”

 

There she goes, her mother really could read her like a book. 

 

“Plus if she did then we wouldn’t have been able to do something like this!” Morgan said, “Doing it this way was far more fun” She laughed, “You should’ve seen the look on your face when we all the room lit up” She wiped a tear from eye, “Oh it was priceless”

 

“Well, I’m glad I was able to make your day” She grumbled, “Meanwhile I’m still reeling back from the heart attack you all gave me!”

 

“But I thought you said you weren’t surprised,” Morgan said with a sly grin.

 

“Well that…I..you…” She blushed again, “You little…”

 

Gawds, she just wanted to punch that stupid smug grin right off her face.

 

“Alright, you two settle down” Their father spoke up, “We all came here to celebrate Severa’s birthday, remember?”

 

“Yeah you’re right” Morgan looked over at her older sister, “Sorry Severa, I just couldn’t help myself”

 

Severa simply scoffed, “It’s fine…” She said as she picked up the chair and moved it back into place. She looked over at the bag she placed on the table as she sat down.

 

“Hey, Sev, what’s this bag for?” Morgan asked as she pointed at the bag Severa placed at the table.

 

“I-It’s none of your business!!” She sputtered out as she grabbed the bag and held it close to guard.

 

“Sheesh, I was just curious…come on you can tell me, right?”

 

“I SAID it’s none of your business! So drop it!”

 

Her mother smiled, “Well if Severa doesn’t want to say what the bag is for then she doesn’t have to” She said as she began to cut the cake.

 

“Alright fine…” 

 

Severa scoffed as she placed the bag on the floor. Even after all this time, she hasn’t changed one bit. Severa took a moment to look around. None of them have actually. Morgan was still her rowdy little sister. Her parents still cared for her. It was just like back then when they celebrated her seventh birthday. She smiled as a familiar warmth filled her chest. A warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time and that she sorely missed.

 

Her father smiled, “Oh right, Morgan wasn’t there something yo…”

 

“C-Can I come out now?” A little girl’s voice spoke up

 

Severa looked over to see a head full of snow-white hair in small pigtails along with a pair of amber-colored eyes poke out from behind a nearby wall. Oh it’s her.

 

Their mother looked over at her daughter, “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

 

The little girl shook her head, “can’t sleep”

 

Cordelia sighed, “Alright then come on, I’ll get you some cake”

 

The younger Severa smiled, “Thanks mommy” She said as she hopped over to take a seat next to her father. 

 

She shifted her gaze over to the older version of herself, “So who’s she?” She asked, pointing at herself.

 

“Well, she’s…erm...” Her father froze as he struggled to find the right words, “She’s uh…”

 

“Just an old friend of your parents passing through” Severa answered with an almost dead tone. Her stomach twisted as she looked at her past self. It really was just like looking in a mirror. She glanced down at the ribbon-wrapped bag on the floor. “Just call me Serena”

 

Her younger self smiled, “Nice to meet you, Serena. My name is…”

 

“Severa” She finished in a cold and harsh tone. Gods, she just wanted to puke already. Looking at her younger self like this just felt so awkward. She didn’t know how else to describe it. She knew that smile. It didn’t fool her at all. It’s the same reason she couldn’t sleep. She didn’t want the day to end because she knew once it did, then she’d go straight back to being ignored. That’s how it was for herself at least.

 

Her younger self crossed her arms and pouted, “Well that was rude”

 

“Yeah, Se-I mean Serena, you don’t just cut people off like that” Morgan added as she hit her sister with a stern stare. “Especially on her birthday”

 

“Yeah!” Her younger self cut back in. “That’s right!”

 

“I was afraid of this” her mother sighed.

 

“It’ll be fine...I hope” Her father said.

 

“Whatever” Severa scoffed and stood up from her seat. 

 

Severa looked to Morgan then back to her younger self. Those cold defiant eyes and that familiar gaze. Oh, she knew that look all too well. She always hated being talked down to like that as a kid because everyone always talked down to her. Gods could this mirror just stop looking at her?! She then noticed the tattered scarf around her neck. Of course, she’d still be wearing it. She used to wear hers all the time too until it started fraying apart anyway. It was one of the few things that reminded her that she wasn’t alone.

 

Severa grabbed the ribbon-wrapped bag and stood up from her seat. 

 

“Sev…”

 

Severa took a deep breath. She could do this. She simply had to give her the present and that would be that. Gods, why did this have to feel so awkward?! A loud silence filled the room as she walked over to her younger self.

 

“Here” Severa said as she held out the present. 

 

Her younger self looked up at her and blinked.

 

“Just take it!” She said as her face began to flush a bright red, “I-It’s your birthday, isn’t it? J-Just think of it as a present or something, I don’t care”

 

The young Severa’s eyes lit up, “wow thanks!” She said as she grabbed the present, “You’re nicer than I thought, miss Serena”

 

Severa’s face only grew redder at those words, “J-Just don’t get the wrong idea, okay! I only made this for you out of obligation, got it!”

 

“It’s so pretty” Her younger self’s eyes sparkled as she gazed on the snow-white scarf, “Look, mommy, Miss Serena got me a new scarf!”

 

Her mother smiled, “I can see that”

 

“Y-You really like it?” Severa asked in disbelief.

 

Her younger self nodded, “yup, it looks even better than the one mommy made for me last year”

 

“I’m so- I-I mean it’s not like I really care” Severa crossed her arms and looked away. her cheeks flushed a deeper red only matched by her mother’s hair, “I-It’s not like I made it myself or a-anything”

 

“You made this yourself?” her younger self asked as her eyes lit up yet again, “Wow so you’re even more talented than mommy is!”

 

Those words caused her heart to tremble. More talented than her own mother, yeah right! What kind of delusions were in this kid’s head? But still, it felt good to hear that and from herself of all people. Severa’s lips curved a soft smile. 

 

“So many people must admire you a lot just like mommy and daddy” She heard her younger self say. “I wish I could be that talented someday”

 

Severa looked down to see her younger self sigh. She knew that look, alright. It's the one she has made herself countless times. The look of a girl who feels she’s just never good enough. Her heart sank at the sight. Severa knelt down to meet her at eye level and patted her on the head. Her younger self looked up and their eyes met. 

 

“And you definitely will be” Severa said with a smile, “All you have to do is just keep at it and you’ll eventually get there, I guarantee it”

 

“Really?”

 

Severa nodded, “yep and I know how much easier said than done that is” Memories of all her countless failures began to bubble to the surface, “But no matter how many times you fail or how many times you try again just remember one thing…”

 

“What’s that…”

 

Severa looked around at her family’s smiling faces. Her mother, father, and even her sister. She wasn’t alone.

 

We all love you Severa

 

Those words echoed in her head as she turned to face herself again.

 

“J-Just remember that we all love you no matter what. No matter how many times you fall or how many times you mess up, we will love you regardless so…” She hesitated for a moment, “Happy Birthday, Severa” She closed her eyes and smiled.