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The League shall fall if I'm in control - A bad tactician plays Berwick Saga, Ironman mode!


Saint Rubenio
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5 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

And a potential spoiler for a later level of Berwick Saga:

  Hide contents

tumblr_pn1xfxSRDx1sxn1yr_1280.png

 

Spoiler

This is honestly the most accurate thing I have ever seen. Gorgeous. Gads, I hated that citizen request from a gameplay perspective. I was sad about sacrificing Sylvis to complete the chapter so I just left before they could spawn. I hope I didn't miss anything by doing that...

 

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahah... okay, good luck with that. Come back to the thread in 12 years and post how it went.

  I did it! Except...Well, read the above spoiler. Unless you don't want to be spoiled.

And Sylvis is no longer the deads!

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You mean, the one that's literally a sherpa? 'Cause I can't see the Haddock connection, I'm sorry. Haddock's more like, Ward on a really bad day.

Haddock is Ward on a good day.

And yes, the one that's literally a sherpa. I think his actual name was Thurkey or Tharkey or something like that? Most of the time people just called him Sherpa. Except he never broke a one-of a kind godlike weapon at his first chance.

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

To be fair, that's all the bosses. I mean, I once one-shot Camus with Matthis, killed Zephiel with Wendy, killed the final boss of The Last Promise with Logan, captured Veld in one round with Hicks... the list goes on.

Fomortiis is probably a little more difficult than Idoun and Veld, but... that's about it, and he loses to them in every other aspect.

I can confirm that Amelia at base level cannot kill him. He at least has that.

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Why... why would you get art: hope?! The only semi-worthwhile furniture is art: revival! Also, the tapestries, but those cost five livers and an eye.

I had hope that it was bad enough to make Volcens abdicate when he realized how bad his citizens were at painting.

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ergh... well, you'll get that orb Brightbow mentioned, the one that cures crippling. That's something?

Maybe Czene can fight for more than half a map now. Seriously, she's only managed to finish one map without getting crippled! ONE!! AT IT'S USUALLY BY SOMEONE WHO LEAVES HER AT ABOUT 8 HEALTH!

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Why do you keep misspelling my name? I'm not Reuben, I'm Ruben! Reuben sounds like a DeviantArt OC!

Is seint Rhoubenyio Preferable?

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

P9c3bswe o

Look everyone, my original character, Saint Reubenio! Do not steal!

My eyes see another thing I can steal Borrow without permission!

 

On 4/23/2020 at 3:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also, Sylvis is not my girlfriend. I am filthy elitist scum, that means I scoff at the whole concept of waifus. Only casuals and normies who like modern FE have waifus. My only waifu is good map design.

......

...Disregard the names of Sylvis and Paramythis's portraits. Also all the times I've thirsted over Sylvis. Also also all the times I've thirsted over basically every strong woman in every FE I've LPed. I didn't do any of that, my editor did. He's fond of putting things like that into my updates, sometimes. Thinks he's reeeeal funny.

EDIT: Ruben from the editing room here. I can confirm, I'm his editor and I did it.

Goddamnit, you idiot! Don't just type "Ruben from the editing room" in front of the sentence! Make up some sort of fake name!

EDIT: Uh... Reuben from the editing room here! Yes, I'm the one who has all the weird waifus, not Ruben. That better?

...Sigh...

you should play conquest its got great story and stronk effie.

More than one, eh? Does that make you...

Sain-t Rubenio?

image.png.e9ed4912e8e6eb4d8b240dfb930c3361.png

Quote

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban

I do believe you forgot Arina's wellbeing.

Marybelle, please just give her a raise. You have enough cash to give us the thicc dollars every second chapter.

Edited by Benice
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On 4/24/2020 at 12:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

That's what Brightbow said, anyway. I'm just glad I managed to nab it in the end.

I didn't say anything about it being random. Guess I'm gonna have to dig up Aggro Incarnate's comment on one of Deltre's videos:

Quote

Fun fact, the Ivory Mirror search tile in the lake only shows up on Turns 3~6, 10~14, and 18~22. After Turn 22 it's gone for good. Maybe it's supposed to reflect how the mirror would tumble up and down with the water waves on the lake? I have no clue.

 

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On 4/24/2020 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

What have we lost!? Everything, that's what! A good unit! A not-so-good unit! Arina's physical integrity! Three citizen requests! A whole fucking map! Elbert's character arc-- That's right! I was so excited to show that off, it's pretty amazing. Kaga gave permadeath the middle finger and actually made the arcs of two characters proceed at unison. After every one of her citizen requests, Christine would have scenes with Elbert that furthered both their characters. But fuck that! Fuck that, because I am the most incompetent person to have been shat upon this planet!

Esteban's arc as well, that archer will be scary without his help...

On 4/24/2020 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Xknrvli7 oThat's what I'd like to know. Most of us self-inserts usually don't go through as much trouble as you. Quite the contrary, actually...

Uedfz3v4 oAck! Get outta here! You're the last person I need to see right now!

He is back!

On 4/24/2020 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Vrcgeych o

I can no longer see the battle stats due to Obfuscation, but we know for a fact this is a kill. Since he's no longer in the forest, it's also going to be a more reliable kill than before. Wonderful!

Don't think that was a good idea...he is really tough to handle with just one unit. I fought him with 3 units including Clifford and he still managed to live for 3 turns...

On 4/24/2020 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Dgxu9f5x o

And off they go. That was one hell of a show, Sakhalin. Congratulations!

That was badass, too bad most players probably won't even know there was such an epic moment.

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On 4/23/2020 at 11:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, no! Not you! Not in this update, of all updates! I can see you coming from a mile away...!

Well, hello to you too Ruben. 

On 4/23/2020 at 11:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

But... he stops charging right before reaching the enemy! He stops, faces the enemy and then breaks at least four laws of physics to uppercut the enemy with the sword!

If thats the case, then he's probably doing a momentum slash. Stopping the horse and swinging the sword at the same time to transfer the forward momentum into the slash, making it far stronger in the process. 

On 4/23/2020 at 11:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You bastard, you had to resurface for that... To wish misery upon me! Butterman...! BUTTERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!

Hey its what Rhuben from the PR department pays me for. Speaking of...

On 4/23/2020 at 11:43 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Hqjscidj o

Christine, more like CRUSHtine. 

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10 more damage then necessary. Yikes!
Even by D&D rules she would now be so deep into negative hitpoints that she would be dead as a doornail.

16 hours ago, ranger016 said:

Esteban's arc as well, that archer will be scary without his help...

You mean in chapter 9? That archer is not gonna show up now. Since I did fail to recruit Esteban several times, I happen to know that.
Which is still a shame of course, because that part is hilarious.

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15 hours ago, BrightBow said:

10 more damage then necessary. Yikes!
Even by D&D rules she would now be so deep into negative hitpoints that she would be dead as a doornail.

You mean in chapter 9? That archer is not gonna show up now. Since I did fail to recruit Esteban several times, I happen to know that.
Which is still a shame of course, because that part is hilarious.

That's too bad...I wanted to see how their story changes. Should have guessed, we can't have different outcome for every event especially the minor characters.

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Part 15 - Unlikely friends.

:Knoll::

Spoiler
On 4/24/2020 at 3:31 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

So uh.... yeah... I feel really behind on this LP, sorry about that Ruben.

Why does everyone always apologize to me when they fail to keep up with my LPs? I'm not out to force people to stay! Stay so long as you enjoy it, that's really it.

Buuuut atleast I will do something, you asked all the way back in part 3 or 4 about which hack it was that I was thinking about that had Berwick Saga music. That happens to be the FE hack "Justice & Pride" and it has Knight's pride, here's the original and the GBA MIDI transcription.

Justice & Pride, yeah. I happened to find it recently, and I was surprised to hear Knight's Pride in there.


Original

  Reveal hidden contents

 

GBA MIDI

  Reveal hidden contents

 

The port's... decent. Could be worse, but it could be better

I probably won't respond to any of th eold replies, but I may tune in from time to time.

Please, do, if you want.

 

On 4/24/2020 at 4:31 AM, BrightBow said:

You must have gotten it during the second period.

Okay, then. Go ahead, prove me wrong in every way. You bully.

Yeah, but Faye isn't Dean. She isn't even Kramer. She is basically Izerna with a sword.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, you've gone too far now. At least Faye doesn't have 3 move!

I would have loved to be wrong here. Besides all the stuff we are gonna miss, I was also looking forward towards making jokes about how Ward only knows Christine as the "blue haired girl who hangs out with Elbert". I guess now I can only make jokes about Ward only knowing Christine as the "blue haired girl who hung out with Elbert".

Please... stop it... why must you... torture me so...!?

I did actually check the math beforehand. Shamshir is rank 12. Boss is level 10. Makes for a 10% chance of failure. Would have been great if I had been wrong, but if I was, I would still be right in like 9 times as many alternate realities.

Bleh... Why must you be a genius?

Well... First death and this one can't even be blamed on Volcens.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT IS THE WORST PART ABOUT IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Who would've thought that Lebough would turn out to be the real bastard...!

Ward, sometimes it can be good to be inpatient.
For example instead of patiently tumbling through the forest so that a rich duke can dress himself in the fur of rare animals,  you could have used the time to instead protect your daughter from mortal peril. Or at least comfort her during her final moments, so she wouldn't have to spend her final moments all alone bleeding out in the dirt. Heck, Rodin did actually save Teresa. Imagine he would have spend that time chatting with some random guy he meet. Then the corpses of two daughters would now be decomposing around this lake.

Thanks for giving me depression. I really needed that, y'know?

Man, if any more maiden blood is shed in this area, it's probably enough to wake up a dark dragon or something.

That would be IntSys's Berwick Saga. Worse Berwick Saga, to be precise.

Well, I can most certainly do without that guy fondling Christine and commenting about her "child-birthing hips". But that's just me.
I suppose that's the one bright side of this whole mess.

Hahahahahahah... c'mon, I was so looking forward to watching everyone's reactions to that. At least I got yours.

Sakhalin is quite lucky. Being the only one who has events that give him a chance to be more but just a suicidal imbecile.

Yeah, especially the one with Leticia. Damn, guy was on fire there.

Would have been great if the goddess had blessed Faye with something else besides courage. I don't see her going Éowyn on that Ringwraith any time soon.

I can only hope I can make you eat those words a few months from now.

Oh wow.

Right? Even you didn't see this coming, and you know everything! Everything!

...Well, actually, while I was searching for a Merlinus portrait in my TRS LP, I came across this.

On 3/28/2019 at 11:52 PM, BrightBow said:

And I didn't know Ahab had a special death quote. That's pretty damn awesome.

Turns out this is like decapitation edits in my LPs: you're only allowed to not know something once per LP.

...incidentally, the Merlinus portrait happened to be in the same update as this.

On 4/4/2019 at 6:29 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
G6bwpi5h o
 
C5fzpi5l o

F4aswdy8 o Oh man.

 

Eugkjbjm o
 
Oonwwohe o

 

 

 

Xntledym o

F4aswdy8 o ...

A warrior of Appolonia singing a requiem for her bow sister.

Probably so. She's just so awesome...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
This is really not a good idea.

Hey, I actually had it all planned for once! See? I easily fled with Reese!

I'm not sure I can subscribe to him being the best with daggers. His growth is complete garbage. Few characters even have a weapon growth this low. And it's not like his base is any better.

Well, he does the most damage with them, but it's true that his accuracy is subpar.

Good thing he wasn't crippled, at least.

Yeah...

Imagine you are such a piece of shit that someone compares Volcens favorably to you.

Imagine you are such a piece of shit that you have a hand in Volcens's existence, and you still manage to be worse than him.

...
...
...
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Dammit Kaga, can you stop with this David Cage bullshit for just a few scenes?

At least Kaga's games are good. And his stories. And... I really do not like David Cage's crap.

Sakhalin be like:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Bwahahahahahahah... actually, he was even more effective than that. He only had to kick one ass for the Lord, before all the remaining asses removed themselves from the premises out of fear.

 

On 4/24/2020 at 6:19 AM, eclipse said:

Dark, angsty guy with the pure-hearted maiden?  Totally haven't seen that trope before.  Nope, not at all.

Good thing it's not what we're going for, right? Instead, we're going for Literally Female Ike and the Hooded Black Knight.

 

On 4/24/2020 at 10:01 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Lilina.png

I made far worse blunders in that LP! How is it that this is the one everyone remembers!?

Chaos still reigns when you take the reins.

Yes, exactly.

Mine ran out right before my father began working from home due to COVID-19, so I didn't bother renewing, because I knew the internet here's gonna be lousy while that's going. So I see where you're coming from.

I use the same internet cable as I do when I'm using my computer! The exact same cable, same location, same everything! And yet the internet works well on my computer, but fails constantly on the switch!

I'm just unfortunate enough that when I do pull it off online, it results in the opponent disconnecting. Which means no video for the match. Not that I've done it more than 3 times. It's the strangest mood whiplash, because I go from laughing like a madman at the knowledge they most likely disconnected deliberately, to regret that I don't have a video of one of the strangest counterplays I've ever invented, to laughing like a madman when I think about someone rage-quitting over it.

Hahahahah... what a guilty pleasure, making people ragequit.

There's a creek that runs through on my grandparent's property (that said unless it's been raining it's kind of cut off at either end). Depending on how much sediment comes loose from the banks, it can become rather murky. Makes for an interesting private spot for canoeing and occasionally swimming. Only problem is, people sure as hell love trying to sneak in. The other day my brother copped a moron who tried to argue that he couldn't own a creek, which is patently untrue here.

Oh my God you've got a river. Why are you so interesting, man?

Only now? When I start the puns about piers and ports?

When you start punning literally everything, it's time to restrain you, lest the entire universe falls prey to your antics.

When you realize the plot twist. The Organization of the Severely Sick is made up of the mentally ill, as opposed to be dedicated to dealing with them.

Well, at least you'll feel right at home there.

Kind of makes you want to jump off a Cliff.

Nngh...

I see you're aware of the plot twist I implied.

Indeed!

Also I seem to remember Arran killing Medeus, and Marcus killing Murdock.

Ah, yes, how could I forget FE12!Arran killing Medeus? That was one of my proudest ones! Also, Marcus killing Murdock was basically the culmination of the absurdity that was my FE6 run.

Also while checking I was right on that last one I came across Pengauis' first post in your LP's.

Hah! I seem to remember that being someone else, actually. How curious.

and your discernibly different reaction

Hahahah! How... civil.

How times have changed.

Now it's something more akin to this:

Zwvfgzns o

While Ike may be one of four characters I have in Elite Smash, I'll note that he loses to Faye on grounds I cannot pun his name as easily. Every other time I look at a word which contains or sounds lIke his name, I end up realizing it's a slur against a minority (or bIke, which is ironically used as a slur against promiscous women). Which is ironic given the character is literally the epitome of tolerance of other cultures, and hardly the type to go for the Third RIke approach (hopefully neither of our heads wind up on a pIke for that). I guess there's "NIKe," but then I'd get sued for copyright. Point is I keep strIkeing out every time I try and I don't know why.

Well--

strIkeing

...well played. Very well played. That whole paragraph, all for that.

Oh boy. Some of the fights in Soul Calibur just happen to take place on this raft that's floating around whichever body of water. Mostly because the game has a ring out mechanic and by being a raft instead of a conventional platform it means there's no walls for a player to get into an advantage state, It doesn't make a ton of sense for a raft to be randomly floating around a castle moat with two people having a sword fight on board... but here we are.

But... Axel and his fellow pirate weren't fighting on a raft, they were fighting on literal ports in the middle of the lake!

I was literally fishing for an excuse to link to a thing my brother showed me. Relating to Trampoline Venues. Whatever that may entail. https://www.pedestrian.tv/coronavirus/trampoline-venue-scott-morrison-memes/
I don't know what the hell it means either. But I find the quote way funnier than I should. That said, a look at the statistics shows that ceasing congregation at trampoline venues is a surefire way to stop COVID-19.

Uh... I cannot say I get it.

They're getting you confused with a sandwich again. r83HsF9.png?2

Yes, because we look so similar, that sandwich and I, don't we?

I'm really going to miss the Elbert one. Especially if it costs the advancement of his provoke ability.

Well, I'll see what I can do, in lieu of an actual arc.

Asking for mercy after mocking Christine's death? This guy just won the Berwick edition of the Darwin Awards.

More or less, yes.

To be fair I can related. My blind dog's diabetes first made itself known after he got into a bag of pretzels. I'll never forgive pretzels either.... even if you know, genetic diabetes and completely coincidental.

Damned Pretzel! He's the greatest villain of our generation! Not sure how many of the current readers were around during FE12, but even those of you who haven't witnessed that man's idiocy first-hand must know that my hatred is eternal!

Star Spangled Suicide Squad, Berwick Edition.

More or less, yes.

Well, I'm just glad that he reserves this kind of slap for the enemy. (I'm going to hell)

Aaaaargh! That is... good. Claps.

You could send her the old Frollo Valentine card I made. Which I still haven't used. Go figure.

No, I'd rather not get shot, thanks.

Well, I don't even have an original pun for this unfortunate situation. An unfortunate Czened off to be sure.

Urghhhh...

What is this, Bizarro world? A priest saying "Hellfire" before stopping men forcing themselves on a woman?

Believe me, the irony did not escape me. I was just too busy marveling at the guy's badassery to acknowledge it.

 

On 4/24/2020 at 10:14 PM, Hawkwing said:

So out of sheer curiosity, I googled the names of both this and your previous lets play titles to see if anything else popped up, and long story short, found these:

qj888jiuiav21.png?width=915&height=671

Ahahahahahahahah! Oh, man... now we just need mint-flavored McFlurry.

jtab4uW3TpR2VR8x3j9jv4LImtqwKdLFmXxA3dq1

I've seen this one before. It's pretty hilarious.

And a potential spoiler for a later level of Berwick Saga:

  Reveal hidden contents

tumblr_pn1xfxSRDx1sxn1yr_1280.png

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah...

Aaaahhhh... you in particular are going to love that one.

I've seen you use that phrase elsewhere before. Is it a reference to something, out of curi-

...Well, then. I wasn't expecting to read that today, but okay.

That was my reaction, yes.

Though considering how "essential" businesses sounds good on paper, but a good letter can get anything to be considered one in practice, which ends up doing jack shit at preventing the spread of the virus, I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised at the wording of politicians. At least this is better than the governor of my state causing confusion over whether or not you can buy or sell fruit and vegetable plants and seeds while marijuana can be purchased without question.

Normally, I don't give a crap about what politicians pull out of their ass, but mistakes like these just lead to the spreading of the disease and potential deaths. I'll just be glad when this whole things is over.

This may sound rather tone-deaf, but I think this is the first time I've seen you swear. You've wished bloody death on people a thousand times, but I'm fairly certain I haven't seen you type the word "shit" before. That's how you know this is serious business.

It would certainly bring his character up a few notches, and might even be a better explain of why we're loosing.

Hahahahah... well, I'm afraid they're going in... a slightly different direction.

FACEPALM. Level: Treasure Planet | Treasure planet, Disney ...

Fasteriskck you.

I know these are replies to different things, but they work so well together...

But... we might get Berwicks version of Tom?!?!

Ahhh... maybe. Who knows. I sure don't! Eheheheh...

Speaking of which, does this game have tanks?

Sadly, no, it does not have tanks. It does have something even more hilarious than a tank, though. More on that in this very update.

I mean "forum ninja" in the sense that I only appear when I have something to say, write precisely in the topics I want, and then vanish until something interesting appears again.

Which somehow happens to include all of my LP updates. Well, I am officially flattered.

Depends on the game and what mood I'm in. Sometimes I can read an in-game book no sweat, while other times I try to skim it and hope I get another chance to review it later because I just want to get back to the gameplay.

That's kinda me, as well. My problem is often lore books and notes, though. If it's something like "this character's note to that character" I'll read it fine, but if it's more like "the story of this country from the game", I just can't be bothered. Dunno why.

One could argue that Peri was an attempt to recapture what made Henry so great while failing to realize why he became so popular in the first place. Like most of Fates attempts to ride on Awakenings coattails.

I guess that means Kaga didn't do that first. Thankfully...

Also, what do you mean by "No, wait..."?

I mean that Kaga isn't innocent when it comes to the incest tropes. He never did anything quite so egregious as Camilla, but... well, we'll see.

I very much agree. I'm glad my parents raised me that way; It instilled the habit of researching a product before buying it.

It's definitely a good habit to have. It would've saved me from Three Houses!

Strange that I've only seen one game put a twist on the genre where the player is the attacker in a tower defense game, and that was a web game called "Villainous".

I do believe you may've mentioned it before.

Really? I guess I was curious about her actual name that I forgot to look at what you put.

I can understand that. It's not a name that you can just laugh off.

I have no idea why you want her to break your bones.

Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Yes! I should've expected no less from you, my dear, oblivious, bloodthirsty cinnamon roll!

A shame, but considering this level has around 7 different outcomes, I can see the difficulty in writing around such minor characters.

They do get good moments in this map, at least. Especially Sakhalin. What an absolute monster.

Considering that attack is one of my favorite moves in Super Smash Bros, I don't blame Clifford in the slightest for trying to replicate it.

The sword uppercut? I know Marth kinda has it, but he also jumps while doing it. Clifford probably doesn't try jumping because he'd pass out, though. Can't jump very well while carrying all that booze inside you.

Gaiden Kaga: Mwahahahahahaha! I'll make the biggest a-hole of the game not only dead before the game begins, but be was the king of the "heroic" nation!

Berwick Kaga: Hold my milk

Berwick Kaga not only did exactly what Gaiden Kaga did, he also made the current monarch almost as much of a piece of crap! Amazing!

Considering how much I hate reinforcements in general, I'll take anything that would make them less of a pain, not more of one.

Well, I can see where you're coming from.

The paradox of Kagasaga: Archers rock but they suck at actual archery.

It's really sad, when you think about it. FE archers almost always have good accuracy and fire their bows correctly, and yet, the likes of Raquel, Holmes, Leonie, Sylvis, a half-archer we'll meet today, Vestaria's Dune... just completely kick their asses. Heck, Sherlock has as much of an unfortunate start as all the scrubs from FE, but he has the potential to become motherfriggin' Rutger. Eh, as a unit, not a character.

I was referring to Echoes. Y'know, the game that I've said before has my favorite (3D) animation of all the Fire Emblem games?

I don't know why I didn't see that. Yeah, Echoes was rather nice on the eyes, tiny 3DS screen aside.

Awesome.

I think the Black Knight may have Chaos beat in terms of design, but in animation quality there's no contest.

They're tied... all that remains is to see who wins in the story and confrontation departments.

I can skim over the swearing,

Right, I fuckin' figured.

you provide a different perspective on characters, story, and mechanics,

The bad perspective.

the pendulum of your luck is a wonder to see,

Never forget, blessed Matthis, invincible Lot, Marcus (just... Marcus), rock solid Norton, Tom (again, just Tom!), fucking Ward growing better than everyone else... the list goes on and on!

it's encouragement to truck through ironman runs of my own,

I can only hope this encourages you to just plain try Berwick Saga!

Fire Emblem isn't a series where walkthroughs are all that useful (though advice most certainly is, for the most part),

Yes, I agree. Too many variables at play.

and I'm learning about a game I've never played before.

That's part of why I've avoided the more mainstream titles. Heck, the least obscure game I've played so far is FE6. The other part is that I don't like the more mainstream titles. Because I am filthy elitist scum.

In all seriousness, though, I always do love to watch the reactions of those who do not know about the game.

The gore is a neat gimmick that I hope Fire Emblem steals adopts someday.

Hahahahahah... why, thank you! I can't even remember what started it. A simple attempt to fight off boredom, I think. That was how it all got started, really. FE12 was an outlet for me to get my mind off the fact that I'd be going to college in a month.

Then I dropped out three months later. Hah, oh well... Can't say I regret it. Could never imagine dedicating my life to economics...

Anyway, it's fun to make the gore. As... twisted as that may sound. Although, I will say, I don't think I've ever produced something as spine-chilling as Christine's edit. Like, Jesus it may just be me but looking at it gives me legit shudders. I made that wound look waaaay too real by accident...

Meanwhile, I'd snap my back if I tried to jump on one. At least they're still fun to watch.

I'm sorry...

Well, I suppose I was wrong.

I'll go prepare for a Saint Rubenio rant update now.

A riveting plottwist: I actually managed to not be completely predictable and stopped ranting around 1/3rd into the update. Unbelievable, isn't it?

Also, I have an idea for a meme, but I'd be mean-spirited if I made it now.

Please, do. I guarantee you it cannot be as mean-spirited as anything Butterman would do.

0Y7rYK.gif

That's bigger than I intended it to be...

Yes, that is the word: shit.

Also, I'm surprised that the last time I made a gif was back in October, which I never ended up sharing for some reason:

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91GRO4.gif

The context without actually giving the context: Why you should be cautious about giving a warp staff to someone who hasn't used magic in years.

Hah! How interesting.

At least this update has some pretty badass lines from Elbert.

There's something, at least.

I don't get the impression that he'll be playable, but he seems like a fun reoccurring side character.

Congratulations, you are a genius: he does show up again. How or when, I won't say, but you are right.

You'll just kill every last one of them, I take it?

Funnily enough, I don't even kill when I say "I'll just kill". I was jeiganing for Czene. Ruben from the LPing room had a brain fart.

...how many rooms do I have at this point?

I've taken machining classes. Those things can and will kill you quickly and messily if you're not careful.

Still not quite similar to a clean sword slash from the rump up.

Imhullu...

 And Starlight.

There have been a lot of Imhullu and Starlights, haven't there...

Or those two swords. Maybe Kaga and IS were both interested at another go of the idea.

There have been like a thousand goes at it. It's in FE4, in FE5, in TRS, in BWS, in VS, in FE9, in FE10...

Seems like Clifford went to the "spin your lance to crit" school of thought.

But because he's drunk, he does it backwards. It all makes sense!

Hahahahahaha... man.

Part of me really wishes that Fire Emblem stopped biting off more than they can chew in the writing department, but another part of me wishes that the series had moments like these all the time.

Well, that's what I'm here for, right? If they implemented Minion Misadventures and the gore, I would be out of a job!

Wait... he uses his spear properly when critting, but his normal attack he spins with it...

...That is one heck of a subversion.

It's as I said, he's drunk.

Dang! So what's the best strategy for dealing with assassins, then?

You pray. They're frail enough that most (serious) attacks can kill them in one-shot. So you do that, and pray it connects. Which it didn't, in this case.

I was waiting to see what unique arrows the game would have, and I don't think I'll be disappointed.

And there are more to come!

I have to agree, that is an awesome line

I think I might steal that sometime, actually.

Go right ahead.

...So... uh... does the world of Berwick Saga have demon possession? I want to know if she's just talking about his personality or something worse.

What you're telling me is that you're expecting him to be Garon. Raise your expectations, please. This is Berwick Saga!

52awezex o Whelp. There goes my epic confrontation with the protagonist so I can show them my awesome invincibility. I'll be going home now. Call me when I can do something badass in the plot again.

Chaos is a Tsundere. They pretend not to like Faye, but they're secretely waiting for her to show up so they've got someone to talk to that isn't wearing a garbage bag.

So did I!

So did EVERYONE!

I agree heavily with what this scene did for Sakhalin.

Come to think about it, he... did exactly what my self-insert did in TRS with the Slaver.

Kaga Did It First! That man's always one step ahead, it's amazing!

Also, while a bit random, I was listening this the first time I saw the scene as well as while writing the reply, and I have to say, I can't get it out of my head that this is Sakhalin's theme now.

Uncle Wolfgang, nooooooooo!

(Was in the mood to play an adventure game, and realized I started but hadn't finished Gabriel Knight a few years ago. Guess you can add another game to the list)

I never played Gabriel Knight, but I did read a LP once. Cool story, real cool. Wolfgang was so badass for a character that only appeared like five minutes (if I recall correctly).

Also, the game literally murders you if you skip too much text at a certain point. That amazes me so much.

 

On 4/24/2020 at 10:44 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

I thought Peri was just Fire Emblem Harley Quinn. I mean new 52 era Harley Quinn with the two-tone hair, odd complexion, and doubly screwy personality to make up for the fact they tried to lean away from the one thing she was known for. Namely being the Joker's gun moll. Which is ironic given her actual first appearance in the comics she breaks out of Arkham after having apparently been left there since her initial capture now that she wasn't his "seduced employee that serves as a get out of jail free card because someone on the inside with security clearance", and then he ends up trying to kill her multiple times. And yet she still falls for an insincere apology during her revenge attempt. Pretty much text-book abusive relationship.

That's what I've heard about them, yeah. That, and some mad lads out there consider them relationship goals...

For me, it's not incredibly bad. I've found locally (ie the area I'm allowed to travel in without permits), there's been less than 50 cases total. Which is to say... I'm probably not in much danger. That said, the fact my brother's pups (the first of which was bought to keep the  blind dog company after the older dog died, and the second of which was bought to help the other one work off energy so he wasn't constantly trying to play with the blind dog, who is pretty much 14 at this point) were on the trampoline. Resulting in a photo of them with the quote attached. Which lead to me questioning what the hell that meant. I'm still not honestly sure, but I know I like quoting it.

Still not as bad as anything my favorite Spanish president Mariano Rajoy has said. Like, get this. These are literal (translated as best I could) quotes from him, I'm not even joking:

"It's the neighbor that elects the mayor, and it's the mayor who wants the neighbors to be the mayor."

"The worse, the better for everyone, and the worse for everyone the better, the better for me, yours, political benefit." (No, I'm serious, I pinky swear, this is something he said during his term)

"A plate is a plate, and a glass is a glass."

"Do you think before speaking, or speak after thinking?"

"Spain is a great nation, and the spaniards are very spanish and much spanish!"

"We're feelings and we have human beings."

"All that we have done, which you haven't done, is... d-deceive the people..." (Rajoy is the most honest politician by accident)

"This isn't like the water that falls from the sky for no discernible reason."

"We have to make machines that allow us to continue making machines because what the machine will never do is make other machines by itself."

"End of quote" (he was reading some declarations by a political rival of his and he read "end of quote" out loud every. Single. Time)

"It's very difficult todo eso" (Speaking to David Cameron)

"Something truly remarkable has happened to me; I wrote it here, and I can't understand my handwriting"

"I like Catalonia, I like its people, [...] they do things"

"I want to deliver a message of hope to the spaniards: ETA is a great nation!" (ETA was, in simple terms, Spain's lite version of ISIS)

 

And these aren't even all the lines he has. That man was an absolute joke. A glorious, glorious joke. I miss him so much. Politics haven't been any fun since he left the scene...

Incidentally, the absolute badass was caught recently skipping the quarantine like it's nothing to go on walks. How can one person be this (ironically) amazing?

The whole virus is just a pain to be honest. I'm just wondering how easy it'll be to vaccinate against, given from a historic perspective, we've never actually had a vaccine against a coronavirus. Mind, given the typical coronavirus is going to cause something like viral bronchitis (the ironically named human coronavirus, which at the time was the only one known to affect humans), there's never been motivation to. And necessity is the mother of invention.

I can only hope we will make it past the aftermath unscathed. That one could be rough, perhaps even rougher than the current situation...

 

On 4/25/2020 at 12:09 AM, Benice said:
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This is honestly the most accurate thing I have ever seen. Gorgeous. Gads, I hated that citizen request from a gameplay perspective. I was sad about sacrificing Sylvis to complete the chapter so I just left before they could spawn. I hope I didn't miss anything by doing that...

You've missed... some things, actually. Some of my favorite scenes in the entire game, in fact, if you can believe it. Good thing I'll (probably) show it all off.

  I did it! Except...Well, read the above spoiler. Unless you don't want to be spoiled.

Well, it's not like I can get spoiled. But you can, Hawkwing, so be careful. I've got my eye on you! Don't go opening spoiler boxes now!

And Sylvis is no longer the deads!

Yeeeyyy my waifu live-- I-I mean, my top-tier archer for whom I feel a totally platonic love lives!

Haddock is Ward on a good day.

Hwahahahahah... well, not gonna deny it. I love Haddock, one of the most entertaining characters I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

Come to think about it, Ward's relationship with Erzheimer kinda reminds me of Haddock's unlikely friendship with Calc-- urgh... uh, Cuthbert.

Of course, Haddock's real fun, but you also gotta respect how much of a good person he is, flaws and all. Like sure, he has his bad problems with alcohol and all, but then you watch him attempt to commit suicide to save Tintin's life, and well, dunno 'bout you, but I can only admire him.

I probably love these books for children too much, don't I... but it's my childhood! I am not ashamed of anything!

And yes, the one that's literally a sherpa. I think his actual name was Thurkey or Tharkey or something like that? Most of the time people just called him Sherpa. Except he never broke a one-of a kind godlike weapon at his first chance.

Tharkey sounds about right, yeah. He was a cool guy, a pretty nice one-off.

I can confirm that Amelia at base level cannot kill him. He at least has that.

I mean, Wendy at base also cannot kill Idoun. It's not really that much of an accomplishment.

I had hope that it was bad enough to make Volcens abdicate when he realized how bad his citizens were at painting.

That's a... really roundabout way to get Volcens to leave. But I'll support any plan to kick that bastard's sorry butt off of his Roswick's throne, no matter how wacky and unlikely it may be!

Maybe Czene can fight for more than half a map now. Seriously, she's only managed to finish one map without getting crippled! ONE!! AT IT'S USUALLY BY SOMEONE WHO LEAVES HER AT ABOUT 8 HEALTH!

Jeez... that is quite unlucky.

Is seint Rhoubenyio Preferable?

Seint Rhou-- why, you little...!

My eyes see another thing I can steal Borrow without permission!

No dude, it's my OC! Do not steal!

you should play conquest its got great story and stronk effie.

Meeeeeeh, too much pink, and her expression's too meek...

...Rinkah, though...

More than one, eh? Does that make you...

Sain-t Rubenio?

...

image.png.e9ed4912e8e6eb4d8b240dfb930c3361.png

......

All right, that's it. You win. You win the pun thing. Go home, everyone! Venice has won the thing!

I do believe you forgot Arina's wellbeing.

Come now... Marybelle said she'd never let that happen.

Marybelle, please just give her a raise. You have enough cash to give us the thicc dollars every second chapter.

To be honest, that's probably what actually happens. Still doesn't change the fact that Arina's gonna blame herself for Christine's death the rest of her life, and she's also lost her brother (considering he never shows up again).

 

On 4/25/2020 at 4:38 AM, BrightBow said:

I didn't say anything about it being random. Guess I'm gonna have to dig up Aggro Incarnate's comment on one of Deltre's videos:

Ah, that makes sense, I see. I am sorry for slightly miscommunicating your words.

 

20 hours ago, ranger016 said:

Esteban's arc as well, that archer will be scary without his help...

Actually, that archer does not appear if Esteban's events aren't viewed.

He is back!

That he is. Unfortunately...

Don't think that was a good idea...he is really tough to handle with just one unit. I fought him with 3 units including Clifford and he still managed to live for 3 turns...

Actually, Clifford could one-shot him after charging. I was hoping he'd do that and then I could seize with Reese. Alas...

That was badass, too bad most players probably won't even know there was such an epic moment.

Yeah...

 

18 hours ago, Pengaius said:

Well, hello to you too Ruben. 

No! Begone from here, Butterman! I have no need for your buttery words.

If thats the case, then he's probably doing a momentum slash. Stopping the horse and swinging the sword at the same time to transfer the forward momentum into the slash, making it far stronger in the process.

I guess that could be it. Either that, or he's drunk.

Hey its what Rhuben from the PR department pays me for.

I never-- I mean, he never would do that!

Speaking of...

Nooooooooooooo! Don't!

Christine, more like CRUSHtine. 

. . . c u r s e   y o u ,   P e n g a i u s   t h e   b u t t e r m a n . . . !

 

17 hours ago, BrightBow said:

10 more damage then necessary. Yikes!
Even by D&D rules she would now be so deep into negative hitpoints that she would be dead as a doornail.

Will you give it a rest!? Have I not suffered enough?! That's it, no more quoting. It's on to the update.

 

:KnollRoll::

Spoiler
P6emt2ja o

No kidding! No fucking kidding, Ledouche! Ward lost his daughter to your stupid fucking plan! Uh, his daughter he didn't seem to acknowledge...

Meoilxpy oIt all worked out in the end.

Uedfz3v4 o What!? Reese, that ain't true! Our losses were grievous! Grievous! Say it like it is, Reese!

Meoilxpy oThis has certainly been a learning experience for me.

Ysumkpy5 oRh9nwg3e o

Meoilxpy oIs this an orb of healing?

Bnes4lei oNot quite. It is called Holy, one of the few spells we clergy have for offense. To be more specific, it is designed for self-defense, as its magic cannot kill a human being.

Meoilxpy o(I should give this to Sister Izerna to use later...)

9qk5ifz8 o No, I don't think so. The good healer is right around the corner.

Meoilxpy oIs it really all right for you to give this to me?

Bnes4lei oOf course! Take it with my blessing.

Meoilxpy oThank you, Your Excellency.

Xejzcvec o

Cool, awesome! That totally does NOT make up for all we lost!

Dimnnmqb oNqg7r3sp o

The orb itself is quite cool, though. It has innate Vantage and Mercy, and it's quite accurate to boot. It's the perfect tome to keep your healers safe from assassins and the like, since they can just end most battles before they even start. It also works well as a Jeiganing tool and to set up cripplings.

Raj4ynka o

Incidentally, take a look at the battle saw. Good might? Low weight? 60% hit? No rank? What's not to love?

Hpznqrnp o

Let's get our rewards for the sidequests we managed to complete.

Sz6u2ajf o

Ps4nmuuw oIs this your mirror?

2wzfebz7 oY-Yes! It is! Thank you so, so much! Oh, I can't wait to see Cecily...!

Coowb48k o

Wait-- Tianna didn't tell him what the big deal was until now? She just left him to worry that his daughter might've gotten raped up until now?! What the hell, Tianna!?

Ps4nmuuw oThankfully, it was not nearly as serious as you had worried.

Phrbyqeh oYes, thank goodness for that. However, I must confess that I feel rather pathetic about all this... I couldn't bring myself to ask my own daughter to confide in me, despite my fears something awful had happened... What's more, she wouldn't confide in me about something so trivial!

Ps4nmuuw oShe is at a delicate age. Perhaps it cannot be helped.

Phrbyqeh oPerhaps... But I can't help but wonder...

C1o8szp9 o

Ps4nmuuw o......

Phrbyqeh o......

Ps4nmuuw oI-I suppose I ought to be going...

9qk5ifz8 oSmooth, Tianna. Real smooth.

Ackkyvid o

Ps4nmuuw oYes?

Phrbyqeh oPlease give these to Lord Reese for me.

Ps4nmuuw oThese are expensive arrows! Are you certain, Mr. Bluck?

Phrbyqeh oI have to thank you all for going out of your way to help my dear Teresa. Even if it turned out to be such a minor issue, I'm still very grateful.

Ps4nmuuw oYou're very welcome. I will pass on your gratitude to Lord Reese.

Inyhzzcs o

Oh, yes! Sniper arrows! These are the best!

K93hy4su o

I mean, need I say anything more? These little beauties will fix all of Sherlock's problems in one fell swoop. Or, they can make Sylvis even more hilarious. Your choice. I think I'll hand them over to Sherlock later. Sylvis doesn't require any aid to shoot her way straight into my heart.

4alnj6ix o

Please give us something half as good, Nieves.

6rsalor3 o

Flpyeksw oAh, Sir Ward! That's wonderful news! Thank you so very much! I hope that I didn't cause you much inconvenience on your mission...

Lgjkwhcy o Well, uh... he did suffer some, uh... familiar complications...?

3cxl4xfi oNo, it was no trouble at all. Even in this fresh state, this hide is truly splendid. I must say, I envy the duke for being able to afford such nice furs...

Lgjkwhcy oComplications that don't seem to have fazed him at all. I know he didn't have the best relationship with his daughter, but...

Flpyeksw oNever in all my years have I seen an antelope hide quite as nice as this! That Rodin truly is quite the hunter to find such a fine specimen... I will go and tan this at once. Since you have gone to such lengths to get it for me, it's yours to keep.

3cxl4xfi oBut Nieves, do you not have to craft something with it for Duke Roswick?

Wdp6ebnu o

Lgjkwhcy oThat's... not really nice of you, Roswick. You can't just demand a rush order with rare materials, stress the crap outta the craftsman, and then cancel just like that! Next time, think before you order, gramps.

3cxl4xfi oI suppose it worked out, then... I will accept it gladly.

Flpyeksw oYou certainly deserve it, Sir Ward. Helping out a total stranger like me... You're a paragon of knighthood.

3cxl4xfi oWhy, thank you, Nieves!

1valo8x2 o

That was a material, but guess what - I somehow missed the popup here, as well! Even though I completely expected it! Seriously considering that "Ruben's grandpa reflexes" title change, folks...

Cogi5gzt o

Very well, Valery. Let us do business. I have this stiff. You have dough. Let us be nice to one another, for once, hmm?

Ons14mdv oNow you speak my language, tactician.

Rjmjveex o

9qk5ifz8 o Thank you! There we go. See, you're not so bad after all.

Ons14mdv oHeh... right... You know, I've actually got a special bounty, but it's... not the kind that can be put up on the board. It concerns a certain someone in your army. I think you're the right man for the job. Noone would suspect the tactician! 10000 denarii if... an accident happens to this person during a battle. Want to hear more?

Lgjkwhcy o ...I-I... really don't think it's a good idea...

Ons14mdv oHmph, suit yourself, then. Be careful not to trip on the way out... tactician.

Uedfz3v4 o ......

Wnzomjhe o

O-Okay, let's go see Erzheimer.

2dhukzz5 o
 
Fvljpplg o

Rbclvnd4 oYou have, haven't you?! Oh, I simply must see it! Come, come!

Ou13fw9j o

I can actually refuse to give it to him. This'll come in handy in the future, but we've no use for a dark orb, so he can have it.

Zgr2pgg2 oYygoa3dn o

There you go, you obsessed bastard.

Diucrdtw o

The "scent"...? What? You mean, the scent of Fermat's pocket and hand sweat? Okay, sure, whatever you say...

Rbclvnd4 oSimply awe-inspiring! Greater than anything I'd dreamed! This will make a fine addition to my collection!

3cxl4xfi oI am glad you are satisfied. Now then, I should be going...

Lgjkwhcy o Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ward, you're forgetting something! The money, the money...!

Rbclvnd4 oAh, wait a moment, please!

3cxl4xfi oWhat is it now?

Rbclvnd4 oI have not yet repaid you! Here you are, as promised!

Awx5xwz7 o

Well, y'know what? You gotta at least respect the man for keeping his promises. He could've just as easily let Ward walk away without his payment. Of course, as soon as he remembered he would've returned, and then Erzie would've been screwed, but it's the thought that counts.

Rbclvnd4 oSir Ward, as I mentioned to you the other day, there are still many things not yet present in my collection. However, allow me to share with you my vision for the future. Clara!

Mhorkf2x o

Rbclvnd4 oShow Sir Ward here the new cabinet of the collection.

Z1vpznqw oOf course.

Muh10xh8 oOeljvvtw o

 

Egfn6hqp o16cowego oHl1ulbjb o

Well, I think you can all guess what this is. Indeed, much like the bounties, this is another sidequest that spans the entire game. These are all rare items that cannot be found in stores. We'll have to capture the right enemies, or find ones that drop them, or perhaps loot them off chests and searchable tiles. A couple of them are pretty good items, so you might not even want to give them to Erzheimer immediately. It's a fun little quest.

However, there's exactly one of these items that is much, much more difficult to obtain than the rest. You see, there is only one Albatross in the entire game, and it's hidden away in a paralogue that we may or may not get, depending on whether I can keep Kramer alive or not. Even if we do make it there, the sword is on a slippery swordmaster that does not drop it. If we get there, I'll definitely savescum that capture, because there's just no other way to get the damned thing.

Okpgdrzj o

Rbclvnd4 oFor now, the only one of these items that I own is this dark orb... However, should you come across an item that I am looking for, I would be ever so grateful to have it. I will, of course, gladly pay you for any items you collect for me.

Z1vpznqw oIf you wish to see the status of the collection, you may come and ask me at any time.

Rbclvnd4 oI know that together, we can fill this empty cabinet and finish another part of my wonderful collection!

Qg8sfnmv o

Rbclvnd4 oBut of course! You have my full confidence, Sir Ward.

3cxl4xfi o...I see. If I do find something for your new collection, I suppose I can stop by...

Rbclvnd4 oWonderful! Simply splendid! I look forward to seeing you again!

9qk5ifz8 o Hahahah... I love these two, seriously. And the best part is, this isn't merely a fetch quest for money. Every few items, we'll get special scenes featuring Erzie and Ward's wacky adventures. A couple of them are really fun, so I hope I get to show them off.

Pikndrx1 o

With all the events done, it's time to go to the merc guild again. We've got new units to go over.

Jwnpo1gp o

Like-- Gasp! It's Derrick, the miniboss from map 2-2! Egads, who could've possibly foreseen this!?

3adttwhe oSomhy8ge o

He sounds like a Navarre, but the intent here is that his armor muffles every word he says beyond comprehension. Except his price, of course. With a fee like that, you can just tell that he's a joke unit.

Tp6sauge oNjm4ldws o

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the worst unit in Berwick Saga. I also present to you the most popular unit in Berwick Saga. The japanese fanbase loves him. And no wonder - this is an absolutely hilarious unit. I mean, he literally has a generic knight portrait. How awesome is that? We're getting a legit generic to use!

With bad accuracy, 3 move and knightly movement parameters (that means no going up hills or through shallows), Derrick is incredibly cumbersome to use. He also cannot be used in primary missions, for some reason. That said, just because he's the worst unit in the game doesn't mean he's completely horrible. He's bad, but not Wendy-tier bad, far from it. Derrick has a few strengths of his own; namely, his base defense is the highest in the entire game. It'll be very difficult to get anyone to match him. In addition to that, he also uses large shields. Large shields are rarer than the other types, but their defense boosts are inmense. And even if he runs out of shields, he can always use the second of his three skills:

- Mercy can be activated on command, and it'll leave the enemy at 1 HP no matter what. Due to the way captures work in this game, units with Mercy are excellent to set them up. There are better units to do it than Derrick, but he can do it, so there's that.

- Axe Guard can only be activated without moving. Instead of a proper shield, Derrick will use whatever axe he has equipped as a shield. The axe's might becomes the defense boost, and its accuracy, the shielding rate. Definitely worse than just using a shield, but it can work okay depending on the axe.

- Throw makes him a good francisca user, funnily enough.

Overall, Derrick is a joke unit. But, he's a really kind joke unit. You aren't laughing at the developers' failure to create a good unit, but rather you're laughing with them, due to their success in creating a bad unit that manages to be lots of fun in spite of his badness. He's the most beloved unit in this game, and you can bet I'm gonna use him.

Also, story-wise, he's a legitimately great character. No, I am not insane. You'll see, oh you will see...

Before moving on to the next unit, I'd like to share this video I found long ago. See the date? That's how far back the Derrick love goes.

Hajible5 o

And there's another familiar face! You don't "have" to do anything, man. That's exactly what being a mercenary means. I offer to pay you, and you can fight for me if you want the cash. Nobody's forcing anyone to do anything.

Vnr7otde o...It'll be 850D.

9qk5ifz8 oKeep in mind that that means nearly 2000D for main missions. So far, his fee is second only to Clifford's.

Sqf8mqvk oDvmi2p1l oKv5g1nyu o

Faramir is a bit of an edgelord, but he seems to genuinely care about Faye's wellbeing, so he's not completely Navarrish. He is also an excellent unit. He has a pretty unique loadout, wielding both swords and bows. Think promoted Lyn, only he's actually good. Faramir comes with his own personal sword, which is basically a better version of Faye's cutlass. His bases are also far better than Faye's, as is his skillset:

- Fortune makes him immune to critical hits. Certified assassin killer? Don't mind if I do!

- I think we've seen Parry before? Regardless, it's basically Pavise, but it damages the weapon the unit's holding.

- Iaido is still just a worse Aim.

- Finally, a unit that can equip blades that isn't Volo!

- Ohhhh, a 5 move infantry! That's excellent, absolutely excellent.

All in all, Faramir isn't quite the powerhouse that Clifford is, but he's extremely strong in his own right. His weaknesses, however, are quite similar to Clifford's: his fee is huge, and to recruit him, you need to both recruit and promote Faye. However, Faye doesn't need to reach any WpSkill thresholds to promote. Instead, she automatically promotes when she's recruited, so you just need to raise her level and happiness and play through her paralogue. In this aspect, you can think of him as Clifford-lite.

A tidbit about Faramir: unlike Clifford, who can be hired so long as you have the cash for it, Faramir won't even show up unless you've hired Faye first. This essentially makes his fee even higher, if you're not using Faye.

Hpumaeor oOgcxtixe oJg5c0pff oHaa13wox o

Everyone, to the team-- wait, say what?

Byxynzyl o

Ohhh, I see. I've no space for more active units.

Oc1wpldz o

Sit on the bench, Izerna. This isn't permanent, anyway. You can swap your active and inactive units at any time, so if I need her, it's easy as that.

2buq5fcp o

All right, now...

Omvmpacw o

 

Njfho75l o

Let's see what this is all about.

Uwz6cgyj o

Why in the world are Ward and Reese just up and about in the dead of night?

Aa4biqu6 o

x9WnRkz.pngLord Roy, be careful! It's a trap!

Meoilxpy oWhat? ...Did you hear something, Ward?

3cxl4xfi oNo, I don't think so... you must be tired, milord. We'd better hurry back to the West House.

Meoilxpy oIndeed...

R5tiuisf o

Wow, calm down, music! She's not that epic... is she?

Dlifvshi o

Vxqntpa3 oThank goodness... Please, I beg you! My Princess is in danger!

Meoilxpy oThis is all quite sudden... Please explain it to us in detail.

Vxqntpa3 oY-Yes... of course... I'm her handmaiden, Rosalie... The Princess... Miss Aegina...

3cxl4xfi oYou're not making sense, young lady. Take a moment to catch your breath, and explain it to us slowly.

Vxqntpa3 oRight... Excuse me... Do you know the Kingdom of Riana?

Hzlylnkd o

Meoilxpy oI hear that the country is skilled in magecraft, but that the royal family was killed fighting the Empire.

Vxqntpa3 oWe've kept fighting, but we don't have any leadership anymore... A half-year ago, the capital was taken by the enemy, and many of the royal family were killed, including the king.

3cxl4xfi oThat is saddening news... My liege Margrave Bernstol was old friends with King Marius.

Lgjkwhcy oAnd yet you didn't know of his death 6 months ago? Well, I guess it's true you've been in Navaron all that time...

3cxl4xfi oMy heart goes out to the suffering people of Riana.

Meoilxpy oI feel the same. We've lost a valuable ally. However, Miss Rosalie, you say that the Princess of Riana yet lives?

Ryrsijux o

Vxqntpa3 oWe've been running for months, with the Imperials right on our tail... But the princess... She was captured!

Meoilxpy oDid her captors know she was the Princess of Riana?

Vxqntpa3 oI'm not sure... I think they were just guards, so I doubt they've figured it out yet... But sooner or later, they might find out, and then...

8qbfcohg o

Lgjkwhcy oBlistering barnacles! Ward, what the heck? That was uncalled for! She came running in the dead of night to beg for your help! How is that "abandoning" her?

Vxqntpa3 oThat isn't true! Sherpa said he would rescue her, and he said to go to Navaron and ask the knights for help!

3cxl4xfi oYou've lost me again. Who is Sherpa?

Vxqntpa3 oOh, Sherpa's a mercenary who we hired back in Rosenberg. Strong and dependable!

9qk5ifz8 o That's an understatement. We'll meet him next time, and we'll see just how "strong and dependable" he is.

3cxl4xfi oAllow me to get this straight... You and Princess Aegina, a surviving member of the House of Riana, have been on the run from the Empire. During your travels, you stopped in the city of Rosenberg and hired a mercenary named Sherpa. However, despite your caution, you were found nonetheless. This Sherpa fellow told you to come here to Navaron and seek help while he dealt with the situation. And now, you have come as ordered, and you are asking us to rescue them. Do I have that right?

Lgjkwhcy o Yes, that's... indeed what she just said. Was that truly so complicated that we needed a summary?

Meoilxpy oI believe that sums up what she's said nicely, yes. Leave everything to us, Miss.

Aih5csph o

Meoilxpy oWard, give the order. We will set out immediately.

Lgjkwhcy oBy "we", he means six soldiers that aren't either him or Ward. Good effort, Reese. Luckily enough, with Sherpa around, there's really no need for any more help.

3cxl4xfi oYes, Lord Reese. Miss, we will need you to guide us to the place where Princess Aegina was taken captive.

Vxqntpa3 oY-Yes! Leave it to me! Thank you both!

Omvmpacw o

Okay, now...

......

Halfmann!

Htswflyv o

Here, have all this junk. But hey-- there's an antitoxin, in perfect condition, just for you! Ain't that amazing.

As for the treasure...

Omucqij1 o

Here you go, Savat. You can have this.

Omvmpacw o

...Goddamnit, okay, fine! Let's go...

W06te00a o

There's no music here. Just the sounds of the ocean below.

Fhebsxwj o

Her epitaph's a bit generic, but just the fact that there's a grave we can visit is a neat gesture. Axel has got by far the most heartbreaking epitaph. I know because Aethin, the bastard, didn't warn me when he translated the epitaphs, and so it caught me completely unaware. It's just another reason to keep him safe no matter the cost.

Idxpsoyp o

After examining the grave, a person.

Wytdjihh o

5ppfqll8 oThese are the deceased's belongings. Please, take them.

Czfgacue o

Kind of them to give back the dead unit's inventory. I'm not sure why they couldn't do that automatically, though. I guess it's Kaga's way of punishing those who won't come to pay their respects to the units they led to their deaths.

Gmmcpshs oY0lvwnqx o

Time to gear up. First, I'd like to show the difference between the standard Imperial LShield and the version Derrick's carrying. Essentially, Derrick's shield trades off one point of defense in exchange for 10% more shielding rate. It's okay, but the E durability for both is not ideal.

Bhxcxgvq o

Anyway, Derrick gets the battle saw. Mostly because Axe's already hoarding all the other axels. Gotta give the good generic an edge of some sort.

Tcjaakf6 o

Faramir gets some less expensive gear, as well. Also, the bastard sword, since he's the only one who can use it.

Nlczvnoi o

Sherlock and Sylvis share Christine's former equipment.

8ou0eill oKz2w98gy o

Elbert gets the killing edge Savat gave him in chapter 2, since he can finally use it, and a steel spear for when the slim one breaks. Or, you know, before that. It's just plain better.

Tezrwqhw oQ6jqpjyf o

Lastly, let's pay the Pavilion a visit! Arina doesn't seem to be behaving any different, so I guess everything is cool...? A-Anyway, Sylvis and Arthur both get the most expensive dish. Arthur to compensate for not being hired for the main mission, and Sylvis because she earned the world when she crippled two guys in a row.

Wanpad8u oUucpijan oLxosloey o

Cool.

L1huador oRhptwmro oUru8c5ev o

Sherlock and Derrick get a hit boost.

Up7fxejw oLz5sfoar o7qkbixb6 oHlyqgkbv oMrhzieti o

Faye and Ruby get some minor, but still appreciated boosts to all their weak areas.

Yc69jiiv o

Axel-- pfffffffft... okay, no, I made sure to give him something he liked. I just found his negative reaction to be hilariously deadpan.

Aphipzmz oNttkxety o6hssbehj o

Frankly, I just wanted to give him a cheap dish that he liked for the happiness.

My4islcj oI4nzebnw oShpa4yms oTjqludnu o

Here's a fun fact: all units have generic lines that they say if they've already eaten. There's one for each gender. However...

V1c0cu9o o

Derrick, of course, gets a special line. Because he's a truly special person.

Azbmobfm oD8yxg8yf o

In any case, this is the next mission. Notice that it is primary and mandatory, unlike the previous ones. That doesn't mean Reese and Ward will be available.

This is the end. Next time, we rescue what I can only hope is our first mage, and a nepalese person. Look forward to it! Unless someone else dies. Then don't look forward to it. Anyway, with that, I say farewell to you. Bye, be well, ciao!

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban


* Unavailable

Capture count: 0

Reset count: 0

 

Current perfect streak: Nope

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

 

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47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No! Begone from here, Butterman! I have no need for your buttery words.

 

*sniff, sniiff, hic, sniffle* WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHWUHBENS BEIN MWEAN TO MWEEEEEEEEHHHH!!! Eh I'm over it. 

49 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I never-- I mean, he never would do that!

I mean, if you look in the Ruben Corporation payroll list, you'll see it right there Pengaius: PR punman, €12.50 an hour, 4x8 hrs a week. 

52 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nooooooooooooo! Don't!

Ruben: Pengaius no!

Pengaius: Pengaius yes!

53 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

. . . c u r s e   y o u ,   P e n g a i u s   t h e   b u t t e r m a n . . . !

*Pengaiius, theme fades out*

 

Hmmm, Derrick does have some pretty decent vibes, but they don't resonate correctly, y'know?

Not-Volo's vibes are pretty whack. 

No unit I can stan yet, so see ya when next I'm relevant. Ta-ta!

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46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That would be IntSys's Berwick Saga. Worse Berwick Saga, to be precise.

Well, it was a method used for the resurrection of Dark Dragons in Mystery of the Emblem, Tear Ring Saga and Vestaria Saga. In the latter's case it helps resurrecting demons too. So it's very much a Kaga thing.
 

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The orb itself is quite cool, though. It has innate Vantage and Mercy, and it's quite accurate to boot. It's the perfect tome to keep your healers safe from assassins and the like, since they can just end most battles before they even start. It also works well as a Jeiganing tool and to set up cripplings.

It's accuracy is really nifty. It might not seem that high, but the thing is that the Light Orb skill increases 4 times as fast as ordinary weapons. So practically speaking, it's super accurate. This also makes Izerna's promotion very fast to get, since all she needs is 30 Light Orb rank.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, need I say anything more? These little beauties will fix all of Sherlock's problems in one fell swoop. Or, they can make Sylvis even more hilarious. Your choice. I think I'll hand them over to Sherlock later. Sylvis doesn't require any aid to shoot her way straight into my heart.

As for me, I missed so many Overwatch shots that I made it a habit to have Sylvis always carry some of those around. Too bad those arrow batches can't be separated.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Overall, Derrick is a joke unit. But, he's a really kind joke unit. You aren't laughing at the developers' failure to create a good unit, but rather you're laughing with them, due to their success in creating a bad unit that manages to be lots of fun in spite of his badness. He's the most beloved unit in this game, and you can bet I'm gonna use him.

It's nice that here they actually seemed to have realized that a 3 move combat unit is just not gonna be all that great, durability be damned. I mean, they didn't seem to have noticed back in Tear Ring Saga.

I still wish Derrick's weapon growths weren't complete garbage, though.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ohhh, I see. I've no space for more active units.

This whole active/inactive system is so strange.
Well, I do actually kinda appreciate it for making item management easier. I always keep everyone inactive except the ones being deployed on the next mission. So I can easily go between units that currently matter and those who will be glorified storage bags for the time being.
...of course it would be even easier if the damn game just had a proper item storage in the first place.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dlifvshi o

Well, technically speaking you serve Volcens, but sure.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

8qbfcohg o

This scene is strange, with Ward being portrayed as so short tempered. Sure, Rosalie is intended to be a bit wacky, but in this scene it's really just Ward who's acting weird.
Especially if you consider that he has the patience of a saint when dealing with people like Erzheimer.
...although he is written as similarly short-tempered when meeting Saphira. So maybe he just can't stand young girls and that's why he always avoided his daughter like the plague.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

5ppfqll8 oThese are the deceased's belongings. Please, take them.

Receiving the inventory of fallen party members. That's another one of the ever growing list of things that Kaga did first, I suppose.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lastly, let's pay the Pavilion a visit! Arina doesn't seem to be behaving any different, so I guess everything is cool...?

Still, might be best to be careful that she doesn't spit in your food or something.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Here's a fun fact: all units have generic lines that they say if they've already eaten. There's one for each gender. However...

Yeah. They all say they loved the food regardless of their reaction previously. I'd imagine the characters would have been intended to react differently depending on whether or not they liked the food at least. So I guess that's just not something the devs had time to implement
...or maybe they all just don't dare to mouth off in front of their liege. Yeah, that's probably it.

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51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:


Hahahahahahah... c'mon, I was so looking forward to watching everyone's reactions to that. At least I got yours.

Can we swap that guy for Christine? I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

54 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Imagine you are such a piece of shit that you have a hand in Volcens's existence, and you still manage to be worse than him.

...
...
...
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

To be fair, that makes him indirectly responsible for everything Volcens ever has done. Which only magnifies the sin, because Volcens cannot hope to take credit for the sins of his father.

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Good thing it's not what we're going for, right? Instead, we're going for Literally Female Ike and the Hooded Black Knight.

What happens if I take an existing Lyrical version of "Unstoppable Destiny (or against the Black Knight)" and turn it into a song about Faye and Chaos? Take the whole thing so ridiculously full circle we turn into a sphere instead.

59 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I made far worse blunders in that LP! How is it that this is the one everyone remembers!?

The joke accompanying it. Very iconic. You did this to yourself with good comedy.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahahah... what a guilty pleasure, making people ragequit.

To be fair, even my friend told me if he got Ganondorf'd that hard (I.E. a 0 to death by using a down b to spike off stage) he'd probably have rage quit too.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh my God you've got a river. Why are you so interesting, man?

I guess I kind of take the creek for granted given it's.. you know, been there my whole life. Mind I haven't gotten halfway down the list of oddities concerning my life. Mind I have a friend who owns an opal mine. Mind I'm talking about an old lady that I help with walking her dog, not someone my age. No idea what the opal mine's worth though.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

When you start punning literally everything, it's time to restrain you, lest the entire universe falls prey to your antics.

I literally used to pun my ex's name. I mean, more than I'd call her it. I swear if that one wasn't the one I broke up with instead of the other way around, I'd be remarking that's probably why I'm single.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes, how could I forget FE12!Arran killing Medeus? That was one of my proudest ones! Also, Marcus killing Murdock was basically the culmination of the absurdity that was my FE6 run.

Also, I recently went back through the Tear Ring Saga LP to note the locations of all my songs in case I ever compile them. Besides getting a few images for later use, I was reminded about Macellan killing Medeus in Shadow Dragon.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

That's part of why I've avoided the more mainstream titles. Heck, the least obscure game I've played so far is FE6. The other part is that I don't like the more mainstream titles. Because I am filthy elitist scum.

In all seriousness, though, I always do love to watch the reactions of those who do not know about the game.

It does kind of make sense to focus on games with no western release. I usually find it better to play a game than to watch it. Then again, you'd probably get away with it anyway.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's what I've heard about them, yeah. That, and some mad lads out there consider them relationship goals...

Heck, then there's the Emperor Joker storyline from Superman... where he stole Mr. Myxtlplk's powers... and used those godlike powers to actually kill her. And also put Batman in a loop of being devoured by vultures, regenerating, and being devoured again. He also turned Aquaman into "Aqualung" (that is he put him in an iron lung as his idea of a joke). I just like the fact that Harley literally went straight back to him after the time he did literally kill her. I don't even have words for how screwed up that dynamic is. You know the biggest irony of it all though? Harley's original interview with the Joker was an attempt to prove her hypothesis he was faking insanity and get him sentenced to death (as shown in a Batman story by Paul Dini, the guy who created Quinn in the first place). This bastard literally corrupted a woman who was out for his demise into his toy. Definitely not a relationship goal to anyone sane... but alas, this is a world that's less than rational.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

"End of quote" (he was reading some declarations by a political rival of his and he read "end of quote" out loud every. Single. Time)

That, actually seems kind of normal compared to the others. Unnecessary, yes, but it does help separate the quotes. That said, I like the one about the water that falls from the sky. I relate to that. I too don't understand the processes of evaporation and of condensation resulting in rainfall.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Rinkah, though...

You mean the one that's got a terrible strength growth despite being the Hoshidan discount bin fighter? Someone was having a joke there. Mind, probably right up your alley if bad unit.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Venice has won the thing!

How did a city beat the readers? Do I have to make Veniceon out of them for this?

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

. . . c u r s e   y o u ,   P e n g a i u s   t h e   b u t t e r m a n . . . !

When is this going to turn into a Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog parody with "Doctor Rubeotnik" screaming "I hate that Butterman" at the end of every episode? Also giving his units prrromotions.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ons14mdv oHeh... right... You know, I've actually got a special bounty, but it's... not the kind that can be put up on the board. It concerns a certain someone in your army. I think you're the right man for the job. Noone would suspect the tactician! 10000 denarii if... an accident happens to this person during a battle. Want to hear more?

Lgjkwhcy o ...I-I... really don't think it's a good idea...

Ons14mdv oHmph, suit yourself, then. Be careful not to trip on the way out... tactician.

Uedfz3v4 o ......

Plot twist. He thinks Volo's in your army.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbclvnd4 oSir Ward, as I mentioned to you the other day, there are still many things not yet present in my collection. However, allow me to share with you my vision for the future. Clara!

If her surname's "Voyant" I'm done.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbclvnd4 oWonderful! Simply splendid! I look forward to seeing you again!

9qk5ifz8 o Hahahah... I love these two, seriously. And the best part is, this isn't merely a fetch quest for money. Every few items, we'll get special scenes featuring Erzie and Ward's wacky adventures. A couple of them are really fun, so I hope I get to show them off.

For a man with such strange... interests... he doesn't seem that bad. Wouldn't trust him near pottery, but...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

his base defense is the highest in the entire game. It'll be very difficult to get anyone to match him

Doesn't he have a 0% growth in defense to kind of counterbalance that? (yes I've seen the growth rates on the guy)

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Czfgacue o

Kind of them to give back the dead unit's inventory. I'm not sure why they couldn't do that automatically, though. I guess it's Kaga's way of punishing those who won't come to pay their respects to the units they led to their deaths.

Certainly depressing.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Tcjaakf6 o

Faramir gets some less expensive gear, as well. Also, the bastard sword, since he's the only one who can use it.

Except for an actual Bastard...

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So seeing as Valery's back and being a douchebag as usual, I decided to write that song. Remember how I said it was about a guy starting with V, and you thought it was Volcens? Oops. Not that I haven't got an idea (ok more than one) for him... but this one's seen fruition. I took that "A Crooked Man" song from Babes in Toyland that I vaguely mentioned discovering last time (or the time before last). If you look back I actually hinted at this three times, counting that. The most blatant of which was when I literally posted the most recurring line in the whole song. Maybe next time we'll get a look at Volcen's cruelty.

Spoiler

I'm not the problem. I'm never the problem. It's everyone else.

I live in a land of idiots.
I hate them each and all.
How am I supposed to make a killing,
When none of them play ball?

I never worry about morality,
And everybody who knows bitches.
But remind me now,
Which one of us is taking riches?

Oooh, what a wicked man is Valery (ah yes)
There's nobody more unscrupulous than he.
He takes your bounties, and keeps 50%,
Then on gambling habits it all gets spent.


The guild, it fills me with anger,
Imagining the money they waste.
Paying off the mercenaries,
For the bandits they go and face.
But under the table, so I won't go up a tax bracket
I'll use the guild as a protection racket.

Oooh, what a wicked man is Valery.
What a way to raise some revenue.
Using his job as a respectable front,
That Valery's an evil runt.


Oh yes I'll blackmail all the crooks,
Cook all of the guild's books,
Take a cut of all of our communal bounties.
I'll gamble funds away in a jiffy,
And if the bandits try and stiff me,
I'll put up posters for the mercenaries.
(The clock is ticking Volcens. I'm gonna win my stuff back yet)
I'll have money to gamble forever,
It thrills me to my bones.
As each reward,
Adds to my horde,
I may even win the throne.
If I can complete my plan, however convoluted,
I might even have that dullard executed.
(Hit it boys)

Oooh, what a wicked man is Valery (indescribably)
It seems he's the very embodiment of greed. (you're so quick to notice)
It's no joke that he's a truly rotten bloke.
Would rob the whole kingdom broke.

Oooh, what a wicked man is Valery (Undeniably)
He never engages in anything like honesty (Not even remotely close)
It's plain to see his avarice is grand.
Because Valery is a wicked man.

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4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You've missed... some things, actually. Some of my favorite scenes in the entire game, in fact, if you can believe it. Good thing I'll (probably) show it all off.

Spoiler

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Time to redo everything up to ch. 7's main mission...For the third time...

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hwahahahahah... well, not gonna deny it. I love Haddock, one of the most entertaining characters I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

Come to think about it, Ward's relationship with Erzheimer kinda reminds me of Haddock's unlikely friendship with Calc-- urgh... uh, Cuthbert.

Of course, Haddock's real fun, but you also gotta respect how much of a good person he is, flaws and all. Like sure, he has his bad problems with alcohol and all, but then you watch him attempt to commit suicide to save Tintin's life, and well, dunno 'bout you, but I can only admire him.

I probably love these books for children too much, don't I... but it's my childhood! I am not ashamed of anything!

I still read them almost every day. Them and Asterix and Obelix were (are? I guess I'm still legally a child.) my childhood.

Haddock is a great character indeed. He functioned well in every role he had to play! Cutts. E. Butcher is still my favourite character, though.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tharkey sounds about right, yeah. He was a cool guy, a pretty nice one-off.

The Tintin series did have a lot of good one-off characters-Wolfe is very good. (Although he is technically a two-off.)

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

mean, Wendy at base also cannot kill Idoun. It's not really that much of an accomplishment.

Wendy at base could probably beat Fomortiiiis, though.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

"I like Catalonia, I like its people, [...] they do things"

Wise words. Wise words. My avi chooses to work full-time and he's 84.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Rinkah, though..

"Corrin's birthright will be birthwrong with me at the helm! Let's play Birthright Lunatic Ironman mode, while being Horribad at fire emblem!"

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, that's it. You win. You win the pun thing. Go home, everyone! Venice has won the thing!

Zictory!

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Vxqntpa3 oThank goodness... Please, I beg you! My Princess is in danger!

Why does she remind me of Florina but cuter? And we are soon getting, "I've already been captured three times and crippled four times in only four maps" unit no. 2!

Well, see you all next century when I get back from Ch. 6 again! Don't break the Brymranger!

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5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The port's... decent. Could be worse, but it could be better

Yeah. It's like the main part of the Song in the original version becomes the secondary in the MIDI, and the like background part in the original now takes center stage and is more noticeable in the MIDI version.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He has a pretty unique loadout, wielding both swords and bows. Think promoted Lyn, only he's actually good.

oooh shoots fired lol

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wow, calm down, music! She's not that epic... is she?

the first 20 seconds or so of the song reminded me of a song that appears in smash but idk which one. And a bit into the song it sounded like one of FFVI's  leitmotifs

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Yes, that's... indeed what she just said. Was that truly so complicated that we needed a summary?

Well when he's interrupting so much and making a big deal out of it (like Eliwood when Athos says a single word*) then he probably needs a summary for himself.

*Athos: We found a magical weapon
Eliwood: A magical weapon?
Athos:Yes, and it can seal dragons
Eliwood: Seal Dragons?
Athos: Yes, and [IMPORTANT THING] is-
Eliwood: ... Important...thing?

I don't get how Athos nor Hector and Lyn don't rage at this point.

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Frankly, I just wanted to give him a cheap dish that he liked for the happiness.

*cough cough* sounds like something I would do in ((((((((((((((((((((((three houses))))))))))))))))))))) *cough cough*

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
V1c0cu9o o

Derrick, of course, gets a special line. Because he's a truly special person.

Mind-boggling. Astonishing. Truly beautiful. A piece of art. You don't realize though why this line is so important though.
It is because he truly is happy for the food, but he won't thank you, not out of anger or despite but because of the history he and the player shares. Being enemies has affected him, seeing how kind the player actually is and shaming himself for being once your enemy. He won't say anything out of shame. Another piece of evidence towards this is his armor, he won't take it off; but why? Because it itself functions as a barrier to hide himself, ashamed of being your enemies, he won't show his head.

I think I drank way too much retard juice I'm going to play Birthright because negative plus negative is positive right?

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On 4/24/2020 at 4:44 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

I thought Peri was just Fire Emblem Harley Quinn. I mean new 52 era Harley Quinn with the two-tone hair, odd complexion, and doubly screwy personality to make up for the fact they tried to lean away from the one thing she was known for.

Maybe. I knew going into Fates that I wouldn't like Peri for how casually she tries to murder people and that the game tries to pass it off as just a "quirk". I still hate her for that reason, but what surprised me when I first played Conquest is that I didn't find anything she said or did to be all that entertaining. Every other character I could think of that joked about killing tended to have some great black comedy quips that served a secondary purpose, such as it being a possible coping mechanism or to show how little the person cared about taking a life. I didn't find that all with Peri. I hate to use the phrase because I find it to be limiting, but I really have seen characters like Peri done before and done far better.

On 4/24/2020 at 4:44 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

For me, it's not incredibly bad. I've found locally (ie the area I'm allowed to travel in without permits), there's been less than 50 cases total. Which is to say... I'm probably not in much danger

On 4/24/2020 at 4:44 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

The whole virus is just a pain to be honest. I'm just wondering how easy it'll be to vaccinate against, given from a historic perspective, we've never actually had a vaccine against a coronavirus. Mind, given the typical coronavirus is going to cause something like viral bronchitis (the ironically named human coronavirus, which at the time was the only one known to affect humans), there's never been motivation to. And necessity is the mother of invention.

Yeah, it's not bad where I'm at either. I can still take walks without having to worry about wearing a mask, I can buy food without issue, and my day-to-day life is like having summer vacation again. I'd rather be at work, sure, but I was prepared to be in this kind of situation eventually.

I won't lie, though, several of the actions taken by those in charge do have me worried. I won't get into conspiracy theory territory, but I can't shake the sense that there is something more going on behind the scenes.

On 4/24/2020 at 4:44 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

That said, the fact my brother's pups (the first of which was bought to keep the  blind dog company after the older dog died, and the second of which was bought to help the other one work off energy so he wasn't constantly trying to play with the blind dog, who is pretty much 14 at this point) were on the trampoline. Resulting in a photo of them with the quote attached. Which lead to me questioning what the hell that meant. I'm still not honestly sure, but I know I like quoting it.

Heh, fun story. Don't blame you at all for quoting it, that phrase was just asking to become a meme.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I made far worse blunders in that LP! How is it that this is the one everyone remembers!?

Probably because it came with an easily exploitable meme?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Now it's something more akin to this:

Zwvfgzns o

Accurate.

Also, I didn't know that Timmy's father looked so good in a beard.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahahah! Oh, man... now we just need mint-flavored McFlurry.

And here I thought you didn't like my McFlurry jokes.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah...

Aaaahhhh... you in particular are going to love that one.

Love as in it will involve non-lethal tactics, or "love" in that we'll kidnap unrelated people for not-so-innocent reasons?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This may sound rather tone-deaf, but I think this is the first time I've seen you swear. You've wished bloody death on people a thousand times, but I'm fairly certain I haven't seen you type the word "shit" before. That's how you know this is serious business.

I have said the S-word 11 times, the F-word once (and once with the -ing) and "damn" enough for 2 pages of search results.

Also, I've said "trampoline" almost as many times as I've said damn (technically more because for some reason "trampolines" is considered a separate word), I've mentioned Panne 88 times, Kellam 74 times, Stahl 44 times, Laurent and fox I've mentioned the same amount of times, same with rope and gag, I brought up knights 91 times and Taguel over 60...

I don't remember if I've mentioned it on an LP before, but getting creative with search engines is one of my odder habits. And I've talked about otters exactly twice, and that makes me sad.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's kinda me, as well. My problem is often lore books and notes, though. If it's something like "this character's note to that character" I'll read it fine, but if it's more like "the story of this country from the game", I just can't be bothered. Dunno why.

Probably because worldbuilding, as great as it is, isn't always relevant to the story, and those kinds of backstories tend to fall into that category.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I guess that means Kaga didn't do that first. Thankfully...

He may have made a character that jokes killing before, but it was probably handled better.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's definitely a good habit to have. It would've saved me from Three Houses!

I am glad about your review in the previous LP. It did help keep my expectations in check. I don't regret buying Three Houses at all, though I would call it a game I liked but didn't love. The new mechanics were cool, the cast was pretty well-rounded, and battles were still the best part of the game. Unfortunately, the monastery stuff just drags the pace down significantly, and while I don't think it is necessarily a bad looking game, it has way too many visual hiccups in presentation, animation, and graphics that I would list it as a negative in a review. It's not a bad game and I can see why others enjoy it, but I would rather play several other Fire Emblem games before replaying Three Houses.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Yes! I should've expected no less from you, my dear, oblivious, bloodthirsty cinnamon roll!

That's actually not the first time I saw such a phrase. The first was in the Ctrl+V forum game:

Spoiler

Honestly I wouldn't mind being stepped on by a girl ATM. I've got pretty good bones so I'm certain I could handle a lady's weight. The additional pressure would help stretch some muscles I haven't used in a while. Plus there's the obvious advantages of having a beautiful woman's foot on top of my body. Yeah I could go for some stepping.

That said, I don't really have an idea of what the heck they were talking about, either.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's really sad, when you think about it. FE archers almost always have good accuracy and fire their bows correctly, and yet, the likes of Raquel, Holmes, Leonie, Sylvis, a half-archer we'll meet today, Vestaria's Dune... just completely kick their asses. Heck, Sherlock has as much of an unfortunate start as all the scrubs from FE, but he has the potential to become motherfriggin' Rutger. Eh, as a unit, not a character.

Maybe Takumi was onto something by being in a game with over-the-top animation. Though he also had a magical bow and skills that prevented him from being cheesed as an archer. He was strong enough to be a worthy final boss, at least.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Please, do. I guarantee you it cannot be as mean-spirited as anything Butterman would do.

LP_Mean-Spirited_Meme.png?width=551&heig

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

There have been like a thousand goes at it. It's in FE4, in FE5, in TRS, in BWS, in VS, in FE9, in FE10...

Technically FE2/15, where Alm has to land the killing blow, though a cleric with Nosferatu can finish the job as well, and other units can still damage Duma during the first half of the fight.

It does seem that the more recent titles have largely dropped the concept, though.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What you're telling me is that you're expecting him to be Garon. Raise your expectations, please. This is Berwick Saga!

Better than Garon in the writing department, worse everywhere else.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Still not as bad as anything my favorite Spanish president Mariano Rajoy has said. Like, get this. These are literal (translated as best I could) quotes from him, I'm not even joking:

And some people wonder why others don't give a crap about politics.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
P6emt2ja o

No kidding! No fucking kidding, Ledouche! Ward lost his daughter to your stupid fucking plan! Uh, his daughter he didn't seem to acknowledge...

Meoilxpy oIt all worked out in the end.

Uedfz3v4 o What!? Reese, that ain't true! Our losses were grievous! Grievous! Say it like it is, Reese!

Meoilxpy oThis has certainly been a learning experience for me.

While I'm not surprised, I suppose not every mission can acknowledge that a character died.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Nqg7r3sp o

The orb itself is quite cool, though. It has innate Vantage and Mercy, and it's quite accurate to boot. It's the perfect tome to keep your healers safe from assassins and the like, since they can just end most battles before they even start. It also works well as a Jeiganing tool and to set up cripplings.

That's... actually a surprisingly fitting and practical weapon for a healer.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Coowb48k o

Wait-- Tianna didn't tell him what the big deal was until now? She just left him to worry that his daughter might've gotten raped up until now?! What the hell, Tianna!?

Yeah, that does seem like an odd thing not to tell him.

Thought that just makes me curious what failing this event results in.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
C1o8szp9 o

Ps4nmuuw o......

Phrbyqeh o......

Definitely one of the more understandable moments of awkward silence I have seen.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
K93hy4su o

I mean, need I say anything more? These little beauties will fix all of Sherlock's problems in one fell swoop. Or, they can make Sylvis even more hilarious. Your choice. I think I'll hand them over to Sherlock later. Sylvis doesn't require any aid to shoot her way straight into my heart.

Dang! No wonder Tianna said they were expensive, and why you held onto them before realizing you could combine arrows.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ou13fw9j o

I can actually refuse to give it to him. This'll come in handy in the future, but we've no use for a dark orb, so he can have it.

Really? It's not often I see a game where being able to refuse something is a good option.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Diucrdtw o

The "scent"...? What? You mean, the scent of Fermat's pocket and hand sweat? Okay, sure, whatever you say...

Why would you smell...?

You know what? As long as he doesn't taste anything or say "erotic" again, he can do him.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Egfn6hqp o16cowego oHl1ulbjb o

Wormwood is a bitter herb, a star in Revelation 8:10-11 that falls on the Earth and poisons a third of the waters, a character in the Screwtape Letters, and the last name of Calvin's teacher in Calvin and Hobbes. I'm curious what Kaga was referencing with that one.

Also, I am totally naming some weapons "Gore Fork" now. That is such a simple yet hilarious and awesome name.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

However, there's exactly one of these items that is much, much more difficult to obtain than the rest. You see, there is only one Albatross in the entire game, and it's hidden away in a paralogue that we may or may not get, depending on whether I can keep Kramer alive or not. Even if we do make it there, the sword is on a slippery swordmaster that does not drop it. If we get there, I'll definitely savescum that capture, because there's just no other way to get the damned thing.

Is the Albatross a gun? It kinda looks like one honestly. Could be wrong and it's just a special sword, though. Named after a bird.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o Hahahah... I love these two, seriously. And the best part is, this isn't merely a fetch quest for money. Every few items, we'll get special scenes featuring Erzie and Ward's wacky adventures. A couple of them are really fun, so I hope I get to show them off.

I suppose sometimes the best way to make a fetch quest rewarding is not so much to provide money or items but to have several hilarious scenes play out by sticking with it.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
3adttwhe oSomhy8ge o

He sounds like a Navarre, but the intent here is that his armor muffles every word he says beyond comprehension. Except his price, of course. With a fee like that, you can just tell that he's a joke unit.

......

Greetings, no that's seven letters.

Hello is five, but six with a period. Same with Howdy.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hajible5 o

Didn't notice it last time, but this guy shares his name with a Lord of the Rings character.

Not that I blame Kaga, that series is awesome.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sqf8mqvk o

Heck, he's even called a ranger, although that's more fitting for Aragorn.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hpumaeor o

.... .. .. ....!

Will me to for... no.

You, my, no, that doesn't start it off.

Take me to fight? No. Battles? No. Take me to wars? Maybe. Take me to kill? More likely.

... This guy's speech pattern is going to cause some of my replies to come late, won't it?

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
8qbfcohg o

Lgjkwhcy oBlistering barnacles! Ward, what the heck? That was uncalled for! She came running in the dead of night to beg for your help! How is that "abandoning" her?

I take it "retreat" isn't a word in Ward's dictionary?

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Vxqntpa3 oOh, Sherpa's a mercenary who we hired back in Rosenberg. Strong and dependable!

9qk5ifz8 o That's an understatement. We'll meet him next time, and we'll see just how "strong and dependable" he is.

Is he the guy that's missing an eye? I know one of the Berwick characters has a scar that goes over their eye.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fhebsxwj o

Her epitaph's a bit generic, but just the fact that there's a grave we can visit is a neat gesture. Axel has got by far the most heartbreaking epitaph. I know because Aethin, the bastard, didn't warn me when he translated the epitaphs, and so it caught me completely unaware. It's just another reason to keep him safe no matter the cost.

I am curious as to what the rest of the epitaphs are while at the same time hoping we don't see them.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Wytdjihh o

5ppfqll8 oThese are the deceased's belongings. Please, take them.

Czfgacue o

Kind of them to give back the dead unit's inventory. I'm not sure why they couldn't do that automatically, though. I guess it's Kaga's way of punishing those who won't come to pay their respects to the units they led to their deaths.

Guess Kaga did it first.

And in a rather sad fashion, too.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Gmmcpshs oY0lvwnqx o

Time to gear up. First, I'd like to show the difference between the standard Imperial LShield and the version Derrick's carrying. Essentially, Derrick's shield trades off one point of defense in exchange for 10% more shielding rate. It's okay, but the E durability for both is not ideal.

Maybe Derrick customized it to be a little less durable but easier to wield?

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rhptwmro o

......

Tasty.

That's my guess.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Yc69jiiv o

Axel-- pfffffffft... okay, no, I made sure to give him something he liked. I just found his negative reaction to be hilariously deadpan.

Heh heh heh, so Kaga did it first.

I am so glad that IS stole this for Echoes. The voice clips for when characters comment on food is hilarious.

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It's nice that you get a dead unit's inventory back, at least.  Makes more sense than having it magically appear in inventory during the next chapter.  And also a stark reminder of your screw-up.

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I did it! I beat ch. 6's main mission! All it cost me was Izerna! Seriously, is it even possible to fulfill every citizen request and keep all of your units alive? If you manage to beat Ch.6 without any deaths and complete THE citizen request, I will...Hmm...I won't Rickroll you again! Just for the added incentive, I guess.

And please tell me that Izerna's not important...

Spoilers for ch. 6:

Spoiler

Barselphon looked like a Bareselphony from a mile away. When I got the net, I thought "Either they're kinky or something's going on here..." Reese is kinda thick-skulled sometimes.

 

Edited by Benice
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1 hour ago, Benice said:

I did it! I beat ch. 6's main mission! All it cost me was Izerna! Seriously, is it even possible to fulfill every citizen request and keep all of your units alive? If you manage to beat Ch.6 without any deaths and complete THE citizen request, I will...Hmm...I won't Rickroll you again! Just for the added incentive, I guess.

I can't say I ever felt that chapter 6 was particular difficult. Feels downright like a wind down map after chapter 5, to be honest. Lander dude is dangerous and all, but he is still just one guy and can most certainly be managed, considering he can't counter.

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Just now, BrightBow said:

I can't say I ever felt that chapter 6 was particular difficult. Feels downright like a wind down map after chapter 5, to be honest. Lander dude is dangerous and all, but he is still just one guy and can most certainly be managed, considering he can't counter.

Huh. Maybe it's because I used only godawful units? By the time I've taken down the bloke with a lance, it's already turn 18. With any of the prepromotes, it'd probably be more manageable. I also didn't actually find ch. 5 to be super hard. I just sent Aegina through the secret tunnel and Bopped the boss on his head.

Or maybe I'm just bad. I'm going with that.

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18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbclvnd4 oSimply awe-inspiring! Greater than anything I'd dreamed! This will make a fine addition to my collection!

ytCm4FJ.jpg

(Yes, I threw this line in just because I could.)


Since I'm the only one who knows Derrick's lines (having made them up in order to turn them into dots), I'll transcribe them as they come up:

Spoiler


18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
3adttwhe o

This one is actually just a pause. Alternatively, I guess you could say it's "Hello." ...But that wasn't my intent.

18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Hpumaeor o

"I'll do my best!"

18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rhptwmro o

Also another empty pause.

I promised a playtester waaaaay back at the beginning of translation that I'd translate Derrick's food lines like this:

  • Likes: "...!"    (a gasp)
  • Neutral: "......"   (an awkward pause)
  • Dislikes: "...?"   (a confused grunt)

(In the Japanese version, his dislike quote is 「ハァ‥‥」 "Haa..." The implication seems to be that the food is so bad, he makes a sound loud enough to be actually audible.)

 

(Kept in spoilers for those who want to guess.)

 

18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

3cxl4xfi oAllow me to get this straight... You and Princess Aegina, a surviving member of the House of Riana, have been on the run from the Empire. During your travels, you stopped in the city of Rosenberg and hired a mercenary named Sherpa. However, despite your caution, you were found nonetheless. This Sherpa fellow told you to come here to Navaron and seek help while he dealt with the situation. And now, you have come as ordered, and you are asking us to rescue them. Do I have that right?

Lgjkwhcy o Yes, that's... indeed what she just said. Was that truly so complicated that we needed a summary?

My exact reaction when translating this. Perhaps Ward had a few pints of ale at Alex's tavern before coming here; it'd explain why he's so short-tempered and needs to summarize for proper comprehension.

 

18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Wytdjihh o

5ppfqll8 oThese are the deceased's belongings. Please, take them.

I find it amusing that this guy looks like he could be Herman, but the nose and mouth are just a little different:

definitely_not_herman.png.7afe518229357cbbc717f5f3b211c08f.png

I guess this gravekeeper also gets a little more sun than Herman, too.

 

18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

IT'S YA GIIIIIIIIIIRL

Seriously, Rosalie is my favorite female character in the game. (Favorite male character is of course Derrick.)

 

18 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Haa13wox o

Everyone, to the team-- wait, say what?

Byxynzyl o

Ohhh, I see. I've no space for more active units.

This one is particularly aimed at Ruben: Have you ever done made Derrick the one to tell you your party's full? He and Reese have a little exchange about it.

 

On 4/18/2020 at 9:27 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Inna8bkn o

Uedfz3v4 o ...okay, scratch that - maybe, just maybe, it's in that way too...

3cxl4xfi oPerhaps Lord Reese believes it to be mere filial affection, but Lady Lynette is quite enamored with him.

9qk5ifz8 o Ah, yes. Japan's favorite trope: incest-except-not-because-they're-technically-not-brother-and-sister! We sidestepped it in the last LP by having Shigen hook up with Sierra and Julia with Garo. This time, though? We cannot avoid it.

I think this was summed up best by Bosswin (in jest):

QYVUKbG.png

 

And now for some fanart that I want to shove on people:

Spoiler

Our Glowing Savior:

Hb8s6fW.png

The Many Expressions of Derrick:

J5LFfbD.jpg

"It's Derrick:"

ErWld4G.png

"Derrick, Watch Out!" (from Chapter 2-2)

NRAbWQb.png

A one-panel comic by a Japanese fan, translated by yours truly:

zvBLajr.png

 

jjHkX0f.png

K2Uar9B.png

 

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On 4/26/2020 at 12:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fhebsxwj o

Come to think of it, as her closest relative, Ward would no doubt have been the one to provide the inscription for her gravestone. So this inscription is rather telling of his indifference towards her.

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Part 16 - Yes! Derrick!

So, you know how a few updates ago I said I was playing FE3? Well, guess what; I got bored, so now I'm playing Radiant Dawn instead.

So far, I'm enjoying it. It's not all that impressive (though I doubt anything FE will ever impress me again after Berwick Saga), but at least it's making me think a bit, which is more than its predecessor can say. Sadly, I cannot make a funny video of Fiona/Meg/Oliver killing the final boss, because of the "Ike has to do everything!" bullshit. Meh.

Anyway, I noticed something pretty weird. Lekain and Guenchaos are vastly different characters, but... aren't their designs really similar? FE10!Lekain's design, at least. The robes, the color scheme, even their poses are pretty close. Really, the facial hair's their biggest difference. How peculiar.

Qeaohdnu o:

Spoiler
On 4/26/2020 at 1:53 PM, Pengaius said:

*sniff, sniiff, hic, sniffle* WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHWUHBENS BEIN MWEAN TO MWEEEEEEEEHHHH!!! Eh I'm over it.

How inmature.

Now excuse me while I continue to make dirty jokes about all the females in the game and react to all the deaths in the exact same way.

I mean, if you look in the Ruben Corporation payroll list, you'll see it right there Pengaius: PR punman, €12.50 an hour, 4x8 hrs a week. 

Hmmmmmmm...

Quote

Ruben from the Editing Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

Ruben from the Proofreading Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

Ruben from the LPing Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

Ruben from the Portrait-making Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

Pengaius: €12.50 an hour, 4x8 hrs a week.

Ruben from the Image Editing Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

Ruben from the Sylvis Shrine Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

Ruben from the Eugen Shrine Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

Ruben from the RNGoddess Sacrifice Altar Room: €00.00 an hour, 12x7 hrs a week.

I can't believe it! You really are there! HR Ruben, what the heck is the meaning of this?!

Ruben: Pengaius no!

Pengaius: Pengaius yes!

Damn you...!

*Pengaiius, theme fades out*

If only I could build an inator to destroy you!

Hmmm, Derrick does have some pretty decent vibes, but they don't resonate correctly, y'know?

Yeah, I know: he's an excellent meme and so you want to stan him, but I like him, so your desire to be a memelord conflicts with your desire to be my archnemesis.

Not-Volo's vibes are pretty whack. 

See?

No unit I can stan yet, so see ya when next I'm relevant. Ta-ta!

Son of a...! Damnable contrarian, get back here and stan Derrick this instant!

 

On 4/26/2020 at 2:42 PM, BrightBow said:

Well, it was a method used for the resurrection of Dark Dragons in Mystery of the Emblem, Tear Ring Saga and Vestaria Saga. In the latter's case it helps resurrecting demons too. So it's very much a Kaga thing.

Yeah, well, if IntSys did it, they'd do it worse. As everything else. No, I am not a Kaga fanboy.

No, wait, I actually am. Scratch that.

It's accuracy is really nifty. It might not seem that high, but the thing is that the Light Orb skill increases 4 times as fast as ordinary weapons. So practically speaking, it's super accurate. This also makes Izerna's promotion very fast to get, since all she needs is 30 Light Orb rank.

I didn't know that. Maybe I would've taken her more seriously if I did. Or... nah, I'd still use Owen every time.

As for me, I missed so many Overwatch shots that I made it a habit to have Sylvis always carry some of those around. Too bad those arrow batches can't be separated.

Yeah... oh, well.

It's nice that here they actually seemed to have realized that a 3 move combat unit is just not gonna be all that great, durability be damned. I mean, they didn't seem to have noticed back in Tear Ring Saga.

Well, they did give Norton a horse and Billford a movement growth. Norton's problem is that Narron usually takes the first crest before he can, really. Tom and Hagar are obvious memes.

I still wish Derrick's weapon growths weren't complete garbage, though.

Well, can't have everything, rigth? Godrick would break the game in half if he used more than 2% of his power.

This whole active/inactive system is so strange.
Well, I do actually kinda appreciate it for making item management easier. I always keep everyone inactive except the ones being deployed on the next mission. So I can easily go between units that currently matter and those who will be glorified storage bags for the time being.
...of course it would be even easier if the damn game just had a proper item storage in the first place.

Well, the game does hand you a convoy eventually!

...if you manage to complete Erzheimer's whole quest. That's even worse than TLP's convoy that arrives well into the midgame.

Well, technically speaking you serve Volcens, but sure.

Can we forget that for just five minutes? I'd much rather serve Roswick, thank you very much.

This scene is strange, with Ward being portrayed as so short tempered. Sure, Rosalie is intended to be a bit wacky, but in this scene it's really just Ward who's acting weird.
Especially if you consider that he has the patience of a saint when dealing with people like Erzheimer.

To be fair, Erzheimer's more like a walking money bag in Ward's eyes. You don't argue with the money bag.

...although he is written as similarly short-tempered when meeting Saphira. So maybe he just can't stand young girls and that's why he always avoided his daughter like the plague.

You know, as worrisome as that is, it's... an oddly consistent trait of his.

Receiving the inventory of fallen party members. That's another one of the ever growing list of things that Kaga did first, I suppose.

Kaga just does everything first. He's like, the great grandson of Jules Verne. Er, Japanese great grandson.

Still, might be best to be careful that she doesn't spit in your food or something.

Well, everyone seemed to love the food, so either she did nothing to it or my folks have some, uh, peculiar tastes.

Yeah. They all say they loved the food regardless of their reaction previously. I'd imagine the characters would have been intended to react differently depending on whether or not they liked the food at least. So I guess that's just not something the devs had time to implement
...or maybe they all just don't dare to mouth off in front of their liege. Yeah, that's probably it.

That could be it. I mean, Reese's neutral reaction is "is it okay if I just say this is acceptable?". Couldn't be any more stiff if he tried. The army's probably afraid he'll snap in half if they react with any emotion.

 

On 4/26/2020 at 3:25 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Can we swap that guy for Christine? I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Sadly, we cannot do that.

To be fair, that makes him indirectly responsible for everything Volcens ever has done. Which only magnifies the sin, because Volcens cannot hope to take credit for the sins of his father.

Oh, well don't hold your breath on that one. Volcens will do his fair share of shit. Just... not Mordias-level of shit.

What happens if I take an existing Lyrical version of "Unstoppable Destiny (or against the Black Knight)" and turn it into a song about Faye and Chaos? Take the whole thing so ridiculously full circle we turn into a sphere instead.

That would be hilarious.

The joke accompanying it. Very iconic. You did this to yourself with good comedy.

I suppose so... damn you, me! Why must you be good at your job for once?!

To be fair, even my friend told me if he got Ganondorf'd that hard (I.E. a 0 to death by using a down b to spike off stage) he'd probably have rage quit too.

I think I might've. But I probably would've quitted earlier due to the inmense lag. It wasn't even me, either, because there were matches that were fine. It was just... 75% unplayable, 25% good. Thanks, Ninty. Totally worth the 20 8 euros.

I guess I kind of take the creek for granted given it's.. you know, been there my whole life. Mind I haven't gotten halfway down the list of oddities concerning my life. Mind I have a friend who owns an opal mine. Mind I'm talking about an old lady that I help with walking her dog, not someone my age. No idea what the opal mine's worth though.

Jesus, a mine, a creek, medieval weapons... all I have are old toy cars, bells, an ancient radio and a fancy clock in my room!

I literally used to pun my ex's name. I mean, more than I'd call her it. I swear if that one wasn't the one I broke up with instead of the other way around, I'd be remarking that's probably why I'm single.

Hwahahahah... sorry for laughing. But it's laugh-worthy.

Also, I recently went back through the Tear Ring Saga LP to note the locations of all my songs in case I ever compile them. Besides getting a few images for later use, I was reminded about Macellan killing Medeus in Shadow Dragon.

Macellan killing Medeus! Goddamnit, that was also epic.

It does kind of make sense to focus on games with no western release. I usually find it better to play a game than to watch it. Then again, you'd probably get away with it anyway.

Playing games is better most of the time, yes. I mean, the only added thing you get from a LP is the LPer, and why would anyone consider me an upside?

Heck, then there's the Emperor Joker storyline from Superman... where he stole Mr. Myxtlplk's powers... and used those godlike powers to actually kill her. And also put Batman in a loop of being devoured by vultures, regenerating, and being devoured again. He also turned Aquaman into "Aqualung" (that is he put him in an iron lung as his idea of a joke). I just like the fact that Harley literally went straight back to him after the time he did literally kill her. I don't even have words for how screwed up that dynamic is. You know the biggest irony of it all though? Harley's original interview with the Joker was an attempt to prove her hypothesis he was faking insanity and get him sentenced to death (as shown in a Batman story by Paul Dini, the guy who created Quinn in the first place). This bastard literally corrupted a woman who was out for his demise into his toy. Definitely not a relationship goal to anyone sane... but alas, this is a world that's less than rational.

Tell this to the shippers. Hah! Good luck makin'em see reason!

That, actually seems kind of normal compared to the others. Unnecessary, yes, but it does help separate the quotes. That said, I like the one about the water that falls from the sky. I relate to that. I too don't understand the processes of evaporation and of condensation resulting in rainfall.

Rajoy couldn't speak a lick of any foreign language even though he was the leader of a country, didn't know why rain happens, could not speak to save his life (much less to a crowd), and was an obviously corrupt politician. What a man.

Then again, all of the other spanish politicians are the same, with the added downside that I cannot laugh at them. It's... a sad situation, to say the least.

You mean the one that's got a terrible strength growth despite being the Hoshidan discount bin fighter? Someone was having a joke there. Mind, probably right up your alley if bad unit.

A bad unit, too? Oh, yes...!

How did a city beat the readers? Do I have to make Veniceon out of them for this?

Well, keep in mind that this is a thread spearheaded by a literal saint, apparently. Logic went out the window the moment it started.

When is this going to turn into a Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog parody with "Doctor Rubeotnik" screaming "I hate that Butterman" at the end of every episode? Also giving his units prrromotions.

That's a brilliant idea! But my mustache is too sad and tiny to be Robotnik's.

Plot twist. He thinks Volo's in your army.

Bwahahahahahah... turns out he's a good guy all along.

If her surname's "Voyant" I'm done.

I... don't think it's ever revealed. So it could very well be.

For a man with such strange... interests... he doesn't seem that bad.

Oh, absolutely. Erzheimer's a moron and overly obsessed with his collection, but as far as rich nobles go, he's definitely not one of the bad ones. I mean, he could be like Lentzenheimer. You know, the dude who got the entire continent, up to and including the insane cultists, to despise him?

Wouldn't trust him near pottery, but...

Bwahahahahahahahaha... once again, I expected a lot of things, but "the vase pervert" was definitely not one of 'em!

Doesn't he have a 0% growth in defense to kind of counterbalance that? (yes I've seen the growth rates on the guy)

Yes, but everyone else's growths are so bad that it'll take them a long time to catch up to Derrick. And then he's got the big shields, of course.

Certainly depressing.

That was probably the intent.

Except for an actual Bastard...

We don't talk about him.

 

On 4/26/2020 at 4:51 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

So seeing as Valery's back and being a douchebag as usual, I decided to write that song. Remember how I said it was about a guy starting with V, and you thought it was Volcens? Oops. Not that I haven't got an idea (ok more than one) for him... but this one's seen fruition. I took that "A Crooked Man" song from Babes in Toyland that I vaguely mentioned discovering last time (or the time before last). If you look back I actually hinted at this three times, counting that. The most blatant of which was when I literally posted the most recurring line in the whole song. Maybe next time we'll get a look at Volcen's cruelty.

Ahahahahah, I'm glad this has come out of my characterization of Valery. Damnable rascal...

Although, I must say, he has my full support if he wants to have Volcens executed.

 

On 4/26/2020 at 6:19 PM, Benice said:
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Time to redo everything up to ch. 7's main mission...For the third time...

Jeez, man! I'm so sorry...

I still read them almost every day. Them and Asterix and Obelix were (are? I guess I'm still legally a child.) my childhood.

Ah! A kid! In my thread!? But my highly intelectual dissertations and profound, subtle humor are only meant to appeal to the elite of humankind! It's the only way for filthy elitist scum such as myself!

...let's ignore the fact that, if my guess is correct, I'm younger than 75% of the people who regularly reply...

Haddock is a great character indeed. He functioned well in every role he had to play!

Preach, blistering barnacles!

Cutts. E. Butcher is still my favourite character, though.

The butcher everyone kept calling? That's an odd choice, but fine one all the same. Mine's probably a toss-up between Haddock and Cuthbert. I love every second those two get. Especially when they're together, they make a most marvelous duo.

The Tintin series did have a lot of good one-off characters-Wolfe is very good. (Although he is technically a two-off.)

Oh yeah, Wolff.

Spoiler

I've never been the kind to cry with fiction. I'll be saddened by sad things, don't get me wrong, but full-on crying isn't something that tends to happen to me. Even so, might be because I was a small child back then, but Wolff's fate had me crying rivers. One of the best-written, most mature characters in the entire series.

Interestingly enough, Wolff's final note was originally much more direct and brutal, but if I recall correctly, Herge was forced to change it due to complaints that it was too much. The man was never happy with the second version, but personally, I think it benefitted from being more subtle, and the message wasn't any less obvious for it.

Like, false hope of a miracle is a perfectly believable thing for a guy to desperately cling onto as he jumps into space to give everyone else a chance to survive.

Can I just use this chance to recommend Tintin to everyone? They carry the "for kids" stigma, as always, but they're pretty amazing. And they have Haddock in them. Just like Eugen's presence in TRS, that is a selling point in and of itself. Like, seriously, I like the entire series, but it just gets 10 times better when that man appears.

Wendy at base could probably beat Fomortiiiis, though.

Uhhhhh... Yeah, probably.

Wise words. Wise words. My avi chooses to work full-time and he's 84.

Hahahahah! All words said by Rajoy are wise, to be fair.

"Corrin's birthright will be birthwrong with me at the helm! Let's play Birthright Lunatic Ironman mode, while being Horribad at fire emblem!"

No dude, I can't play birthright. It may have Rinkah, but where's the M A P   D E S I G N ?

Zictory!

Joohoo!

Why does she remind me of Florina but cuter?

Because she is.

And we are soon getting, "I've already been captured three times and crippled four times in only four maps" unit no. 2!

Hurray!

Well, see you all next century when I get back from Ch. 6 again! Don't break the Brymranger!

I'll try not to.

 

On 4/26/2020 at 7:07 PM, This boi uses Nino said:

Yeah. It's like the main part of the Song in the original version becomes the secondary in the MIDI, and the like background part in the original now takes center stage and is more noticeable in the MIDI version.

Could be better, but hey. It's still a hack that has Berwick Saga and Luigi. Seems made for me, right?

...sadly, everything else about it kinda displeases me. Not saying it's not an admirable effort, but I don't think I'd enjoy it that much.

oooh shoots fired lol

Well, it's the truth!

the first 20 seconds or so of the song reminded me of a song that appears in smash but idk which one. And a bit into the song it sounded like one of FFVI's  leitmotifs

I have no idea what either of those things are. The only time I've played a Final Fantasy, it was VI, but I dropped it shortly after meeting the, uh... the blond guy? Was he a prince? I can't remember... the desert palace? How far into the game even was that?

Well when he's interrupting so much and making a big deal out of it (like Eliwood when Athos says a single word*) then he probably needs a summary for himself.

*Athos: We found a magical weapon
Eliwood: A magical weapon?
Athos:Yes, and it can seal dragons
Eliwood: Seal Dragons?
Athos: Yes, and [IMPORTANT THING] is-
Eliwood: ... Important...thing?

I don't get how Athos nor Hector and Lyn don't rage at this point.

Ohohohohohohohoho... if this makes you mad, wait until you see Roy. Roy spends the entire fucking game speaking like this. Coupled with the fact that Merlinus is the guy he's talking to half the time, it just makes FE6's story difficult to stomach.

*cough cough* sounds like something I would do in ((((((((((((((((((((((three houses))))))))))))))))))))) *cough cough*

Ah! Do not speak that name in my presence! It is forbidden!

Mind-boggling. Astonishing. Truly beautiful. A piece of art. You don't realize though why this line is so important though.
It is because he truly is happy for the food, but he won't thank you, not out of anger or despite but because of the history he and the player shares. Being enemies has affected him, seeing how kind the player actually is and shaming himself for being once your enemy. He won't say anything out of shame. Another piece of evidence towards this is his armor, he won't take it off; but why? Because it itself functions as a barrier to hide himself, ashamed of being your enemies, he won't show his head.

Derrick/10.

I think I drank way too much retard juice I'm going to play Birthright because negative plus negative is positive right?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... well, I am playing Radiant Dawn even though I hated PoR, so...

 

On 4/26/2020 at 11:27 PM, Hawkwing said:

Maybe. I knew going into Fates that I wouldn't like Peri for how casually she tries to murder people and that the game tries to pass it off as just a "quirk". I still hate her for that reason, but what surprised me when I first played Conquest is that I didn't find anything she said or did to be all that entertaining. Every other character I could think of that joked about killing tended to have some great black comedy quips that served a secondary purpose, such as it being a possible coping mechanism or to show how little the person cared about taking a life. I didn't find that all with Peri. I hate to use the phrase because I find it to be limiting, but I really have seen characters like Peri done before and done far better.

She's a hilarious character, all right.

Yeah, it's not bad where I'm at either. I can still take walks without having to worry about wearing a mask, I can buy food without issue, and my day-to-day life is like having summer vacation again. I'd rather be at work, sure, but I was prepared to be in this kind of situation eventually.

This is mostly my situation, as well.

I won't lie, though, several of the actions taken by those in charge do have me worried. I won't get into conspiracy theory territory, but I can't shake the sense that there is something more going on behind the scenes.

We can only wait and see, I suppose.

Heh, fun story. Don't blame you at all for quoting it, that phrase was just asking to become a meme.

Indeed it was.

Probably because it came with an easily exploitable meme?

That much is true. Urgh...

Accurate.

Further urgh...

Also, I didn't know that Timmy's father looked so good in a beard.

He kinda does, actually.

And here I thought you didn't like my McFlurry jokes.

It's like the puns and Butterman. I'm tsundere for your McFlurry jokes.

Love as in it will involve non-lethal tactics, or "love" in that we'll kidnap unrelated people for not-so-innocent reasons?

Eheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh...

You're going to love it. Just... just trust me on this one.

I have said the S-word 11 times, the F-word once (and once with the -ing) and "damn" enough for 2 pages of search results.

Well, that cannot be. I'd remember if you did. It's remarkable enough!

Also, I've said "trampoline" almost as many times as I've said damn (technically more because for some reason "trampolines" is considered a separate word), I've mentioned Panne 88 times, Kellam 74 times, Stahl 44 times, Laurent and fox I've mentioned the same amount of times, same with rope and gag, I brought up knights 91 times and Taguel over 60...

Uhhhhhhh all right.

How many times have you mentioned Eugen? I will not take a lower number than all the rest combined, so if the result is unsatisfactory, I demand that you open up a thread that's just Eugen's name repeatedly.

I don't remember if I've mentioned it on an LP before, but getting creative with search engines is one of my odder habits. And I've talked about otters exactly twice, and that makes me sad.

What do you mean, "otters"?

Googling

...oooooohhhhhhh that's an otter. Hah.

Probably because worldbuilding, as great as it is, isn't always relevant to the story, and those kinds of backstories tend to fall into that category.

It doesn't help that those books tend to be extremely long. Those books demand that you pause the game and read plain text for 20 minutes. At least things like the law bible are integrated in the story and the characters. It's still bad, but not as bad.

He may have made a character that jokes killing before, but it was probably handled better.

Uh, let me think about it... I'm... not sure if he has, actually. That may be an IntSys original. Hurray...?

I am glad about your review in the previous LP. It did help keep my expectations in check. I don't regret buying Three Houses at all, though I would call it a game I liked but didn't love. The new mechanics were cool, the cast was pretty well-rounded, and battles were still the best part of the game. Unfortunately, the monastery stuff just drags the pace down significantly, and while I don't think it is necessarily a bad looking game, it has way too many visual hiccups in presentation, animation, and graphics that I would list it as a negative in a review. It's not a bad game and I can see why others enjoy it, but I would rather play several other Fire Emblem games before replaying Three Houses.

This is mostly how I felt about it. The hatred stems mostly from the unwarranted praise everyone gives it (which, admittedly, is starting to fade, thank God) and the inmense amounts of unrealized potential.

That's actually not the first time I saw such a phrase. The first was in the Ctrl+V forum game:

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Honestly I wouldn't mind being stepped on by a girl ATM. I've got pretty good bones so I'm certain I could handle a lady's weight. The additional pressure would help stretch some muscles I haven't used in a while. Plus there's the obvious advantages of having a beautiful woman's foot on top of my body. Yeah I could go for some stepping.

Ahhh... huh.

That said, I don't really have an idea of what the heck they were talking about, either.

You probably don't want to know. It'd make you say the F-word for the second time in your life, and that wouldn't do.

Maybe Takumi was onto something by being in a game with over-the-top animation. Though he also had a magical bow and skills that prevented him from being cheesed as an archer. He was strong enough to be a worthy final boss, at least.

I've heard about him, the fabled Sniper final boss. Gotta hand it to them, that is extremely unique.

LP_Mean-Spirited_Meme.png?width=551&heig

Ouch... okay, the tidbit about the bolding and underlining kinda hurt. Also, the ranting stopped about halfway into the sentence. Also also, I am not that fat and my suit doesn't blend into my chaOHMYGOD THAT IS NOT A BIG CHAIR THAT IS HIS FUCKING BACK BLISTERING BARNACLES CHRIST WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT MAN

Technically FE2/15, where Alm has to land the killing blow, though a cleric with Nosferatu can finish the job as well, and other units can still damage Duma during the first half of the fight.

Ah, right, I'd forgotten.

It does seem that the more recent titles have largely dropped the concept, though.

Honestly, I can't say I'll miss it that much. I don't usually mind it, but in Tellius I outright despise it. Ashnard's bullshit plot armor doesn't just force a second imhullu/starlight out of nowhere (BK was enough, thanks), it also makes one of the most incredibly badass battle quotes in the entire series inconvenient to see and impossible to carry through.

Quote

Ashnard: Is that you, Tauroneo? As I thought... You betrayed me after all.
Tauroneo: ...
Ashnard: In my father's time, there was a man who was one of the Four Steadfast Riders. That man grew old and useless, and retired from the front lines. How does his story end, you ask? Come, let us write it together.
Tauroneo: Oh, my king... In all of Daein's history, perhaps no other ruler has used the talents at his command to the degree you have... But all the same, no other king has chosen a path so incredibly stupid.
Ashnard: Heh heh heh... Will history judge me to be just or evil? We will not know until all of this is finished.
Tauroneo: ...Now that I've confronted you and traded words with you, I have come to a decision. Throughout Daein, I, Tauroneo, will be known as the king killer. Come! Let me earn my name!

Seriously. If he could've killed him after that, it would've been such a great moment. But nope! Gotta have little Ike get all the glory, because the developers really loved their male Faye! Heck, I almost believe that they only made it an option to let Tauroneo do that in Radiant Dawn so he could finally earn his name! In the saddest way possible, but it's more than PoR let him have!

...I'm worried about Ike in RD, to be honest. I've heard tales about how he takes over the story and becomes the center of the universe, and that might just suffice to make me despise him.

Better than Garon in the writing department, worse everywhere else.

That's about right.

And some people wonder why others don't give a crap about politics.

Hah... well, some may judge you, but I won't. Politics are depressing, and when all the choices are terrible, it's kind of disheartening to try and make a difference.

While I'm not surprised, I suppose not every mission can acknowledge that a character died.

The game handles it well enough. I can forgive the occassional blunder.

That's... actually a surprisingly fitting and practical weapon for a healer.

Indeed! A very interesting weapon of this game.

Yeah, that does seem like an odd thing not to tell him.

Thought that just makes me curious what failing this event results in.

Probably nothing, like the Esteban one.

Definitely one of the more understandable moments of awkward silence I have seen.

Yeah...

Dang! No wonder Tianna said they were expensive, and why you held onto them before realizing you could combine arrows.

Oh, never doubt it. Heck, even now that I know you can do that - even just one sniper arrow could potentially mean the difference between risking a life over a potshot and ensuring the unit's survival beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Really? It's not often I see a game where being able to refuse something is a good option.

Well, it's mostly because a few of the items he requests are useful. You can hold on to them until later.

Why would you smell...?

You know what? As long as he doesn't taste anything or say "erotic" again, he can do him.

Hahahahahahahah... poor Erzie. Judged, much like his friend from Tellius, Oliver.

Wormwood is a bitter herb, a star in Revelation 8:10-11 that falls on the Earth and poisons a third of the waters, a character in the Screwtape Letters, and the last name of Calvin's teacher in Calvin and Hobbes. I'm curious what Kaga was referencing with that one.

I... have no idea.

Also, I am totally naming some weapons "Gore Fork" now. That is such a simple yet hilarious and awesome name.

Hahahah... I hope we get to play around with a gore fork. It can actually be rather good on Adel.

Is the Albatross a gun? It kinda looks like one honestly. Could be wrong and it's just a special sword, though. Named after a bird.

Sword. Devil sword, to be precise.

I suppose sometimes the best way to make a fetch quest rewarding is not so much to provide money or items but to have several hilarious scenes play out by sticking with it.

Well, it's a nice bonus, as far as I'm concerned.

......

Greetings, no that's seven letters.

Hello is five, but six with a period. Same with Howdy.

Hahahahahah... this is gonna be your new pastime, ain't it?

Didn't notice it last time, but this guy shares his name with a Lord of the Rings character.

Not that I blame Kaga, that series is awesome.

That's what I've heard, at any rate.

Heck, he's even called a ranger, although that's more fitting for Aragorn.

Well, if the first google images are anything to go by, LotR's Faramir uses bows like BWS's Faramir. So there's that.

.... .. .. ....!

Will me to for... no.

You, my, no, that doesn't start it off.

Take me to fight? No. Battles? No. Take me to wars? Maybe. Take me to kill? More likely.

... This guy's speech pattern is going to cause some of my replies to come late, won't it?

I can see it comin' a mile away.

I take it "retreat" isn't a word in Ward's dictionary?

Was it a word in Eugen's dictionary? No, was it? There's your answer.

Is he the guy that's missing an eye? I know one of the Berwick characters has a scar that goes over their eye.

Indeed! You hit the jackpot. That's him.

I am curious as to what the rest of the epitaphs are while at the same time hoping we don't see them.

I hope we don't see any more. Especially not Axel's. Please.

Guess Kaga did it first.

And in a rather sad fashion, too.

That man was ahead of his time...

Maybe Derrick customized it to be a little less durable but easier to wield?

Could be, could be.

......

Tasty.

That's my guess.

Excellent.

Heh heh heh, so Kaga did it first.

He most certainly did!

I am so glad that IS stole this for Echoes. The voice clips for when characters comment on food is hilarious.

Yeah, they were neat, the four times I ever used food in that game.

 

On 4/26/2020 at 11:32 PM, eclipse said:

It's nice that you get a dead unit's inventory back, at least.  Makes more sense than having it magically appear in inventory during the next chapter.  And also a stark reminder of your screw-up.

Yeah, it's a cool way to do it. Even if it's extremely sad.

Come to think about it, he also did another thing first: as you accumulate deaths, the gravekeeper gives you some items. Not nearly unique or good enough to kill off units for them, but they're a decent compensation, I suppose. What I'm trying to say is, Kaga did Shadow Dragon gaidens first.

 

On 4/27/2020 at 2:15 AM, Benice said:

I did it! I beat ch. 6's main mission! All it cost me was Izerna!

Then there were no costs?

Seriously, is it even possible to fulfill every citizen request and keep all of your units alive? If you manage to beat Ch.6 without any deaths and complete THE citizen request, I will...Hmm...I won't Rickroll you again! Just for the added incentive, I guess.

Guilty as charged. Really, the most problematic part are the bosses.

...now's when I get there and lose all the team.

And please tell me that Izerna's not important...

Well, I've never used her past chapter 5, so... yeah.

Spoilers for ch. 6:

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Barselphon looked like a Bareselphony from a mile away. When I got the net, I thought "Either they're kinky or something's going on here..." Reese is kinda thick-skulled sometimes.

I could see it coming from the start. Still did it. Urgh... but I don't regret it, and you'll (we'll?) see why.

 

On 4/27/2020 at 3:33 AM, BrightBow said:

I can't say I ever felt that chapter 6 was particular difficult. Feels downright like a wind down map after chapter 5, to be honest. Lander dude is dangerous and all, but he is still just one guy and can most certainly be managed, considering he can't counter.

That much is true.

 

On 4/27/2020 at 3:37 AM, Benice said:

Huh. Maybe it's because I used only godawful units? By the time I've taken down the bloke with a lance, it's already turn 18. With any of the prepromotes, it'd probably be more manageable. I also didn't actually find ch. 5 to be super hard. I just sent Aegina through the secret tunnel and Bopped the boss on his head.

A-Aegina!? With Goebbels right there?! That is suicide! I sent FARAMIR once, and he died horribly! How did you pull that off?!

Or maybe I'm just bad. I'm going with that.

Embrace the badness. It's gotten me views, so there's that!

 

On 4/27/2020 at 8:03 AM, Aethin said:

ytCm4FJ.jpg

(Yes, I threw this line in just because I could.)

The Erzheimer quest in a nutshel:

Qcog2b87 o


Since I'm the only one who knows Derrick's lines (having made them up in order to turn them into dots), I'll transcribe them as they come up:

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This one is actually just a pause. Alternatively, I guess you could say it's "Hello." ...But that wasn't my intent.

"I'll do my best!"

Also another empty pause.

I promised a playtester waaaaay back at the beginning of translation that I'd translate Derrick's food lines like this:

  • Likes: "...!"    (a gasp)
  • Neutral: "......"   (an awkward pause)
  • Dislikes: "...?"   (a confused grunt)

(In the Japanese version, his dislike quote is 「ハァ‥‥」 "Haa..." The implication seems to be that the food is so bad, he makes a sound loud enough to be actually audible.)

 

(Kept in spoilers for those who want to guess.)

I also know them. They're comments in the files you generously sent me!

My exact reaction when translating this. Perhaps Ward had a few pints of ale at Alex's tavern before coming here; it'd explain why he's so short-tempered and needs to summarize for proper comprehension.

He's secretly been booze partners with Clifford all along.

I find it amusing that this guy looks like he could be Herman, but the nose and mouth are just a little different:

definitely_not_herman.png.7afe518229357cbbc717f5f3b211c08f.png

I guess this gravekeeper also gets a little more sun than Herman, too.

Oh wow, they really do look similar. Huh.

IT'S YA GIIIIIIIIIIRL

Seriously, Rosalie is my favorite female character in the game. (Favorite male character is of course Derrick.)

Hahah, well, I can understand the choice. She's pretty great.

This one is particularly aimed at Ruben: Have you ever done made Derrick the one to tell you your party's full? He and Reese have a little exchange about it.

I think I have seen it, yes. I liked it.

I think this was summed up best by Bosswin (in jest):

QYVUKbG.png

> Bosswin

> Dolphswin ushekelomiya

Anyway, that's uh... a way to view it, I suppose?

And now for some fanart that I want to shove on people:

  Hide contents

Our Glowing Savior:

Hb8s6fW.png

The Many Expressions of Derrick:

J5LFfbD.jpg

"It's Derrick:"

ErWld4G.png

"Derrick, Watch Out!" (from Chapter 2-2)

NRAbWQb.png

A one-panel comic by a Japanese fan, translated by yours truly:

zvBLajr.png

 

jjHkX0f.png

K2Uar9B.png

Yes! Derrick!

The non-Derrick things are funny too. Especially the Ward thing. But they're not Derrick.

Here, allow me to contribute a bit! Here's a thing I made months ago.

E2bdsxzc o

It's Derrick, in GBA style! You can use him for your hacks if you like.

 

On 4/27/2020 at 1:41 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Well his table manners is definitely better than glaring across the table at you. Not that you could tell with that helmet on. So maybe he does. Can we call him "Glare-rick" if he does?

Glare-rick.

Hyoa3gwx o

 

3 hours ago, BrightBow said:

Come to think of it, as her closest relative, Ward would no doubt have been the one to provide the inscription for her gravestone. So this inscription is rather telling of his indifference towards her.

Oh God... please refrain from saying things like that, will you?

 

W1vfq8mv o:

Spoiler
Ywyn9bgw o

And the other maiden and the six soldiers that may or may not also be mercenaries and/or maidens.

Cycdetpc o

Fog! Hurray! And just like in the last FoW map we played, our team is nowhere to be found at the start. You see, those two player units at the top of the map are Princess Aegina and Sherpa (I'm sure you can guess who's who). Sherpa is so amazing he has freed Aegina and taken her outside the fort before the map even had time to load. The NPC down there is Rosalie - we need to have Aegina speak to her, and then the team will appear and we can storm the fort. We could try storming the fort with just Sherpa and Aegina, but Aegina dies in two hits and Sherpa's starting weapon is not made for dodgetanking. Also, the team needs the combat training.

Ehmp3cjg o
 
Anyway, this is Sherpa. He looks a lot like Guts from Berserk, up to and including his combat animations. Considering how old and influential Berserk is, it would not surprise me if Kaga meant to reference that with Sherpa here. His personality is a completely different story, though.

Rkdow2fs oWe cannot simply leave! Those mongrels stole the sacred orb of Pallas Riana from me!

9qk5ifz8 o Fancy name. Must be a fancier weapon.

Rkdow2fs oIt is imperative that we retrieve it before we escape!

1w4wvxim oWe don't have time for that. We need to focus on getting away. If we're too busy looking for a dusty old ball, we might lose this chance.

Ri9hrmfk o

Lgjkwhcy o Yes, that's exactly the sort of thing you should say to the mercenary who has just saved your life.

Rkdow2fs oBesides, I will be needing that orb if I am to defend myself properly.

1w4wvxim oDon't kid yourself, Princess. You couldn't put up a decent fight against a single one of these guys.

9qk5ifz8 oNow, let's not go that far. She can't put up a decent fight... without the Pallas Riana. With it, she can do a good job of it.

Rkdow2fs oHmph!

1w4wvxim oI understand your hate for the Empire, but you'll just get killed out there. If you want to avenge your father, you'll have to get your hands dirty and learn how to fight properly.

Mu0ngxve o

Rkdow2fs oI know you speak truly... But knowing that does not make this situation any less frustrating! ...All right, let us be off. As you said, we must escape.

Naebl3ho o

Vxqntpa3 oHold on just a little longer... The knights are on their way!

Vmiiyibw o

There we go! Objective says to talk to Rosalie, but we'll see if that really is all there is to this.

Oln8a38i o63piwydu oXpcacst8 o

Ah, Sherpa. Another one of this game's best units. His bases are inmense, and his lack of horse and knight movement only benefits him on certain maps (case in point, this one, with all the cliffs and forests). His mercenary fee is quite high, but unlike Clifford and Faramir, he's extremely easy to recruit. You just have to get him to 1 happiness (yeah, one. Deploying him in a single main mission is enough), view an event and then do an extremely easy thing in a later map. He also has the most hilarious personal sword ever, the Brymranger.

This bad boy has the best durability rank a weapon can have without being unbreakable, a whopping 16 might, low-ish weight, and it's not just brave, it's triple brave. That's right - this grants Sherpa not one but two extra rounds, amounting to an absolute minimum of three hits. You know, three 29 attack hits. It does have two minor downsides: 50% hit is okay, but not ideal, and it cuts Sherpa's avoid by 50. It floors at 0, but he'll still be a sitting duck while using it - but one hell of a sitting duck.

And as if all that wasn't enough, his skillset seals the deal:

- Counter is kinda like Vengeful, only there's no increased damage, but it's guaranteed to happen every time. If Sherpa misses the counter, though, he might get doubled. Still, great skill to have.

- Another Guardsman that can be deployed in secondary missions? Cool!

- It's always nice to know that a unit's invincible to capturing. Fun fact: Though we've only met four characters with Robust, Faramir has Robust+. I think I've already explained it - it's just Robust but invisible for some reason. Considering who the units that have it are, I'm fairly certain they have it to quietly prevent some events from breaking if the unit was captured.

- Second blademaster! Compared to pitchforks, maces and lances, blade wielders are actually rather common.

- Windsweep is a command action that can only be taken prior to moving. It does exactly what it says there. Pretty awesome skill. I'll take anything that keeps risks low.

All in all, quite the formidable unit. His personal sword makes him into a delete button even more effective than the likes of Clifford (until he gets a lance, at least), and although he's not that remarkable defensively, his offense is among the greatest in the game. Quite fun, I'll deploy him at some point. I'll probably deploy everyone at some point. Except Volo. 'Cause fuck Volo.

08dcdxgo oZfh2lzvg o

Anyway, moving on to Aegina. Aegina isn't as immediately impresive, but she's perhaps more interesting. Aegina is the first mage we get. Mages work quite a bit differently from their FE counterparts. You know how in FE they're just better archers? Well, here they're more like utility supporters. You cannot frontline with a mage - you just can't. Their defenses are even worse than in FE, and they can't dodge that well. However, spells are very useful for a lot of situations. For instance, mages are one of the best options to take down knights. There are also enemies with weaknesses to certain magic types. A lot of spells have useful special properties that you'd only find in the rarest of physical weapons. Things like that.

E251hdbj o

Aegina herself specializes in wind magic, though she can dabble in fire if she wishes to. Wind magic has very low might and middling hit (for magic, which is overall more accurate than weapons), but each standard wind spell will have more strikes to 'em. The basic wind tome has two strikes. It's best used to finish off weakened enemies, I think, as you'll have multiple chances to do so on the same accuracy. But don't take this as gospel, I don't want to become the next IGN guide writer.

Anyway, back to Aegina. Her bases are garbage, but the utility of magic is enough to make her an invaluable deployment in certain maps. She requires 30 wind skill and 15 unit level to promote, but... frankly, she's a strong contender for the most useless, unnecessary promotion in the game. All she gains is a couple of minor stat gains. No skills, no new magic type, nothing. I've brought her promoted and unpromoted to the finale in my two runs, and her performance was exactly the same.

She has only two skills, but they're good ones:

- Focus Chant has a horrible cooldown timer of 7 turns, but when it does happen, it's great. Not only will the accuracy be greatly increased (and there's no requirement to sacrifice movement for it, like with Aim), but the power will also be improved by a small amount. Keep in mind that this applies to each hit, so wind will comparatively see a much greater might increase. This skill's best used in conjunction with a powerful orb, to ensure the enemy's absolute extermination.

- We first saw Miracle in the main mission. It serves Aegina as well as it served those two old-timers, Grimm and Sakhalin. Which is to say, not at all, if I can avoid it.

In summary, Aegina isn't a must-deploy like many FE mages, but her utility is great, and she'll be a lifesaver in certain maps down the line. I can only hope she survives that long. I'm not sure if I can be trusted with a unit this fragile.

Sohhqueh o

All right, first order of business. I could have Sherpa plow through the gate, but as I said, it's not worth it.

4l56ld7o o

Instead, Aegina flees east. Don't worry about her getting ambushed; remember that FoW also affects the enemy in this game.

Cnctabhl oGuyvrqdb o

Sherpa cannot get away in time, and is shot.

4fpojquk o

Too bad he's amazing, even with the dodge penalty. His dodge consists of him rotating his shoulders.

Rmvf9vbr o

I just said that there's no need to worry about ambushes, but I'm still paranoid. So he guards her.

X9qqzr0v oBswvc9m6 o

1w4wvxim oSame goes for the enemy, too. Let's try to keep it that way. And keep your voice down. Don't want them to hear us.

Tfbrqtl3 o

Ah! Reinforcements! And they can see Sherpa, too!

Sgpes01z o

Well, that is easily remedied.

Rdsfeeas o

Hah! The poor fool bumped into Aegina.

P4prihd4 o

Her damage is underwhelming at the start, but just wait till she gets her personal orb and some magic. Speaking of, no, the liquid magic item I'm aiming for at the atelier is not for her. She'll have to muster up her own power.

67mlc2e2 o

You know I'm a huge sucker for magic, so here, have a gif. Even the basic wind tome, man. Even that is visually amazing. Take notes, FE.

Rggbue51 o

ACK! A SECOND ENEMY!

Hdwimqrf oHaamsnqb o

Foo...

0t5zmier oQqaecnjj o

Run, girl, run! Let Sherpa deal with the brunt of the enemy.

Flgkdc09 oWl820rmy o

Goddangit, Sherpa...

Cbixgymu oCkmwf6sm oT6kiepxq o

Oh, right, you have Counter. Deleted!

1kmmife4 oOis99rxs o

Next turn will be it.

Qsbh2aqc oQiwfwz23 o

Aaaaaand deleted! Hahah... that's the Sherpa experience for you.

Mrwmynql o

I tried to make a funny gif, but I'm afraid he's, uh, not quite as graceful as...

Pectehmf o

Yoda.

Egbvjjyb oJdhtvi4z o

Oki-dokie, turn 5 and we're already there. No enemies in the vicinity - the time is ripe. Let us do this!

Dbjhhsyk o

Rkdow2fs oRosalie! You made it safely to Navaron?

Vxqntpa3 oYes, Your Highness! I happened across Lord Reese of Sinon, who has come to your aid!

Rkdow2fs oL-Lord Reese is here?!

9qk5ifz8 o Uh, no, he is not. And you'll be disappointed to know that he thinks of you as "my father's friend's daughter."

Vxqntpa3 oYes, milady...

Lgjkwhcy o What do you mean, "yes milady"? Reese ain't here! And neither is his army, but even when they arrive, he still won't be here, because he hasn't bothered to come out here with Ward!

Vxqntpa3 oIs something the matter?

Rkdow2fs oAh, no... Nothing at all...

Hy0faxqr o

Rkdow2fs oPlease ask the Knights of Sinon if they could help me retrieve it from the fortress where I was held.

Vxqntpa3 oI will do so, milady! They are very kind people, so I am certain they will help you!

Koa6vcqv o

Aha! Well, it was a good run, Sherpa, but I am afraid a unit greater even than you has arrived to steal your thunder...

T2nmvzat o

Yes! Derrick! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeahh! It's Derrick, who is... currently invading Aegina's personal space? Wha...?

Rkdow2fs oE-Eeeeeek! A-An enemy!? An ambush! Rosalie, how could you...!

Q1mgvbsq o..., .... ....! . ..... .. .... ... .... .... .... .. ... .. .... ......!

Rkdow2fs oW-Why won't you speak!? Why won't you attack!? Fight me, you coward!

1w4wvxim oI don't think he's out to get you, Princess. But I think he may be smitten by your beauty, 'cause he seems to have been rendered speechless... Or maybe he's just surprised to see a frail little girl all the way out here?

Rkdow2fs oYou damnable...! How dare you suggest such a thing? Get yourself down here at once and aid the knights to recapture my father's orb!

1w4wvxim oAll right, all right, I'm coming... be careful there, knight. She's got a thunderous temper. Not sure if you could handle that.

Rkdow2fs oHmph...! Less talking, more walking!

1w4wvxim oI'm not walking, Princess, I'm climbing down this cliff. You, on the other hand, nearly tumbled down...

Rkdow2fs oWill you stop speaking already!?

Q1mgvbsq o.... .... . ...... ...... .... ...

F4hvpjey o

Ah! An enemy!

Njv7wp0n o

Anyway, here's Derrick! And friends. But Derrick is the important one.

Miqpnz0l o

Derrick will lead the charge!

Rque3sgm o

He will proceed to fall behind because knight. But hey. It wouldn't be the same without him having led the first few steps.

0xsocf8q o

The enemy went after Ruby, after she advanced.

4acpdy2y o

She was hit.

Ltraeijd o

Would you believe people say that she's got difficulties leveling up her shield skill? I'm more worried about her weapon skills at this point!

Bdwmmurm oUesom2oq oLk06wrn0 o

Adel attacks and then charges forward. He does not have Leon to help him with his accuracy, but he does an all right job of it nonetheless.

Lcsxejko oM4nbxska o

See?

Ijmpefwu o

This is what Faramir looks like. Pretty awesome, but I don't think I'll do this.

Efz75dn3 o

Instead...

P01ettam o

Yes! Derrick can do it! Uh, unless he uses his shield. Then I'm shit outta luck. But I believe in Derrick!

By the way, that is one badass armor sprite. Like, he looks legitimately threatening.

U82x5vrg o

He has the "slow walk of death" that knights did back in Kaga's era.

Nmvpuwdc o

Then he slowly raises his axe over his head, and...

Entvjmer o

Q1mgvbsq o...., . ......!

X2ifr1qx o

Ahhh, yes... Derrick, if nothing else, is extremely satisfying to watch. Everything plinks off of him. I know this is a common occurence in FE, but in this game, you'll mostly only see the likes of Clifford and Ward do it. At least this early on.

If he didn't have like -15 AS, he would be able to double everything, but alas...

Vipggc1q oXazkyqa1 o

Anyway, two more dummies decide it's a good idea to attack Adel.

Zbkkabvo oG0l2yicq oGa20u9g1 o

No sword level.

T8azhpkr o

Okay, then. Enemies coming from the fort, as expected. The observant reader may've noticed, back when I presented the full map, that there's a bag on the western side of the map.

Hjph5vbz o

Faramir can handle it.

Jaghucxq o

Ah! Enemies! I knew it was a good call to send him.

Znqdtrty o

That looks like a kill for Aegina to me.

Dtf5oawp oI04gsjiq o

Awesome! Good job, girl!

Xyydobfh o

Ahah... you picked the wrong fight, pal!

Quvcbhsu o

He steps back to dodge. In total, it must be like 3 frames of animation. Expect me to miss it every time. I mean, I miss all the popups that stay onscreen for five seconds...

Hhwtknay oYpcqbulm o

His swing is pretty hilarious. He does this, basically. The second one, obviously. Couldn't get the timer to match up perfectly.

Sgyd2a4p oPtwubxho o

Let's throw a pilum.

Eju5wva9 o

The pilum has missed its mark. I repeat, the pilum has missed its mark.

O3ihwktw o

Oho! Not sure why everyone insists on learning by failing, but sure, whatever tickles your fancy and gets you those sweet, sweet 19 spear points you need to promote.

Dhltyewv o

I think that's one of his dodging frames. Not sure.

Bcjlnx1r o4xdtapgr o

I like how he has his off-hand on his hip while slashing. He'll murder you dead, but he'll look fabulous while doing so.

Raqeetky o

Don't look so fabulous right now, though.

...What is going on in this frame? Is that... a sword-dick!? Two sword-dicks!?!

What a positively disturbing frame... Well, you know what this calls for - that's right, another tired, dead running joke whose decomposing corpse I've been kicking since its inception!

Za0kk8o4 o

This will get old when I say it's gotten old!

N8zm7xcw oT91pjtw7 o

Anyhow. Arthur hurries onward.

Tlhdp9yh o

Come the next turn, Sylvis quickly sets up an ambush. Those two will no doubt try to attack her.

Tuyn2kt8 o

Or not. Maybe they'll just be idiots instead.

Zrinx6u4 oT5vilgmx o

All of this guy's frames are hilarious.

Hwsu41eo o

Ah, now there's a far smarter man!

7dbhlmdc oEk54qecz o

Hahahahahahahah! Ahahahahahahahah!

Enmysbhv o

Hahahah-- oh, you son of a fucking b-- how the hell do I manage to miss all of the goddamned popups in the cocksucking game?!

1nz4s9ak o

Anyway, loot. Loot, I can understand.

Hi46gxtc o

This is 3 HP. If it seems bad, that's because it is. Statboosters in general are lame in this game, except the one that is critical for a unit's development.

You know the lamest one, though? The speed one. On top of speed being bleh in this game, you know how you get it? You purchase the coffers from Jonathan. A single point of speed that costs like 28 grand. Amazing.

Ho2fcnzb oMop54uby o

Hoo, no! Ruby! Heal up, heal up...

X8uc54ge oBpq3zdgu o

Thanks.

Mfefh5da oY1mx7min o

Phew... could've been bad. I like how the thrown spear changes to fit the one in the thrower's hands. Nice attention to detail.

Llzivgpn o

Might as well try a capture, for the sweet ransom cash.

M6ulujly o

No dice.

Shustwwn o1xc6hrhy o

...gah! A crossbowman! Please die.

6qtvtvf0 o

But first, let's set up this guy's fall.

P0xdiaor oKydu5guf o

Sigh... see, this is the annoying thing about wind magic. Since each separate blast has to hit, more often than not one of them will miss and you'll be inmensely frustrated.

L1krsv7d o

Derrick, please succeed where she failed.

Gsow9yfc o

Yes! Derrick!

Ghxytklw o

You know, my friend who reads Berserk said that there aren't that many similarities between the designs of Sherpa and Berserk's protagonist. I beg to differ.

J7i4k0pu oY2piy8fb o

Anyway, he deletes the guy.

Fnix7mc7 o

It was at this point that I realized I'd deployed Adel without a shield. Why? Because I am a genius, that is why.

Qtkzju46 oXhnd3szy o

Well, perhaps he'll be able to Vantage the crossbowman with the pilum? No, wait, I'm fairly certain that does not work... ah, whatever. We'll see.

Wtjo5wkx o

You know what? Screw it. Deleting time.

H8uxbji2 oLjqjowhc o

No! What!? It was supposed to be deleting time!

Xktkdryz o6fbhfhyz o

Oh, that's just rubbish...

Kkflmny3 oL5ixl7oe o

SHERPA

Hdpkijfa o

For fuck's sake! You'd think those two extra hits are overkill, but no! He needed each one of them!

Uzj1jnvh o

Ack! Keep that pole away from her, you...!

39kzituv o

Ah, she remains untouched. Thank goodness.

......

6h6dtees o

Oh my-- Sherpa's getting his ass kicked? Sherpa!?

Oe3oq7wu o

He dodged with the no-avoid sword. Good.

Bexwphzg oS4k6ytrl o

Aaaaaaaaaaand there we go. There's the blunder. Why in the world would I do this? There was literally no reason to use the pilum instead of the iron spear!

9zpnq7fj o5e9bccrh o

Thankfully, it worked in my favor, but it might very well not've. And then what, Ruben? Then what?

Citvogjf oW47f9uml o

Oh, please... and then this guy attacks him and he can't retaliate because I used up the last pilum unnecessarily!

O8zd0oaq o

Hmmmm... well, it is worth a shot, at least! Helps that it's a completely safe shot.

1sdnbjps oJqvsmied o

Perfect! I knew I could count on you, Ruby!

De9xdkhz o

Awesome! Sword and spear, sword and spear, sword and spear...

Uhfqd0x5 o

Did you know that her shield growth is the lowest of her three WpSkill growths at 60%? Her sword level is 90%. Also, I think if I fix up her HP she'll be tankier than both Adel and Leon. I'm not complaining, really, I just... every single time, man. It's like I'm the RNGoddess's personal buffoon, and my bizarre units are my company of jesters.

Xyfh8ryj oRktrc457 o

Thanks to Ruby's success, I can now focus on the next guy.

Dafkksdb o

Meanwhile, Aegina finishes the fool who attacked Sylvis.

Qo274d3s o06xg9rs6 o

Heheheheheh... ahhh, I've missed you, Aegina. But at least you're not the other mage. I swear, that guy misses every single time I need him to hit really badly.

5q8yih0i o

Eh, that's not bad. Just because I don't mind if you don't get to promote doesn't mean I don't want you to promote. It'd be nice, so please, do your best.

Bdtqjckh oPergedux o

Guess it's up to Sylvis to do everything right, like always.

Odlxehzx oOmtktglw o

There. Have some experience. It's not too much of a waste, anyway. Aegina badly needs stats, but Sylvis has a paralogue, so the sooner she gets to level 10, the better.

Idzznkmn o

Faramir climbs up the hill to rendezvous with the team.

T9wwmc8i o

That guy in front of Adel's a reinforcement. That's why he "moved" before us.

Vpcjkycc oKjx6idzi o

He'll get to watch his pal die.

Tpqc9wcg oHcm0ikeq o

Hoah!

Qwkwprhx o

Damnable archer... I'll deal with you in due time.

Sqcvohbf o

But first... Yes! Derrick is leading again!

8euhc9sr o

Ohohohohohohoh! Is this Derrick's first kill that I am witnessing?

Poje5nxy oSqqmdmcw o

Come now, my friend! Show these skeptical readers that you are the greatest!

Jwzslbur oRqijiynp o

Yeahahahahahah! The first kill of many, I can only hope!

Eva4ltau o

Faramir will attempt to shoot back at the cheeky archer next turn. He can't reach just yet.

Zm8dpjkg oO5m1b8px o

If Sylvis doesn't make it back first, that is.

17vdfpxo oKci6oxgw o

Oh look. It's the thing that's been happening all game long.

Qf2fbfuv o

I've got to hand it to you, Adel. I'm going to miss this when you start falling off.

1s9zmswm o

Anyway, let's go. Faramir is just one point short of killing the archer with his strongest combination of bow and arrows. Oh, well, too bad.

Fovm0fbu o

That bow sure is huge. It'll be particularly funny when I have him use the shortbow he's holding onto.

2uvpv6kp o73fjunxo oMvunkixt o

Faramir is one dramatic boy with his bow. Has to turn his back to the player and everything.

Rvrieu26 o

Poom!

Cm8ojjdw o9mhptjxm o

Pah! Dude!

Ndzduifp o

All right, Adel. One last strike, and you're getting outta there.

Q630vbdo oIupfxrpa o

Excelente.

Fwmmgxzx oZghovooa oUtiu4oee o

And just like that, Arturo does the foul deed.

Ua7umwq1 o

Yes! Derrick! Surrender or die, gate!

Dqxymsrr o

Death it is, then...!

K8ft7iac o0iio7hcx o

Next turn will be it. I could've brought Czene to open the gate, but there's no need, and she would've been far too exposed there.

0gtvgtht oTlx6axzs o

That was it for the previous turn. Might as well use Deadeye, since Sylvis couldn't make it close enough to aim. If she fails, Faramir can do it instead.

Crikiebn oSyzhogn6 o

I mean, it's worth a shot.

Itq5is3c oJgcbvma5 o

Ahhhhhhhhhh, Sylvis... you never fail to impress! Quite the sight you make, when you're making all of my other units look bad...

Lwhjwije oU6pn3yok o

And thus, with Faramir's help...

Plc3bx1f oXa3e7lfw o

Derrick is victorious over the pesky gate!

Xhmayzkh o

It opens unceremoniously after that beating. Gonna guess they just smashed the lock? But why would there be a lock on a fort gate... I mean, there has to be a lock, Czene could picklock this gate! What gives?

Jtkvwvfc o

Oh hai Hamilton. Funny to see you here. There's four variants of this armor generic, but they used the same one for two bosses in quick succession. Okay, Kaga, as you wish.

Yh3up8hy o

Lennox is Hamilton but he can't move. Maybe the portrait reuse makes more sense than I originally gave it credit for.

Gqqco5xj o9lmuasnp o

Derrick will lead the way gloriously into the fort!

R1kti9pk oX8ovm7bi oJzrhxqk7 o

Hwahah! Derrick is invincible!

Nqx1hnr2 oHssue3g2 o

A futile effort!

Hxwy9lby o2swjfwfg o

Derrick is too much fun to use, I swear. A bad unit shouldn't be allowed to be this much fun, but Berwick Saga doesn't play by the rules. Mainly because if it did, Ninty would've sued again. That's the real reason behind, like, all of this game's unique quirks.

Oocuokci oApy2v4g6 o

Before I move any of the squishies ahead, let us inspect the fort. Seems empty save for Lennox.

Iszcjgvz o

In that case, let us start.

Hs45poaf o

Well, with any luck, we will all make it out of here alive. You included!

Nzoxwkl2 o

Why, yes. I'm going to try to capture this guy. As with Gariad, this'll take me countless turns and will probably result in failure.

Vrkbirxl o

Especially since the bastard can just shield himself and take no damage.

Ldftjxqh oX4jpovny o

Cool!

Ycgywgeu o

Before the turn's end, I parked Ruby next to Lennox with the harpoon.

Lrf4sqv7 o

Don't worry. If you do the math, this is completely safe.

2ip32yw6 oX7fjamu7 o

Good thing, too.

Doxwnhc7 o

More? More! She gets more S Shield skill, but then she uses her spear a million times and gets no points even though the growth is, like, 20% higher!

Wxwndg9i oHby4wu4y o

Well, that was a complete failure.

Weyv77pa o

Oh my goodness... she's beyond blessed in this one stat! Keep at it, girl, but... please spare some luck for the other weapon skills?

Fxqwhfzx o

...gaaah! I do not trust this one foggy square, I really don't! Faramir, check it out before Ruby gets jumped by a rando and dies.

Bn2kicpi o

Okay, thanks.

0iuocxln o

Well, I mean... I think you can all guess where this is going. So, allow me to just... skip ahead...

Fbeaudwr oDsvd9j3a oXxx9ubml o

Arthur gets three M Shield points while fighting Lennox. That's enough to reach the first of his three promotion thresholds, 10 M shield. Right on!

57w3fcvv o716xl5xg o

Gee, that sure seems painless when you don't show all the other fights.

M9kyckr1 oLlpzqk7h o

Apparently Faramir shot the lights.

Aceicroq o

That is a hilarious dodge. He looks like he's dancing! Really uncomfortably dancing!

2dukowny oOp0p9j1j o4ql1yjcc oAsac5383 o

Okay, Sylvis, you do it! Can I hope for another one of your random-ass cripplings?

M0uxocvl o

No, of course not...

9f3x0824 oMqo4h9e4 oOrsyywjk o

He equipped back the shield the next turn, but it broke immediately. That's how long I'd been whacking him with Flourish before it worked.

6z8zrqpg oFiaxtsln o

Okay, and now... for the decisive blow!

Ssyag2a4 o

Yes! Derrick!

Hxikh45d o

...Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Why does nothing ever go my way!? Whyyyyyy...!?

Zg6gl7qy o

Okay then, fuck it. Derrick takes the bosskill.

Mc8rg9wa o

Why won't you fools ever surrender... Disaad really was the greatest mind in the Raze Empire.

Kk9cpuyp o

Now, hold your breath, folks, for we are about to see the turncount.

Ppwf4zii o

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, yes! I love this game's capture system, I really do. The one friggin' flaw... but at least this goes to prove my integrity as an ironmanner. I could've just as easily savescummed that and pretended I didn't. Aren't I just the bestest LPer ever?

Aca8rset o

Derrick, being the protagonist of the chapter, seizes.

Dmpujau0 o
 
 
Uy7kcpjy o

Rkdow2fs oPallas Riana...! We actually found it!

1w4wvxim oIt wasn't easy, but I'm glad we were able to get it back for you.

Rkdow2fs oSherpa... Thank you ever so much for helping me through all of this.

1w4wvxim oHow uncharacteristically nice of you to say, Princess. No problem. But it looks like my job's done. Guess we can part ways here.

Rkdow2fs oWhere will you go from here, Sherpa?

1w4wvxim oHaven't decided for sure yet, but I was thinking of finding work in Navaron, since we're in the area.

3twavrgc o

Txzubig9 o Bwahah! Smooth moves, man. And you've got it easy - you don't need to wink, because that is the permanent state of your face!

Rkdow2fs oHow rude, you knave! I have my pride as a woman!

9qk5ifz8 oJust about the reaction I expected.

Vxqntpa3 oMilady, I believe Sherpa was simply making a joke... Sherpa, thank you for protecting the two of us so diligently.

0deahzkj o

Txzubig9 oAhahahahah! Wow, now that one I was not expecting!

1w4wvxim oHa ha ha... Always the lively one, eh, missy?

Kwj9pif6 o

Regardless, there's our legendary orb. We'll check it out next update.

Speaking of updates, that'd be all this one has to offer! Next time, a new sidequest. It's... a bit less remarkable, but it'll mark the beginning of a certain character's arc, so look forward to that, at least! Till then, I wish you all the best of farewells. Adios!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To be continued

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban


* Unavailable

Capture count: 0

Reset count: 0

 

Current perfect streak: 1 map

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jesus, a mine, a creek, medieval weapons... all I have are old toy cars, bells, an ancient radio and a fancy clock in my room!

Remembering I only know the mine's owner... and have never been anywhere near it because that'd require going out to some god-forsaken region.

15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A bad unit, too? Oh, yes...!

I mean, a character that's basically a fighter... but with less strength growth than all but six cast members in Birthright. She shares her 25% growth with Shura and Yukimura. She beats out Setsuna, Felicia, Orochi and Izana. If you want to be generous base Rhajat as well. Noting that barring Setsuna, those units all are best used with magic... and Rinkah's even worse with that at 15%... yeah. That said.. her defense growth is a stellar 45%, the highest any base defense gets in Birthright. So, yeah. Probably right up your ally for tanking at least. That said, you'd be lucky to have her doing the offensive job her class implies.

27 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahah, I'm glad this has come out of my characterization of Valery. Damnable rascal...

Although, I must say, he has my full support if he wants to have Volcens executed.

Well, its only natural the embodiment of greed would want everything, including the throne... and to eliminate those that stand in his way. You don't have to be noble or heroic to hate Volcens. You just have to deal with him.

31 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I have no idea what either of those things are. The only time I've played a Final Fantasy, it was VI, but I dropped it shortly after meeting the, uh... the blond guy? Was he a prince? I can't remember... the desert palace? How far into the game even was that?

Edgar. Barely into the game. I think there's one boss and one tutorial boss before that. Also a walk to the desert.

37 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I've heard about him, the fabled Sniper final boss. Gotta hand it to them, that is extremely unique.

He also had a degree of difficulty to him, mostly from the map design. Mind, relative compared to other final bosses... like the much mocked Formortiis.

41 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...I'm worried about Ike in RD, to be honest. I've heard tales about how he takes over the story and becomes the center of the universe, and that might just suffice to make me despise him.

Not to mention he just Navarre's out in his ending.

42 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahahahahahah... poor Erzie. Judged, much like his friend from Tellius, Oliver.

Oh don't put him in the same category as Oliver. His keeping living beings as prisoners is literally watered down Slaver to me.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
On 4/27/2020 at 9:41 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Glare-rick.

Hyoa3gwx o

 

Glare-rick isn't real, he can't harm you.
Glare-rick:
Hyoa3gwx o

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Mrwmynql o

I tried to make a funny gif, but I'm afraid he's, uh, not quite as graceful as...

Reminds me of Roy's neutral b in smash for some reason. Maybe it's the that pink glow effect.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Q1mgvbsq o..., .... ....! . ..... .. .... ... .... .... .... .. ... .. .... ......!

What if Derrick was like Kenny from South Park, and all his dialogue was vulgar but we didn't know it? Maybe I'm thinking too much on that Volcens joke from earlier on.

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Rque3sgm o

He will proceed to fall behind because knight. But hey. It wouldn't be the same without him having led the first few steps.

He's a highlander and he just went down a cliff with magic... does that make him immortal? (reference explained in spoiler... by video).

Spoiler

 

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:
O3ihwktw o

Oho! Not sure why everyone insists on learning by failing, but sure, whatever tickles your fancy and gets you those sweet, sweet 19 spear points you need to promote.

They're learning what not to do. Which in some ways helps more.

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Za0kk8o4 o

This will get old when I say it's gotten old!

Is it bad I missed this? So if there's Lott.exe, Zalwade, Garo (who needed no change due to sharing a name with spooky ninja ghosts in Majora's Mask), what is Sherpa? Sherpa Scissornads?

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ack! Keep that pole away from her, you...!

39kzituv o

Ah, she remains untouched. Thank goodness.

Not gonna touch the obvious joke with a ten foot pole.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Jwzslbur oRqijiynp o

Yeahahahahahah! The first kill of many, I can only hope!

Dewrecked.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Hxwy9lby o2swjfwfg o

Derrick is too much fun to use, I swear. A bad unit shouldn't be allowed to be this much fun, but Berwick Saga doesn't play by the rules. Mainly because if it did, Ninty would've sued again. That's the real reason behind, like, all of this game's unique quirks.

When you realize everything you love about this game is because of an attempt to avoid a lawsuit. Ironically, it took both Kaga and Nintendo to make your favourite Fire Emblem/Kagasaga. Even if neither quite planned it that way. Who knew lawsuits could be so much fun?

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Mc8rg9wa o

Why won't you fools ever surrender... Disaad really was the greatest mind in the Raze Empire.

We memed it so hard it became true.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rkdow2fs oHow rude, you knave! I have my pride as a woman!

9qk5ifz8 oJust about the reaction I expected.

She kind of reminds me of Serra for some reason. Maybe it's the fact she's a magic user who is hard to get along with and has pink(ish) hair. Unlike Serra though, she's not a total caricature. Come to think of it, Serra lied to Florina about being a princess who was left in an orphanage... this is an orphaned princess... and Rosalie does look like Florina. Huh. Surely a coincidence. No crackpot theory for this. Unless @Benice talks you into doing a pseudo-crossover with his own LP.

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4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Could be better, but hey. It's still a hack that has Berwick Saga and Luigi. Seems made for me, right?

...sadly, everything else about it kinda displeases me. Not saying it's not an admirable effort, but I don't think I'd enjoy it that much.

I agree. It has questionable writing and it's really easy to break but the maps look good atleast. It was made by just one person, so I won't critique it very harshly.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I have no idea what either of those things are. The only time I've played a Final Fantasy, it was VI, but I dropped it shortly after meeting the, uh... the blond guy? Was he a prince? I can't remember... the desert palace? How far into the game even was that?

Well shucks.
By your description you met Edgar, prince of Figaro. It was the palace into the desert. Did you get to *that* cutscene in the desert palace? Well if you don't know which then I'll just keep it as a surprise because it's a very fun cutscene.

That was like 30 minutes into the game, it took me like an hour when i first played it but regardless it's still very early into it.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ohohohohohohohoho... if this makes you mad, wait until you see Roy. Roy spends the entire fucking game speaking like this. Coupled with the fact that Merlinus is the guy he's talking to half the time, it just makes FE6's story difficult to stomach.

Atleast Roy has the excuse of being a curious kid, not that it makes reading the story any better. But yeah, I definitely wish other characters were expanded more on in FE6.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah! Do not speak that name in my presence! It is forbidden!

:) -> :0 "tri jauses"
 

Spoiler
67mlc2e2 o

You know I'm a huge sucker for magic, so here, have a gif. Even the basic wind tome, man. Even that is visually amazing. Take notes, FE.

Looks incredible, I love it.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Mrwmynql o

I tried to make a funny gif, but I'm afraid he's, uh, not quite as graceful as...

Pectehmf o

Yoda.

Lmao.... that's absolutely hilarious.

 

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Rque3sgm o

He will proceed to fall behind because knight. But hey. It wouldn't be the same without him having led the first few steps.

This is effectively a participation award lol.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

His swing is pretty hilarious. He does this, basically. The second one, obviously. Couldn't get the timer to match up perfectly.

Ahh those swings are always so much fun to watch...

Quote
Za0kk8o4 o

This will get old when I say it's gotten old!

This is my first time seeing this and it's already as old as your reflexes.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahah-- oh, you son of a fucking b-- how the hell do I manage to miss all of the goddamned popups in the cocksucking game?!

"Blistering barnacles!"

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Aceicroq o

That is a hilarious dodge. He looks like he's dancing! Really uncomfortably dancing!

It really does! LOL

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5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jeez, man! I'm so sorry...

You can help by donating to my Don'tFundMe to help stop mistreatment of Benices everywhere.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah! A kid! In my thread!? But my highly intelectual dissertations and profound, subtle humor are only meant to appeal to the elite of humankind! It's the only way for filthy elitist scum such as myself!

...let's ignore the fact that, if my guess is correct, I'm younger than 75% of the people who regularly reply...

I'm more of the eLeet of humankind than elite.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Preach, blistering barnacles!

TEN THOUSAND THUNDERING TYPHOONS IN A SEA OF BILLIOUS BLISTERING BLUE BARNACLES, READ THE TINTIN SERIES!

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh yeah, Wolff.

  Hide contents

I've never been the kind to cry with fiction. I'll be saddened by sad things, don't get me wrong, but full-on crying isn't something that tends to happen to me. Even so, might be because I was a small child back then, but Wolff's fate had me crying rivers. One of the best-written, most mature characters in the entire series.

Interestingly enough, Wolff's final note was originally much more direct and brutal, but if I recall correctly, Herge was forced to change it due to complaints that it was too much. The man was never happy with the second version, but personally, I think it benefitted from being more subtle, and the message wasn't any less obvious for it.

Like, false hope of a miracle is a perfectly believable thing for a guy to desperately cling onto as he jumps into space to give everyone else a chance to survive.

R.I.P Wolff. I also had no idea that the other bad guy in the novel was called Jordan. I knew he was in King Ottokar's Scepter, but I totally forgot his name.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No dude, I can't play birthright. It may have Rinkah, but where's the M A P   D E S I G N ?

They must have realized that their map design was on the bRinkah of disaster, so they decided to make conquest instead but forgot to hire a writer.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...I'm worried about Ike in RD, to be honest. I've heard tales about how he takes over the story and becomes the center of the universe, and that might just suffice to make me despise him.

I quite liked RD's switching perspectives, but I do think Ike was a little too much the focus of the story IMO. You probably already know this, but TRAIN IKE! The game will be impossible to finish if you don't. Literally.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know I'm a huge sucker for magic, so here, have a gif. Even the basic wind tome, man. Even that is visually amazing. Take notes, FE.

I do love the magic animations in this game, but OH MY GOOD GRAVY GOSH GAWD THE DARKMEND ANIMATION IS SLOW. The light animations are too, but at least the map animations are fast.

2 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

 Unless @Benice talks you into doing a pseudo-crossover with his own LP.

Cursed.

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