screenshot lp The League shall fall if I'm in control - A bad tactician plays Berwick Saga, Ironman mode!

Golb89 · June 3, 2020

16 hours ago, BrightBow said:

He was just beaten half dead. No surprise he would try to bail out after that.

Good point i guess...

(It still doesn't explain why he didn't just go back from the way he came though)

Edited June 3, 2020 by Golb89

Saint Rubenio · June 4, 2020

Part 31 - Adel Casanova.

I've long since:

Spoiler

On 6/1/2020 at 10:59 PM, Pengaius said:

Should have Czene that coming.

A thousand curses upon you, Butterman...!

He's paying the “protection fee" most likely.

That's what I thought, too. Why else would they make Ward list off all of Zaiath's crimes? It was a hint to the fact that Valery is crooked.

On 6/2/2020 at 12:26 AM, Benice said:

Bruh, my Nolan gained six HP, three skill and one res in eight levels for me.

Too bad. My Nolan was my best unit!

Ha! My Aran ORKO'd Ike in 13-3!

Whoa, that's amazing! I resorted to the classic Luna Tauroneo strategy. That was the one time in the entire game where one of the tier 3 skills was even slightly useful and more than a glorified crit with a longer animation.

Seriously, every time Titania procced Sol I rolled my eyes because it just meant five more seconds of Ike chapter.

Hey, plenty of artists made money from deranged faces. Take Edvard Munch, for example.

That much is true. But I don't think editing existing art slightly comes even close to comparing to Munch's work. I'm pretty bad at drawing otherwise.

Disgusting. Early promotion + Only letting her use swords despite her 11> strength = Pwnage incarnate. It made part 4 a lot harder.

Well, I didn't really care much for her, to be honest. In PoR I dropped her for Rhys.

No! NO! DON'T DO IT! OR BRING DEAN IF YOU DO AT THE VERY LEAST!

If only I'd known.

...Wait, why Dean? I have never used Dean! What use would a base Dean be here?

Good luck!

Psch...

NO!!! YOU- ARRGH! NONONONONONO!

Yeah. I completely understand, that is exactly how I reacted myself.

The Czene experience.

The Czene experience isn't losing Czene because you're a complete moron. That's the Ruben experience.

But never fear! I have some more memes!

Reveal hidden contents

Goddamnit, the Harold meme... fuck

On 6/2/2020 at 1:26 AM, Daysi said:

Hi I'm Daysi.

Ahahahahahahahah... I was hoping this would come up.

...wait! You actually changed your name for that!? You absolute madman! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah... I can't believe it took me a full day to notice that!

So look, I could have used them if I decided to grind them off the Izuka map.

I could actually test that right now if I wanted to put hours in.

I didn't need to do that, actually. They held their own for the entire game.

Somehow, I do not.

Plus I had a godly Boyd and bows weren't that important in that first run.

I never used Boyd. I don't like him that much, he's boring.

Also to be fair, I think of the nobles only Caineghis and Tibarn fought Dheginsea.

That's already more than I had. I only brought Naesala to the tower.

You know what, I'll give you some 3H gimmies (Happens to be a spoiler in the second image, so yeah).

Reveal hidden contents

(This is handheld, but still. The first is me just taking advantage of monastery horses having noclip and the other is an example of the model going a bit haywire. Considering Koei Tecmo look to have done that stuff I can pin it on them.)

I think my personal favorite was sprinting toward the chapel gate while the area was still loading. Byleth would run his head against the gate for a few seconds... and then phase through it, because it rose too slowly when the area finally loaded.

...I'll admit it, though: as much as I crap on the game, it's a game that I occassionally feel the temptation to return to. FE9 or Echoes, for example, I haven't the slightest desire to ever again touch them with a 10-foot pole, but Three Houses had just enough things that I enjoyed... characters that I liked, a story that I enjoyed, even fun mechanics. To the point where I'm considering if I might not've been a bit too unfair with it due to my rage after Reunion At Dawn. It's currently below Echoes in my FE tier list, and I really don't think it deserves to be.

It's just a shame about all the other things that make me relunctant to try it again. Like the fact that you spend hours trying to get to the next chapter. That ain't so much fun.

The twist will be he doesn't have the ability to deal with anything else.

Haha, yeah. That's what I'd like.

I mean, Derrick could go ".... ... ......" and then Adel could go CHARGE

Derrick needs to aides. He can lead all by himself.

KAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Yeah, not gonna lie, this whole chapter's had me screaming Kaga's name a lot.

......................

That is cryptic.

You can say that again.

You can put blame on yourself,

Only because by all rights I should've known about this. Throwing powerful enemies on you for opening an unrelated chest is still really dumb, and even I cannot argue to the contrary.

but why would Krishna not leave the way he came?

That's also dumb. Would've made it harder to kill him before he left, but wasn't that the point? To make the bounty difficult to get? Why does he go north and into a stupid fuckin' hole? If the hole was visually open to the outside, I would've been fine with it - but no, it's completely closed off! Krishna literally fades away when he makes it there! And then there's the stupid maidens rushing toward the three pirate reinforcements... all in all, not a very good Berwick map. Tch... I'll have to lower my rating of the game to 9.99/10. Possibly.

Also, I need no reminders of how my postgrad went. I have not been able to convince myself to write code since. Which is a shame because I've been having some idea towards actually working on a pipe dream.

Ahhhh, good ol' education. It ruins everything it touches in exchange for a paper that you use to get a job.

Don't say that, Axel's now in danger.

Axel's been in danger since the day I decided he's my favorite character.

Well fuck, thief on a horse sounded impractical and neat.

Impractical? It's awesome!

Come to think of it, is this where Krishna's clone went to, only to have a family and her descendant shared her name?

That's an interesting theory.

Come on then, you pansy.

That face does not match the badassery. Seriously, I can't get over that. He looks like he should be attending elementary school, not singlehandedly defending river banks.

Saint Rubenio's LPs in two images.

FiFy

RIP Nima, I have to respect his moxie and how he held you up.

I think I'm missing something here.

Honestly? You seem like you'd prefer luck.

Frankly, luck would've been more useful than speed on the guy with -15 AS. But Derrick getting speed is hilarious enough that I can forgive him for it.

#Justberwickthings

#PleaseTeachMeHowToFE

On 6/2/2020 at 1:28 AM, eclipse said:

Are you gonna put Arnold down as unrecruitable?

Hah! That would've been fun, but no. There are characters worthier of the Zieg treatment.

Anyway. . .to the rest of the topic. . .

LARGE IMAGES IN SPOILER TAGS.

Ah... are you talking about the Nolan image? Yeah, that was kinda big, wasn't it... next time I'll put it in spoilers, don't worry.

...wait, "rest of the topic"... you're talking to everyone else but me, aren't you? Yeah, come to think about it, I should probably stop doing things to make my updates stand out less among all the replies.

On 6/2/2020 at 8:57 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Also my favorite unit from this game (and consequentially Tellius). So it's good to see him doing so well.

My favorite character in Tellius is Pelleas, but Nolan definitely takes the "favorite unit" trophy.

I pretty much implicated my thoughts on it myself. Given I did say about the effects on the rest of the game.

Yeah, of course.

1/16th Irish on my mother's side. The fact is, I can't say I'm very pure on any given European ethnicity because quite a bit of mixed bloodlines. There's French, English, German, both Scottish and the aforementioned Irish as well. Probably some Italian given the border town the French line originated in. I mean, it's confusing, but knowing there's so many bloodlines from so many countries also means I know the odds I'm inbred are far lower.

Well, you never know. Ultimately, we all descend from the same ameba, don't we?

Yes.

That game was weird. It seemed like big shit when it came out, but nowadays everyone's mostly forgotten about it.

Meanwhile my own worst enemy is corrupted save states after three days of trying to level Matthis (and three levels) due to a computer crash. Thankfully, the one I made before attempting the arena in the first place is still intact... though the idea of trying that again is a nightmare. Not that I have much choice. I couldn't hack him to the appropriate level and stats (I still have the screenshots, and it's easy to remember 3 hp, 1 strength, 1 skill, 1 speed, 1 luck and 1 def) if I wanted to because I haven't the slightest bit of understanding how any of that works.

Sheesh... I'm so sorry.

Well, you know what Mist means in German.

Missed?

So perfect for Kaga?

Absolutely. We shouldn't discard the possibility.

Shit. Well... I had been enjoying her.

That makes two of us. You and I should've known better than to get attached to characters in a Saint Rubenio LP.

Now I don't feel like making jokes.

Relatable.

On 6/3/2020 at 12:14 AM, BrightBow said:

Just thought it would be funny if Reese was about to say something super urgent when Vanmillion asked him to delay the report on the enemy commander.

There was nothing to report. I captured him. Everything went smoothly. Let's not even joke about it, otherwise, I don't know, the past might change randomly. My luck is bad enough that it may just happen.

Well, I couldn't see any other possible hiding spot in that room.

He could be hiding behind Derrick.

I would hope so, given that she is one of the few people capable of crafting magic orbs. She might well be the greatest alchemist in all of Lazberia, considering that a later conversation with Almuth heavily implies that the Raze Empire cannot actually synthesize magic orbs at all. So yeah, her haircut shouldn't have much of an impact on her price.

I like that the greatest alchemist in all of Lazberia is just chilling at some random atelier. Not that I'm saying it's a bad fate for her. Far better to be with people that truly care about her than to be in court, surrounded by the likes of Volcens, Padolf and Herman.

Well, my observation is that if an attacker cannot actually deal more damage then the defender's base defense, then the defender won't even bother using the shield.
So I suppose the reason Derrick blocked here is because the magic damage prevented the game from noticing that blocking won't actually decrease the damage here

Yeah, that's how this normally goes, as far as I can tell.

Ohhhhh, I understand.

Oh shit. Didn't remember that one. I figured you would fail to kill Krishna with this team, but also that Derrick and Marcel could at least keep everyone save.

Hey! Don't diss the team! They could've done it... Owen would've nailed it sometime, I'm sure of it! If only Krishna hadn't been ~~smarter than me~~ a coward...!

Well, here we go again.

In my defense, this time I truly had no way of knowing Krishna went that way, since I had killed him in both of my previous runs.

That's a matter of perspective, really.
Although with what little punch this team packs, the odds of actually killing him were probably minuscule either way. So the only chance for Czerne's survival were... well, for her to go anywhere else, really.

To be honest, I had the worst sinking feeling that he'd go to where she was. Of course, I was also terrified of him killing her if I moved her, so... well, it was a terrible situation either way.

Yeah, those guys are fun.

Thanks, Kaga.

Lord Rubman strikes another blow to the Sinnon Knights.

Stop comparing me to Herman! My nose isn't nearly big enough! And besides, I--

......

Ahhhh, I brought this on myself, didn't I...

Owen is such a great healer.

Hush, you. This is entirely my fault for taking too long.

Judging by your inventory previously, your Vantage user is not carrying Iron Spears to maximize the chance that those Vantage strikes actually hit.

Should that really come as a surprise, given that just a bit earlier in the update I failed to give the Throw user pilums?

Reveal hidden contents

Yes. Yes they were.

Wait, what?

Yar - Har - fiddle - dee-dee! Being a pirate is all right with me! Do what you want'cause a pirate is free! You are a pirate!

Wait! Stop! Where are you going? Ah, crap...

We'll dig up the box! We know it's full of precious booty! Bust open the locks, and we'll say "HOORAY!"

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah...

Robbie was such a treasure, I swear.

Let's just hope we won't have any maps with a lot of Hide enemies where Larentia isn't available.

......

...Goddamnit...

On 6/3/2020 at 5:54 AM, Golb89 said:

[Edits]

[Added a couple of links that i couldn't add before because i was unable to edit my post anymore and noone else posted anything until your latest update]

Well, that's all right.

[Addendums]

Habemus Beagle!

Why do they all look like such a mismatch of random character designs? It's like the only tip the designers get is "we need X number of anime girls."

Cool quotes, I guess?

Amateur:

No, that is not how you use bandages.

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/79776338

What's wrong with her hand?!

[Replies]

Uhm...

... i'm sure you'd have been fine.

If you say so...

Maybe... but weren't you talking about PoR/RD FE there?

I can't remember, frankly.

To be brutally honest, that game has more flaws than i can count (and the list is bound to get longer thanks to its dev) but the core gameplay and story are solid enough i'm willing to overlook all of them... for now, at least (and to a certain extent that's true for Arknights too)

And yet TLP is apparently unfinished and terrible?

As a matter of fact, when i first checked GFL's tiers list (and where my favourite units stood on that list) i was ready to ragequit immediately, but i liked the gameplay so much i decided to see how far going full waifu>meta would have carried me: pretty damn far as it turned out, and by then the story had just started to get good too so...

Ah, yes. What a shame that, as much as I like to joke about it with Sylvis and all, waifus aren't a selling point for me in the slightest, no? I'm happy for you, but that's not going to get me interested on the game(s).

Actually, i could totally picture Ruby doing that to him: i wouldn't even be surprised if it actually happened in game.

Yeah? I couldn't.

(Unfortunately, that's also not possible in the actual game)

A shame.

"Etotama": the female protagonist is totally me!

Maybe.

It looks... well, you know what I'm going to say, don't you? It looks like all the others to me.

Yes.

Ah.

Kalina too, for that matter.

Dear, dear... Maybe she's related to him, somehow? Their hair colors are kinda similar.

Now that you mention it...

... yeah, definitely not.

...What's that got to do with anything, though...?

Uh...

... she isn't.

You can say whatever you want. Those look like fidget spinners.

Look again:

Ah.

[Comments]

- we are f@cked!

Well, you would have been focked, but then the pirates let the entire team through, with their weapons and all, because Adel had a bag of coins.

From this episode of this comic:

Leonidas: "Skrotos, didn't i tell you to guard this route?"

Skrotos: "Yeah, but then a guy came saying he had to deliver a pizza and i let him pass... then another one came, and then another..."

Leonidas: "So, how many did you let pass??"

Skrotos: "Roughly 3000"

Leonidas: "..."

Skrotos: "I thought someone was throwing a party!"

Those pirates just weren't all that bright.

Is she your favorite character, or what?

...your point being...?

I guess so.

To be fair (to you) the mere fact he's trying to escape after that grand speech he gave at the start makes absolutely no sense to begin with.

(Nevermind the fact he could have just turned around and escaped from where he came from instead, but then again he's part of the same gang of pirates who let 8 fully armed people enter their base undisturbed just because they were supposed to deliver some ransom money...)

Yeah, all in all it's a bit of a mess of a mission.

(Also, remember when i said GFL's night battles weren't "THAT bad"? Well, that one is the f@cking exception)

That does look kinda bad.

On second thought: f@ck you, Ruben!

Hah! If you say so, anime girl with black knives in her hair.

(She doesn't have any suitable "death quote", so get that pic taken from this instead)

About right, I suppose.

Hah!

Xerses: "Attack! Crush those spartans!"

Persian soldiers: "Ok, but what do we do with all these pizzas?"

Obviously, the answer is to chuck 'em at the enemy.

Y'know, I'm still wondering why this is all taking place in Rhodes Island.

Next time on "Rubenknights":

Dont' miss it!

Okay.

On 6/3/2020 at 7:25 AM, BrightBow said:

He was just beaten half dead. No surprise he would try to bail out after that.

I can't blame him, I would've done it too if I could've.

Besides, it's not like he knows that Ruben needs 7 more turns before he can do that move again.

Hey, Owen would've hit that thunder at some point. It was the wise move to escape.

23 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

You know... I may have been abrupt yesterday... but I liked Czene... and now I have missed the opportunity for about a doCzene puns.

Of course you'd show up again just to make a pun. That's why I like you.

Also I'm totally sleep deprived.

Go to bed, then! What are you waiting for?

13 hours ago, Golb89 said:

Good point i guess...

(It still doesn't explain why he didn't just go back from the way he came though)

If you had the power to phase through walls, wouldn't you go out of your way to use it as much as possible?

Ran out of ideas for these:

Spoiler

You can't thank me enough, Danton. Czene lost her life to return Lumiere to you. Krishna, you fuckin' bastard... I should've just revived Juliattisnacordst...!

...wait, is that a second Danton standing to the left of Halfmann? Heck, why are Halfmann and Jonathan even here? I thought they were just outsiders who were allowed to do their business at the atelier!

Tb9vqadg o Look at you, Danton! Getting all choked up...

Ilrbpdns o I'm getting choked up?! Speak for yourself, teary-eyes!

Tb9vqadg o M-Me?! Teary-eyed? I-I just came back from chopping some onions, that's all!

9qk5ifz8 o Ahahahahahah... this'd be a lot more fun if, well, Czene hadn't happened.

Biklshgy o Mr. Danton... Mr. Orlando... Everyone...

Ucqrmgfp o Yes, I am here! Now that you have returned, would you care to celebrate by purchasing some of this fine furniture? I'll give you a special discount!

Ilrbpdns o Now is not the time, Jonathan.

Biklshgy o I'm so sorry to have worried you like this...

H24blq3o o Lumiere, can I speak to you in private for a moment?

Biklshgy o Huh...? Sure...

Ucqrmgfp o Will nobody purchase my beautiful furniture?

Ilrbpdns o I'll purchase it so I can hit you over the head with it if you don't shut up!

Ucqrmgfp o You got yourself a deal, Danton. Which one would you prefer?

Ilrbpdns o ......

Biklshgy o Is that a... sack of coins?

H24blq3o o When the others heard about the ransom, they gathered up all this money to get you back... Go ahead, take a look inside.

Biklshgy o I-It's so much...

9qk5ifz8 o Let's talk real numbers. How much furniture could we purchase with that? How many Derricks could I hire?

H24blq3o o One hundred thousand denarii...

9qk5ifz8 o Hmm, that means... tch...

Lgjkwhcy o ...666.666 Derricks?! That's... one hell of a number!

Hyoa3gwx o Isn't it?

Uedfz3v4 o GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

H24blq3o o It's really heavy, isn't it? It's mostly small change, too.

H24blq3o o Everyone scrounged up every last bit of money they had and pooled it to get you back.

Biklshgy o They did that for me...? I-I can hardly believe it... Thank you, everyone...

H24blq3o o They really love you here, huh? Danton and the others... They'd never say it, but I can tell you're like family to all of them.

Lgjkwhcy o Fun fact: they do say it later down the line. Adel is talking out of his ass.

Biklshgy o Everyone...

Oohhhh, no, not at all, Ward! Difficult is not the word I'd use. Personally, I'd say it was more along the lines of catastrophic.

H24blq3o o Yes, sir.

3cxl4xfi o Adel, good work.

Lgjkwhcy o You sure, Ward? You sure? All he did was get nearly murdered twice, fail to Vantage people and get tranquilized.

3cxl4xfi o Now, the citizens will be able to--- ...Was that a knock at the door?

Ps4nmuuw o A guest from the atelier has come to pay us a visit.

3cxl4xfi o ...From the atelier? Please see them in.

Ps4nmuuw o Yes, sir.

0ajvn3og o

H24blq3o o ...Lumiere?

Biklshgy o Good afternoon, Sir Ward. I wanted to thank you in person for rescuing me from those pirates.

3cxl4xfi o I see... What is that package there?

Biklshgy o It is a gift for you, as thanks from all of us at the atelier. We couldn't have made it through this trouble if it weren't for you.

3cxl4xfi o I am simply happy to see that you are alive and well, Miss Lumiere.

Biklshgy o Still, I believe I speak for all of us at the atelier when I express my sincere gratitude to you. As a token of our appreciation for all you've done for us and our city, we want you to have this.

3cxl4xfi o I cannot accept such a gift. We were simply fulfilling our duties. Besides, it was Lord Reese's decision to send our knights to the island.

Lgjkwhcy o Now you don't want to accept gifts? You're always so willing to take things off of thankful people's hands... is it because she's a cute girl?

Slthr5ke o

H24blq3o o I agree, General Ward. It would be rude not to accept such a sincere offer of gratitude.

3cxl4xfi o Well... Perhaps you're right... Very well. I will give it to Lord Reese later.

Biklshgy o Thank you very much!

And with that, we've got a specially crafted knif--

...oh, for fuck's sake-- They're taking the piss now! A knife, really!? I've lost all but one of the game's knife users! And to add insult to injury, this is a defensive knife. Grants the Parry skill to the wielder. Thanks a lot, Lumiere. I lost Czene to get a weapon for Czene. Marvelous.

Biklshgy o Now then, Sir Adel...

H24blq3o o ...Huh?

For some reason, the two of them moved to the temple of Veria to have this conversation.

Biklshgy o This charm of yours protected me throughout the whole battle.

Lgjkwhcy o You mean the five minutes you had it for?

H24blq3o o ......

H24blq3o o ...I have a confession to make. ...That's not a good-luck charm. It's just the key to my room. It was the first thing I could come up with to help you remain calm. I'm sorry for deceiving you...

Biklshgy o Is... is that so...? To help me remain calm, you told me a lie like that?

H24blq3o o ...I did, but...

Txzubig9 o Pfffhwahahahahahahahahah... oh, man. Sorry, Adel, but you're absolutely terrible at this.

Biklshgy o ......

Biklshgy o E-Er... I'm sorry, but... If that is the case, then I cannot accept this... I will give it back to you.

H24blq3o o Ah... I'm sorry... I said something foolish...

Biklshgy o ......

6bfkinkr o

That went horrendously. Hopefully this won't go as horrendously?

Meoilxpy o What happened here, Weyl? You look as white as a sheet...

Rcymypww o I know you will not be pleased with me once you hear it, but... Several of the Imperial prisoners we had held under guard have escaped from custody.

Meoilxpy o Escaped?!

Lgjkwhcy o Yeah, escaped!? What happened to "we've never had an escapee in all the time I've been here", Weyl?

Rcymypww o ...We've made a terrible blunder, sir. I take full responsibility. We were having them work on the road through Lexa Pass

Lgjkwhcy o Oh right, they weren't here, they were working on... Wait, what...? Why were you having prisoners of war build a road?! Is this normal practice in times of war?

Rcymypww o when suddenly, a boulder fell and blocked it off! The escort guards rushed out to check on the prisoners, but...

Meoilxpy o They'd taken their chance and made a break for it, I presume?

Rcymypww o All of the prisoners are still at large, as well... Lord Reese, would you be willing to help us pursue these men?

Meoilxpy o Of course, Weyl. If we do not recapture those men, we will lose leverage to negotiate for the return of our own prisoners. I'll assign one of my subordinates to lead a capture party after them.

Rcymypww o I'm so sorry to have to ask this of you, Lord Reese...

Lgjkwhcy o Hold up, Weyl! What's stopping you from going back there with your own men? I know one of them is injured, but I see no reason why the rest of you can't come with us to help! Heck, why are you all back here, anyway? Why didn't you just send someone back with the injured man so the rest of you could stay and recapture the Imperials?

Rcymypww o Please tell your soldiers to take care when they go to Lexa Pass. It has no shortage of marauders prowling about the area.

Well, it looks like we've got ourselves a new mission. But first... it's that time again.

I'm so sorry...

5ppfqll8 o Excuse me, but you were friends with the late Czene, yes? These are the deceased's belongings. Please, take them.

Here it is. Czene lost her life for this.

Actually, if we bought a composite bow we could craft this bow right now. Given that the next mission is about capturing people, it seems a little too perfect that this is available now, of all times.

Of course, if we keep the thread, we could potentially buy this, which is... well, I'm still unsure as to whether this is a magic bow or just a normal one, but either way, Brightbow is right. It's amazing. I want it. For Sylvis, obviously.

So for the moment, let's just leave this soma thingy with Lumiere and be done with it.

In any case. That description is a bit wrong, but whatever. Next time, we go and recapture prisoners, and, well... maybe nobody will die? Is that too much to ask? Please?

Sigh... Farewell, please. For me, if not for you. I need the views to feed my ego. Understand?

Sx3twg7y o

Eqtmjaao o

Viudwnma o

102f7zid o

7ip7ngre o

Qegxoqo0 o

O3rpakdi o

G3e1rvtg o

Pmrfpcto o

Ao33rvn1 o

To be continued.

Death count: Christine
Esteban
Czene

* Unavailable

Capture count: 0

Reset count: 1 (Ward: 1)

Current perfect streak: haha

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

Punished Dayni · June 4, 2020

6 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahahah... I was hoping this would come up.

...wait! You actually changed your name for that!? You absolute madman! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah... I can't believe it took me a full day to notice that!

Least you noticed.

Hi I'm Daysi. I guess.

Once again I must kill my own joke and change back.

7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I didn't need to do that, actually. They held their own for the entire game.

They were still in second tier in that chapter, though like I was saying if I decided to use them I could grind the map.

8 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I think my personal favorite was sprinting toward the chapel gate while the area was still loading. Byleth would run his head against the gate for a few seconds... and then phase through it, because it rose too slowly when the area finally loaded.

...I'll admit it, though: as much as I crap on the game, it's a game that I occassionally feel the temptation to return to. FE9 or Echoes, for example, I haven't the slightest desire to ever again touch them with a 10-foot pole, but Three Houses had just enough things that I enjoyed... characters that I liked, a story that I enjoyed, even fun mechanics. To the point where I'm considering if I might not've been a bit too unfair with it due to my rage after Reunion At Dawn. It's currently below Echoes in my FE tier list, and I really don't think it deserves to be.

It's just a shame about all the other things that make me relunctant to try it again. Like the fact that you spend hours trying to get to the next chapter. That ain't so much fun.

Ah yeah, I remember that. It's easy to crap on it for that stuff, almost too much so.

Reunion After Dawn was a bad chapter in context to how it's set up really, all it needed was preps in some form and it'd really fall into the background.

Yeah, it's the sort of thing I can see impacting future playthroughs of it, I'm feeling the repetition in late game on SS (final route time) and it's something I feel I should address. Part of it is because on the free weekend Explore is so much more optimal as to not make it worth going for Seminar which would be so much quicker and Battle is too exploitable when you hit certain grades because 3 fights is a bit much when you have no more paralogues.

8 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's also dumb. Would've made it harder to kill him before he left, but wasn't that the point? To make the bounty difficult to get? Why does he go north and into a stupid fuckin' hole? If the hole was visually open to the outside, I would've been fine with it - but no, it's completely closed off! Krishna literally fades away when he makes it there! And then there's the stupid maidens rushing toward the three pirate reinforcements... all in all, not a very good Berwick map. Tch... I'll have to lower my rating of the game to 9.99/10. Possibly.

We'll see if that 9.99 is permanent.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahhhh, good ol' education. It ruins everything it touches in exchange for a paper that you use to get a job.

I think you're somewhat overblowing it. My issues in third level just came to their peak in postgrad and combined with programming being a bigger part of it than I'd have clearly wanted I was just setting myself for failure. It's amazing I didn't drop out and I still did really poorly.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Impractical? It's awesome!

I'm just trying to see how she can pick locks and steal off dismounted enemies's pockets on a horse.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That face does not match the badassery. Seriously, I can't get over that. He looks like he should be attending elementary school, not singlehandedly defending river banks.

I can't wait for more levels for Black Knight quotes.

10 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I think I'm missing something here.

Nima just kept dodging, I'm surprised you missed that.

I'm not so surprised Adel did. Repeatedly.

11 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'll purchase it so I can hit you over the head with it if you don't shut up!

You got yourself a deal, Danton. Which one would you prefer?

Ilrbpdns o The bed. In pieces.

13 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And with that, we've got a specially crafted knif--

...oh, for fuck's sake-- They're taking the piss now! A knife, really!? I've lost all but one of the game's knife users! And to add insult to injury, this is a defensive knife. Grants the Parry skill to the wielder. Thanks a lot, Lumiere. I lost Czene to get a weapon for Czene. Marvelous.

That's just cruel.

13 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...I have a confession to make. ...That's not a good-luck charm. It's just the key to my room. It was the first thing I could come up with to help you remain calm. I'm sorry for deceiving you...

Is... is that so...? To help me remain calm, you told me a lie like that?

Adel, don't make me compare you to Arkis.

Your lack of smoothness really ain't helping.

Lumiere, just walk away.

14 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...We've made a terrible blunder, sir. I take full responsibility. We were having them work on the road through Lexa Pass

Oh right, they weren't here, they were working on... Wait, what...? Why were you having prisoners of war build a road?! Is this normal practice in times of war?

Depending on your war, yes.

Plenty of times you see PoWs be used as labour for the victorious. It's not as well recorded for the medieval period as they tended to smite the heathen, but it would be understandable that at least some saw it as an opportunity instead of just something to watch over. But then again, common folk tended to be slaughtered or left with the ashes far as I recall..

15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, if we bought a composite bow we could craft this bow right now. Given that the next mission is about capturing people, it seems a little too perfect that this is available now, of all times.

So you're not?

Do those people need to be captured for the objective? This seems like the perfect time.

16 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As opposed to Highlanders, who are immortal warriors that have serious combat experience and who have dealt with crazy magic BS-

Are we sure they're actually not Higlanders now? (Not the group from Berwick, just so I'm clear)

16 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh great, Berwick's fucked they've got immortals coming for them now.

17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

tenor.gif?itemid=14773414

Oh my, there are some topics that we don't want to know the answers to.

17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, if there's anything that might scare people away so they can discuss serious matters it's talking about implied actions of that nature.

Then again, Elaine has to listen so I get it from her perspective.

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So the idea to throw Imhullu to the ground I can see the principle behind.

But.... Was it not implied that you just straight up can't actually hit them because of the dark aura from the tome itself? I'm legit not sure, the game of course shows them being hit for 0 but that's gameplay story limitations. OR IS IT?

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh great, soon Margaret will be mumbling "Are we the baddies?"

19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait, that can't be Pretzel, why bother giving him a blacked out portrait?

Is there any chance a Morgan or some asshat from Tearring survived? I'm forgetting.

The Roger The Paladin · June 4, 2020

17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

My favorite character in Tellius is Pelleas, but Nolan definitely takes the "favorite unit" trophy.

Old Nolan has one thing going for him that Pelleas never did. I mean besides being more usable (first run especially). Design.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, you never know. Ultimately, we all descend from the same ameba, don't we?

That's amoeba. But technically speaking, the inbreeding only matters when you're closer related than third cousins (no seriously third cousins are sometimes referred to as "kissing cousins" because they have just the right amount of genetic variation to avoid the birth defects of closer relatives). So, if we go off the fact that separate country bloodlines... odds are very slim that any two of my relatives were that closely related. Mind the genetic significance of the kissing cousins rule is probably pretty helpful for people in Mongolia, considering there's an estimated 16 million people in the world who are direct descendants of Genghis Khan... a good portion of them being in Mongolia. Imagine having to live with so many dating options struck out simply because you had one common ancestor.

34 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That game was weird. It seemed like big shit when it came out, but nowadays everyone's mostly forgotten about it.

Ironically, I never played it. I was too busy with other things. I don't even remember what at this stage.

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sheesh... I'm so sorry.

Well... as you know now, I've gotten it back.. albeit the hard way and possibly worse than I might have. But considering Matthis ended up speed blessed when it was the stat I figured he'd fail on, I'm not that worried. Heh. Who needs to learn to hack when you've got determination and a sleepless night?

37 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Missed?

Mist {m} [ugs.]

crap [vulg.]
tripe [coll.]
rubbish [esp. Br.] [nonsense]
bullshit <BS> [vulg.]
garbage [fig.]
dreck [sl.]
bull [derived from bullshit] [Am.] [vulg.]

42 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You and I should've known better than to get attached to characters in a Saint Rubenio LP.

*looks at username*

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Let's not even joke about it, otherwise, I don't know, the past might change randomly. My luck is bad enough that it may just happen.

I know when I joke about things then I often find out my outlandish satires either close to true, completely true, or will be one of the others in a few years. I believe the rise of Onlyfans in the Covid19 pandemic being the most recent example. There's a running joke with my friend that I have reality warping powers but they only work when I'm making a joke. Hence they're never intentionally used.

51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, I am here! Now that you have returned, would you care to celebrate by purchasing some of this fine furniture? I'll give you a special discount!

Now is not the time, Jonathan.

To be fair... he'll never get rid of it otherwise.

52 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Will nobody purchase my beautiful furniture?

I'll purchase it so I can hit you over the head with it if you don't shut up!

You got yourself a deal, Danton. Which one would you prefer?

......

This is the best sales tactic he's ever used. Well played Jonathon. Well played.

53 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hmm, that means... tch...

...666.666 Derricks?! That's... one hell of a number!

Isn't it?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

sp00ky Glareick stares into your soul.
Did I make the joke about "Reese the Murderer: Proceed to Bed" last update? I really want to turn that into a jokepasta now.

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Now you don't want to accept gifts? You're always so willing to take things off of thankful people's hands... is it because she's a cute girl?

I kind of realized, Ward had difficulties with both Czene and Christine. Maybe Ward just has this sixth sense about who's going to die in this LP? Lumiere can't die now can she?

57 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And with that, we've got a specially crafted knif--

...oh, for fuck's sake-- They're taking the piss now! A knife, really!? I've lost all but one of the game's knife users! And to add insult to injury, this is a defensive knife. Grants the Parry skill to the wielder. Thanks a lot, Lumiere. I lost Czene to get a weapon for Czene. Marvelous.

That's some really bad timing. Either that or Kaga expected people to lose their thief to that chest trap and knew this would be salt. 4D chess(t)? Yep.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh right, they weren't here, they were working on... Wait, what...? Why were you having prisoners of war build a road?! Is this normal practice in times of war?

I seem to remember the Japanese using POWs for forced labor in WWII, the Soviets using captured Germans for forced labor (though I think that was after). So yeah. I guess. Depending on if your country cares about human rights. But seeing as Volcens... definitely not.

ranger016 · June 4, 2020

Been a while since I last replied here, was mostly busy playing games...

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Of course, if we keep the thread, we could potentially buy this, which is... well, I'm still unsure as to whether this is a magic bow or just a normal one, but either way, Brightbow is right. It's amazing. I want it. For Sylvis, obviously.

As far as I remember, it increases magic resistance and likely magic damage too. I never tried but I think it does give higher magic damage for the magic arrows, but won't deal extra damage for the normal ones. It is probably the best bow in the game IMO, my Sherlock turned to a monster when I gave it to him.

By the way, I can't seem to get past ch 13 of BS, the map doesn't look all that tough and not like I am getting too unlucky but I can't seem to progress without losing someone. The team's positioning is likely the reason for this, I don't really want to sacrifice anyone so close to the end, any advice would be helpful.

BrightBow · June 4, 2020

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Goddamnit...

I was wondering if you had a plan for that map, but it sounds like you don't.
Watchful seems a bit awfully rare, given how important it is. Especially for said map, where it's practically "use Czerne or die", as far as I can tell.
Missing out on Esteban hurts too. With Esteban on the lighthouse, you can see just far enough to blast that ballista near the boss early on.

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And with that, we've got a specially crafted knif--

...oh, for fuck's sake-- They're taking the piss now! A knife, really!? I've lost all but one of the game's knife users! And to add insult to injury, this is a defensive knife. Grants the Parry skill to the wielder. Thanks a lot, Lumiere. I lost Czene to get a weapon for Czene. Marvelous.

To be fair, there isn't much point in actually using it, as far as I can tell. It's a rank 10 weapon, and even if you get someone that high, Parry has a terrible activation rate at the best of days. Weapon Skill / 2 +5%. However, it is worth a ton of money, so I'd say it's best to just sell it.

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm so sorry...

"Cut short". Nice pun here, considering she was sliced in half.

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Of course, if we keep the thread, we could potentially buy this, which is... well, I'm still unsure as to whether this is a magic bow or just a normal one, but either way, Brightbow is right. It's amazing. I want it. For Sylvis, obviously.

That +5 magic just means it increases your magic stat by 5. It doesn't actually deal any magic damage.
Worth noting that magic arrows aren't affected by the user's magic stat.

Edited June 4, 2020 by BrightBow

eclipse · June 5, 2020

When all is lost turn to. . .willing orphan labor, I guess?

Benice · June 5, 2020

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Too bad. My Nolan was my best unit!

That's what most people think about him; he just dislikes my puns, I guess.

I really oughta finish Renewal three, though...

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Whoa, that's amazing! I resorted to the classic Luna Tauroneo strategy. That was the one time in the entire game where one of the tier 3 skills was even slightly useful and more than a glorified crit with a longer animation.

Same for me, just with Impale; Aran was an absolute champ and basically capped everything but res and luck as a 20/13 halberdier, so I promoted him to Sentinel, he stomped all of the laguz in one round, (t'was glorious,) and then used my other MVP, Laura, to sleep Ike and from There Aran used his trusty iron lance to impale Ike. I'm probably the only person in the world to have Aran and Laura be the MVPs of a run.

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Seriously, every time Titania procced Sol I rolled my eyes because it just meant five more seconds of Ike chapter.

F. It did help Mist out, since she did three damage instead of 1!

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

That much is true. But I don't think editing existing art slightly comes even close to comparing to Munch's work. I'm pretty bad at drawing otherwise

I beg to differ, my good man:

Spoiler

You can barely tell it's edited!

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

If only I'd known.

...Wait, why Dean? I have never used Dean! What use would a base Dean be here?

He survived Krishna landing Adept on him twice and Desperation was incredibly helpful to defeat him; Dean was probably my best unit until roughly chapter seven; he started to fall off and Faye started to ORKO everything.

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The Czene experience isn't losing Czene because you're a complete moron. That's the Ruben experience.

The Czene experience is Czene making things hard on the player-I shall bring up Czene's tenth cripple in my run again:

Spoiler

Czene missed and got crippled by this guy! AND SHE'S DONE THIS AT LEAST THREE TIMES!

Oh boy, time for another Czene rant:

I don't even know why I bothered to use her! Thaddy is still nearly better than her in every way and doesn't get crippled every ten seconds he's not hiding in a corner and has better base stats than she has right now! Even Christine, who is nearly equally cursed in my run hasn't managed to be this pathetic, even without a godlike horse!

I'll continue in a spoiler because this is going to go on for a while.

Spoiler

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Goddamnit, the Harold meme... fuck

I didn't realize you could actually insert images over top the other meme, so it wasn't a good one, sadly.

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fun fact: they do say it later down the line. Adel is talking out of his ass.

Nino levels of doing his best; no matter what, he just can't succeed.

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

That went horrendously. Hopefully this won't go as horrendously?

This one went horrendously for me. I didn't realize that yellow units are not allied units.

Unrelated: I still cannot for the life of me figure out Wyvern AI in this game. Sometimes they attack a full strength unit they can't kill while ignoring all of the enemies they can eat, sometimes they fly in circles doing nothing... They cost me a lot during Marcel's paralogue. If only I'd trained Marcel, I'd have been fine!

On 6/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm so sorry...

Rest in peace Czenoch. The only wholesome ship in Berwick Saga. Instead we have Diedre x Arvis only with the good guys.

BrightBow · June 5, 2020

14 minutes ago, Benice said:

Unrelated: I still cannot for the life of me figure out Wyvern AI in this game. Sometimes they attack a full strength unit they can't kill while ignoring all of the enemies they can eat, sometimes they fly in circles doing nothing... They cost me a lot during Marcel's paralogue. If only I'd trained Marcel, I'd have been fine!

The Ice Wyvern flies towards the upper right corner of the map, ignoring all possible targets on the way. Once turn 5 starts, he acts like any other aggroed unit and will attack blue and red units indiscriminately.
My preferred way of dealing with that Wyvern is to have Thaddy Provoke it at the start of turn 5, then throw as much fire as possible onto it when it gets close. Since Thaddy can Provoke out of hiding, he can lure it in without endangering himself. For other Provoke users, it's probably best to have Sylvis with Overwatch on the ready.

Benice · June 5, 2020

1 minute ago, BrightBow said:

The Ice Wyvern flies towards the upper right corner of the map, ignoring all possible targets on the way. Once turn 5 starts, he acts like any other aggroed unit and will attack blue and red units indiscriminately.

Thanks for the advice! After two attempts I figured out that the wyvern would fly into the corner and then attack randomly, but then I couldn't make heads or tails of who it would attack; it flew straight past my wounded Izerna and countless enemies with 8>Hp to attack Adel, who was at full HP then left to attack an enemy.

5 minutes ago, BrightBow said:

My preferred way of dealing with that Wyvern is to have Thaddy Provoke it at the start of turn 5, then throw as much fire as possible onto it when it gets close. Since Thaddy can Provoke out of hiding, he can lure it in without endangering himself. For other Provoke users, it's probably best to have Sylvis with Overwatch on the ready.

I'll keep that in mind if I ever play Berwick again! Thank you again!

Saint Rubenio · June 7, 2020

Part 32 - Sleep-deprived misadventures.

Hey there! Today's update is sponsored by Raid: Shadow Leg--

...pfah! No. No, but I really do have an advertisement to present to you. A few days ago, a man by the name of @Pandan finally finished his fangame, Vision Quest. This is the one and only hack that I played when it was incomplete (mostly because the demo had a whopping 27 chapters), and I absolutely loved it. I've played some of the final version (discounting any bug and balance fixes to come), and let me tell you, this game is incredible. My most heartfelt recommendation. Please go and give this guy downloads. He deserves them more than I do views.

Hola:

Spoiler

On 6/4/2020 at 2:26 PM, Dayni said:

Least you noticed.

Hi I'm Daysi. I guess.

Ahahahahahahahahah... this is great. This is absolutely glorious. Please never change it.

Once again I must kill my own joke and change back.

Damnit, no commitment...

They were still in second tier in that chapter, though like I was saying if I decided to use them I could grind the map.

That's basically my situation but with Neph and Brom.

Ah yeah, I remember that. It's easy to crap on it for that stuff, almost too much so.

Well, it is one of the ugliest games in the console right now. It's not an important flaw, but it is a flaw.

Reunion After Dawn was a bad chapter in context to how it's set up really, all it needed was preps in some form and it'd really fall into the background.

That would solve one problem, but it would still be a terrible chapter that forces you to play the entire game focusing on beating it and it alone. You can't play the game however you want, you have to play in specific ways to beat it.

This is all in maddening, of course. When I did Azure Moon in hard, I mostly curbstomped the enemy. Which... is another problem altogether. Definitely should've had a middle-ground difficulty. Or, y'know, a well-designed maddening.

Yeah, it's the sort of thing I can see impacting future playthroughs of it, I'm feeling the repetition in late game on SS (final route time) and it's something I feel I should address. Part of it is because on the free weekend Explore is so much more optimal as to not make it worth going for Seminar which would be so much quicker and Battle is too exploitable when you hit certain grades because 3 fights is a bit much when you have no more paralogues.

I think one of the biggest problems is that the game expects you to play it four times... but it doesn't really provide much more variety than the rest of the series. 66% of all routes is exactly the same, and half of the remaining 33% are reused maps and paralogues that you could get in all of the routes by recruiting. I've stated this many times before, but I humbly believe they would've been better off with just a couple of routes that were entirely different. As it is, Crimson Flower and Azure Moon are really the only worthwhile routes. The other two are just "bad AM" and "bad bad AM", respectively.

We'll see if that 9.99 is permanent.

You know it's just going to rise to 10 again in two updates.

I think you're somewhat overblowing it. My issues in third level just came to their peak in postgrad and combined with programming being a bigger part of it than I'd have clearly wanted I was just setting myself for failure. It's amazing I didn't drop out and I still did really poorly.

Well, I tend to get carried away in my hatred for education. I suppose I'm still sore from coming out of high school and college and realizing I despise the good ol' grind of memorizing shit, vomiting it on a paper and promptly forgetting it all.

I'm just trying to see how she can pick locks and steal off dismounted enemies's pockets on a horse.

Uh... magic?

I can't wait for more levels for Black Knight quotes.

Oh so they're Black Knight quotes. And here I am, still clueless as to who this non-FE BK person is.

Nima just kept dodging, I'm surprised you missed that.

I--

I'm not so surprised Adel did. Repeatedly.

Pfffff... oh, poor poor Adel.

The bed. In pieces.

I'm afraid that'll cost you extra, Danton, my friend. But it will be worth it, won't it? Just think about it. Smashing my ugly mug in with those pieces... what a beautiful image, no? It could become true, just for a measly 42000D!

...why do I even let you peddle your stuff here?

That's just cruel.

Isn't it!? Isn't it!?!?

Adel, don't make me compare you to Arkis.

Your lack of smoothness really ain't helping.

Well, Arkis was an insensitive asshole. Adel is just awkward as fuck.

Lumiere, just walk away.

C'mon, man. Don't be like that. He's trying. Uh... He's trying really badly...

(In his defense, the game will explain why he tried something so stupid. Here's a hint: It wasn't his idea)

Depending on your war, yes.

Plenty of times you see PoWs be used as labour for the victorious. It's not as well recorded for the medieval period as they tended to smite the heathen, but it would be understandable that at least some saw it as an opportunity instead of just something to watch over. But then again, common folk tended to be slaughtered or left with the ashes far as I recall..

War is sickening, damnit...

So you're not?

Do those people need to be captured for the objective? This seems like the perfect time.

They don't need to be captured, actually.

As opposed to Highlanders, who are immortal warriors that have serious combat experience and who have dealt with crazy magic BS-

Are we sure they're actually not Higlanders now? (Not the group from Berwick, just so I'm clear)

I still have no idea what those guys are (even though they've been brought up in the past, I know), so... probably not?

Oh great, Berwick's fucked they've got immortals coming for them now.

I just hope they don't kill more of my units...

Ahahahahahahahaha... this gif. This gif is quality.

Oh my, there are some topics that we don't want to know the answers to.

Weren't you the one who wanted to know how Elaine came to be? That's how.

I mean, if there's anything that might scare people away so they can discuss serious matters it's talking about implied actions of that nature.

Then again, Elaine has to listen so I get it from her perspective.

It was awkward for all the parties involved. Well, except the two of them, of course.

So the idea to throw Imhullu to the ground I can see the principle behind.

But.... Was it not implied that you just straight up can't actually hit them because of the dark aura from the tome itself? I'm legit not sure, the game of course shows them being hit for 0 but that's gameplay story limitations. OR IS IT?

You know what? I don't know, either. But let's just say that its powers have been weakened by the years and call it a day.

Oh great, soon Margaret will be mumbling "Are we the baddies?"

Perhaps, perhaps.

Wait, that can't be Pretzel, why bother giving him a blacked out portrait?

Well, maybe he's just being extra edgy.

Is there any chance a Morgan or some asshat from Tearring survived? I'm forgetting.

Hmmm... Maybe. Who knows. I sure don't.

On 6/4/2020 at 3:19 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Old Nolan has one thing going for him that Pelleas never did. I mean besides being more usable (first run especially). Design.

Oh absolutely. Nolan's design is top tier.

That's amoeba.

Damnit! It's ameba in spanish. I should've known... english loves its random added vowels.

But technically speaking, the inbreeding only matters when you're closer related than third cousins (no seriously third cousins are sometimes referred to as "kissing cousins" because they have just the right amount of genetic variation to avoid the birth defects of closer relatives). So, if we go off the fact that separate country bloodlines... odds are very slim that any two of my relatives were that closely related. Mind the genetic significance of the kissing cousins rule is probably pretty helpful for people in Mongolia, considering there's an estimated 16 million people in the world who are direct descendants of Genghis Khan... a good portion of them being in Mongolia. Imagine having to live with so many dating options struck out simply because you had one common ancestor.

16 million-- What?! How'd that even happen!? Now I have to wonder if I, too, descend from Genghis Khan...

Ironically, I never played it. I was too busy with other things. I don't even remember what at this stage.

I finished four stories, and couldn't be bothered to grind with the other four characters. Sorry, Olberic, Ophelia, Therion and guy whose name I'm forgetting right now. Your stories never reached their conclusion.

...Holy shit though, I'm seriously blanking out on the eighth guy's name. Olberic, Ophelia, Therion, Primrose, Cyrus, Ha'anit, Alfyn, and... goddamnit... errrrrrghhhhh...

...Tressa? Yeah, Tressa, that's it.

Hey, come to think about it, that game's Ophelia is a blonde too! Kaga did Octopath Traveler first!

Well... as you know now, I've gotten it back.. albeit the hard way and possibly worse than I might have. But considering Matthis ended up speed blessed when it was the stat I figured he'd fail on, I'm not that worried. Heh. Who needs to learn to hack when you've got determination and a sleepless night?

Ah, yes, sleepless nights. The real bane of humankind.

Mist {m} [ugs.]

crap [vulg.]
tripe [coll.]
rubbish [esp. Br.] [nonsense]
bullshit <BS> [vulg.]
garbage [fig.]
dreck [sl.]
bull [derived from bullshit] [Am.] [vulg.]

You forgot one, but I found it for ya, no worries.

missed [d'oh I.]

*looks at username*

...yeah... eheh... urgh...

I know when I joke about things then I often find out my outlandish satires either close to true, completely true, or will be one of the others in a few years. I believe the rise of Onlyfans in the Covid19 pandemic being the most recent example. There's a running joke with my friend that I have reality warping powers but they only work when I'm making a joke. Hence they're never intentionally used.

I have a different power: all of my favorites die in everything. Seriously, it's kinda amazing. My curse reached its peak in this one game I recently played. I won't share the name because spoilers, but I shit you not, all of my favorite characters died, in order, from most to least favorite. It was... seriously frustrating.

To be fair... he'll never get rid of it otherwise.

He'll never get rid of it period. I mean, c'mon, even Dad's gifts aren't enough to buy half of his shit.

This is the best sales tactic he's ever used. Well played Jonathon. Well played.

Modern scammers should take notes. This guy had the right idea.

One month later

"EA employees DLC Pack: beat the shit outta us for just 69$!"

sp00ky Glareick stares into your soul.

(ASMR)

Did I make the joke about "Reese the Murderer: Proceed to Bed" last update? I really want to turn that into a jokepasta now.

No you didn't, but I think I can imagine, considering last time was the update with... that Reese face.

Would you believe that I didn't even intend for it to be that bad? The smile legit turned out like that on its own. Then I touched up the eyes slightly and voila. Nightmares for weeks.

I kind of realized, Ward had difficulties with both Czene and Christine. Maybe Ward just has this sixth sense about who's going to die in this LP? Lumiere can't die now can she?

So he's like me, except instead of his favorites, it's his least favorites that die.

...better not get on his bad side...

That's some really bad timing. Either that or Kaga expected people to lose their thief to that chest trap and knew this would be salt. 4D chess(t)? Yep.

At this point, it wouldn't even surprise me. This is the same man who developed 5 games with poor balancing just to lure the player into using Zieg in TRS. I know that's probably not it, but shut up it's my headcanon and it's staying that way.

I seem to remember the Japanese using POWs for forced labor in WWII, the Soviets using captured Germans for forced labor (though I think that was after). So yeah. I guess. Depending on if your country cares about human rights.

I figured...

But seeing as Volcens... definitely not.

Does Volcens even know we have captives? I cannot imagine he cares enough to ask, Padolf is probably too idiotic to comprehend the concept of prison, and Herman wouldn't open his mouth unless it was to cause trouble.

On 6/4/2020 at 5:27 PM, ranger016 said:

Been a while since I last replied here, was mostly busy playing games...

I will forgive you for this transgression. This time.

As far as I remember, it increases magic resistance and likely magic damage too. I never tried but I think it does give higher magic damage for the magic arrows, but won't deal extra damage for the normal ones.

Brightbow said it doesn't increase magical arrow damage, which is a shame, but it's still a resistance boost.

It is probably the best bow in the game IMO, my Sherlock turned to a monster when I gave it to him.

Wonderful, and I've missed out on it in both of my past runs because I wanted the Apeiron.

By the way, I can't seem to get past ch 13 of BS, the map doesn't look all that tough and not like I am getting too unlucky but I can't seem to progress without losing someone. The team's positioning is likely the reason for this, I don't really want to sacrifice anyone so close to the end, any advice would be helpful.

At this point you've probably beaten it already, but... yeah, chapter 13 is one of the hardest in the entire game. It took me a lot of tries. I'm really not in any position to be giving anyone advice (my strategy for that map is to brace for impact and pray), so... good luck.

On 6/4/2020 at 7:31 PM, BrightBow said:

I was wondering if you had a plan for that map, but it sounds like you don't.

I do have one thing going for me: I have most of the enemy placements engraved into my mind from all the attempts it took me to beat it in my first run. I should probably be able to do something. I don't know. Maybe.

Either way, if he's still alive by then, I can assure you that I am not deploying Axel. I don't care if he'd be useful with all the water. I won't risk bringing him to a map where I fully expect to suffer casualties.

Watchful seems a bit awfully rare, given how important it is. Especially for said map, where it's practically "use Czerne or die", as far as I can tell.
Missing out on Esteban hurts too. With Esteban on the lighthouse, you can see just far enough to blast that ballista near the boss early on.

Wonderful. Is this really going to be another LP where I suffer just the right losses to completely screw myself over? Seriously?

To be fair, there isn't much point in actually using it, as far as I can tell. It's a rank 10 weapon, and even if you get someone that high, Parry has a terrible activation rate at the best of days. Weapon Skill / 2 +5%. However, it is worth a ton of money, so I'd say it's best to just sell it.

I'll take your advice again. Please keep it coming. I need more tips to die less.

"Cut short". Nice pun here, considering she was sliced in half.

Bah! You! Stop...!

That +5 magic just means it increases your magic stat by 5. It doesn't actually deal any magic damage.
Worth noting that magic arrows aren't affected by the user's magic stat.

All right, so it's just a res boost. Still a great bow.

On 6/5/2020 at 9:51 AM, eclipse said:

When all is lost turn to. . .willing orphan labor, I guess?

Uh... I'd much rather not, actually...?

On 6/5/2020 at 9:49 PM, Benice said:

That's what most people think about him; he just dislikes my puns, I guess.

Could be, 'cause I can't see how you could go wrong with this guy. I can see him falling off, but he's excellent in part 1.

I really oughta finish Renewal three, though...

Rebirth* Renewal is a different thing.

Same for me, just with Impale; Aran was an absolute champ and basically capped everything but res and luck as a 20/13 halberdier, so I promoted him to Sentinel, he stomped all of the laguz in one round, (t'was glorious,) and then used my other MVP, Laura, to sleep Ike and from There Aran used his trusty iron lance to impale Ike. I'm probably the only person in the world to have Aran and Laura be the MVPs of a run.

Honestly, it feels like the only time tier 3 skills ever come in handy is to beat Ike in 3-13. Mostly because he's so broken that you need to break the game to kill him. Every other time, they either don't make a difference or function exactly the same as a regular crit.

F. It did help Mist out, since she did three damage instead of 1!

Wonderful.

I beg to differ, my good man:

Hide contents

You can barely tell it's edited!

Ahahahahahahahahah... you know, I actually made a "good" version of that portrait. By "good", I mean "actually feels like it's intentionally ugly and not some guy's first mug."

Whaddya think?

He survived Krishna landing Adept on him twice and Desperation was incredibly helpful to defeat him; Dean was probably my best unit until roughly chapter seven; he started to fall off and Faye started to ORKO everything.

Well, too bad I haven't used him, nor will I ever, because the only thing I like about him is his promoted design.

The Czene experience is Czene making things hard on the player-I shall bring up Czene's tenth cripple in my run again:

Hide contents

Czene missed and got crippled by this guy! AND SHE'S DONE THIS AT LEAST THREE TIMES!

Sheesh...

Oh boy, time for another Czene rant:

I don't even know why I bothered to use her! Thaddy is still nearly better than her in every way and doesn't get crippled every ten seconds he's not hiding in a corner and has better base stats than she has right now! Even Christine, who is nearly equally cursed in my run hasn't managed to be this pathetic, even without a godlike horse!

If you keep saying things like this, you'll make me feel better about her death. And then Thaddy will die too, because I'm not allowed to feel good.

I'll continue in a spoiler because this is going to go on for a while.

Hide contents

......

Well, congratulations. I was not expecting that.

I didn't realize you could actually insert images over top the other meme, so it wasn't a good one, sadly.

I forgive you. It hurt, but the right way.

Nino levels of doing his best; no matter what, he just can't succeed.

Bah...

This one went horrendously for me. I didn't realize that yellow units are not allied units.

...how, though? They were ugly brigands! How do you not realize ugly brigands are the enemy?

...oh right, there's that one time in TRS where they're not the enemy...

Unrelated: I still cannot for the life of me figure out Wyvern AI in this game. Sometimes they attack a full strength unit they can't kill while ignoring all of the enemies they can eat, sometimes they fly in circles doing nothing... They cost me a lot during Marcel's paralogue. If only I'd trained Marcel, I'd have been fine!

They're rather fickle, I agree.

Rest in peace Czenoch. The only wholesome ship in Berwick Saga. Instead we have Diedre x Arvis only with the good guys.

...Oh, please... Hey, it's not the only wholesome ship. There's at least a couple others.

......

Like Emotionless Reese and his sister-- Okay, no, but really, there are a few nice ships. With luck, I won't kill all of them.

On 6/5/2020 at 10:12 PM, BrightBow said:

The Ice Wyvern flies towards the upper right corner of the map, ignoring all possible targets on the way. Once turn 5 starts, he acts like any other aggroed unit and will attack blue and red units indiscriminately.
My preferred way of dealing with that Wyvern is to have Thaddy Provoke it at the start of turn 5, then throw as much fire as possible onto it when it gets close. Since Thaddy can Provoke out of hiding, he can lure it in without endangering himself. For other Provoke users, it's probably best to have Sylvis with Overwatch on the ready.

I think I know how I'll deal with it.

Same way as every other time: by praying.

On 6/5/2020 at 10:17 PM, Benice said:

Thanks for the advice! After two attempts I figured out that the wyvern would fly into the corner and then attack randomly, but then I couldn't make heads or tails of who it would attack; it flew straight past my wounded Izerna and countless enemies with 8>Hp to attack Adel, who was at full HP then left to attack an enemy.

To be honest, if those guys were logical about who they attacked the game would be impossible.

I'll keep that in mind if I ever play Berwick again! Thank you again!

But you must. How could you not replay such a masterpiece!? I'll kill you!

Qué tal estás?

Spoiler

All right, new chapter time. I'll warn you ahead of time, I was really tired when I played this map. Barely got any sleep at all that night. I'm already bad enough on a daily basis, so let's watch me stumble all over the place with half my brain shut down.

Team. Map. The map is fairly straightforward. The fugitives are scattered along the road. They're all injured, so we can try crippling them easily (well, I mean, more or less - this is still me, after all). They won't pose that much of a threat. The guys past the river are the real difficulty. They can be bypassed, but there are good reasons to take them down. Also, random chest in the middle of the field. Kaga did Three Houses's randomly placed chests first!

It's text time! This is Helcut. He's leads the escapees, but he cannot really be considered a "boss." I mean, he's a generic. He's also hilariously dumb. Notice how he moved north from his starting position? He'll move right back there when his scene ends, just so it takes him longer to get to his destination. Good job, man. We could never catch the likes of you. Not in a million years.

Jxtbmp0h o Helcut, we've handed out the spears we found in that house! They aren't much, but I think we can manage with these for now.

7ajnehbu o Excellent! Let's continue on across the valley! We just have to make it into our occupied territory, and then we'll be saved!

Lgjkwhcy o Oh, not if I have anything to do about it. We're the good guys, you see, and we'd rather murder you all than let you go free.

7ajnehbu o Damn it all, they're here already...? We'll never outrun them at this rate... We'll just have to take a gamble and meet them head on.

Lgjkwhcy o That's a terrible idea, Helcut. You can't see it from the prepscreen, but everyone is injured, including Helcut himself. They won't last.

7ajnehbu o The Imperial Border Guard should be close to this area! I'll find some way to signal our position to them! Everyone, please hold on until the Border Guard comes to help us!

Lgjkwhcy o Why is there an Imperial border guard in the middle of Narv-- Ahh, fuck it. It's just like Hamilton. Volcens is dumb and lets Imperials inside his territory. There, plothole explained.

7ajnehbu o I can't start a signal fire here... The forest is too deep... Maybe along the riverbank...? Ah, that's right! There's a signal beacon just downriver...!

Over at the yellow faction, we find our bounty target of the day, Feruz. "Feroz" means "fierce" in spanish, so I guess this guy's name is Fiurce...?

Ue8vzrq8 o Everyone, get to your positions, but don't get any smart ideas! Don't go starting any fights unless you want your pay docked!

9qk5ifz8 o Heh... that's going to become really ironic later.

It's go time! As you can see, it's not necessary to capture the fugitives, but there's a reward for getting as many as possible. Therefore, with my luck, I'll get none at all.

One is crippled from the start. But knowing me, I might just misclick and kill him. This is sleep-deprived Ruben we're talking about.

Anyway, see that building to the right? That's the beacon Helcut is talking about. He'll make a beeline for it while the others slow us down. If he successfully reaches it, a fuckton of Imperials will appear over the bridge. I'd like it if that doesn't happen, thanks.

Helcut and friends are all equipped with bad gear. Really not worth capturing for it, but the reward is nice.

Yuq87rhc o

Helcut has Counter, but frankly, I'd be surprised if he manages anything better than just killing himself with it. Don't forget, if Counter activates but the counterattack misses, the attacker gets a second shot (so long as they have enough AS).

Then there's this fucking asshole! He has big arrows and invulnerability to Sylvis, so you can't even kill him from 3 range! I hate this bastard. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. He's positioned in the worst possible spot.

Lmdipfgu o

That is why my first move will be to smack him.

That oughta teach you!

Gaah! Why do I always forget that there are hidden archers in the maps with hidden archers?

At least he failed to do much.

You know, if she got hit by that guy, this one could've fired at her and killed her. Just a fact.

Off to a wondrous start, I see...

By the way, Morque bandit? "Morgue" in spanish is... well, morgue. So I guess this is like a morgue that employs a torque system to store the corpses. Torque + Morgue = Morque.

...I really need to sleep. I haven't the slightest idea what I'm talking about.

Anyway.

Sigh... It's all right, it's all right. I cannot complain after the game allowed me to capture Lyarc against all odds.

Elbert, come now...

And with that, Ruby scores a kill.

And a level! Let it be a good one.

Ohoho! Could this be... that which the sages of yore described in the ancient legends... the fabled Good Berwick Level-Up?

Definitely looks like it! Real nice job, Ruby. Thank you. May you keep this up.

...wait, no, I just realized... this isn't good, not at all! This is a bad omen, a terrible omen...!

AH! RUBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Bwaaaahh... no! No! She's doing so well... don't kill her...!

There goes Helcut. Takes him three turns to reach the beacon. Here's hoping we'll get to him first.

Derrick can reach the fool above Elbert. Therefore...

He Derricks him. I would've liked to lead the charge with him, as always, but I'm afraid I want that archer dead more than I want to do memes. No worries, D-man. Next time.

Gaaaah! No! Nonononononono... don't you dare!

Feruz moved here for... some reason. Not sure what he's hoping to accomplish, frankly.

All right, Faye. Time to get a kill. When was the last time?

Way to go, girl.

Crippled man attempts to escape. He won't make it far.

At least I hope he won't. We do have to make it through his friends first.

As the final move of the turn, Thaddy will sneak by the enemies to get to the chest.

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

Phew... I didn't notice he was in range...!

There's a Battle Crier on the other side of the river.

Crooked axe with actual accuracy. I think at full power, he kills literally everyone in my army (not just on today's team) with one blow.

Well, no matter. Let's cripple this dude.

Wonderful.

...Sigh... Not so wonderful.

No, no...! I need to get her out of there, fast!

Uhh, shield level.

You gigantic piece of shit! Baaaaaaahh!

...Wait, no, this means he didn't Overwatch. Thank you ever so much for your kindness, good sir!

My original plan was to have her shank the archer before moving as far as possible. Then next turn, she could ambush Helcut and block the signal beacon.

...Then I proceeded to completely forget about the plan over the course of five minutes, and instead captured this guy.

Hurray. I eliminated the guy who wasn't a threat to anybody. Aren't I proud of myself. See, that's what happens when you don't go to bed early.

Anyway, some healing. That I marked with the flags is Feruz's range. I'd like not to get Owen killed today, thank you. I was sleepy, not suicidal.

Perfect.

Good show, Arth--

Cvlygxlj o

Bad show, Arturo.

This would've been a cool kill for Czene... Alas, I suppose Thaddy will have to do.

I already hate you.

He does a hilarious jump and turns around in the air when he doubles. I failed to catch any of it, as usual.

...Oh!

Would you look at that, we can already kill Helcut!

Still, I'd like to capture him. Let's hope reducing his HP to 2 will suffice...?

Okay, good job, Rub--

Ahh!

Oh.

.......

Well. There goes Helcut.

Helcut is so forgettable and bad that I completely forgot to give him a death edit. Hold on, let me... just...

There. Death edit.

Good gains. She's creeping ever closer toward her destiny. Also, free Clifford. But nobody likes Clifford, so I suppose that doesn't matter as much.

...Ah, for fuck's sake... Last time my team was too weak, this time my team is too strong... Clearly, my strategy of picking units based on whether or not I've deployed them previously in the chapter works wonders!

What can I say, I like having a varied team.

Okay, then.

Arturo, get a goddamned grip!

Fine, thanks.

Of course, he gets hit in return.

Eh, that could've been worse.

Faye takes down another guy.

She profits from it.

Not bad. HP is good. The speed is a bit overkill at this point, but I'll take it all the same.

Good work, Faye. I'm glad to see that you're putting that extra speed to good use.

You know what's really annoying? At this point, Arthur's strength is lower than Ruby's. This means he could Jeigan the soldier he was fighting with her shortsword... but she won't hand it over. And she has just barely enough strength to kill. Joy.

Can I count on you, Derr-- whoa, whoa!

Sleepy me finally noticed that Derrick's been using the good shield all map even though he doesn't need it. That's much better.

At this point, I expect nothing.

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HAHAH! I knew it! It took Derrick's touch to finally get a crippling!

Yeah, yeah, don't worry. I'll get to you in a minute.

But first-- ooohhhhhhh, you're so annoying... I was hoping he'd fire at Derrick, but now not only is Larentia unable to return, Derrick can't even tank the Overwatch, because he's already inside the archer's range. Remember that Overwatch is triggered when you enter the watcher's range, not when you exit it or walk inside it.

The bottom-line is that this sucks. Let's celebrate the suckery with a kill for Ruby.

Good work.

All right, Elbert. Time to redeem yourself.

Nope. Spear point?

Nopers.

Larentia'll do it, then.

Yes! Two captures! That makes three in total. I'll take it, honestly. Could've been worse.

Heal up, Faye. Owen will be too busy patching up Larentia to bother with you.

And it's capturing time! Both Thaddy and Arthur are rather low-level, so they take a guy each.

...w... what?

Why did a thousand brigands appear!?

Well, that's just wonderful, isn't it? On the bright side, our escape point has also appeared where we started. Since there are still many enemies remaining, we aren't given the option to bail, but we're close enough that even Derrick could beat those brigands to the point.

However...

There's the bag, and the chest, and this guy on top of it all.

Feruz carries an estoc. Estocs are like rapiers: weak, but very accurate and they pierce shields. The main difference is that estocs are brave weapons, and not the knight sword kind that adds another round of combat for the attacker. These are your classic FE brave weapons: they attack twice consecutively. Not a combination you want to face. He also has way too much healing.

The biggest problem with this dude is that he runs. This isn't like Boltz - in this case, I am 100% certain that he does, mainly because I missed him like that in my first run. I'm not sure what turn he does it, but his escape point is right there, so we'd better do something about it, and fast.

By the way, here's his skillset. Guess who took a glance at the list, didn't register it and closed it immediately? Guess who didn't notice the fact that he has Vantage with 7 AS?

The avid reader might've noticed that I positioned Elbert strategically at the end of the last turn. That's because I was hoping the game would allow me to do...

This.

Zlagxehg o Augh! Wow... don't stand there, man! You reflected the sunlight straight into my eyes!

Ue8vzrq8 o What in the world are you talking ab--

Zlagxehg o You're bald, old and ugly, that's what!

Ue8vzrq8 o ...ooohhh, you bold, uppity little-- C'mere! I'm gonna teach you to fear the Morque Bandits, and then I'm gonna make you carry that fear into the afterlife!

Olz9y29v o Wait! Boss, where are you going? We have the advantage! We can use the river to defend against them! Boss! Wait! Don't do it! Don't let them lure you into their trap...!

Nryrxdfq o Uzdfdmtp o

Hah! You picked the wrong target this time, dunderhead--

...I am so sick of this guy, I swear...

Die already, goddamnit! I didn't need the Euthyphro for this, but I'd rather spend a use on this than risk missing.

Eyyy! Make it a good one, please.

...You know, Larentia, you're probably the person that most direly needs raw stats. Just a thought.

Sigh... Anyway. Better not lose the leader. It wouldn't be game over if we lost Derrick, but it would be game over in my heart.

Thaddy will haul ass out of the way.

...Holy shit, that is so scary. Look at the amount of enemies...! In any other FE game, that wouldn't be so bad, but we can't kill enemies nearly as fast here... this will be tough.

Thankfully, at least one of them is completely useless, because he's carrying the pickaxe, which is...

Fkwa25jp o (Ignore the HP)

It's a joke weapon, all right. The rest, though? There's one with crit, one with franciscas, the asshole with the crooked axe... all around, not stuff I want to face.

For this reason, my next move will be to equip Owen with the holy orb. I have never mentioned it, but equipping isn't a free action in this game, I imagine due to the fact that you can't trade equipped items. Once you've changed your equipment, you must use the unit. Wait, attack, move... you can do anything with that unit, but you can't select a different one.

In other words, this is kind of a waste of a move, but if anything out of the ordinary happens and Owen gets attacked, I'll be glad to have done this.

...Shhhhhfffuuuuaaaaah... My heart nearly stopped when I saw that piece of shit stop next to Owen.

Let's do this. For some reason he, like Helcut, uses this boss theme instead of the usual sidequest boss theme? Well, whatever.

Ue8vzrq8 o I'll stick your head on a pike and feed your body to the wolves!

Ha ha ha, what a story Mark.

Derrick is under attack, but he remains unscathed!

...He remains unscathed still!

Ha! I like how Derrick is unironically a good option against this guy, because even without shields he tanks his strikes.

Hah! Yeah, you try that. I'm sure it'll work eventually.

Kxl56be1 o Pztihnyh o

That's... not so good, actually. He can't damage Derrick, but his brethren can...

Baaaaaaaaaaah goddamnit Derrick!

On the bright side, at this rate he's going to break the estoc on Derrick's face.

Ah! Ahhh! This is what I was talking about! Derrick!

...Aaaaaand that's where my lack of energy got the better of me.

Seriously. I had just seen this happen literally 30 seconds earlier. And yet it didn't occur to me that maybe, just maybe, it's not a good idea to attack him head-on with someone who can't tank everything.

Ozdrvc1h o

So uh... this is kinda terrible. He's lost the provoked status, too, since he fought Elbert. That was the worst possible move I could've done at this point. This is why you don't play strategy games when you've gotten 5 hours of sleep at best.

Thankfully, I'm saved by the fact that Thaddy couldn't run that far away. He's just far enough that he's able to provoke Feruz. That'll get him out of my hair while I deal with his goons. I wish I could say I planned this, but I'd be lying.

Bda25u8h o Uhh...

Ue8vzrq8 o What!? A kid?! I'll kill you!

Bda25u8h o I didn't say anything!

Ue8vzrq8 o I hate kids, I hate them, I hate them! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

Okay, and now... we gotta do something about all the other enemies.

Olz9y29v o Guys! Guys, wait! Where are you all going!? We shouldn't cross the river! Is anyone listening to me? Hello?

First, Arturo will do this.

......

I badly needed to sleep, didn't I...

Iexvxisx o Glhxc0nx o

Not all hope is lost yet, though. There is one way out of this one.

Take one for the team, Faye...!

Another Ruby level. We're on a roll today.

Well! It's worse, but that doesn't make it bad. Good work, Ruby.

Eheheheheh... ahhhh... take one for the team, Faye. And know that I am truly sorry.

Holy shit

Ffadtqoq o

...What?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU FUCKING...! You can't be fucking serious! Agvan's weapon doesn't fail, Krishna doesn't miss, but this fucking asshole does miss! NOW is when the game decides to give me a break! Now! The one time I don't even need it!

Sigh... Well, let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. It's still better to have Faye than to not have Faye.

Still, that is so annoying...

Okay, Thaddy. You need to run like your life depends on it. Because it does.

...o-oh God...

He's going to get hit now, isn't he. Isn't he!? That's the way it always goes! They spared casual mode girl, but Arthur's going to die here, and all because I'm a GODDAMNED MOROOOOOOOOOOOOOOON--

......

I don't understand you, RNGoddess. What are you playing at?

All right, so let's--

...Wait, what? Why does he have increased damage?

Well, I didn't take a screenshot of it, but apparently getting provoked also grants the same stat increase as a single Battle Cry. A fact I never noticed in 2.33 runs of this game. Despite the fact that the Battle Cry icon appears over provoked units.

Amazing. It seems every day I discover more and more ways in which I am horrendous at this, my favorite game.

Right, then. Let's instead--

Hah! Ahah! Bwahahah! No.

Let's instead do this.

0lxww0t0 o Ttbuwcpf o

Derrick has elected to be merciful and not chop off the guy's arm. As thanks, the enemy returns his mercy. Totally not a failure on both ends.

One more time, Faye. Let's risk your life!

No Sunder crit, but still, good.

What!? He already lost the provoked status? But... no! He's right there! He can't lose it yet...

Okay-- Gaaaaaarrgghhh! He can miss with Desperation...

Oh, fuck that! Fuck that! I've lost people to 1% chances before... I cannot take that risk... but then, how do I deal with him? He can't be allowed to take potshots at my army...!

...nnnggghhh....

Aahh, fuck it! Fuck it sideways to hell! If you miss this, Arthur, you do not deserve to live! Go!

Thank you! Thank you so much!

Now, occupy that spot. I'm just trying to make it as inconvenient for them to move as possible.

Enraged by his defeat, a pirate goes to avenge his crooked pal.

Tbvxgn1w o Dhzahaf4 o

That will not be quite so easy.

Elbert, you move right there. If I play my cards right, I could buy myself a couple more turns yet.

Oh, look. A fool has fallen for my trap. Bwahah!

...I laugh now, but my heart was legit pounding as I watched this. A miss could've been fatal here. Not to mention the possibility that one of these assholes had Counter or Vengeful...

Honestly, starting with the moment I had Faye take one for the team, my heart was racing the whole way through, because it dawned on me that I was not in any condition to be playing. But I was already late enough. I didn't want to keep you guys waiting.

Thankfully, everything goes well. For now.

Can I have another blow on him, Larentia?

No, and in a display of my usual wisdom, I only gave Larentia two pilums and handed the full pack we got in the main mission to Adel. You know, the guy who isn't here today. Urk...

At least this is working out fine.

Run! Run, and heal Elbert. In that order.

Look, a gif! Mend is basically a flashier heal. I dig it.

Nice, an injury! It'd be swell if we could capture him for the broadaxe.

Except I lied, I attacked the guy with the pickaxe because I was too scared of getting critted by the broadaxe. There's no reason to attempt to capture that one. The pickaxe is really bad.

Anyway, come the new turn, we do this yet again.

Zlagxehg o Hey, old fart! Where're you going? Realized you can't beat me, so now you're going after a kid? Fight someone your own size, you big chicken!

Ue8vzrq8 o What!? Me, a chicken!? I dare you to repeat that!

Zlagxehg o You're just a chicken, cheep cheep cheep cheep!

Ue8vzrq8 o YOU BASTARD!!

Nice, a guy ran to heal! He stole one of Feruz's vulneraries, which is wonderful.

Ue8vzrq8 o Wha-- hey! What're you doing, you idiot?! That was mine!

Dgv258j0 o B-But I needed it, boss! My guts were coming out of my gut!

Ue8vzrq8 o Grrrr... at least I still have one spare bottle. I'm coming for you, little prick!

Movcni3r o Vpbogjgo o

An attempt to finish the pickaxe dude off resulted in a WpSkill gain. I cannot complain.

Larentia does it instead. Oof! Right in the dick!

Bwahahahahahahah! There goes all of the boss's healing. Absolutely marvelous. Thank you, you dumbasses.

Ue8vzrq8 o Stop iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! I'm the boss here! Listen to me, goddamnit! Quit taking my things!

Dgv258j0 o B-But boss, m-my blood is entirely out of my body!

Ue8vzrq8 o Then roll over and die! I'm the important one here! I can't die!

Dgv258j0 o I-- ...ahhh, who cares... we're all gonna die anyway... these guys are too strong...!

Can you make this work, Derrick? Please?

I figured. Oh, well. Next time.

From afar, healed is Derrick's scar.

A level for Owen, may it for greatness be chosen.

HP, yes! I am... the embodiment of happiNESS...?

Ah, fuck it...

Thaddy has finally made it to the chest. This is the only reason I brought you here, pal, so let's hope it's good.

A coin.

...no comment.

...Actually, yes comment! Why is there a coin in a chest the size of a person in the middle of a friggin' field!? Who put this here? Feruz? This ain't Feruz's turn, that's past the river! What kind of a person just leaves chests with a single coin in 'em lying around?! I demand an explanation, lest I be forced to explain it with the Volcens argument!

Too late. It was Volcens. Volcens left this here. The bastard...

On the bright side, Feruz is doing exactly what I want him to do: circle around through the cliff to get to Elbert.

Good... and now, get ready for some galaxy brain tactics.

By putting Arthur here, I keep the brigands from moving under Larentia, and since they can't target her, Derrick is their only option.

This... sorta works. The brigand on the back can only reach Derrick, but the other one can move onto the cliff and attack the girls. Which is still fine. All in all, top tier tactics. Yes.

Very good. As I wanted, he's stepped onto the cliff to shank Elbert.

Elbert can't do much against him, but he's a sitting duck now.

Faye is the only one who doesn't get Vantaged by Feruz. Good thing she didn't die back there, otherwise I'd have to rely solely on Derrick and Owen.

Very good. And now, for the finisher!

I said, and now for the finisher!

Yeah, Derrick, you teach him to interrupt me!

Anyway, the finisher is to fry him with thunder. Thanks to the cliff, Owen's accuracy isn't half bad. Perhaps this'll even work.

Hell yeah, great work, Owen!

I didn't find you, you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

All that remains is to clean up his mooks.

Ahhh, but you see, I have everything under control. If Derrick gets hit critically, the brigand's max attack would be 39 - not enough to kill under any circumstances. Such is the power of Derrick.

Derrick couldn't counter properly, but he didn't take any damage either.

Tremble in fear, scream in terror! Your worst nightmare is upon you! Derrick...!

Waahaahahah! So much power!

Ah, anyway. This is still terrifying.

Hmm... he can't reach anyone too squishy, thankfully, but I'd rather not play around with that damn crit.

...oh?

This dude is still here... what just happened? Who fled? Ah, whatever. Probably some thief just hanging out in the forests. Most likely had an item on him, but I didn't get to see it, so I don't care.

This worked for Feruz, so let's try it once more.

Zlagxehg o Hey pal! I killed your boss! What're you gonna do about it?

Dgv258j0 o Avenge him, obviously! I will kill his killer and become the new leader of the Morque Bandits! Hahaaa!

Olz9y29v o What Morque Bandits? I'm the only one left!

Dgv258j0 o Huh? Someone said somethin'?

Zlagxehg o Only you, and I have to wonder why you're wasting time boasting when you could be coming at me. Maybe you're scared? Pants feeling a bit heavy, is that it?

Dgv258j0 o Say goodbye to that sharp tongue o' yours, pal!

Zlagxehg o Hah! Try it, then! I'm right here!

Good! That worked just as I wanted.

Owen, please Jeigan him.

Hugs for everyone!

Ahahahahah... Formidable, Owen! Who said you're bad?

Derrick! Ah, no matter. This is why I picked you, so I'd be sure you wouldn't die.

For Christ's sake... stop making Derrick lose his grip on his things already! How many times has he dropped his stuff today? Ohh, Derrick! Butterfingers Derrick, we should call him! Ah, but that'd be too cruel. Can't be so rude to the leader of the D-team.

I guess it's up to casual mode girl again... hm...

You know what? That's broken anyway. This way we can be mostly sure that she'll get him even if she misses one shot.

So long, cutlass. You served us well.

Olz9y29v o ...Well, that's it... nobody listened to me, and now I'm the only one left... Ooough, what a waste of a life I've lived...

Nice.

Now, to end the day, let's go pick this up.

Olz9y29v o O-Oh, God...! What is THAT!? What have they sent after me!? P-Please! Mercy... mercy! Don't do it! I... I don't have a family, but... I...

Jdqkwgeq o

Flame dust, awesome! And with that...

I'm actually gonna leave already. I was so tired that day that I feared I'd somehow screw up and lose someone to the lone merc, so I decided not to bother.

Olz9y29v o ...Oh, thank you... thank you for sparing me! I... thanks... thanks so much...! I-I'll turn my life around, I really will! Yeah...

Everyone, go!

...Go next turn!

There we go!

Another map in the sack... hoo, boy. That got really intense at some points. But we made it through without casualties. Not even Faye had to be bailed out by Faramir, which I am sure is a great blow to his ego. I can imagine him hiding in the bushes, waiting for Faye to be torn asunder solely so he could use that as proof of his point that women should stay in the kitchen. Alas, she prevailed. Poor dickhead will have to wait for another opportunity. Sorry, not sorry.

Whatever the case, next time, we get more Volcens. I know how you guys love Volcens, so take care not to miss the update! Farewell, because if you don't farewell, I will kill you!

Death count: Christine
Esteban
Czene

* Unavailable

Capture count: 0

Reset count: 1 (Ward: 1)

Current perfect streak: 1 map

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

Olz9y29v o ...Oh, man... what a disaster... how am I going to explain this to the boss...?

Ons14mdv o Explain what to me?

Olz9y29v o A-Ah! Boss...!

Ons14mdv o If I am not mistaken, it appears that Feruz has fallen, alongside most of his crew... "most" being the keyword here.

Olz9y29v o Yeah... they spared me.

Ons14mdv o They did? Huh... I did not take the tactician for the kind of man to extend such mercy to anybody. Well, no matter.

Olz9y29v o ...W-What's going to happen to me, boss?

Ons14mdv o I don't see why anything should happen to you. You're still alive, so you can go and join another one of the gangs.

Olz9y29v o Boss, look... I-I'm not sure if I--

Ons14mdv o You're not sure? Is it guilt? If you're feeling remorseful, I know one way to lay your worries to rest... forever.

Olz9y29v o ...N-n-no, it's okay, boss, r-really... I-I'll just go and... I-I'll wait for new orders...

Ons14mdv o That's the right call, my friend. Yes...

Punished Dayni · June 7, 2020

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, it is one of the ugliest games in the console right now. It's not an important flaw, but it is a flaw.

I'm not going to do this discussion again. Mainly because I'm thinking about the lag in the last chapter I played and shuddering.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I think one of the biggest problems is that the game expects you to play it four times... but it doesn't really provide much more variety than the rest of the series. 66% of all routes is exactly the same, and half of the remaining 33% are reused maps and paralogues that you could get in all of the routes by recruiting. I've stated this many times before, but I humbly believe they would've been better off with just a couple of routes that were entirely different. As it is, Crimson Flower and Azure Moon are really the only worthwhile routes. The other two are just "bad AM" and "bad bad AM", respectively.

Well as someone who's finally finished the game (clearing SS a few days back).....

You know what, I get it. It's easy to say, but the reality of making fewer routes would mean more could be done is an easy thing to assume. I wouldn't be so certain that would end up being the case, games development being the way it is sometimes.

As for both routes being bad(/bad) AA, I somewhat agree. In the sens of the overlap in maps being a problem, but stop that with your "just bad AM sthick". I would say both have better ending maps as an example actually.

I'm definitely wanting to do a writeup on the story. I've got a draft plan and all! It would be on the whole game as well, but I'm actually planning around Byleth rather than just throwing them out because we can use this.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, I tend to get carried away in my hatred for education. I suppose I'm still sore from coming out of high school and college and realizing I despise the good ol' grind of memorizing shit, vomiting it on a paper and promptly forgetting it all.

It's been a few years since I exited, but that was a part of why my exam-based modules were usually my worst.

(Usually. I was a wreck by my postgrad).

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

(In his defense, the game will explain why he tried something so stupid. Here's a hint: It wasn't his idea)

If it was Reese, that would explain a lot.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Qué tal estás?

I see it's time for Spanish Joey.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, new chapter time. I'll warn you ahead of time, I was really tired when I played this map. Barely got any sleep at all that night. I'm already bad enough on a daily basis, so let's watch me stumble all over the place with half my brain shut down.

So like how I finished SS.

Also a confession: I'm not feeling the music. Sure, it's better than PoR, but my opinion is that's the worst FE soundtrack overall, so Berwick being compared to it shouldn't be a compliment. I might need to play it, but again emulation's out and I'm not sure what I'd have to do to get a burned copy of the game working on my PS2 (if it works, which would be nice to confirm).

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Gaah! Why do I always forget that there are hidden archers in the maps with hidden archers?

I wish I could say this is no sleep.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ohoho! Could this be... that which the sages of yore described in the ancient legends... the fabled Good Berwick Level-Up?

4 stats, this seems fake.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

That's a way to be woken up.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Crooked axe with actual accuracy. I think at full power, he kills literally everyone in my army (not just on today's team) with one blow.

Even endgame beard?

That's scary. Considering he'd be game over in a true ironman then.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bad show, Arturo.

Of course he missed, he's too far away!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

There. Death edit.

So he's a Faceless now.

~~KDIF~~

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Feruz carries an estoc. Estocs are like rapiers: weak, but very accurate and they pierce shields. The main difference is that estocs are brave weapons, and not the knight sword kind that adds another round of combat for the attacker. These are your classic FE brave weapons: they attack twice consecutively. Not a combination you want to face. He also has way too much healing.

The biggest problem with this dude is that he runs. This isn't like Boltz - in this case, I am 100% certain that he does, mainly because I missed him like that in my first run. I'm not sure what turn he does it, but his escape point is right there, so we'd better do something about it, and fast.

You're really wanting that cash money huh?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Holy shit, that is so scary. Look at the amount of enemies...! In any other FE game, that wouldn't be so bad, but we can't kill enemies nearly as fast here... this will be tough.

~~Insert 3H Maddening joke here~~

~~Insert SD H5 joke here~~

~~Insert NMotE H3 joke here~~

~~Insert Gaiden joke here, but only because it's so slow.~~

The fact that it's because of the weapons and skills is why higher difficulties absolutely should take advantage of weaponry (which they don't seem to?)

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So uh... this is kinda terrible. He's lost the provoked status, too, since he fought Elbert. That was the worst possible move I could've done at this point. This is why you don't play strategy games when you've gotten 5 hours of sleep at best.

Played plenty of maps with that much sleep.

Maybe I should sleep early.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Uhh...

Bda25u8h o poop.... nose?

Ue8vzrq8 o What!? A kid?! I'll kill you!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, so let's--

...Wait, what? Why does he have increased damage?

Well, I didn't take a screenshot of it, but apparently getting provoked also grants the same stat increase as a single Battle Cry. A fact I never noticed in 2.33 runs of this game. Despite the fact that the Battle Cry icon appears over provoked units.

Amazing. It seems every day I discover more and more ways in which I am horrendous at this, my favorite game.

See that?

That's a cute detail.

The fact it took this long to see and that the horse HP meter was so easy to miss? I'm not gonna lie, that kind of thing concerns me about Berwick as a whole.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Larentia does it instead. Oof! Right in the dick!

Stealing this.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A coin.

...no comment.

...Actually, yes comment! Why is there a coin in a chest the size of a person in the middle of a friggin' field!? Who put this here? Feruz? This ain't Feruz's turn, that's past the river! What kind of a person just leaves chests with a single coin in 'em lying around?! I demand an explanation, lest I be forced to explain it with the Volcens argument!

Too late. It was Volcens. Volcens left this here. The bastard...

Volcens just leaves money on the roadside?

I don't know, it's stupid, but he's also seemingly greedy enough not to do that.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Another map in the sack... hoo, boy. That got really intense at some points. But we made it through without casualties. Not even Faye had to be bailed out by Faramir, which I am sure is a great blow to his ego. I can imagine him hiding in the bushes, waiting for Faye to be torn asunder solely so he could use that as proof of his point that women should stay in the kitchen. Alas, she prevailed. Poor dickhead will have to wait for another opportunity. Sorry, not sorry.

He's not onto me, is he? I'd rather not be seeing her dead and he's like this?

Edited June 7, 2020 by Dayni

BrightBow · June 7, 2020

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's text time! This is Helcut. He's leads the escapees, but he cannot really be considered a "boss." I mean, he's a generic

The game still plays the boss theme for him, funnily enough.

45 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Everyone, get to your positions, but don't get any smart ideas! Don't go starting any fights unless you want your pay docked!

Ue8vzrq8 o Except for that Overwatch dude. Draw as much attention to our position as you like.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That is why my first move will be to smack him.

This might be a mistake. This will probably aggro the bandits. I know it at least always did when I killed this guy across the river.
Maybe attacking and hurting him alone won't trigger anything, since I know he can blast your guys without causing the rest of yellow to attack. But maybe the fact that Larentia has to cross the river to attack will.

54 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Feruz moved here for... some reason. Not sure what he's hoping to accomplish, frankly.

Yup, those guys are aggroed now. Again, don't know the specific conditions. Could be because you attacked the archer. Could be because you crossed the river line. Could be both. Either way, this is gonna get rough now.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The biggest problem with this dude is that he runs. This isn't like Boltz - in this case, I am 100% certain that he does, mainly because I missed him like that in my first run. I'm not sure what turn he does it, but his escape point is right there, so we'd better do something about it, and fast.

Probably just another case of "starts running when hurt".

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly, starting with the moment I had Faye take one for the team, my heart was racing the whole way through, because it dawned on me that I was not in any condition to be playing. But I was already late enough. I didn't want to keep you guys waiting.

Please don't push yourself too hard. Especially not for an LP of all things. These months are stressful enough as is, even under ideal conditions.

eclipse · June 7, 2020

I'll continue to have that pretty girl watch Owen, so he winds up being the best thing ever~!

Benice · June 7, 2020

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Could be, 'cause I can't see how you could go wrong with this guy. I can see him falling off, but he's excellent in part 1.

Or so they say. Probably more so on hard mode.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rebirth* Renewal is a different thing.

That moment when someone with 5 hours of sleep can remember more things than me.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly, it feels like the only time tier 3 skills ever come in handy is to beat Ike in 3-13. Mostly because he's so broken that you need to break the game to kill him. Every other time, they either don't make a difference or function exactly the same as a regular crit.

Yep. Although the skill/2 % activation was pretty helpful since enemies had insane luck.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahahahah... you know, I actually made a "good" version of that portrait. By "good", I mean "actually feels like it's intentionally ugly and not some guy's first mug."

It's actually not bad. If I made a mug, I'd be arrested and executed for inhumane treatment of eyes.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Whaddya think?

I think that I'm going to have issues sleeping from now on.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, too bad I haven't used him, nor will I ever, because the only thing I like about him is his promoted design.

But you must have used him if you got him to level 15 for his promotion?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If you keep saying things like this, you'll make me feel better about her death. And then Thaddy will die too, because I'm not allowed to feel good.

Well, I think that other than the lack of promotion/a godlike horse, Thaddy is better in every way.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

......

Well, congratulations. I was not expecting that.

YES! YESYESYESYES! I DID IT! MY LIFE GOALS HAVE ALL BEEN ACCOMPLISHED! OHOHOHO! ALL IT TOOK WAS FOR YOU TO BE HORRENDOUSLY SLEEP-DEPRIVED!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...how, though? They were ugly brigands! How do you not realize ugly brigands are the enemy?

Because I am have possess the sizable cranium.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Oh, please... Hey, it's not the only wholesome ship. There's at least a couple others

Um...

Well, Perceval and Enid, I guess.

And Fayeramir.

And the most wholesome ship: Sherprosalaeginakay

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But you must. How could you not replay such a masterpiece!? I'll kill you!

I want to play it when I actually am good enough to ~~Set up a full battle cry-Pulverize on Minas~~ finish the game without Save state abuse every single chapter and whatnot.

Also bruh get some sleep. You might lose Derrick one of these days!

Golb89 · June 7, 2020

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Please go and give this guy downloads. He deserves them more than I do views.

Not like that's saying much though...

nya-jpg.33290

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'll warn you ahead of time, I was really tired when I played this map. Barely got any sleep at all that night. I'm already bad enough on a daily basis, so let's watch me stumble all over the place with half my brain shut down.

Dunno: i've achieved some of my best and/or most significant victories in both GFL and AK in that state.

(Btw, the setting for that event was a place called Siesta, just saying...)

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

hate this bastard. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. He's positioned in the worst possible spot.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Once you've changed your equipment, you must use the unit. Wait, attack, move... you can do anything with that unit, but you can't select a different one.

Just like with chess pieces.

Not like this or the FE games would have anything to do with chess, not in the least...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A coin.

More like 10k coins, actually.

tenor.gif?itemid=7887034

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

There we go!

Edited June 7, 2020 by Golb89

Pengaius · June 8, 2020

You guys wanna go play some football?

The Roger The Paladin · June 8, 2020

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's basically my situation but with Neph and Brom.

I mean, Radiant Dawn flat hates armored units. Or at least it's final two chapters do.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That would solve one problem, but it would still be a terrible chapter that forces you to play the entire game focusing on beating it and it alone. You can't play the game however you want, you have to play in specific ways to beat it.

This is all in maddening, of course. When I did Azure Moon in hard, I mostly curbstomped the enemy. Which... is another problem altogether. Definitely should've had a middle-ground difficulty. Or, y'know, a well-designed maddening.

I recently happened upon a video Mekkah did about how to cheese the chapter on Maddening... which still required a Byleth set up in specific ways to... you know, win while dealing with as little of the enemy as possible in one of those ultra specific LTC strats. Could make the chapter more bearable if you used it as an emergency break.. but to be honest I lost interest partway through the video so I only saw the Silver Snow strat that relied heavily on Seteth (with one Rocky Burdock added to his base stats).

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

(In his defense, the game will explain why he tried something so stupid. Here's a hint: It wasn't his idea)

Leon?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know what? I don't know, either. But let's just say that its powers have been weakened by the years and call it a day.

I mean, it's why the Falchion Chrom starts with in Awakening has all of 5 mt and only is super against wyverns (as opposed to, you know, Grima), and lacks the restorative power it gets when it gets reblessed. Ergo it's heavily nerfed for much of the game (but at least Chrom can promote separate from the story because the blade is treated as it's own thing). It's also why Ragnell presumably is now breakable and gets thrown by Priam. Either that or Priam is a massive bullshitter about being descended from Ike.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Damnit! It's ameba in spanish. I should've known... english loves its random added vowels.

Well... it's harder to say you're wrong if you just used the spelling you're used to. I mean... it not being a word in English doesn't mean it's not a word does it?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

16 million-- What?! How'd that even happen!? Now I have to wonder if I, too, descend from Genghis Khan...

Well, Ghengis Khan did not worry about monogamy nor consent, being a warlord. So he wasn't entirely adverse to taking captured women as brides, or taking brides as gifts. Mind his first wife (who had been an arranged marriage from when she was 10 and he was 9) was also abducted and suffered the same sort of fate by another tribe... which was the pivotal event that put the man who had been Temujin Borjigan on the path of the conqueror when 8 months later he'd been able to conduct his vengeance and rescue her. Indeed the first son she bore him has... debated parentage because of the whole incident, even though he treated the child as his own. It should be noted his first wife's children were the only ones treated as his legitimate heirs, and there were still enough that when we got to the grandchildren, there was enough infighting to carve the Mongol empire into smaller Khanates... ultimately resulting in it's disintegration. So basically, he kind of became the very thing that traumatized him in the first place... on a much grander scale. By which I mean he killed millions of people, took numerous brides of debatable willingness, and otherwise was a nasty piece of work. That said, the likelihood of someone not in the former Mongol empire sharing his bloodline is low unless they've got either slavic, middle Eastern or mainland Asian ancestry. Gif map of Mongol empire in spoiler.

Spoiler

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes, sleepless nights. The real bane of humankind.

Being an insomniac... I know.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So he's like me, except instead of his favorites, it's his least favorites that die.

...better not get on his bad side...

Either that, or he's treating them like shit in a bid to try and keep them from dying in battle because he does actually care. He is heroically sacrificing his image in a futile effort to make them leave so the fates he foresees cannot occur.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Does Volcens even know we have captives? I cannot imagine he cares enough to ask, Padolf is probably too idiotic to comprehend the concept of prison, and Herman wouldn't open his mouth unless it was to cause trouble.

I seem to remember he's responsible for a certain flying unit being in the cells in her downtime.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The Imperial Border Guard should be close to this area! I'll find some way to signal our position to them! Everyone, please hold on until the Border Guard comes to help us!

Why is there an Imperial border guard in the middle of Narv-- Ahh, fuck it. It's just like Hamilton. Volcens is dumb and lets Imperials inside his territory. There, plothole explained.

Yeah. I mean, we've seen it before. Anything Volcens does is no surprise. The man isn't exactly wise.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Way to go, girl.

Fayetul Fury

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Good show, Arth--

Bad show, Arturo.

This reminds me of something that happened when I was playing Chapter 5 over in Shadow Dragon H5. (cheap self-plugs? I mean why not).

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

There. Death edit.

Helcut? More like Helcut-down-in-his-prime-like-a-prize-rose-bush-to-a-drunken-neighbour's-lawnmower.
At least his death edit's a ten out of ten and not just a case where he accidentally sprayed a whole bottle of ketchup on his face... or maybe it was habenero salsa. That'd explain why he died.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Augh! Wow... don't stand there, man! You reflected the sunlight straight into my eyes!

What in the world are you talking ab--

You're bald, old and ugly, that's what!

...ooohhh, you bold, uppity little-- C'mere! I'm gonna teach you to fear the Morque Bandits, and then I'm gonna make you carry that fear into the afterlife!

Wait! Boss, where are you going? We have the advantage! We can use the river to defend against them! Boss! Wait! Don't do it! Don't let them lure you into their trap...!

So is that soldier there Merlinus' descendant? Also The Brave and the Bald.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'll stick your head on a pike and feed your body to the wolves!

He says, to the woman in the sky who he can't even reach. I swear, his head's as empty on the inside as it is on the outside... if you get me.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Thankfully, I'm saved by the fact that Thaddy couldn't run that far away. He's just far enough that he's able to provoke Feruz. That'll get him out of my hair while I deal with his goons. I wish I could say I planned this, but I'd be lying.

When you realize luck is the best stat in real life because it lets you do things like this in games where it isn't the best stat.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Uhh...

What!? A kid?! I'll kill you!

I didn't say anything!

I hate kids, I hate them, I hate them! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

This guy has anger issues.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, fuck that! Fuck that! I've lost people to 1% chances before... I cannot take that risk... but then, how do I deal with him? He can't be allowed to take potshots at my army...!

...nnnggghhh....

Chapter 5 flashback part 2.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A coin.

...no comment.

...Actually, yes comment! Why is there a coin in a chest the size of a person in the middle of a friggin' field!? Who put this here? Feruz? This ain't Feruz's turn, that's past the river! What kind of a person just leaves chests with a single coin in 'em lying around?! I demand an explanation, lest I be forced to explain it with the Volcens argument!

Too late. It was Volcens. Volcens left this here. The bastard...

Either that, or Feruz hid it on the other side of the river so his men wouldn't take it. Which was why he was so adverse to them attacking while being so blatantly aggressive. See he didn't want them to see it, but he had no problem with himself crossing the river because that wouldn't tip them off... apart from the one guy who had the sense to stay back. Not that it mattered, because even if he figured it out, Thaddy would have taken it by the time it was safe for him to take it.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I didn't find you, you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The way he turned red... is this supposed to be burns, or is it just the anger manifesting and causing a fatal heart attack?

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Well, that's it... nobody listened to me, and now I'm the only one left... Ooough, what a waste of a life I've lived...

The funny part is, unlike Merlinus... his caution of traps was well placed. Literally resulted in all his comrades dying when they ignored him. Then again... if he screams about it as much as Merlinus, or even a tenth as much... maybe it was a mercy killing.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Whatever the case, next time, we get more Volcens. I know how you guys love Volcens, so take care not to miss the update! Farewell, because if you don't farewell, I will kill you!

When we finally get that inevitable fan game with Serenes Forest users... and Ruben inevitably kills everyone he ever threatened to kill in an LP of it.

Golb89 · June 9, 2020

[Old replies]

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

What's wrong with her hand?!

It's a glove, it's explicitely stated in the comic too.

(She DID have problems at her hands though according to her lore)

(And yes, apparently in Arknights "standard" cats are unknown mysterious creatures... yet "standard" dogs aren't)

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

And yet TLP is apparently unfinished and terrible?

TLP IS unfinished, flawed AND dead, meaning it'll always remain like that.

(Not like i have much hope about GFL's flaws being fixed either, quite the opposite in fact, but at least it's still ongoing and steadily being worked on)

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes. What a shame that, as much as I like to joke about it with Sylvis and all, waifus aren't a selling point for me in the slightest, no? I'm happy for you, but that's not going to get me interested on the game(s).

My point was that i came to GFL for the waifus and stayed for the ~~story~~ gameplay (and then also the story) though, and to a lesser extent the same applies to AK (though the story there is so poorly written/translated that it's basically an hindrance to everything else)

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

It looks... well, you know what I'm going to say, don't you? It looks like all the others to me.

__wakitani_aiko_sonoda_keiko_oose_yuuko_

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You can say whatever you want. Those look like fidget spinners.

Well, they give her 22 base armor anyway.

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Is she your favorite character, or what?

I thought she was YOUR favorite character... at least until you left her in that spot to get slaughtered by a random wall-phasing swordman passing by.

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...your point being...?

That those guys don't move.

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

That does look kinda bad.

It's actually much worse than how it looks: i've aced the last 2 story events with no casualties (ok, 1 casualty) but i still wouldn't dare to attempt that one map (especially since i'd basically gain nothing from it now anyway)

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! If you say so, anime girl with black knives in her hair.

To be fair, her accuracy is actually at the lower end for Rifles' standards even after her upgrade, and since they can't equip PEQs to mitigate that 90% accuracy debuff during nightime it's VERY unlikely she could have hit an evasive target like the one who turned ~~Rope~~ Czene into kebab...

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Obviously, the answer is to chuck 'em at the enemy.

Alternatively, pancakes will do.

On 6/4/2020 at 1:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Y'know, I'm still wondering why this is all taking place in Rhodes Island.

Incidentally, the Rhodes Island in Arknights is actually a giant boat (basically, an ark... which is filled with "animals")

[Addendum]

On 6/3/2020 at 5:54 AM, Golb89 said:

Next time on "Rubenknights":

On 6/7/2020 at 10:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Take one for the team, Faye...!

Edited June 9, 2020 by Golb89

Saint Rubenio · June 11, 2020

Part 33 - Comedic farce.

My apologies for the slightly delayed update. I've been distracted playing Vision Quest and being tired, and the forum issues these days haven't helped.

Guten tag:

Spoiler

On 6/8/2020 at 12:12 AM, Dayni said:

I'm not going to do this discussion again. Mainly because I'm thinking about the lag in the last chapter I played and shuddering.

Ahahahahah... well, I'll play devil's advocate for once and say that the bad performance doesn't matter all that much in a strategy game. It's pretty damn pathetic that a game so ugly runs so poorly, but it doesn't impact the gameplay, so there's that.

Well as someone who's finally finished the game (clearing SS a few days back).....

You know what, I get it. It's easy to say, but the reality of making fewer routes would mean more could be done is an easy thing to assume. I wouldn't be so certain that would end up being the case, games development being the way it is sometimes.

Well, they definitely would've had more time and budget to spend on less routes. But I get what you're saying. Wouldn't surprise me if they ran out of time way earlier and chose to put more routes in hopes that people wouldn't bash them for lack of content that way.

As for both routes being bad(/bad) AA, I somewhat agree. In the sens of the overlap in maps being a problem, but stop that with your "just bad AM sthick". I would say both have better ending maps as an example actually.

Kind of disheartening that "having better ending maps" and some lore that could've easily been fit into the other routes is supposed to be a justification for pouring an extra 100 hours into the game.

Then again, what do I know. I only played half of Claude's route. That's really the problem for me. I'd be willing to find out if they really are as bad as I imagine they are, but... yeah, I don't want to waste 100 hours of my life based on the chance that the routes might just be good after all.

I'm definitely wanting to do a writeup on the story. I've got a draft plan and all! It would be on the whole game as well, but I'm actually planning around Byleth rather than just throwing them out because we can use this.

Hey, that's pretty cool! Perhaps I'll check it out. If you can make Byleth even slightly tolerable, you'll have done a better job than IntSys.

It's been a few years since I exited, but that was a part of why my exam-based modules were usually my worst.

Yeah, see?

(Usually. I was a wreck by my postgrad).

Oof... I'm so sorry... I wasn't quite as brave as you. I spent three months there, nearly sunk into a depression and noped the hell outta there.

If it was Reese, that would explain a lot.

Well, not quite, but... Wait, why would Reese be giving relationship advice? He has no emotions!

I see it's time for Spanish Joey.

Well, I guess so... I mean, that's the most generic spanish greeting in existance. It's not exactly a Joey trademark, y'know?

So like how I finished SS.

Sheesh...

Also a confession: I'm not feeling the music.

Sure, it's better than PoR, but my opinion is that's the worst FE soundtrack overall, so Berwick being compared to it shouldn't be a compliment.

You know what? I can understand your opinion. It's a pretty slow soundtrack. I find it to be pretty epic, but if you're more fond of something like Echoes or Three Houses, I can see why you wouldn't like this one.

Then again, I also like Echoes's and Three Houses's soundtracks, so I suppose liking them all is not impossible.

The bottom-line is, okay, that is fine. You're entitled to your own opinion. ~~Even if it's wrong because it's not the same as mine.~~

I might need to play it, but again emulation's out and I'm not sure what I'd have to do to get a burned copy of the game working on my PS2 (if it works, which would be nice to confirm).
Yeah, that's unfortunate... stupid PS2 emulator, being too demanding on the hardware!

I wish I could say this is no sleep.

Hah! Why, you...

4 stats, this seems fake.

It isn't. I know, hard to believe, but it's not!

That's a way to be woken up.

It did not work.

Even endgame beard?

I think so, yes. Maybe if he used a sturdy enough shield he might just barely survive a blow, but I wouldn't count on it.

That's scary. Considering he'd be game over in a true ironman then.

Yeah...

Of course he missed, he's too far away!

Maybe he was trying to break the spear, but forgot Corrosion ain't a thing in this game?

So he's a Faceless now.

Hah!

~~KDIF~~

See? It's fun. That's why I do it all the time until everyone hates me for being obnoxious.

You're really wanting that cash money huh?

You need all the money you can get in this game.

~~Insert 3H Maddening joke here~~

~~Insert SD H5 joke here~~

~~Insert NMotE H3 joke here~~

~~Insert Gaiden joke here, but only because it's so slow.~~

Ahahahahahahahah...

The fact that it's because of the weapons and skills is why higher difficulties absolutely should take advantage of weaponry (which they don't seem to?)

It's part of why I like this game. Its difficulty stems from more things than just enemy stats and density. Which... is bad for me, because I am bad at keeping track of things, but...

Played plenty of maps with that much sleep.

Maybe I should sleep early.

You definitely should.

poop.... nose?

What!? A kid?! I'll kill you!

I like that it fits.

See that?

That's a cute detail.

Isn't it?

The fact it took this long to see and that the horse HP meter was so easy to miss? I'm not gonna lie, that kind of thing concerns me about Berwick as a whole.

You know, there's actually a bunch of very in-depth tutorials in this game, the "tactical hints". Both these things are probably explained there. Not so sure about the provoke statboost, but the horse HP is there, I am certain of it. The only problem is, I'm too impatient to sit and read tutorials, so I've never done so. That's why I'm learning the game on the fly as I go.

My point is, this is on me, not on the game. The game provides the means to know these things, I just never bothered. I will admit, though, walls of text aren't exactly the most fun way to teach game mechanics. But the explanations are there.

Stealing this.

The image? The response? Or the poke on the dick? Please don't poke people on the dick.

Volcens just leaves money on the roadside?

I don't know, it's stupid, but he's also seemingly greedy enough not to do that.

When has he ever done anything greedy, though? Quite the contrary, he seems ready to completely screw himself over if it means inconveniencing those he hates.

He's not onto me, is he? I'd rather not be seeing her dead and he's like this?

That's what you get for being a condescending idiot. There are better ways to dissuade a person from fighting than telling them "women bad at fighting, go to kitchen and prepare sandwich". That's just going to make them want to prove you wrong.

On 6/8/2020 at 12:12 AM, BrightBow said:

The game still plays the boss theme for him, funnily enough.

The badass boss theme, too. Only way it would've been any more ridiculous is if he had Fight to the Death.

Except for that Overwatch dude. Draw as much attention to our position as you like.

Grrrrr...

This might be a mistake. This will probably aggro the bandits. I know it at least always did when I killed this guy across the river.
Maybe attacking and hurting him alone won't trigger anything, since I know he can blast your guys without causing the rest of yellow to attack. But maybe the fact that Larentia has to cross the river to attack will.

Oh? This is a thing?

Yup, those guys are aggroed now.

Wait, what? No, that doesn't make any sense! None of them moved! Feruz didn't cross the river until I provoked him, the crooked axe guy didn't move until I did the Arthur whoopsie, and the merc stayed put the entire map! My ass is aggroed!

Sorry for being rude there, I'm just hoping someone will take that one line out of context and make a funny joke.

Again, don't know the specific conditions. Could be because you attacked the archer. Could be because you crossed the river line. Could be both. Either way, this is gonna get rough now.

Aaaaand then it proceeded to not get rough until I made it rough by virtue of being a bad tactician with no sleep. Had it been you, it wouldn't have gotten rough. So yeah. You're wrong in this case.

Probably just another case of "starts running when hurt".

I seem to remember that he ran without me ever attacking him, though... it was a while ago, though. Probably misremembering. You know, like Agvan never moving?

Please don't push yourself too hard. Especially not for an LP of all things. These months are stressful enough as is, even under ideal conditions.

Awwwwwww, you're worried for me? Hahah, that's so sweet of you.

Nah, but really, this ain't "pushing myself", I do this for fun. It was an intense map, but I wouldn't call it stressful by any means.

On 6/8/2020 at 12:30 AM, eclipse said:

I'll continue to have that pretty girl watch Owen, so he winds up being the best thing ever~!

Yeah, let's show the skeptics that Owen is best boi. Well, second-best boi. Derrick is unmatched.

On 6/8/2020 at 1:04 AM, Benice said:

Or so they say. Probably more so on hard mode.

I was on normal, though...

That moment when someone with 5 hours of sleep can remember more things than me.

Don't beat yourself up. Happens to the best of us.

Yep. Although the skill/2 % activation was pretty helpful since enemies had insane luck.

That much is true, but the point I'm trying to make is, all those added effects, like lowered resistance, stun for a turn, bypass defense, etc. are rendered completely useless when 99.99% of the time the enemy dies to the attack anyway.

It's actually not bad. If I made a mug, I'd be arrested and executed for inhumane treatment of eyes.

Dew it, and use it in your LP. I order you!

I think that I'm going to have issues sleeping from now on.

Then I have won.

Hope he and smiley Reese don't gang up on you if you ever experience sleep paralysis. That would make me feel bad.

But you must have used him if you got him to level 15 for his promotion?

I used him in my second run. That's how I know that his character arc blows.

Well, I think that other than the lack of promotion/a godlike horse, Thaddy is better in every way.

Wonderful.

YES! YESYESYESYES! I DID IT! MY LIFE GOALS HAVE ALL BEEN ACCOMPLISHED! OHOHOHO! ALL IT TOOK WAS FOR YOU TO BE HORRENDOUSLY SLEEP-DEPRIVED!

Ha. To be fair, I probably would've fallen for it in a normal day, too. Not that it matters. As I've said before, I like the song.

Because I am have possess the sizable cranium.

Sure you do...

Um...

Well, Perceval and Enid, I guess.

I wouldn't ship them, actually. They clearly end up as good friends, but nothing more.

And Fayeramir.

He seems so much older than her, though... and I'm not sure if he's capable of understanding the concept of love, much like Reese.

Then again, I didn't get their ending in either of my runs, so what do I know.

And the most wholesome ship: Sherprosalaeginakay

Ah, yes, the love square. Now that is wonderful.

Frankly, I'd say the best ships are between NPCs, or between a playable and an NPC. Playable-on-playable ships aren't that great in this game.

I want to play it when I actually am good enough to ~~Set up a full battle cry-Pulverize on Minas~~ finish the game without Save state abuse every single chapter and whatnot.

Please do keep it in mind.

Also bruh get some sleep. You might lose Derrick one of these days!

Never. I'll commit the most unspeakable sin: I'll reset and pretend nothing happened. I will deceive each and everyone of you if that's what it takes to preserve Derrick's life!

...nah, I really won't, but you can expect a ton of salt if it ever happens. Like, a metric fuck ton of salt.

...And yet not as much as if Sylvis/Owen/Axel die. Those are the three deaths that are going to completely floor me. So let's pray to dear RNGoddess so they don't come to pass, mm?

On 6/8/2020 at 1:23 AM, Golb89 said:

Welcome back!

Not like that's saying much though...

So you came back just to roast me. Why must everybody do this?

Dunno: i've achieved some of my best and/or most significant victories in both GFL and AK in that state.

Well, ain't that wonderful. A shame we can't all be so blessed.

(Btw, the setting for that event was a place called Siesta, just saying...)

Siesta?! Japan...!

Yeah, exactly. Damn Martel...!

Just like with chess pieces.

Not like this or the FE games would have anything to do with chess, not in the least...

But you move pieces around a board! It's totally chess!

/s

(I never got this joke, help)

More like 10k coins, actually.

No dude, if anything it's one coin worth a lot of cash.

I probably should, too.

On 6/8/2020 at 2:53 AM, Pengaius said:

You guys wanna go play some football?

I don't get the joke, but any chance is good to make lame memes.

On 6/8/2020 at 9:22 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

I mean, Radiant Dawn flat hates armored units. Or at least it's final two chapters do.

Tauroneo did pretty well there, though.

I recently happened upon a video Mekkah did about how to cheese the chapter on Maddening... which still required a Byleth set up in specific ways to... you know, win while dealing with as little of the enemy as possible in one of those ultra specific LTC strats. Could make the chapter more bearable if you used it as an emergency break.. but to be honest I lost interest partway through the video so I only saw the Silver Snow strat that relied heavily on Seteth (with one Rocky Burdock added to his base stats).

I noticed that one too, but I never watched it.

Leon?

Ding ding ding, we got a winner!

Yeah, it's Leon. It's pretty funny, actually. He gets dialogue in Adel's character arc before his own starts in, like, chapter 10.

I mean, it's why the Falchion Chrom starts with in Awakening has all of 5 mt and only is super against wyverns (as opposed to, you know, Grima), and lacks the restorative power it gets when it gets reblessed. Ergo it's heavily nerfed for much of the game (but at least Chrom can promote separate from the story because the blade is treated as it's own thing).

See, I am correct in every way.

It's also why Ragnell presumably is now breakable and gets thrown by Priam. Either that or Priam is a massive bullshitter about being descended from Ike.

Turns out, Priam was Samto all along.

Well... it's harder to say you're wrong if you just used the spelling you're used to. I mean... it not being a word in English doesn't mean it's not a word does it?

Yeah, exactly. I am always correct. In every way. Me! No one else!

Well, Ghengis Khan did not worry about monogamy nor consent, being a warlord. So he wasn't entirely adverse to taking captured women as brides, or taking brides as gifts. Mind his first wife (who had been an arranged marriage from when she was 10 and he was 9) was also abducted and suffered the same sort of fate by another tribe... which was the pivotal event that put the man who had been Temujin Borjigan on the path of the conqueror when 8 months later he'd been able to conduct his vengeance and rescue her. Indeed the first son she bore him has... debated parentage because of the whole incident, even though he treated the child as his own. It should be noted his first wife's children were the only ones treated as his legitimate heirs, and there were still enough that when we got to the grandchildren, there was enough infighting to carve the Mongol empire into smaller Khanates... ultimately resulting in it's disintegration. So basically, he kind of became the very thing that traumatized him in the first place... on a much grander scale. By which I mean he killed millions of people, took numerous brides of debatable willingness, and otherwise was a nasty piece of work. That said, the likelihood of someone not in the former Mongol empire sharing his bloodline is low unless they've got either slavic, middle Eastern or mainland Asian ancestry. Gif map of Mongol empire in spoiler.

Reveal hidden contents

I just love the fact that there are millions of people in the world who are very distant cousins due to this one dude who couldn't control himself.

Also

Temujin Borjigan

Being an insomniac... I know.

You are? I am sorry...

Either that, or he's treating them like shit in a bid to try and keep them from dying in battle because he does actually care. He is heroically sacrificing his image in a futile effort to make them leave so the fates he foresees cannot occur.

So he's Rudolf, then?

I seem to remember he's responsible for a certain flying unit being in the cells in her downtime.

He's probably forgotten about her at this point. C'mon, don't tell me it would surprise you, coming from him.

Yeah. I mean, we've seen it before. Anything Volcens does is no surprise. The man isn't exactly wise.

He's... he's something all right.

Fayetul Fury

Hah!

This reminds me of something that happened when I was playing Chapter 5 over in Shadow Dragon H5. (cheap self-plugs? I mean why not).

Go ahead, it's a pretty fun thing you're doing. Ukyo is my favorite FE character.

Helcut? More like Helcut-down-in-his-prime-like-a-prize-rose-bush-to-a-drunken-neighbour's-lawnmower.

I can see why they call him Helcut for short. That's kinda helish to pronounce.

At least his death edit's a ten out of ten and not just a case where he accidentally sprayed a whole bottle of ketchup on his face... or maybe it was habenero salsa. That'd explain why he died.

It IS probably my best death edit, all things considered.

So is that soldier there Merlinus' descendant?

Don't even. You'll make me regret not killing him.

Also The Brave and the Bald.

Hahahahahah...

He says, to the woman in the sky who he can't even reach. I swear, his head's as empty on the inside as it is on the outside... if you get me.

......

Well, you just beat Elbert and me both. That was the best bald roast I've seen in a while. Congratulations.

When you realize luck is the best stat in real life because it lets you do things like this in games where it isn't the best stat.

Funny how that works, no?

This guy has anger issues.

He has bigger issues right now. Like the fact that he's bald. And the fact that he's dead. But mostly the fact that he's bald.

I apologize to any bald readers. And also to 10% of the cast of Vision Quest. Alongside its creator.

Chapter 5 flashback part 2.

...Now I have to wonder exactly what happened there.

Either that, or Feruz hid it on the other side of the river so his men wouldn't take it. Which was why he was so adverse to them attacking while being so blatantly aggressive. See he didn't want them to see it, but he had no problem with himself crossing the river because that wouldn't tip them off... apart from the one guy who had the sense to stay back. Not that it mattered, because even if he figured it out, Thaddy would have taken it by the time it was safe for him to take it.

Maybe it's a mixture of both: Volcens employed Feruz to hide his coin because he was afraid Reese would steal it. Knowing his crew would try to take it, Feruz hid it in a chest across the river. And then Thaddy stole it for Reese. Thus, it became a case of self-fulfilling paranoia.

The way he turned red... is this supposed to be burns, or is it just the anger manifesting and causing a fatal heart attack?

It was my (bad) attempt to convey death by electric burns, but I like the idea that his head exploded from sheer anger better.

The funny part is, unlike Merlinus... his caution of traps was well placed. Literally resulted in all his comrades dying when they ignored him. Then again... if he screams about it as much as Merlinus, or even a tenth as much... maybe it was a mercy killing.

You're making Feruz out to be a sympathetic villain. Not that he has much character anyway.

When we finally get that inevitable fan game with Serenes Forest users... and Ruben inevitably kills everyone he ever threatened to kill in an LP of it.

I better not hear that any of you kills me! You all better recruit and use me. In that order.

On 6/10/2020 at 1:09 AM, Golb89 said:

[Old replies]

It's a glove, it's explicitely stated in the comic too.

(She DID have problems at her hands though according to her lore)

(And yes, apparently in Arknights "standard" cats are unknown mysterious creatures... yet "standard" dogs aren't)

Ah.

TLP IS unfinished, flawed AND dead, meaning it'll always remain like that.

I know we're never going to agree on this, but I still fail to see why you insist on calling TLP unfinished. You keep using that word, but I can't understand what you mean by it. It is flawed, for sure. Dead, yeah, okay, it's not being worked on anymore. I can give you that much.

Unfinished? Heck no. It's a game with a clear beginning, a clear development and a clear end for both its story and its gameplay (and a postgame for good measure). You can call them bad and ugly, and I can accept that, but as far as I know, that is the definition of complete - to have all the parts necessary to create a full experience. TLP has all the parts, thus it's complete. Incomplete is something like, for example, Midnight Sun, where the game abruptly ends without a conclusion to its story or a final challenge to its gameplay.

What I'm trying to say is, completion has nothing to do with quality. They're two different things, but you seem to be using the terms interchangeably, unless I've misunderstood something.

TLP is flawed, I agree, but if flaws make a game "unfinished" somehow, then literally all games in existence are unfinished, because every game has flaws. Please tell me I'm misintepreting your arguments, because so far all I've gotten out of your replies is "flaws = unfinished", and with all due respect, to brush away all the efforts of game developers because there are flaws in their games seems quite disrespectful to me. Say it like it is, man. Call it bad if you will, but don't be so condescending as to pretend they haven't worked hard enough on their stuff.

...I apologize for getting so incensed. It just frustrates me to see a project that clearly had so much passion and effort put into it being bashed and demeaned in such a disdainful way. I probably have misinterpreted your intent, anyway. I'm sorry.

(Not like i have much hope about GFL's flaws being fixed either, quite the opposite in fact, but at least it's still ongoing and steadily being worked on)

I can't judge GFL because I haven't played it, nor will I ever. Personally, I find the idea of calling a gacha better than any regular game (even an, ahem, "unfinished" fangame such as TLP) to be completely ridiculous, but that's just me.

My point was that i came to GFL for the waifus and stayed for the ~~story~~ gameplay (and then also the story) though, and to a lesser extent the same applies to AK (though the story there is so poorly written/translated that it's basically an hindrance to everything else)

~~Gee, it's almost as if AK's story was unfinished or something.~~ I'm so sorry, no really I am.

I'm sorry, but it's already difficult enough to get me to bother with TV shows and animes. You're never going to convince me to watch your typical "lewd humor fanservice tropefest" routine. With games it's different, but if I'm going to "watch" something, I want to be sure I'll enjoy it, and that is not what I enjoy at all.

Well, they give her 22 base armor anyway.

Also -100 dignity for using fidget spinners. Hah!

I thought she was YOUR favorite character... at least until you left her in that spot to get slaughtered by a random wall-phasing swordman passing by.

Wait, how ever did you get that idea? I really like Czene, but she's far from my favorite. Heck, I've already said who my top 3 are! Multiple times!

That those guys don't move.

Ah.... bwahahahaha, okay, now I get it.

It's actually much worse than how it looks: i've aced the last 2 story events with no casualties (ok, 1 casualty) but i still wouldn't dare to attempt that one map (especially since i'd basically gain nothing from it now anyway)

Wait, so that map is horrible, and it also yields nothing of value? That's... pretty awful design.

To be fair, her accuracy is actually at the lower end for Rifles' standards even after her upgrade, and since they can't equip PEQs to mitigate that 90% accuracy debuff during nightime it's VERY unlikely she could have hit an evasive target like the one who turned ~~Rope~~ Czene into kebab...

......

...Okay, here is a friendly reminder that I know absolutely nothing about those games. Now, with that in mind, what is a PEQ, what is the usual accuracy of rifles, why is there an accuracy debuff during nighttime, how often does nighttime happen anyway, how does one upgrade units in that game...

Alternatively, pancakes will do.

Ah.

...throwing pancakes. Wonderful.

Incidentally, the Rhodes Island in Arknights is actually a giant boat (basically, an ark... which is filled with "animals")

But... why Rhodes Island? Why not, I don't know, Butte?

Yeah, that's an actual place, I'm not even kidding.

[Addendum]

Yeah, I don't get it. I probably would if I knew what that enemy is or does, but as it is...

Auf wiedersehen:

Spoiler

Last time, we barely survived my sleep-deprived leadership. Today, we go tell Weyl that we only got three captives back alive.

Rcymypww o Thanks to you, I was able to keep this disaster from getting out of hand.

Meoilxpy o I did not do anything personally. Save those words for my soldiers the next time you see them.

9qk5ifz8 o Words that should be said after every sidequest, but I suppose it would get annoying after the first few times.

Rcymypww o I will, sir. I know it may not have been very important to them, but it was to us. Here, we all pooled together what we could to say thanks.

I imagine this sum changes depending on how many Imperials were recaptured, considering it's impossible to ransom them the old-fashioned way.

Ps4nmuuw o Mr. Weyl, you may be interested to know that this debacle was not exactly your fault.

Meoilxpy o What do you mean, Tianna?

Ps4nmuuw o Our scouts investigated the origin of the rock that caused the incident. It was reported that signs of human tampering were clearly seen on the cliffside above the pass.

Meoilxpy o ......

Ps4nmuuw o Not only that, but after the prisoners made their escape, one of the guards went missing in action... However, the reports say nothing of the guard being taken hostage by any of the fugitives.

Jy7pv44f o

Lgjkwhcy o You know, that's still very much Weyl's fault for being unable to notice there was a traitor among his dudes. I mean, c'mon, I'm a terrible tactician and yet it's never happened to m-- oh, wait, right...

Rcymypww o T-That can't... That can't be...!

Meoilxpy o Then this entire ordeal with the escaped prisoners was planned?

Ps4nmuuw o Yes, it seems very likely that that is the case. It is believed this guard may have been ordered by someone to aid the prisoners in escaping.

Meoilxpy o That is concerning...

Lgjkwhcy o I wonder who is behind this. It sure would be crap if it was left unresolved.

9qk5ifz8 o ...Well, they never bring this particular business up again, but there's one person who is very likely to be the culprit. More on that later.

Meoilxpy o However, there is little we can do on mere speculation and circumstantial evidence, I'm afraid.

Rcymypww o Of course, Lord Reese.

That was painless enough. Let's go deliver the bald man's body and then be on our way to the next chapter.

Yeah, you do that, Valery.

Yeah, yeah, c'mon. The dough.

Ahaha, money!

Let's go. Chapter 6, here we come.

Uhhh, fancy house! Who does it belong to?

Well, for starters, here's a new character. And, of course, who else could "Grandfather" be but...

Pobpolog o I understand, Enid... But there is nothing I can do. My hands are tied.

R9revija o What are you talking about?! Lebron is only a few days' ride away from this city! You could easily send help to her!

Pobpolog o My soldiers... cannot be spared. Protecting this city comes first, and I do not have enough men to protect it and to send to Lebron.

Lgjkwhcy o Whoa, whoa, Enid! Jeez, the poor guy's probably sad enough about it as it is... it's most likely Volcens's fault, anyway.

Pobpolog o ......

Uhh, Catherine? Quality waifu. Best in Three Houses, as far as I'm concerned, with Leonie and Shamir not far behind. What, did you expect anything else? Did you expect me to say Bernadetta or something like that? Hah, that'd be a fun plottwist, but alas, I'm afraid Bernie's more on the "ignored and then coldly murdered" camp.

Ahem, I'm sorry. Kaga Did Catherine First! This is, what, the fourth name they stole from KagaSaga? Tsk, tsk... What do you mean, they're common names? Shut your mouth! Lord Kaga does everything first!

Y8ew3fye o I would never let any harm come to my dear elder sister.

Pobpolog o Don't be ridiculous, Vanmilion! You have your orders! His Majesty

Lgjkwhcy o See? Of course it's him. If you look deep enough, Volcens is always the core of every problem.

Pobpolog o needs all soldiers to remain here for his protection!

Lgjkwhcy o I thought he had like ten thousand troops directly under his command! How come he can't spare your own guys for a day?

Y8ew3fye o But... Father...!

Pobpolog o That's enough from you! Return to your station!

R9revija o Uncle Vanmilion...

Gee, I wonder whose help he will enlist.

Pobpolog o Enid, my dear, I understand the pain you must feel. I know it all too well... But you are a child of Narvia, a realm of warriors and knights. Do not let your pain cause you to bring dishonor upon this house.

Lgjkwhcy o ...Okay, that's... a weird thing to say in this situation...

R9revija o Grandfather...

Ahhh, there we go. How long has it been? Let me check my clock... I don't have a clock. My phone, then... ah, there we go... 10 seconds? Yup, 10 seconds. That's how long it took. It's probably taken me longer to write this sentence than it took Reese to conveniently show up to help everyone with their problems.

Pobpolog o Lord Reese? My apologies, but I am preoccupied at the moment. Whatever it is will have to wait until a later time.

Pobpolog o Lebron?! Who told you of such a...?

Pobpolog o ...I see. Vanmilion. That selfish fool...

Txzubig9 o Bwahahahah... This scene is hilarious. It literally was 10 seconds between Vanmilion leaving and Reese arriving! What the heck happened there?

Quote

Blast... what am I to do... wait, is that Lord Reese just passing by, down there on the street?

HEY! LORD REESE!

Eh...? Ah, it's Lord Vanmilion, up there in the window.

LORD VANMILION? IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?

WE NEED HELP, LORD REESE!

SAY NO MORE! I'M ON MY WAY!

QUIT YELLING, YA WHIPPERSNAPPERS! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

AXES!

Meoilxpy o Duke Roswick, my knights and I can be ready at a moment's notice! Just give me the order!

Pobpolog o The Empire has already surrounded the city and is closing in quickly. With their presence, it's not even possible to go to Lebron anymore.

R9revija o Grandfather, I know of a hidden route to enter the city of Lebron. I will guide Lord Reese there!

Pobpolog o Enid?!

R9revija o Grandfather... If you do nothing else for me ever again, please just allow me to do this! Please, let me go! Grandfather!

Pobpolog o Once she has decided something, there is no talking her out of it... Lord Reese... Take care of her.

Bs8nwu8m o Very well, Your Grace. I will take care of her. Come here, little girl. Time to breathe your last!

R9revija o Ah! Grandfather...!?

Pobpolog o Lord Reese! What in the world did you think I meant by "take care of her"?!

Bs8nwu8m o I thought it was like when you sent me to take care of those brigands, or when you ordered me to take care of the Bornian invaders, or when--

Pobpolog o That is enough, Lord Reese... What I want you to do is protect her on the battlefield. To keep her alive. Understand?

Meoilxpy o Oh.

R9revija o .......

Meoilxpy o Yes, Your Grace! On the honor of the Knights of Sinon, I will defend her and rescue Duchess Catherine!

Pobpolog o However, if you cannot both rescue the citizens and escape before the enemy arrives, you must flee. If you do not, then you too will be captured by the Imperial invasion.

9qk5ifz8 o Please. Who do you think we are, Roswick? Of COURSE we'll save all the citizens! A tactics point hangs in the balance!

Meoilxpy o I understand, Your Grace. I shall go and make preparations. Excuse me...

Pobpolog o It goes without saying, Enid, but you must take care not to be a burden to Lord Reese. You are no soldier.

R9revija o I am a child of Narvia, a realm of warriors and knights, am I not?

Txzubig9 o Pffhahah! Roswick got rekt.

R9revija o And I will have my sword with me, which Father taught me to use.

Pobpolog o Don't be absurd! The last thing you should be doing on this mission is fighting!

9qk5ifz8 o Ohohohoho... you clearly have no idea how worthwhile it is to give her levels. Oh yeah, spoiler alert, she's playable. More on that next update.

Pobpolog o Lord Reese is a trained knight, and even for him there is no certainty that he will survive. Do you honestly believe your simple fencing lessons will do you any good? What could you possibly do to help Lord Reese in battle, let alone hold your own against the enemy?

R9revija o Even so, if he can save Mother and the people of Lebron...

Pobpolog o W-What?! No, I forbid it...!

Lgjkwhcy o Keep in mind that Catherine is Duke Warrenheit's wife. In other words, Enid has already lost a parent and Roswick has already lost a son. The only question is, what in the world was Enid doing in Narvia while her parents were getting left behind in the Lowlands?

R9revija o Excuse me, Grandfather, but I have preparations to make!

Pobpolog o And here I thought you were still just a mere child...

Pobpolog o Like mother, like daughter... A child of Saint Leia indeed...

That was cryptic... but never mind that, it's time for the letter of the chapter!

Reese sent you what? But he has no feelings... and Ward hates girls, so it couldn't be him... ah, Tianna probably slipped it in the envelope before sending it.

19gazxsi o I have included some priscia blossoms with this letter.

Lgjkwhcy o Which have no doubt withered away after months on the road.

19gazxsi o Do you recall when I first came to Sinon? You invited me to join you on a horse ride, though I was too scared to open my eyes as we galloped along. But once we stopped, I peeked them open...

19gazxsi o And it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen! A wondrous sunset overlooking an endless field of wild priscias.

19gazxsi o My heart was filled with sorrow during those days when I had first lost my parents, but you held me close and comforted me with your kindness...

19gazxsi o I will always cherish that memory of our time together.

Lgjkwhcy o He's probably forgotten already.

19gazxsi o After selling off a handful of unnecessary things, I've managed to gather up some more funds for your mission.

19gazxsi o May Mother Veria bless you in all that you do.

19gazxsi o Love, Lynette.

Yes! Money! It's not Dad funds this time, but Sister funds are good too.

Sister in heat, to be precise. No, I'm not going to drop it, it's the most ridiculous thing about this game and I have to complain about SOMETHING, don't I?

Anyway, Stubborn as Norton. I wonder what this is all about.

Ps4nmuuw o Hello, Mr. Danton. Things appear to be going smoothly here at the atelier these days.

Ilrbpdns o Y-Yeah... Thanks to your help.

Ps4nmuuw o Is something the matter?

Ilrbpdns o To be honest, we're coming close to running out of mithril...

Ps4nmuuw o Mithril? Do you mean the metal?

Lgjkwhcy o No, he means the rock band. I mean, what else could he mean, Tianna? How many things out there are called "mithril"?

Ilrbpdns o You got it. It's only found in tiny veins in the earth, and it's devilishly hard to process properly. Needless to say, the world's always in short supply, but we've got it bad. Recently, we lost contact with the mine that delivers our mithril. Haven't gotten a shipment in ages.

Ps4nmuuw o I wish there were something I could do to help...

Ilrbpdns o Mithril, of course. A sword made entirely of mithril!

Ps4nmuuw o Lord Vanmilion does require the best equipment for his duties...

Ilrbpdns o Here I thought I'd had just enough to make it for him, but it turns out I've barely got the mithril for half that!

Lgjkwhcy o How do you miscalculate that badly, Danton? Maybe that's what happens when you accept the paycheck without thinking about anything other than the dough, eh, Danton?

Ilrbpdns o I've really bitten off more than I can chew this time... Even my last hope failed me this time.

Ps4nmuuw o Your last hope?

Ps4nmuuw o Ah, I see. The Imperial invasion in Lebron would certainly put a damper on that plan.

Ilrbpdns o Oh, it's hopeless...

Ps4nmuuw o ...No, I believe there is still hope.

Ilrbpdns o What do you mean?

Ps4nmuuw o Lord Reese

Ilrbpdns o Ah, of course, I get it. Thanks, Lady Tianna! You're a real life-saver!

Ps4nmuuw o You're welcome, Mr. Danton. I can't make any promises, but--

Lgjkwhcy o Hold up, hold up! What are you doing? We gotta follow the script! I know we do this every single time, but that's just what the text says. Carry on, Tianna.

Ilrbpdns o ...Why do you keep bringing that madman along everywhere you go?

Ps4nmuuw o Orders from Lord Reese... I wish I knew what goes through both of their heads.

Ps4nmuuw o Lord Reese of Sinon will be headed to Lebron very soon in order to rescue the citizens still there. If this man Gonzij is still there, the Sinon Knights may just run into him during the evacuation. I will request that if they do come across him, they take the mithril on your behalf and bring it here.

Ilrbpdns o That's wonderful! You're the greatest, Lady Tianna.

Ps4nmuuw o I cannot make any promises, but I pray that everything works out well.

Lgjkwhcy o Oof... That's a seriously wonky line. Where did that come from?

Ilrbpdns o I certainly hope you're right! I wouldn't want to bother Lord Reese with an errand he cares not about...

9qk5ifz8 o You just prepare a reward, my man, and I assure you he'll care.

Xeidivye o

Next up is the peddler's request.

Not wasting any time here, are we? Also, that man can't see through his eyebrows.

Ps4nmuuw o Have you not heard? If you have business in Lebron, I must suggest you reconsider.

85plsoz5 o What do you mean?

Ps4nmuuw o The Empire is on its way to invade Lebron as we speak. Within a matter of days, the town will become a battlefield.

85plsoz5 o Oh, how unfortunate...

Ps4nmuuw o Why did you need to go there?

85plsoz5 o I was actually on my way to pick up a gift for my granddaughter's wedding. After she lost her parents to the war, I took her in and raised her myself. She's such a wonderful girl, and I'm so proud of her.

Ps4nmuuw o That's very sweet of you, but again, going to Lebron would only recklessly endanger your life.

85plsoz5 o If it means being able to give my granddaughter the very best, then it's well worth the risk. I want to do sometihng nice for her, something that I couldn't afford for her when she was young... This may be the last time I have the chance to celebrate for her like this...

Ps4nmuuw o Sir, if you did go to Lebron, where would you find this hairpin?

85plsoz5 o It's at the jeweler's shop. It's already paid for in advance, so it just needs to be picked up.

Ps4nmuuw o That sounds simple enough. I know of a group of knights who are headed to Lebron very soon.

85plsoz5 o You really mean it?!

Ps4nmuuw o I do not know what kind of situation Lebron is in, so I can't say for sure...

85plsoz5 o Even so, I'm grateful! Thank you so much, for my granddaughter's sake...

Ps4nmuuw o I pray that the knights will be able to retrieve it for you.

Pretty wholesome! Now, for the last sidequest... hmm, unforgettable, eh? I'll be the judge of that.

You look quite different from the usual kinds of people that request favors from us.

Meoilxpy o Yes, I am he... And you are?

Tkygas8r o My name is Barselphon. I have heard many rumors about your impeccable character, Lord Reese. I have been hoping I might be able to run into you here.

Meoilxpy o ...Then I presume there is something you wish to talk to me about?

Tkygas8r o Indeed. I can do nothing about this issue at the moment... But for you, Lord Reese... Well, please listen to my plea. ...But let us not talk here. Please, come to my home.

Nice place. Looks kinda barren, though...

Tkygas8r o There is no easy way to say this... I am a knight in self-imposed exile from the Raze Empire.

Meoilxpy o Self-imposed exile?

Tkygas8r o Yes... And that regards what I wish to speak to you about, Lord Reese.

Meoilxpy o ...I'm listening.

Tkygas8r o As I will inherit neither title nor territory, this was my natural course of action to take to secure a legacy. And there was one who stood by my side throughout it all... Her name was Minas. She was a knight like me. We quickly became close friends... Soon, I made a pledge to her that we would share our futures together.

Meoilxpy o ......

Tkygas8r o However, one day, our companionship was torn apart...

Tkygas8r o By this point, Minas and I had begun to question the Raze Army's justice after all the atrocities they wrought... So I decided we should chance it by running away together to Narvia, far out of the Count's clutches. However, there were reasons that prevented her from leaving...

Meoilxpy o These reasons being?

Tkygas8r o Primarily, it was because her mother was suffering from a terrible illness. Count Theodore took advantage of this weakness and coerced Minas into showing him favor.

Tkygas8r o ...And eventually, I was replaced.

Uedfz3v4 o Cowardly Theodore! Underhanded tactics! That's a line Roy said, if you can't remember.

Meoilxpy o ......

Tkygas8r o I know Minas is not a bad person. I still believe in her, and I would never want to cause her distress... But Theodore has manipulated her mind with his wickedness. He has forced her into needing him. He's the kind of man who would stop at nothing to keep Minas to himself.

Lgjkwhcy o It's Saul if he was even remotely good at being a stalker, then?

Tkygas8r o If I tried to interfere, who knows what he'd do to Minas's mother just to make her more dependent on him... That's why I went far away, all the way here to Narvia.

Meoilxpy o ...And you're all right with that?

Tkygas8r o I don't know...

Lgjkwhcy o Not really, to be honest... it's a pretty shitty tale.

Tkygas8r o Recently, I have done nothing but while away the hours in lethargy... However... Just the other day, I received word from her mother. In her letter, she revealed that she would not be long for this world. On her deathbed, she lamented how Minas suffered from the dangers of the war and of Count Theodore's lust. But here in Narvia, she would be safe, and we could seek our loving future together once again.

Lgjkwhcy o Eh, I don't know... We do have Volcens. What's worst, this Count Theodore of yours or Volcens? 'Cause I'm inclined to say it's Volcens.

Tkygas8r o However, given her own condition and Minas's current state, she was unable to tell her of this. Therefore, she pleaded for me to find Minas myself and liberate her from Count Theodore's clutches.

Meoilxpy o ...And how does this involve me?

Tkygas8r o It's a selfish request, I know... But now that I've gone rogue from the Razite Army, I can't go back. I have no choice but to depend on someone else to perhaps find Minas for me...

9qk5ifz8 o D'awwww... No need to butter us up, mate. Just prepare a fine reward, and we'll be on it.

Tkygas8r o And I have heard whispers that her company will soon arrive in Lebron. I beg of you, if you happen to come across Lady Minas in battle...

Meoilxpy o I understand. I can't go out of my way to do so, but I will pass on your word if the opportunity arises.

Tkygas8r o This is wonderful to hear! I cannot thank you enough. I knew I could count on you. Here, this will help you...

Tkygas8r o Indeed, Lord Reese.

Txzubig9 o ...why haven't we thought of that one before!? Nets! We can use nets to capture instead of relying on the RNG cripplings! You're a genius, Barselphony!

Meoilxpy o This seems rather excessive...

Tkygas8r o As I said, Minas's mind has been manipulated by Count Theodore for many months now. It's regrettable, but for her own good, these means will likely be necessary...

All right, that's... weird. But I'm sure we can trust this complete stranger, just as we've trusted every complete stranger that has asked us to do things for them thus far.

Boom! Collage of recruitment!

And it's prepping time! I know nobody cares, but let's do it anyway. Reese buys a plain horse.

A rapier for Ruby, since she can use it.

Clifford-- oh! Oh! Oh!

AHAHAHAHAH! YES! FINALLY, A LANCE! Oh, I so look forward to putting that baby to good use...!

Anyway, Marcel picks up a blade so he can do hefty damages.

Axes for Daoud and Axel...

...oaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! What is this?

...BWAAHAHAHAH! WHAT IS THIS!? Is it... UNLIMITED POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!?

...hey! Oi! I'm watching you, Brightbow! You're probably thinking of some way to argue that this is a shitty investment and that I shouldn't bother.

Too bad, because I've already crafted it.

This is going to be so much fun against the right enemy.

And even if we, God forbid, lose Sylvis... we can just sell it. The crafting fee was 1500, so we'll gain a fine profit from it. However, I do hope it won't come to that.

Anyway, Clifford picks up a bag, Sylvis picks up arrows, and...

...I load a save, because I didn't remember to buy a couple things I need.

Namely, a escapestone and a vanishstone. I have a plan for next chapter. One that will probably fail horribly, but hey, let me try to pretend to be a good player for once, okay?

I buy largely the same things, sacrificing whatever didn't make much of a difference. In exchange for Sylvis's 10th pack of arrows and Clifford's unnecessary mithril spear, we've gained a brand new thunder tome for Owen to miss with and a round of vulneraries for everyone.

And there we have it. Next time, it's main mission time again. I can only hope it goes half as well as the last main mission. Either case, please take the necessary measures to ensure that your conditions, emotional and physical, are as favorable as humanly possible, which is to say, farewell!

Death count: Christine
Esteban
Czene

* Unavailable

Capture count: 0

Reset count: 1 (Ward: 1)

Current perfect streak: 1 map

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

The Roger The Paladin · June 11, 2020

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's what you get for being a condescending idiot. There are better ways to dissuade a person from fighting than telling them "women bad at fighting, go to kitchen and prepare sandwich". That's just going to make them want to prove you wrong.

Like reminding them they're bad at fighting with a slap like Clifford? Or trying to not let them fight by not letting them join the army in the first place like Ward? When you think about it, no one seems to know how to gently talk people out of an idea in this game.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ha. To be fair, I probably would've fallen for it in a normal day, too. Not that it matters. As I've said before, I like the song.

Spoiler

What about this version?

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, it's Leon. It's pretty funny, actually. He gets dialogue in Adel's character arc before his own starts in, like, chapter 10.

Thought so. I mean, it seems to fit with the red knight/green knight thing for one of them to have that sort of approach to things. See Kreiss and Arkis last game, or even Kent and Sain's supports in FE7 (where Sain gives Kent advice on getting with Lyn). Personally, I like the dynamic when it's there... not that I miss it over-much when it's absent.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Turns out, Priam was Samto all along.

If I ever get round to New Mystery, I'm going to inevitably use Samto as a sort of spiritual successor to the Ukyo gag. Don't think I won't. I've done stupider things for a joke.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, exactly. I am always correct. In every way. Me! No one else!

Why does this remind me of the old Donald Duck theme?

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I just love the fact that there are millions of people in the world who are very distant cousins due to this one dude who couldn't control himself.

Also

Not to mention millions of people who literally died because of him. He caused so many deaths, it's believed that he set climate change back a significant amount. There's a reason he's historically significant. He was one of the most successful dictators of all time, taking over a large portion of the Eurasian landmass, and building it into an empire that would last until after his death. He wasn't around to witness it coming apart. If Karma is truly a thing, the man dodged it like a pro.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You are? I am sorry...

I have made some use of the condition. When I can't sleep, my sleep deprived brain has ideas... some of which I'd never have in a fully awake state. As long as I can remember them when I'm in a fully awake state, I can expand them into something else. Plans for maps in Fire Emblem, ideas for stories, song parodies, devices. The stray thoughts in that unfocused state can be converted by my more conscious self into something useful. Downside is, it really sucks the fun out of the rest of the day when it acts up.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So he's Rudolf, then?

Rudolf sacrificed more than his image. He sacrificed his life. Catch is his plan made significantly less sense than Ward's.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He's probably forgotten about her at this point. C'mon, don't tell me it would surprise you, coming from him.

Which would honestly explain why he never becomes aware in the event she dies out on a map. Well played Kaga.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Go ahead, it's a pretty fun thing you're doing. Ukyo is my favorite FE character.

A fun little fact with Ukyo is that before playing the chapter, I had no idea what animations I'd been using... so I took screenshots of him using the dodge (a sidestep from Samurai Shodown 3, the game I took the sprites from), his desperation attack (a severely damaging attack that can be used when low on health), and one of his palette swaps. The idea being to have him with his alternate palette if he attacked as an enemy, the dodge if he avoided something (obviously), and of course the desperation attack in the event he procced a crit. I even went so far as to get a death quote ready. In the event I never use any of it, and finish the game, I'll probably finish off the whole thing with some of those.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Don't even. You'll make me regret not killing him.

Let's be fair. Even if it's the case, the problem is Merlinus was always saying it was a trap except when it was. This guy said it when it actually was, so even if he cried wolf ten thousand times, he was vindicated this once. Which is more than can be said for Merlinus.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Maybe it's a mixture of both: Volcens employed Feruz to hide his coin because he was afraid Reese would steal it. Knowing his crew would try to take it, Feruz hid it in a chest across the river. And then Thaddy stole it for Reese. Thus, it became a case of self-fulfilling paranoia.

Oedipus' more wholesome cousin. Both involved a self-fulfilling prophecy/paranoia and the crossing of a river resulting in the fulfillment. The difference here is Reese isn't involved in incest with an actual blood-relative. Something Kaga didn't do first for once.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It was my (bad) attempt to convey death by electric burns, but I like the idea that his head exploded from sheer anger better.

How many parallels were there between those two updates? They both involved sleep deprivation, using someone on a wyvern to cross a river and deal with potential threats, annoying archers, a high percent hit that could have been fatal if it missed, a round of combat where both parties dodged (rather unexpectedly) and the boss dying of an electric attack from a healer/magic user.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I better not hear that any of you kills me! You all better recruit and use me. In that order.

What happens if you Ironman it and kill yourself? Kind of like all your fanfics. I mean, is there one where you haven't died yet in some way shape or form?

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You're making Feruz out to be a sympathetic villain. Not that he has much character anyway.

Well, it'd explain why he was so irritable. Or maybe suicidal. Or both. Sides, I like to write stupid explanations where there's no need for one.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Well, they never bring this particular business up again, but there's one person who is very likely to be the culprit. More on that later.

Valery?

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sister in heat, to be precise. No, I'm not going to drop it, it's the most ridiculous thing about this game and I have to complain about SOMETHING, don't I?

Still more wholesome than Oedipus.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's Saul if he was even remotely good at being a stalker, then?

I think this goes beyond stalking into full blown abuse of power/abusive relationship territory. And I mean both. As sad as it is, a successful stalker... is still just a stalker.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...why haven't we thought of that one before!? Nets! We can use nets to capture instead of relying on the RNG cripplings! You're a genius, Barselphony!

Someone call Gilbert. Kaga did A Net first.

Punished Dayni · June 11, 2020

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahah... well, I'll play devil's advocate for once and say that the bad performance doesn't matter all that much in a strategy game. It's pretty damn pathetic that a game so ugly runs so poorly, but it doesn't impact the gameplay, so there's that.

Well, they definitely would've had more time and budget to spend on less routes. But I get what you're saying. Wouldn't surprise me if they ran out of time way earlier and chose to put more routes in hopes that people wouldn't bash them for lack of content that way.

Kind of disheartening that "having better ending maps" and some lore that could've easily been fit into the other routes is supposed to be a justification for pouring an extra 100 hours into the game.

Then again, what do I know. I only played half of Claude's route. That's really the problem for me. I'd be willing to find out if they really are as bad as I imagine they are, but... yeah, I don't want to waste 100 hours of my life based on the chance that the routes might just be good after all.

I'm amazed it lagged when entering DP. I was so surprised I'm pretty sure I checked again to be sure. So it did impact gameplay. Also, I know I don't see it quite as ugly as you do, but...

Sad news, it didn't take me long to find a game that might be uglier (I haven't hit performance drops yet, but other than that.....). Look at Daemon Ex Machina, look at how it presents itself and then go "there for teh grace of animu did not go 3H". At least the mechs control nicely enough, though I fear it'll come to a point where I'm only playing it for a lark, at which point I'll need someone else to suffer with.

I gave ending maps as an example. :P I'm going to have to revise the whole game so I should have more as part of my rewrite because I am not going through more playthroughs right now. The amount of overlap is a serious issue with each Part 2 and I feel like some choices are strange (Why is Arianrhod a paralogue in AM?).

Most time I took on a route was my first at 90 and that was me playing as blindly as I could. Not having a Branch of Fate like option for Part 2 was a disappointment personally because unlike in Fates I would have absolutely gone for it.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, that's pretty cool! Perhaps I'll check it out. If you can make Byleth even slightly tolerable, you'll have done a better job than IntSys.

Alright, but fair warning: I don't know that I'll succeed with doing that.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oof... I'm so sorry... I wasn't quite as brave as you. I spent three months there, nearly sunk into a depression and noped the hell outta there.

I struggled with a masters course for two years and only got a HDip out of it. Not a badly marked one mind, but I was just dead inside.

Did you know SoV was one of the first things I did afterwards? Maybe that explains some of my opinions.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, I guess so... I mean, that's the most generic spanish greeting in existance. It's not exactly a Joey trademark, y'know?

It kinda is one of Joey's though. How you doin', to be precise.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sheesh...

Went in having not slept at all that night (The sun was rising. I know it's June and I'm at a higher latitude, but still), decided to do it.

I don't think this map is amazing (I was able to stay mostly in the centre), but it was a fun experience trying to beat the boss with as little of their BS as possible. Because there is some BS there.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know what? I can understand your opinion. It's a pretty slow soundtrack. I find it to be pretty epic, but if you're more fond of something like Echoes or Three Houses, I can see why you wouldn't like this one.

Then again, I also like Echoes's and Three Houses's soundtracks, so I suppose liking them all is not impossible.

The bottom-line is, okay, that is fine. You're entitled to your own opinion. ~~Even if it's wrong because it's not the same as mine.~~

Feels weird being considered a black knight.

So, let's talk music. Berwick is probably better than a couple of other soundtracks too, just that PoR is an easy one to use due to the comparisons already made and PoR is I think the worst musically. It's not going to be better than Genealogy though, which is my favourite pre-modern FE soundtrack. SoV currently sits on top and 3H is below Genealogy (GASP. Although that might change, the Thunder tracks have made a compelling reason for me to do so.), so this should give you an idea of where I'm at.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The fact it took this long to see and that the horse HP meter was so easy to miss? I'm not gonna lie, that kind of thing concerns me about Berwick as a whole.

You know, there's actually a bunch of very in-depth tutorials in this game, the "tactical hints". Both these things are probably explained there. Not so sure about the provoke statboost, but the horse HP is there, I am certain of it. The only problem is, I'm too impatient to sit and read tutorials, so I've never done so. That's why I'm learning the game on the fly as I go.

My point is, this is on me, not on the game. The game provides the means to know these things, I just never bothered. I will admit, though, walls of text aren't exactly the most fun way to teach game mechanics. But the explanations are there.

Ah, reading. Words end up blending together sometimes and I am a relatively patient reader.

As for horse HP, it's just a problem I had.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The image? The response? Or the poke on the dick? Please don't poke people on the dick.

The image, I have to find a way to use it.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, for starters, here's a new character. And, of course, who else could "Grandfather" be but...

I understand, Enid... But there is nothing I can do. My hands are tied.

So wait, Vanmillion's her uncle?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I would never let any harm come to my dear elder sister.

I guess so.

~~On 3H, Falcoknight Catherine's really good. Critical for that finale in SS where I used all the faculty.~~

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahhh, there we go. How long has it been? Let me check my clock... I don't have a clock. My phone, then... ah, there we go... 10 seconds? Yup, 10 seconds. That's how long it took. It's probably taken me longer to write this sentence than it took Reese to conveniently show up to help everyone with their problems.

Bs8nwu8m o Misery calls to me.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

HEY! LORD REESE!

Eh...? Ah, it's Lord Vanmilion, up there in the window.

LORD VANMILION? IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?

WE NEED HELP, LORD REESE!

SAY NO MORE! I'M ON MY WAY!

QUIT YELLING, YA WHIPPERSNAPPERS! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

MY APOLOGIES OLD MAN

Jadofpfd o Damm youngins, I'm not old, I'm 36.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The Empire has already surrounded the city and is closing in quickly. With their presence, it's not even possible to go to Lebron anymore.

Covid's really fucking with Lebron James apparently.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Please. Who do you think we are, Roswick? Of COURSE we'll save all the citizens! A tactics point hangs in the balance!

Need I point to Chapter 5?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I am a child of Narvia, a realm of warriors and knights, am I not?

Pffhahah! Roswick got rekt.

Pobpolog o Dammit she's got me there.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

W-What?! No, I forbid it...!

Keep in mind that Catherine is Duke Warrenheit's wife. In other words, Enid has already lost a parent and Roswick has already lost a son. The only question is, what in the world was Enid doing in Narvia while her parents were getting left behind in the Lowlands?

Maybe she was sent there to be safe when it started looking like Raze would start wrecking house?

That wouldn't be the first time a kid was sent to her grandparents to be safe.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Like mother, like daughter... A child of Saint Leia indeed...

Can she use the force too?

And is Enid really that good?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes! Money! It's not Dad funds this time, but Sister funds are good too.

Sister in heat, to be precise. No, I'm not going to drop it, it's the most ridiculous thing about this game and I have to complain about SOMETHING, don't I?

Reese?

Bs8nwu8m o Yes?

Because I haven't see this other person yet.......

HJ.png.2363cc1bc9bd99235900be81dfe1da9d.png

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I guess mithril is just a common thing in Lebron.

If they're looking for it to be used like this in a time of war......

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As I will inherit neither title nor territory, this was my natural course of action to take to secure a legacy. And there was one who stood by my side throughout it all... Her name was Minas. She was a knight like me. We quickly became close friends... Soon, I made a pledge to her that we would share our futures together.

Oh god, it's that hellspawn I heard about.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Primarily, it was because her mother was suffering from a terrible illness. Count Theodore took advantage of this weakness and coerced Minas into showing him favor.

...And eventually, I was replaced.

Either he's being honest and Theodore is a terrible man......

or he is a liar about what Theodore's been doing and a potential monster himself, which may be why Minas left him........

OR both are horrible people and Minas needs to be free. Point being, a very man-centric perspective here, I feel bad for Minas. Which I shouldn't from what I've heard.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Indeed, Lord Reese.

...why haven't we thought of that one before!? Nets! We can use nets to capture instead of relying on the RNG cripplings! You're a genius, Barselphony!

Option 2 might be right after all.

Also, nets. Sounds like someone should go to jail.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

AHAHAHAHAH! YES! FINALLY, A LANCE! Oh, I so look forward to putting that baby to good use...!

Have you not had a lance before now?

Has it been explained yet then?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...oaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! What is this?

...BWAAHAHAHAH! WHAT IS THIS!? Is it... UNLIMITED POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!?

...hey! Oi! I'm watching you, Brightbow! You're probably thinking of some way to argue that this is a shitty investment and that I shouldn't bother.

The Chu-Ko-Nu got powercrept?

Kaga, what have you done?

At least it's unlikely to double.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I buy largely the same things, sacrificing whatever didn't make much of a difference. In exchange for Sylvis's 10th pack of arrows and Clifford's unnecessary mithril spear, we've gained a brand new thunder tome for Owen to miss with and a round of vulneraries for everyone.

What's wrong with getting Windstorm?

I am appreciating the extra range on Lightning, but still.

eclipse · June 11, 2020

"Hey Mithril is hard to get!"

Sounds like the cue for it to become a somewhat common weapon material later.

BrightBow · June 11, 2020

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Keep in mind that Catherine is Duke Warrenheit's wife. In other words, Enid has already lost a parent and Roswick has already lost a son. The only question is, what in the world was Enid doing in Narvia while her parents were getting left behind in the Lowlands?

Being kept out of harms way, I'd imagine.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sister in heat, to be precise. No, I'm not going to drop it, it's the most ridiculous thing about this game and I have to complain about SOMETHING, don't I?

The game most certainly doesn't do itself any favors by playing them that way.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She is probably not gonna live that one down.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As I said, Minas's mind has been manipulated by Count Theodore for many months now. It's regrettable, but for her own good, these means will likely be necessary...

So Minas is Ravinia then? Too bad Zade didn't have any nets.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...hey! Oi! I'm watching you, Brightbow! You're probably thinking of some way to argue that this is a shitty investment and that I shouldn't bother.

Well, I generally try to avoid using brand new weapons as raw materials, at the very least. But either way, being able to fire 4 arrows of your choice at an enemy at once is pretty handy.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And even if we, God forbid, lose Sylvis... we can just sell it. The crafting fee was 1500, so we'll gain a fine profit from it. However, I do hope it won't come to that.

Not really a profit, considering you had to pay 3040 for the Chu-Ko-Nu already. Not to mention the money you could have gotten by selling the raw materials.

Speaking of Crossbows, it's kinda funny how Radiant Dawn clearly took that weapon type from Berwick, given that they just so happen to share the same "ignores strength" property, yet they are virtually useless there. Feels like IS has a habit of just throwing stuff together without putting any real thought behind it.

Edited June 11, 2020 by BrightBow

Pengaius · June 12, 2020

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't get the joke, but any chance is good to make lame memes.

You were referencing the room my man.

You were supposed to say "In tuxes?" dude.

screenshot lp The League shall fall if I'm in control - A bad tactician plays Berwick Saga, Ironman mode!

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