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The League shall fall if I'm in control - A bad tactician plays Berwick Saga, Ironman mode!


Saint Rubenio
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25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, kinda difficult to put the Amyr in AM when its wielder's death is the last thing that ever happens. Still, I agree for the routes you described. Heck, why not have Claude yield the Failnaught if he's spared in CF? That'd be a reason for the option beyond pure, pointless pandering.

That is a good argument for CF, even though I'd rather only see one per route and because AM gave Failnaught I'd rather it be one per route. Except SS because that should be a lot more Chruch route than it currently is- I'm gonna give the game away at this rate.

I also tried to get Lorenz using Failnaught in my AM run, but because I didn't know that'd happen he had no exp in bows and thus wasn't all that good at it. I had no bow users with crests there either, not helping matters.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If you're referring to the overworld sprite, no, it's not supposed to be a hint to anything.

I meant the armour on the portrait which could still be seen because it's not 100% blacked out.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You're being slower than. Here we already went that far a little while ago. Kinda because without tourism the national economy dies.

Course, I would still argue tourism is far from saved this year. Around here a lot of places won't realistically open at all this year and most that do are going to chafe at the restrictions.

It's better than what's going on in the UK though, which is just depressing.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah yes, having to perform necromancy on your console to be able to use mods. Yet another advantage of PC. Sorry for being such an elitist, but I mean... You can't really argue that PC is better for stuff like mods, mainly because it just plain is.

Ah but there can be fun in modding a console too. Modding a PC mostly just involves the component hunt, while you're unlikely to need to do any software editing (unless you're nor using a popular OS)

This of course ignores modding games themselves.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Gqzqubph o

Last map, we encountered the Phantom Corpse and I still find that typo positively hilarious, though not as much as The Roger The Paladin. Today, we go rescue food. And civilians. Again, the game seems to consider that a funny side-effect of rescuing the food.

These paralogues feel very minor honestly.

What happened with these poor civilians.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

8ixclsho o

See that house in the middle of the map? Rogues (that's the weak dudes with pitchforks) will emerge from it with food. They will attempt to escape. They're covered by a couple of enemies, but cavaliers can reach them from the starting point. The objective is to seize the town's fort, and the more food we recover, the greater bonus we'll be granted. Defending the town is a pack of thieves. Few in number, but in Berwick Saga, that's just a bad omen.

...Yes, there's a hidden archer with overwatch. Get used to it. We'll find more and more as we go.

Overwatch spam is going to happen isn't it.

(Also, I guess it was the trees beside the northern road closer to the cliffs.)

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Peptn4op o

Atop the hill, we find-- Wait... What!?

Ward!?

O9j8vsas o

4yMi9ijH_o.png

Yes, it's definitely him! Ward is with an Imperial troop!? And... Muerthen? That's such an evil-sounding name! It's merely two letters away from "Muerte", which is spanish for "death"! What is going on!?

What is going on here? Did Ward have a brother in Raze all along? Is he as deadly?

His name is to Muerte like Johnathan is to John.

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ecvhrmno oZgffyvbv o

That could be tricky, though. I know that there's a hidden archer here, I remember him. That means Larentia can't just waltz in and skewer the escaping rogue...

Woof.He's got the food too.

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
3mrtti6j o

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffftt...!

I have a speed blessed Derrick. This is blessed. This is a blessed image, folks. Take it in.

Spd blessed armour.

You must be so pleased.

No way he can get a third in a row right?I legit ask the bracketing seems to be broken here.

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
5c69pawe oPtrwunip o

Honestly, Arturo is really good. I don't use him enough.

AND UNLIKE ADEL HE MIGHT PROMOTE SOMETIME IN THE NEXT YEAR

You've been crapping on him a lot, sorry.

37 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Bawysecx o

Ahhhh, but wait! Since he was on the map from the beginning, as opposed to the food thieves who spawned after the map started, he moves first! Therefore, it is now safe for Leon to come in and save the day!

Well that's an AI exploit if I've seen one.

38 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
3cjrhnaw oZorn2ie3 o

Uhh, fancy particles!

>Bitches about particle effects in 3H

>The blur effect from behind the bow is bad too

>"3H hAS AuFfLE GraFiCS BeRWIcK Is PeRFECT

You're saying 3H's is bad, but that blur behind Sylvis kinda is too. Sorry.

Also, I'm pretty sure this doesn't count as a particle effect because it's a sprite animation too.

41 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Uqiiyrph o

I mean, she won the fight, but... Still, that was so underwhelming on so many levels.

Why does he keep dodging?

Why can't any of your army learn this?

Why, Kaga, why?

42 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
W3kchlrt oOhpj0zqu o

...And there's where I fucked up. Once the charm's carrier takes a deadly blow, the charm makes them invincible against any damage until the end of the combat round. Which means he gets to whack Leon twice. Thank goodness he's long since waited... he can't follow up with a finishing strike.

Well, that was a bad idea almost gone awry.

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
M8r9jvoy o

...are you shitting me, Enid?

Enid really didn't like your description of your first level.

45 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
1rgwcfv7 oFijbawi3 o

Muerthen himself has a material. He's also a fantastic fighter. Oh yeah, and in case you forgot, he's still literally Ward. Kaga took the portrait of one of the protagonists, put a helmet on it, and called it a generic enemy portrait. And then he put the portrait on the same class as Ward, too. Amazing. What's next? Are we going to find Reese with a bandana on the enemy side? Owen with a hood? ...Derrick?

I wish this guy was recruitable.

Fates did one thing right, it was capturable enemies.

45 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
W6imkfpi o

But you have a material! It ain't pointless at all!

Wgtqznll oI wonder, have you prepared yourself for the consequences of your actions?!

Are we positive this ain't Ward trying to test the troops?

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ma7cd2hl oVcqvfqo0 o

And here I thought she wasn't a bad unit.

Oh well, dead again.

It's weird how much of the opposite of a lord she is. Can't die, tends to be off camera story wise, her dad's still alive, I could go on.

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sphpajlr o

My turn count... It was looking so nice...

You won't get A-Rank with that attitude.

50 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
7cta79pi o

You know, it's really telling about Sylvis and Berwick as a whole that she's one of my most powerful units despite the fact that she hasn't gotten a single decent level up in her entire life.

I can hear you going full elitist with this comment.

Is her strength growth really low, or Am I wrong?

52 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Nlx6oqnf o

Sigh... Ohhh, at last! It's over! What the hell are you talking about, Muerthen? That wasn't "well fought" at all! That was possibly the most dishonorable, cowardly tactic I have employed in my entire life!

...And we never figured out why you're Ward! Is that style of beard and armor just really popular in the world of Berwick? I mean, I couldn't blame 'em, it's a badass style, but... C'mon! Even the black undershirt is the same as Ward's! The helmet and the pose are the only differences! What happened!?

The only reason against this straight up being Ward spying is that you killed Muerthen off.

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OH SHIT I MISSED AN UPDATE! AAAAAAAAAAGH

Spoiler
On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I've seen that one around, too. It looks a bit too short for my liking, I like my FE games a bit bigger than that. Still, could be worth a shot.

Well it's not done yet so that's why. The story stops midway too, but it is pretty great.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

That was a joke. A joke!

I'm joking too!

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

|    I|
l|   | __

...Mm?

It's loss. a dumb stupid meme.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ergh... Not quite?

I forgot what was said that made me think something sounded like Hanes (Pronounced: Jeins) but oh well.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahahah... Well, to be fair, the writers of P&F weren't busy trying to rip off TRS at every turn. I... I don't think they were, at least.

Honestly though, I think I would respect FE7 more if they ripped off the dancer recruitment. That would've taken some serious balls. Alas, they were too cowardly, and so we instead got Deus Ex Ninian.

Lol. But wait why does everyone say FE7 ripped off TRS? What does FE7 do to deserve such a title? The 3 lords thing? Nergal? Everything?

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ya. Final Fantasy no es lo mio, la verdad.

Entiendo eso, yo no lo he jugado tanto, pero si los gloriosos juegos del SNES (o mejor dicho, sus versiones adaptadas al GBA)

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahh, I understand what you mean now, yes.

Phew I'm glad you did. I almost thought you would be like "But whaaaa? NONONO! I be 0% weeb!"

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

German is the japanese of chads. I mean, c'mon. It might be unnecessary, but how cool is it to scream LEBENSMÜDE instead of "fuck my life"?

YEAH! Better than whatever Spanish has for that... uhh.... "Mi vida es un conio"? Doesn't fit... "Que se joda mi vida" nah.

Also, I've noticed German is like a professional language, kinda like Latin. And historically, Rome and the germanic tribes were enemies. It's merely a coincidence but a cool one. Both those languages just leave this aura of epicness and... epicness!

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

The horrifying suicide rate only exacerbates the problem.

Yeah that too! Young people are put on such a strain for what? Not getting clear A's? Bullcrap! I'm not bad at school and even I think that's ridiculous! Oh and yeah waifu culture isolates one from the real world, having to live yourself with the delusion of a waifu is a coping mechanism that just bites into your depression, yikes.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

ABOVE THE ROAD, UNDER THE ROAD? WHO KNOWS! BIG RIIIIIGS!

I forgot the rest of the commercial but man, such a dumb thing. Oh btw, did you watch AVGN's new video on crash dummies? Those toys look pretty fun. I think I saw sth like them on tv in the 2000s and I had a nightmare where I was surrounded by tv with those creepy dolls... they weren't the same dolls but yikes.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah. I'm afraid I am not familiar with the man. Outside my LPs I mostly just occasionaly lurk around here.

Yeah true. This is where the LP squad reunites at, even if I haven't done any LPs in 2 years iirc.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...because I ordered him to.

Ouch that hurts too... you know I'm beggining to feel a better ending would be to not capture Minas...

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I can understand... Well, you don't have to reply, y'know? It's not like you owe me anything. Just follow along if you want. That's been the deal since the beginning.

I know but I already missed a part! Aghh! I'll put a note outside the spoiler box about this.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

To be fair, given some of the things I say, I'm surprised nobody out there thinks I'm a really stupid 60-year-old.

I mean how does one grow such a beard so quickly! ... Is that normal? Perhaps my vision of how fast facial hair grows is skewed. A friend does tell me he shaves every few days.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Math, eh? That's a respectable choice. More useful than other hobbies, for sure. Like writing LPs

Writing LPs is fun. I love replying to people more than anything. In fact, if you read some of my old lps hidden away somewhere... the lp part was super short and I just talked to everybody.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You can't tell me what to do. In fact, I'll quote it again.

Quote

Well bad-stat line up as in, less upper body strength in real life. Then again that's circumvented anyways so... just ignore this. Don't even quote it.

That's what you get for trying to boss me around.

Quote it again you bastard, I dare you, but hey if you do I'm eating your paella. And hell I put a force field around that rejects anything but my own body to enter it. So you can't spit over it now! Your choice... quote me again... or the paella. >:D

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

It's a mobile gacha game. I've heard that it's good. I believe "gacha" and "good" in the same sentence is an oxymoron, but that's just me.

Yeah lol, they don't mix imo.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

It was a mistake because I could've moved Enid from harm's way instead of healing Faye. I didn't, so Enid almost died. If I had left Faye behind, she could've died, but not only did she have a higher dodge rate, but she also can't die for real.

Oh right! In this game you get "turns" but to move whichever units (a set amount of anyways) so instead of healing you should have moved Enid with the turn given to you, gotcha.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I meant when units have no movement to signify they're stationary. There's one particular instance in 3H where they do this, but it's a lie.

Bruh... maybe they don't charge you is what they meant? Either way it's so dumb. Buuuut! 13 and 14 definitely do this right, atleast 14 does I know for sure.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

If she dies, a dude arrives and saves her. She's still crippled, though, so she has to sit out the rest of the chapter.

A simp rescues Faye, lol. Actually who wouldn't try to score by rescuing her?

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Yikes, what happened to Elbert?

Well, he did lose his girlfriend. Mostly my fault.

Yikes. That is kinda scary.

Heh...

Again, bold is you. And man if my game suddenly turned to me and the screen flashed saying it was my fault uhm... Bartre died. Then I would be scared.

On 6/27/2020 at 4:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes. Yes you were.

Your paella is still on thin f*cking ice my friend!

Ok so two things.

One, I may miss the next update and if I have time I'll reply to the part itself but I don't have too much time right now and I wanted to leave this message. So at the very least I'll try to reply to the replies. It's mostly just a today thing and I will read next part.

Two, I played Order of Ecclessia because I was told it was hard (I'm not used to my keyboard so even normal mode is) and I saw Barlowe, your old pfp! That's pretty cool. Barlowe looks cool, awesome scholar type.

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3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ergh... Did you just... Copy the URL to my profile and removed half the letters?

Ye.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Explain yourself at once, Butterman! I do not understand your actions!

No.

hps:/foms.snesforst.ninde/profi17747sinrubei

they're coming for you

hps:/foms.snesforst.ninde/profi17747sinrubei

 

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On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 39 - Friend or foe?

Spoiler
On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ergh... No, I doubt they look like that.

It's an Imgur gallery: you most likely just looked at the 1st of 25 images that make up that comic (and the one that just happens to be completely irrelevant to it too)

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

That, except with a lot more death and incompetence.

(That's the last stage of that event btw, not counting challenge stages)

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Wgtqznll oTake note of their formations and tactics for future battles.

9qk5ifz8 o Good luck with that. The only good thing about being terrible is that I'm unpredictable.

2fc92adf-bd41-4731-bbc9-167e69154a29.jpg

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
W7vgcajk o

Adel will get us started. Hopefully, with a successful hit.

Hstyqfws oVwxvdllo o

Wonderful.

Vxgnktoa oN2zdjff1 o

With both enemies distracted and Adel nearby for that juicy Supporter accuracy, Leon engages in a Deathmatch.

Xa7dev4c oBs2vemwf o

It goes swimmingly.

fb424310-30a7-45d1-ac44-efad802ba784.jpg

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Turn five, huh? That's not bad. Maybe we can actually beat this map without spending 30 turns on it.

58fa87d1-7da9-4019-9186-7f83036aeb7c.jpg

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Son of a cussing cussword...!

Immagine6.jpg

Immagine7.jpg

(Yes, they bothered censoring the "Lungmen aka not-China swearing" yet not the "Siracusa aka not-Italy swearing")

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

W3kchlrt oOhpj0zqu o

3d160b75-ca6c-4bab-8344-094b62133f91.jpg

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

8ruzyiti o5snrbiuh o

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Uwbm1u1b o

Magic.

M8r9jvoy o

...are you shitting me, Enid?

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Now... about the Imperials.

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Vcqvfqo0 o

3a58b73a-7ffc-41c8-977d-48de79f90ee1.jpg

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
6mxhpmfj o9mbjuvci o

Oh, in the name of-- I am SO done with this!

Ciwlbuwm oBgwdclmy o

Fucken DIE ALREADY!!

Nlx6oqnf o

257b0d74-dfb6-4935-a38c-a75951882a58.jpg

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

What the hell are you talking about, Muerthen? That wasn't "well fought" at all! That was possibly the most dishonorable, cowardly tactic I have employed in my entire life!

273f9757-2acf-4e91-8f33-2ea8c98b152c.jpg

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Vznciu1x oI5q80eiw o

Well, here we go. I hope it was friggin' worth it.

Well, now that Siesta has officially banned any obsidian extraction activity to prevent their volcano from erupting again (at least for a while), i suppose it is.

 

Also, here is yet another thing i should have posted somewhere before (but couldn't, simply because it didn't even exist until yesterday):

(Pretty sure you won't have any trouble figuring when/where this was relevant)

 

And this too for good measure:

On 6/21/2020 at 9:57 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Erzheimer!

Kccrqeae oWbalcqh0 o

Take this.

Mhfktxhy oZj26ya3n o

Very good.

4d1d88b1-496d-4ca5-b7a5-fde0efb2f4be.jpg

(Could have chosen a "cleaner" Herzeimer segment to quote, but that was the most recent one and didn't really wanna bother browsing through all the past updates)

 

4 hours ago, eclipse said:

Did any of your troops snack on the food before giving it back?

0585dc92-176f-4e56-8007-6bf305133e77.jpg

(Also, it seems someone didn't get the "keep long comments under spoiler" memo...)

Edited by Golb89
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Spoiler
On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! I don't think I ever bothered repairing anything. Never had the need.

But isn't it cheaper in the long run to repair the same weapons over and over rather than buying/forging new ones? Certainly helped with archers abusing deadeye to be makeshift ballistae when they weren't in range to function normally.. Speaking of, it saved a few repairs that I could forge unforged weapons that got low by forging them, as that not only gives them more durability but gives them back any they've lost. Then again the material system meant any really good weapons couldn't be repaired as often. Unless you're Dayni apparently.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Heck, why not have Claude yield the Failnaught if he's spared in CF? That'd be a reason for the option beyond pure, pointless pandering.

Or alternatively make players choose between sparing him because they want to, or killing him for the Failnaught.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Even though I've never actually watched bullfighting in my life and am against such needless animal torture?

Yeah well either that or I come up with some bullshit explanation of how it's possible, and you can fight that.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:


Well, those two can turn into 200 with the right kind of push... So you're probably right to be worried.

Considering a nearby stat has made a jump from 44 cases to nearly 400 recently... yeah.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Damn you, Liam! Running away with half of Wil's power!

Over half. Wil is operating at 3/7ths of maximum power in a game where archers are nerfed to begin with. Now imagine a Wil with 68% more everything, and not-nerfed effective damage.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Holy shit that's contrived.

I mean, I've squeezed out a lot of context. Some of which involves writer/editorial changes.

Spoiler

For instance, Phoenix was just a powered up Jean Grey in the original context. Indeed, the plan was to have the part of her brain that allowed her telepathic powers to work burned out as punishment for her crimes (the alternate reality Rachel Summers being a in-joke reference to the original plan) before the editor said "she killed billions of people, she needs a bigger punishment than that". Hence death. Madelyn Pryor was originally introduced as a "mistake" Cyclops made, where he married a woman just because she looked like Jean as a coping mechanism despite not loving her at all. Kid's born and Cyclops loses leadership of X-men. First writer's involvement in story ends. Seems harmless enough now doesn't it?

Then seeing as the X-men were selling so well, the management have the idea they want to do "X-factor", a series with the first five X-men re-united as a spin off to make some more cash. Except there's one hitch. Jean Grey's dead as punishment for the whole "snuffing out a solar system as casually as you might a candle", and the editor-in-chief is still opposed to bringing her back. Until someone suggests the idea "What if Phoenix wasn't really Jean Grey? It'd mean Phoenix would remain punished and we could do the reunion". Hence cocoon story. The removal of Jean's telepathy was simple enough too. In the first 40-so issues of X-men Jean had no such power. It was an attempt to make the reunion more authentic. (On a similar note, The Beast was briefly cured of his status as a blue furred monster and put back to his more human original look).

Now, getting rid of Madelyn Pryor was pure and simple the ultimate culmination of Cyclops marrying a woman just because she looked like his dead love. Though having her turn out an evil clone is... a bit forced. Presumably a decision made as fans did not particularly like the character. The problem is this left them with Nathan. Nathan was kept around for a while. Indeed, he was still around when a mystery-man named Cable was introduced in New Mutants 87 to shake up the book by taking leadership of the trainee X-men and turning them into his own military force. Thing about Cable is, he took off as popular. Nothing was known about his past. The problem is this leads to the real contrived, and even scummy part. Marvel had a dispute with Cable's creator over royalties for the character (no we aren't paying them, get f*cked). So three years into Cable's existence, an X-Factor story has Nathan contract the techno-organic virus... resulting in him having a metal arm... like Cable. Then he's sent into the future. It's revealed this guy who had this past everyone was dying to find out more about was in fact just Nathan grown up thanks to time-travel BS. Which gave Marvel the grounds to claim that said creator never had anything to do with the creation of the character... because Nathan had been around years before this guy was even hired. That had it's own fallout culminating in a company named Image being formed.

This also had the convenient effect of removing Nathan, as it was Marvel policy in the 90s having kids made characters less relatable. This can be seen by the fact both Betty Banner (Hulk's wife when he's human), and Mary Jane Watson-Parker had miscarriages due to the policy. The only characters immune where Reed and Sue Richards of the Fantastic Four... because, you know. They'd had their kid since Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were on the book. That said... they did still go through a phase where they sent him to the future and brought him back grown up too.

Long story short... too many chefs.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, dear... No, but I can't fly a wyvern. Your comparison makes no sense.

But you're also both permanently associated with Frost.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Ergh... Did you just... Copy the URL to my profile and removed half the letters?

Explain yourself at once, Butterman! I do not understand your actions!

I think this is a form of the provoke skill.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Last map, we encountered the Phantom Corpse and I still find that typo positively hilarious, though not as much as The Roger The Paladin.

How do you know how funny I find it though?

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
5c69pawe oPtrwunip o

Honestly, Arturo is really good. I don't use him enough.

Maybe that's why he was desperate to lose his life earlier? Jealousy.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Bkpcbjds o

Only way we could possibly fail is if Adel misses.

The only way we could possibly fail is if we don't succeed.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
S4upfyaa o

Sigh... Figures.

Spoiler

 

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Vzsdcobh oKakspqtq o

Aaaand of course, the guy's first instinct upon finding himself completely alone and surrounded by the enemy army is to throw himself at Adel like all the rest. It'll never cease to amuse me.

Suicide by Adel seems to be a common cause of death in this game.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
W3kchlrt oOhpj0zqu o

...And there's where I fucked up. Once the charm's carrier takes a deadly blow, the charm makes them invincible against any damage until the end of the combat round. Which means he gets to whack Leon twice. Thank goodness he's long since waited... he can't follow up with a finishing strike.

So... if deathmatch keeps a battle going longer, and a miracle charm keeps someone alive for the rest of the battle...
What happens if you have a unit who has both a miracle charm and deathmatch? I can see that being used for a broken combination in certain situations. Though I seem to remember not everyone can use a miracle charm... which might be for that very reason.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Vltrfj6y o

For some undiscernible reason, Palrovin has the boss theme.

I mean, you showed us the arrows/bow he has. Guy has options. More threatening than some bosses I've seen lately.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
B5jqq42y o

There's Faramir. You know, this is a pretty compelling argument to never use the edgelord. If he dies, Faye loses her casual mode, so it's important to keep him safe at all costs. That means keep him in the bench for life.

A game where you're rewarded for not using an edgelord... I just realized why this is your favourite game.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Icmkc0ud o

The plan is to continue using Deadeye, except instead of trying to single out Muerthen, we're going to kill everyone else and then him.

I would call you cowardly, but I just did an upload a bit before you did this one where I spent however many turns turning a valley into a makeshift fortress. (This comment seems familiar somehow).

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
0nrhz1gd o

I really did think about making this as time consuming as possible so you'd suffer like I suffered. Then I realized I'd lose all my readers if I did that, so... Yeah. For now, just marvel at my extremely courageous, bold and brash strategy.

I mean, I had the temptation to have Wolf take every single one of the kills on my fortress strategy so he'd get more experience and start snowballing out of control. Then I decided it'd be too boring to read compared to sharing around the exp.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

...And we never figured out why you're Ward! Is that style of beard and armor just really popular in the world of Berwick? I mean, I couldn't blame 'em, it's a badass style, but... C'mon! Even the black undershirt is the same as Ward's! The helmet and the pose are the only differences! What happened!?

Ward impersonator. When you've got a reputation, you get impersonators. Look at Navarre, who gameplay-wise isn't half what his reputation is. Samto impersonates him.
I imagine, that impersonating Ward is popular if you have the capacity to look like him.

On 7/1/2020 at 6:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

...wait...

67 TURNS?! 67 TURNS! SIXTY-SEVEN TURNS! WE'VE LITERALLY SPENT 33.5 HOURS STANDING AROUND THIS STUPID TOWN! A DAY AND A HALF, JUST SITTING HERE!

Here I was lamenting my turn count on that fort strategy. Thank God neither of us are playing for LTC. We'd never make it.

 

 

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9 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

So... if deathmatch keeps a battle going longer, and a miracle charm keeps someone alive for the rest of the battle...
What happens if you have a unit who has both a miracle charm and deathmatch? I can see that being used for a broken combination in certain situations. Though I seem to remember not everyone can use a miracle charm... which might be for that very reason.

Yes, it is a pretty broken strategy, you would stay alive for the whole deathmatch duration. Volo  is the only unit who can do it, probably one of the main reasons he is considered top tier.

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1 hour ago, ranger016 said:

Yes, it is a pretty broken strategy, you would stay alive for the whole deathmatch duration. Volo  is the only unit who can do it, probably one of the main reasons he is considered top tier.

In other words, it's in, it's broke and it's not something we're likely to see this run.

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1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

In other words, it's in, it's broke and it's not something we're likely to see this run.

Volo in Ruben's LP? I would say it is more likely for the LP to be cancelled than ever seeing him use Volo.

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Misc addendums:

Spoiler
On 6/14/2020 at 11:44 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ed8bteni o

Three guesses as to how well that works out for the guy.

8o61robz o

Yeah.

5jsuux1j o

5aeff197-c96d-4f4e-9d7c-a339629ff7e0.jpg

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Novhvmfd o

.......

G9rygnxs o

...well. This is the best I can come up with.

Bejaenfi o

Yes, he took the bait. Excellent. This is ridiculous, but I'll take it.

m6.jpg

(Source)

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Z5vp7zqd oEf16quen oMa7cd2hl oVcqvfqo0 o

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Fliwp2cr o

I know, I know, this is awful, but his shield won't last forever. Then he'll be screwed.

Tuo1aqkp o

A couple shots later, the shield is gone.

(Same as above)

 

On 6/30/2020 at 10:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Nlx6oqnf o

5569bdf2-d2b6-4536-9c6f-b15d333398d8.jpg

 

22 hours ago, Golb89 said:
On 7/1/2020 at 9:40 PM, eclipse said:

Did any of your troops snack on the food before giving it back?

0585dc92-176f-4e56-8007-6bf305133e77.jpg

 

And finally, Derrick's paralogue:

Maybe.

(Note: that's entirely fanfiction, just like this)

 

Also, this:

Spoiler

cb995287-1dd3-435c-84c6-2f3dbb35d9ec.jpg

For all the sh*t i've taken from mods before, that's quite the novelty...

Welp, it was fun till it lasted: goodbye.

e9e4ecd7-8020-4577-b303-aa2f5eeae97b.gif

Edited by Golb89
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IIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMM BAAAAAAAACK! Looks like I missed quite a lot.

Most importantly, I must make up for missed time with the new Butterman meme!

hps:/foms.snesforst.ninde/profi17747sinrubei

Spoiler
On 6/27/2020 at 2:54 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Go!

I like how the day you said go, I left.

I mean, the dude was literally called Gawain.

Very true.

Probably every main mission until something like 13.

If I miss capturing him four more times...

Pffft.

This portrait is High end art.

No, he is not. Or, well, I mean, could be, but...

According to Kaga's notes from FE1, he's also Anna's nephew from Dolhr. He married someone from Narnia and fathered the generic with a portrait.

Bernstool.

5ekaPIkt_o.png

Again.

Still gorgeous the second time around.

Anyway, Eliwood had another child? And never told Roy?

Yep. With Dorcas. That's why Dorcas isn't in Binding Blade and why Reese trusts nobody.

To be fair, your luck is amazing, too. That don't help.

BLAMING THE RNG IS A PITFALL

Jesus... Yeah, I was talking about Ruby. 4 magic on a physical fighter isn't that great, but it's still 4 res. It can be used for something, maybe.

It's good for ...Boosting her ego? I'll go with that. Too bad I stopped using Ruby after chapter 5.

I had to do a double take there because I misread "foob" as something a lot lewder.

My, how lewd!

...And that's why I shouldn't try to write after nine o' clock.

Sheesh... I hope I am a little luckier, at least.

For your own sake, me too!

I like how you quote someone else in my post so it looks like I said it.

IT'S TOOO HAAARRDDD TO LOOK THROUGH THE THREAD TO QUOTE SOMEONE ELSE!

Really? With all those reinforcements, I don't see how you can do much without some bulk. Though I guess Elbert can suffice.

Faye kills everything? Maybe that's why everyone on my team is so bad...

I never encountered them, so yeah.

Lucky ducky!

Baaahhh...

IMO the best part of Enid as a unit is the fact that her name reminds me of the song by BNL.

I'll try. At the very least, I want to recruit her, but I hesitate to bring her to main missions because she can't take a hit to save her life. Even if it's never at any real risk.

She will not Fayel you! She onlee needs one shot!

Well, he's still pretty good. He does fall off, though. Less and less enemies use melee weapons as the game goes on.

So I've noticed. Why must my favorite characters be ultra suck?!

...Well...

To be fair to me, Florina has a 0% chance of death no matter how high the hitrate is simply because of how godlike she is.

Eh, it's just about having fun.

Success!

Conglaturation !!!

If Dart blows out candles at a birthday party, does it make it a Darting blow?

Would you believe she was looking even better in my second run? In terms of WpSkill, anyway. In raw stats she was actually worse, but by the time she made it to level 10, she was at 19 in every WpSkill, so she promoted immediately after being recruited. She'll take a bit longer here, but I think she won't have much trouble making it, either.

BRUH.

Yes, indeed.

Raze works in mysterious and frightening ways...

Quote

Faye x 1

YU FEEND!

 

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Part 40 - Volcens's worst mistake.

Warning: plot dumps ahead. Follow security prodecures within the premises, listen to the guide's instructions at all times and don't forget to wear protective gear.

Volcens:

Spoiler
On 6/30/2020 at 11:51 PM, Dayni said:

That is a good argument for CF, even though I'd rather only see one per route and because AM gave Failnaught I'd rather it be one per route. Except SS because that should be a lot more Chruch route than it currently is- I'm gonna give the game away at this rate.

Put it in spoilers if you feel you'll delve into spoiler territory. I really don't mind at this point, the only way I'm going to return to 3H is if I spoil myself something cool. Kinda like how I played Ecclesia for the first time, all those years ago.

...Ah, who am I kidding, I've been considering going back to it for a while. As much as I like to crap on it, I had more fun with it than the other bottom-of-the-ranking-list titles, so... there's that. Honestly, what was I thinking when I put it below Echoes... Three Houses's gameplay may be a mess, but Echoes's gameplay is just plain shit!

I also tried to get Lorenz using Failnaught in my AM run, but because I didn't know that'd happen he had no exp in bows and thus wasn't all that good at it. I had no bow users with crests there either, not helping matters.

If you were in New Game+ you could've given the crest to your archer of choice. If not, then... oh well, too bad.

I meant the armour on the portrait which could still be seen because it's not 100% blacked out.

Ahh, very perceptive. That was not an accident, and that is all I'll say on the matter.

Course, I would still argue tourism is far from saved this year. Around here a lot of places won't realistically open at all this year and most that do are going to chafe at the restrictions.

It's better than what's going on in the UK though, which is just depressing.

This whole situation's being depressing in general. I can only hope we come out of it relatively unscathed.

Ah but there can be fun in modding a console too. Modding a PC mostly just involves the component hunt, while you're unlikely to need to do any software editing (unless you're nor using a popular OS)

O-Oh, so... you meant...

This of course ignores modding games themselves.

Right, right... I had thought you were talking about modding games. You have to crack your consoles open and perform all sorts of dark magic on it to mod, and then you can't even connect to the internet. On PC, the only way for it to be difficult is if the game itself is hard to mod, the hardware itself poses no resistance.

These paralogues feel very minor honestly.

That's because they are. I mean, we were literally there because the restaurant owner asked us to go. It's not some big epic battle. That's what main missions are for.

What happened with these poor civilians.

Well... Considering the brigands' dialogue...

Overwatch spam is going to happen isn't it.

Eeeyup.

(Also, I guess it was the trees beside the northern road closer to the cliffs.)

Not quite, but good guess. Really, any forest is shady in this game, and not just because of the shade they project.

What is going on here? Did Ward have a brother in Raze all along? Is he as deadly?

No idea, no idea, aaaand yes.

His name is to Muerte like Johnathan is to John.

Hah! You're right, actually. Huh.

Woof.He's got the food too.

Yep.

Spd blessed armour.

You must be so pleased.

I'd be lying if I said I weren't. He's a meme that's doing his utmost to become even more memeish.

No way he can get a third in a row right?I legit ask the bracketing seems to be broken here.

His speed bracket is 2, so he can be 2 points above his average. Sadly, he probably can't get another one with his 20% speed growth.

AND UNLIKE ADEL HE MIGHT PROMOTE SOMETIME IN THE NEXT YEAR

You've been crapping on him a lot, sorry.

On whom? Arthur or Adel? I've done nothing but sing Adel's praises. As for Arthur, well... It's mostly just jokes. But he does miss a lot, for some reason. I'd expect it from Perceval, but Arthur?

Well that's an AI exploit if I've seen one.

Kinda, yes.

>Bitches about particle effects in 3H

>The blur effect from behind the bow is bad too

>"3H hAS AuFfLE GraFiCS BeRWIcK Is PeRFECT

You're saying 3H's is bad, but that blur behind Sylvis kinda is too. Sorry.

I've never said the particles in 3H are bad. If it came across as that, I apologize. What I always meant was that the particles in 3H are bad because they make the FPS tank to 10, which is inexcusable when you consider that there's already a 30 FPS cap that's supposed to prevent that sort of thing. The particles themselves are perfectly fine, it's just that they went overboard with them and the performance suffers for it.

Still, I'll admit the effect isn't that great. Kind of going for the low-hanging fruit to call me out on a passing comment of a bad screenshot of probably the most mundane particle effect in the game, but you're correct.

Also, I'm pretty sure this doesn't count as a particle effect because it's a sprite animation too.

Well, I mean... technically speaking, it's not the same thing, but visually they're similar things.

Why does he keep dodging?

Why can't any of your army learn this?

Why, Kaga, why?

Because Kaga is a genius of game making. A mad genius.

Well, that was a bad idea almost gone awry.

Yes...

Enid really didn't like your description of your first level.

She ain't gonna like my description of her if she keeps this up!

I wish this guy was recruitable.

Fates did one thing right, it was capturable enemies.

But why would we need to recruit Ward? We already have Ward!

Are we positive this ain't Ward trying to test the troops?

I have... no idea.

And here I thought she wasn't a bad unit.

She's not bad. She's just squishy. Fighting bosses with brave weapons is not her place. Or are you telling me every healer in the series is bad because they can't go up against their respective final bosses?

Oh well, dead again.

Again? The only death she's suffered so far is the scripted one against Chaos, and that doesn't count because she's not even crippled afterwards.

It's weird how much of the opposite of a lord she is. Can't die, tends to be off camera story wise, her dad's still alive, I could go on.

Is this a subtle shot at the time I compared her to Ike? Because the similarities are there. They're not 100% similar, but there are definitely some details.

You won't get A-Rank with that attitude.

All I want is to keep as many people alive as possible.

I can hear you going full elitist with this comment.

Wait, what? I passionately defend my waifu and that's where I go full elitist? As opposed to all the times I've shat on extremely popular games? As opposed to the times I handwaved all criticism of Berwick Saga?

Is her strength growth really low, or Am I wrong?

It's 25%, which for this game is average. Her bracket is 3, though, so it'll be a long time before she's forced to gain something. Not that it matters, I mean, have you seen how awesome she is? She don't need no stats!

The only reason against this straight up being Ward spying is that you killed Muerthen off.

Well...

 

On 7/1/2020 at 1:06 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

OH SHIT I MISSED AN UPDATE! AAAAAAAAAAGH

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW COULD YOU

  Hide contents

Well it's not done yet so that's why. The story stops midway too, but it is pretty great.

Duly noted.

I'm joking too!

Good to see we're all jokers.

It's loss. a dumb stupid meme.

Ah.

I forgot what was said that made me think something sounded like Hanes (Pronounced: Jeins) but oh well.

Oohhh, I see... that's... really not how I'd pronounce it from my spanish from Spain perspective, that's why I was a bit confused.

Lol. But wait why does everyone say FE7 ripped off TRS? What does FE7 do to deserve such a title? The 3 lords thing? Nergal? Everything?

When you analyze the two stories, the paralells are glaring. Nergal is just Guenchaos with kids, Sonia is just Carla with the perfection gimmick, the Black Fang is just Canaan except it's some assassin group instead of a nation, Lloyd and Linus are Barker and Julius except you fight them both, Hector is Holmes without the bad romance, Athos is Eisenbach except he doesn't die early...

It's not exactly the same all the time (the Elbert arc, for instance, is new), but there are so many similarities (similarities that in many cases completely contradict the lore of FE6) that it's pretty safe to say that they drew more than a bit of inspiration from TRS. Or, more likely, from the notes Kaga left behind when he quit IntSys.

Entiendo eso, yo no lo he jugado tanto, pero si los gloriosos juegos del SNES (o mejor dicho, sus versiones adaptadas al GBA)

Ya veo... Yo jugué como 30 minutos del 6 y me aburrí. Eso es todo.

Phew I'm glad you did. I almost thought you would be like "But whaaaa? NONONO! I be 0% weeb!"

I mean, I can't say I particularly care for the moniker. But I suppose given that definition, it works.

YEAH! Better than whatever Spanish has for that... uhh.... "Mi vida es un conio"? Doesn't fit... "Que se joda mi vida" nah.

German is just cooler. It's the kind of language that you just have to scream. It's scientifically impossible to be cool and composed while speaking german.

Also, I've noticed German is like a professional language, kinda like Latin. And historically, Rome and the germanic tribes were enemies. It's merely a coincidence but a cool one. Both those languages just leave this aura of epicness and... epicness!

Yes, very epic and epic, both of them.

Yeah that too! Young people are put on such a strain for what? Not getting clear A's? Bullcrap! I'm not bad at school and even I think that's ridiculous! Oh and yeah waifu culture isolates one from the real world, having to live yourself with the delusion of a waifu is a coping mechanism that just bites into your depression, yikes.

Japan has issues, in general. But I suppose no country in the world doesn't.

I forgot the rest of the commercial but man, such a dumb thing.

Dumb, but oh man it was awesome.

Oh btw, did you watch AVGN's new video on crash dummies? Those toys look pretty fun. I think I saw sth like them on tv in the 2000s and I had a nightmare where I was surrounded by tv with those creepy dolls... they weren't the same dolls but yikes.

I watch AVGN occasionaly. Been a while since I last did, actually. I think I must've missed four or five new episodes.

Yeah true. This is where the LP squad reunites at, even if I haven't done any LPs in 2 years iirc.

I mean, kind of a given that the LP squad would reunite in the LP subforum.

Stares at The Roger LPing in FFtF

Ouch that hurts too... you know I'm beggining to feel a better ending would be to not capture Minas...

Nope.

...Ahahah, well, it's probably better for her personally, but I know how the thing will end, and believe me, it's a waste not to see this through.

I know but I already missed a part! Aghh! I'll put a note outside the spoiler box about this.

Don't worry, please.

I mean how does one grow such a beard so quickly! ... Is that normal? Perhaps my vision of how fast facial hair grows is skewed. A friend does tell me he shaves every few days.

I don't know, I just haven't shaved in 2 years. Whatever happens, happens.

Writing LPs is fun. I love replying to people more than anything. In fact, if you read some of my old lps hidden away somewhere... the lp part was super short and I just talked to everybody.

Yeah, the replies are always fun to read.

Quote it again you bastard, I dare you, but hey if you do I'm eating your paella. And hell I put a force field around that rejects anything but my own body to enter it. So you can't spit over it now! Your choice... quote me again... or the paella. >:D

......

...I can get another paella any time I want! I live in Spain!

Quote

Well bad-stat line up as in, less upper body strength in real life. Then again that's circumvented anyways so... just ignore this. Don't even quote it.

Yeah lol, they don't mix imo.

Same here. I respect people who enjoy them, but... yeah, no.

Oh right! In this game you get "turns" but to move whichever units (a set amount of anyways) so instead of healing you should have moved Enid with the turn given to you, gotcha.

Correct. Good job.

Bruh... maybe they don't charge you is what they meant? Either way it's so dumb. Buuuut! 13 and 14 definitely do this right, atleast 14 does I know for sure.

That is reassuring. This probably was just a glitch that passed them by when playtesting. And they never fixed it because they were busy adding fanservice outfits.

A simp rescues Faye, lol.

Eeerrrrgh... I mean, he literally told her once that he didn't think she had potential as a fighter because she's a woman, so... More like an incel rescues Faye?

Actually who wouldn't try to score by rescuing her?

Rescuing isn't a mechanic in this game, though... Well, unless we're talking about the orb, of course, but that's not quite like what we usually think of as rescuing in FE...

Again, bold is you. And man if my game suddenly turned to me and the screen flashed saying it was my fault uhm... Bartre died. Then I would be scared.

Thankfully it has never happened and I'm just joking. Yes. That is it.

Nk6da96v oKeep talking

Yeah... heh...

Your paella is still on thin f*cking ice my friend!

This is Spain! I can have all the paellas I want!

Ok so two things.

One, I may miss the next update and if I have time I'll reply to the part itself but I don't have too much time right now and I wanted to leave this message. So at the very least I'll try to reply to the replies. It's mostly just a today thing and I will read next part.

Don't worry. Not like you owe me anything.

Two, I played Order of Ecclessia because I was told it was hard (I'm not used to my keyboard so even normal mode is) and I saw Barlowe, your old pfp! That's pretty cool. Barlowe looks cool, awesome scholar type.

Eyyy, Ecclesia! It gets my most heartfelt recommendation too. I haven't played much Castlevania, but this one I have replayed a bunch of times. It's just... really fun. And yeah, Barlowe rocks.

Wait, but what's with the keyboard hatred? I've only ever played the game on a keyboard and I'd like to think I'm rather decent at it! I mean, I beat it on Hard Level cap 1. No, it wasn't new game+ either. Fresh new file. I picked the absolute hardest difficulty and kicked Dracula's butt. It was an awesome experience. Now I just need to do the same with Albus.

 

On 7/1/2020 at 1:37 AM, Pengaius said:

Ye.

Why...?

No.

How dare you, I'll kill you! I want to know why you do the things you do!

hps:/foms.snesforst.ninde/profi17747sinrubei

they're coming for you

hps:/foms.snesforst.ninde/profi17747sinrubei

Stop! I don't even know who "they" are! I'm not in danger, am I--

 

On 7/1/2020 at 9:40 PM, eclipse said:

Did any of your troops snack on the food before giving it back?

The troops? Nah, they're all responsible, honorable men and women. They would never do that.

...Mm? What do you mean, crumbs on my beard? T-That is a coincidence, a coincidence I say!

 

On 7/2/2020 at 2:20 AM, Golb89 said:
  Hide contents

It's an Imgur gallery: you most likely just looked at the 1st of 25 images that make up that comic (and the one that just happens to be completely irrelevant to it too)

Ah, yes... Guilty as charged, I'm afraid.

That's a mood, right there. I know I wish I could attack my teammates in TF2 when I charge 'em up with the vaccinator and they still run from the fucking kritzkrieg uber. You idiots, the vaccinator blocks crits. Stop letting them advance.

(That's the last stage of that event btw, not counting challenge stages)

Ah, I see.

2fc92adf-bd41-4731-bbc9-167e69154a29.jpg

I'm not sure which generation I am. Generation X, Z, Y, silent generation, zoomers, boomers, baby boomers is a thing too? I can't keep up with all this nonsense. I was born in 1999. Draw your own conclusions.

fb424310-30a7-45d1-ac44-efad802ba784.jpg

No, I'm afraid you forgot a step. It goes "Woosh, pow, thud, FUUUUUUUUUUCK STOP MISSING EVERYTHING"

58fa87d1-7da9-4019-9186-7f83036aeb7c.jpg

I wonder what's for dinner.

Immagine6.jpg

Immagine7.jpg

(Yes, they bothered censoring the "Lungmen aka not-China swearing" yet not the "Siracusa aka not-Italy swearing")

...Come now, even I know what cazzo means, and I don't know a lick of italian.

3d160b75-ca6c-4bab-8344-094b62133f91.jpg

She looks so angry. Must be a TF2 medic main too.

A "kind" of magic, all right. A nonexistent kind!

Pfffft... Ahahahahah, this guy. It was so satisfying to come back for him later on.

3a58b73a-7ffc-41c8-977d-48de79f90ee1.jpg

Words to live by.

257b0d74-dfb6-4935-a38c-a75951882a58.jpg

 

273f9757-2acf-4e91-8f33-2ea8c98b152c.jpg

She even has kinda the same color palette as Sylvis.

Well, now that Siesta has officially banned any obsidian extraction activity to prevent their volcano from erupting again (at least for a while), i suppose it is.

Okay, so I open that and the first thing I see is a woman in a very Japan outfit glaring to the side with the most hateful eyes.

Also, here is yet another thing i should have posted somewhere before (but couldn't, simply because it didn't even exist until yesterday):

(Pretty sure you won't have any trouble figuring when/where this was relevant)

Yes, I think... I think I get it.

And this too for good measure:

4d1d88b1-496d-4ca5-b7a5-fde0efb2f4be.jpg

(Could have chosen a "cleaner" Herzeimer segment to quote, but that was the most recent one and didn't really wanna bother browsing through all the past updates)

Herzeimer.

...You know, I think I get why the dude is so obsessed with his collection. Everyone constantly got his name wrong, so he decided, "I will become the most prolific collector in the entire world, that all may remember my name, Erzheimer Von Lentzenheimer!"

Then, while looking for ancient documents for his collection, he found his own family tree. He was puzzled to discover that the picture of one of his direct ancestors was replaced with a crude drawing of a dick.

 

0585dc92-176f-4e56-8007-6bf305133e77.jpg

Incidentally, I've got to give it to her: her design is actually fine. I like the trenchcoat.

(Also, it seems someone didn't get the "keep long comments under spoiler" memo...)

Eh, don't be so hard on the guy. He might not read other people's replies.

 

On 7/2/2020 at 9:48 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

 

  Hide contents

But isn't it cheaper in the long run to repair the same weapons over and over rather than buying/forging new ones? Certainly helped with archers abusing deadeye to be makeshift ballistae when they weren't in range to function normally.. Speaking of, it saved a few repairs that I could forge unforged weapons that got low by forging them, as that not only gives them more durability but gives them back any they've lost. Then again the material system meant any really good weapons couldn't be repaired as often. Unless you're Dayni apparently.

I have no idea. I mean, I never bothered because I never had the necessity. I may've repaired the brave weapons, but I never forged anything because everyone kicked ass anyway.

Or alternatively make players choose between sparing him because they want to, or killing him for the Failnaught.

Ooohohoho, that's so evil! I like it. I love it!

Yeah well either that or I come up with some bullshit explanation of how it's possible, and you can fight that.

I'll let you decide what to do.

Considering a nearby stat has made a jump from 44 cases to nearly 400 recently... yeah.

Oof...

Over half. Wil is operating at 3/7ths of maximum power in a game where archers are nerfed to begin with. Now imagine a Wil with 68% more everything, and not-nerfed effective damage.

Once again, damn you, Liam!

I mean, I've squeezed out a lot of context. Some of which involves writer/editorial changes.

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For instance, Phoenix was just a powered up Jean Grey in the original context. Indeed, the plan was to have the part of her brain that allowed her telepathic powers to work burned out as punishment for her crimes (the alternate reality Rachel Summers being a in-joke reference to the original plan) before the editor said "she killed billions of people, she needs a bigger punishment than that". Hence death. Madelyn Pryor was originally introduced as a "mistake" Cyclops made, where he married a woman just because she looked like Jean as a coping mechanism despite not loving her at all. Kid's born and Cyclops loses leadership of X-men. First writer's involvement in story ends. Seems harmless enough now doesn't it?

Then seeing as the X-men were selling so well, the management have the idea they want to do "X-factor", a series with the first five X-men re-united as a spin off to make some more cash. Except there's one hitch. Jean Grey's dead as punishment for the whole "snuffing out a solar system as casually as you might a candle", and the editor-in-chief is still opposed to bringing her back. Until someone suggests the idea "What if Phoenix wasn't really Jean Grey? It'd mean Phoenix would remain punished and we could do the reunion". Hence cocoon story. The removal of Jean's telepathy was simple enough too. In the first 40-so issues of X-men Jean had no such power. It was an attempt to make the reunion more authentic. (On a similar note, The Beast was briefly cured of his status as a blue furred monster and put back to his more human original look).

Now, getting rid of Madelyn Pryor was pure and simple the ultimate culmination of Cyclops marrying a woman just because she looked like his dead love. Though having her turn out an evil clone is... a bit forced. Presumably a decision made as fans did not particularly like the character. The problem is this left them with Nathan. Nathan was kept around for a while. Indeed, he was still around when a mystery-man named Cable was introduced in New Mutants 87 to shake up the book by taking leadership of the trainee X-men and turning them into his own military force. Thing about Cable is, he took off as popular. Nothing was known about his past. The problem is this leads to the real contrived, and even scummy part. Marvel had a dispute with Cable's creator over royalties for the character (no we aren't paying them, get f*cked). So three years into Cable's existence, an X-Factor story has Nathan contract the techno-organic virus... resulting in him having a metal arm... like Cable. Then he's sent into the future. It's revealed this guy who had this past everyone was dying to find out more about was in fact just Nathan grown up thanks to time-travel BS. Which gave Marvel the grounds to claim that said creator never had anything to do with the creation of the character... because Nathan had been around years before this guy was even hired. That had it's own fallout culminating in a company named Image being formed.

This also had the convenient effect of removing Nathan, as it was Marvel policy in the 90s having kids made characters less relatable. This can be seen by the fact both Betty Banner (Hulk's wife when he's human), and Mary Jane Watson-Parker had miscarriages due to the policy. The only characters immune where Reed and Sue Richards of the Fantastic Four... because, you know. They'd had their kid since Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were on the book. That said... they did still go through a phase where they sent him to the future and brought him back grown up too.

Long story short... too many chefs.

You know, since she came up, I'd like to point out that this video is all I know about Jean Grey.

But you're also both permanently associated with Frost.

Hey, that's true... Oh, and I eat my food on plates! Oh my god...!

I think this is a form of the provoke skill.

Pfffwhahahahahahah... That's probably it, I mean, it did work.

How do you know how funny I find it though?

No, that's not what I... Ergh...

Wait, what am I saying? You know full well what I meant, you're just pulling my leg.

Maybe that's why he was desperate to lose his life earlier? Jealousy.

Sheesh... I'm sorry, Arturo. It's not your fault your name comes up a thousand times in the series. And, in all fairness, it's not even his series.

The only way we could possibly fail is if we don't succeed.

Aaaand guess what happened.

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The guy's insane face just sells the clip.

Suicide by Adel seems to be a common cause of death in this game.

Funnily enough, he tends not to get the kills. But he usually starts the process of death, so in a way...

So... if deathmatch keeps a battle going longer, and a miracle charm keeps someone alive for the rest of the battle...
What happens if you have a unit who has both a miracle charm and deathmatch? I can see that being used for a broken combination in certain situations. Though I seem to remember not everyone can use a miracle charm... which might be for that very reason.

You know, that's actually a pretty good idea. Shame the only Deathmatcher that can use accessories is... Ugh, Volo.

I mean, you showed us the arrows/bow he has. Guy has options. More threatening than some bosses I've seen lately.

That much is true.

A game where you're rewarded for not using an edgelord... I just realized why this is your favourite game.

Ahahahahahahahah... Ah, I've been found out, have I? I mean, the game literally punishes you for using both edgelords. You risk losing Faye's casual mode if you use Faramir, and to get Volo's character arc, you have to sacrifice Faye's, which makes a later boss fight much harder!

I would call you cowardly, but I just did an upload a bit before you did this one where I spent however many turns turning a valley into a makeshift fortress. (This comment seems familiar somehow).

Yes, you feel it too? This strange feeling of déjà vu...

I mean, I had the temptation to have Wolf take every single one of the kills on my fortress strategy so he'd get more experience and start snowballing out of control. Then I decided it'd be too boring to read compared to sharing around the exp.

Hahahahah... I mean, Wolf is hilarious, but it's much more fun to feed experience to memes.

Ward impersonator. When you've got a reputation, you get impersonators. Look at Navarre, who gameplay-wise isn't half what his reputation is. Samto impersonates him.
I imagine, that impersonating Ward is popular if you have the capacity to look like him.

I can definitely understand wanting to look like the Endgame Beard.

Here I was lamenting my turn count on that fort strategy. Thank God neither of us are playing for LTC. We'd never make it.

Hahahahahah... We both shame the FE community.
 

 

 

On 7/2/2020 at 10:01 AM, ranger016 said:

Yes, it is a pretty broken strategy, you would stay alive for the whole deathmatch duration. Volo  is the only unit who can do it, probably one of the main reasons he is considered top tier.

Pah... He's not that good...

 

On 7/2/2020 at 11:27 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

In other words, it's in, it's broke and it's not something we're likely to see this run.

Yes, yes, aaaaaaaaaand yes.

 

On 7/2/2020 at 12:51 PM, ranger016 said:

Volo in Ruben's LP? I would say it is more likely for the LP to be cancelled than ever seeing him use Volo.

Hahahahahah... Probably, yes.

 

On 7/3/2020 at 12:10 AM, Golb89 said:

Misc addendums:

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5aeff197-c96d-4f4e-9d7c-a339629ff7e0.jpg

Hah! Hiding won't save you from the Axe-l!

m6.jpg

(Source)

Alas, poor Faye...

(Same as above)

Why does she go from smug to anime to dramatic to Reese?

5569bdf2-d2b6-4536-9c6f-b15d333398d8.jpg

...What even is anime dialogue, honestly?

And finally, Derrick's paralogue:

Maybe.

Not really. Derrick will never know defeat, he's invincible.

 

Also, this:

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cb995287-1dd3-435c-84c6-2f3dbb35d9ec.jpg

Oh, dear.

For all the sh*t i've taken from mods before, that's quite the novelty...

Well, to be fair, she is right. It's her job to privately warn people who do stuff. You can report things if you wish, but to publicly call people out is unnecessary.

Besides, in my experience, 10 points is mostly just a slap on the wrist to tell you not to do it again. Don't fret too much over it, just... don't do it, like she said.

Welp, it was fun till it lasted: goodbye.

Wow, that's... so melodramatic. It's a 10 point warning, relax. You ain't gonna be banned for that. Heck, if that's your only warning so far, I can tell you that I have a higher total score, and yet here I am. I rectified my mistakes, the warnings expired and nothing else came of it. It's really nothing to lose your head about.

e9e4ecd7-8020-4577-b303-aa2f5eeae97b.gif

I guess if you're going to just leave because you got a warning, though, I can't really stop you. Bye, I guess. But it's a really tiny reason to go that far, I'll tell you that much.

 

On 7/3/2020 at 9:15 AM, Benice said:

IIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMM BAAAAAAAACK! Looks like I missed quite a lot.

Not really. One update.

Most importantly, I must make up for missed time with the new Butterman meme!

hps:/foms.snesforst.ninde/profi17747sinrubei

I still don't get it.

  Hide contents

I like how the day you said go, I left.

Go! Again!

Very true.

Yeah, right?

If I miss capturing him four more times...

He has weakness, so please try not to.

This portrait is High end art.

I... I guess so.

According to Kaga's notes from FE1, he's also Anna's nephew from Dolhr. He married someone from Narnia and fathered the generic with a portrait.

He's also secretly 776 years old.

5ekaPIkt_o.png

Still gorgeous the second time around.

Long as people keep calling him Bernstool, I'll keep using that image.

Yep. With Dorcas. That's why Dorcas isn't in Binding Blade and why Reese trusts nobody.

Oh, pfffffft... That's... Wait, but Dorcas had a wife! Did he cheat on her with Eliwood?! Preposterous!

BLAMING THE RNG IS A PITFALL

Yeah, but as I learned with a friend, blaming people's mistakes makes people really angry and mad and they call you an elitist. So... yeah.

It's good for ...Boosting her ego? I'll go with that. Too bad I stopped using Ruby after chapter 5.

Your loss. My Ruby's kind of a monster, at least by her standards.

My, how lewd!

...And that's why I shouldn't try to write after nine o' clock.

Yes. Yes it is.

For your own sake, me too!

Thanks.

IT'S TOOO HAAARRDDD TO LOOK THROUGH THE THREAD TO QUOTE SOMEONE ELSE!

Yeah, okay, I can understand that, I suppose.

Faye kills everything? Maybe that's why everyone on my team is so bad...

Faye's an okay dodgetank, but I know better than to trust dodgetanks. Nothing more unreliable.

Lucky ducky!

Right? I hope it stays that way.

IMO the best part of Enid as a unit is the fact that her name reminds me of the song by BNL.

BNL? Ergh... Blistering Nonsense Limiting? Binocular Names List? Bin Nostril Lame?

She will not Fayel you! She onlee needs one shot!

I definitely want her for the events, if nothing else. And the paralogue's cool. I'll say, though, she has more of a chance to see continued use than Kramer.

So I've noticed. Why must my favorite characters be ultra suck?!

...Well...

Hey, my old response works! There we go, then.

To be fair to me, Florina has a 0% chance of death no matter how high the hitrate is simply because of how godlike she is.

You sure? You absolutely sure? That kind of mindset leads to death.

Success!

Conglaturation !!!

If Dart blows out candles at a birthday party, does it make it a Darting blow?

Oh, please...

BRUH.

Yes, indeed.

So many of these work just leaving them as is! So convenient.

Raze works in mysterious and frightening ways...

They wear garbage bags. I think it's a given that they're weird.

YU FEEND!

Hey, not my fault she's the perfect bait!

 

 

Thank God he exists:

Spoiler
U1napkw3 o

The other day, we saved a town from brigands, but more importantly, we saved food from brigands. Today, we're delivering the food to Marybelle. Did we ask the civilians who originally owned it, I wonder, or did we just pocket it and told them the brigands ran off with it?

L3s6xysy o

Pj4xam53 oOh, dear... Sir Ward, were you injured during the battle?

2wuos10r oMm? Oh, this? Yes, you could say that... But it's just a scratch. Nothing that will kill me.

Pj4xam53 oRight... Well, I hope you recover soon.

3cxl4xfi oDone already.

Pj4xam53 o...huh...?

3cxl4xfi oNow, about the food...

Pj4xam53 oY-Yes, of course... Wait...

 

Pj4xam53 oYou brought some back for me?!

3cxl4xfi oI pray you'll be able to manage with this much for the time being...

Pj4xam53 oThis will be more than plenty! I never imagined you would bring home so much! Sir Ward... Thank you for going so far just for our sakes. I'll be able to feed a lot of people with all of this!

3cxl4xfi oPlease do. I hope you will continue your generosity for years to come.

Pj4xam53 oAs long as I can still stir a spoon, I'll keep at it!

Sappj2bl o

3cxl4xfi oYou needn't do that for us... It was merely a friendly favor.

Pj4xam53 oYou kidding? I can't just accept this much food for free! Here, take it.

3cxl4xfi oAll right, I will take it.

9qk5ifz8 o I like how he made the most token effort to politely refuse, and then he just went "GIMME GIMME GIMME". Also, I'm still wondering if we compensated the town for the food we took from them.

3cxl4xfi oGood day to you, Ms. Marybelle!

3358ciob o

Not bad at all, 40 Derricks! That's more than we would've gotten out of a treasure chest.

4mk1lmmv oCpzbdgue o

When a merc gets crippled, this happens.

Ps4nmuuw oBecause of this, these mercenary contracts have been ended. Please take this into consideration when reorganizing our troops.

Gmwwfm6m o

Let's go visit her. Even though they're established to recover at the abbey, the mercenaries will still be found in their usual hiring locations, whereas permanent recruits are nowhere to be seen.

Fznbdlg7 o

Ons14mdv oHopefully, this'll give some comfort to the families of his victims. Real nice work out there. Here's your reward of 2700D.

9mvo1iqm o

Ons14mdv oIt's been a while since we last spoke, tactician. How do you fare?

Lgjkwhcy o I was hoping I'd avoid talking to you about anything that isn't dead bodies and cash, you know.

Ons14mdv oStill as friendly as ever, eh... Don't you know why that girl stopped chasing you around?

Lgjkwhcy o She got tired?

Ons14mdv oNah... Let's just say, I just so happen to manage her... other workplace, so when I heard of your predicament, I decided to pull some strings for my friend's sake. "My friend" being you, of course.

Uedfz3v4 o ...W-What did you...

Ons14mdv oMaybe you should show some gratitude to me? It's only right... My offer is still up.

Uedfz3v4 o...Y-You...!

Ons14mdv oStill nothing? Hmph, you're one tough guy to crack. But I'll crack you eventually. One way... or another...

Uedfz3v4 o.......

Korsyhaa oO7zlixdj o8eiipylh o

So, uh. Anyway. Let's check out our progress with the bounties. It's... not looking that bad, actually. We missed Krishna, Garos and Pisaro, but other than that, we're not doing that bad.

Eyq9rott o

Kvbwgecb oBut once I'm healed up, I'll be back to my old self again.

Ptqwhdse o

That was fun. Let's proceed now. I'm reusing this screenshot from an old update because I didn't remember to take one here. It doesn't matter, but I just felt like I'd say it.

Fqjvxykz o

Anyway, we find Roswick alongside a man who looks important. I mean, look, he has his own palette and everything!

J54w8fog o

It is Duke Bernard, the famous leader of the Western front! Finally we meet him in person.

...Wait, what is he doing here?

Pobpolog oYour Highness?! But what are you doing here...? Shouldn't you be leading our forces at the front lines in Serenia?!

4trohhnq oI was, but I received an urgent summons by His Majesty the King.

Lgjkwhcy oOf course it's him... It's always him...

23rias5n oBzrcogf9 o

Pobpolog oYou must return to the Western Front at once to lead the troops! I will explain to His Majesty...

0au29xfb oUhab5uxp o

Pobpolog oWhat? What do you mean?

4trohhnq oIf I disobey the king's direct order, the entire Western Front's leadership will come into question. I already have a target on my back. I don't want to drag them into this.

Pobpolog oBut still... Your life is at stake, Your Highness...

4trohhnq oThat's not necessarily true. At least, I'd like to believe that even the king wouldn't be that stupid...

Uedfz3v4 o ...I really hope the game will explain what reason could Volcens possibly have to murder the man who is singlehandedly saving the Berwick League...

Pobpolog o......

27uaakhj o

4trohhnq oBut despite the dangers, you and Bernstol still supported me. If you hadn't sent me food and money like you did, I'd have starved to death within months. I owe you both my life for what you've done for me.

Pobpolog oI'm so sorry... It was the least I could do to atone for what I'd done...

4trohhnq oNo, the fault lies with me... I was only twelve, but still, I let my grandfather and others use me... Grandfather told me he would blot out my father's shame, and I trusted him... And because of that foolishness, we fought that gruesome civil war for eight long years.

4u42upwc o

9qk5ifz8 o If you're lost, don't worry, that's normal. Berwick less awful than TRS about it, but it still loves to drop large backstories for characters that we haven't even met without warning. I'll try my best to write a summary later.

Pobpolog oThat isn't true, Your Highness! Mordias and his men were to blame, and I along with them! I beg for your forgiveness...

4trohhnq oYou were simply fulfilling your duty to my late uncle as his subjects. I have nothing to forgive you for, nor do I bear you any ill will.

Pobpolog oThank you, Your Highness...

Pust6q3q o

4trohhnq oThe Empire is closing in. This is a time of life and death. We don't have the luxury to be dwelling on evils of the past now.

Pobpolog oBut if anything should happen to you, what will become of the Western Front in your absence?

4trohhnq oIf it comes to that, Bernstol will continue taking care of things. Even if I do not return, he will be able to fill my place just fine.

Pobpolog o......

Lgjkwhcy o I just hope he'll be able to continue sending Dad Funds my way...

Rd1yrgq7 oMvqejv6z o

Pobpolog oYour Highness...

Ayktnqcw o

Suddenly, the map room!

8ui7bvq0 oQpgurwts o
 
En9zgiyq o
 
Miujv4x4 o

9qk5ifz8 o I'm pretty sure "our ally" Rosecchar is never met in person. Now that I think about it, maybe we do meet him once? But no more. Still, it's great to know that he exists and is our ally. Even if he does look like a serial molester.

Y8ew3fye oThey are currently holding, but the situation remains dire.

5zfwsby9 oGxmevx8v o

9qk5ifz8 oR.I.P. that one guy from the prologue introduction. Still, like in TRS, I enjoy how this game goes out of its way to establish that the NPCs are off doing things, and it's not just us solving every problem in the world. I mean, hell, when it comes to the war as a whole, we've done absolutely nothing thus far. Bernard is the true protagonist of this war.

Y8ew3fye oWith Serenia's capital Zaltzhaim now liberated, our forces stand ready to continue into Yutoria.

Cuf5dyk3 o

9qk5ifz8 oLooks like Bernard has been doing some progress. If you recall, at the start of the game Serenia was in enemy hands. Now Bernard is well on his way to reclaim a second country. It'd be a shame if something happened to him before he could literally change the tides of the war, eh?

Lgydfoij o

Y8ew3fye oBornia's troops are well-trained, unlike our new recruits. We can't break their line like this. Does anyone have any ideas? If you have a plan that could turn things around, speak up.

Meoilxpy oLord Vanmilion, may I?

Y8ew3fye oGo ahead, Lord Reese. What's this idea of yours?

Bs8nwu8m oIt is not just one idea, Lord Vanmilion. I have van million ideas!

Y8ew3fye o......

Bs8nwu8m oHeheh, get it? I said I have van mil--

Y8ew3fye oAnd do you know how many times I have heard that one, Lord Reese? Well, do you?

Meoilxpy o...sorry. Jokes aside, I do have a good idea.

Y8ew3fye oSigh... Go on.

 

Meoilxpy oThere is a fortress and port town called Turon on the Morra Strait just south of the Bornian border. I believe it is around here...

Zaagzhpw o

This map scene is less wonky than the last, but still, Turon shows up for like half a second and then the scene ends.

Czssiqp5 o

Meoilxpy oDuke Reed of Bornia's son, Vester, along with his subordinates, is trapped there by Bornian troops.

Y8ew3fye oI heard something along those lines as well, that Vester had defied his father's will and gone rogue... But that was months ago. The last I heard, his situation seemed dire...

Meoilxpy oAre you personally acquainted with Vester, Lord Vanmilion?

Y8ew3fye oBefore the war, he was one of my most trusted friends. He is both brave and astute. I know the people of Bornia are glad to have him as the Duke's successor.

Meoilxpy oIn that case, I propose we send a rescue mission to Lord Vester and welcome him back into the League. In addition to gaining a strong ally, we may be able to rally support from others in Bornia to rejoin our side.

Y8ew3fye oI would certainly like to try... But it will be a very dangerous task.

Icggtxda o

Y8ew3fye oYou may die before you can even reach where he is being held.

Lgjkwhcy o Vanmilion, we've been taking on dumb suicide missions the whole game. It's nothing more than a meme at this point.

Meoilxpy oStill, this may be our only chance... We'll have to take the risk. I say we sneak into town at night and try to leave before dawn.

Y8ew3fye oBut if the rescue party fails to escape the town by dawn...

Meoilxpy oShould that happen, we'll have to deal with it when the time comes. I understand fully how dangerous this mission I've proposed is.

5mensgkj o

Y8ew3fye oI understand. Thank you, Lord Reese. I will obtain Father's approval, so for now, go prepare for your mission to Turon.

Meoilxpy oOf course. I will make ready.

Ds6o3n7w o

Okay, and now that that's done, it's time to... Go back to the Bernard subplot! I don't know why they decided to insert the explanation of today's mission in the middle of that, but...

Also, this song. Probably my favorite in the entire soundtrack. Just my opinion, of course.

L1pex6l8 o

Wait... Sienna! Sienna's here too! Oh yeah, this is gonna be great then. I've missed you, Sienna! Destroy Volcens like only you know how to!

Oeiwj2li o

4trohhnq oIndeed, Your Majesty. I have not heard from you in quite a long while.

2xdxkwpj o...Do I detect a hint of reproach, Bernard?

4trohhnq oNo, Your Majesty... That was not my intent at all. This is simply the first time we have come face to face in fifteen years.

Bfwjbodz o

Txzubig9 o You can just read the sarcasm in that line.

2xdxkwpj oHmph, how amusing... The last I saw you, you were being sent to the penal colony in Mineva. As I recall, you were weeping then, too, on account of your rusty chains.

4trohhnq o......

Lgjkwhcy o Oof... damn... shit, I hate it, but I've got to hand it to Volcyboy: that was a good one.

2xdxkwpj oMargrave Calvin of Mineva kept a close watch on you during your stay... "Prince Bernard has lost his mind. He no longer poses any threat." For twelve long years, he reported that news to my father. Imagine my surprise in seeing you so fully recovered, dear cousin!

Qrkctpnh o

4trohhnq oHis Late Majesty sentenced me to live in exile in the colony of Mineva. I accepted my sentence, and I made no attempts to escape. After twelve years, I was pardoned, and the king allowed me to live freely as a commoner...

2xdxkwpj oYou were the leader of a rebellion against the Kingdom of Veria! You should have been executed! Why on earth would Father choose to simply exile you, let alone pardon you after a mere twelve years...?

Bpfqxfmg o

9qk5ifz8 o Ah, yes. It begins. Honestly, if I've one complaint about the story, it's that there isn't enough Sienna. We haven't seen her since chapter 1, and that's just... so sad.

2xdxkwpj oWhat?! Arles killed himself!

Lgjkwhcy o By the way, Kaga used the "dead brother of royalty who was actually a good guy" character in two games in a row, and didn't even bother to change his name. Well, I suppose in TRS he was called Arless, but...

2xdxkwpj oAnd what reason would Father have to atone for that traitor's death?

Zig1fg6v oYou know as well as I that Uncle Arles was no traitor. He was accused of Grandfather's murder under false charges.

2xdxkwpj oHold your tongue, Sienna! I wil not allow you to disgrace Father's good name like this!

Lgjkwhcy oI mean, given what we've heard about Mordias... He was even worse than you, somehow!

Zig1fg6v oThen let's ask High Priestess Quescria to recall for us. What do the Church archives say of the death of Veria's 32nd king, His Majesty King Harmell VII?

I4tujosw o

Xzxwjjvk oAn assassin sent by Pope Urbanus of Raze was responsible. However, only the head clergy and royal family were informed of this.

Zig1fg6v oAnd there you have it. Uncle Arles was not a traitor. Though they never saw eye to eye, both Father and he wished for this kingdom's prosperity. But when Arles was accused for the assassination of King Harmell, the war had already all but begun. The evidence against Arles was surely damning, but his supporters swore that it was a forgery. His father-in-law, King Carloman of Leia, was his strongest advocate. But as the trial turned more and more contentious, he believed it would turn into all-out war if it continued. And so, he believed the best course of action to take was to admit to the false charges.

Rudtitwn o

Zig1fg6v o...Sadly, his actions only served as the spark for the flames of war. Not even Father knew the whole truth until learning it from Apostle Silpha's divine oracle. I think the truth slowly began to eat away at him, and he felt remorse toward Arles's orphaned children. "They say Bernard was the leader of the rebellion, but what does a child of only twelve years know? Surely he was only a victim of Carloman and his followers..." That was his belief. If you truly have the makings of a king, Brother, you should respect the will of your forebears.

9qk5ifz8 oOkay, so Sienna just dropped a whole history lesson on us. Don't worry, don't worry, summary is coming soon. Now, what is Volcens's reaction?

Fiab0oed o

Lgjkwhcy o As per usual, he is incapable of listening and doesn't understand anything, even though this is the story of his own family. Wonderful.

Zig1fg6v oAs the adopted son of the late Duke of Diana, Bernard once again holds a position of respect. Together with Margrave Bernstol, he organized the lords of the west into a formidable army. Furthermore, he has shown remarkable dedication and results in his efforts to repel the Raze Empire. In recognition of his deeds, I propose you fully reinstate Bernard's status as a member of the royal family. Surely there is no one better to lead the Berwick League's forces than a prince of the Kingdom of Veria.

2vfefd6o o

Lgjkwhcy oOh, no... There goes Waluigi But Lame.

Hxq4hdqj oIf we pardon this former renegade, then we cannot keep order! Doing so would even endorse the old rebellion as being legitimate! It would leave a dark stain on the pages of the Kingdom of Veria...

Zig1fg6v oI believe that judgment will be for future generations to make, Minister Padolf, not you.

Z3nqg7ql o

Txzubig9 o Ahahahahahah... There's the Sienna I've missed so much.

Hxq4hdqj oE-Er... Lord Herman, what do you think of this?

Jhvoux35 o I am merely a military advisor. It is not my place to speak for the royal or noble families.

Txzubig9 oHah! And Herman won't bother to save little Padolf's butt this time around! Poor, poor little idiot.

Hxq4hdqj o...What about you, Duke Roswick?

Pobpolog oThanks to Duke Bernard's successes, the Empire has halted its attack here on our border at Remagen. My only concern is for him to return to his post at the Western Front.

Lgjkwhcy oThank goodness Roswick is here to remind everyone that Bernard is, in fact, the only reason we aren't all dead yet, and he's completely useless kneeling down in this room.

Hv5cxftc o

2xdxkwpj oHmm...

Xzxwjjvk oYour Majesty, Duke Bernard has come a long distance from Serenia to stand before you today. Perhaps it would be best to let him rest for the evening and resume this conversation later...

2xdxkwpj o...I will allow it. I myself have grown fatigued as well from Sienna's ceaseless rambling.

Lgjkwhcy oHoo boy, this guy must've been hell on his teachers... He can't handle a five-minute history lesson! And he's the king! The king!

2xdxkwpj oBernard, return to your quarters. We will continue this in due time.

4trohhnq oYes, Your Majesty...

H3hnzput o

Well, that ended... catastrophically, but that's about as much as one can hope for when Volcens is involved. At least he didn't run out of the room this time.

Anyway, for the summary. The timeline of events, if I understand them correctly, goes something like this:

First, the old king dies to a Razite assassin. His son, Arles, is framed for the murder. As a civil war between his defenders and his brother Mordias's followers threatens to begin, Arles falsely confesses and commits suicide in an attempt to mantain peace. However, his sacrifice was in vain, as King Carloman of Leia drags Arles's 12-year-old son, Bernard (Carloman's grandson-in-law), into a rebellion. The rebellion is defeated in the ensuing war, and Mordias strips Bernard of all his titles and exiles him. Bernard makes no attempts to escape, but survives with the help of Roswick and Bernstol. Eventually, the guilt-ridden Mordias pardons him and allows him to return as a commoner. Bernard joins the military, and climbs the ranks until he eventually becomes leader of the western front and singlehandedly saves the war for us. Volcens is an idiot.

I think that's about everything. Now, only question is: we know from chapter 3 that Mordias had the Apostle, her husband and the order of knights he led murdered and blamed it on Raze, which started the whole war. Why would he do that, if the one who killed the old king was a Razite to begin with? And Roswick did say that the Eight Years of Blood were Mordias's fault...

Something's really wrong here, that much is for sure. But it no longer matters. Mordias already paid for his crimes. I just hope Volcens doesn't do anything stupid with Bernard...

Xlsxvrsp o

And now, for something hopefully less depressing.

Meoilxpy oThank you for coming to see me so we could talk like this.

4trohhnq oOf course. I did promise Lynette I would pay you a visit.

T589c7pr o

...Oh, no...

H7e4hbin o

Oh, no.

Vbzqtgap oE2isjz6i o

Oh, nooooooo!

1ccuh2rb oL7q6zy7p o

Meoilxpy oW-Wait! What's going on here? Release him at once, I command you!

H3clkvy8 oI can't do that. I've got direct orders from His Majesty.

Meoilxpy oNo... Duke Bernard...!

Iqnxe8mx o

Goddamnit, Volcens! No!

7ajnehbu oI was given strict orders not to let him speak to anyone...

Stx9k60n oDid you not hear me? Step aside. Now.

Gxljftzy oSc0mmvbc o

I mean, it's obviously Sienna, but as long as there is no face, I'll take the opportunity to use that portait.

4trohhnq oPrincess Sienna? I'm surprised to see you in a place like this...

Zig1fg6v oMy brother is going to have you executed tomorrow morning. I've prepared for your escape.

Uedfz3v4 o Even the king's own fucking sister has to work around him and stage a prison break so the Berwick League doesn't die because of his incompetent ruling! This is ridiculous.

4trohhnq oI'm sorry... But I won't run away.

Zig1fg6v oBut why?! If you stay here, you'll die!

Krve6i0e o

Zig1fg6v oDuke Bernard!

4trohhnq oI have nothing else to say to you, Princess. Go home!

Zig1fg6v o......

Lgjkwhcy o Well... There we have it. This is Volcens's worst fuck-up in the entire game. Pretty much everything bad that'll happen from here on out can be traced back to this one decision. Thanks, Volcens. Really.

Kllxogul o

Of course, Sienna isn't about to give up so easily...

2xdxkwpj oSienna? Now this is a rare sight. It's not often that you willingly seek my company.

Lgjkwhcy oPerhaps you should consider why that is? Maybe it's because you're, hmm... A garbage person!?

Zig1fg6v oI beg of you, Brother... Don't do this to Lord Bernard...

2xdxkwpj oOf course you're here about him... It's too late, Sienna. His fate is already decided.

Zig1fg6v oWhy?! He's done nothing wrong!

2xdxkwpj oOf course he has. He is inciting the people to gather an army and overthrow my reign.

Zig1fg6v oWhat?!

2xdxkwpj oDon't you understand? Bernard is a grand hero to the people of the western regions.

Onn4e9jf o

2xdxkwpj oI will not allow the Eight Years of Blood to repeat all over again.

Uedfz3v4 o ...Oh, please... First, he'd be entirely justified if he did that. The entire world would cheer him on! And second, what!? If he wanted to do that, he already would've done it! The guy's powerful enough to drive back the Empire, while you're cornered in Narvia fighting a losing war on two fronts! None of this makes any sense... VolceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS!!

Zig1fg6v o...Lord Herman put this nonsense into your head, didn't he?

2xdxkwpj oAt one time, I listened to Roswick... But once I considered it carefully, I realized how idiotic I was being. It would be easier to keep a demon in the courtyard than to control a man like Bernard. I have Lord Herman to thank for helping me see that.

Lgjkwhcy o Ah, Herman... Why is it that your name always comes up in one way or another when Volcens is being an integral idiot?

Yhqq1ihc o

2xdxkwpj oHmph, that foolishness again? I have no time to listen to the ravings of a hysterical woman. Leave me.

R6hvrlg9 o

9qk5ifz8 o She's coming closer...

2xdxkwpj oBe silent! I told you to leave my presence!

Txzubig9 o Push him!

Lfbwih1i o

Txzubig9 oPush him off the balcony, quick! We can blame the wind!

2xdxkwpj oYou stubborn woman... Fine! I will reduce his sentence and spare him...

Txzubig9 o...Let him sign the required documents to spare Bernard, and then push him off the balcony!

2xdxkwpj o...But under one condition.

Zig1fg6v oA condition...? ...All right. If it's something I can do...

So2mfvit o

Uedfz3v4 oNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHE WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE YOUR SCENES BEARABLE! THOSE TWO TIMES SHE WAS PRESENT, THAT IS!

Zig1fg6v o...I understand. If it will save Duke Bernard...

2xdxkwpj oNow that I recall, Grandfather always did plan for you to marry Bernard... Are you really doing all this just to protect an arranged marriage?

Zig1fg6v o......

Tbuay8lo o

Txzubig9 oOh ho ho ho... Ahhhh, scratch what I've been saying. Don't push him off the balcony. That'd be too quick a death. He needs to bleed.

Wbui2uvj oTzueve5q o

Meoilxpy oI have some bad news...

Qj4hqex5 o

Uedfz3v4 o Only because Volcens is in charge! He needs somebody to go and murder him to death! Ward, I think you'd be the best man for the task. You're the Endgame Beard, after all.

3cxl4xfi oIf Duke Bernard cannot return, it will cause much trouble for your father...

Meoilxpy oWhat can we do?

3cxl4xfi oThis is beyond us, I fear. It is a power struggle among the branches of the royal family... Only the Princess and Duke Roswick would be able to do anything...

Ceyknqbw o

Meoilxpy o......

S8oxrtr3 o

Finally, the chapter starts in earnest. First off, the letter of the month.

P1cprzid o
 
8u0n2bcl o

19gazxsi oI heard that Duke Bernard has been summoned to Navaron by His Majesty himself. I asked if I could accompany him, but Father scolded me severely for it. It was so foolish of me to ask such a selfish request of the Duke... If you see him when he gets to Navaron, please apologize to him again for me.

Lgjkwhcy o Bit late for that, I'm afraid... Wait, but how did Bernard get here so fast? I thought it took half a year for Reese to make it! Do all the letters from Lynette arrive six months late too? Though, I do suppose Reese was leading an army... Bernard probably only took a handful of knights with him.

19gazxsi oFather has been very stressed as of late. I worry that he may be overexerting himself. I will pray for his well-being. The war has certainly taken a toll on all of us...

Txzubig9 o Ohoho, you don't even know the half of it... It's only going to go downhill from here, my dear Lynette.

19gazxsi oFather has arranged for two of our best horses to be sent to you with this letter.

9qk5ifz8 o Oh, so instead of Dad Funds, we get Dad Horses! They're two free Sinon Stallions, to be precise, which is... honestly amazing.

19gazxsi oHow I wish that I could climb aboard one of these horses and rush to Navaron to see you!

19gazxsi oTo you, dear Reese, and to Duke Bernard, may Mother Veria bless you both in all that you do.

19gazxsi oLove, Lynette.

Kgwt7wkh oMd7si2qb o

Hurray, horses!

Tcaiuuxb o

Only two citizen requests this time. The third requires Czene, and, well...

Tcaiuuxb o

The thund-- The thunder god!? Holy shit, that escalated quickly! "Please get my mirror back", "please get me shields", "please save my father", "THE THUNDER GOD"

7hg2vige o

Euilmzmc oGot anything new for sale?

Phrbyqeh oThat I do! Well, not really... Sort of...

Euilmzmc oYou lost me. Do you have any new bows or arrows for sale, or don't you?

Phrbyqeh oLet me explain. Y'see, there's this alchemist in Turon by the name of Columban...

Euilmzmc oAn alchemist?

Phrbyqeh oThat's right. You ever heard of those so-called arrows of the thunder god?

J8zdrda2 o

Lgjkwhcy o Relax, Sherlock. They deal 7 thunder damage. Unless lightning strikes also deal only that kind of damage in Lazberia?

Euilmzmc oThey're really rare, though.

Phrbyqeh oWell, my friend Columban knows how to make Raijin Arrowheads! Though according to him, these might be his last.

Euilmzmc oWhat do you mean?

Phrbyqeh oColumban's been getting sick. Keeps going on about how he's not long for this world and all that. Anyway, he's been my friend for years, and he's a great alchemist.

Euilmzmc o......

Hwz1zmhu o

Phrbyqeh oThis was just before Bornia turned coat and sided with the Empire. And now, he's out of my reach...

Euilmzmc o...Do you want me to go and fetch the arrowheads for you?

Phrbyqeh oWhat?! You can't do that! Turon's occupied by Bornia now!

Euilmzmc oI'm well aware, but my next mission is actually in Turon.

Phrbyqeh oOh, if that's the case... Would you please stop by and get the arrowheads for me, if you can?

Euilmzmc oSure. Just tell me where I can find him, and I'll make sure to get them.

Phrbyqeh oColumban lives in an old cottage just a bit northwest of the fort in Turon. Give him my best, would you? I'd come if I could, but now that it's become enemy territory...

Euilmzmc oI understand. I'll be sure to pass on your goodwill.

Phrbyqeh oThanks a bunch, Sherlock. You're doing me a big favor here. Take care out there!

Axaomavr o

Traveling party, huh? What kind of party, though?

Gr22qdc0 o

Emkzrccq oBut it was custom-made! Even if I ordered another one, there's just not enough time...

Uzszu1bt o

Xhqpmjzv oAfternoon, Lady Tianna! How is it that every time we cross paths, you look even more beautiful than before?

F4vfjzvm o

Txzubig9 o Ahahahahahahahahahah... Poor guy just got demolished.

Xhqpmjzv oFlattery? No, I meant every word! Now, what can I get for you? This one's on the house.

Ps4nmuuw oOh, Mr. Alex... Who is this gentleman?

Xhqpmjzv oAh, he's a friend from way back. He's the head of a troupe of traveling performers.

Kltgleru o

Emkzrccq oAlex has told me a great many things about you, Lady Tianna!

Ps4nmuuw oKarmell... Hmm, I believe I may have seen a production of yours before.

Emkzrccq o'Tis a privilege to have had you among our humble audience, my fair lady.

Ps4nmuuw oI see you too are no stranger to Mr. Alex's brand of honeyed words... What troubles are you having?

Xhqpmjzv oWell, it's like this...

Yqmhszlw o

9qk5ifz8 o Nonsense. We love to do trivial requests in the middle of our battles for random people we meet. Well, long as you have a reward in store for us, that is. And please, nothing to do with nets. I've had enough net business for a lifetime.

Xhqpmjzv oBut what are you planning to do if you don't get her help?

Emkzrccq oWell, you do have a point there...

Ps4nmuuw oI truly don't mind. Would you share the details of your troubles with me?

Emkzrccq oWell, it's like this... We're based out of here in Navaron, but we occasionally go out to perform in the nearby towns and villages. However, it seems I accidentally left a costume at one of the towns we visited on our tour... It's an extremely important outfit, as it's worn by the lead actor in our latest production.

5rnc4cdk o

Emkzrccq oFor now, I've been looking into hiring some street performers and magicians to replace the act... But if we can't put on our play, I doubt we'll be able to make back enough money to stay in business...

Ps4nmuuw oYes, I imagine your revenue from putting on plays is quite different from showing simple magic tricks...

9qk5ifz8 o I don't know, I'd pay to watch this game's magic animations! They're gorgeous!

Emkzrccq oAnd in these dreary days, people need to remember to smile more than anything, don't you agree? I'd hate to tell my troupe that we have to disband after all this time we've spent together...

Ps4nmuuw oDo you remember where it was that you forgot your costume?

Emkzrccq oYes, I'm sure of it.

U3vbtgqi o¡

Emkzrccq oBut now, with things going as they are in Bornia...

Xhqpmjzv oYes, but Lady Tianna here serves as a secretary for the Knights of Sinon.

Emkzrccq oThe Knights of Sinon?! Is that true, Lady Tianna?

Ps4nmuuw oAs citizens of the Berwick League, we all have a responsibility to do what we can to help. ...I will ask Lord Reese to see what he can do.

Emkzrccq oLady Tianna... 

47tlryig o

 

B9hpkntq oOh, please! Please, I beg of you! Retrieve my costume for me, lest my great career in the world of acting be torn to shreds! To smithereens! To... bits!

Uv714man oRelax, Seamus. I'm sure everything will be all right. I remember these people. They're the most honorable knights I've ever met.

B9hpkntq oI do hope you are correct, Vincent... If I lose this job, mayhap I shall be forced to return to banditry! I have had my share of pillagery for a lifetime, thank you very much! To bring joy to people by enacting epic happenings, it is so much more... fulfilling!

Uv714man oWell, don't you worry. If I recall correctly, the same day I was saved by them, these guys went out of their way to retrieve a book for some guy they met at a tavern! Could've been this tavern, in fact! They're kind and selfless men and women. We're in good hands.

Wwxfniqz oWhat!? They're... they're the greatest heroes of our generation! It is truly a miraculous fortune that we may be aided in our plight by wonderful champions such as them! I am... I am the happiest man in the world!!

Uv714man oHahahah... I'll never believe you were once a brigand.

 

P7zedxd8 o...Maybe this is a sign, you know? A sign that I shouldn't pursue this path...

Z2hvx99u oCome now, Teacher. This is as far away from the battlefield as we could possibly go. I think this is perfect!

P7zedxd8 oYes, but... H-Have you seen me at the rehearsals? I'm terrible...

Z2hvx99u oWe've been over this, Teacher. This will be your sixth play, and so far Mr. Karmell has nothing but praise for you.

P7zedxd8 oW-Well, still... I think I could do better.

Z2hvx99u oAnd I think you could relax a bit. This isn't the army anymore. You don't need to do everything perfectly, nobody's lives are on the line here.

P7zedxd8 oAnd yet you're so diligent, practicing day in and day out... Almost as if you were still fighting in the frontlines yourself.

Z2hvx99u oHahah... Oh, but you know that's just the way I am! I can't help it if I'm competitive, right?

P7zedxd8 oHeh, I suppose not... Thank you for sticking with me. I'm glad I could count on you to help me when I left Bornia.

Z2hvx99u oHey, what are friends for? I owed you so much. Besides, I like this job.

P7zedxd8 oHeh... I guess I do, too... Thanks. Really.

 

Axpvd8kx o

With those out of the way, we have an event with Enid.

Vzckrnh6 oKga65ddg o

She's browsing the library.

Lt8yx6xu o

Eyyy, Almuth! It's been a while since we last saw you.

R9revija oAaah! Y-You startled me...

Lgjkwhcy o He was there the whole time! How can you miss him and his oversized collar?

Wyuzeypu oOh, forgive me... My name is Almuth. You looked a bit lost... I'm basically a regular here, so I thought I might be able to help.

R9revija oOh, I see... Is there something in particular you're researching here, Almuth?

Wyuzeypu oIndeed, there is! I'm looking into the history of this country, and the Berwick League. I'm a student, you see. I'm aiming to become a historian.

R9revija oReally? That sounds difficult. Oh, can I ask you something? It's related to history, so maybe you'll be able to tell me...

Wyuzeypu oOf course, ask away! That is why I said hello, after all.

Cs9xyd5h o

Wyuzeypu oMagic, you say? I'm afraid I don't know how to use it. I know about the origins of magic and its historical uses, but quite little about the art itself.

R9revija oOh, I see... Sorry for putting you on the spot.

Wyuzeypu oIt's no worry. I wish I had more to tell you. However, I believe that there are books on magic on the east shelves, if you wish to read about it. If I may ask, what is your interest in the art of magic?

R9revija oWell, I... I want to learn how to use it.

Wyuzeypu oAh, I see. Oh, may I ask your name?

R9revija oAh, right! I'm Enid. I'm currently serving under the Knights of Sinon.

6qoqcees o

R9revija oNo, I'm just an apprentice. These days, all I do is cause Lord Reese and the others trouble...

Uedfz3v4 o If you would just get some MAGIC...

Wyuzeypu oWell, all of us start as beginners. I certainly could not have come as far as I have without learning the basics. If learning magic is your aim, let me share with you a bit of my research. It's about the history of magic. Would you be interested?

R9revija oOf course! Please, tell me!

Ktuavljc o

In preparation for the lore dump, the game changes to more climatic music.

Qra2ce4y o

Wyuzeypu oThese orbs are technological artifacts left behind by an ancient civilization... the Sons of God. Or at least, that's what they called themselves back then. The legends say they came to this continent nearly 2000 years ago from the celestial kingdom of Altesia. They crushed the native tribes and built their new country with ease. The ancient Lazberian Empire.

R9revija o...And they did this with magic, I'm guessing?

Wyuzeypu oIndeed. The ability to warp nature is a powerful tool for destruction and for creation. And only the Sons of God could utilize the power stored in the orbs they created.

2n7gdgb3 o

Wyuzeypu oBut simply knowing the words isn't enough to use one. There are other requirements, as well. It takes intense training to learn to release the power and not have it dissipate, or worse, backfire. Not only that, but magical ability is also a hereditary trait possessed uniquely by the Sons of God.

R9revija oBut can't lots of people use magic these days? It's pretty rare, but it's not like it's unheard of...

Wyuzeypu oWell, it has been millennia... No doubt myriads of people share at least some blood from that era, despite the Old Empire's destruction.

4ze4cb5t o

Wyuzeypu oHowever, these are but a tiny fraction of the spells the ancients possessed. Unfortunately, knowledge of the techniques or even materials used to craft orbs became lost to time... Though I've heard tell of rumors that this country's alchemy has had major breakthroughs in rediscovering the art.

Lgjkwhcy o Yes, but if you listened to Leon, Lumiere's main thing is apparently that she has BEWBS!

Wyuzeypu oThe only surviving magic in the East, dark magic, was a favorite of the priests of Raze in the Old Empire. Dark magic was used to terrorize and enslave the peoples they subjugated.

9dvf33vy o

Wyuzeypu oIt's only natural that it should be given the name of "dark" magic.

9qk5ifz8 o Yeah, but it looks really cool! We've got to keep that in mind!

Wyuzeypu oLight magic, on the other hand, so named for its shining radiance, has mainly medical applications. It was used by the clergy of the goddess Veria, another deity in the Lazberian Empire's pantheon. It is the same magic that is used by the modern Church of Veria. It seems the original Verian clergy were separatists who rejected Raze's place as the supreme god. However, these early Verians had no means of defending themselves. As I said before, light magic was, and is, only really suited for healing. After the Old Empire's fall, the surviving Verians were endangered by the young Raze Empire.

R9revija oBut we know they survived... The fact that the Church still exists proves that, right?

Wyuzeypu oIndeed it does, but they did not defend themselves. Rather, others defended them. It's said that the Goddess Veria gave her three Chosen Ones power over nature to defend the early Church.

Czh26xpv o

Wyuzeypu oI speak, of course, of anima magic, which continues to be passed down in the lands they founded. The most treasured orbs of anima magic are inherited by the ruling dynasties of these realms. For four and a half centuries, they have stood by the Church of Veria in the Berwick League.

Wyuzeypu o...And that is what history has to say about the origins of magic. The legends, anyway.

Cxzufbp6 o

Txzubig9 o Ahahahah... Poor Almuth. He was so desperate to catch someone and drop a lecture on 'em. Still, I think that was some cool worldbuilding.

Wyuzeypu oSorry, did I perhaps lose you at some point? I tend to go a bit overboard with my explanations... If you ever want me to go over it again, feel free to ask me. I'm nearly always here, after all.

R9revija oThank you. It's a lot to take in, so thanks for taking the time to explain it to me.

Wyuzeypu oIt's no trouble at all! Your goal is unique and admirable, and I'd love to help if I am able.

Hgxenm8c o

Wyuzeypu oYou're too kind, Enid. While I'm happy I can study and pass down knowledge to prosperity... I'm just an observer. You and your fellow knights are the ones who truly get to write history.

9qk5ifz8 o Deep.

8cds50t3 o

You thought that was enough? Nope! Now we have to introduce Perceval to this three-way character arc! You know, an arc that depends on two, really squishy characters surviving the whole game!

Vtndxmer o

R9revija oPerceval?! What are you doing here?

Aofpvug6 oI thought I might offer my services to the mercenary guild here in town. I'm surprised to see you here at the Temple. You didn't strike me as particularly religious.

R9revija oAh, no, you're right... I was just visiting the library.

Aofpvug6 oOh, what for?

R9revija oWell, the truth is...

Ayelksxr o

R9revija oReally?! Is that all right? I don't want to trouble you...

Aofpvug6 oSure, I've got some free time apart from my mercenary jobs, so we can practice then. The thing is... not everyone can use magic. It's something you're born with. I'll do what I can to show you, but I don't want to get your hopes up... Plus, the training's really rough. I've been training for six years, but I'm mediocre at best with thunder and wind, and I can't even use fire... My mother left me her fire orb, Pallas Leia, but I don't think I'll ever be able to make use of it...

9qk5ifz8 oOh yeah, just casually drop this major plot point in the middle of the conversation. Cool move, Kaga.

R9revija oI know it'll be hard... But still, I want to try!

Dwpwhset o

Aofpvug6 oAs for where, we need a place out of the way, free of distractions... Know of any good places?

R9revija oI think Wale Hill might be good. Follow me, I'll show you.

X2gfodvk oIzwcvl0g o

9qk5ifz8 oAnd also for a date. I know because at least three of the game's romantic endings take place here. Kaga got some real mileage out of this hill.

Aofpvug6 oAll right, I'll start with the basics as they were taught to me. Ready to begin?

R9revija oReady!

Aofpvug6 oOkay, come stand here by the cliff, and look out over the sea.

H0lw5soy o
 
Xq6trfs3 o

Aofpvug6 oYou're going to do this for at least three hours a day, every day, until you start to notice a change.

R9revija oUm... How long will this part of the training last?

Aofpvug6 oIf you're lucky, about a year or so.

Uedfz3v4 o OH GOD that's... tch... 12 chapters!? Are you fucking kidding me, Perceval?! She doesn't have 12 chapters of availability! And neither do you, for that matter! Is that why she can't get any magic?! She needs to spend 12 fucking chapters leveling up before it happens?!

Aofpvug6 oIf nothing happens after three years, then I doubt anything ever will.

R9revija oW-What...? A whole year... at the earliest...?

Mvcz5jrg o

Ahahahahahahahah... There's even an awkward pause before the scene cuts to black. Amazing.

Ga6nsmkk o

Anyway, we're finally done with the text. First, let's hire Thaddy. Maybe this chapter I'll actually get some use out of him.

Pefuetwt o

...Wait, what? Why is... That's the third sidequest, the one that requires Czene! Why is it available now?

Pishzszd o

Well, I mean... Might as well?

Ldnafjfo o

Qoyv2mts oOr are you trying to get another black eye today?

Sttnsqol o

Lgjkwhcy o This is looking rather familiar... Especially because they reused both the bullies and Arthur's brother for different characters with the exact same role.

9qk5ifz8 o Also, Maris. This Maris is, uh... Different, from the other Maris. You know, the one from New Mystery? Best waifu from that game? Yeah...

Licapl8b oYou've got it on you, don't you?

Nnd6gnyf oN-No, I can't give you this money...

Qoyv2mts oThen I'll take it myself! There, wasn't that easy?

Licapl8b oSee you later! Hahaha...

M9eomf4d o

So we just witnessed a robbery. And none of the NPCs around there did anything to stop it. Wonderful.

Opagyhza o
 
Yxse497r o

Did he just stand there for hours!? Jesus...! Oh, and there's Thaddy. I never knew, but turns out Thaddy can also trigger this sidequest. It's just that Czene takes priority and the only way for her not to be present is if she's dead or unrecruited.

Bda25u8h oWhat happened? How'd you get all those bruises?

Nnd6gnyf oIt was the other neighborhood boys...

Bda25u8h oThose damn brats... Are you all right? What's your name?

Nnd6gnyf oIt's Maris... And I'm fine, but I couldn't stop them from taking all my money...

Bda25u8h oThen I guess you'd better man up and go take it back from them.

Nnd6gnyf oIt's just money... There's no need to go that far...

Igvolzcg o

Nnd6gnyf oBut I need to leave soon... I need to get home to Turon...

Bda25u8h oTuron... You're from Bornia?

Nnd6gnyf oYeah...

Bda25u8h o...You don't want to go there. It's about to become a warzone.

Nnd6gnyf o......

Bda25u8h oWhat's bugging you, kid? Tell me about it.

Nnd6gnyf o...When Bornia switched sides, my big sis and I both ran away to come to Navaron. But when we ran, she got caught by Bornian soldiers, and she... She didn't make it...

Bda25u8h o......

0tikdk8q o

Bda25u8h oAnd that means going back to Turon...

Nnd6gnyf oYeah... It's a cap she knitted for me as a present for my birthday.

Bda25u8h o...Like I said, it's too dangerous. You could just as easily be killed yourself coming back here.

Nnd6gnyf o......

Liuyctda o

Nnd6gnyf oHuh?!

Bda25u8h oWhere's your house?

Nnd6gnyf oI-It's just southeast of the town... But you don't mean that you'll--

Phms0krj o

9qk5ifz8 oTruly, he's the hero of the children. Ergh, as long as Czene is dead, of course.

Fabqdue6 oXsam4ruv oErelnzlg oPuguok0u oOkzjpy8l oNo3t4rzt o

Hiring mercenaries. For a change, I hired Sherpa instead of Clifford. It's been a while, and there are some gates that the Brymranger could eat through like they're nothing. Also, I need to get him his one point of happiness for his permanent recruitment before the next chapter. Hiring and deploying should suffice.

Ojjoujxb o

Perceval gets-- Oh, for fuck's fucking sake, he can't use lightning at base...

0chkyk2m o

Okay then. Owen gets it, as usual. Percy can take his standard thunder orb.

3dsy5yk9 o

He also gets a new heal orb, since he barely has any charges left on him.

Cwa3wnfr oVzpbvqwn oXe0ffyhw o

Arthur gears up. I considered taking Ruby to see if I could get her paralogue already, but she's already level 10, there's no hurry. Meanwhile, Arthur needs some happiness to be permanently recruited, so being deployed in a main mission will be good for him.

Tmukev6n oNrzh0nrz o

Sherpa gets some spare swords.

B4elfxsl o

Afterwards... I was forced to sell some things.

Fglv6ity o

I used the money for a round of vulneraries for everyone.

Koie5z5r oZqxcvevh oDax43yy0 o

And then... I sold a few more things to visit the restaurant. Perceval desperately needs hit.

Eyw1gwqd oUe6fc9qs oVq6uzppp o

Might as well give Owen the same, since he has all the capturing gear (blizzard and lightning).

5xtcchsj oK0fhdrfh oSrom9abl o

Strength and HP for Enid. She badly needs both boosts.

S2bua9yr o0lsottcs oFt5l5ygu o

Finally, just a little thing for Arthur. Mostly wanted the happiness.

Yymkcqxe oX1srm16n o

The stage is set. Heh, get it? Because we're going to help a band of performers... Ah, forget it. Next time, we go and rescue Lord Vester of Bornia from... uh, Bornia. We will encounter enemies, but none of them are as harmful as Volcens's leadership, so I'm sure we'll be fine. I... I hope so, at least. Anyway, anyway, farewell and all those nice things that I say at the end of updates. What do you mean, the death threats aren't nice? Do you want to die? I-I mean, goodbye! Ciao!

 

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Faye x 1

* Unavailable

Capture count: 1 (Daoud)

Reset count: 1 (Ward: 1)

 

Current perfect streak: Sorry nothing

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

 

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I'm doing it, don't worry.

Spoiler

>MFW I'm inconvenienced in my forum posting because of of being warned to do something:

SDRE.thumb.png.2b22bdb82fc74e5eaf59f8ae5

(Yeah, I got got too. 5 point warning, but still. :P)

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Put it in spoilers if you feel you'll delve into spoiler territory. I really don't mind at this point, the only way I'm going to return to 3H is if I spoil myself something cool. Kinda like how I played Ecclesia for the first time, all those years ago.

...Ah, who am I kidding, I've been considering going back to it for a while. As much as I like to crap on it, I had more fun with it than the other bottom-of-the-ranking-list titles, so... there's that. Honestly, what was I thinking when I put it below Echoes... Three Houses's gameplay may be a mess, but Echoes's gameplay is just plain shit!

Honestly? I've been tempted too.

Though at least I've been able to go after other things. Like watch Artemis... Fowl..... Ugh, that was legit fowl.

Or that Eurovison rom com...... As someone why actually watches it, it didn't lean enough into it, but could have been worse.

Or Scoob...... Oh man the comedy sucked and the VA changes were too distracting. Jeez my movie watching's been bad lately

On the other hand I've been reading a fair bit as well, easily ~1,500 pages between two books over a few days. And I actually liked both! Also been playing a few things, like a teensy bit more Daemon Ex Machina (It's still so badly presented. No massive slowdown yet) and finally actually played Owlboy. Not to completion yet, but I've gotten a fair bit in. Berwick's not half as pretty.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If you were in New Game+ you could've given the crest to your archer of choice. If not, then... oh well, too bad.

I was not using NG+ on my first AM playthrough. Chances are I would have just given it to Leonie and tried to make her broken. Because Leonie.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Right, right... I had thought you were talking about modding games. You have to crack your consoles open and perform all sorts of dark magic on it to mod, and then you can't even connect to the internet. On PC, the only way for it to be difficult is if the game itself is hard to mod, the hardware itself poses no resistance.

Well, considering you didn't want to connect to Switch's online, I don't see if this is an issue for you.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

On whom? Arthur or Adel? I've done nothing but sing Adel's praises. As for Arthur, well... It's mostly just jokes. But he does miss a lot, for some reason. I'd expect it from Perceval, but Arthur?

Arthur.

You talked a lot of crap about him.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've never said the particles in 3H are bad. If it came across as that, I apologize. What I always meant was that the particles in 3H are bad because they make the FPS tank to 10, which is inexcusable when you consider that there's already a 30 FPS cap that's supposed to prevent that sort of thing. The particles themselves are perfectly fine, it's just that they went overboard with them and the performance suffers for it.

Still, I'll admit the effect isn't that great. Kind of going for the low-hanging fruit to call me out on a passing comment of a bad screenshot of probably the most mundane particle effect in the game, but you're correct.

......

The worst cases are where the game slows down before that.

Besides, you know me, I've gotten into throwing any minor thing as a giant blot on Berwick's name as a response to your seeming worship of every motion it makes.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But why would we need to recruit Ward? We already have Ward!

What's better than one Ward?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She's not bad. She's just squishy. Fighting bosses with brave weapons is not her place. Or are you telling me every healer in the series is bad because they can't go up against their respective final bosses?

I mean, I don't think she's a bad unit, certainly not in this playthrough.

It's just, when she got demolished it was an easy response.

Jeez, I was a jerk in the last post. 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Is this a subtle shot at the time I compared her to Ike? Because the similarities are there. They're not 100% similar, but there are definitely some details.

Not a shot, just a realisation I had at the time.

Ike wasn't even on my mind.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's 25%, which for this game is average. Her bracket is 3, though, so it'll be a long time before she's forced to gain something. Not that it matters, I mean, have you seen how awesome she is? She don't need no stats!

It's not low for Berwick, yeah.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2wuos10r oMm? Oh, this? Yes, you could say that... But it's just a scratch. Nothing that will kill me.

Pj4xam53 oRight... Well, I hope you recover soon.

3cxl4xfi oDone already.

2wuos10r o'tis but a scratch.

It's not Marcel, but it is BK quote worthy.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

4trohhnq oNo, the fault lies with me... I was only twelve, but still, I let my grandfather and others use me... Grandfather told me he would blot out my father's shame, and I trusted him... And because of that foolishness, we fought that gruesome civil war for eight long years.

4u42upwc o

9qk5ifz8 o If you're lost, don't worry, that's normal. Berwick less awful than TRS about it, but it still loves to drop large backstories for characters that we haven't even met without warning. I'll try my best to write a summary later.

Twelve?

The only reason I'm not shocked is because I was reading Fire and Blood and there's a remarkable amount of commanders around that age.

Some of which were also in Bernard's situation. And if you ask which one, I will respond with Yes.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Cuf5dyk3 o

9qk5ifz8 oLooks like Bernard has been doing some progress. If you recall, at the start of the game Serenia was in enemy hands. Now Bernard is well on his way to reclaim a second country. It'd be a shame if something happened to him before he could literally change the tides of the war, eh?

That still the 'land duchies in Imperial hands.

But it is progress.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Icggtxda o

Y8ew3fye oYou may die before you can even reach where he is being held.

Lgjkwhcy o Vanmilion, we've been taking on dumb suicide missions the whole game. It's nothing more than a meme at this point.

Reese right now.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2xdxkwpj oHmph, how amusing... The last I saw you, you were being sent to the penal colony in Mineva. As I recall, you were weeping then, too, on account of your rusty chains.

4trohhnq o......

Lgjkwhcy o Oof... damn... shit, I hate it, but I've got to hand it to Volcyboy: that was a good one.

Volcens got a point.

I'm not happy to say it, but he did.

This cannot end well.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

4trohhnq oHis Late Majesty sentenced me to live in exile in the colony of Mineva. I accepted my sentence, and I made no attempts to escape. After twelve years, I was pardoned, and the king allowed me to live freely as a commoner...

2xdxkwpj oYou were the leader of a rebellion against the Kingdom of Veria! You should have been executed! Why on earth would Father choose to simply exile you, let alone pardon you after a mere twelve years...?

Bpfqxfmg o

2xdxkwpj oSDRE.thumb.png.2b22bdb82fc74e5eaf59f8ae5

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
I4tujosw o

Xzxwjjvk oAn assassin sent by Pope Urbanus of Raze was responsible. However, only the head clergy and royal family were informed of this.

Zig1fg6v oAnd there you have it. Uncle Arles was not a traitor. Though they never saw eye to eye, both Father and he wished for this kingdom's prosperity. But when Arles was accused for the assassination of King Harmell, the war had already all but begun. The evidence against Arles was surely damning, but his supporters swore that it was a forgery. His father-in-law, King Carloman of Leia, was his strongest advocate. But as the trial turned more and more contentious, he believed it would turn into all-out war if it continued. And so, he believed the best course of action to take was to admit to the false charges.

Rudtitwn o

Zig1fg6v o...Sadly, his actions only served as the spark for the flames of war. Not even Father knew the whole truth until learning it from Apostle Silpha's divine oracle. I think the truth slowly began to eat away at him, and he felt remorse toward Arles's orphaned children. "They say Bernard was the leader of the rebellion, but what does a child of only twelve years know? Surely he was only a victim of Carloman and his followers..." That was his belief. If you truly have the makings of a king, Brother, you should respect the will of your forebears.

Yeah, this sounds like something that would happen. Hell, you could argue Kaga's taking Tearring's plot around Arless and changing it.

Also, Urbanus has been around a while. Are we sure he's okay? Not just a literal puppet pope?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Zig1fg6v oAs the adopted son of the late Duke of Diana, Bernard once again holds a position of respect. Together with Margrave Bernstol, he organized the lords of the west into a formidable army. Furthermore, he has shown remarkable dedication and results in his efforts to repel the Raze Empire. In recognition of his deeds, I propose you fully reinstate Bernard's status as a member of the royal family. Surely there is no one better to lead the Berwick League's forces than a prince of the Kingdom of Veria.

2vfefd6o o

Look at Siena go.

Zig1fg6v o@Sienaaaaaaaaa: Today I am serving these dumb fools justice a la clam and green bean sauce.

Even Herman had nothing, good job.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hxq4hdqj oIf we pardon this former renegade, then we cannot keep order! Doing so would even endorse the old rebellion as being legitimate! It would leave a dark stain on the pages of the Kingdom of Veria...

Zig1fg6v oI believe that judgment will be for future generations to make, Minister Padolf, not you.

Z3nqg7ql o

On the one hand, Walublondie here does have a point.

This sort of thing could be used on Berwick as a "you accept traitors so easily, how could you be a nation?", especially if the right lies get told enough.

The problem is it's Bernard. You know, guy who's led the fightback so effectively it's working?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Anyway, for the summary. The timeline of events, if I understand them correctly, goes something like this:

First, the old king dies to a Razite assassin. His son, Arles, is framed for the murder. As a civil war between his defenders and his brother Mordias's followers threatens to begin, Arles falsely confesses and commits suicide in an attempt to mantain peace. However, his sacrifice was in vain, as King Carloman of Leia drags Arles's 12-year-old son, Bernard (Carloman's grandson-in-law), into a rebellion. The rebellion is defeated in the ensuing war, and Mordias strips Bernard of all his titles and exiles him. Bernard makes no attempts to escape, but survives with the help of Roswick and Bernstol. Eventually, the guilt-ridden Mordias pardons him and allows him to return as a commoner. Bernard joins the military, and climbs the ranks until he eventually becomes leader of the western front and singlehandedly saves the war for us. Volcens is an idiot.

I think that's about everything. Now, only question is: we know from chapter 3 that Mordias had the Apostle, her husband and the order of knights he led murdered and blamed it on Raze, which started the whole war. Why would he do that, if the one who killed the old king was a Razite to begin with? And Roswick did say that the Eight Years of Blood were Mordias's fault...

Something's really wrong here, that much is for sure. But it no longer matters. Mordias already paid for his crimes. I just hope Volcens doesn't do anything stupid with Bernard...

Knowing Mordias it was terrible.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Meoilxpy oThank you for coming to see me so we could talk like this.

4trohhnq oOf course. I did promise Lynette I would pay you a visit.

T589c7pr o

...Oh, no...

H7e4hbin o

THE FLAG IS RED ALERT ALERT

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, at least they can all try to lift him with their spears to maintain social distancing.

Also of course this is happening.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Zig1fg6v oMy brother is going to have you executed tomorrow morning. I've prepared for your escape.

Uedfz3v4 o Even the king's own fucking sister has to work around him and stage a prison break so the Berwick League doesn't die because of his incompetent ruling! This is ridiculous.

4trohhnq oI'm sorry... But I won't run away.

Zig1fg6v oBut why?! If you stay here, you'll die!

Krve6i0e o

YOU ARE LITERALLY THE HEAD OF THE RESISTANCE TO RAZE. IT'S NOT GOT MUCH LEFT TO ALL AND YOUR EFFORTS ARE HOLDING BACK THAT FALL. COME ON.

4trohhnq oI will die honourably to save Berwick.

Zig1fg6v oi WiLl DiE oNuRaBLEE To SaVe BERWicK- That's you, that's what you sound like.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Onn4e9jf o

2xdxkwpj oI will not allow the Eight Years of Blood to repeat all over again.

Uedfz3v4 o ...Oh, please... First, he'd be entirely justified if he did that. The entire world would cheer him on! And second, what!? If he wanted to do that, he already would've done it! The guy's powerful enough to drive back the Empire, while you're cornered in Narvia fighting a losing war on two fronts! None of this makes any sense... VolceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS!!

That's what paranoia does to you, anyone who's doing well in your name is a threat.

Volcens is just an awful people person.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Zig1fg6v o...Lord Herman put this nonsense into your head, didn't he?

2xdxkwpj oAt one time, I listened to Roswick... But once I considered it carefully, I realized how idiotic I was being. It would be easier to keep a demon in the courtyard than to control a man like Bernard. I have Lord Herman to thank for helping me see that.

Lgjkwhcy o Ah, Herman... Why is it that your name always comes up in one way or another when Volcens is being an integral idiot?

WELL FUCK BERWICK'S FUCKED

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

19gazxsi oFather has arranged for two of our best horses to be sent to you with this letter.

9qk5ifz8 o Oh, so instead of Dad Funds, we get Dad Horses! They're two free Sinon Stallions, to be precise, which is... honestly amazing.

19gazxsi oHow I wish that I could climb aboard one of these horses and rush to Navaron to see you!

I bet she'd like to be climbing that stallion, nudge nudge wink wink know what I mean?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
F4vfjzvm o

TiS.png.505494d7e8c41c5f15f5db76f0841578.pngWhy, I'd have to wonder if it's the only time you clean up Mr Alex?

Emkzrccq oOOOOOH SNAP

Xhqpmjzv o........

Emkzrccq oShe got you there, admit it.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Emkzrccq oBut now, with things going as they are in Bornia...

Xhqpmjzv oYes, but Lady Tianna here serves as a secretary for the Knights of Sinon.

Emkzrccq oThe Knights of Sinon?! Is that true, Lady Tianna?

How does he even know they're headed to Turon?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wwxfniqz o Uv714man o P7zedxd8 o Z2hvx99u o

That is a bizarre group to form and we know there wouldn't be enough time for them to meet and practice for this.

Maybe they're in training?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wyuzeypu oIndeed it does, but they did not defend themselves. Rather, others defended them. It's said that the Goddess Veria gave her three Chosen Ones power over nature to defend the early Church.

Czh26xpv o

Leia not having Thunder ruined the joke. Excuse me.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ayelksxr o

R9revija oReally?! Is that all right? I don't want to trouble you...

Aofpvug6 oSure, I've got some free time apart from my mercenary jobs, so we can practice then. The thing is... not everyone can use magic. It's something you're born with. I'll do what I can to show you, but I don't want to get your hopes up... Plus, the training's really rough. I've been training for six years, but I'm mediocre at best with thunder and wind, and I can't even use fire... My mother left me her fire orb, Pallas Leia, but I don't think I'll ever be able to make use of it...

9qk5ifz8 oOh yeah, just casually drop this major plot point in the middle of the conversation. Cool move, Kaga.

OKAY, THE SISTER'S A FIRE MAGE THEN.

So where's not Lilina then? I'm lost here.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Did he just stand there for hours!? Jesus...! Oh, and there's Thaddy. I never knew, but turns out Thaddy can also trigger this sidequest. It's just that Czene takes priority and the only way for her not to be present is if she's dead or unrecruited.

|At least that's something.

 

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6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wow, that's... so melodramatic. It's a 10 point warning, relax. You ain't gonna be banned for that. Heck, if that's your only warning so far, I can tell you that I have a higher total score, and yet here I am. I rectified my mistakes, the warnings expired and nothing else came of it. It's really nothing to lose your head about.

Oh...

tumblr_nnzvo6YaT61sk47ceo3_500.gif

... well, in that case:

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 40 - Volcens's worst mistake.

Spoiler
6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Warning: plot dumps ahead. Follow security prodecures within the premises, listen to the guide's instructions at all times and don't forget to wear protective gear.

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's a mood, right there. I know I wish I could attack my teammates in TF2 when I charge 'em up with the vaccinator and they still run from the fucking kritzkrieg uber. You idiots, the vaccinator blocks crits. Stop letting them advance.

(Ironically, Saria is most likely the closest thing to a TF2 medic in AK. Maybe)

(Also, her gun is actually for healing only: she attacks with her shield instead)

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Come now, even I know what cazzo means, and I don't know a lick of italian.

Immagine10.jpg

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She looks so angry. Must be a TF2 medic main too.

Uh...

... sort of.

(Incidentally, that's entirely fanfiction)

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She even has kinda the same color palette as Sylvis.

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Incidentally, I've got to give it to her: her design is actually fine. I like the trenchcoat.

Though if we are talking Sylvis:

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why does she go from smug to anime to dramatic to Reese?

Because they are 4 different characters...?

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

3cxl4xfi oNow, about the food...

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Vanmilion, we've been taking on dumb suicide missions the whole game. It's nothing more than a meme at this point.

Lgjkwhcy o We are basically this game's 404.

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

E2isjz6i o

Uedfz3v4 o VolceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS!!

(Was saving it for Reese & co., but eh)

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Kgwt7wkh oMd7si2qb o

Hurray, horses!

(This would have also been more suited for something else, but eh again)

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Relax, Sherlock. They deal 7 thunder damage. Unless lightning strikes also deal only that kind of damage in Lazberia?

e9e1e7f6930b9f67b7953a0e1375bb554485e824

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Emkzrccq oFor now, I've been looking into hiring some street performers and magicians to replace the act...

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Yes, but if you listened to Leon, Lumiere's main thing is apparently that she has BEWBS!

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nnd6gnyf oN-No, I can't give you this money...

Qoyv2mts oThen I'll take it myself! There, wasn't that easy?

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Afterwards... I was forced to sell some things.

 

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Anyway, anyway, farewell and all those nice things that I say at the end of updates. What do you mean, the death threats aren't nice? Do you want to die? I-I mean, goodbye!

 

Edited by Golb89
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Spoiler
8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Warning: plot dumps ahead. Follow security prodecures within the premises, listen to the guide's instructions at all times and don't forget to wear protective gear.

I forgot... where was this from?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oohhh, I see... that's... really not how I'd pronounce it from my spanish from Spain perspective, that's why I was a bit confused.

I meant that the other thing (which I have forgotten what it is) would be pronounced the same as Hanes (if a spanish speaker read the thing I forgot) and Hanes happens to be my last name. Yes I know everyone in my school can't fathom how to say it. Actually I think they're just bullying me because of it.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

When you analyze the two stories, the paralells are glaring. Nergal is just Guenchaos with kids, Sonia is just Carla with the perfection gimmick, the Black Fang is just Canaan except it's some assassin group instead of a nation, Lloyd and Linus are Barker and Julius except you fight them both, Hector is Holmes without the bad romance, Athos is Eisenbach except he doesn't die early...

It's not exactly the same all the time (the Elbert arc, for instance, is new), but there are so many similarities (similarities that in many cases completely contradict the lore of FE6) that it's pretty safe to say that they drew more than a bit of inspiration from TRS. Or, more likely, from the notes Kaga left behind when he quit IntSys.

I see...

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

German is just cooler. It's the kind of language that you just have to scream. It's scientifically impossible to be cool and composed while speaking german.

Yeah, it sounds professional and the way german abuses it's f's, "en"'s and "sch" are so cool. Even more so with how they pronounce w's as v's, I think that sounds cool too.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, kind of a given that the LP squad would reunite in the LP subforum.

Stares at The Roger LPing in FFtF

No but I meant in this thread. Every self respecting LP-er must come to Ruben's LPs. Atleast I feel like we should.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nope.

...Ahahah, well, it's probably better for her personally, but I know how the thing will end, and believe me, it's a waste not to see this through.

I hope you're right... it sucks... I hope Minas will end up fine, though that is not likely.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

......

...I can get another paella any time I want! I live in Spain!

Fair enough. Keep quoting, holy-bearded bastard. On another note... hmm this Paella is nice.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Same here. I respect people who enjoy them, but... yeah, no.

>Respect
>Plays Gachas
Pick one.

inb4 Ruben says "Reeee don't boss me, I'll pick both Mwahahaha!" and just falls into my trap anyways

Quote

Eeerrrrgh... I mean, he literally told her once that he didn't think she had potential as a fighter because she's a woman, so... More like an incel rescues Faye?

To the depths of hell they go then.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rescuing isn't a mechanic in this game, though... Well, unless we're talking about the orb, of course, but that's not quite like what we usually think of as rescuing in FE...

Notice how I said rescuing and not "Rescue" or "Utilize Rescue".

inb4 Ruben says "You can't boss me to notice, so I won't!" but notices he noticed anyways because he read it, and fell twice into my trap.
in America!

Quote

This is Spain! I can have all the paellas I want!

Then spain is on thin fucking ice until you learn, holy-bearded bastard.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Don't worry. Not like you owe me anything.

I know, but still... even dumber was how I said "I'm staying around!" and then missed an update. I usually don't read notifications so I just see the pfp but apparently yours won't always show up n the picture of the notification, that's how I almost missed another part.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Eyyy, Ecclesia! It gets my most heartfelt recommendation too. I haven't played much Castlevania, but this one I have replayed a bunch of times. It's just... really fun. And yeah, Barlowe rocks.

Wait, but what's with the keyboard hatred? I've only ever played the game on a keyboard and I'd like to think I'm rather decent at it! I mean, I beat it on Hard Level cap 1. No, it wasn't new game+ either. Fresh new file. I picked the absolute hardest difficulty and kicked Dracula's butt. It was an awesome experience. Now I just need to do the same with Albus.

I'm just not used to playing on a keyboard, specially when it has to do with many buttons. It's even harder because my index fringer usually does everything so I'll set up my fingers in a way but when I have to press something then my index finger immediately moves my other one out of the way as a reflex, I need to be taught how to type better, since my other fingers exist. I guess it's just a matter of getting used to.

FE is obviously less problematic because I have more time to "react" and there's fewer buttons that truly matter.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bs8nwu8m oIt is not just one idea, Lord Vanmilion. I have van million ideas!

Y8ew3fye o......

Bs8nwu8m oHeheh, get it? I said I have van mil--

Y8ew3fye oAnd do you know how many times I have heard that one, Lord Reese? Well, do you?

Meoilxpy o...sorry. Jokes aside, I do have a good idea.

Y8ew3fye oSigh... Go on.

Lol.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o Ah, yes. It begins. Honestly, if I've one complaint about the story, it's that there isn't enough Sienna. We haven't seen her since chapter 1, and that's just... so sad.

Wait really chapter one? That's an awfully long time.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o As per usual, he is incapable of listening and doesn't understand anything, even though this is the story of his own family. Wonderful.

And this guy is in charge of the Berwick League? Well atleast we have a game where the ruler of the "good" side isn't a goody-two-shoes.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Zig1fg6v oI believe that judgment will be for future generations to make, Minister Padolf, not you.

Z3nqg7ql o

Txzubig9 o Ahahahahahah... There's the Sienna I've missed so much.

Epic Sienna roast, not only calling Padolf an old fuck but also hitting him with the facts,

I gotta say though... why does Volcens allow her to talk so much smack? Even against him?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2xdxkwpj o...I will allow it. I myself have grown fatigued as well from Sienna's ceaseless rambling.

Lgjkwhcy oHoo boy, this guy must've been hell on his teachers... He can't handle a five-minute history lesson! And he's the king! The king!

Meanwhile I... well I could listen to history for a good while.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, that ended... catastrophically, but that's about as much as one can hope for when Volcens is involved. At least he didn't run out of the room this time.

Oh? Volcens losing his temper? Damn.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Anyway, for the summary. The timeline of events, if I understand them correctly, goes something like this:

First, the old king dies to a Razite assassin. His son, Arles, is framed for the murder. As a civil war between his defenders and his brother Mordias's followers threatens to begin, Arles falsely confesses and commits suicide in an attempt to mantain peace. However, his sacrifice was in vain, as King Carloman of Leia drags Arles's 12-year-old son, Bernard (Carloman's grandson-in-law), into a rebellion. The rebellion is defeated in the ensuing war, and Mordias strips Bernard of all his titles and exiles him. Bernard makes no attempts to escape, but survives with the help of Roswick and Bernstol. Eventually, the guilt-ridden Mordias pardons him and allows him to return as a commoner. Bernard joins the military, and climbs the ranks until he eventually becomes leader of the western front and singlehandedly saves the war for us. Volcens is an idiot.

Interesting.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Something's really wrong here, that much is for sure. But it no longer matters. Mordias already paid for his crimes. I just hope Volcens doesn't do anything stupid with Bernard...

Volcens is going to, I bet.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stx9k60n oDid you not hear me? Step aside. Now.

HAHAHAHAHA

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Uedfz3v4 o Even the king's own fucking sister has to work around him and stage a prison break so the Berwick League doesn't die because of his incompetent ruling! This is ridiculous.

Oh so Sienna is his sister... still I wouldn't be surprised if he killed her.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Well... There we have it. This is Volcens's worst fuck-up in the entire game. Pretty much everything bad that'll happen from here on out can be traced back to this one decision. Thanks, Volcens. Really.

What a fucking asshat!

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2xdxkwpj oSienna? Now this is a rare sight. It's not often that you willingly seek my company.

Lgjkwhcy oPerhaps you should consider why that is? Maybe it's because you're, hmm... A garbage person!?

I'm surprised you haven't been executed either, being the tactician (I know obviously Volcens isn't real, he can't hurt you but I meant storywise somehow? I dunno)

Also:
I'm sorry Volcens I can't give company! Come back when you're not a mmmmmmmm!!!! piece of garbage!

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Uedfz3v4 o ...Oh, please... First, he'd be entirely justified if he did that. The entire world would cheer him on! And second, what!? If he wanted to do that, he already would've done it! The guy's powerful enough to drive back the Empire, while you're cornered in Narvia fighting a losing war on two fronts! None of this makes any sense... VolceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS!!

It's funny that Bernard would just win like that.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o She's coming closer...

2xdxkwpj oShut the fuck up Volcens

Txzubig9 o Push him!

I was thinking that too! DO IT!

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2xdxkwpj o...But under one condition.

Zig1fg6v oA condition...? ...All right. If it's something I can do...

So2mfvit o

Uedfz3v4 oNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHE WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE YOUR SCENES BEARABLE! THOSE TWO TIMES SHE WAS PRESENT, THAT IS!

GOD DAMN IT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE STORY IN THIS GAME! REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2xdxkwpj oNow that I recall, Grandfather always did plan for you to marry Bernard... Are you really doing all this just to protect an arranged marriage?

Zig1fg6v o......

Tbuay8lo o

Txzubig9 oOh ho ho ho... Ahhhh, scratch what I've been saying. Don't push him off the balcony. That'd be too quick a death. He needs to bleed.

Why don't you have a more sadistic face? It would work well here.

Anyways that's such a shitty incel thing to say! Did this guy read too many hentai doujins? (Yes I know you dislike that word) Because he's sure acting as how one of those portray women to just be whores for me, what a fucking asshole!

Also, so if Bernard isn't dead anymore how will things go to shit again?

 

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o Oh, so instead of Dad Funds, we get Dad Horses! They're two free Sinon Stallions, to be precise, which is... honestly amazing.

19gazxsi o[Irrelevant]

19gazxsi o[Irrelevant]

19gazxsi oLove, Lynette.

I suppose these stallions are some of the best in the game? Cool.

Also who is Lynette?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Tcaiuuxb o

The thund-- The thunder god!? Holy shit, that escalated quickly! "Please get my mirror back", "please get me shields", "please save my father", "THE THUNDER GOD"

We'll summon the thunder god to kill Volcens.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
F4vfjzvm o

Txzubig9 o Ahahahahahahahahahah... Poor guy just got demolished.

Hahahaha! Tianna not only is beautiful but also destroys idiots. Can she replace Sienna now that Sienna is forced to shut up?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o I don't know, I'd pay to watch this game's magic animations! They're gorgeous!

But you choose to emulate it, bad Ruben bad! (I know it's near impossible to get now, if you ever find a physical copy, buy it though)

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

B9hpkntq oOh, please! Please, I beg of you! Retrieve my costume for me, lest my great career in the world of acting be torn to shreds! To smithereens! To... bits!

Uv714man oRelax, Seamus. I'm sure everything will be all right. I remember these people. They're the most honorable knights I've ever met.

B9hpkntq oI do hope you are correct, Vincent... If I lose this job, mayhap I shall be forced to return to banditry! I have had my share of pillagery for a lifetime, thank you very much! To bring joy to people by enacting epic happenings, it is so much more... fulfilling!

Uv714man oWell, don't you worry. If I recall correctly, the same day I was saved by them, these guys went out of their way to retrieve a book for some guy they met at a tavern! Could've been this tavern, in fact! They're kind and selfless men and women. We're in good hands.

Wwxfniqz oWhat!? They're... they're the greatest heroes of our generation! It is truly a miraculous fortune that we may be aided in our plight by wonderful champions such as them! I am... I am the happiest man in the world!!

Uv714man oHahahah... I'll never believe you were once a brigand.

 

P7zedxd8 o...Maybe this is a sign, you know? A sign that I shouldn't pursue this path...

Z2hvx99u oCome now, Teacher. This is as far away from the battlefield as we could possibly go. I think this is perfect!

P7zedxd8 oYes, but... H-Have you seen me at the rehearsals? I'm terrible...

Z2hvx99u oWe've been over this, Teacher. This will be your sixth play, and so far Mr. Karmell has nothing but praise for you.

P7zedxd8 oW-Well, still... I think I could do better.

Z2hvx99u oAnd I think you could relax a bit. This isn't the army anymore. You don't need to do everything perfectly, nobody's lives are on the line here.

P7zedxd8 oAnd yet you're so diligent, practicing day in and day out... Almost as if you were still fighting in the frontlines yourself.

Z2hvx99u oHahah... Oh, but you know that's just the way I am! I can't help it if I'm competitive, right?

P7zedxd8 oHeh, I suppose not... Thank you for sticking with me. I'm glad I could count on you to help me when I left Bornia.

Z2hvx99u oHey, what are friends for? I owed you so much. Besides, I like this job.

P7zedxd8 oHeh... I guess I do, too... Thanks. Really.

Who are these? Just you adding background to the troupe here?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wyuzeypu oSorry, did I perhaps lose you at some point? I tend to go a bit overboard with my explanations... If you ever want me to go over it again, feel free to ask me. I'm nearly always here, after all.

Can relate.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
M9eomf4d o

So we just witnessed a robbery. And none of the NPCs around there did anything to stop it. Wonderful.

That's sad, but it happens a lot irl.

Hey @Golb89 why does one of your comments have a pfp with an X mark over it but not the other one?

EDIT: Wait now the X doesn't show... weird.

Edited by This boi uses Nino
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Spoiler
14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If you were in New Game+ you could've given the crest to your archer of choice. If not, then... oh well, too bad.

I mean, with a bow knight the after battle damage hardly matters as long as they aren't going to take damage in enemy phase... and having a bow knight in enemy range is kind of clumsy. Excepting maybe when Edelgard's playing "nearly full map attacks". Hence Ashe and Shamir (when Ashe died to low percent crit on the second last map because you know rules) used it in my original run. I mean it's not like the post battle damage from relics ever takes you below 1-hp. I should know. I had a cowardly tactic to deal with Miklan, involving deadeye. Even if Ashe missed or did no damage... he'd take ten damage anyway. Sucker. So when he was down to 1 hp Sylvain charges in and one hits him. Then Gilbert suicides on his monster form because blind run.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Is this a subtle shot at the time I compared her to Ike? Because the similarities are there. They're not 100% similar, but there are definitely some details.

Plot twist. Faye is actually Ike's descendant and Priam is a lousy imposter. Or not.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Wait, what? I passionately defend my waifu and that's where I go full elitist? As opposed to all the times I've shat on extremely popular games? As opposed to the times I handwaved all criticism of Berwick Saga?

I prefer to think of myself as an ELeetist.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stares at The Roger LPing in FFtF

Well to be fair I'm best known for two things. Comments on LPs and asinine posts on FFtF. Now I can do both at once.

On 7/1/2020 at 9:06 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

Actually who wouldn't try to score by rescuing her?

I mean, it's a lot harder to score if he doesn't rescue her and she dies.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ooohohoho, that's so evil! I like it. I love it!

I mean I got the idea from Shura and the Boots in Conquest. Difference is, you spare him to recruit him. There's actually an argument for the boots being better, because . But I do actually like Shura. Even if his growths (bar speed and res) are shadow dragon tier. His bases are decent... but he not only has better bases in the other routes... he actually joins EARLIER in Revelation (where he's at his best). That said, he's good as a utility unit. He both can pick locks and use staves. No investment to get up to scratch. I've honestly always taken him over the boots. But lord knows what happens to them if you do take him.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'll let you decide what to do.

Why didn't I bold the "Bull" in bullshit. Damn me and my puns.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know, since she came up, I'd like to point out that this video is all I know about Jean Grey.

I mean.. it's kind of accurate to pre-Phoenix/post-Phoenix. Jean Grey. I always remember her as extremely powerful due to those Phoenix issues. Then I remember that Phoenix was retconned not to be her (it was supposed to be an upgrade so she contributed more initially). So by retconning Phoenix as someone else.. they kind of took her from powerful enough to snuff out a solar system to telekinesis. I mean... they did build her up a bit again in the 90s. Then they killed her off in the early 2000s. Most recently they brought her back again (2018)... apparently claiming Phoenix really was her the whole time so she could be all powerful again. I can't say I've read the story, because quite honestly being the elitist snob I am I gave up a decade ago because they were getting way too fast and loose with what came before. Imagine the problems between FE6 and FE7... except the writers are changing every 6 months or so instead of between two games. So over the decade you get more contradictions than ever. Does that make me an elitist? Probably. But honestly, it is partially because I'm starting to run out of room. First person to guess the number of Marvel comics I DON'T own published between 1961 and 2011 gets a magical non-existent cookie.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Wait, what am I saying? You know full well what I meant, you're just pulling my leg.

I didn't know I could reach Spain from here.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The guy's insane face just sells the clip.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is a strange show. Some episodes make me supremely uncomfortable, and others are just a beautiful web of inanity. Though my favourite moments are always the "Dr. Weird" clips, because not one of them makes even the slightest sense. Shame they only did those for two seasons before getting rid of them.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:


Hahahahahah... We both shame the FE community.

We perform,
Refuse to conform,
Even as we're entertaining.
Community shall give us scorn,
As our efficiency is waning.
(to the tune of below' similar segment)

Spoiler

If I ever do a full rewrite of this... I'm not sure whether to make it into an Screenshot Cinematic Universe joke with you, @Benice and myself... or whether I should just make Marx @Pengaius, change all his lyrics to death puns and leave "Die, Die, Die!" intact.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, yes, aaaaaaaaaand yes.

I'm fine with not seeing it. I just wondered if my idea would work. Which leads me to the realization my brain's working overtime to break games even before I'm able to play them.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Wow, that's... so melodramatic. It's a 10 point warning, relax. You ain't gonna be banned for that. Heck, if that's your only warning so far, I can tell you that I have a higher total score, and yet here I am. I rectified my mistakes, the warnings expired and nothing else came of it. It's really nothing to lose your head about.

Yeah. I literally had a ten point warning for having my signature too long at one stage. It was no big deal at all.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How dare you, I'll kill you!

You know, a bit ago I got my hands on the PS2 version of Samurai Shodown V, which differs from the version I was using in that they bothered to translate the cutscenes instead of just cutting them. This did wonders for my material to use with Ukyo, as he's got more connection to the main plot than in other games. But it also introduced me to "Sankuro". Sankuro's notable for being a criminal who fights with a large wooden mallet and is the "midboss" of the game. You fight him halfway through. He has a special conversation with every character. It's notable 90% of them end in him getting mad for one reason or another "I'll kill you". Which is particularly hilarious when you play Poppy the dog, who is a secret character... as Poppy is literally a husky that makes happy dog noises to set him off.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

2wuos10r oMm? Oh, this? Yes, you could say that... But it's just a scratch. Nothing that will kill me.

Sneaky.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bs8nwu8m oIt is not just one idea, Lord Vanmilion. I have van million ideas!

Reese is slowly turning into me. Just one maniacal cackle and it's lawsuit material.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Y8ew3fye oAnd do you know how many times I have heard that one, Lord Reese? Well, do you?

Van Million times?

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2xdxkwpj oHmph, how amusing... The last I saw you, you were being sent to the penal colony in Mineva. As I recall, you were weeping then, too, on account of your rusty chains.

4trohhnq o......

I'd like a penal colony in Minerva

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy oI mean, given what we've heard about Mordias... He was even worse than you, somehow!

I mean, the blood must have been diluted by having a mother.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fiab0oed o

Lgjkwhcy o As per usual, he is incapable of listening and doesn't understand anything, even though this is the story of his own family. Wonderful.

The Chad Marth: Knows his family's history, leads his continent to peace
The Virgin Volcens: Doesn't know his family history, or the time of day. Leads his continent to continued war.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy oOh, no... There goes Waluigi But Lame.

You just said the same thing twice.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

just hope Volcens doesn't do anything stupid with Bernard...

You're joking right? This is Volcens.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Ah, Herman... Why is it that your name always comes up in one way or another when Volcens is being an integral idiot?

Because Herman's name is two letters off being Vermin. Which is what he is.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wwxfniqz oWhat!? They're... they're the greatest heroes of our generation! It is truly a miraculous fortune that we may be aided in our plight by wonderful champions such as them! I am... I am the happiest man in the world!!

Send help. Choking to death on my own laughter.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Yes, but if you listened to Leon, Lumiere's main thing is apparently that she has BEWBS!

I'm sure someone would argue that's a form of magic in itself. Most likely Leon.

6 hours ago, This boi uses Nino said:


I'm sorry Volcens I can't give company! Come back when you're not a mmmmmmmm!!!! piece of garbage!

Top comment. A winner is you!

6 hours ago, This boi uses Nino said:

Anyways that's such a shitty incel thing to say! Did this guy read too many hentai doujins? (Yes I know you dislike that word) Because he's sure acting as how one of those portray women to just be whores for me, what a fucking asshole!

I'd edit his face on Elliot Rodger, but I'd be unsure which one I'm trying to insult at that point.
 

 

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7 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Top comment. A winner is you!

yay

7 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I'd edit his face on Elliot Rodger, but I'd be unsure which one I'm trying to insult at that point.

Well he was a mass shooter, so both deserve the insult.

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14 hours ago, This boi uses Nino said:

Hey @Golb89 why does one of your comments have a pfp with an X mark over it but not the other one?

EDIT: Wait now the X doesn't show... weird.

That's the profile pic i use when i have left a community... but then i came back so i restored my "standard" one.

(As for why you saw both of them: dunno, most likely a glitch)

 

[Addendums]

(Warning: longer than my previous post)

Spoiler
16 hours ago, Golb89 said:
22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She even has kinda the same color palette as Sylvis.

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Incidentally, I've got to give it to her: her design is actually fine. I like the trenchcoat.

8f3205fa-6ad3-4c67-88ac-de309497b76f.jpg

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I was born in 1999. Draw your own conclusions.

You are younger than me?!?!?! And by a whole decade!!!!!!

tumblr_nnmj1olv9h1tlyjpto1_500.gif

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I wonder what's for dinner.

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pfffft... Ahahahahah, this guy. It was so satisfying to come back for him later on.

Personally, i found much more satisfying taking out the whole brotherhood instead, especially that orc.

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, so I open that and the first thing I see is a woman in a very Japan outfit glaring to the side with the most hateful eyes.

She got an even more japan outfit now:

ArtSchwarzSkinSnow.png

(They are two different characters, but they both got those outfits released this week)

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bs8nwu8m oIt is not just one idea, Lord Vanmilion. I have van million ideas!

Y8ew3fye o......

(You probably realized it yourself already, but there is a missing "I'm leaving" speech bubble in the 4th panel)

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Meoilxpy oThere is a fortress and port town called Turon on the Morra Strait just south of the Bornian border.

CZsSIQP5_o.png

6f3b482b-309b-4f4c-b1c3-3a61aa000aba.jpg

(Incidentally, she just says "sensei" there, not sure why they bothered programming the script to type the player's inserted name instead)

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy oHoo boy, this guy must've been hell on his teachers... He can't handle a five-minute history lesson! And he's the king! The king!

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

19gazxsi oIt was so foolish of me to ask such a selfish request of the Duke...

d6cfde5f-6dcd-4741-a8e6-0375363f6644.jpg

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Onn4e9jf o

035f74db-b02e-45b7-a698-3aaa6bebe6ad.jpg

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tbuay8lo o

322ca7b1-0a55-4139-9877-21e9d91ebf24.jpg

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
R6hvrlg9 o

9qk5ifz8 o She's coming closer...

aef3befc-63fc-4219-bb71-2aff330e6153.jpg

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

lfBWih1I_o.png

Txzubig9 oPush him off the balcony, quick! We can blame the wind!

0a857975-daf4-4df5-a5e8-75ba099d1ae6.jpg

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Txzubig9 oOh ho ho ho... Ahhhh, scratch what I've been saying. Don't push him off the balcony. That'd be too quick a death. He needs to bleed.

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Xhqpmjzv oAfternoon, Lady Tianna! How is it that every time we cross paths, you look even more beautiful than before?

On 7/3/2020 at 12:10 AM, Golb89 said:

5569bdf2-d2b6-4536-9c6f-b15d333398d8.jpg

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Txzubig9 o Ahahahahahahahahahah... Poor guy just got demolished.

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o Nonsense. We love to do trivial requests in the middle of our battles for random people we meet. Well, long as you have a reward in store for us, that is.

Lgjkwhcy o As i said, we are basically this game's 404.

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wyuzeypu oThe only surviving magic in the East, dark magic, was a favorite of the priests of Raze in the Old Empire. Dark magic was used to terrorize and enslave the peoples they subjugated.

9dvf33vy o

c3b2dd45-5a72-458c-b7cb-3005bbaa6216.jpg

4dc7e21d-e147-4cf2-9e2f-1412b1ba6350.jpg

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wyuzeypu oLight magic, on the other hand, so named for its shining radiance, has mainly medical applications. It was used by the clergy of the goddess Veria, another deity in the Lazberian Empire's pantheon. It is the same magic that is used by the modern Church of Veria. It seems the original Verian clergy were separatists who rejected Raze's place as the supreme god.

df0ee01e-561e-4a81-9456-8db6ed83cfaa.jpg

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wyuzeypu oHowever, these early Verians had no means of defending themselves. As I said before, light magic was, and is, only really suited for healing. After the Old Empire's fall, the surviving Verians were endangered by the young Raze Empire.

250ba5cd-45e4-41d8-b1eb-bdc4e175c9f0.jpg

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Czh26xpv o

c852fa24-5c5f-468d-8b79-4691e0af29f7.jpg

c1600c45-77b7-4372-a351-7ef17d901189.jpg

41080c5b-d710-45ef-abbd-18103d543beb.jpg

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wyuzeypu o...And that is what history has to say about the origins of magic. The legends, anyway.

Wyuzeypu o Maybe.

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aofpvug6 oAll right, I'll start with the basics as they were taught to me. Ready to begin?

(And that's why Enid's not gaining any magic. Maybe)

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ga6nsmkk o

76e2935a-b754-457a-9724-33f3466c7493.jpg

(I think i mentioned already how Rope was more akin to Thaddy than Czene, Cliffheart here is basically the opposite)

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 oTruly, he's the hero of the children. Ergh, as long as Czene is dead, of course.

 a24c4d97-e746-49bc-a84a-36d946ea12d1.jpgF@ck you, Ruben!

And since we are on topic, here is something i should have posted back when you were still questioning her name and weapon choice:

ddf87485-8495-44b2-9be9-1cda9f4dbe5d.jpg

 

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The stage is set. Heh, get it? Because we're going to help a band of performers...

 

 

Next time, on "Ruben's Frontline":

ulyw3bfqnop31.gif

(Maybe)

Edited by Golb89
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On 7/4/2020 at 11:23 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Why...?

Just helping some ... "friends" reach out to you. 

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

On 7/4/2020 at 11:23 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

How dare you, I'll kill you! I want to know why you do the things you do!

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/ my dear Ruben

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/ indeed

On 7/4/2020 at 11:23 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Stop! I don't even know who "they" are! I'm not in danger, am I--

It's alright, you dont need to know. What you don't know can't hurt you right?

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

On 7/4/2020 at 11:23 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

hps:/foms.snesforst.ninde/profi17747sinrubei

... and so the cries get louder

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

 

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4 hours ago, Pengaius said:

Just helping some ... "friends" reach out to you. 

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/ my dear Ruben

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/ indeed

It's alright, you dont need to know. What you don't know can't hurt you right?

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

... and so the cries get louder

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

 

Is this a deal with the demon Shokkoth by any chance? Because you should know he always double-dips on the monkey's paw bit. He'll not only rip you off by finding an alternate meaning to what you're bargaining for, but he'll also find the most damaging interpretation of what you're bargaining with.

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3 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Is this a deal with the demon Shokkoth by any chance? Because you should know he always double-dips on the monkey's paw bit. He'll not only rip you off by finding an alternate meaning to what you're bargaining for, but he'll also find the most damaging interpretation of what you're bargaining with.

Only Shokkoth I know is the one from Conan (and I only know that because I just looked it up), so no demonic contracts I'm afraid. 

This is more of a personal project anyway

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Spoiler
On 7/4/2020 at 3:23 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Not really. One update.

Oh.

Quote

Go! Again!

Fine! If that's how it's going to be!

 

 

...Okay, never mind. I want to make more puns.

Quote

He has weakness, so please try not to.

He has weakness and I still can't even injure him?! Gaaaaaah!

Quote

He's also secretly 776 years old.

O snap!

Quote

Oh, pfffffft... That's... Wait, but Dorcas had a wife! Did he cheat on her with Eliwood?! Preposterous!

Nathalie is Eliwood! Duuuuhh!

Quote

Faye's an okay dodgetank, but I know better than to trust dodgetanks. Nothing more unreliable.

What about a 60% chance to proc adept? Hyper player phase unit!

Quote

I definitely want her for the events, if nothing else. And the paralogue's cool. I'll say, though, she has more of a chance to see continued use than Kramer.

Is it bad that I got hers after chapter six?

Quote

BNL? Ergh... Blistering Nonsense Limiting? Binocular Names List? Bin Nostril Lame?

Barenaked Ladies. Their name is questionable, but their music is on point.

(The song I was reffering to is in the spoiler below, by the way)

Spoiler

 

Quote

Hey, not my fault she's the perfect bait!

Did...Did you just call my waifu a trap?! YOU MADMAN! THIS MEANS WAAAAARRR!

 

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Part 41 - Storm the fortress.

Wait a minute, how did this happen:

Spoiler
On 7/5/2020 at 5:17 AM, Dayni said:

I'm doing it, don't worry.

Please do.

  Hide contents

>MFW I'm inconvenienced in my forum posting because of of being warned to do something:

SDRE.thumb.png.2b22bdb82fc74e5eaf59f8ae5

Well, it's not that inconvenient...

(Yeah, I got got too. 5 point warning, but still. :P)

F

Honestly? I've been tempted too.

Though at least I've been able to go after other things. Like watch Artemis... Fowl..... Ugh, that was legit fowl.

I have no idea what that is.

Or that Eurovison rom com...... As someone why actually watches it, it didn't lean enough into it, but could have been worse.

Eurovision? It's been ages since I last watched that one. Spain always loses. Our contestants get more and more pathetic each year, it's hilarious.

Or Scoob...... Oh man the comedy sucked and the VA changes were too distracting. Jeez my movie watching's been bad lately

Seems like it.

On the other hand I've been reading a fair bit as well, easily ~1,500 pages between two books over a few days. And I actually liked both!

I'm happy for you.

Also been playing a few things, like a teensy bit more Daemon Ex Machina (It's still so badly presented. No massive slowdown yet) and finally actually played Owlboy. Not to completion yet, but I've gotten a fair bit in.

I see. That game looks like fun. Me, I bought Metal Gear Rising, Civilization 6 and Kingdom Come Deliverance in the steam sale. Been a fruitful sale, that's for sure.

I haven't played a single other Metal Gear, so all the references to the lore are lost on me, but hey. Nanomachines son. Also, killing people by brutally eviscerating them should not be so much fun, like I swear, it's amazing.

Berwick's not half as pretty.

...Was that... really necessary?

I was not using NG+ on my first AM playthrough. Chances are I would have just given it to Leonie and tried to make her broken. Because Leonie.

Leonie deserves the world, she's too good.

Well, considering you didn't want to connect to Switch's online, I don't see if this is an issue for you.

But isn't it hell to get legit games afterwards because modding compromises your nintendo account or something like that? I don't know, I just feel it's too overly complicated when it really shouldn't be.

Arthur.

You talked a lot of crap about him.

I mean, he does miss a lot of strikes.

......

The worst cases are where the game slows down before that.

I guess, but I don't know, it felt like every time I used a combat art the game started to die on me.

Besides, you know me, I've gotten into throwing any minor thing as a giant blot on Berwick's name as a response to your seeming worship of every motion it makes.

Why do you have to do that? Why can't I be allowed to be happy!? It's as if I do the same thing with Three Houses because it angers me due to all the wasted potential and the fact that, fuck me I wanted to love it like the rest!

What's better than one Ward?

Right, you got a point.

I mean, I don't think she's a bad unit, certainly not in this playthrough.

It's just, when she got demolished it was an easy response.

Friendly reminder Rutger got demolished in my FE6 LP. Is he garbage too, then? Yes. Thank you for agreeing with me on something.

Jeez, I was a jerk in the last post. 

Yes. You were. And in this one, too. Stop dissing my favorite game just for the heck of it. Do I diss your favorite game?

...Well, I'm not sure which one it is, but given how many titles in this series I dislike or outright hate, there's a good chance I have, so... Uh, sorry?

Not a shot, just a realisation I had at the time.

Ike wasn't even on my mind.

All right, fair enough.

It's not low for Berwick, yeah.

Growths in this game are... problematic.

2wuos10r o'tis but a scratch.

It's not Marcel, but it is BK quote worthy.

Ahh, I finally found the Black Knight! That's... a hilarious fight scene, to say the least.

Twelve?

The only reason I'm not shocked is because I was reading Fire and Blood and there's a remarkable amount of commanders around that age.

Some of which were also in Bernard's situation. And if you ask which one, I will respond with Yes.

See, it makes total sense then.

That still the 'land duchies in Imperial hands.

But it is progress.

That's Volcens's fault. Bernard did his job. Warrenheit would've, too, if Volcyboy had bothered to send help.

Reese right now.

Reese the entire game, more like.

Volcens got a point.

I'm not happy to say it, but he did.

This cannot end well.

It is a sad day when Volcens actually does something right, but it doesn't even do anyone any good.

2xdxkwpj oSDRE.thumb.png.2b22bdb82fc74e5eaf59f8ae5

That's him the entire time too, isn't it?

Yeah, this sounds like something that would happen. Hell, you could argue Kaga's taking Tearring's plot around Arless and changing it.

I would argue with you there, but... For crying out loud, he literally reused the name.

Also, Urbanus has been around a while. Are we sure he's okay? Not just a literal puppet pope?

Ahah... Eehh... We'll, we'll find out.

Look at Siena go.

Zig1fg6v o@Sienaaaaaaaaa: Today I am serving these dumb fools justice a la clam and green bean sauce.

Even Herman had nothing, good job.

Sienna is just the greatest.

On the one hand, Walublondie here does have a point.

This sort of thing could be used on Berwick as a "you accept traitors so easily, how could you be a nation?", especially if the right lies get told enough.

The problem is it's Bernard. You know, guy who's led the fightback so effectively it's working?

I mean, the traitor point kinda falls flat when you realize that the dude accepted and served his sentence, was twelve when he was supposed to be a rebel leader, and is currently saving everyone's asses.

Knowing Mordias it was terrible.

Yes. Yes it was.

THE FLAG IS RED ALERT ALERT

Gotta hand it to him: Volcens didn't waste any time. It barely took a minute after the red flags for Bernard to go down.

Well, at least they can all try to lift him with their spears to maintain social distancing.

Hah!

Also of course this is happening.

Volcens. A great man.

YOU ARE LITERALLY THE HEAD OF THE RESISTANCE TO RAZE. IT'S NOT GOT MUCH LEFT TO ALL AND YOUR EFFORTS ARE HOLDING BACK THAT FALL. COME ON.

4trohhnq oI will die honourably to save Berwick.

Zig1fg6v oi WiLl DiE oNuRaBLEE To SaVe BERWicK- That's you, that's what you sound like.

To be honest, Bernard being kind of a Camus doesn't help.

That's what paranoia does to you, anyone who's doing well in your name is a threat.

And then there's the issue of the source he gets his counsel from...

Volcens is just an awful people person.

Berwicksaga.txt

WELL FUCK BERWICK'S FUCKED

Also berwicksaga.txt

I bet she'd like to be climbing that stallion, nudge nudge wink wink know what I mean?

...I died. This killed me. How dare you kill me, I'll kill you.

Also, she wants to ride her brother's tribute stallion with force.

TiS.png.505494d7e8c41c5f15f5db76f0841578.pngWhy, I'd have to wonder if it's the only time you clean up Mr Alex?

Emkzrccq oOOOOOH SNAP

Xhqpmjzv o........

Emkzrccq oShe got you there, admit it.

I love how you actually went out of your way to edit sunglasses on her.

How does he even know they're headed to Turon?

You mean Alex? I mean, by this point he's watched at least 10 sidequests and requests begin in his bar. He probably knows by now that the Sinon Knights always just so happen to have a mission at the place where everyone absolutely has to go at the same time.

That is a bizarre group to form and we know there wouldn't be enough time for them to meet and practice for this.

Maybe they're in training?

I mean, at the latest, the two dudes from chapter 5 have had two months to join the troupe. Seamus and the horse guy had even more time. I think it works, myself. Though maybe I did go too far with 6 plays.

Leia not having Thunder ruined the joke. Excuse me.

Ahahahahahahah... 10/10

OKAY, THE SISTER'S A FIRE MAGE THEN.

So where's not Lilina then? I'm lost here.

You're lost, yes. And you will continue to be for a while.

|At least that's something.

It's more than Volcens can say.

 

 

On 7/5/2020 at 6:47 AM, Golb89 said:

Oh...

Yeah.

tumblr_nnzvo6YaT61sk47ceo3_500.gif

... well, in that case:

  Hide contents

I'd rather like to ask, what is that mask?

(Ironically, Saria is most likely the closest thing to a TF2 medic in AK. Maybe)

I mean, anyone that even remotely resembles Medic is liable to be committed.

Which is why the fact that I get the widest grin every time I go on a killing spree as Medic is rather worrisome.

(Also, her gun is actually for healing only: she attacks with her shield instead)

Shield bash!

Immagine10.jpg

Fronzo? Oh, it's probably a name... Wait, animal ears?!

Why does Sienna have a horn here?

Uh...

 
 

... sort of.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THIS DAMN FORMAT! I cannot write between the things! Okay, here we go!

1- Ah, the old "can't use healing tools on oneself" curse of videogame healers.

2- I just like that Martel's dying in the background.

3- Fellow dads laughing at dad jokes. So wholesome.

4- Ahahahah... That's probably The Roger's daily life.

(Incidentally, that's entirely fanfiction)

I mean, I'd be worried if it wasn't.

Though if we are talking Sylvis:

I thought we were, I mean, that one has the exact same color palette-

Hey, now... That's not... That's not how it... is... is it?

Because they are 4 different characters...?

Oh.

Well, shit I'm sorry. They all looked alike!

That's how you calm your TF2 Medic, too. If you're a Heavy with the sandvich, that is. If you're a Scout, the way to go is to FUCKING STOP TAKING MY MEDKITS WHEN I'M ON FIRE I CAN HEAL YOU MYSELF YOU BASTARD BUT NOT IF I'M DEAD STOP RUNNING FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

Lgjkwhcy o We are basically this game's 404.

Ergh, more or less, yes.

(Was saving it for Reese & co., but eh)

I mean, seeing how well Bernard took it, it probably came as no surprise.

(This would have also been more suited for something else, but eh again)

Damn... you... Why must you torture me so!? Horsemen, horsemen everywhere! I must... kill them all...!

e9e1e7f6930b9f67b7953a0e1375bb554485e824

No really, is it a running gag that she gets electrocuted constantly or is it a one-time thing?

'Cause I know of a character who spends his show's whole 96 episodes getting the shit zapped out of him.

Yes, very anime.

But... no, that's not how it is! Nobody cares about the boobs, she's literally resuscitating a lost science!

Ahhh, I see, that's why the mask...

Jesus...

Also I cannot write under the next one, so all I have to say is: why is she talking to herself? Is she just plain mad?

 

 

On 7/5/2020 at 8:41 AM, This boi uses Nino said:
  Hide contents

I forgot... where was this from?

Nowhere...? It's literally every factory in the world that issues these warnings.

I meant that the other thing (which I have forgotten what it is) would be pronounced the same as Hanes (if a spanish speaker read the thing I forgot) and Hanes happens to be my last name. Yes I know everyone in my school can't fathom how to say it. Actually I think they're just bullying me because of it.

At least your name isn't so easy to pun as, say, Lee.

I see...

Incidentally, play TearRing Saga. Get an emu with speed-up, though. The game is slow.

Yeah, it sounds professional and the way german abuses it's f's, "en"'s and "sch" are so cool. Even more so with how they pronounce w's as v's, I think that sounds cool too.

It just sounds cool in general.

No but I meant in this thread. Every self respecting LP-er must come to Ruben's LPs. Atleast I feel like we should.

You're talking as if I were in any way special.

I hope you're right... it sucks... I hope Minas will end up fine, though that is not likely.

You'll see. Maybe.

Fair enough. Keep quoting, holy-bearded bastard. On another note... hmm this Paella is nice.

Of course it is, paellas are great.

>Respect
>Plays Gachas
Pick one.

inb4 Ruben says "Reeee don't boss me, I'll pick both Mwahahaha!" and just falls into my trap anyways

Your trap in America?

And, well, live and let live, I think. Ain't my place to chastise people for throwing their money away for PNGs of anime girls.

To the depths of hell they go then.

Not really. He just leaves Faye at the guild and disappears. Off to hide under the desk again. That's another thing, Faramir doesn't appear at the merc guild until you hire Faye and she leaves, he's so shy.

Notice how I said rescuing and not "Rescue" or "Utilize Rescue".

inb4 Ruben says "You can't boss me to notice, so I won't!" but notices he noticed anyways because he read it, and fell twice into my trap.
in America!

Ah, yes, of course it was in America. I mean, where else could it've been? Papua New Guinea?

Then spain is on thin fucking ice until you learn, holy-bearded bastard.

You cannot nuke me! You aren't Gandhi, last I checked!

I know, but still... even dumber was how I said "I'm staying around!" and then missed an update. I usually don't read notifications so I just see the pfp but apparently yours won't always show up n the picture of the notification, that's how I almost missed another part.

Wait, how does my pfp not show up in the notification?

...Well, I suppose if someone else replies quickly enough, their pfp would replace mine...

I'm just not used to playing on a keyboard, specially when it has to do with many buttons. It's even harder because my index fringer usually does everything so I'll set up my fingers in a way but when I have to press something then my index finger immediately moves my other one out of the way as a reflex, I need to be taught how to type better, since my other fingers exist. I guess it's just a matter of getting used to.

I understand. I've been playing my entire life on keyboard, so I'm good at it.

FE is obviously less problematic because I have more time to "react" and there's fewer buttons that truly matter.

Of course.

Lol.

Of course!

Wait really chapter one? That's an awfully long time.

Yes. It's terrible.

And this guy is in charge of the Berwick League? Well atleast we have a game where the ruler of the "good" side isn't a goody-two-shoes.

Oh yeah, you missed most of the reasons why, but Volcens is horrendous. Thankfully, it only takes seeing any one of his scenes to know that he's the worst.

Epic Sienna roast, not only calling Padolf an old fuck but also hitting him with the facts,

I gotta say though... why does Volcens allow her to talk so much smack? Even against him?

Because if he tried to stop her, he'd get smacked even harder.

Meanwhile I... well I could listen to history for a good while.

Tell that to Volcens.

Oh? Volcens losing his temper? Damn.

That was literally his first scene, I think. He got roasted by Sienna, screamed "Do what you want! I'm leaving!" and just fled the room with Padolf in tow. Even though he was the one that called for the audience in the first place.

As for Herman... unfortunately, Herman's more competent than both of them, and that isn't a good thing.

Interesting.

Isn't it?

Volcens is going to, I bet.

Didn't waste five minutes, either...

HAHAHAHAHA

What? That's just my portrait for unknown people who have no other faces! It's not "HAHAHAHAHA" worthy!

...okay, it is, that's why I use it.

Oh so Sienna is his sister... still I wouldn't be surprised if he killed her.

Well... we'll see.

What a fucking asshat!

Took you long enough to arrive at the conclusion that... everyone reaches sooner or later.

I'm surprised you haven't been executed either, being the tactician (I know obviously Volcens isn't real, he can't hurt you but I meant storywise somehow? I dunno)

Well, I'm not canon, and even if I was, I don't think Volcens is smart enough to realize that the Sinon Knights are more than "that stupid Reese" and an entity of faceless soldiers.

Also:
I'm sorry Volcens I can't give company! Come back when you're not a mmmmmmmm!!!! piece of garbage!

Hahahahah! Good one, good one.

It's funny that Bernard would just win like that.

I mean, it's just the facts.

I was thinking that too! DO IT!

Believe me, it was my first reaction when I first played this game.

GOD DAMN IT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE STORY IN THIS GAME! REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

To summarize: Volcens is an idiot. There. Now you know.

Why don't you have a more sadistic face? It would work well here.

I didn't think I needed it.

Anyways that's such a shitty incel thing to say! Did this guy read too many hentai doujins? (Yes I know you dislike that word) Because he's sure acting as how one of those portray women to just be whores for me, what a fucking asshole!

It's Volcens. Name one bad trait, he has it.

Also, so if Bernard isn't dead anymore how will things go to shit again?

He'll still be imprisoned, and he can't lead from prison. It's better than him dying, but it's still pretty bad.

I suppose these stallions are some of the best in the game? Cool.

They have a crapton of health and give +2 bonus speed.

Also who is Lynette?

Reese's stepsister. If you've seen any anime at all, it should come as no surprise that I prefer to call her Reese's "sister-in-heat".

What I mean is, she wants to fuck Reese. They only knew each other for like a year before the game started, yet the game insists on refering to them as siblings. Because anime.

We'll summon the thunder god to kill Volcens.

I like how no matter what, everyone's eventual reaction is to hate on Volcens. I am proud of you all.

Hahahaha! Tianna not only is beautiful but also destroys idiots. Can she replace Sienna now that Sienna is forced to shut up?

I don't think she can, sadly. There's not a drop of royal blood in her. But that'd certainly be something.

But you choose to emulate it, bad Ruben bad! (I know it's near impossible to get now, if you ever find a physical copy, buy it though)

You think I wouldn't? Having an OG copy of Berwick would be wonderful! But where the heck would I find it?

Who are these? Just you adding background to the troupe here?

They're characters I made up throughout the LP, based on green units that did things. A reader dubbed these "Minion Misadventures". I just thought it'd be funny if they turned out to have joined Karmell's troupe after leaving the battlefield.

As for the guy with the eyepatch, he's a brigand boss from way back. He's the greatest brigand I have ever seen, I just had to bring him back.

Can relate.

Hah, neeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddd

Sorry.

That's sad, but it happens a lot irl.

Yes, because child abuse isn't an issue when other children do it, amirite? Boys will be boys, and all that! Until the boy commits suicide at the ripe age of 10 or brings a weapon to school. That's what it takes for assholes to take bullying seriously, sadly.

Hey @Golb89 why does one of your comments have a pfp with an X mark over it but not the other one?

EDIT: Wait now the X doesn't show... weird.

 

On 7/5/2020 at 3:03 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

 

  Hide contents

I mean, with a bow knight the after battle damage hardly matters as long as they aren't going to take damage in enemy phase... and having a bow knight in enemy range is kind of clumsy. Excepting maybe when Edelgard's playing "nearly full map attacks". Hence Ashe and Shamir (when Ashe died to low percent crit on the second last map because you know rules) used it in my original run. I mean it's not like the post battle damage from relics ever takes you below 1-hp. I should know. I had a cowardly tactic to deal with Miklan, involving deadeye. Even if Ashe missed or did no damage... he'd take ten damage anyway. Sucker. So when he was down to 1 hp Sylvain charges in and one hits him. Then Gilbert suicides on his monster form because blind run.

That's a hilarious strat.

Plot twist. Faye is actually Ike's descendant and Priam is a lousy imposter. Or not.

Hah! Interesting idea.

I prefer to think of myself as an ELeetist.

Perfect. 10/10. Very you.

Well to be fair I'm best known for two things. Comments on LPs and asinine posts on FFtF. Now I can do both at once.

Ain't that amazing.

I mean, it's a lot harder to score if he doesn't rescue her and she dies.

That much is true.

I mean I got the idea from Shura and the Boots in Conquest. Difference is, you spare him to recruit him. There's actually an argument for the boots being better, because . But I do actually like Shura. Even if his growths (bar speed and res) are shadow dragon tier. His bases are decent... but he not only has better bases in the other routes... he actually joins EARLIER in Revelation (where he's at his best). That said, he's good as a utility unit. He both can pick locks and use staves. No investment to get up to scratch. I've honestly always taken him over the boots. But lord knows what happens to them if you do take him.

They are offended that you picked a bad unit over them, and they fill themselves with sand so nobody can use them. I mean, who the hell would want to wear sandy boots?

Why didn't I bold the "Bull" in bullshit. Damn me and my puns.

Goddamn-- I just got it! I'm so dumb!

I mean.. it's kind of accurate to pre-Phoenix/post-Phoenix. Jean Grey. I always remember her as extremely powerful due to those Phoenix issues. Then I remember that Phoenix was retconned not to be her (it was supposed to be an upgrade so she contributed more initially). So by retconning Phoenix as someone else.. they kind of took her from powerful enough to snuff out a solar system to telekinesis. I mean... they did build her up a bit again in the 90s. Then they killed her off in the early 2000s. Most recently they brought her back again (2018)... apparently claiming Phoenix really was her the whole time so she could be all powerful again. I can't say I've read the story, because quite honestly being the elitist snob I am I gave up a decade ago because they were getting way too fast and loose with what came before.

Holy shit, that's so contrived. The poor girl.

Imagine the problems between FE6 and FE7... except the writers are changing every 6 months or so instead of between two games. So over the decade you get more contradictions than ever. Does that make me an elitist? Probably. But honestly, it is partially because I'm starting to run out of room. First person to guess the number of Marvel comics I DON'T own published between 1961 and 2011 gets a magical non-existent cookie.

Seven.

I didn't know I could reach Spain from here.

Well, uh... I mean...

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is a strange show. Some episodes make me supremely uncomfortable, and others are just a beautiful web of inanity. Though my favourite moments are always the "Dr. Weird" clips, because not one of them makes even the slightest sense. Shame they only did those for two seasons before getting rid of them.

Always the best ones that go early...

We perform,
Refuse to conform,
Even as we're entertaining.
Community shall give us scorn,
As our efficiency is waning.
(to the tune of below' similar segment)

  Hide contents

This one's so great.

If I ever do a full rewrite of this... I'm not sure whether to make it into an Screenshot Cinematic Universe joke with you, @Benice and myself... or whether I should just make Marx @Pengaius, change all his lyrics to death puns and leave "Die, Die, Die!" intact.

Buttermaaaaaaaaaaannnn...!

I'm fine with not seeing it. I just wondered if my idea would work. Which leads me to the realization my brain's working overtime to break games even before I'm able to play them.

Pfff... You, sir, are a genius. An evil one.

Yeah. I literally had a ten point warning for having my signature too long at one stage. It was no big deal at all.

Eyyy, me too! It was just 5 points, though. I did get a 10 point warning for an... uh, unfortunate choice of words one time I was describing FE7 Bartre. I did quickly edit that post.

You know, a bit ago I got my hands on the PS2 version of Samurai Shodown V, which differs from the version I was using in that they bothered to translate the cutscenes instead of just cutting them. This did wonders for my material to use with Ukyo, as he's got more connection to the main plot than in other games. But it also introduced me to "Sankuro". Sankuro's notable for being a criminal who fights with a large wooden mallet and is the "midboss" of the game. You fight him halfway through. He has a special conversation with every character. It's notable 90% of them end in him getting mad for one reason or another "I'll kill you". Which is particularly hilarious when you play Poppy the dog, who is a secret character... as Poppy is literally a husky that makes happy dog noises to set him off.

That sounds hilarious.

Sneaky.

Very.

Reese is slowly turning into me. Just one maniacal cackle and it's lawsuit material.

Oh, dear... Wait, that's the kind of face you make? Should I be worried...?

Van Million times?

...tell me, how long were you fighting over making the obvious joke or not making it because it was, well, so obvious?

I'd like a penal colony in Minerva

Ahahahahahahahah! A lot of people would, I think.

I mean, the blood must have been diluted by having a mother.

I have to wonder who the mother was. Volcens mostly looks like Mordias, but Sienna looks nothing like either of 'em!

The Chad Marth: Knows his family's history, leads his continent to peace
The Virgin Volcens: Doesn't know his family history, or the time of day. Leads his continent to continued war.

This made me lose my shit. Congratulations.

Sijjsrcj o

I am so sorry I made this. Truly, I am.

You just said the same thing twice.

Boom.

You're joking right? This is Volcens.

...Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.

Because Herman's name is two letters off being Vermin. Which is what he is.

Sadly, unlike his fellow members of the Wonderful Three, he's actually intelligent as well as a piece of shit.

Send help. Choking to death on my own laughter.

I'm so glad to have caused your death in such a manner.

...That's so easy to take out of context. Please, don't...! Don't! I see you coming from a mile away! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

I'm sure someone would argue that's a form of magic in itself. Most likely Leon.

Yes. Leon would, probably.

...Man, I really hope I get to show off his character arc. It's so... weird.

Top comment. A winner is you!

I agree.

I'd edit his face on Elliot Rodger, but I'd be unsure which one I'm trying to insult at that point.

Hoo, boy, that's some thorny territory...
 

 

 

On 7/5/2020 at 10:39 PM, This boi uses Nino said:

yay

Hurray, yes.

Well he was a mass shooter, so both deserve the insult.

I mean, the comparison is fair. Volcens is responsible for a ton of deaths at this point.

 

On 7/5/2020 at 10:42 PM, Golb89 said:

That's the profile pic i use when i have left a community... but then i came back so i restored my "standard" one.

You have a dedicated pfp for leaving communities? That's... kinda worrying.

(As for why you saw both of them: dunno, most likely a glitch)

Oh, dear.

[Addendums]

(Warning: longer than my previous post)

  Hide contents

8f3205fa-6ad3-4c67-88ac-de309497b76f.jpg

Ahah... hah, ah... Okay, she's the coolest character you've shared yet.

You are younger than me?!?!?! And by a whole decade!!!!!!

tumblr_nnmj1olv9h1tlyjpto1_500.gif

Indeed. I mean, easy to be mistaken about it when I use words like "indeed". And heck, I'm already going senile. I spent the entire last year convinced I was 21 years old. It was a cousin that noticed the math didn't add up. Though I suppose it was good practice. Now that I'm really 21, I won't be mistaken! Until last year.

A DARK reunion?

Personally, i found much more satisfying taking out the whole brotherhood instead, especially that orc.

To be honest, the entire quest was the best the game had to offer.

She got an even more japan outfit now:

ArtSchwarzSkinSnow.png

Hoo, boy...

(They are two different characters, but they both got those outfits released this week)

Ahhh... Wait, partial necrosis? What...?

(You probably realized it yourself already, but there is a missing "I'm leaving" speech bubble in the 4th panel)

Goodness gracious...

6f3b482b-309b-4f4c-b1c3-3a61aa000aba.jpg

(Incidentally, she just says "sensei" there, not sure why they bothered programming the script to type the player's inserted name instead)

Because player pandering.

Is this a whole new spin on "a dog ate my homework"?

d6cfde5f-6dcd-4741-a8e6-0375363f6644.jpg

Omigosh it's Sylvain! Look, hair's the same! Or maybe it's just a generic anime design.

035f74db-b02e-45b7-a698-3aaa6bebe6ad.jpg

 

322ca7b1-0a55-4139-9877-21e9d91ebf24.jpg

Gah! Distance! Don't you know what time we live in...?

aef3befc-63fc-4219-bb71-2aff330e6153.jpg

Really? I couldn't tell.

0a857975-daf4-4df5-a5e8-75ba099d1ae6.jpg

I had to do a double-take because at first I read it as "the wind sings an edgy..."

 

Lgjkwhcy o As i said, we are basically this game's 404.

Okay though, Helian's design is awesome.

c3b2dd45-5a72-458c-b7cb-3005bbaa6216.jpg

 

4dc7e21d-e147-4cf2-9e2f-1412b1ba6350.jpg

In other words, they ded.

df0ee01e-561e-4a81-9456-8db6ed83cfaa.jpg

250ba5cd-45e4-41d8-b1eb-bdc4e175c9f0.jpg

An edgelord, I see. Wait, why is the voice actress called "laughter" in spanish?

c852fa24-5c5f-468d-8b79-4691e0af29f7.jpg

Yes! Yes!

c1600c45-77b7-4372-a351-7ef17d901189.jpg

41080c5b-d710-45ef-abbd-18103d543beb.jpg

Ergh... Perhaps, yes.

Wyuzeypu oMaybe.

Don't diss Almuth like that. He knows his shit. He ain't no maybeman.

(And that's why Enid's not gaining any magic. Maybe)

Oh, please...

76e2935a-b754-457a-9724-33f3466c7493.jpg

(I think i mentioned already how Rope was more akin to Thaddy than Czene, Cliffheart here is basically the opposite)

With that kind of cable, I think she'd be more suited to just garrote people.

 a24c4d97-e746-49bc-a84a-36d946ea12d1.jpgF@ck you, Ruben!

Hey! That's uncalled for! How dare you, I'll kill you!

And since we are on topic, here is something i should have posted back when you were still questioning her name and weapon choice:

ddf87485-8495-44b2-9be9-1cda9f4dbe5d.jpg

I mean, still kinda weird she'd name herself after a friggin' rope of all things. Or maybe she named herself after The Legend of Zelda's snakes?

Hah!

 

Next time, on "Ruben's Frontline":

ulyw3bfqnop31.gif

(Maybe)

I just don't want to lose people. Is that so much too ask for?

 

17 hours ago, Pengaius said:

Just helping some ... "friends" reach out to you. 

I fight off enough demons on a daily basis as it is, Buttermna! Leave me alone!

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/ my dear Ruben

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/ indeed

Stop!

It's alright, you dont need to know. What you don't know can't hurt you right?

That's not how anything works. I mean, if I go play TRS right now and kill off Arkis, it'll hurt you even if you don't know it. Your Arkis-sense will send shockwaves of pain down your spine.

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

... and so the cries get louder

htps:/forms.srnesforst.ne/inde.php?/profil/17747-sin-rubenio/

Well, guess I'll leave you to it, then. Good luck with... Whatever you're hoping to accomplish.

 

12 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Is this a deal with the demon Shokkoth by any chance? Because you should know he always double-dips on the monkey's paw bit. He'll not only rip you off by finding an alternate meaning to what you're bargaining for, but he'll also find the most damaging interpretation of what you're bargaining with.

This is not reassuring. You're the guy who always knows everything about the most unlikely topics.

 

9 hours ago, Pengaius said:

Only Shokkoth I know is the one from Conan (and I only know that because I just looked it up), so no demonic contracts I'm afraid. 

All right, good, good...

This is more of a personal project anyway

Eh!? They all say "sin rubenio"... Are you trying to make me look sinful, or what? It won't work, I am the purest soul alive!!

 

3 hours ago, Benice said:
  Hide contents

Oh.

Yeah.

Fine! If that's how it's going to be!

No, that's not... That's not what you were supposed to... Ah, forget it.

...Okay, never mind. I want to make more puns.

Go right ahead, then.

He has weakness and I still can't even injure him?! Gaaaaaah!

To be fair, I'm pretty sure weakness only affects cripplings, not injuries. That's why Ward was able to cripple Lyarc by just whacking him. Of course, injury + weakness basically means a guaranteed cripple on the next blow, so it's worth a shot.

O snap!

What a riveting turn of events!

Nathalie is Eliwood! Duuuuhh!

Uh... o-okay...

To be fair, they're never seen in the same room, are they? It works!

What about a 60% chance to proc adept? Hyper player phase unit!

Okay, that much is true.

Is it bad that I got hers after chapter six?

Whoa, that's really early. It's not bad by any means, but... Wow, impressive.

Barenaked Ladies. Their name is questionable, but their music is on point.

A... ah.

(The song I was reffering to is in the spoiler below, by the way)

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Oh, I see. It's literally just Enid.

Did...Did you just call my waifu a trap?!

No, I--

YOU MADMAN! THIS MEANS WAAAAARRR!

Jesus, relax! Nobody's calling Faye anything but cannon fodder!

 

 

We're smarter than this:

Spoiler
Hmshqbr1 o

Surprise prep!

Rm866vos o

Today's map theme is best map theme.

Efuvyqtx o

I think this is the first time I'm not deploying Axel in a main mission. All the searchable houses are in the same place, none of them require winning the fight to get the stuff, and Thaddy is required for one of them. Also, no water, so might as well let the man rest.

F99m4ka1 o

Oh dear, fog! This is another one of Berwick's beloved escape maps. Same deal as ever, we have 24 turns and then everyone still on the map is captured. Escape point is on the other side of the map this time, through the town, which is crawling with Bornian troops. The first stop, however, should be the fort, which is also crawling with troops, and no less than two bosses. We have to get through three gates (main reason I brought Sherpa, the Brymranger leaves them with like 20 HP), and afterwards escort Vester to the escape point. If he dies, it's game over. Ideally, we want to clear the fort first, and then secure the city before Vester gets there.

For today's tactics points, we need to protect Vester's fellow prisoners. If all four make it, we get 3 points. If one of them dies, we get 2 points. Beyond that, we get a free point for clearing the map.

Tfogtjby o

I just want to point out the generic garbage bagman of the day. Err... I think you're lost, pal. The bridge mission is two chapters from now.

Yousdsug o

Let us begin.

3cxl4xfi oYes, milord. Let us remind the troops that we have only until sunrise to finish this mission. (24 turns) Even in the darkness, we should take care to avoid alerting the Bornian soldiers for as long as possible.

Lgjkwhcy o Not sure why they're bringing this up. This isn't a weird stealth mission. The enemy is right there, we can't avoid them.

Meoilxpy oAgreed, though we'll have to fight them eventually. Our information tells us Lord Vester is being held captive inside the fort.

3cxl4xfi oWith no small amount of soldiers keeping him there, no doubt. We cannot afford any mistakes here.

Lgjkwhcy oAnd when can we afford mistakes, exactly? Mistakes kill people, Ward!

Meoilxpy oOf course. Give the signal, Ward.

C5u1ty7l o

The enemy commander is Nielsen. He's one of the dudes I frankensteined to create my personal portrait. Though after I was done editing the stache, it barely looked like the original.

Klqkwg4r oIf one of them makes a break for it, put his head on a pike. The Empire will not allow them to live much longer, anyway.

Qtxtohmw o

9qk5ifz8 o There's Vester. Doesn't really look all that lordly, but the name label says it's him, so I suppose we'll have to trust the game on that one.

Klqkwg4r oMe, a traitor? I am now, and have always been, a loyal servant of Duke Reed. Tell me, who was it who defied him and tried to flee to enemy lines? Curs like you must be dealt with as the law of Bornia prescribes.

8avaxokx oFather is not in his right mind! He's being corrupted by Almachus! That man is an Imperial spy! Surely you must see it?!

Klqkwg4r oLord Vester, this childishness does not befit a man of your station. You bring scandal upon your father and upon the whole Duchy of Bornia.

Lgjkwhcy oBut it's so obvious! Even Lyarc could sense the foul play!

Klqkwg4r oThe only reason you still live is that the people pleaded with His Grace-- or rather, with Governor General Almachus--to let you live. You should be thankful to him for his mercy with regards to your fate.

Nqqbq4zt o

8avaxokx oSo that's the script he's written for me, is it? You shameless dogs! You've betrayed Bornia... No, the entire Berwick League!

Klqkwg4r oThe days of the Berwick League are numbered. The Goddess has abandoned us.

Lgjkwhcy o I'd object, but... I mean, Volcens hasn't been struck down by lightning yet, so clearly she doesn't care much for her subjects suffering under him...

Klqkwg4r oThere is only one who can save us from the coming judgment now, and it is Father Raze.

Hpa3xox0 o

Lgjkwhcy oDude, Gilgamesh is right there! Don't say things like that in front of the priests! That magic they practice is scary! Should I have Almuth come around to tell you about all the effects?

8avaxokx oYou'll regret this, Nielsen... You don't know the horrors those heathens are capable of...

9qk5ifz8 o Eh, not all of them. Owen is a perfectly good person. Y'know, when he's not losing his shit and murdering people against his own will.

Zhauaqqv o

Hey, it's Paliztsch... Palitzsch? Palistzsch? Ergh, the guy who sells materials! That's where we want to go to retrieve the costume for Karmell. The northern house with a question mark is where Bluck's pal lives, and the southern one is Maris's old home.

4wlhhews o

Nothing more to say. It is time to roll and rock. Or, well, the other way around.

3l7ufmqj o

Thaddy will head south first.

Os2eomc7 oYxr0rry7 o

Now, let's advance carefully and see if we can find the enemy...

Ommzecc3 o

Whoa! Okay, found 'em!

Vbbyymdi oOmu1sgdw o

Well, whatever. Ward is too powerful to be felled by these fools.

Nekudp4a oZgdtwqbm o

First kill already!

Tstenlw5 o

Why do I open my friggin' mouth... When will I learn?

D6jcq67f oTjqw4hms o

Oh, for fuck's sake... Seriously?!

Ww2wfkq1 oPtdrwj07 oLxu2z4bi o

The Warding continues.

Zeojtvpx oFrvytgli o

Holy-- Holy shit, he got doubled! The longspear, man...!

Ngzasn8k o

Okay, Perceval. Time to prove your mettle. I have to say, I love his idle pose. It's so... swaggy.

6goyu6pk oExgn8oog o

Not bad, but I know how you roll. You always miss. You never not miss. The occassional hit is not the rule, but the exception. Watch your step.

Iqmdhpyy oHqbvq4ek o

Nice dodge. Especially because his shield is already red.

Zlu5rkd5 oImqxhs8k o

I do love the power of this thing, even if it gets Ward doubled.

X9svr61z o

This is the one steel arrow that survived the Muerthen incident. May it fly square and true into the enemy's eye.

Z0cx4ttu oZ3bupram o

See, Sherlock? This is why she's been deployed in, like, 75% of the maps, and you haven't.

Fftorx2z o

So long. You served her well, arrows.

Marfuvsv o

Oof! I'm hoping to get her to level 10 before the map's end.

Tm0lcpeh o

Gramming time.

Sra7f43m oG9bfolp5 o

This is always fun.

Lztqtk4g o

...Oh, d'oh...

Plqsojbq oOz13zz8d o

'Kay, then. Physic time. In retrospect, that was a waste of a physic charge, but eh. It's not as rare as in other games.

Ruzaf6vl o

Well, that was the turn.

Keaygohl o

Please, Sherlock. Win, for once in your life.

Noeyizyi oD1i3jdvm o

Elementary, my dear Sherlock. Did you know Sherlock Holmes never actually said that? It's the first piece of trivia that you're told when you start looking into the character.

Gtbqcqsv o

Oh, Ruben... Why? Why would you move Sherlock forward? There are so many units you should frontline with that aren't fuckin' Sherlock...

Mlzk0ohw o

Yeah. How'd that work for you, Ruben? My hope was that he'd find no enemies and would remain hidden in the fog. But, he found enemies, so he couldn't remain hidden in the fog.

Zpw37kdv oMrmryjez o

And just like that...

Izrtvmdt o

I almost lost him. Admittedly, those are some shit hitrates, but I've lost people to worse odds before.

V1dtheaz oYhy77kc0 oLqcgqeig oXguy5eq0 o

Huh. Well, look at that. He actually performed. Maybe I need to risk his life more often.

8fnxbffr o

Ward, guard Sherlock with your life! God knows they'll have a far harder time taking yours than his...

Fdf6to1n o

'Kay, let's ambush the gate. You see, I'm actually a bit afraid of this area because I know for a fact that there's a miniboss somewhere around here. And he's gonna fuck us over if we aren't careful.

Cvcznwdl oE6v8twdf oWtmmlipv oRsmx4kou o

Surely Reese can take him on, though. By the way, look at that welcoming committee. Ain't that great.

Vo7gpbrk oRffpyuao o

Thaddy continues to advance. His request is actually really easy, because there are no enemies in his way or anything. Just go in, search the houses, and... take care not to forget to move him. In my first run they captured Czene because I completely forgot about her.

4ocvdybn oN73kbmgr o

Kill for Marcel.

Ye6wjizb o

He gets more fabulous with each victory.

Rce66j2w o

Now... This dude could go out and kill us, but he won't. These guys don't leave the fort, thankfully.

Fvzm3cpe o

Hmmm... Axe dude can't reach the tile behind Sherlock... I think I know what I'll do with him.

9fgnnzmy o

Adept?

Fwpuhcdy oExnceqyc o

No Adept. Shame. But at least he hit his mark.

Opxaodeg oNoaqhrdg o

Hyahahahahah... Not expecting this, were you?

2wi8c8wn oIjxydfpx oPeuibmwx o

Nobody accomplished anything that time.

Ywqkovkr o

Ah.

AH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!

Lln8u1i5 o

No, he's not! Nobody hired you to kill Perceval in particular! Go after someone else, go after the enemy general! Go after Ward! Ward!

78nfnu97 o

Halt! Stop! Cease! Abort! Don't! Please... pretty please! Gah!

Ejkizxzy o

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrghh...! Ooooooohh... Okay, looks like... Phew, he's alive. Turning himself into a spring roll was a great defensive tactic, it seems.

Xy7j0w7z o0vyvfvvs o

We came out of that all right, but as you can see, that could've ended far, far more tragically. Not sure if the game rounds up or down, but either way, we were looking at a 20~% chance of losing Percy already. Oh, fuck me...

Mx0fa5jn oVlirra56 oMby4ncuq o

You're dying now. Can't let the likes of you roam freely.

Cbpww4bo oVwztdnor o

Don't miss this one. It is imperative that you do not botch this up.

Hkqfgtfi o

You know, Sherlock, for you to become great you need to get some kills. This is not it.

B4oenez6 o

He can't even flee that far. I mean, far enough as long as Lebrus falls this turn, but...

D5gegegg oWvtl2m92 o

All right, and with that...

Dpndk4su o

Marcel can score the kill. Gotta get to level 15 as soon as possible.

Tcpaajot oJj8pkjor o

If he misses, it's no biggie. He can take it.

P9imtn1m o

There we go, splendid!

Usr6tcj5 o

You almost were, my mate. You almost were.

Vheeavhh o

Get something good!

Jzhkio1y oMhwmdl7v o

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgggghhh... Accuracy. That's fine. Could be worse, could be speed. 7 levels to go now. It's... a ton, but oh well, what can you do. Kaga giveth and Kaga taketh away. Your movement, in this case.

Biorsdp7 oO6b4mcdw o

Let's continue working on the gate. I still don't see how whacking a fort gate with a sword is going to do anything, but...

Snwi7hf8 o

Hah! Ahah! Welp, sword threshold reached. He's all ready, now he just needs to join.

2ehcy8oj oOdwq3oom o

Go, Sherpa! Finish that pesky door off!

Atidkgiz o

Hahah, yeah, you sure showed it!

Cj5upbjv o

Ah! Horsemen!

Cnch0ftp o

Sherpa cannot do enemy phase.

Uk0eh2ad oJoyeqstb oCmknhhyh o

Because he's so good, he murders the enemy and then he gets blasted away himself.

45g77jp1 o

On the other hand, he's somehow ready to level up.

V4xx7bmk o

Hah. Good joke. Very funny.

Pytx2vnr oBjwlsogn o

Patching up.

D4yhqaq9 o

Some guy's been battle crying the entire time. I don't know where he is, but I know I'm terrified. I don't believe he's in the fort, either... Must be somewhere in the town.

Wadyzrjh o

Whatever. First search, go.

Wrrlsoja o

There's a dude inside.

Jqxbcsr9 o87kz2d0l o

He failed to touch Thaddy, and then he ran. Good job, there. Truly the bravest of trespassers. Running for his life from a guy who'd need to strike like 20 times to beat him.

Tj8dm9ft o

Awesome, a cloth bag! One of the world's most expensive commodities, as we know.

Sojpxtgg o

Also, a level. That'll be helpful for the recruitment, if nothing else.

Fk8lmlqw o

Eh... Durability is good.

Ebpfzoeo oWkij9djk o

And with that settled, Reese will perform the initial strike against the fort's troops.

5k6atoiv o0ceiesqu oHnz6xhqc oIat8uhbc o

That's one down. A bunch to go.

Rknw6at4 oGlkjqnlc o

Okay, so first order of business: Ensure Perceval's safety.

1eymhjy0 o

If she hits him, that's all good. If she fails, that's all right, because he can't cross cliffs very well, so he can't make it to Percy.

F4jfvfsd oTfsfgcjs o

One-handed crossbow, go!

S4u2s5rz o

Always good to have an archer you can count on. Hah!

Ub90bqof o

Okay, now she only needs one more and we're set.

0e444aqa o

Ahahahahah! Yes! A decent level, at long last! I am so happy. Thank you, Sylvis. You're the best.

Edvv8lvg o

Remaining rider charges at Reese.

X7nlbf4m o

Failure.

Uveeprkh o

Uh, on both ends.

Kjnkhch9 oFbggctuj o

Scratch that.

Vq7rbiae oX0elbqha o

Oh, dear. Brave bow.

Yhfxr5d0 oRapbrsi1 o

Not a chance!

7am8zted o1p5w3tr5 o

And now, time to get rid of this guy. With the rapier, to conserve Gram uses for once.

7swumpg8 o

Another level! Today's being a very levable day.

Upvl49g6 o

Not too bad. HP and accuracy is always nice.

Forbivj2 o

Reese retreated after that, leaving Sherpa exposed.

Zvsfisep o9uxoghka oFccybj3q oDykaq9a0 o

Oh, goddamnit, he's hurt again...

L08daq3r oUvs0ldxe o

For such a fancy guy, you sure failed in comparison to the average soldier before you.

6xvbx9ja oJfx7srpv oTxbkuq7j o

You could learn some things from him. Go and ask him in Hell, would you?

Mfdxklrs o

I'm even catching the popups rather reliably today! Nice! I can only hope this goodness keeps up.

Ruvnp2vl oAhzra1by o

Moving in! Fort is going to be ours in no time at all!

Gb02idrp o

Nice! Arrows--

GAH! TERRIBLE! UNMOVED TROOPS!

Z8o1i1e9 oLyaok0ge o

Oh no. Oh my. Oh God. Oh brother. What have I done?!

4sxkaacg o

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OWEN YOU SLOWPOKE! IZERNA AND SAPHIRA STILL WOULDN'T HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST AS SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

F5ivnwcd o

Okay, okay, let's not lose our heads... There is still one thing we can do to save him.

A2di15n4 o

Phew... Ohhh, man, that could've been awful... Why did I overestimate Sherpa's durability? He's a god of combat, but he cannot take hits for shit!

Bamz6o3x oPjpwnivx o

Endgame Beard saves the day!

Xssrnvql oKczmq5ew o

He loses his shield, but gets a point in exchange. You know, another point. Seriously, why does Ward keep getting all the skill points? He does not need them! Stop!

Cbdgj3tn oIzxjjqgq o

Bastards! That is the last time you endanger my units! That's right, I'll blame you for my own blunders! After all, you're going to die in about 10 seconds! And who's going to argue me, then? Huh!?

Fkdi8swy oVzzidfhn o

See? See!? I am winner!

Am3rneuc o

Level for Sherlock. Been a while, hasn't it? He's kinda underleveled right now, so this'll do him good.

Kwqgpbmg o

Overwatch... To be honest, this isn't that good for Sherlock. He can't hide like Sylvis, his accuracy and power are lower than hers and he can't even use his higher movement while Overwatching. Still not bad to have, I mean, better than not having it, but this isn't his best tool.

Oy6kdc5x oGdm9d6px o

While Owen climbs up the hill on his way to Sherpa, he patches up Perceval.

F97juatb o

There we go.

4yd5b3yg o

Turn five is upon us. Immediately after pressing "end turn" I realized that...

Zmdauo9y o

I completely forgot about Thaddy. This is how Czene got captured that one time, you know. I mean, it's still just turn 5, he can make it no problem, but... I better make sure not to repeat this blunder.

Shhhdxy3 o9qmdxpu6 o

Still, we've more pressing matters to attend to. These guys need to die right now.

Kaafyfco oGeqluvgd oIt7mmalg oZyd5mzbh o

Aurgh! Ward didn't dodge anything... Now both him and Sherpa are in danger of death!

Brmepbt6 o

Thankfully, this is more or less ov-- Ahah! Bwahah! Yeah, sure. Like hell imma try that. That's how I lose Perceval.

Sbe1obak oCgcxuann o

First things first, heal Ward just two points shy of his maximum health.

Bwtib2fk o

Now, Percy. Please toss some thunder onto this guy's head.

A2cwlcl6 o

Son of a bitch! I knew it! I knew you'd do this! It's always the same. Without fail, if I have you use Dire Thunder, you miss one of the strikes!

Jmtsllcx oEgyjwbjm o

Bah... Well, whatever. Reese, finish off the pesky brave archer.

Nu5dvtiy oXhm6pj3t o

And now... Sherlock, show Perceval how it's done! Double-Shot!

Ft56gs25 oHzlvuh2o o

I should've known better than to expect you of all people to do better than Perceval.

Fyddufei o

Well, at any rate, that's more or less it for this part of the map. I like how, between the prisoners' vision and ours, there's only one hidden tile left in the whole fort, and it happens to be the one the boss is standing on.

Mkdhde92 o

While the rest of the team handles the prison break, Marcel and Sylvis scout ahead carefully.

Lc0nlnzu oPyjucq4r o

Oi! Gilgamesh, you piece of trash! Stop that!

Qklbvfov oK27y5z2m o

Gilgamesh is your average Raze priest. He's stuck there with only the other boss to protect him, and he has no skills. If I were smart, I would snatch the swarm orb with Thaddy by ensuring he doesn't re-equip it to attack anyone. I'm not smart, though, so instead, I'll see if I can capture him.

E7l389eq oJzkgtlhe o

In the meantime, let's undo all of his efforts.

Afprfyh3 o

Doing that has uncovered Nielsen.

8c1kdhvf oKnfqrkow o

Nielsen is general/10. He drops his sword and has shieldfaire so capturing him is inconvenient as hell. Not worth trying, to be honest.

9wulpmel o

We'll get to those two next turn. For now, it's time to end their last defender.

Dqhi5gq9 oJmaf4xyx o

Just like so.

Xjwrbvne o

Now, before I forget, let's search house nº 2.

0bpllfyy o

It has another guy in it with a minuscule hitrate. For some reason he's from the yellow faction? Don't get why, but okay.

8cc3kmlp oPig4wiuf o

He escapes and Thaddy nabs his booty.

A2ymz8ae oLage2mc3 o

The medic's finally here.

Pqwe8trn o

...Oh, dear. Looks like we found the battle crier...

Mfolqqt8 oKtzsxnpw o

O-Ooooooooooooouuch... Owowow... Oof...

Muxga0mx oTc8ywkvk o

Run and heal, run and heal!

Hzhyqomk o

The time has come to confront the bosses.

Gbflgyeg o3jg5tp5n o

Excellent, there it goes.

1f3k0n4a o

Well, Percy? Can I hope for a successful Dire Thundering?

Ysgyq9oe o

Hah! That's a cute pun, real cute.

Qzcykmt6 o

All right, Perce. Please don't fail this one.

Gy3cp5js o

Wohooo! Ohohohohohahahahahahahah! Nice! Niiice! Spectacular! Formidable! Exemplary! I am proud, Perceval. Keep this up, and mayhap I shall forgive--

Jhgd0avl o

YOUUUUUUUUUUU BLISTERING BARNACLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Cqu8svyj o

No matter. That was good damage still. I'm hoping for a crit here. Surely it shan't be a challenge for the Leen Meen Creet Macheen Reese?

Vduzvmqj o6uamjsxd o

Meh...

Ebbtshtv oZgxxk6gy o

Ahah, as expected!

Hgr9nhrf o

Oh, whoa, another blow?

Iekbtpfw o

WHAT!? MORE!? AND ANOTHER CRIT, TO BOOT! HOHOHOLY SHIT!

For those of you who got lost there, here's what happened:

Reese attacked, no damage > Nielsen counterattacked, no damage > Reese doubled, crit > Gram's extra round, no damage > Adept for Gram's extra round, crit

In other words, Reese just entered ripper mode and the only reason Nielsen didn't turn into red ribbons is that he has a shield bigger than him.

Zl5vzwqj o

I have to congratulate you for surviving that savage onslaught. Unfortunately for you... There is no defense against the winds of destruction! Of the wind sword!

Lgfbsufc o4mgw7wt6 oVhismigu o

I know, I just did two obscure Metal Gear Rising references and yet I'm missing the most obvious one. I can't really think of a way to fit "NANOMACHINES, SON" here, all right?

Culu3hup o

Well, your defenses were pretty sturdy, I'll give you that. But we had the element of surprise on our side. It's not that surprising.

Qlwjb9rq o

Huh... Hmph... Bleh... Arturo, come now...

Acghzw3y o5nxyrfpj o

With his blade in our hands, it's time to confront Gilgamesh.

Ngffbafh o

But first...

Bbeotexa o8ua6cm6i o

Oh boy. Wait, is anyone else having a bit of déjà vu? I seem to remember someone else having this exact battle quote... Also, they didn't even bother to put the same portrait on the battle forecast. Hah!

Lxtpfnan oTu3a22y8 o

Anyhow, same deal as the other two houses. He actually gets a hit on Thaddy, but neither party falls.

Vnkflv5n oF1rhmwyh o

Thus, the guy leaves, letting Thaddy live despite the fact that he saw his face (though I suppose it's so forgettable he probably can't remember it already). Sidequest nº 1 is fulfilled!

N16bb9uz o

Okay.

Rtlts8ji o

Gilgamesh, give us your best shot!

Xf7csuyp o

He's one of those guys whose whole personality is his weapon. You know, this makes me realize, I never did take a gif of the swarm, did I?

H2ygbuw9 o

Why, that is easily remedied!

Ywgo76oc o

A bit of a slow spell, but it's nice nonetheless.

Sfnglmbp o35i3g0wg o

Let's try some flourishing.

Jgcyg21w oAivqz3bv o

You've got to be kidding me, Arturo...

Lltvieu3 oBeczqbsq o

Okay, okay, don't panic... We can wait till Owen gets there with the blizzard orb. Maybe put it to some use, at last.

Mdylnewx o

Down here, Thaddy begins making his way back. The rest of the army starts leaving the fort. That city won't take itself!

2x50ul79 oFbpv9mct o

Okay, making good pr-- Wait!

Qf1ojbef o

Oh, goddamnit! I completely forgot about Vester! Yeah, I forgot about the main objective, I know!

Sj9z2exn o

Back, back!

Tnik0x08 oReakwyxa o

Damnit, and now this one's poisoned... Guess capturing Gilgamesh will have to wait. If Owen tries and fails, Arthur is kind of screwed.

0uuqyccb oIjlr7gpq o

You know, I don't think I've ever used this before.

Gu2qalrc oG40id3kx o

Eh, cute effect.

Offhbw3w o

...Ahahahahahahah! Yeah, definitely nobody has ever used this orb before, if this slipped by the cracks.

53ta9zkj o

While some guys will return to free Vester, the rest will continue on and clear his path. Thus, Sylvis scouts ahead carefully. You know, except without Marcel this time around.

Vstewbzo o

There's the fucker... Well, that's one good side effect of Marcel tanking that big arrow. Now that he's so close...

Zislwtvj o

We can do him in before he can do some real harm!

3moilix8 oMq66sm8d o

A free bow. Not too shabby.

Jhzoug8q o05edbxh1 oZbnrg5gn o

Ward follows his liege suit and skewers a man to near death.

Ey5as6ik o

Hmm... Gotta heal Arthur.

Cegvuy0o oVpt44eyu o

There goes the first of the near broken heals.

6uegwub1 o

Oh, you fool... As if that'll do more than extend your misery!

Hjvxgwvj oN84qcq99 o

And with that, Vester and his goons are free! Yes, I completely missed Arthur getting attacked again by Gilgamesh. Same damage as before, poison again. No matter, no matter. Vester is free!

...And I think that's a good place to end the update. We have stormed the fort and freed Vester. Next time, we conquer the town to ensure his safe escape. And, with any luck, I'll be able to take Gilgamesh alive so I can give his orb to Erzheimer. And, well, it goes without saying, but I do hope we can all get out of here with our lives. See you next time, and... Well, bit late to wish me luck, since I already finished the map before I began writing this update, but still! Hope for the best! Farewell!

 

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Faye x 1

* Unavailable

Capture count: 1 (Daoud)

Reset count: 1 (Ward: 1)

 

Current perfect streak: 0.5 maps

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

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15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, it's not that inconvenient...

With the way posting on SF works sometimes I wonder.

16 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Was that... really necessary?

Yeesh it wasn't. True though it may be, it really wasn't.

17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But isn't it hell to get legit games afterwards because modding compromises your nintendo account or something like that? I don't know, I just feel it's too overly complicated when it really shouldn't be.

It is one of those things to consider, hence why I'd be slow to do it while the console's relevant.

As to version updates, those who are involved in CFW tend to be pretty quick at getting updates for updates to the console. I'm not sure what the current situation is on that, I'd recommend confirming that's the case before starting regardless.

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I guess, but I don't know, it felt like every time I used a combat art the game started to die on me.

I'm really not remembering it being that bad for combat arts anyways.

Gambits on the other hand....... hoo wee.

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why do you have to do that? Why can't I be allowed to be happy!? It's as if I do the same thing with Three Houses because it angers me due to all the wasted potential and the fact that, fuck me I wanted to love it like the rest!

19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes. You were. And in this one, too. Stop dissing my favorite game just for the heck of it. Do I diss your favorite game?

I guess I just got too wound up in trying to respond to your love for it by going "BuT WhAT AboOt dIS BaD ThiNG?" forgetting that 1. it was just rude, 2. maybe that was just being a bit bitter because at least you're not still on the fence (keeping in mind I don't count Berwick as an explicit FE game because of all the things Berwick does differently)?

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahh, I finally found the Black Knight! That's... a hilarious fight scene, to say the least.

Dammit, I wasn't hoping you wouldn't but I picked too obvious a line.

The movie it's a part of is still a funny watch though.

23 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And then there's the issue of the source he gets his counsel from...

Aka reason 1 Berwick's fucked.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
F99m4ka1 o

Oh dear, fog! This is another one of Berwick's beloved escape maps. Same deal as ever, we have 24 turns and then everyone still on the map is captured. Escape point is on the other side of the map this time, through the town, which is crawling with Bornian troops. The first stop, however, should be the fort, which is also crawling with troops, and no less than two bosses. We have to get through three gates (main reason I brought Sherpa, the Brymranger leaves them with like 20 HP), and afterwards escort Vester to the escape point. If he dies, it's game over. Ideally, we want to clear the fort first, and then secure the city before Vester gets there.

For today's tactics points, we need to protect Vester's fellow prisoners. If all four make it, we get 3 points. If one of them dies, we get 2 points. Beyond that, we get a free point for clearing the map.

Oh boy, it's fog of war!

Even if it's clever fog of war, I still predict this won't end well.

(Speaking of, does 3H have enemies? I suppose you'll confirm no and I don't think so either but I have to ask something to myself: How would they go about fixing enemy AI behaviour so that they didn't have to cheat?)

27 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Klqkwg4r oLord Vester, this childishness does not befit a man of your station. You bring scandal upon your father and upon the whole Duchy of Bornia.

Lgjkwhcy oBut it's so obvious! Even Lyarc could sense the foul play!

Generic unaware enemy generals.

The stuff midgame's made of.

28 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Hpa3xox0 o

Lgjkwhcy oDude, Gilgamesh is right there! Don't say things like that in front of the priests! That magic they practice is scary! Should I have Almuth come around to tell you about all the effects?

I mean, that's something that could be cool to see expanded on. Shame this is all we'll get I suppose.

29 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Elementary, my dear Sherlock. Did you know Sherlock Holmes never actually said that? It's the first piece of trivia that you're told when you start looking into the character.

I mean considering he's fictional that's obvious.

I know you don't mean that, but still.

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Xy7j0w7z o0vyvfvvs o

We came out of that all right, but as you can see, that could've ended far, far more tragically. Not sure if the game rounds up or down, but either way, we were looking at a 20~% chance of losing Percy already. Oh, fuck me...

Seriously, where was skill in this?

It meant weapon skill didn't it?

Dammit I am still not over it.

33 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jzhkio1y oMhwmdl7v o

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgggghhh... Accuracy. That's fine. Could be worse, could be speed. 7 levels to go now. It's... a ton, but oh well, what can you do. Kaga giveth and Kaga taketh away. Your movement, in this case.

RLqT4D9D_o.pngI've had worse.

38 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
0e444aqa o

Ahahahahah! Yes! A decent level, at long last! I am so happy. Thank you, Sylvis. You're the best.

STRONKBOW

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Kwqgpbmg o

Overwatch... To be honest, this isn't that good for Sherlock. He can't hide like Sylvis, his accuracy and power are lower than hers and he can't even use his higher movement while Overwatching. Still not bad to have, I mean, better than not having it, but this isn't his best tool.

I mean, it can be nice in say, a fog of war map where it'll prevent an enemy from hitting you from behind if they can see you and and you can't.

Unless that's not possible.

But as he can move from place to place faster than Sylvis he could be good to temporarily set them up for cavs or units falling behind as well. A second overwatch is nice.

42 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Qklbvfov oK27y5z2m o

Gilgamesh is your average Raze priest. He's stuck there with only the other boss to protect him, and he has no skills. If I were smart, I would snatch the swarm orb with Thaddy by ensuring he doesn't re-equip it to attack anyone. I'm not smart, though, so instead, I'll see if I can capture him.

To use a name like Gilgamesh for this disappoints me.

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
8c1kdhvf oKnfqrkow o

Nielsen is general/10. He drops his sword and has shieldfaire so capturing him is inconvenient as hell. Not worth trying, to be honest.

At least he doesn't really have to be caught.

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
0bpllfyy o

It has another guy in it with a minuscule hitrate. For some reason he's from the yellow faction? Don't get why, but okay.

Turns out Kaga decided to actually use the fourth faction that first came in Genealogy.

Once.

Man Golden Deer getting shafted here and in Heroes? Shocker /s

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Gy3cp5js o

Wohooo! Ohohohohohahahahahahahah! Nice! Niiice! Spectacular! Formidable! Exemplary! I am proud, Perceval. Keep this up, and mayhap I shall forgive--

Jhgd0avl o

YOUUUUUUUUUUU BLISTERING BARNACLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Perceval.jpg.

45 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Iekbtpfw o

WHAT!? MORE!? AND ANOTHER CRIT, TO BOOT! HOHOHOLY SHIT!

For those of you who got lost there, here's what happened:

Reese attacked, no damage > Nielsen counterattacked, no damage > Reese doubled, crit > Gram's extra round, no damage > Adept for Gram's extra round, crit

In other words, Reese just entered ripper mode and the only reason Nielsen didn't turn into red ribbons is that he has a shield bigger than him.

RULES OF NATURE INTENSIFIES

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Zl5vzwqj o

I have to congratulate you for surviving that savage onslaught. Unfortunately for you... There is no defense against the winds of destruction! Of the wind sword!

That is one way to just insult him.

Not even an actual mage for it.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I know, I just did two obscure Metal Gear Rising references and yet I'm missing the most obvious one. I can't really think of a way to fit "NANOMACHINES, SON" here, all right?

I did miss the not Rules of Nature one.

Still no ideas for Nanomachines though.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Bbeotexa o8ua6cm6i o

Oh boy. Wait, is anyone else having a bit of déjà vu? I seem to remember someone else having this exact battle quote... Also, they didn't even bother to put the same portrait on the battle forecast. Hah!

I remember it too.

Having two faces is a new one though.

Xane, is that you?

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ywgo76oc o

A bit of a slow spell, but it's nice nonetheless.

The horse looks like it's coughing from the poison.

Call up BSPCA now, this monster has to be arrested.

50 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Hjvxgwvj oN84qcq99 o

And with that, Vester and his goons are free! Yes, I completely missed Arthur getting attacked again by Gilgamesh. Same damage as before, poison again. No matter, no matter. Vester is free!

Completely irrelevant that he got hit again. 😛

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1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nowhere...? It's literally every factory in the world that issues these warnings.

Oh... I thought I had seen it or read it somewhere on the SCP wiki but I wasn't sure.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

At least your name isn't so easy to pun as, say, Lee.

Oh yeah, that's cruel.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Incidentally, play TearRing Saga. Get an emu with speed-up, though. The game is slow.

Oh so it turns uot FE7 was inspired from FE7's slow gameplay. Good to know 😛
Truthfully, I might one day.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You're talking as if I were in any way special.

Yeah I probably am, it's just your LPs are so thorough and long that IDK, it gave me that impression of being high-quality. Which it may still be, I mean you do put more effort into your LPs than most people, not that that's a bad thing for other people to not spend 3 hours with every update.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Of course it is, paellas are great.

I just hope I one day get to try one.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Your trap in America?

And, well, live and let live, I think. Ain't my place to chastise people for throwing their money away for PNGs of anime girls.

Heh, I predicted the in America reference. I will still chastise people for wasting their money, free to play is one thing but it's so stupidly retarded to pay for them. Specially when they are on the internet and if you really want to honk the horn, you've got the internet for that for better stuff I imagine.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not really. He just leaves Faye at the guild and disappears. Off to hide under the desk again. That's another thing, Faramir doesn't appear at the merc guild until you hire Faye and she leaves, he's so shy.

Still an incel trait to be so shy around girls but who am I to judge? Many people are shy without being incels. But coupled with what he said, maybe he's just a well-intended dummy, I shouldn't judge.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes, of course it was in America. I mean, where else could it've been? Papua New Guinea?

Lol.
inb4 Ruben says I can't boss him around to laugh out loud and instead laughs in softly. Which is not necessarily part of my trap but not because I was trying.

Quote

You cannot nuke me! You aren't Gandhi, last I checked!

I may not be Gandhi with his 1-2=9 nuking love. But I have a 10 for nuking and conquering anyways mwahahaha!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait, how does my pfp not show up in the notification?

...Well, I suppose if someone else replies quickly enough, their pfp would replace mine...

Yeah sth like "Pengaius, St. Rubenio and Benice commented on "The league shall fall if I'm in control"" blah blah, I guess it's more when someone replies to a previous update and I ignore them, and then you post the next update which is the coupled together if I got no new notifications and so your pfp doesn't appear.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

FE is obviously less problematic because I have more time to "react" and there's fewer buttons that truly matter.

Of course.

Lol.

Of course!

Engaging commentary from me ha!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Because if he tried to stop her, he'd get smacked even harder.

How so? Wouldn't Sienna just be smacked in the head under the guise of "be quiet, woman"?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tell that to Volcens.

"Volcens! It's simple history! Pay closer attention to your own family's legacy!"
-"I'll have you executed for speaking up against me"
"It's common sense... well, bye bye!"
*teleports away*

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That was literally his first scene, I think. He got roasted by Sienna, screamed "Do what you want! I'm leaving!" and just fled the room with Padolf in tow. Even though he was the one that called for the audience in the first place.

As for Herman... unfortunately, Herman's more competent than both of them, and that isn't a good thing.

Lol, that's so stupid, what a cry baby.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What? That's just my portrait for unknown people who have no other faces! It's not "HAHAHAHAHA" worthy!

...okay, it is, that's why I use it.

Well duh lol. I want shit-eating boomer to save the Berwick League.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahahah! Good one, good one.

Yay, I achieved comedy!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To summarize: Volcens is an idiot. There. Now you know.

I realized that since he first opened his damn mouth.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's Volcens. Name one bad trait, he has it.

Small pp? I mean maybe that's why he seethes so hard.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He'll still be imprisoned, and he can't lead from prison. It's better than him dying, but it's still pretty bad.

Oh right, god damn it.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

They have a crapton of health and give +2 bonus speed.

Figured as much, that they were durable that is. +2 speed is epic.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Reese's stepsister. If you've seen any anime at all, it should come as no surprise that I prefer to call her Reese's "sister-in-heat".

What I mean is, she wants to fuck Reese. They only knew each other for like a year before the game started, yet the game insists on refering to them as siblings. Because anime.

Ah of course, this simple trick will make you millions of dollars. It's so dumb.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't think she can, sadly. There's not a drop of royal blood in her. But that'd certainly be something.

*Sad boi noises*

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah, neeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddd

Sorry.

*Sadder boi noises* Why holy-bearded man?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, because child abuse isn't an issue when other children do it, amirite? Boys will be boys, and all that! Until the boy commits suicide at the ripe age of 10 or brings a weapon to school. That's what it takes for assholes to take bullying seriously, sadly.

Pretty much. It's so stupid, but the sheer amount that this mental health problem around the world gets ignored due to other idiotic shit like Trump's newest tweet he took while taking a dump receives is just sad.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Today's map theme is best map theme.

Pretty neat, but not as good as Knight's Pride!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Tfogtjby o

I just want to point out the generic garbage bagman of the day. Err... I think you're lost, pal. The bridge mission is two chapters from now.

He's searching for Excalibur, he thought he would find it here.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ye6wjizb o

He gets more fabulous with each victory.

His sprite does look very cool. It reminds me of Harken's official art.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
0e444aqa o

Ahahahahah! Yes! A decent level, at long last! I am so happy. Thank you, Sylvis. You're the best.

Imagine getting a waifu with good stats... damn it Rebecca!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Mfdxklrs o

I'm even catching the popups rather reliably today! Nice! I can only hope this goodness keeps up.

I mean how hard is it? Don't you have a special key attached to screenshots?

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Gy3cp5js o

Wohooo! Ohohohohohahahahahahahah! Nice! Niiice! Spectacular! Formidable! Exemplary! I am proud, Perceval. Keep this up, and mayhap I shall forgive--

Jhgd0avl o

YOUUUUUUUUUUU BLISTERING BARNACLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Oof, well something is better than nothing,

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I can't really think of a way to fit "NANOMACHINES, SON" here, all right?

"Wanna know why I keep blocking? Nanomachines son!" ... yeah ok maybe not.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ywgo76oc o

A bit of a slow spell, but it's nice nonetheless.

Oh no how terrifying..? It's just butterflies leaving some powder thing.

 

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