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It's been forever since I've been on a date and I've realized I have unfair and somewhat irrational expectations of a woman. Should I reconsider the requirement that they have completed Ghosts 'n' Goblins? Is there an alternate game I can use?

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Maybe change it to Super Ghosts 'n' Goblins. The original is just irrational, the remake is clearly more sane.

Alternatively, if they've completed Revelations (either the Persona game or the Fire Emblem game), then you know they can basically deal with anything, so maybe consider that completion as a circumnavigation of the Ghosts 'n' Goblins

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we in a global pandemic and you're thinking about dating?

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C'mon man, you already have Mel

Do not reconsider. It may take you 30 years to find one such woman, but she'll make the rest of your life worth living.

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Is this a joke, or a genuine question? I honestly can't tell, as saving the requirement for the end makes the sentence read like bait-&-switch humour. 

If it's a serious question, then that requirement is rather specific. I'm a big fan of The Legend of Zelda games, but, while it would be great if I found a woman who also liked The Legend of Zelda, I wouldn't have that as a requirement. 

But, then again, I've never actually dated, and it's not for lack of trying. 😢

 

Also,

50 minutes ago, Navv said:

we in a global pandemic and you're thinking about dating?

This. You're seriously thinking about dating in a time like this?

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54 minutes ago, Navv said:

we in a global pandemic and you're thinking about dating?

If you have to self-isolate, might as well do it with someone else

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I've never dated, so I probably shouldn't say anything.

If it were me, I'd wait until the right person comes along, though.

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51 minutes ago, vanguard333 said:

Is this a joke, or a genuine question? I honestly can't tell, as saving the requirement for the end makes the sentence read like bait-&-switch humour. 

Definitely more joke than serious. Hence Far From the Forest. But I couldn't resist. (To be honest I thought the tags would make it obvious) Although, my next answer explains a little.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

C'mon man, you already have Mel

Do not reconsider. It may take you 30 years to find one such woman, but she'll make the rest of your life worth living.

Poetically, the one woman I know who has beaten Ghosts 'n' Goblins (and for that matter Super Ghouls n Ghosts, though never regular Ghouls n Ghosts to my knowledge), is my own mother. Hence when my friend once suggested this as a dating requirement, I went with "well that worked for my father", and have since kind of ran with it as a joke. The most ironic thing would be if they were named Mel, thus making the whole username go full circle. (As per Tear Ring Saga's Mel and Roger for anyone who doesn't know why)

2 hours ago, DarthR0xas said:

Maybe change it to Super Ghosts 'n' Goblins. The original is just irrational, the remake is clearly more sane.

Alternatively, if they've completed Revelations (either the Persona game or the Fire Emblem game), then you know they can basically deal with anything, so maybe consider that completion as a circumnavigation of the Ghosts 'n' Goblins

To be honest, any of the sequels are more sane. You can literally have the timer run out on the second stage just from trying to wait out those ogres at the building. Unless they decide to move far enough from the ladders to let you through, you're going to just die from time running out because you can't just tank more than one hit. Game's very much about luck as much as skill.

1 hour ago, Navv said:

we in a global pandemic and you're thinking about dating?

I could make some comment about repopulating the planet, or make some argument blaming it on watching my family grow around me. But besides anything like that... I flat enjoy stupid questions.

54 minutes ago, Benice said:

I've never dated, so I probably shouldn't say anything.

If it were me, I'd wait until the right person comes along, though.

I'm surprised this didn't venture into Lee puns. But honestly your advice is good... I know from 2nd hand experience. That is I watched my brother waste years on a woman who he'd have probably despised if she was a man. Regardless, her shit got too much for him, and he ended it. She has spent the entire time since trying to sabotage his friendships and present relationship in a very unusual (and very doomed) bid to get him back. Not going into further detail than that

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Man. . .I'm a little tickled at the responses in this thread.

For the answer. . .unless they can finish Dark Souls on a DDR pad, blindfolded, they're not good enough for you.

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yeah, you should definitely lower your standards

maybe girls who watched The Angel's Egg (Tenshi no Tamago) could work as well?

Edited by Yexin

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3 hours ago, vanguard333 said:

This. You're seriously thinking about dating in a time like this?

The pandemic mostly just affects the elderly and ones with compromised health. If you are young and healthy, there is not really much to worry about. Just watch out for and worry about older relatives and people with weaker health.

Online dating is a thing. So is Skyping, mukbang, Netflix and chill, virtual dates, cybering, playing MMORPGS, etc. can all be done over the interwebs.

The urge to procreate and leave a lasting legacy is a strong instinct for a lot of people. It is how humanity reached 7 billion people.

4 hours ago, Zanarkin said:

If you have to self-isolate, might as well do it with someone else

Yeah.

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

It's been forever since I've been on a date and I've realized I have unfair and somewhat irrational expectations of a woman. Should I reconsider the requirement that they have completed Ghosts 'n' Goblins? Is there an alternate game I can use?

I would change the requirements to sharing a lot of the same interests. What if you find a girl who likes Ghosts n' Goblins but does not share much else in common with you?

For me, it would be nice to settle with a girl who can play Advance Wars with me, but it will be even if they also enjoy Warriors Orochi, Roblox, Unicornus Knights, Risk, D&D, Warhammer 40,000, cook, watch movies, travel, reading the news, etc. with me.

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Only date a woman who will agree to have your offspring circumcised.

6 hours ago, XRay said:

Roblox

Oh yeah and play Roblox, this one is almost as import as the snip.

Remember, if dating during the Corona Virus pandemic, be sure to wash your hands at least thirteen times during your date. If you don't feel the need to wash your hands that many times, you have failed to follow steps -3 through -12, please try again.

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2 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Only date a woman who will agree to have your offspring circumcised.

I rather not unless it is mandatory for health reasons. It just is not as fun without the full package. If I have a boy, I do not want him to go through what I went through.

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Your potential spouse doesn't need reflexes (though proficiency in F-Zero X/GX is attractive), what she needs is brains. Force her to play La Mulana without any form of guide, only a pen and paper to records notes along the way, if she can't finish the game in three days, dump her. And for a balanced breakfast, I recommend that she consume one sudoku, one crossword, and three picross puzzles because picross is best.

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3 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Remember, if dating during the Corona Virus pandemic, be sure to wash your hands at least thirteen times during your date. If you don't feel the need to wash your hands that many times, you have failed to follow steps -3 through -12, please try again.

I have OCD. I wash my hands more than that by the time I eat breakfast. It's actually hell, because I had to cut back because my hands were permanently dried out from excess exposure to soap in high-school.

3 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Only date a woman who will agree to have your offspring circumcised.

But what if the offspring are female?
 

11 hours ago, eclipse said:

Man. . .I'm a little tickled at the responses in this thread.

For the answer. . .unless they can finish Dark Souls on a DDR pad, blindfolded, they're not good enough for you.

So far my legitimate favourite response. Sorry Ruben, you're still second, but blindfolded Dark Souls on a DDR pad is funny.

9 hours ago, XRay said:

I would change the requirements to sharing a lot of the same interests. What if you find a girl who likes Ghosts n' Goblins but does not share much else in common with you?

What if I said it was never about sharing the same interest, but knowing they won't snap and knife me in my sleep after Van Million puns too many? (Sneaky plug for @Saint Rubenio's Berwick LP in my thread? It's more likeLee than you'd think). Not that unfair gameplay and bad puns are exactly the same, but in my experience they both make people throw things.

9 hours ago, XRay said:

The pandemic mostly just affects the elderly and ones with compromised health. If you are young and healthy, there is not really much to worry about. Just watch out for and worry about older relatives and people with weaker health.

I'll just summarize by saying I'm on the list of people that my country wouldn't bother giving a ventilator bed in an emergency. Mind, that's a fairly extensive list.

2 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

Your potential spouse doesn't need reflexes (though proficiency in F-Zero X/GX is attractive),

Yeah... I only ask challenges I could do. So beating F-Zero GX's story mode is right out anyway. I'd say something more lenient in terms of reflexes, like doing a no-death run of the turbo tunnel in Battletoads (mind the PAL region apparently makes some difference there).

2 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

And for a balanced breakfast, I recommend that she consume one sudoku, one crossword, and three picross puzzles because picross is best.

Also very important she not get sudoku confused with "seppuku". As that's in no one's best interests.

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On 4/6/2020 at 2:51 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

I have OCD. I wash my hands more than that by the time I eat breakfast. It's actually hell, because I had to cut back because my hands were permanently dried out from excess exposure to soap in high-school.

I got some pretty bad eczema from a combination of medical steroids and excessive hand washing. The solution is simple. You ever heard of this incredible stuff called hand lotion? It's practically unheard of, but if you find some, just slather that on your hands with the same zealous fervor you wash them.

My tips are, of course, to not use lotion right before you wash your hands, as lotion is hard to wash off and should be absorbed. Instead, find the times of day where you are relaxed and not engaged in hand-dirtying activities. Use these portions of the day to lubricate generously with hand lotion several times.

On 4/6/2020 at 2:51 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

But what if the offspring are female? 

Females are already born without foreskin, problem solved.

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