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XRay

Which Villains Will You Hang, Spare, or Convert? (And Beware of Possible Spoilers))

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I could not really think of an interesting topic much lately, but yeah, what the title says! And keep in mind there might be some spoilers for things, so you have been warned.

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Hang

Here is a list of fictional villains that I have serious beef with and want to beat up. This is basically my Book of Grudges/Death Note. In Warhammer, dwarves are very vengeful, and they write the name of their enemies and grudges in a book and pass that book down through the family, community, and country. Yeah, you do not want to fuck around with Warhammer dwarves! And for those of you who do not know what Death Note is, it is an anime about a character using the titular Death Note to kill his enemies and criminals. Death Notes are basically a magical notebook that death gods use to write the names of people in, which causes the written named person to die. You can also describe the death in the notebook, so you can extract more pain and suffering from the victim.

Fire Emblem:

Spoiler

Surtr
He killed Gunnthrá. In front of my eyes. While Gunnthrá is not anywhere close to being my favorite waifu, I still think she is a decent waifu. Surtr touching any of my waifus is a direct challenge to my authority, and it is a slight I will never forgive. That asshole messed with the wrong Summoner, unleashing the wrath of a thousand heroes that will descend upon him, drowning his puny flame with spit and piss and grinding his pathetic limp candle to dust under countless heels, hooves, and claws. I think he is a really good villain because he is just so hateable. He is probably one of my top Fire Emblem villains. It felt really good when I was finally able to unleash the full fury of Reinhardts and shoving both Fist and Sword up his fat bacon.

Hel
This asshole killed Eir MULTIPLE times. While she did leave Eir with one life left, so in a way that is a little better than Surtr since Eir technically is not completely murdered, Eir still had to go through multiple rounds of death and that is fucked up in my opinion. But yeah, even if Hel is a woman, she receives no mercy from me nor Reinhardt.

Julius
While I have not played Genealogy so I do not have particular beef with any of the villains, if I do play it, I imagine I would have the most beef with Julius cause he is a complete asshole based on what I read.

Advance Wars:

Spoiler

The Beast
Your stereotypical Fire Emblem brigand all about murdering and pillaging.

Waylon
Basically a fuckboy with a bit of the above Beast mixed in. While he is not about murdering and pillaging, he is a selfish asshat doing whatever he wants to please himself.

Greyfield
Reminds me a little of Trump if Trump had an ounce of competence.

Caulder
Mad scientist with a complete lack of ethics and morals.

Harry Potter:

Spoiler

Voldemort
Basically a magical Hitler. This mofo is going to regret making so many Horcruxes cause I am going to torture the piss out of those Horcruxes. When I am through with him, which is never, he is not going to be afraid of death anymore and instead he is going to long for her sweet embrace that will never come.

Bellatrix
Complete asshole too. She killed Dobby and laid her hands on Ginny, and I found great satisfaction that Molly beat the crap out of her and killed that bitch.

Death Eaters
The minions in general. They killed Hedwig and Fred. They killed some of the most lovable characters. There is a special place in hell for these racist Nazis.

Warhammer 40,000

Spoiler

Drukhari
They are dark elves and their whole society is basically built on slavery, rape, pain, and various forms of torture. Completely despicable.

Imperium of Man (sort of)
I do not want to lump all of Imperium of Man together since there are quite a few decent people, but there are also a lot of assholes. Individuals are not considered very valuable and many in the upper class have no qualms sacrificing billions or entire planets and star systems.

Chaos
Also complete mofos. If the Drukhari are basically Confederate-serial-killing rapists dialed up to 13, then the Chaos gods and their demons are in turn basically the Drukhari dialed up to 13.

— — — — — — —

Spare

These villains have committed serious crimes, but you forgive them anyways because they were coerced to do evil in some way shape of form or did something redeeming.

Fire Emblem

Spoiler

Reinhardt
Dude, you should have totally joined Olwen and convince Ishtar to defect too. Fuck Julius; how can you even stand a creep like him touching your liege? Like, how can you NOT see that it is your duty as a Friegen knight to defect and take Ishtar to safety after Julius turned into a complete asshole?

Xander
This dumbass has the sword of royal duty stuck so far up his ass that it reached his eyeballs so he lost sight of what real duty to family and country truly is. I cannot say I will ever forgive him for killing Elise, but I can somewhat empathize with his situation.

Ryoma
Same as Xander, but I can empathize more with Ryoma since he did not actually succeeded in killing his own family, although he did attempt to murder Corrin when you go against him, so I am not sure if that makes him as bad as Xander.

Helbindi
In a way, he kind of reminds me of a dog, a very unfriendly and barky dog, but also a very good and kind one once you get to know him better.

Líf
Really sucks to be you. The ending to Book III is still really sad as what we went through is nothing but a dream for another Líf elsewhere in the multiverse.

Harry Potter

Spoiler

Snape
He is a wannabe villain, so not real villain, but just wanted to give him a shout out for the difficult position that he was put in. He deserved his shitty situation though since it was his own fault, but he made the best of it and stayed true to his unrequited love for Lily. I am glad that he and Harry are able to come to terms with each other towards the end. He is a complete asshole to Harry, but we were able to see his actions with much more clarity towards the end of the series. He hates Harry to the core for sure, but whenever he looks at Harry in the eyes, I am pretty there is a bit of love for Harry somewhere in his heart, and I am glad that love won over hatred. Really tragic character.

Narcissa
Malfoy's mom. She spared Harry in exchange for information about the safety of his son, therefore I spare her. Malfoy and Harry sort of reconciled later in life.

— — — — — — —

Convert

Which villain do you want to convince to join your team? For me, this will be mostly waifus. I mean, who does not want more waifus/husbandos?

Fire Emblem:

Spoiler

Apotheosis!Anna
She is not a villain, but a boss, but who does not want the Goddess of RNG and powercreep on your side?

Camilla
I want a doting onee chan.

Laevatein
Cutey pie deserves a better life. Why would anyone make such a squeezable girl do murderhobo things? Just look at that smile!
r9z7jyhfoo721.png

Laegjarn
Arguably best onee chan along with Camilla. What she lacks in physical intimacy compared to Camilla, she makes up for it in devotion and duty. Camilla tried to actually kill you. Laegjarn sacrificed her life to save Laevatein.

Loki
Similar reason to Camilla. The friendly Loki is super doting and flirty. The enemy Loki is not doting to you, but she is still pretty flirty too.

Thrasir
I kind of want an ectoplasm waifu.

Plumeria
She needs to loosen up and understand that procreation is natural and beautiful.

Edelgard
She is a total asshole, but a lovable asshole nonetheless.

Game of Thrones

Spoiler

Daenerys
She is a semi-villain and semi-hero? Anyways, having the badass Mother of Dragons on your side would be pretty awesome.

 

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2 hours ago, XRay said:

There is a special place in hell for these racist Nazis.

I don't remember the bit in the Harry Potter canon where they all pledged their allegiance to National Socialism.

2 hours ago, XRay said:

This mofo is going to regret making so many Horcruxes cause I am going to torture the piss out of those Horcruxes.

Isn't there one inside Harry Potter himself? Also, some of them are tied to inanimate objects.

Edited by NinjaMonkey

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Revenge, that's the lesson for the kids!

I don't usually have a hit-list like this because my marks never get away. But I guess I would spare Albert Wesker. I just really dig his vibe of not wanting to just live, but to transcend. And I would convert Armored Mawdad from Pikmin 3. Oh, not convert him to my team. Convert him into 50 additional troops for my army. I love watching pikmin carry his massive corpse back to the onion.

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2 hours ago, XRay said:

touching any of my waifus is a direct challenge to my authority, and it is a slight I will never forgive

VunFLMZ.png

 

10 minutes ago, Glennstavos said:

Revenge, that's the lesson for the kids!

Have we learned nothing from the Beruka-Saizo support?

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1 minute ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Have we learned nothing from the Beruka-Saizo support?

......

......

.....

.....

[Beruka and Saizo have attained C support]

Edited by Benice

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One per category should be enough for now.

Hang:

Bravely Default (massive spoilers ahead!)

 


Airy. She has deceived so many alternate versions of the protagonists into doing her bidding only to then turn on and kill them when she had no more use for them. Cute fairy form aside, she has no redeeming qualities (except some darn bangin' boss themes and awesome writing to really make you hate her), so I'd hang her on the spot.

Spare:

Nights of Azure 2 - Bride of the New Moon:
The Moon Queen Malvasia. Poor girl doesn't deserve to die after everything she went through. Sure, she wants to bring about everlasting night, which would kill all humans, but it's hard not to feel sorry for her after hearing her backstory, which is as follows (massive spoilers ahead!):

 


She fell in love with a human named Alstromeria, but since Malvasia is a demon and humans tend to hate demons, their love was forbidden and so the two had to face a lot of slander, verbal and physical abuse, and ridicule for them being together. Alstromeria then fell victim to her despair and killed Malvasia in a botched attempt at a murder-suicide so the two could be together in death (a plan she never told Malvasia about, I might add). When Malvasia resurrected (because pure-blooded demons can never really die), she was just in time to find Alstromeria had already taken her own life in her grief and left a note addressed to her lover saying "If only I could be reborn as your heart." 
To top it all off, after all of that happened, Malvasia was also subjected to cruel experiments and torture by the resident religious organization known as the Curia, getting killed, dying, and resurrecting over and over again, which ultimately made her decide on going through with punishing humanity and plunging the world into an Eternal Night.
And to add insult to injury, Alstromeria's botched attempt at being together in death with the person she loved was later celebrated as Alstromeria having slain a pure-blooded demon in a single strike, something that is normally impossible for a regular human to achieve in the NoA universe.
In a nutshell, her backstory is a beautiful example of the "then let me be evil" trope.

Convert:

(see above :P)

Edited by DragonFlames

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4 hours ago, NinjaMonkey said:

I don't remember the bit in the Harry Potter canon where they all pledged their allegiance to National Socialism.

A lot of their actions parallel Nazis. Their devotion to a dictator is reminiscent of the cult of personality surrounding Hitler, Stalin, Putin, and Pooh Bear. They initiated a coup against the Ministry of Magic similar to how Hitler just took over the Weimar government by force. They also talk of genocide against nomajs, or at least a caste system with pure bloods on top.

The Order of the Phoenix hiding nomaj students in the Room of Requirements also reminds me of how Anne Frank's family had to hide in the attic.

Oh yeah, here is a wikipedia article on politics in Harry Potter if you are interested.

4 hours ago, NinjaMonkey said:

Isn't there one inside Harry Potter himself? Also, some of them are tied to inanimate objects.

Yeah, but Voldemort killed Harry and ironically got rid of that Horcrux himself. If he did not kill Harry, he might have still lived on.

3 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

VunFLMZ.png

I meant it more figuratively as in harm.

3 hours ago, DragonFlames said:

Nights of Azure 2 - Bride of the New Moon:
The Moon Queen Malvasia. Poor girl doesn't deserve to die after everything she went through. Sure, she wants to bring about everlasting night, which would kill all humans, but it's hard not to feel sorry for her after hearing her backstory, which is as follows (massive spoilers ahead!):

Damn. That is pretty tragic. I would probably be evil too.
Edited by XRay

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2 hours ago, Void Emperor said:

So... We're just discussing his list instead of making our own?

I encourage people to do whatever they want, whether it is making their own list or discussing others' lists. This is Far from the Forest after all! We are free!

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On 4/28/2020 at 2:23 AM, XRay said:

nomaj

Does your L key not work or something?

On 4/28/2020 at 2:23 AM, XRay said:

Yeah, but Voldemort killed Harry and ironically got rid of that Horcrux himself. If he did not kill Harry, he might have still lived on.

That doesn't address my point at all. You said you were going to "torture the piss" out of his horcruxes, which would include the one inside Harry, as well as the ones tied to inanimate objects. Which means you'd have to torture Harry (Also, how do you torture an inanimate object?).

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23 minutes ago, NinjaMonkey said:

Does your L key not work or something?

Nomaj is the term we use across pond when referring to muggles.

23 minutes ago, NinjaMonkey said:

That doesn't address my point at all. You said you were going to "torture the piss" out of his horcruxes, which would include the one inside Harry, as well as the ones tied to inanimate objects. Which means you'd have to torture Harry (Also, how do you torture an inanimate object?).

For obvious reasons, I am not going to torture Harry.

As for the others though, yes, I will throw them across the room, curb stomp them, shit on them, use the Cruciatus Curse on them, etc. Horcruxes are not inanimate objects, as they have souls and are sentient.

Edited by XRay

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1 minute ago, XRay said:

Horcruxes are not inanimate objects

I said that they are tied to inanimate objects, not that the horcruxes themselves are inanimate.

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