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Testing the Waters I've Gone off the Deep-end. A Shadow Dragon H5 test-run


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Testing the Waters... While Going off the Deep End. A dive into depths of Shadow Dragon H5

(an introduction and disclaimer, skip if you don't care, but don't ask me where chapter 4 is 5 years from now)
Hi, readers. I'm The Roger The Paladin. You may remember me from the comments section of every Saint Rubenio LP since Bizarro Sacae, and probably a half billion bad jokes in FFtF (wait a minute...) I've been talking about trying my hand at an LP lately. But as I was finding imgur ill-suited to mass uploads... I decided I needed to do a trial run of imgbox. Ergo, I'm doing a test run of a chapter or three (not decided, so final results may vary) of Shadow Dragon H5. Why so few? I don't think I can honestly make a full run of H5 without using conventional unit choices... which will bore the hell out of everyone. So I'm gonna just do some chapters that force conventional unit choices on everyone.... because rationality right? Anyway, after some discussion with an administrator of high Integrity, I was advised I could do my trial run either in FFtF, or in the Let's Play section if I was up front about the fact it's a prototype rather than a whole run. So I'm hedging my bets and putting it in FFtf with the disclaimer, which you just read.

Part 1- Come one, Come all, and welcome to the show.

Spoiler

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"After spending half an hour trying to touch the screen, I remembered I could just press start, and that is a design flaw, as Microsoft didn't think about customers playing on an emulator."-Chris Bores
Man I've always wanted to parody the Irate Gamer. But no one even remembers him anymore. Honestly I'd have probably been better off picking the name of some gaming journalist.pwFUiXXP_o.png
An illusion that I'd shatter like a mirror in the path of a hurtling anvil moments later when I made this decision.
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The continent of A. Next to the continent of B. The sad thing is this isn't even scrolling text. What was I thinking?
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Which I'm sure can't be worse than having a guy who doesn't normally play on H5 strategize for you. But I could be wrong.
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How unlikely is a blue haired character wielding an enchanted weapon at this stage? Because that literally describes Marth, Ike, Chrom, Lucina, Corrin if you use that hair colour, Byleth (kind of), Hector, Sigurd, Seliph, Priam assuming his Ragnell's not a fake (which would explain why he throws it instead of using sword beams), a ton of other units you could give legendary weapons who don't use legendary weapons normally, Zelgius if you're counting villains. I guess it was historically unlikely or something.
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Or if we narrow it down to young men from the Altea region with blue hair who START with a divine blade, then it's unlikely. I mean, usually these games keep the good weapons until later so the lord doesn't solo the game. Even Chrom, who has Falchion from the beginning, has a watered down Falchion that needs to be re-activated. Speaking of, Anyone notice in Anri's image, Falchion looks distinctly less like it does in Smash and more like it could be modified into what we know in Awakening? Especially if that red thing is blocking off the hole in the blade. Might need to give that game more credit for the redesign than I thought.
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I like how this makes it sound like Falchion wasn't a dragon's fang as well.
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Yep. But unfortunately, it didn't last... or else this game would be pretty dull.
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Just like Dracula in Castlevania, Medeus returns 100 years after his defeat to get his tail kicked by the descendant of his original killer. Then comes back a couple years later because he's learned nothing.
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What is a Gharnef? Just a miserable little pile of deception. But enough Castlevania references. Have at you.
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Funny thing when I think about it. Dracula meant "son of the Dragon" in Romania at the time. Mind these days it means "son of the Devil". Medeus is pretty close to either given he's the anti-thesis of Naga in Archanea. No insane conspiracies about that please.
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Well, that tends to happen. It's called night.
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Who, we already know is ill-fated, as everyone who has ever played Smash Bros knows the Prince of Altea is the protagonist here. Sorry Cornelius.
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Then again, I've seen what your anime counterpart was like... so I'm not sure how sorry I am.
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You know what they say. Love thy neighbor, but choose thy neighbor carefully lest they betray you and all humanity to Ridley's long-lost brother.
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Incidentally, what is Nyna even doing in these pictures? She gets captured in Akaenia in her castle later. Did they really think no one had played the Satteleview maps? Because they were probably right at the time. But then they undid themselves with New Mystery. Maybe that's why it never got a western release. So us stupid westerners didn't catch on to the error.
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In the prologue that doesn't exist in hard.... and seeing as I haven't patched this rom...
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Also the best cavalier in the game. But he's so good he survives being a sacrifice.
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Fun fact. I've always thought of the Akaneain Continent as Eurasia, with Talys as Japan. Because that's where Fire Emblem started. Call it meta. Not geographically accurate? Well screw you, this is my lunacy. Don't ruin it for me.
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I like how Gordin is, by default in this image. Even though he could technically be dead from the prologue. Not that I could ever do that to him.
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A border kingdom implicates it's nestled between two larger kingdoms... when it's an island. Unless Atlantis and Lemuria's Archanean equivalents are on either side of it, that makes little sense.
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I mean, it's not like their non-existent army was using it. Which begs the question... why have fortresses if you don't have an army? You're just asking to have enemies set up on your land.
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"Don't fight for your friends. Have your friends fight for you. You'll live longer".
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Or maybe he's warning him not to go down the Fates route. That's pretty solid too.
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Or he could just be telling him to bide his time, train, and prepare.
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"Manaketes are a supersticious and cowardly lot."
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How'd they protect him exactly? I mean, I'm pretty sure Medeus was busy elsewhere. By which I mean sitting in his castle while his army did the work.
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Anyway, seeing as I took so many screenshots already, I skipped the shots of pirates showing up and Caeda flying in.
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And apparently the dialogue about what happened. But I did want to showcase Marth breaking the "repeat everything as questions so the player doesn't feel ignorant" protocal lords like to follow. Instead he reacts like a real person... by replying with reassurance.
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Followed by insulting the pirates. See, this is one of the reasons I love this game. We just dodged questions like "pirates?", "invaded?" and "captured the king?". All because the writers actually didn't act like the player has a gnat's attention span.
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So for our first move, I see if I'm Abel to chip damage the thief with the original green cavalier.
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I screwed up, pressed print screen instead of f12, then pressed f12. We got the hit at no risk of retaliation.
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Caeda unleashes a second hit, while taking a four damage counter. Leaving you to wonder why I'd use a pegasus knight to attack instead of Cain.
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And here's that reason. The thief doubles Cain, who would have been just shy of being able to kill him.
But now the rules have changed, and if Cain doesn't miss, he takes no damage.
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Which, in my first action screenshot of the LP, is the case. Thanks red cav.
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Meanwhile, Marth visits the village.
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Yes. Wouldn't want you guys getting wrecked like that other village. Wonder what they had...
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Well, this is enough to get the ball rolling. Seeing as he was so direct, I flat ignored the pop-up.
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I like how this guy almost looks like he's got a dagger to his back. Is Marth blackmailing him? Actually, he'd be watching Jagen from that position. Hmm...
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Well you could tell me if you get your mustache done at the same place as Hardin.... oh weapons. Well Marcus buys a couple javelins (one for himself, one for Caeda), and an iron lance so as to not waste the silver one's uses. Because we're gonna need that for emergencies and bosses.
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And speaking of Caeda, she uses that Eastern fort Marth borrowed to heal. Thanks King Talys. Your gift is very fortuitous for me.
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Marcus delivers a javelin to Caeda while she fortifies her defenses.
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Abel picks up an Iron Lance that won't be necessary for a while, but will eventually be useful.
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Positions before ending the turn, because I want to make use of the fort when the pirates approach, because it would be unfortunate if I let it go to waste.
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Jagen takes point, because I totally forgot that these guys can't double Draug yet. Ooops.
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Then again, maybe that was an okay mistake to make. Draug would never have dodged that.
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Plus 100% hitrate was nice too.
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Even though Gordin gets flak for his growths... here he's invaluable. You may have noted that 1% crit chance on Jagen when the pirate attacked him? Yeah... everyone's at constant risk of crits here (well not Marth or Caeda, but anyway). So being able to attack from a safe distance is imperative.
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10 points for Gordin. (also 10 exp).
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And Caeda, with a mere 3 percent, unleashes the first crit of the run. Mind I was going to give that kill to Marth... but I'll take this.
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Formation starting enemy phase... which is when, you see I finally realized Draug was safe from doubling.
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Resulting in this trade, which he arguably got the better side of. Weapon triangle be damned.
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And here we see why I put Draug up top and Jagen at bottom. It split the enemy attack because while they could have both attacked Jagen's position, only one could attack Draug who took priority because of the weapon triangle/hit-rate/etc. Could say I used my knight to Drawg enemy fire.
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The pirate now gets to feel what fighting fire with fire is, as Gordin unleashes an arrow in his general direction. Shame it didn't have a tip. Dammit Gordin, you could have killed him if you were using real equipment. This isn't the time to go Racquel on us.
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I'm unAbel to get in a lucky shot with my Javelin... which is not good, as there's three pirates in range and if two are alive at the end of this turn I'm gonna lose someone. But I have a plan. An emergency brake if you will. Besides I've got enough units to finish these two.
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This isn't the emergency brake, just a lucky break. Now Marth can make up for that kill he missed earlier.
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Just in case you're wondering, Caeda dropped him to 2, he was at 9 from Gordin after Draug left him at 18. I kept screenshotting mid HP drop. You can go back and check if you. Start with Draug. Abel attacked the guy fighting Jagen. Anyway, this move was totally safe for Marth, which leaves one guy who needs to go.
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Luck's on my side.
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Seriously, if that was a crit, I'd have just lost Draug.
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Jagen lives up to his role, and lowers this guy to 1 so Cain can safely do something.
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Cain helps him re-equip that sword in return. Because last thing I need is weapon triangle disadvantage now.
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And 1 hp, 100% hit... yep. This guy's in for a Caining.
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And of course, this pirate attacks Jagen... as anticipated (I deliberately had everyone else out of range). So that trade was definitely needed.
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Reading this, I just realized I could have lost Jagen and the map could have been doomed there. This mode is called Merciless, but that's definitely mercy.
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Seriously, I'm glad the only one taking advantage of low percent crits is Caeda. I don't know what I'd do if the enemy landed a crit.
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Gordin disappints me by missing, at a time when I can scant afford it. More pirates arriving and Jagen and Draug are both half dead.
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Caeda does the same. Not good. Not one bit.
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Abel has also missed. My options for an attack without retaliation have been exhausted.
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At this point, I decide Marth's my safest bet... as strange as it is. If I put him on the fort, he's not being done in, either this phase or enemy phase, as he's just got enough hp and defense, he can't be hit with a crit, and he can't be doubled and the other enemies can't reach him. He's also got a chance of dodging higher than Cain's.
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Well, Marth didn't dodge, but his risk of dying is minimal.
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Cain does some more damage.
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Then defies my expectations by dodging a 73%... causing me to mess up the timing on the screenshot.
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Draug deletes the guy. Congrats chapter 1 pirate. You literally took all my units to kill. You may also notice, I moved Jagen to do this, because I need those pirates to split again or they'll kill him.
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Draug takes the first attack, and seeing as the other one can't reach him, he's going for Jagen. So both live.
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Barely. I tell you what, we're lucky that Caeda's the only one critting. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone else critted. But that's crazy.
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Unlike Draug, Jagen does successfully retaliate.
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We're in a real bad spot with neither Jagen or Draug capable of taking another hit. But Gordin disappoints me anyway by adding to it. That's what? Three in a row? Are you trying to get benched? Do you mock my strategy? Do you think the bench is the safest place? I'll show you.
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Abel proves himself a better shot than our other green haired companion, hitting in spite of his WTA handicap.
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It's at this point I'm desperate. I can't lose Jagen or this is done. Knowing Caeda can't be hit with a crit, and has a higher hit chance (plus a higher crit chance) at one range, I use her at 1 range. This puts her in dange, because another attack will see me getting the bad ending and missing a ton of units. Oh, and she doubles... so you know, now I have a hope in hell of killing both these guys before they do something I'll need Aum to fix.
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Even though Draug can't do a physical attack safely, he can borrow Jagen's Javelin and miss... in the process clearing the way for someone else to finish his assailant. Someone with a hit-rate who won't die if they miss.
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Like Marth... who can't miss. One guy to go, but just Jagen and Cain to do him in with. Remember that emergency brake? Yep. It's time.
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First Cain makes the pirate taste the pain, but he Cain't dodge the attack.(I know how Cain is pronounced. He's just getting jealous of the Abel puns and I don't need a bible re-run)
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So, Cain gets his first level (which hopefully keeps him away from inventing a crime). It's got speed, HP and a couple things I'd usually not care for but in H5 I'll take. I mean, extra hit, avoid and crit avoid are always welcome when everything crits.
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Yep. Here's that emergency brake. I'm breaking out the silver lance. Cutting it close, but it's worked as planned.
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Jagen moves to the fort, because we need to heal up for the rest of the map. He also re-equips that sword so I don't forget later.
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While working on healing everyone, I take the opportunity to show where we are. 7 pirates. 7 of us. If they weren't blatantly superior, this'd be even odds. Seriously, if the king didn't have those random forts despite not having an army to use them, we'd be screwed. Maybe he was wiser than I thought.
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While Draug's healing and Caeda waits her turn, I start visiting houses. This depressed looking guy gives us some advice that might be better on lower difficulties. I'm afraid here, as soon as the enemies start doubling him, Draug becomes a liability. They already have no trouble bypassing his defences, and a crit from a doubling enemy would flat kill him.
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When you realize this guy used to be Talys' tactician before he reclassed their whole army to knights despite living in H5 difficulty. We now know why Talys has forts and no army.
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This guy basically explains that you need to know how to use a weapon to use it. Or at least that's what it'd be in universe.
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He also gives some good advice that everyone should follow. EVERYONE.
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This guy is depressed because he has the most pointless advice of the lot. He literally tells you something that you saw at the start of the chapter. Thankfully, Marth isn't Roy or Eliwood, so we don't have to listen to him question it so we can find out for a third time.
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Look at the turns piling up. Marth Embarks. More like Marth doesn't Embark, because this chapter's taking forever.
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Draug's healed at least. Caeda's going to heal then pick up another Javelin and a spare iron sword.
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Uh... yeah, apparently i took a screenshot of that.
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I couldn't decide whether to go with Jagen or Draug to bait. So I decided the answer was both.
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Seriously, did that just happen?
What happened to my "Caeda's the only one who can crit rule?
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Well, I was lucky here. Draug had just healed. Had he taken 1 attack before this, he'd be dead. As in dead as this pirate's gonna be once I finish gangbashing him with my whole team, a process Draug starts.
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Gordin gets another 10 points.
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Abel continues to have a surprisingly good hit/miss ratio against axe users with his Javelin (that is he's hit with it more than once). Notice he's not used that sword once. That instant access to Javelins alone makes him better than Cain. (Please don't kill him Cain, you're better next game)
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Anyway, Marth finishes the job seeing as he's got no way to flub it and needs the exp more than Cain.
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You could really do with strength and defense. Come to think of it, how's your hitrate so high with three skill?
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Jagen picks up his extra new Javelin so Draug can keep the other one.
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We set up to lure another pirate.
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Usual results.
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I screw up another Gordin screenshot going for the prtsc key.
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Abel Jagens.
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Caeda finishes. Spot the mistake.
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Jokes on you, there was none. There's a reason she used the javelin. Just like Jagen will.
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Three crit's the most we've seen yet. Thankfully Jagen wasn't going to die even if it did go bad. Worst case scenario would have been him healing longer before the next segment.
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Caeda now demonstrates her disregard for the advice of men who tell you that you need to know how to use a weapon to wield it, by attacking an archer.
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And profits from it. Hey... that level looks just like Cain's.
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Abel uses that Iron Lance I gave bought to guarantee Caeda's continued life (and my continued sanity).
Anyway, a couple turns of healing on the central fort and advancing later...
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I realize at this point this is no LTC.
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Also Jagen's still healing from his time as a lure. But it's okay because he can catch up fast.
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Also the pirates are now on the move. So I've moved Cain accordingly.
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Another turn of pirate movement... well I better adapt my formation.
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There. I told you Jagen would catch up as needed. Hence why Draug healed and advanced first.
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Cain and Abel are the targets of the pirates, allowing Abel to finally use that sword. And put it to use he does, dodging. Notice they both have 0 chance of being hit with a crit. There's no way for this one to go bad.
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Gordin takes aim at one pirate while Draug and Cain finish the other.
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Caeda on the other hand, conserves a weapon use and crits. No one tell her I was using her as a member tag ironically to go with the whole "Roger" being infatuated with her thing. I don't want her to stop this.
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Jagen baits an enemy again. You know, that thing that's been half the chapter's combat.
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Gordin Chips again. You know... the thing that's been a fifth of the chapter's combat.
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Here's a different move for you. Marth Jagens for Abel. Who attacks with his sword on player phase. The horror.
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That's four level ups this chapter... and not one point of strength or defense between them. What gives?
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31 turns. Jagen is healing up on the fort. Marth will find a friend, then heal. Draug will visit some houses. Everyone else gets into postion.
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I already am Wrys. I already am.
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Some foreshadowing of next chapter. Nothing funny to say about this.
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This lady's a turn late and a dollar short.

Now then... the Boss. To illustrate, I'll show you my options against him (or at least a few of them)
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Okay... let's start off with Gordin. He can either do two damage at a 64% hit rate (the best we'll get hit rate wise) or 5 damage at 54% hit rate. Either one's a bad hit rate with little damage on a guy who's healing every turn. Next are Jagen and Abel. Barring a point of damage, hit and crit for Jagen, they're identical. 4/5 damage and 38/39% hit. He's gonna dodge that like crazy, and if it's the only thing that hits in a turn, just like with Gordin's options it'll be undone. Next we have Caeda. A mere 2 damage and 41 hit. She'll have more chance of hitting, and if someone else hits it'll help wear him down. Draug is last and possibly least. Sure, the 5 damage is as good as anyone. The 1 crit's equal to Gordin... but that 32 hit is pathetic.. There's no way he's going to achieve a thing. It's a joke. Mind I'm having all of them bombard him every turn (save Jagen who will occassionally let him attack at one range to get in some real damage, then switch back to bombarding while Wrys heals him) in an effort to wear him down.

Because as you can see Cain will be one rounded, and Marth can survive with exactly 1 hp in exchange for doing 2 damage. This makes Cain useless in this fight, and Marth close to. Everyone else will be working hard though. Even if they achieve nothing. Which is likely. I feel like I'm about to fight Henning. The guy's flat better than my team.

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And the bastard knows it too. Shame he didnt think to bring a hand-axe. Also he's already dodged. What a start.
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Our green buddy is Abel to take the first successful shot. Shame it gets cancelled out enemy phase.
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So we start off wearing him down a combination of bombardment, allowing him to attack on enemy phase and retreating to heal, and Gordin levelling up. He, like everyone else fails to get strength or defense. Also Draug's just flat missing every shot. May as well be Cain for all the good he's doing.
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I take a real risk and allow him to attack Jagen while the Silver Lance is out. It pays off. Jagen hits and doesn't eat a crit.
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After way too many turns of back and forth, Caeda scores a crit. Seriously, that's what, 3 this chapter? Now I just need one solid hit (or two to three small ones) to finish him.
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Here's the part where I die laughing (and Gazzak dies). Remember how I said Draug wasn't going to get a single hit in? He not only scored that hit, but he scored a goddamn crit. I was so busy laughing, I didn't even think about getting Gazzak's death quote. ( “Rrgh... Ye'll pay, dog...”). Anyway, this means Draug gets a level (meaning only Wrys and Jagen missed out on levelling this time, and Wrys was deliberately under-used to preserve his staff). Surely we're getting some strength and defense now?
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Nope. That critical hit exausted Draug's luck. Sigh. Six levels and no strength or defense.
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You're welcome Santa Claus.
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He's kidding right? My guys could have died to those pirates easily. I'm just lucky A.I.'s dumb and the only time they got a crit I was ready for it.
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Why do you have soldiers when you don't have an army? Were you hiding them from the world's greatest tactician back there?
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I don't know. Ogma has luck problems... he's gonna be in danger of crits.. and Bord's speed growth is literally 10%. Though I guess that makes Ogma all the braver for siding with me in H5.
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Or at least to Caeda. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.
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Don't put pressure like that on me... this is a prototype. I don't want to commit.
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Look, no I'm not starting you now. Don't pressure me.

Anyway, that's my first attempt at this out of the way. My first test run of imgbox, and my first stab at H5 (no really). Hopefully someone out there enjoys it despite my dodgey screenshots. Until next time, may critical hits be solely in your favour.

Deaths: Nil.
Crit Counter:
Caeda:3
Draug:1
Generic enemy:1

 

Edited by The Roger The Paladin
Had marcus on the brain
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10 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Well, that tends to happen. It's called night.

pfft lol.

15 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Could say I used my knight to Drawg enemy fire.

nice one

 

20 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Caeda finishes. Spot the mistake.

the hunter can shoot Caeda?

 

21 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Jokes on you, there was none. There's a reason she used the javelin. Just like Jagen will.

fak, that was good.

 

29 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Nope. That critical hit exausted Draug's luck. Sigh. Six levels and no strength or defense.

on the flipside, does this mean he barely avoids being doubled next chapter? maybe that 1 HP gets him out of 2RKO range even if they double... also Skl is appreciated (slightly but still) for hitrates no?

31 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

You may remember me from the comments section of every Saint Rubenio LP since Bizarro Sacae

OOOOOOOOH IT's thaT GUY!!!1!



Are screenshot LPs on the rise once again? I even did mine ages ago but after Rubenio, Benice started his LP, the FE6 sucession ironman and now even you... what a time to be alive.

If I have one complaint is to please put multiple screenshots horizontally because otherwise it's so annoying to keep scrolling up just because I quoted one thing, that's all

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6 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I'm The Roger The Paladin.

Missed opportunity to just put this here.

1487139839_theroger.png.e602b05af6d21d6a

9 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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In the prologue that doesn't exist in hard.... and seeing as I haven't patched this rom...

A mistake. The prologue is, like, the most awesome part of Shadow Dragon.

10 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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I like how Gordin is, by default in this image. Even though he could technically be dead from the prologue. Not that I could ever do that to him.

I usually sacrifice whichever of Cain/Abel/Frey I'm not really using. Except for the odd run when I'm using all three, then Gaggles bites it.

11 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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I mean, it's not like their non-existent army was using it. Which begs the question... why have fortresses if you don't have an army? You're just asking to have enemies set up on your land.

Fear is a great motivator. Or in this case, a great demotivator for an invasion. Fort's mostly a scarecrow. That is, until the pirates realized that they could just swim up to the castle and waltz right in without coming near the fort.

13 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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And apparently the dialogue about what happened. But I did want to showcase Marth breaking the "repeat everything as questions so the player doesn't feel ignorant" protocal lords like to follow. Instead he reacts like a real person... by replying with reassurance.

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Followed by insulting the pirates.

That's because Shadow Dragon Marth is wonderful. Oh, but that's right, SD's story sucks because muh supports.

15 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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So what is this? A darkbang?

17 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Seriously, I'm glad the only one taking advantage of low percent crits is Caeda. I don't know what I'd do if the enemy landed a crit.

You die. That's the H5 earlygame in a nutshel. Seriously, all the enemies having crit on chapter 1 isn't very good design. But I'll take it above a snoozefest of a game. Lookin' at you, Path of Borence.

19 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

That's what? Three in a row?

This does not bode well for your potential LPing career.

22 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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When you realize this guy used to be Talys' tactician before he reclassed their whole army to knights despite living in H5 difficulty. We now know why Talys has forts and no army.

This is canon now, and nobody can convince me otherwise.

23 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Thankfully, Marth isn't Roy or Eliwood, so we don't have to listen to him question it so we can find out for a third time.

No, instead, Marth leads an army that is so socially awkward that only he can visit villages. Which, to be honest, makes more sense and adds to the uniqueness of the lord. But still, when you have to, for example, send Marth the completely opposite way to recruit Bantu in a map with an effective turn limit of 8... yeah. Not fun.

25 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Abel continues to have a surprisingly good hit/miss ratio against axe users with his Javelin (that is he's hit with it more than once). Notice he's not used that sword once. That instant access to Javelins alone makes him better than Cain. (Please don't kill him Cain, you're better next game)

Poor Abel suffers from FE12 Prepromotitis. One of the leading causes of death in Archanea.

27 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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And profits from it. Hey... that level looks just like Cain's.

Caeda/10. Come back when you're a little, mmmm stronger!

27 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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That's a hilarious Draug frame. He looks like he really needs to crap.

28 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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I already am Wrys. I already am.

Ah, yes. The true protagonist of this game.

29 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I feel like I'm about to fight Henning.

Hah! Nah, not really. This guy's more like Legance: still bullshit, but doable to an extent.

Now, Hyman, on the other hand... Hyman's the real Henning.

32 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Here's the part where I die laughing (and Gazzak dies). Remember how I said Draug wasn't going to get a single hit in? He not only scored that hit, but he scored a goddamn crit. I was so busy laughing, I didn't even think about getting Gazzak's death quote. ( “Rrgh... Ye'll pay, dog...”). Anyway, this means Draug gets a level (meaning only Wrys and Jagen missed out on levelling this time, and Wrys was deliberately under-used to preserve his staff). Surely we're getting some strength and defense now?

This is not something I was expecting to see today.

32 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Nope. That critical hit exausted Draug's luck. Sigh. Six levels and no strength or defense.

This is the game's attempt to tell you that Draug's calling isn't the way of the armor knight. Make him a hunter, post-haste!

33 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Or at least to Caeda. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.

Friggin' Caeda, man. Makes me wonder if ol' Mostyn (That's his actual name) knows what sort of a monster his daughter is.

34 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Hopefully someone out there enjoys it despite my dodgey screenshots. Until next time, may critical hits be solely in your favour.

It was cool. Keep it up.

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1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Well, that tends to happen. It's called night.

Wait a second here...

1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

And 1 hp, 100% hit... yep. This guy's in for a Caining.

Gah! Arg! Urk! I Cainnot believe you did that!

1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I don't want her to stop this.

That's what Roger said.

1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Some foreshadowing of next chapter. Nothing funny to say about this.
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This lady's a turn late and a dollar short.

Jeez, this person's having a party tonight. Check out that huge bottle of wine!

1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Nope. That critical hit exausted Draug's luck. Sigh. Six levels and no strength or defense.
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You're welcome Santa Claus.

That's an awesome name Caeda's pap has.

1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

an introduction and disclaimer, skip if you don't care, but don't ask me where chapter 4 is 5 years from now)
Hi, readers. I'm The Roger The Paladin. You may remember me from the comments section of every Saint Rubenio LP since Bizarro Sacae, and probably a half billion bad jokes in FFtF (wait a minute...) I've been talking about trying my hand at an LP lately. But as I was finding imgur ill-suited to mass uploads... I decided I needed to do a trial run of imgbox. Ergo, I'm doing a test run of a chapter or three (not decided, so final results may vary) of Shadow Dragon H5. Why so few? I don't think I can honestly make a full run of H5 without using conventional unit choices... which will bore the hell out of everyone. So I'm gonna just do some chapters that force conventional unit choices on everyone.... because rationality right? Anyway, after some discussion with an administrator of high Integrity, I was advised I could do my trial run either in FFtF, or in the Let's Play section if I was up front about the fact it's a prototype rather than a whole run. So I'm hedging my bets and putting it in FFtf with the disclaimer, which you just read.

Eyy! Yay! I've been waiting for this!

EDIT:

Quote

Are screenshot LPs on the rise once again? I even did mine ages ago but after Rubenio, Benice started his LP, the FE6 sucession ironman and now even you... what a time to be alive.

One does not call a run in which Serra dies a good thing.

ANOTHER EDIT: Dang, Marcus is looking pretty good in FE11

Also, have you considered dropbox? It worked pretty good for me.

I sorta have switched to Imgur, but because it's weird, I have to upload the text and battle in different sections.

Edited by Benice
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21 minutes ago, JimmyBeans said:

Man this is great! FE11 content is hard to come by these days but it is always awesome when it comes around. 

*cries in sig*

I'll add FFtF as "testing forum" in the future.  As for you, TC. . .good luck.  Have fun resetting.  You'll need it.

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2 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Ridley's long-lost brother.

Obscure ass manga reference. S&J was a fun little read. 

Also good luck, I expect you'll be putting me to work if you intend to get any of the gaiden units. 

 

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10 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:


Man I've always wanted to parody the Irate Gamer. But no one even remembers him anymore. Honestly I'd have probably been better off picking the name of some gaming journalist.

I mean the Irate Gamer was following in the footsteps of the Angry Video Game Nerd, and the original outlasted him.

 

10 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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The continent of A. Next to the continent of B. The sad thing is this isn't even scrolling text. What was I thinking?

These sorta things happen when you are first testing things, as you start figuring out how often you want to take screen shots. Although to be fair this is early enough in the game that it would be easy enough to start a new game and grab some extra screen shots of the story to fix things like this.

 

10 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Or if we narrow it down to young men from the Altea region with blue hair who START with a divine blade, then it's unlikely. I mean, usually these games keep the good weapons until later so the lord doesn't solo the game.

As New Mystery's story hints, Anri didn't start with the Falchion, he had to travel north and pass the trials of Anri's road to get it.

 

10 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Just like Dracula in Castlevania, Medeus returns 100 years after his defeat to get his tail kicked by the descendant of his original killer. Then comes back a couple years later because he's learned nothing.
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What is a Gharnef? Just a miserable little pile of deception. But enough Castlevania references. Have at you.
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Funny thing when I think about it. Dracula meant "son of the Dragon" in Romania at the time. Mind these days it means "son of the Devil". Medeus is pretty close to either given he's the anti-thesis of Naga in Archanea. No insane conspiracies about that please.

I am kinda loving all the Castlevania comparisons and references.

 

10 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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How'd they protect him exactly? I mean, I'm pretty sure Medeus was busy elsewhere. By which I mean sitting in his castle while his army did the work.

Protection through obscurity. Nobody other than pirates would ever bother with such a backwater as Talys.

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Well you could tell me if you get your mustache done at the same place as Hardin.... oh weapons. Well Marcus buys a couple javelins (one for himself, one for Caeda), and an iron lance so as to not waste the silver one's uses. Because we're gonna need that for emergencies and bosses.

I will say that the Wing Spear is better to save than the Silver Lance

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Even though Gordin gets flak for his growths... here he's invaluable. You may have noted that 1% crit chance on Jagen when the pirate attacked him? Yeah... everyone's at constant risk of crits here (well not Marth or Caeda, but anyway). So being able to attack from a safe distance is imperative.

Archers get insulted a lot, but when the game is hard, and you need to player phase, they are incredibly useful for that chip. Also I seem to remember Jagen having noticeably worse Luck than the rest of the crew making him the most prone to crits.

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Seriously, if that was a crit, I'd have just lost Draug.

Oh Draug also starts at the Luck of Jagen. This game really hates you being safe by making the two units with the best defense prone to early crits.

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Well, I was lucky here. Draug had just healed. Had he taken 1 attack before this, he'd be dead. As in dead as this pirate's gonna be once I finish gangbashing him with my whole team, a process Draug starts.

...Thank goodness he just healed...

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Caeda on the other hand, conserves a weapon use and crits. No one tell her I was using her as a member tag ironically to go with the whole "Roger" being infatuated with her thing. I don't want her to stop this.

That's rather clever (and would have gone over my head until you pointed it out)

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:


Now then... the Boss. To illustrate, I'll show you my options against him (or at least a few of them)

At least you don't have to break THIS boss's 1-2 range weapon to beat him...ugh FE11 early-game is rough on the higher difficulties.

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Nope. That critical hit exausted Draug's luck. Sigh. Six levels and no strength or defense.

...oof, hopefully this runs strength/defense curse breaks soon.

 

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Why do you have soldiers when you don't have an army? Were you hiding them from the world's greatest tactician back there?

Made the choice to hire mercenaries instead of maintaining and raising an army. The old Carthaginian as opposed to Roman style of warfare (at least in the first Punic war...)

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I'll exclusively refer to units weakening enemies for other units to kill as "Jagening" from now on. That is freaking genius.
No Strength/Defense level-ups... oof. That doesn't bode well. Hopefully you'll break the curse soon!

This was pretty entertaining! I wouldn't mind seeing more of it.

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Part 2- Shutting down Pirate's Bay
 

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Spoiler
On 5/13/2020 at 3:46 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

pfft lol.
404 Witty reply to comment not found

nice one
Thank you.

the hunter can shoot Caeda?

 

fak, that was good.

It's been bouncing around in my head every time I saw "spot the mistake" in an LP, "what if there was no mistake and the LPer just said it to mess with everyone?" So I saw my opportunity, even played up that advice about archers and pegasus knights a little more. Just for a throwaway joke.

on the flipside, does this mean he barely avoids being doubled next chapter? maybe that 1 HP gets him out of 2RKO range even if they double... also Skl is appreciated (slightly but still) for hitrates no?
I wish. Poor guy's just off being one rounded by generic pirates. He's still got his uses... as you'll see.

OOOOOOOOH IT's thaT GUY!!!1!
I love how my most famous aspect is probably writing lyrics on Ruben's LPs, and now I'm playing a game I've done zero for myself.


Are screenshot LPs on the rise once again? I even did mine ages ago but after Rubenio, Benice started his LP, the FE6 sucession ironman and now even you... what a time to be alive.
This is officially more of a test run for an actual screenshot LP.. but lord knows I'm enjoying it more than expected. Apart from bosses taking forever.

If I have one complaint is to please put multiple screenshots horizontally because otherwise it's so annoying to keep scrolling up just because I quoted one thing, that's all
I increasingly noticed this myself, so I'm going to try to adapt my commentary to lines of screenshots instead of one character's combat. Who'd have thunk the format I used for replies was so flawed once it became the main feature of a thread.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 3:50 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Missed opportunity to just put this here.

1487139839_theroger.png.e602b05af6d21d6a
Very much. It sums up who I am so perfectly, that it really, really, should be there.

A mistake. The prologue is, like, the most awesome part of Shadow Dragon.
The catch is, I mostly emulated this game in the brief window between me finding a copy of Shadow Dragon and me first getting into the series. Meaning not long enough for me to get through a full run. So, basically, I'm lucky to even have this set up.

I usually sacrifice whichever of Cain/Abel/Frey I'm not really using. Except for the odd run when I'm using all three, then Gaggles bites it.
I always only use two of the three (or less), so you can basically guess my methodology.

Fear is a great motivator. Or in this case, a great demotivator for an invasion. Fort's mostly a scarecrow. That is, until the pirates realized that they could just swim up to the castle and waltz right in without coming near the fort.
I still like my explanation that they had an army and a bad tactician, and the guy extolling the virtues of knights gave me a perfect suspect.

That's because Shadow Dragon Marth is wonderful. Oh, but that's right, SD's story sucks because muh supports.
The thing is, supports are all good and well for building characters, but I think that a story should be able to stand on it's own with or without the supports. Maybe individual characters are fine having aspects hidden behind them, but the most crucial ones to the story should have their key aspects explored in the story. (By which I mean anything that drives the story).

So what is this? A darkbang?
A blackout bomb. Doctor Midnite used to use them a lot in All-American Comics, because his eyesight only worked in the dark. He had fancy goggles to see at other times, and was basically Batman other than that. Except with an owl.

You die. That's the H5 earlygame in a nutshel. Seriously, all the enemies having crit on chapter 1 isn't very good design. But I'll take it above a snoozefest of a game. Lookin' at you, Path of Borence.
Low percent criticals. Everyone's enemy.

This does not bode well for your potential LPing career.
Don't even get me started on RNG after this map. It can die in a hole.

This is canon now, and nobody can convince me otherwise.
See? The Legendary Tactician of Talys. Not even wise enough to get off the island, he settled on moving to the far side of it.

No, instead, Marth leads an army that is so socially awkward that only he can visit villages. Which, to be honest, makes more sense and adds to the uniqueness of the lord. But still, when you have to, for example, send Marth the completely opposite way to recruit Bantu in a map with an effective turn limit of 8... yeah. Not fun.
Maybe that's why no one has supports. They're all socially awkward. Marth and Caeda are about the only ones in the army who can start a conversation.

Poor Abel suffers from FE12 Prepromotitis. One of the leading causes of death in Archanea.
Besides being in an LP. (Which this officially isn't, but it's kind of close)

Caeda/10. Come back when you're a little, mmmm stronger!
Well, about that...

That's a hilarious Draug frame. He looks like he really needs to crap.
Well, he's in an awkward situation. I know how long it takes to remove a suit of armor, and mine's not even close to as bulky as his.

Ah, yes. The true protagonist of this game.
Wrys is the true protagonist of Fire Emblem.

Hah! Nah, not really. This guy's more like Legance: still bullshit, but doable to an extent.

Now, Hyman, on the other hand... Hyman's the real Henning.
True. Henning would have been hitting back the whole time. Chapter 3 boss... man someone was Hy when they designed him.

This is not something I was expecting to see today.
If anyone did, they're either insane or clairvoyant

This is the game's attempt to tell you that Draug's calling isn't the way of the armor knight. Make him a hunter, post-haste!
I don't think anyone's calling is the way of the armor knight in H5. I mean... not if they want to live. That said, out-sniping Gordin with a damn Javelin and 32 hit was amazing.

Friggin' Caeda, man. Makes me wonder if ol' Mostyn (That's his actual name) knows what sort of a monster his daughter is.
I don't think Marth knows what sort of monster Caeda is.

It was cool. Keep it up.
I'll try.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 3:52 AM, Benice said:

Wait a second here...
Second's over. Onto the next response.

Gah! Arg! Urk! I Cainnot believe you did that!
If I don't pun my own work, who Wil?

That's what Roger said.
I mean, when you consider I said it, and my username is literally "The Roger The Paladin"... I guess.

Jeez, this person's having a party tonight. Check out that huge bottle of wine!
Alas, alcoholism is common in Archanea as a coping mechanism to make up for the fact that they have a continent wide war spurred by a dragon and an evil sorcerer going on.

That's an awesome name Caeda's pap has.
His real one or my nickname for him?

Eyy! Yay! I've been waiting for this!

EDIT:

One does not call a run in which Serra dies a good thing.

ANOTHER EDIT: Dang, Marcus is looking pretty good in FE11
It shows I have a problem when I kept thinking of Jagen as "Marcus" for no reason. Maybe it's because Ruben kept saying about Marcus Jagening in FE6, and now Jagen is Marcusing to even it out.

Also, have you considered dropbox? It worked pretty good for me.
Imgbox has worked out fine, given it's worked for my first (and by the time you see this, presumably my second) upload.

I sorta have switched to Imgur, but because it's weird, I have to upload the text and battle in different sections.

On 5/13/2020 at 4:01 AM, JimmyBeans said:

Man this is great! FE11 content is hard to come by these days but it is always awesome when it comes around. 
This is an amazing coincidence, but while I was waiting for the screenshots to finish uploading to imgbox, I happened to have a look for other playthroughs on H5. I came across your PMU from a while back. I'm hoping I don't disappoint you too much, given I'm not liable to play on the same level.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 4:23 AM, eclipse said:

*cries in sig*

I'll add FFtF as "testing forum" in the future.  As for you, TC. . .good luck.  Have fun resetting.  You'll need it.

Oh yeah... the boss on chapter three's kind of cruel even on the lower difficulties. I can't imagine him being anything less than agonizing when the generics are like this.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 6:05 AM, Pengaius said:

Obscure ass manga reference. S&J was a fun little read. 

Also good luck, I expect you'll be putting me to work if you intend to get any of the gaiden units. 

I'm afraid it's so obscure that even I'm not sure what you mean. I was just going for an arbitrary Metroid reference... because back when I was Mad Manakete I'd always get Ridley jokes.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 3:19 PM, Eltosian Kadath said:

I mean the Irate Gamer was following in the footsteps of the Angry Video Game Nerd, and the original outlasted him.

Not even going into the Third Rate Gamer and the countless other parodies of the Irate Gamer, who all were outlasted by the Irate Gamer himself.

These sorta things happen when you are first testing things, as you start figuring out how often you want to take screen shots. Although to be fair this is early enough in the game that it would be easy enough to start a new game and grab some extra screen shots of the story to fix things like this.

Yeah... but to be fair, everyone knew it said Archanea, and I saw the chance for a joke.

As New Mystery's story hints, Anri didn't start with the Falchion, he had to travel north and pass the trials of Anri's road to get it.

I'm gonna admit my memory got messed up on the order of events there. But... that happens.

I am kinda loving all the Castlevania comparisons and references.

Much like the AVGN, I'm infamously prone to referencing Castlevania.

Protection through obscurity. Nobody other than pirates would ever bother with such a backwater as Talys.

But my question was how the people provided that protection, when they didn't really do anything to make Talys obscure.

I will say that the Wing Spear is better to save than the Silver Lance

Probably is. But I figured Caeda was going to be doing more two range combat than one range due to her hp deficiencies.

Archers get insulted a lot, but when the game is hard, and you need to player phase, they are incredibly useful for that chip. Also I seem to remember Jagen having noticeably worse Luck than the rest of the crew making him the most prone to crits.

I've increasingly noticed. Draug also has 1 luck. Abel has a starting luck of 2. So, basically the game plays the nice trick of making you choose between being done in two shots, or potentially done in two shots. Hence striking from safety as much as possible becomes imperative

Oh Draug also starts at the Luck of Jagen. This game really hates you being safe by making the two units with the best defense prone to early crits.

I should have saved myself typing that up by reading an extra line.

...Thank goodness he just healed...

Tell me about it. Instead of being pissed off that I got hit with a 1% crit, I was just smiling and thinking "that was the best time to take a 1% crit". Namely when it wasn't going to kill.

That's rather clever (and would have gone over my head until you pointed it out)

I'm not sure how many people honestly noticed... but when I was re-doing my profile during Ruben's TRS LP, it popped straight into my head. I mean, after looking for a Mel icon. She is The Roger's everything after all.

At least you don't have to break THIS boss's 1-2 range weapon to beat him...ugh FE11 early-game is rough on the higher difficulties.

Don't remind me.

...oof, hopefully this runs strength/defense curse breaks soon.

We shall see.

Made the choice to hire mercenaries instead of maintaining and raising an army. The old Carthaginian as opposed to Roman style of warfare (at least in the first Punic war...)
Mind, it's a matter of semantics how different the two are. I mean, you're still paying your army regardless. Then again you can't draft a mercenary. I guess it's not something I put much thought into... despite playing strategy games.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 6:14 PM, DragonFlames said:

I'll exclusively refer to units weakening enemies for other units to kill as "Jagening" from now on. That is freaking genius.
I completely stole that from Saint Rubenio's LPs (most likely his New Mystery one). I just assumed it was a communal terminology.
No Strength/Defense level-ups... oof. That doesn't bode well. Hopefully you'll break the curse soon!
We shall see... this update.
This was pretty entertaining! I wouldn't mind seeing more of it.
Well there's more.

placeholder text that I didn't forget to remove but left in as a joke whether or not you believe me

The update.

Spoiler

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Well, welcome back. Please ignore the fact I'm blatantly reusing the final screenshot of the last update.
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Guess history just flat forgot Talys. I mean, what's the difference between fighting pirates there and fighting pirates here? The fact Marth's intentionally advancing towards a goal now as opposed to reacting to an attack? Why must I answer my own rhetorical questions?
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The entire four mercenaries Talys employs to make up for their lack of an army arrives, and warns us that the guys with the enemy nations standard means to kill us. Which is a shame, because I hoped they were here to help clean up the pirates. Maybe they're privateers?
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Here's our new units, in an experiment with typical LP conventions. Don't get used to me doing this. I literally forget to by Darros. Who is literally right next to the starting position and could theoretically be recruited in the first enemy phase if he wouldn't die immediately.

Anyway, first we have Ogma... who as you can see has just enough luck to avoid being the victim of crits, and enough speed not to be doubled. He's also got enough weapon mastery to use steel swords so as to make up for his strength, Definitely going to be a mainstay for a bit.

Next up is Barst. Barst has our first double digit strength stat, enough speed not to be double even with that damn steel axe, more hp than average, as much defense as Ogma (not much), enough luck not to worry about crits. I wish his skill was better, because he's liable to miss.. but what can I do? Definitely a solid unit at this point in the game.

Now Bord and Cord... well Cord good. Bord Bad. Want more? Cord has speed, luck and skill advantages at base... all key to surviving on this difficulty. He's also got a speed growth that isn't 10%. Sure his weapon level's bad... but I don't think that's gonna matter. Because I'm more likely to use Barst than either of them. Plus the guy got to literally 8 defense at endgame last time I used him. So I don't trust him for this difficulty. Bord... Bord's speed growth is 10%. His base speed growth is 0%. That means he's got class growths for speed. Only Bantu manages to top that with his -10% modifier. Sure other units are tied for that 0%... including Darros. All the same, I've got my work cut out if I want to keep him alive. More so when he's got 1 luck. (I can't believe I actually care about luck on this difficulty)
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First thing's first. I'm emptying Bord's weapons into Barst's hands. Why? The iron axe's hit-rate will be a salve on the wound that is Barst's hitrate. A wound we don't want to become a terminal infection when the bacteria that are the enemy are at hand.
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Now I draw your attention to this bastard. He's just got the AS to double Draug, and with 20 might, he's three hp off one rounding him. But no, that's not all. He's got enough crit to allow potential crits on both Jagen and Draug. So I'm not using either one of them for fear of a crit. After carefully checking the hunter's range... I move..
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Ogma (and Marth to Ogma's original position, as the pirate would double Cain or Abel, and potentially insta-kill Jagen with a 1% crit). Hence Marth's my best option right now. Anyway, Caeda apparently agrees with my decision, as she explains there's no swordsman she would trust more (I wonder what Marth would say if he were in earshot... like it's a good thing he's not adjacent to her or anything).
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Anyway, Caeda remembers Marth's right next to her. So the conversation takes a turn after Ogma emphasizes he also clearly agrees with my tactical decision not to let anyone die yet.
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As anticipated, Marth and Ogma were at 0 risk of a crit, and Ogma doubles. Very nice start to the map. What could possibly go wrong? Well if I don't kill these pirates pronto, they'll kill Darros when he self-recruits. So they gotta die this turn.
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Fortunately, the only one to miss a shot was Draug, and our beloved Green Cav was more than Abel to pick up the slack. I also took the liberty of demonstrating just how badly at risk Jagen would have been if he took a crit. He'd have died and had enough damage left over to half kill him again. Fortunately those thieves can only do one damage to him per hit assuming they don't crit.... though they do double. Also there's a convenient choke point keeping them from ganging up.  So no inconvenient being wrecked by four two percent crits today. Is that possible? Not taking the chance.
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As a distraction from any possible misinterpretation of that... notice how much Darros looks like Beedle with a bandana (and no hayfever). Kaga even does Zelda characters first. Man, in my rant about Zelda characters that were memorable elsewhere I forgot Beedle. How?
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It's at this point I realize Abel was at threat of a 2% crit... twice. Man. If Draug didn't screw up this wouldn't happen. But I forgive you Draug. After that first boss how could I not? Well if Abel actually died...
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Jagen starts work on removing that hunter, Abel moves to safety, Draug doesn't so as to bait the hunter into attacking him, Wrys hea;s Ogma because I'm gonna need him, Barst gets into position to take on the oncoming Grustian cavalry, and everyone else gets out of the way.
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Draug makes sure that hunter won't be around after next turn. Barst hits the ground in front of the cavalier to make it throw him off. This is an animal cruelty free run.
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Draug snipes the hunter with his incredible disregard for Javelin hit-rates. Gordin shoots an arrow past the horse to cause it to throw the cavalier once again (you'd think he'd stop getting back on), Abel is unable to spook the horse as it's gotten used to this trick by now. Caeda switches up by aiming for the rider, and Barst finishes him off as he prepares to retreat. Jagen begins work on the thieves.
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First Jagen level. It's a very... Jagen level. Curse still stands. Anyway, Cain takes Barst's place because he's got a full health bar, isn't WTA'd, and most importantly can't die.
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Cain does his job of keeping the bridge blocked as well as can be expected against a stronger foe. One thief suicides on Marcus Jagen's first crit before the other futilely tries to avenge his friend.
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What a polite horse. It keeps bowing. Unfortunately, it also keeps saving it's rider by dragging him under my attacks. So Marth takes a more than slightly moderate risk to finish him. Because the Goddess favours a fool, it pays off.
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With that, I realize I no longer need hold Ogma in reserve for an emergency. So I let him get some exp off that thief. by letting him attack on enemy phase. Six turns and the chance to heal everyone at the two forts we've control of. Not bad at all. I'm going to do something stupid like trigger enemy movement early aren't I?
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Or miss a full round of combat's screenshot because I was gonna take it when Ogma doubled then he didn't double this one pirate. Go figure. Dodge? Yep fine. Double? Nah. I think I'll pass.
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Then I miss the literal first weapon level of the whole thing. THE FIRST. WHY?
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Consolation? I managed to break the defense curse. On a fighter yet. Also he patched that skill a bit.
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Then I accidentally trip this guy's "start moving and attack enemies" range. But it's okay because I'm far enough back that I can just  move Marcus Jagen to a different square, listen to a guy talk about getting experience by using your staff, and wait for this idiot to move to a spot where I can curbstomp him without his buddies running interference. Which I guess will make getting Castor without anyone dying easier.
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Merlinus must've warned this guy. Because Abel missed the opening volley of my trap, and I missed the chance to show his lance level grow to C.
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Marcus Jagen, Gordin and Caeda soften him up, and Ogma, knowing Armsthrift's not a thing mercenaries get until Awakening, decides to preserve weapon uses with a crit.
Am I the only one who thinks Ogma's battle sprite looks like Cloud Strife? So much so when my friend made a shitpost about his favourite Fire Emblem being the one with Cloud Strife, that I posted a screenshot of Ogma's battle sprite with "so Shadow Dragon?"
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Anway, seeing as Hard mode bonuses aren't a thing, Draug's finally safe to do something. Namely luring Castor. Bord being unequipped hangs back, and everyone else is ready for their roles in my master plan. Which is totally not just a series of lucky coincidences. I'm totally a master tactician.
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First Ogma starts the process of making it safe for Caeda to extract Castor oil. He also breaks that strength curse and gets luck.. the stat I'm used to him being bad at. Jagen finishes the job.
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Unlike Darros, I remembered to take Castor's stats. He's essentially Gordin but with better bases, speed growth, and movement. Any one of which justifies using him over the other guy. For the moment, they both have their place in my plan, as they can attack from two range.
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So here he borrows Gordin's steel bow for a plan and not just because I figure it'd be better with him. Marth moves into place because Marcus Jagen can't be hit twice and live. And I totally deliberately leave Marcus Jagen's Silver Lance equipped instead of trading the sword back like intended. Now behold what isn't just blind luck from two of those three things.
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First we survive enemy phase. Brilliant. Just as planned. Mind that 1% crit on Jagen was risky... and I really didn't intend to leave that silver lance out.... but.
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Hey Ruben... she's now a little stronger. Can she come back?
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Marth didn't get the memo about the curse being broken.
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But the beautiful final result was being able to finish off everyone without risking another crit or enemy phase or death. I wish that was deliberate. But as it is, I made a dumb with the silver lance but it turned out to be so dumb it worked.
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This guy's face is actually really appropriate here. Actually something depressing. That said, I can't help but wonder if the warning didn't include a thing about being defiled by thieves. Because that sort of happened anyway if you know what I mean. Just in a much less disturbing context.
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Cain takes Draug's Vulnerary, Darros buys some handaxes and a bow and distributes them so he and Bord can be of minor use chipping, and Barst has a spare. Castor introduces himself to Marth. We start healing. It's turn 20... and we're almost ready for a boss battle. This map's not gonna take much longer... right?
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No... I wish. This guy heals to fast for me to take him down without everyone hitting him at once.. but his stats are high enough he'll one round anyone not named Marth, Caeda, Ogma, Barst or Cord. My only option (other than getting lucky with risky plays or crits) is to have his hand-axe wear down while using the fort to heal and beating an unarmed man to death. Because it's the honorable way. That said, I decided to show a round of combat with each unit who can survive, and some of the highlights from this run.
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I'll just note Caeda took Draug's iron lance, seeing as he's not likely to use it again. On the other hand, Marth flat dodges the guy and crits him... which sets the pace for this battle. mNHvQtVK_o.pngktA3BGpf_o.pngz7GtwE9h_o.png
My attempt to captalize on said crit fails to end the battle early, but Ogma does eventually level from it. After that...
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Eventually, after over a hundred turns of my units dodging despit him having a full 71 hit on Barst and 68 on Caeda, I get the damn axe to break (and use the opportunity to attack). I then mount an offensive where Abel gets a level that may as well be perfect, Cain gets a level that's pretty good, Gordin and Castor get some exp, and I think it'd be hilarious if Draug could crit the boss again. He doesn't but whatever.
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He does get this from it. So it's not a total failure.
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Gordin really wants to be benched. I also took another shot at getting that Draug crit. But can you blame me? It would've been hilarious.
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He's one nimble guy. Certainly wasn't going down without a fight... even if he had no weapon. But alas, I had more than one arrow-caster, and so it was only a matter of time.
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There's no need for name calling. I am not demonically possesed.
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Ah yes. The Soothsires. I hear they have some edgy members.
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To be fair, I don't intend to return to this place. I mean it's kind of a dump.
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Recurring joke about not doing the next chapter yet goes here.

That's the show folks. Until next time, may the thin blue ice never show under your mukluks.

Deaths: Nil.
Crit Counter:
Caeda:3
Draug:1
MarcusJagen:1
Marth:1
Ogma:1
Generic enemy:1

 

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10 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Bord... Bord's speed growth is 10%.  His base speed growth is 0%. That means he's got class growths for speed. Only Bantu manages to top that with his -10% modifier.

I used Bord in my last run of FE12. He turned out pretty damn well, actually! Capped speed, somehow. Meanwhile Cord was benched when he failed to get strength or HP forever.

Bferixuf o

Probably would've had Bord take out Medeus, but as much as I love FE12, I tend to get Bord (heh...) after killing Hardin and Eremiah. Medeus's finale feels like an afterthought, and it takes way too long. Like, seriously, what is the need for the three dragon filler chapters before Medeus? Just keep the outside map where you get Michalis and the Starlight, have Gharnef guard the entrance to the tower, and then it's on to Medeus immediately. Much less tedious.

 

Fun fact: I was playing Radiant Dawn when I took that screenshot. Since it was an Ike chapter, by "playing" I mean "reading The Roger's LP while the game plays itself because every chapter where Ike is involved is the most mindnumbingly boring experience". Dolphin has F12 bound to "undo savestate load". This works even if there wasn't a savestate to load and you just happened to press a "load savestate" key. I had pressed one of those keys before the chapter started.

Thanks, Bord. Now I have to sit through an extra 20 minutes of boredom with Ike.

19 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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First Jagen level. It's a very... Jagen level

Hey, he got HP. That helps him as a dragoknight.

20 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Then I miss the literal first weapon level of the whole thing. THE FIRST. WHY?

Pop-ups are hell, I swear. Awful for LPers with grandpa reflexes like you and I.

21 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

listen to a guy talk about getting experience by using your staff

Hey, it's not as self-explanatory as it looks. In the original game, you gained experience by taking blades to the gut. That must've been fun. No wonder Wrys is so amazing. He spent his childhood levelling up by being beaten up.

22 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Am I the only one who thinks Ogma's battle sprite looks like Cloud Strife?

I don't know about that, but right now he looks like he doesn't have a head.

23 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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First Ogma starts the process of making it safe for Caeda to extract Castor oil. He also breaks that strength curse and gets luck.. the stat I'm used to him being bad at. Jagen finishes the job.

This is amazing. Your units are either so unlucky that everything crits them, or they're luckier than they'll ever need to be. Everyone who needs the luck won't get it, while Ogma hogs all of it. Thanks, Ogma.

25 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

He's essentially Gordin but with better bases, speed growth, and movement.

His drawback is that his face is less manly than Gordin's. And that's not even a joke. How did he even manage to look wimpier than Gaggles?

26 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Hey Ruben... she's now a little stronger. Can she come back?

Sorry, The Roger. I can't give energy drops! Come back when she's a little... MMMM, stronger!

26 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

That said, I can't help but wonder if the warning didn't include a thing about being defiled by thieves. Because that sort of happened anyway if you know what I mean.

You know, it's actually the other way around. In book 2, right after Julian snaps her out of Medeus's mind control, she is the one that takes the initiative and aggresively flirts with Julian right then and there. You know, all while they're both standing in front of the Shadow Dragon himself.

29 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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There's no need for name calling. I am not demonically possesed.

Are you sure about that?

29 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I hear they have some edgy members.

Kill him with fire.

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1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I'm afraid it's so obscure that even I'm not sure what you mean. I was just going for an arbitrary Metroid reference... because back when I was Mad Manakete I'd always get Ridley jokes

W-whuh, but Greed only appears in thr Samus and Joey manga and it's sequel Metroid EX. How can you even know about Greed otherwise? Ah nevermind. You should read those though. You can find them fully translated on the metroid database. 

I'll get to work on a pun for Navarre, I have a feeling he wont survive. 

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4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

 That said, I can't help but wonder if the warning didn't include a thing about being defiled by thieves. Because that sort of happened anyway if you know what I mean. Just in a much less disturbing context

You can stop Rickard before it is too late!

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Eyyy my boy Abel being good!

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I used Bord in my last run of FE12. He turned out pretty damn well, actually! Capped speed, somehow. Meanwhile Cord was benched when he failed to get strength or HP forever.

Pardon me what.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Hooray! We like stronk earlygame fliers!

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

His real one or my nickname for him?

Well, both, but just "Talys King" is weird considering he has a name, I think.

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Here are the replies, do tell me if this format of replying carries any annoyances so I don't continue it. I just didn't want a wall of text.

Spoiler
4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

It's been bouncing around in my head every time I saw "spot the mistake" in an LP, "what if there was no mistake and the LPer just said it to mess with everyone?" So I saw my opportunity, even played up that advice about archers and pegasus knights a little more. Just for a throwaway joke.

Whose LP is it? Oh wait, it's that guy Benfire's right?????

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

This is officially more of a test run for an actual screenshot LP.. but lord knows I'm enjoying it more than expected. Apart from bosses taking forever.

I know right? Why do thrones give such insane avoid stats and whatnot when you'll never use them? Just give 10% avoid maybe but more defense than anything else. That makes for more interesting gameplay instead of being an avoid fest. Yes Gordin wouldn't do anything but it's not much different than the usual.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I increasingly noticed this myself, so I'm going to try to adapt my commentary to lines of screenshots instead of one character's combat. Who'd have thunk the format I used for replies was so flawed once it became the main feature of a thread.

Thus, why I spoilered my replies... sorry if this makes it harder to quote though on your end. Also this was your reply idea? I thought Ruben came up with it.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Doctor Midnite used to use them a lot in All-American Comics, because his eyesight only worked in the dark.

That's fascinating, and strange but very cool.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I don't think anyone's calling is the way of the armor knight in H5. I mean... not if they want to live. That said, out-sniping Gordin with a damn Javelin and 32 hit was amazing.

Some people actually go with Dark Mage Draug because he's pretty fast, though he has like 20% Magic growth and a 0 base I'm sure, but doubling with magic sounds cool.

On 5/12/2020 at 1:01 PM, JimmyBeans said:

Man this is great! FE11 content is hard to come by these days but it is always awesome when it comes around. 

There is a full LP of FE11 H5 on Youtube, done by Mangs and co-hosted by Mekkah. The videos are very high quality and the commentary is fun too.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Much like the AVGN, I'm infamously prone to referencing Castlevania.

YO CASTLEVANIA IS SICK AF!!!!! Have you beaten the original? I've tried, got to the last stage once. Damn game is a legend that is still fun up to today!

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I'm not sure how many people honestly noticed... but when I was re-doing my profile during Ruben's TRS LP, it popped straight into my head. I mean, after looking for a Mel icon. She is The Roger's everything after all.

Huh? You changed your profile for an LP? I guess the inside jokes of the Ruben-Circle are something I still need to learn, like Dark Magic I am very intrigued... but it could consume me.

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I completely stole that from Saint Rubenio's LPs (most likely his New Mystery one). I just assumed it was a communal terminology.

I also thought that was communal terminology when I saw it being used in Benice's LP and Ruben's LP... well, we will spread the word one day lads!

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

First thing's first. I'm emptying Bord's weapons into Barst's hands. Why? The iron axe's hit-rate will be a salve on the wound that is Barst's hitrate. A wound we don't want to become a terminal infection when the bacteria that are the enemy are at hand.

What a good analogy, I like it.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Very nice start to the map. What could possibly go wrong? Well if I don't kill these pirates pronto, they'll kill Darros when he self-recruits. So they gotta die this turn.

Honestly, recruitable enemy units in H3-H5 should get the hard mode bonuses of enemies from H1-H3 respectively in that order... so not to make them obsecenly powerful but to give them a chance to live once they are recruited, it's not going to break the balance of the game anyways since they  freaking suck.

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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First Jagen level. It's a very... Jagen level. Curse still stands. Anyway, Cain takes Barst's place because he's got a full health bar, isn't WTA'd, and most importantly can't die.

It sucks but I mean atleast he won't get 2 shot by that pirate with 11 atk... 

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Consolation? I managed to break the defense curse. On a fighter yet. Also he patched that skill a bit.

Barst is so good once he levels up, I know that much. Will you reclass him to Hero?

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Am I the only one who thinks Ogma's battle sprite looks like Cloud Strife?

When you put it that way, it does seem like a single frame of the attack frame lol

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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He also breaks that strength curse and gets luck.. the stat I'm used to him being bad at.

Honestly this is a pretty good level up all things considered. Luck going to an even number and skill up also helps him be even more accurate with a Steel Sword, but higher strength also allows you to use Iron Swords more effectively (Yes I know it's just one point but still).

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Caeda manipulates a man into going to his death for her.png

Unlike Darros, I remembered to take Castor's stats. He's essentially Gordin but with better bases, speed growth, and movement. Any one of which justifies using him over the other guy. For the moment, they both have their place in my plan, as they can attack from two range.

Caeda definitely get's over 100K in her onlyfans account, funny thing is these guys are such SIMPS that they pay so much for just selfies lmao. Seriously though, if Castor's mother is sick then why doesn't he just immediately go back to her? Oh well, having two archers this early on is great. I mean, 5 new units in a single chapter, wow!

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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Ooh boy what a fantastic level up for Caeda! More speed and Strength is EPIC.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

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But the beautiful final result was being able to finish off everyone without risking another crit or enemy phase or death. I wish that was deliberate. But as it is, I made a dumb with the silver lance but it turned out to be so dumb it worked.

Man I love it when I see things like this, just everything get resolved like that, maybe this is the game telling you to use the Silver Lance for enemy phases more?

 

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

SlTcdEiW_o.pnguEovV2f8_o.png
I then mount an offensive where Abel gets a level that may as well be perfect, Cain gets a level that's pretty good,

I'm liking this type of narration, anyways holy moly that Abel level is so awesome.  Cain became more offensive-oriented than he already was which is perfect. Once he gets that D lances, oooh boy!

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Ah yes. The Soothsires. I hear they have some edgy members.

You're not going to kill him off right? I mean I know why you may not like their personality but eh this joke never really got to me. Though Navarre sucks anyways lol.

2 hours ago, Pengaius said:

I'll get to work on a pun for Navarre, I have a feeling he wont survive.

Something like "He would Navarre have made it" doesn't work because the R is rolled FERROCARRIL style but still lol.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I used Bord in my last run of FE12. He turned out pretty damn well, actually! Capped speed, somehow. Meanwhile Cord was benched when he failed to get strength or HP forever.

Bferixuf o

Excuse me what in the name of all that is holy?

Edited by This boi uses Nino
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6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

But my question was how the people provided that protection, when they didn't really do anything to make Talys obscure.

Their brilliant protection was doing nothing. If anyone did anything even remotely interesting Marth would be in danger.

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Guess history just flat forgot Talys.

See, Talys is so boring and obscure that even history forgot about it.

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

GS9pzcez_o.png
As a distraction from any possible misinterpretation of that...

~

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

xBEtqFPy_o.png8HS65cME_o.png

Wait, is there an image missing, or did Gordin just get a 1% crit right there?

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

With that, I realize I no longer need hold Ogma in reserve for an emergency.

There is the sign of a good Fire Emblem player, keeping one of their best units in reserve, just in case.

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Then I miss the literal first weapon level of the whole thing. THE FIRST. WHY?

No big deal, once you get into the habit of expecting it I am sure you'll catch an image of those weapon levelup.

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

U1vPSMU0_o.png
Consolation? I managed to break the defense curse. On a fighter yet. Also he patched that skill a bit.

The curse is half broken...

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

9UDR5C47_o.png
Merlinus must've warned this guy. Because Abel missed the opening volley of my trap, and I missed the chance to show his lance level grow to C.

See you were so close to catching the weapon rank that you caught the textbox closing. Also is the Merlinus joke a reference to comments in Benice's LP?

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:


8NNwkfhp_o.pngwgR9qo02_o.pngbvPqhBAv_o.png
First Ogma starts the process of making it safe for Caeda to extract Castor oil. He also breaks that strength curse and gets luck.. the stat I'm used to him being bad at. Jagen finishes the job.

The curse has fully ended.

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

It's turn 20... and we're almost ready for a boss battle. This map's not gonna take much longer... right?

How optimistic

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Eventually, after over a hundred turns of my units dodging despit him having a full 71 hit on Barst and 68 on Caeda, I get the damn axe to break (and use the opportunity to attack).

now that's the Shadow Dragon I remember.

 

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

xxjCzgok_o.png
He does get this from it. So it's not a total failure.

Third time the charm it seems, finally catching an image of the weapon level up.

 

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I used Bord in my last run of FE12. He turned out pretty damn well, actually! Capped speed, somehow. Meanwhile Cord was benched when he failed to get strength or HP forever.

Bferixuf o

 

Bord is good in FE12, thanks to that early triangle attack. Fun fact base level Bord can one shot Lang with a Hammer using that triangle even on Lunatic reverse. I used all three of the axey boys on my H2 run of FE12

Spoiler

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ACtC-3etwk5pc_UPima87GQUcYRO_IiBI42EHlrf

ACtC-3cklYzCcpDKCoGhrtnezTAPo7wgLPxvEhle

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6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

beloved Green Cav was more than Abel to pick up the slack.

High quality puns. I approve!

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

to cause it to throw the cavalier once again (you'd think he'd stop getting back on)

That is one tenacious and determined cavalier.
Too bad all it did was give him an early grave... F for the brave cav who never gave up!

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Consolation? I managed to break the defense curse.

*insert Hallelujah here*

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Which is totally not just a series of lucky coincidences. I'm totally a master tactician.

A regular modern day Zhuge Liang (the novel version, not the irl one). I bow to thy mastery of tactics.
In all seriousness, I probably wouldn't even attempt to play Hard 5 if my life depended on it.

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Caeda manipulates a man into going to his death for her.png

The true Shadow Dragon experience.

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

ePHgqfJI_o.png

Shiida leveled Strength... Wow!
True story: I once went through Shadow Dragon without Shiida getting a single point of Strength (except through promotion bonuses, obviously). Luckily, forges are busted (and I didn't play on a very high difficulty), so it worked out, but it still left me a bit miffed, to say the least.

6 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Ah yes. The Soothsires. I hear they have some edgy members.

This, ladies and gents, is what you call foreshadowing.

---

Anyway, my unfunny commentary to your funny commentary aside, this was again a very entertaining chapter.
Contrary to what I've heard about Hard 5's early game, things were going comparatively smoothly. Hopefully your luck won't run out anytime soon!

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On 5/12/2020 at 12:23 PM, eclipse said:

*cries in sig*

We are a dying breed. Well.... that's me implying there has ever been a lot of us which we know is not true.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 4:21 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

This is an amazing coincidence, but while I was waiting for the screenshots to finish uploading to imgbox, I happened to have a look for other playthroughs on H5. I came across your PMU from a while back. I'm hoping I don't disappoint you too much, given I'm not liable to play on the same level.

Awesome! I only expect you to pick up the torch because I lost my data for that PMU at chapter 23.

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Wow...Shadow Dragon on H5. Good training to make you a better paladin, I guess? I didn't finish even on normal. Because SD is honestly way too bland and boring to keep my interest.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 6:21 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

First thing's first. I'm emptying Bord's weapons into Barst's hands. Why? The iron axe's hit-rate will be a salve on the wound that is Barst's hitrate. A wound we don't want to become a terminal infection when the bacteria that are the enemy are at hand.

Nice, descriptive analogy. I wish I was clever enough to have thought of something like that myself.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 6:21 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Now Bord and Cord... well Cord good. Bord Bad. Want more?

Well, Cord is obviously the better looking one, right?

 

On 5/15/2020 at 6:21 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Sure other units are tied for that 0%... including Darros

Who I totally did not kill when I played that chapter because recruitables are not nearly as easy to tell apart in SD and New Mystery as they are in the other games.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 6:21 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Anyway, Caeda remembers Marth's right next to her.

Which is why she makes sure Marth's out of earshot when she works her womanly wiles on Roger later.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 6:21 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Well if Abel actually died...

Both Cain and Jagen would absolutely be Abel to pick up the slack.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 6:21 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Caeda manipulates a man into going to his death for her.png

Probably wasn't the first time. Definitely won't be the last.

---------

Just read this thread for the first time tonight. Great job. I like the dry humor that goes into each caption. Looking forward to even more.

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Semi-update (or why the hell am I taking so long).

I'm not even going to put it in spoilers (unlike the replies which I was writing as they came in). I dun goofed. Out of habit I clicked on the load state button when I started the ROM. Guess who hadn't been using them to avoid temptation? As I'm writing this... I've managed to get back to Gomer without any substantial changes (thank God I can use my own LP as a guide to what I did). I'm hoping I can get this guy done again without RNG alterations... but I admit I have my concerns because of the fact I kept less screenshots. Way I see it, odds are we're in for a couple changes to the stats from level ups.... and I honestly don't know how to edit those. Anyway, here goes on another hour of my life. I'll detail any actual changes when I get back to Chapter 3.

Spoiler
On 5/15/2020 at 8:56 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I used Bord in my last run of FE12. He turned out pretty damn well, actually! Capped speed, somehow. Meanwhile Cord was benched when he failed to get strength or HP forever.

Bferixuf o

Probably would've had Bord take out Medeus, but as much as I love FE12, I tend to get Bord (heh...) after killing Hardin and Eremiah. Medeus's finale feels like an afterthought, and it takes way too long. Like, seriously, what is the need for the three dragon filler chapters before Medeus? Just keep the outside map where you get Michalis and the Starlight, have Gharnef guard the entrance to the tower, and then it's on to Medeus immediately. Much less tedious.

Bord coincidentally has increased his base speed by 20% by New Mystery. Mind a lot of characters got adjustments in that game compared to Shadow Dragon. Some for better, some for worse. Was going to argue the point about keeping the outside map with Michalis... but then I remembered it's the one I like (weird as it is) and the other two are pretty meh. I mean even if you kept the Michalis and Gharnef ones alone it'd work.

Fun fact: I was playing Radiant Dawn when I took that screenshot. Since it was an Ike chapter, by "playing" I mean "reading The Roger's LP while the game plays itself because every chapter where Ike is involved is the most mindnumbingly boring experience". Dolphin has F12 bound to "undo savestate load". This works even if there wasn't a savestate to load and you just happened to press a "load savestate" key. I had pressed one of those keys before the chapter started.

Thanks, Bord. Now I have to sit through an extra 20 minutes of boredom with Ike.
More like Bordom

Hey, he got HP. That helps him as a dragoknight.
I'll take anything that's not an empty level at this point.

Pop-ups are hell, I swear. Awful for LPers with grandpa reflexes like you and I.
Or worse, those of us who habitually press the key again after a battle and dismiss it..

Hey, it's not as self-explanatory as it looks. In the original game, you gained experience by taking blades to the gut. That must've been fun. No wonder Wrys is so amazing. He spent his childhood levelling up by being beaten up.
No matter what, he's more important than the guy who explained that thieves could destroy towns after we saw it. Now if he warned us horsemen could destroy towns sometimes... then he'd have been the best NPC.

I don't know about that, but right now he looks like he doesn't have a head.
I see you've had your plates out again.

This is amazing. Your units are either so unlucky that everything crits them, or they're luckier than they'll ever need to be. Everyone who needs the luck won't get it, while Ogma hogs all of it. Thanks, Ogma.
Maybe the "luck is the best stat" jokes are coming back to haunt me.

His drawback is that his face is less manly than Gordin's. And that's not even a joke. How did he even manage to look wimpier than Gaggles?
Gathering by a certain Satteleview chapter and the dialogue with Rickard... by trying for purpose of scamming money out of people.

Sorry, The Roger. I can't give energy drops! Come back when she's a little... MMMM, stronger!
Can this joke continue if she caps strength?

You know, it's actually the other way around. In book 2, right after Julian snaps her out of Medeus's mind control, she is the one that takes the initiative and aggresively flirts with Julian right then and there. You know, all while they're both standing in front of the Shadow Dragon himself.
As she's a cleric, that's still classed as her being defiled. Kind of the inverse of the Poseidon and Medusa thing (from one specific variant of the legend) where Athena oh so wisely blamed Medusa for Poseidon's actions, because surely a mere mortal woman can fend off the unwanted advances of a powerful deity. Seriously... why is she the "Goddess of Wisdom"?

Are you sure about that?
Well, I'd be very "cross" if one tried to exorcise me.

Kill him with fire.
I've got something better in mind. Which why this update is gonna be late.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 9:58 PM, Pengaius said:

W-whuh, but Greed only appears in thr Samus and Joey manga and it's sequel Metroid EX. How can you even know about Greed otherwise? Ah nevermind. You should read those though. You can find them fully translated on the metroid database. 
Wait... Ridley actually has a brother? Well... damn. Here I thought I was being "original" with my OC Tony (the joke being Tony is a deliberate bad recolour of Ridley, named for Tony Scott... you know, playing off Ridley Scott).

I'll get to work on a pun for Navarre, I have a feeling he wont survive. 
Speaking of deliberately inane fanfiction...

 

On 5/16/2020 at 12:45 AM, Benice said:

You can stop Rickard before it is too late!
Rickard? Lena's female and not named "Julian". Rickard wouldn't touch her.

Eyyy my boy Abel being good!
He's enAbeling me to continue.

Pardon me what.
Bord's evidently not as bad next game.

Hooray! We like stronk earlygame fliers!
Meanwhile, FE12 Palla is laughing.

Well, both, but just "Talys King" is weird considering he has a name, I think.
Ruben mentioned it's "Mostyn". I prefer Santa Claus because he dresses the part.

On 5/16/2020 at 12:57 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

Here are the replies, do tell me if this format of replying carries any annoyances so I don't continue it. I just didn't want a wall of text.
It seems to have worked out perfectly for quoting, so it's good.

  Hide contents

Whose LP is it? Oh wait, it's that guy Benfire's right?????
Honestly, Ruben's done it. Benice has done it (especially in FE6). I'm sure it's just an LP thing. So naturally being prone to taking everything and seeing the silly side of it.

I know right? Why do thrones give such insane avoid stats and whatnot when you'll never use them? Just give 10% avoid maybe but more defense than anything else. That makes for more interesting gameplay instead of being an avoid fest. Yes Gordin wouldn't do anything but it's not much different than the usual.
To make bosses even more broken than they logically need to be.

Thus, why I spoilered my replies... sorry if this makes it harder to quote though on your end. Also this was your reply idea? I thought Ruben came up with it.
I meant I was formatting my post in the same way I'd format my replies to Ruben's thread... which was based on how he formatted replies. But he definitely does a better job of putting multiple screenshots in a row than I did that first update. See the problem Is I never thought about how big it'd get when I comment on everything instead of just what I find interesting.

That's fascinating, and strange but very cool.
My favourite Dr. Mid-nite story was the one where his owl's hoot arbitrarily ends up reading as "whooooore". Mostly because it looked so ridiculous. I wonder whether that was deliberate or not.

Some people actually go with Dark Mage Draug because he's pretty fast, though he has like 20% Magic growth and a 0 base I'm sure, but doubling with magic sounds cool.
In a game where no one knows what res is... yep. Definitely.

There is a full LP of FE11 H5 on Youtube, done by Mangs and co-hosted by Mekkah. The videos are very high quality and the commentary is fun too.
I remember the time we had Mangs for the SF Interviews. It was a bit after my own. Fun memories. Mostly because of the stupid questions I asked.

YO CASTLEVANIA IS SICK AF!!!!! Have you beaten the original? I've tried, got to the last stage once. Damn game is a legend that is still fun up to today!
Only 2D Castlevania I haven't beat is Castlevania Chronicles on Playstation... which I've never found a copy of. I mentioned briefly in the Berwick Saga LP that I can, on a good day beat Super Castlevania IV in one life. One's another matter. That last stage is pretty brutal.

Huh? You changed your profile for an LP? I guess the inside jokes of the Ruben-Circle are something I still need to learn, like Dark Magic I am very intrigued... but it could consume me.
Pengaius was briefly "Arkislover" something or other. But yeah, it happened after a particular incident occurred in TRS. Should be on page 24, right after the 28th of May (I know because I have a list of where my songs are, and it happened right after Unleash the The, which parodied Under the Sea).

I also thought that was communal terminology when I saw it being used in Benice's LP and Ruben's LP... well, we will spread the word one day lads!
Good to see I wasn't the only one.

What a good analogy, I like it.
To be honest, I was going for the "Fawful" effect initially. Except I made too much sense, had decent syntax and spoke of medicine instead of food. A loser is I.

Honestly, recruitable enemy units in H3-H5 should get the hard mode bonuses of enemies from H1-H3 respectively in that order... so not to make them obsecenly powerful but to give them a chance to live once they are recruited, it's not going to break the balance of the game anyways since they  freaking suck.

Especially when they're going to get... you know, two rounded. Though I'd argue Astram doesn't have bad bases. So on a 0 growths run...

It sucks but I mean atleast he won't get 2 shot by that pirate with 11 atk...

For him, anything that's not empty is okay.

Barst is so good once he levels up, I know that much. Will you reclass him to Hero?

Possibly... to be honest, this being more of a test run (see disclaimer), the intent was to switch to something else more interesting after so many chapters. But then people are enjoying this... and I'm enjoying it. So this might end up going further than I planned.

When you put it that way, it does seem like a single frame of the attack frame lol

I have a feeling that may have came out a little differently than you meant it... unless there's a Cloud Strife attack frame you're referring to.

Honestly this is a pretty good level up all things considered. Luck going to an even number and skill up also helps him be even more accurate with a Steel Sword, but higher strength also allows you to use Iron Swords more effectively (Yes I know it's just one point but still).

In a mode like this... a single point in anything can be life or death. I mean, yeah, there are those 0% runs out there... but I don't have that kind of knowledge here.

Caeda definitely get's over 100K in her onlyfans account, funny thing is these guys are such SIMPS that they pay so much for just selfies lmao. Seriously though, if Castor's mother is sick then why doesn't he just immediately go back to her? Oh well, having two archers this early on is great. I mean, 5 new units in a single chapter, wow!

Does she even need it? She's already a princess... I just realized that Talys entire treasury came from Caeda. Damn.

On a side note... Castor, while the generic "sick family member needs medicine" on debut, was revealed in the third Satteleview Chapter (the one where he takes note of Rickard's tricks for manipulating Lena for his own later use to line his pockets) and his supports with Kris as a con artist. His ending title in New Mystery was even "Sly Swindler" Mind, OG Mystery he's not implied to be a con artist... and his endings do involve his return to his mother with his savings. So who knows. I figure he lies about her being sick but does legit use the money to support her... but is a bad enough con artist that he ends up helping whoever pays him, at which point it's not a con at all apart from the initial lie.

Ooh boy what a fantastic level up for Caeda! More speed and Strength is EPIC.
Really, with the HP... it's the things she needs most. As long as I don't let her take attacks...

Man I love it when I see things like this, just everything get resolved like that, maybe this is the game telling you to use the Silver Lance for enemy phases more?

Definitely a nice surprise. I mean, even if I hadn't done that... Darros and Cord were on standby. Possibly for the best though. Darros would have totally missed and got doubled.

I'm liking this type of narration, anyways holy moly that Abel level is so awesome.  Cain became more offensive-oriented than he already was which is perfect. Once he gets that D lances, oooh boy!
I always enjoy using the christmas cavs. I mean, if this was a zero growth run... I'd be forced to drop them. But maybe I can keep them going.

You're not going to kill him off right? I mean I know why you may not like their personality but eh this joke never really got to me. Though Navarre sucks anyways lol.
I like how everyone's just assuming I'm going to kill him. Ruben was the one who killed Rutger.

Something like "He would Navarre have made it" doesn't work because the R is rolled FERROCARRIL style but still lol.
I'm so curious maybe I will have to kill him.

Excuse me what in the name of all that is holy?
Bord is definitely better in FE12 with 30% speed growth (or a base of 20%). I guess he learnt something between the games. All the same capping it's pretty neat.

 

On 5/16/2020 at 2:55 AM, Eltosian Kadath said:

Their brilliant protection was doing nothing. If anyone did anything even remotely interesting Marth would be in danger.

See, Talys is so boring and obscure that even history forgot about it.

Quite ironic that it's one of the most iconic maps in the series being the one that started it.

~

I see my clever strategy totally failed.

Wait, is there an image missing, or did Gordin just get a 1% crit right there?

I believe (judging by the fact the arrow hasn't connected) that the Gordin shot was taken before damage, and the Abel one was taken after his (meaning between them they did 9). I must have gotten confused on Abel not connecting that shot. Really need to pay more attention. Maybe write some short-hand notes.

There is the sign of a good Fire Emblem player, keeping one of their best units in reserve, just in case.

I'll take the compliment.. but it's like my silver lance trick last chapter. An emergency brake.

No big deal, once you get into the habit of expecting it I am sure you'll catch an image of those weapon levelup.

It was partially, in that case I hit the button again closing the window. Because it's habit.

The curse is half broken...

In a way I can't say I expected. Then again Barst's not that bad on defense.

See you were so close to catching the weapon rank that you caught the textbox closing. Also is the Merlinus joke a reference to comments in Benice's LP?

That one I have no excuse. But the Merlinus/trap jokes kind of go back to Saint Rubenio's FE6 LP. Because Merlinus' dialogue in that game heavily involved expecting traps at every turn. Except the time there was a trap. But anyway. Seems to have become a running gag... that has infected Ruben's LPs, Benice's LP and now I'm doing it out of habit (and knowing that I have both of them reading).

The curse has fully ended.

Possibly in one of the better ways it could.

How optimistic

now that's the Shadow Dragon I remember.

I almost added "1 hour of my life trying to break a hand-axe" to the death counter... but I forgot.

Third time the charm it seems, finally catching an image of the weapon level up.

Had to do it eventually. Or fail so many times I stop trying.

Bord is good in FE12, thanks to that early triangle attack. Fun fact base level Bord can one shot Lang with a Hammer using that triangle even on Lunatic reverse. I used all three of the axey boys on my H2 run of FE12
Plus the boost to the speed growth I keep mentioning. That said, he should be ashamed. Bludgeoning a man who has Cancer to death with a hammer.

  Reveal hidden contents

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On 5/16/2020 at 3:00 AM, DragonFlames said:

High quality puns. I approve!
Meanwhile, right through Saint Rubenio's Tear Ring Saga LP, I unLeeshed a Leegion of puns about a Bishop named Lee... and in FE6 there were a Lot of Fighter puns. Mind puns are just part of the comments section.

That is one tenacious and determined cavalier.
Too bad all it did was give him an early grave... F for the brave cav who never gave up!
Also for his buddy, who taught his horse very good manners.

*insert Hallelujah here*
This is where I'd usually have a joke.. but I have nothing.

A regular modern day Zhuge Liang (the novel version, not the irl one). I bow to thy mastery of tactics.
In all seriousness, I probably wouldn't even attempt to play Hard 5 if my life depended on it.
Meanwhile, I'm doing it because I wanted to test imgbox and figured if I was going to make an idiot of myself online, I'd do it in a mode I had an excuse in. Then was pleasantly surprised when I haven't yet.

The true Shadow Dragon experience.
"Could you give a summary of the plot of Shadow Dragon?"... "This girl on a winged horse with blue hair keeps tricking guys into risking their lives so her boyfriend doesn't have to. Also there's a dragon"

Shiida leveled Strength... Wow!
True story: I once went through Shadow Dragon without Shiida getting a single point of Strength (except through promotion bonuses, obviously). Luckily, forges are busted (and I didn't play on a very high difficulty), so it worked out, but it still left me a bit miffed, to say the least.
That sounds very much like something she'd do. She doesn't only screw over people in the game. She screws over the player too.

This, ladies and gents, is what you call foreshadowing.
You have no idea.

---

Anyway, my unfunny commentary to your funny commentary aside, this was again a very entertaining chapter.
Contrary to what I've heard about Hard 5's early game, things were going comparatively smoothly. Hopefully your luck won't run out anytime soon!
Chapter 3 will be the real test, I suspect. Mind unlike last time, I've kind of written these replies in advance of playing it... so I can't spoil anything because I don't know what's happened yet either.

 

On 5/17/2020 at 1:52 PM, JimmyBeans said:

We are a dying breed. Well.... that's me implying there has ever been a lot of us which we know is not true.

You mean people who prefer Shadow Dragon over the other games? Because I find it the best suited to pick up and play and challenge runs. Plus it doesn't hurt that it's hard for any character to get grating in a game where they have limited screen time (mind that has the inverse effect of making it hard for them to be developed) Ergo it's my favourite. But mostly for the gameplay reasons.

Awesome! I only expect you to pick up the torch because I lost my data for that PMU at chapter 23.
Incredibly sorry to hear that. I'm still not that far into it, because I'm trying not to let another run influence me too much (though that'll be less a problem once deployment slots are a thing), so I've been kind of checking the chapters right after I do them.

6 hours ago, twilitfalchion said:

Wow...Shadow Dragon on H5. Good training to make you a better paladin, I guess? I didn't finish even on normal. Because SD is honestly way too bland and boring to keep my interest.

Shame I didn't have a better memory...

Nice, descriptive analogy. I wish I was clever enough to have thought of something like that myself.

As said above... it's kind of a failure because I was going for a Fawful-ism.

Well, Cord is obviously the better looking one, right?

Also the one with better bases. Wait... I covered that.

Who I totally did not kill when I played that chapter because recruitables are not nearly as easy to tell apart in SD and New Mystery as they are in the other games.

Having used Darros.. you haven't missed much. By endgame he was exclusively fighting with a hand-axe because at one range he'd be at risk of death.

Which is why she makes sure Marth's out of earshot when she works her womanly wiles on Roger later.

We can assume. Then again, knowing me they'll somehow end up next to each other.

Both Cain and Jagen would absolutely be Abel to pick up the slack.

But it'd still Cain losing Abel.

Probably wasn't the first time. Definitely won't be the last.
I hope not. Because the alternative is she dies.

---------

Just read this thread for the first time tonight. Great job. I like the dry humor that goes into each caption. Looking forward to even more.
Hopefully there'll be more. I just need to right an error.


More Placeholder text that I leave in because I think I'm funnier than I am.

 

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27 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Out of habit I clicked on the load state button when I started the ROM. Guess who hadn't been using them to avoid temptation?

That's why you find where they're stored and delete them.

26 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Was going to argue the point about keeping the outside map with Michalis... but then I remembered it's the one I like (weird as it is) and the other two are pretty meh. I mean even if you kept the Michalis and Gharnef ones alone it'd work.

I just remembered that Gharnef's map has the Aum and the second hammerne. Hmm... difficult to put those in the outside map. Guess the final map could be extended a bit? I'll take that over the two filler chapters.

28 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Can this joke continue if she caps strength?

It could be arranged. Mmm...

29 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I've got something better in mind. Which why this update is gonna be late.

Hype. Hype. Hype.

On 5/15/2020 at 4:57 PM, This boi uses Nino said:

Ruben-Circle

I just love the fact that this is apparently a thing. Definitely wasn't expecting that when I started.

34 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I like how everyone's just assuming I'm going to kill him.

 
P5i5grel o
 
37 minutes ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Seems to have become a running gag... that has infected Ruben's LPs, Benice's LP and now I'm doing it out of habit (and knowing that I have both of them reading).

Yes... Soon, the whole world shall know that Merlinus is the worst thing ever!

7 hours ago, twilitfalchion said:

Because SD is honestly way too bland and boring to keep my interest.

How dare you, I'll kill you.

Then again, that's exactly how I dropped Path of Radiance, so who am I to judge?

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So updating further. Having got Chapter 2 done again... I've obviously screwed up somewhere in the Gomer fight.
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As I realized when Ogma gained a point of speed he shouldn't have.
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Then Abel traded his defense and strength growths for a point of skill (what a rip-off). Cain got skill (which he missed before). Gordin got HP and Skill with his luck.
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Most shockingly of all, Draug managed to get a level in. Not even sure how that happened.
Anyway, I don't know whether to be happy with the net gain, or just mad that Abel lost two stats that he could really use. Gonna take a break for the rest of today.. because honestly after another 100 turns on Gomer... I'm burned out.

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2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How dare you, I'll kill you.

Then again, that's exactly how I dropped Path of Radiance, so who am I to judge?

Honestly, I would agree that PoR’s gameplay is near sleep-inducing, but the story, characters, and setting are so memorable that I want to keep playing. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for SD. Pretty much every part of SD is forgettable for me personally. But it was a game based off a Famicom game, so I understand why it didn’t have a lot of source material to go off of. 

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10 minutes ago, twilitfalchion said:

Honestly, I would agree that PoR’s gameplay is near sleep-inducing, but the story, characters, and setting are so memorable that I want to keep playing. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for SD. Pretty much every part of SD is forgettable for me personally. But it was a game based off a Famicom game, so I understand why it didn’t have a lot of source material to go off of. 

It's quite the opposite for me, actually. PoR's story doesn't save the game, because I can just watch a playthrough and get the story without the horrendous gameplay. Shadow Dragon, meanwhile, has better gameplay and difficulty. Not to mention that I love the writing. But, to each his own.

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Spoiler
4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

It seems to have worked out perfectly for quoting, so it's good.

Alright then, I'll keep it up

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Only 2D Castlevania I haven't beat is Castlevania Chronicles on Playstation... which I've never found a copy of. I mentioned briefly in the Berwick Saga LP that I can, on a good day beat Super Castlevania IV in one life. One's another matter. That last stage is pretty brutal.

Yeah man, freaking imps or whatever always push me off a million miles.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Possibly... to be honest, this being more of a test run (see disclaimer),

I know you keep mentioning this, but what were you testing? Something for another LP?

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I have a feeling that may have came out a little differently than you meant it... unless there's a Cloud Strife attack frame you're referring to.

Yeah, I don't remember which it is, but Ogma holding his sword in that way reminds me of a single frame in his attack animation. I also messed up by saying "a single frame of his frame" oh me.

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I always enjoy using the christmas cavs. I mean, if this was a zero growth run... I'd be forced to drop them. But maybe I can keep them going.

The Christmas cavs are so much fun. Actually it's about the only thing FE7 does right (aside from the level these units come in) You have two incredibly fun cavaliers, one that doubles reliably and another that just does MASSIVE damage. Also like Allen and Lance, in normal mode it takes Allen just one point of speed to double a few archers and oh boi, he just annihilates them with an iron sword!

4 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Especially when they're going to get... you know, two rounded. Though I'd argue Astram doesn't have bad bases. So on a 0 growths run...

Well perhaps not, but half the other cast... yeah. Oh wait, imagine if Matthis gained H5 bonuses because he is such a wimp. HAahHA that would be hilarious, he would still be a generic cavalier but those are pretty tough in H5

 

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Chapter 3- Chaste bandits
Fair warning. Half-assed photo-shops and selfwritten dialogue start here.

Replies.

Spoiler
On 5/19/2020 at 6:49 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

That's why you find where they're stored and delete them.
Done. Hopefully won't happen again.

I just remembered that Gharnef's map has the Aum and the second hammerne. Hmm... difficult to put those in the outside map. Guess the final map could be extended a bit? I'll take that over the two filler chapters.
Or you could keep Gharnef's map, and the outside map. Cut the one in between. Not quite fixed but... better than nothing.

It could be arranged. Mmm...
I don't expect it to happen. But I'll die laughing if it does. Funny how I keep dying laughing, but I'm always back.

Hype. Hype. Hype.
Bad fan-fiction is hype now? I mean really bad.

I just love the fact that this is apparently a thing. Definitely wasn't expecting that when I started.

I wasn't expecting to LP anything... or you know... not get my ass kicked by H5 at every turn.
P5i5grel o
No comment.

Yes... Soon, the whole world shall know that Merlinus is the worst thing ever!
But that'll make him relevant. It's a trap by Merlinus.

How dare you, I'll kill you.
Careful there. I'm getting views.

Then again, that's exactly how I dropped Path of Radiance, so who am I to judge?
Meanwhile I've been through Path of Radiance three times. So there must be some appeal. My personal favourite moments in the game are the singing pirates on that one chapter (musical pirates... man I've never heard that before), and that Kieran/Rhys support where he juggles weapons... and gets his axe in his head. Whoo that's sharp.

On 5/19/2020 at 9:37 PM, twilitfalchion said:

Honestly, I would agree that PoR’s gameplay is near sleep-inducing, but the story, characters, and setting are so memorable that I want to keep playing. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for SD. Pretty much every part of SD is forgettable for me personally. But it was a game based off a Famicom game, so I understand why it didn’t have a lot of source material to go off of. 
Which is kind of where New Mystery shined. Where Shadow Dragon admittedly played it close to the original, New Mystery built on the Super Famicom game it was based off. That said, I think Shadow Dragon's more friendly for challenge runs. Then again, maybe I just love Shadow Dragon because I met my ex while playing this game. I mean literally. As in deciding to sit down and play this game in a super-market literally resulted in said conversation. I might talk more about that if I get to the chapter in question.

On 5/19/2020 at 9:56 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

It's quite the opposite for me, actually. PoR's story doesn't save the game, because I can just watch a playthrough and get the story without the horrendous gameplay. Shadow Dragon, meanwhile, has better gameplay and difficulty. Not to mention that I love the writing. But, to each his own.
Ironically, I have some bias towards Tellius because said ex was literally named Mia. Funny coincidence. But then again with all the characters in the series, it's hard not to know people who share a name with a character.

On 5/19/2020 at 10:39 PM, This boi uses Nino said:
  Hide contents

Alright then, I'll keep it up
Works for me.

Yeah man, freaking imps or whatever always push me off a million miles.
The hunchbacks or the giant bats? Either one has a random element to it. The thing that makes the final level of Castlevania harder than the earlier ones is the fact that you can memorize the earlier levels, and react in an optimal way to avoid so much as a single hit, barring bosses who can be cheesed with holy water (which you need to keep by not dying). But the eagles dropping hunchbacks are random, and the giant bat AI is still random, and the hunchbacks are random on hitting the ground. Hence the level can't be learnt. You have to react and hope the RNG doesn't decide to screw you, because those hunchbacks move fast.

I know you keep mentioning this, but what were you testing? Something for another LP?
Imgbox.com. I knew Ruben uses it, but I wanted to see how it worked for me. You can call it a success. From this point, I'm kind of continuing because I'm enjoying H5 more than expected (read I'm not getting wrecked six ways to Sunday and making a joke of myself)

Yeah, I don't remember which it is, but Ogma holding his sword in that way reminds me of a single frame in his attack animation. I also messed up by saying "a single frame of his frame" oh me.
That makes more sense. But yeah, Ogma's attack animations, or specific frames, remind me of Cloud as well. I think it's just the purple-ish clothes, over-sized sword, blonde hair, and mercenary status blending together though. Funny enough, I only actually first played Final Fantasy VII last year. So I've had a lot more to do with Ogma than Cloud.

The Christmas cavs are so much fun. Actually it's about the only thing FE7 does right (aside from the level these units come in) You have two incredibly fun cavaliers, one that doubles reliably and another that just does MASSIVE damage. Also like Allen and Lance, in normal mode it takes Allen just one point of speed to double a few archers and oh boi, he just annihilates them with an iron sword!
It's a good archetype. Perhaps my favorite. It's one that can't drag the story down a certain path, but certainly does work in gameplay.

Well perhaps not, but half the other cast... yeah. Oh wait, imagine if Matthis gained H5 bonuses because he is such a wimp. HAahHA that would be hilarious, he would still be a generic cavalier but those are pretty tough in H5
I'd take it. Honestly the poor guy got screwed over. I'm of the understanding back in FE1 he could use a silver lance at base to make up for his lackluster bases? But they took that from him in the remake. Mind I could be wrong, so take that with a grain of salt.

 


no one's reading this because I did the replies early so my PIN is 3672 and no one will ever read it

The late update
 

Spoiler

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For originality's sake, I'm using that same gag to open the LP as last time as well as reusing the image this time. This'll never get old.
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Anthony Burch's love for memes?
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At least they don't jaywalk. Or emulate games. Even these guys have standards.
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I like how lame a pun that name is. I mean, it's clearly derived from Soothsayer, but playing on the fact they are the rulers (sires) of the Samsooth mountains. Should have just called themselves the ghouls. I mean, it's at least threatening. And less lame. Excuse me while I make Wil puns over on Benice's LP.
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I like how they happen to know we just arrived here. How?
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These two are gonna just argue over who sacrifices their life for the other aren't they? Though to be fair, Julian probably thinks he can sneak back in and take the mend staff the boss is holding. Unnoticed. Mind that'll be easier by the time we're finished here.
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For our first action, Lena does just that, and Julian follows. We need to get them as far as possible for my plans to work. That is, if I want them alive. Which I do. Because losing a healer, warp staff and thief at once doesn't sound pleasant. Meanwhile, everyone not named Caeda goes away from them. Caeda goes towards them with a plan to delay their pursuers.
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Fun fact. This guy is actually 23. Just holding that cursed axe was enough to leave him like this. Also I love this whole interaction. "EVIL abomination of an axe". "drinks blood and devours flesh (Could the same not be said of all weapons?), "I'd hate to see you come to harm" (said while giving you a cursed weapon). But perhaps my favorite thing about it,  is that there's houses and a village in the bandit filled mountains. The ones people are supposed to be afraid of. What the hell gives? Do the bandits just stay away because there's a mad man handing out cursed axes? I love this so much.
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So much that I'm gonna give the axe to Barst in case I'm desperate. Like about to be pulverized desperate. I mean, have you seen the fighters on this map? Ogma can't double them. They have 38-40 HP. They're scary... and there's three coming from each direction to get us in a pincer movement right now. Not even counting a swordsman of some note, a couple thieves, and two hunters. I need to even the odds every way I can.
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So I put Caeda on this spot at the edge of the thief's range to block him, and end the turn. This way I can choke the point while a guy who can do all of three damage to Caeda blocks the units who are an actual threat. And thanks to that terrain, there's nothing they can do about it. Because the A.I.'s too dumb to back off and let someone tougher take over.
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I swear my plan broke the A.I. Because this wasn't in it. This idiot literally just walked up and did nothing. NOTHING. HE DIDN'T ATTACK. THIS IS HARD 5. What the hell? Mind this doesn't change my plan at all. Those fighters will still work around him in the same amount of time. It's just hilarious.
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So, now the other fighters and one of the hunters approach the rest of my army. I've given Jagen his silver lance deliberately this time, figuring it can't hurt to try again when I need maximum damage. Barst's using the steel axe, because I'm saving the Devil Axe for when I'm cornered and someone's going to die.
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Enemy phase goes as planned. I mean, the thief working up the nerve to fight Caeda was unexpected, but will help later. No one dodged anything, but that's fine. Because I'm including the enemy in that figure.
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It starts smoothly as I wipe out two enemy fighters without a miss. but my own fighters start failing me. Maybe it's from seeing their brethren butchered so ruthlessly?
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My Christmas Cavs are Abel to give the last fighter a Caining, but  Missfortune strikes when the three misses mean I can't finish off the hunter. Now there's two hunters in range of Barst. Who has 12 hp. This is when I wish I had used the damn devil axe, but given Barst missed, my logic is it would've probably backfired and then they'd gang up on Cord or something. I don't know. I just feel pretty unlucky at this point.
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Then the Hunters demonstrate there's discord in the ranks of the Soothsires, as they plainly don't comprehend teamwork. So one strikes Cord, the other strikes and is missed by Bord. Because apparently teaming up on Barst made too much sense. So much for my unlucky streak. They even neatly positioned themselves so I could theoretically box them both off without putting anyone in range of either if I missed some more. Mind, I don't plan to. That fighter on the mountain moves to a mountain adjacent to the mountain adjacent to Caeda. Or in plain terms, he'll reach her next turn if I don't move her. With that choke point undone, I need to get my troops prepped to take on the other team... pronto.
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First, I move Caeda so I don't forget her later and have her killed by a fighter.
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Next I finish off those Hunters so they won't be pursuing me as I turn around to take on the other fighters... and their friends.
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Wrys heals Ogma, and shows us he is our local Endgame ready healer,while Lena looks on in shock and Marcus uses a fort to start his own healing. Then I position as many troops as far back towards Caeda as I can.
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Next turn, I leave Caeda at the end of the enemy attack range to finish off the damaged thief safely, minimizing the opponents we will fight. Assuming he doesn't think better of it again.
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Wrys heals Ogma, Lena, heals Barst by trading with Wrys to get the heal staff. Turn ends positioned like so.
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Enemy phase, the thief suicides  as planned, but that guy with the sword is headed for Gordin for some reason instead of putting himself a space away from Caeda as intended. Which means next phase's plans are out the window.
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At this point I come up with a new plan. While I was gonna finish off healing Jagen and block off Caeda with the new guy and the cavs, instead I heal Caeda, who can't quite be killed by one opponent at full health, and then using Bord trade the heal staff to Wrys so I can heal Jagen. Now I can use a five person frontline instead of a four, and Caeda, despite being part of it, will be safe. Indeed, this is probably better than what I had planned... so I guess something good came out of it. Now it's time to meet our new team-mate.
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Caeda's not mincing words this time is she? Seeing as I've lost the screencaps in a mishap... I'm gonna have to transcribe the next bit.

Ukyo: A winged steed? What manner of sorcery is this? What sort of hell has that devil sent me to?
Caeda: I know not what devil it is you speak, but this hell is of your own making if you choose to ally with brigands. Yet your manner of dress and speech betray you aren't some ordinary sellsword. Why were you chasing that girl?
Ukyo: What business is it of yours?
Caeda: Stopping an injustice is the business of anyone, lest they become the next to fall before it.
Ukyo: You shame me. I am, Ukyo Tachabana, a traveller from Umasagi village. I was in battle with a vile sorceror. Before the final blow could be struck, he tore open a portal, and hurled me through. I found myself in these mountains. There I witnessed the girl's capture by the bandits. I joined their number with plans to free her in the night... but they went awry when that thief broke her out. I joined the pursuit party to try and find them first... so as to allow their escape. The bandits are quite numerous, and together too much for a lone warrior.
Caeda: Well, it just so happens that there's a small army right behind me that should be able to dispatch them. Leave this rabble. Lend your sword to our cause. When we're finished we'll help you find your way back.
Ukyo: How could I refuse when you put it that way? I'll fight with you until the day I can leave.
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Here's Ukyo Tachabana. His inclusion is one of the most mind boggling things about Shadow Dragon. See, the Myrmidon class didn't actually exist back in FE1 or 3. So there used to be a rather forgettable mercenary in this chapter. But in the remake, there was a deal made with SNK to do a crossover with their Samurai Shodown series. Ukyo Tachabana, surely enough seems like a generic edgelord at first glance. Until you get down to the fact he's dying of tuberculosis, and trying to win the hand of his love, a princess who is forbidden to him because he is but a commoner. He also enjoys embroidery, and likes to write Haikus, which alas, almost always do not get translated to english. The sole exception being in his Samurai Shodown IV ending. Stat wise, he's good enough on luck and speed not to worry about crits, and his defense is okay. His strength is lackluster, being the equal of Marth or Caeda. Notably his HP is 19, to reflect the fact the poor guy's got tuberculosis (often censored in the west, he used to cough up blood even on winning a fight in his home series to denote his poor health). Anyway, hopefully he's not gonna die... because the guy does that enough in his endings for Samurai Shodown. It always gets retconned, but he constantly dies from tuberculosis, whether because it's just how he's inevitably gonna die, or because he gives the cure to a woman who is dying from tuberculosis. I'm sorry for rambling on about this guy, but he's kind of neat. Subverts everything about edgy swordsmen. Also I just gave him a steel sword so as to have another option compared to hitting with that fancy killing edge he brought.
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Anyway, formation.
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The silver lance trick fails me for the first time, which is not good with three fighters and a thief staring me down. Look how much damage that little lock-picking jerk can do by doubling. Why are thieves never this good when they side with you? Also Caeda gets a generic Caeda level. No strength HP or defense... but speed is good.
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Gordin, Cain and Abel manage to remove the first fighter. Plenty of units left to finish the job, and now more room to do it because I can now surround them.
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We see Ukyo's rather nifty animations. Shame he loses them in favor of generic models if he reclasses. I really would've liked to show off his crit and dodge animations, but luck didn't go my way. That said, look at his regular attack. It's pretty good as is.
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Darros and Bord still can't hit the broad side of a barn. But it's okay, because I've cleared them down to one unit... one who could kill someone with an attack if I let him survive to next turn. But he's down to three HP.. and the only units left who can even attack are Draug.. who'll get killed if he misses, Cord, who'll get killed if he misses...
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And my ace in the hole. Or at least my joker in every pack. Julian... who can't miss and therefore can't die. That's all but four enemies dead, in 8 turns. From here I'm gonna heal, visit some houses, have Marth talk with our newbies, and pick off that hunter with our high movement units for EXP.
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Marth tries to get Lena to escape, but offers no real resistance when she decides she wants to help. Thanks for not chasing off that warp staff. We might need that.
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Marth momentarily turns into Roy on the realization he can recruit this thief instead of butchering him for that sweet thief exp.
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Though Julian sure doesn't help his case.
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Marth's still being nice and direct about recruitment. Which is good. Because Julian was gonna write War and Peace (or at least his memoirs) by the time he was done recruiting himself.
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By risking your life for me.
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Well we know we've picked a character. Else we couldn't recruit him, because he'd be a generic. Mind he kind of was a blue unit from the start.
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Julian:Lena! Get back!
Caeda:Stop! He's with us now.
Julian: How can you be sure? He was with them
Lena: Julian, so were you, remember?
Marth: He did help us with that last wave of bandits, and I trust Caeda's instincts.
Julian: I still think you're making a mistake... but I'll let you dig your own graves. Just know, I'm keeping an eye on him.
Ukyo: If it helps you feel better... do that.
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After that exchange, Cain, Abel, and Jagen head into the mountains with Caeda to turn a hunter into prey.
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Turns out he moves if you get so far towards him... so I didn't need Jagen to lure him, and because Caeda doubles, I didn't need Cain either. So they head back while Cord starts his advance with the others, who are now all healed. They should catch up in time for my plan (Abel included despite the head start the others have)
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Next turn Caeda starts an approach from a different direction. We'll see why in a moment, for those who can't guess.
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The alcoholic woman reminds us hunters shouldn't be used at 1 range, because who'd have realized, (in contrast to archers who are totally fine), the drowsy guy goes to sleep giving us tutorials on skill and speed, and I show our final position before enemy phase. Not that it matters. There's three enemies on the map, one of which can't move and none of which can reach us.
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Caeda continues advancing the plan (which should be obvious by now), we aggro one of the remaining fighters with our new position despite not being in range. Guess he's just angry. Cain gets a lecture relating to that mercenary that was on this map in old versions of the game. Guy needs to get the memo that Ukyo's a myrmidon.
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Here we see how my plan's gonna work. After checking my maths was correct and Caeda indeed can't be one shot, I place her as a lure for the scary 40 HP/23atk steel axe fighter. Then I highlight his range and put Barst just out of it so as to lure his buddy the other way. Now I need only worry about one fighter at a time, because Caeda can escape by over the peaks, and by the time steel axe boy gets back his buddy will be dead. You may also note, Barst is on the far side of the fort so we don't reverse chokepoint ourselves.
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Enemy phase is 3-2, with everyone hitting every shot. But Caeda hits twice, and Barst has back up to finish his target. So it's good. Kind of like getting the three S's for Barst. I mean, skill on a fighter helps.
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Castor's face matches his level up. Absolutely pathetic.
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Meanwhile, Marth gets a very good level, at least as far as surviving's concerned. Less being doubled, more defense. Also Caeda returns to safety. Now by the time steel axe boy's back we'll have Cain.
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Final positions on this turn.
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Ogma borrows that killing edge of Ukyo's to take advantage of the extra three points of skill, and two points of strength (also the two points of speed I guess), and we have a lookat how he fairs against the boss. Now I know it's customary to make a crude joke about this guy's name. But if you expect something so lowbrow from me, you must be High Man. 41 HP, and 14 speed. 5 defense plus the gate's bonuses to defense and avoid... gate healing. Yep. Nasty. Not nice at all. Only three of my units could go one round of combat with him and live (Ogma, Ukyo and Caeda if fully healed just). Everyone else would die. I was going to break his handaxe and use the fort to heal, but I've got another plan. I'm gonna use that killing edge to try and get a crit on enemy phase. The plan from there is to bring Ogma back for healing, trade it to Ukyo by chain (hence Lena, Marth and Ukyo's positions), and then have him do the same. From there, I'll have Ogma healed enough to do it again. Either I waste a bunch of killing edge uses, or I achieve my goal and take him down in significantly less than 100 turns. And breaking a hand axe when he can barely hit Ogma or Ukyo is not on my list of priorities.
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Beautiful. Ogma dodged. No need for healing. This could go even quicker.
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Especially if he gets a crit the first time. Thank you RNG.
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Caeda moves onto a fort to heal in case I need her. Cain moves onto the forest to block steel axe man without being in Hyman's way. Ogma's positioned for another shot. Here goes nothing. (seriously, Steel axe boy can't double, crit or one shot Cain, Ogma's safe. Worst that can happen is a miss or two while the enemy hits)
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Catch. Ogma not only dodges... but crits again. Seriously, that's the least effort I've ever put into breaking this guy, and yet it's H5. What sort of irony is that?
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Oh, and he gets a level with no strength or defense out of it. Everything else though. Still.. after two dodges and two crits, I'll take it.
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Cain doesn't crit, but he both dodges and hits. Which is more than good enough. Besides I want this guy to last so Cain and Abel can both level off him.
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Which explains the unsound choice of having Abel try and hit the guy with a javelin. I decide Castor can get away with some chip damage, and he does need exp to make up for that empty level.
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Ukyo and Lena get their possessions back off Ogma. Caeda starts returning now it's clear I won't need her to fight again so she can access the shop. I take a look at the turn count and realize I've spent less time on this than the first chapter or second chapter.
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For enemy phase Cain gets another dodge, and a weak level.
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I switch him with Abel and kills for this level. But seeing as it makes up for the strength I lost with the whole mishap, I'm fine. Could've used the defense.. but I'm fine. Also the guy drops a vulnerary.
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Caeda flies over, picks up a spare Iron axe, three iron swords, a hammer and a bow. Why did I get that bow? I'll never know.
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Fortunately, it's not like we're tight up on money, seeing as Malledus is a good enough tactician to know how to take stuff from dead enemies. Like their ill-gotten money. Also I like how he says "when they fled". Which one of them didn't I kill? *cough* Julian *cough*.

Now, I was going to do a song about the boss seeing as he's usually such a pain.. but I think I'll have to not use it. I mean... he got wrecked in two hits and didn't so much as hit me in return. Very embarrassing. If he didn't die, he'd never live it down. Some day I suppose.

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Remember this joke where I have the thing I'm gonna show next chapter at the end and say "Not yet"? Well we're doing that again. Because I'm unoriginal.

Until I work out how many people I've managed to piss off this update, Farewell.

Deaths: Nil.
Crit Counter:
Caeda:3
Draug:1
MarcusJagen:1
Marth:1
Ogma:3
Generic enemy:1

 

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