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Crime and Punishment - Fire Emblem edition!


WeAreNewcastle1053
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Your party can't progress past the third map because they can't kill the enemy to seize.

I get Arvis to set fire to War Phase Gronder by claiming Sigurd's running there to get set to take his wife back.

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On 1/14/2021 at 10:17 AM, Sooks said:

Someone’s here to see you, and he looks quite violent. Ever heard of a “Kaga”?

I feel like Kaga is simultaneously overrated and underrated.

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On 1/14/2021 at 1:17 PM, Sooks said:

Someone’s here to see you, and he looks quite violent. Ever heard of a “Saint Rubenio”?

My least favorite fe is Awakening.

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Half the Fates fans come after you for daring to think that siding with Hoshido is a bad idea, but I and the other Nohrian scum protect you.

I don’t really like Funeral of Flowers.

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Good. Let the hate flow through you.

BUuuuuuuut now there's another funeral of flowers, courtesy of Lady Rhea for daring to diss her route. YOURS

 

I dislike more FEs than I like.

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You play Conquest and suddenly none of that matters anymore, for you are in cloud nine. But that’s not a punishment.

I think Awakening peaks in the first arc.

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I mean it technically does but that's like preferring one Smash Bros. game over another, it's pretty hard to go wrong with any... and then there's Shadows of Valentia...

I think the director of Vampire Holmes would be a good choice for making a Fire Emblem anime.

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Fodlan authorities find it and confiscate it and then arrest him and he loses his job for seeming like he wants to go back to the punishments from the olden days. Hubert testifies as much, anyway.

I don’t think 3H’s gameplay sucks.

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You have to play Maddening.

I think that if FE is going to have schools/nonmilitary bases, it should have a karaoke minigame.

Edited by Benice
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Instead of 5x, Ephraim and Valter have a dance battle that lasts eight minutes and is an unskippable cutscene. And the dancing doesn't match the music at all.

I wish for the next lord to be a unique unit.

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The mods ban you for not committing a crime and misusing the thread, and then the next lord, a blue haired wielder of Falchion with overall high stats, runs you through with Falchion. Oof.

I describe Fire Emblem as a game series about a bunch of chess pieces with daddy issues.

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Saber runs off with it and has no reason to stay. You can never use him in game ever again. He also takes Celica with him and they flee to achanea, eloping. Alm is absolutely distraught and heads there with his sword and his villager pals go off Saber, meaning that you can never play Echoes ever again because you have no more lords and get a game over as soon as you start the first chapter.

I don’t like Fire Emblem Gacha Heroes.

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