Serenes Forest's Teehee Thread

[null]

AYO

[Venger_06]

We've burned through all the witches
From the paupers to the righteous
In a bubble that will never bust
And it's not enough

[Shrimpica]

Pretty short, and i am not exactly happy with what i wrote, but i hope someone will like it^^

[Lightcosmo]

Doh, lost my RD ISO somehow!

[Interdimensional Observer]

2 hours ago, Shrimpolaris said:

get yourself out of this cycle, and to try and find yourself.

To imagine the possibility, everything from those uneasy feelings towards Tiz years ago to Haven but two months ago, all my gay horny posting joking here, is it all a farce, a persona, a misguided notion, a lie? I have to keep that possibility open. I've known that, but to be reminded so by others. And if it is true, then it is to invalidate emotions, to demean them as mistaken. But, all the good feelings they gave me. I don't want to stigmatize those memories, I don't want to block the desire to fondly revisit them. I want to cry into that body pillow I unseriously wished I had, though I know it might be the wrong thing to do.

You know of all the cliched stories where it turns out a person's memories are fake and they have a crisis over it? "Totally unrealistic. Who cares for that cliche?" -Is what I normally would say, but the idea that things you've thought true could be all a lie, it's kinda resonating with me now. The memories obviously aren't fake, but if they aren't really me... it just doesn't sit well. Since, what then was I doing with my time then? Nothing, it was all wasted. I'm told not to have such low self-esteem, but how would I not were I to accept this? I can't go back and replace those memories with new, ones with meaning, time only marches forward, and our lives are finite. Life is meaningless, I'm willing to accept that, but it's feel very meaningless now.

I am still a child. I'm nearly 30, and I have to have limitations other adults do not. My family reconfirmed a great cause of my regrets and my self-loathing.  "Neurodiverse" is a load of bullcrap, autism is malaise, illness, affliction, something in need of treatment and cure, even when it's mild, it's why I'm in this very situation. It's why I've internalized so much, it's why I've spoken of it now and are being treated this way. I thought Asperger's being "high-functioning" autism meant I stood a chance of an independent life, I don't believe it now -as lazy as shit as I've been, a leech upon my family- this is still very saddening.😭

Maybe I still do have a chance, but, I want it now. Life is too short, I'm being very impatient, I want full self-actualization right now. Because hell it sucks not having it.

 

1 hour ago, Armagon said:

As Shrimpy said, you are not insane. What happened to you shouldn't have had to happen.

I uh, ain't good with consolation when it comes to stuff like this but do take care of yourself man.

Thank you.

Right now, one Xeno character I'm thinking of- Cherenkov. Yes, a temporarily semi-important Xenosaga NPC I met not long ago has reentered my mind. The whole "wanted something, but others denied him it, was mentally unstable" is the reason. Now, my family was more in the right than the space council ever was, and they didn't attempt dystopian utilitarian brainwashing on me, I  still love all involved in the argument very, very much. (I had to talk my way out of a morning jog tomorrow (too cold, too long), the familial surface calm is being restored, as much as the aftermath of this nuclear disaster is going to torment me beneath it.)  -But, I remember the quip where the federation said Cherenkov's human rights would be revoked, and it's stinging again.

I hate dystopia almost as much as you, despite my okaying of it in SMT. I fear dystopia more than you. And yet, I'm not entirely unsympathetic to the notion of getting a little reconditioning in my skull in this emotional moment. If I could receive just enough to resolve these most troublesome matters that result from being autistic, and leave the rest of who I am unaltered. It's a scary thought to think.

 

----

@twilitfalchion @Shrimpolaris @Newtype06 @Sooks @Armagon

I thank all of you. I know this isn't what you expect to find on a relaxing video game forum. How many autistic breakdowns do you see happening on niche video game message boards on a daily basis? Or you know, anywhere on the Internet for that matter. 

I know my family might find what I'm doing right now utterly revolting. And they are right, to an extent. I were on another forum, one less welcoming, one full of insensitive cruel trolls, for I know there are ten billion of them on the Internet, I could not type out such a personal life meltdown. And if I did, I would probably be slammed by haters of the worst kind. I am lucky SF is so small, well moderated (except for this topic😝), and that all of you are so kind, my Internet friends one and all, I thank you!😂😂😂

[Shrimpica]

36 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I'm nearly 30

no

You didn't even reach 30.

You are young.

You still have your life infront of you.

When i told my doctor that my dad is old, the doctor responded with "Don't insult me"

Dad is 60+, Doctor is even older.

36 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

And if it is true, then it is to invalidate emotions, to demean them as mistaken.

In case they don't turn out to be a mistake - They will be part of you

And if they do - You will learn from them

They aren't useless, and never will be.

However it will be up to you, and no one else, to decide what you want to do with them.

36 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

a leech upon my family

That's what family is for. Not to be a leech i mean, but to help each other in times like these.

I have felt the very same the last few years with what my illness has done to me, and my family gets angry everytime i express that "i am a leech" feeling. "We are your parents, we are here to help you". Although ngl when they say that it makes me feel worse.

Not to say they want me to stay that way forever, they have been louder in "you need to find your life" lately, and that "you need to learn to live with your illness", but that's acceptable (no matter how much it angers me, as i can't seem to be able to just live with it), especially since i finished my studies and haven't been doing much (mostly thanks to said illness).

Accept family's help, and when the time comes, you will be the one to help them 😉 

36 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

that all of you are so kind, my Internet friends one and all, I thank you!😂😂😂

Thank you, and you take care of yourself!

And i apologize if all what i say just sounds like empty preaching.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Shrimpolaris

[Acacia Sgt]

I wish I knew what to say...

[Benice]

19 minutes ago, Acacia Sgt said:

I wish I knew what to say...

Yeah, me too...

I just hope you know that you've got me in your corner, @Interdimensional Observer! Prolly doesn't mean much when I'm a degenerate 160year old band kid, but hopefully it helps at least a little. My dad works with children with autism and a lot of my friends have it, so I can tell you that there is a future for you, even if it's hard to see right now.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Benice

[Eltosian Kadath]

6 hours ago, Shrimpolaris said:

whataboutism doesn't make it better.  And anyone who sends death threat or harasses is an idiot, but responding to harassment to Artists with "but the other side" ain't exactly in good faith.

Less whataboutism, and more pointing out the pot is calling the kettle black. No that behavior isn't made better by a different "side" doing it, but ignoring that one side is doing it doesn't make it better either, even when you claim whataboutism when people have to point out the hypocrisy of this. You claim a position that is opposed to both the extremes of the status quo, and this new movement, but all of your comments uniquely condemn one of those sides. As I said before, it's easy to ignore issues with the status quo, even when they don't align with your own beliefs.

 

4 hours ago, Sooks said:

 

And now that I have resolve, I replaced it for vantage on Sothe and he almost one rounded a dragon. I am so proud.

Beautiful...

 

4 hours ago, Sooks said:

Woo, chapter 28 complete! The only chapter left is the finale, although that is two maps. Supposedly the second part is a “glorified cutscene”, so hopefully it won’t take that long, but I don’t know whether I’ll finish the game today or tomorrow.

I guess I can give my little ironman update

To make chapter 28 more interesting, I told Tibarn to wait, and mostly had fun playing with Wrath Resolve Ike wrecking everything. I even put Provoke on him to try and dial his murder spree up even higher.

 

 2 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

*Sigh*😪

I make one little jab at the dinner table, and, I could've predicted the possibility of what would follow. I had a sort of coming-out. It was... explosive. Not what I expecting.

In summary, I should keep away from dating, possibly forever was the subtext. I don't display the emotions and reactions a normal person would, not good for what is supposed to be a mutual relationship. Someone else got very emotional, fearing I would be readily taken advantage of. They thought I was confusing my emotions, that what I really want are friends who share my interests -aka people like all those here. But of course, I didn't mention SF, they don't trust online chatting, or online dating for that matter, not that I don't see their point given the potential wrongdoing that comes with anonymity. Nonetheless, I am backstabbing them with every word I write here. I need to do things like drive and get a job first. That I need to spend less time at home thinking. That too they said. They warned me about things that happen to gays -like a history graduate who watches the news wouldn't realize that!

Their arguments weren't entirely wrong. Basically, everything they said, I've thought of at some point in my years of contemplating my possible sexuality to discredit the possibility that I'm a sexual creature. I have seen the logic. It was just frustrating hearing them say stuff I'm painfully already well aware of. I didn't mean to discredit their arguments, but I nonetheless felt like I had to reject them and make a stand, that I could be gay, while stating I could be totally fine with the possibility of being asexual.

Am I totally insane? Had I any objective righteousness in fighting back? This is really making me hate my autism right now.

*Sigh*

Fuck video games right now. My mood is soured. I need music to calm down.

Sorry your family members were cruel to you in some misguided attempt to protect you. I find in some ways the lack of malice in those kind of cruel acts makes them hurt all the more.

 

 1 hour ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I thank all of you. I know this isn't what you expect to find on a relaxing video game forum. How many autistic breakdowns do you see happening on niche video game message boards on a daily basis? Or you know, anywhere on the Internet for that matter. 

I know my family might find what I'm doing right now utterly revolting. And they are right, to an extent. I were on another forum, one less welcoming, one full of insensitive cruel trolls, for I know there are ten billion of them on the Internet, I could not type out such a personal life meltdown. And if I did, I would probably be slammed by haters of the worst kind. I am lucky SF is so small, well moderated (except for this topic😝), and that all of you are so kind, my Internet friends one and all, I thank you!😂😂😂

I know I am late to this party, but for what it is worth I see you as an internet friend. You remind me a lot of myself sometimes, but a lot less reluctant to share the details of your life than I am. I guess what I am saying is that I empathize with you, and I hope you find that happiness you seek, even if I lack the words to guide you. Alas I am just as lost in this world as you are, even if I am a few years older...

 

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @Julizan !!!

[Venger_06]

1 hour ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

----

@twilitfalchion @Shrimpolaris @Newtype06 @Sooks @Armagon

I thank all of you. I know this isn't what you expect to find on a relaxing video game forum. How many autistic breakdowns do you see happening on niche video game message boards on a daily basis? Or you know, anywhere on the Internet for that matter. 

I know my family might find what I'm doing right now utterly revolting. And they are right, to an extent. I were on another forum, one less welcoming, one full of insensitive cruel trolls, for I know there are ten billion of them on the Internet, I could not type out such a personal life meltdown. And if I did, I would probably be slammed by haters of the worst kind. I am lucky SF is so small, well moderated (except for this topic😝), and that all of you are so kind, my Internet friends one and all, I thank you!😂😂😂

Well, since everyone basically already said what I was going to say, I'm just going to post this. Sorry for not arriving earlier.

1 hour ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

How many autistic breakdowns do you see happening on niche video game message boards on a daily basis? Or you know, anywhere on the Internet for that matter. 

You would be surprised...

Haha...

 Also, @Benice

 

Edited April 30, 2022 by Newtype06

[Benice]

6 minutes ago, Newtype06 said:

Also, @Benice

 

Nice. I think we'd know we'd be getting LAD 2, but it's good to know that the development of the game is very well underway!

Welp, I'd best get on updating the WYBO thread! I'll finish an entry someday...

[Acacia Sgt]

I don't know what's gotten into the Stardew Valley community lately...

But it's... lol

[Interdimensional Observer]

1 hour ago, Shrimpolaris said:

I have felt the very same the last few years with what my illness has done to me, and my family gets angry everytime i express that "i am a leech" feeling.

Same, same, same! They get tired of hearing me call myself a burden and thanking them profusely for putting up with me, one said it drains them. Even though I feel like a madman more than ever now.

1 hour ago, Shrimpolaris said:

Not to say they want me to stay that way forever, they have been louder in "you need to find your life" lately, and that "you need to learn to live with your illness", but that's acceptable (no matter how much it angers me, as i can't seem to be able to just live with it), especially since i finished my studies and haven't been doing much (mostly thanks to said illness).

Again we're alike. Although in my case, I've been the agitator in getting me more active -until I bite back (severely low levels of self-esteem means I don't consider myself a good candidate for any job).

What birds of a feather Fire Emblem of all things have brought together.😆 A Support achieved? Or is that after the timeskip when we're both in better places?

 

49 minutes ago, Eltosian Kadath said:

Sorry your family members were cruel to you in some misguided attempt to protect you. I find in some ways the lack of malice in those kind of cruel acts makes them hurt all the more.

I don't know if it's truly misguided. I just don't know. I really want a therapist now, hopefully a good one, I need a true professional opinion to be the independent arbiter of what arguments are right, which are wrong. I'll yield to their judgement, however it falls.

My practical situation would be no different tomorrow had I not revealed anything today. But that is not what matters, it's a sense of... trajectory, of potentials and hopes? I feel less naive and uncertain, and a whole lot more resolutely pessimistic.

49 minutes ago, Eltosian Kadath said:

You remind me a lot of myself sometimes, but a lot less reluctant to share the details of your life than I am.

I guess that's the luck of the autism? Nobody should be this honest on the Internet, it's much too easy to be abused for it. But, my comfort with SF and everyone here is such that, when I need to scream, I can, and I do. If my foolish openness can assuage others in some capacity, I'm happy knowing I'm giving back a little for all I receive.

49 minutes ago, Eltosian Kadath said:

I guess what I am saying is that I empathize with you, and I hope you find that happiness you seek, even if I lack the words to guide you. Alas I am just as lost in this world as you are, even if I am a few years older...

Thank you. My fellow vagrant of this world.🙂

 

1 hour ago, Acacia Sgt said:

I wish I knew what to say...

Thank you for your sympathies. I understand being left speechless with something like this. It's complicated.😅

 

1 hour ago, Benice said:

Yeah, me too...

I just hope you know that you've got me in your corner, @Interdimensional Observer! Prolly doesn't mean much when I'm a degenerate 160year old band kid, but hopefully it helps at least a little. My dad works with children with autism and a lot of my friends have it, so I can tell you that there is a future for you, even if it's hard to see right now.

I hope I live to be as youthful as you at your age. Tell me, what it was like performing at Carnegie Hall on opening night, you were there, right?

And thank you too.😀

 

46 minutes ago, Newtype06 said:

Well, since everyone basically already said what I was going to say, I'm just going to post this. Sorry for not arriving earlier.

I'll take love. Let's just keep it platonic. Crossing the line is what's the problem for me.😆

 

---

Time to try sleeping now. I jumped back on SF because I simply couldn't sleep. It's difficult to when your mind is racing in every direction and you can't find any refuge for it. I'm feeling a little more exhausted after writing all this.

[Benice]

5 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I hope I live to be as youthful as you at your age. Tell me, what it was like performing at Carnegie Hall on opening night, you were there, right?

NOO, I'VE REVEALED THAT I WAS THE DRAGON LOLI ALL ALONG-

[Acacia Sgt]

1 minute ago, Benice said:

NOO, I'VE REVEALED THAT I WAS THE DRAGON LOLI ALL ALONG-

Was that a second confession?

[MisterIceTeaPeach]

Oh, sorry for being late, but thank you for all the birthday wishes!

I appreciate it! 🙂

Sadly I was too focussed into gaming yesterday (this is all what I did literally) to be here.

I finished Oath In Felghana, Gurumin and the boss rush of Kirby Star Allies on hardest difficulty.

Definitely will play more Ys games from now on since I really enjoyed the 2D Ys games so far.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Julizan

[null]

3 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

----

@twilitfalchion @Shrimpolaris @Newtype06 @Sooks @Armagon

I thank all of you. I know this isn't what you expect to find on a relaxing video game forum. How many autistic breakdowns do you see happening on niche video game message boards on a daily basis? Or you know, anywhere on the Internet for that matter. 

I know my family might find what I'm doing right now utterly revolting. And they are right, to an extent. I were on another forum, one less welcoming, one full of insensitive cruel trolls, for I know there are ten billion of them on the Internet, I could not type out such a personal life meltdown. And if I did, I would probably be slammed by haters of the worst kind. I am lucky SF is so small, well moderated (except for this topic😝), and that all of you are so kind, my Internet friends one and all, I thank you!😂😂😂

Honestly wish I had something more useful or helpful to say, but I'm glad to be able to be supportive, if nothing else.

I hope things improve in the best way possible for you.

--------

 

[Sidereal Wraith]

4 hours ago, Shrimpolaris said:

no

You didn't even reach 30.

You are young.

You still have your life infront of you.

When i told my doctor that my dad is old, the doctor responded with "Don't insult me"

Dad is 60+, Doctor is even older.

But, I’m nearly 30 and…and ancient.

[Punished Dayni]

6 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

*Sigh*😪

I make one little jab at the dinner table, and, I could've predicted the possibility of what would follow. I had a sort of coming-out. It was... explosive. Not what I expecting.

In summary, I should keep away from dating, possibly forever was the subtext. I don't display the emotions and reactions a normal person would, not good for what is supposed to be a mutual relationship. Someone else got very emotional, fearing I would be readily taken advantage of. They thought I was confusing my emotions, that what I really want are friends who share my interests -aka people like all those here. But of course, I didn't mention SF, they don't trust online chatting, or online dating for that matter, not that I don't see their point given the potential wrongdoing that comes with anonymity. Nonetheless, I am backstabbing them with every word I write here. I need to do things like drive and get a job first. That I need to spend less time at home thinking. That too they said. They warned me about things that happen to gays -like a history graduate who watches the news wouldn't realize that!

Their arguments weren't entirely wrong. Basically, everything they said, I've thought of at some point in my years of contemplating my possible sexuality to discredit the possibility that I'm a sexual creature. I have seen the logic. It was just frustrating hearing them say stuff I'm painfully already well aware of. I didn't mean to discredit their arguments, but I nonetheless felt like I had to reject them and make a stand, that I could be gay, while stating I could be totally fine with the possibility of being asexual.

Am I totally insane? Had I any objective righteousness in fighting back? This is really making me hate my autism right now.

*Sigh*

Fuck video games right now. My mood is soured. I need music to calm down.

Ah FFS.

This fucking argument that such things are way above our heads. Seeing someone else online absolutely infantilise those with autism to the point they accused people in relationships with those with it of being pedos..... Yeah this one is a stupid idea. Though I'm going on about something kinda different there. The argument here is that are concerned for your safety if you were to try for a relationship. And in a sense, it's somewhere you should be more open, which leaves anyone at risk, doesn't matter what is a part of them. But that vulnerability is no bad thing in and of itself. It's about finding out who you can be like that with.

On the other arguments, I kinda get them? The getting yourself settled is a good thing. Getting yourself a base where you're working and able to get there yourself helps build yourself up, which is important for relationships too. And to take a swing at myself, like I'm going to get anyone interested in me in the place I'm at (maybe that's not fully true, but having the financial base to be self-reliant if not self-sufficient is a positive). As to how gay people are being treated by a section of the world, I don't know about your area but sometimes you get some downright awful things happening, committed by as few as one person, but none of that means that gay people should retreat underground and feel like they can't be open about themselves.

I got a fair amount of flak when I was younger for my forum diving actually, but in terms of social outlets I didn't have much of them outside school and when this went on I didn't really have a smartphone so it would be just phonecalls for those I knew from elsewhere. And I was kinda bad at that back then. 😛

And technically somebody could be both gay and ace, though that's going into different weeds than the ones we're looking at.

4 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

To imagine the possibility, everything from those uneasy feelings towards Tiz years ago to Haven but two months ago, all my gay horny posting joking here, is it all a farce, a persona, a misguided notion, a lie? I have to keep that possibility open. I've known that, but to be reminded so by others. And if it is true, then it is to invalidate emotions, to demean them as mistaken. But, all the good feelings they gave me. I don't want to stigmatize those memories, I don't want to block the desire to fondly revisit them. I want to cry into that body pillow I unseriously wished I had, though I know it might be the wrong thing to do.

You know of all the cliched stories where it turns out a person's memories are fake and they have a crisis over it? "Totally unrealistic. Who cares for that cliche?" -Is what I normally would say, but the idea that things you've thought true could be all a lie, it's kinda resonating with me now. The memories obviously aren't fake, but if they aren't really me... it just doesn't sit well. Since, what then was I doing with my time then? Nothing, it was all wasted. I'm told not to have such low self-esteem, but how would I not were I to accept this? I can't go back and replace those memories with new, ones with meaning, time only marches forward, and our lives are finite. Life is meaningless, I'm willing to accept that, but it's feel very meaningless now.

I am still a child. I'm nearly 30, and I have to have limitations other adults do not. My family reconfirmed a great cause of my regrets and my self-loathing.  "Neurodiverse" is a load of bullcrap, autism is malaise, illness, affliction, something in need of treatment and cure, even when it's mild, it's why I'm in this very situation. It's why I've internalized so much, it's why I've spoken of it now and are being treated this way. I thought Asperger's being "high-functioning" autism meant I stood a chance of an independent life, I don't believe it now -as lazy as shit as I've been, a leech upon my family- this is still very saddening.😭

Maybe I still do have a chance, but, I want it now. Life is too short, I'm being very impatient, I want full self-actualization right now. Because hell it sucks not having it.

Can one misinterpret their signals and end up thinking they're something they're not? Sure.

For it to go on for so long? A bit of a stretch, but you hear people coming out decades into a marriage with their hetero partner and that just devastates things.

In a way, if it were to turn out you had done so, it can be a bother. It can be a thing that wrecks your head. However, having that clarity is a weight off your back too, a sense that you do understand yourself and now that's one less problem. I suspect that you're having a degree of doubt over it rather than it actually being the case, but I only have these words to work off of.

Not to mention that sometimes you can end up having frustrations exasperated by those you're close to (Trust me, I have that one for a good long while. And I know there's something to it because the only one who never notices is them.), which can make taking a moment to organise and then answer clearly much more difficult.

Sure, you're going to need some help with where you currently are. Who wouldn't? I'm in touch with a job coach myself, maybe something along those lines could help too?

I welcome our D'Artagnan of the boomsketeers

1 hour ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

Same, same, same! They get tired of hearing me call myself a burden and thanking them profusely for putting up with me, one said it drains them. Even though I feel like a madman more than ever now.

Again we're alike. Although in my case, I've been the agitator in getting me more active -until I bite back (severely low levels of self-esteem means I don't consider myself a good candidate for any job).

I don't know if it's truly misguided. I just don't know. I really want a therapist now, hopefully a good one, I need a true professional opinion to be the independent arbiter of what arguments are right, which are wrong. I'll yield to their judgement, however it falls.

My practical situation would be no different tomorrow had I not revealed anything today. But that is not what matters, it's a sense of... trajectory, of potentials and hopes? I feel less naive and uncertain, and a whole lot more resolutely pessimistic.

I guess that's the luck of the autism? Nobody should be this honest on the Internet, it's much too easy to be abused for it. But, my comfort with SF and everyone here is such that, when I need to scream, I can, and I do. If my foolish openness can assuage others in some capacity, I'm happy knowing I'm giving back a little for all I receive.

Oh, what's the phrase for that? I know there's something that would describe it accurately. But I can see that too, life can be a bitch on a basic level and it can be the case that it's a bit much having to hear someone constantly apologise for their existing when you're already involved in their lives.

On the feeling like you can't just put yourself in any role? Same. I look at how some sectors exploit and malign their low-level employees and that makes me wary to go near those, never mind what sectors I've had unpaid experience with. I can't resolve that without getting to what I want to be doing, so that's something to work on. I'm hoping you're better on that than I am.

Hey now, having a sense of what you need to do from here and solidifying it by this feedback isn't a bad thing. Sometimes you need to put thoughts down to arrange them, even if you didn't post them.

Luck? I wouldn't say so, if this community had behaved differently towards you you would have avoided such behaviour. I do think you have that much internet savvy.

[Saint Rubenio]

Friendly reminder that Rogue Legacy 2 is on sale until the 8th of May to celebrate its full release.

Friendly reminder also that I'm extremely annoying about this game and you must forgive me. Look, it's just that it may be even better than Order of Ecclesia. Seriously, the class roster is insane in its diversity. The controls are nice, the sort of middle-ground progression system takes all the best parts of roguelikes and linear games and none of the bad parts, the visuals are gorgeous, the bosses are well designed, it's just... So good. So fucking good.

Also I just found out today that Anna's English voice actress supports NFTs. She's also an anti-vaxxer and a COVID denier, but that's not as comedic.

9 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

*Sigh*😪

I make one little jab at the dinner table, and, I could've predicted the possibility of what would follow. I had a sort of coming-out. It was... explosive. Not what I expecting.

In summary, I should keep away from dating, possibly forever was the subtext. I don't display the emotions and reactions a normal person would, not good for what is supposed to be a mutual relationship. Someone else got very emotional, fearing I would be readily taken advantage of. They thought I was confusing my emotions, that what I really want are friends who share my interests -aka people like all those here. But of course, I didn't mention SF, they don't trust online chatting, or online dating for that matter, not that I don't see their point given the potential wrongdoing that comes with anonymity. Nonetheless, I am backstabbing them with every word I write here. I need to do things like drive and get a job first. That I need to spend less time at home thinking. That too they said. They warned me about things that happen to gays -like a history graduate who watches the news wouldn't realize that!

Their arguments weren't entirely wrong. Basically, everything they said, I've thought of at some point in my years of contemplating my possible sexuality to discredit the possibility that I'm a sexual creature. I have seen the logic. It was just frustrating hearing them say stuff I'm painfully already well aware of. I didn't mean to discredit their arguments, but I nonetheless felt like I had to reject them and make a stand, that I could be gay, while stating I could be totally fine with the possibility of being asexual.

Am I totally insane? Had I any objective righteousness in fighting back? This is really making me hate my autism right now.

*Sigh*

Fuck video games right now. My mood is soured. I need music to calm down.

Nooooooo... That's not true at all. Insane? No, you're different. That's the whole point.

I'm incredibly late to the punch, I know (curse you, timezones!), but don't you let stuff like this bring you down. You are who you are, and that's perfectly fine.

I'm sorry. I wish I could say something deeper, or more useful. Yet all I can think of is, hang in there and soldier on.

8 hours ago, Newtype06 said:

Serenes light theme FTW!

Yeah, Serenes dark is just not nice. Besides, the light theme is green. Me likey green.

4 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I don't know if it's truly misguided. I just don't know. I really want a therapist now, hopefully a good one, I need a true professional opinion to be the independent arbiter of what arguments are right, which are wrong. I'll yield to their judgement, however it falls.

Well, I can tell you that I had sessions with a psychologist on a weekly basis for just a little short of 10 years, and it really, really helped me. Of course, finding a good therapist can be difficult, but when you do, it's a great thing to have. Or at least it was, in my case.

[Sidereal Wraith]

Another Saturday, another 3 bottles of whisky.

[BrightBow]

12 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Also I just found out today that Anna's English voice actress supports NFTs. She's also an anti-vaxxer and a COVID denier, but that's not as comedic.

And they cast her as the character who makes money puns while cheerfully slicing people's throats.

Makes sense, I suppose.

[Armagon]

8 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

and that all of you are so kind, my Internet friends one and all, I thank you!😂😂😂

And thank you as well.

Honestly, i'm still not sure how to respond in moments like these and i do feel like others have coveyed the points better than i have, but i want to say that we do listen (or rather, read in this case lol). So yeah, we're here if you wanna talk about something (even if we may not know how to respond).

And like I said before, take care of yourself 👍

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Also I just found out today that Anna's English voice actress supports NFTs

In-character tbh.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Armagon

[Armagon]

Ok so i've noticed something very important about Xenoblade 3 gameplay but we don't have confirmation

The party seems to be doing pretty well against those enemies despite being several levels lower. I mean, probably optimized, sure, but then i reviewed other footage where the party and enemies are closer in level and i noticed something: no indication of how much level, at least not one that i can see. Usually, enemy name bars or the targeting reticule would be a certain color depending on how closer they are to your level but i can't find anything of the sort in the footage we've gotten. Are level penalties truly gone in this game? Cause they technically were in Xenoblade X and 2/Torna, they were just miniscule compared to Xenoblade 1.

.....Nah, i don't want to lean definitively on something. I get the feeling we won't know how it is until people are able to play the games themselves.

Edit: also those are low HP values for those levels, so i really do think individual character stats are lower to compensate there being six-seven of you.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Armagon

[Lightcosmo]

@Interdimensional Observer I'll pray that everything gets better for you! I would prefer not to give my personal opinion on how you should handle things, as someone who made way too many mistakes as a general (mostly in teen years)

But i don't mind listening if you need to let out feelings! ❤️