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We L(Ike) Hellos, Games and Teehees

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1 minute ago, lightcosmo said:

I guess so? 

No, you think so. It is the truth.

1 minute ago, lightcosmo said:

But we were supposed to be against 3H together! This betrayal cant be forgotten!

Dangit! I must muster up some rage against Three Houses to amend this. Quick, someone say the name Hilda.

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1 minute ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But... The likes of Telltale, Dontnot and Quantic Dreams sacrifice literally everything that makes a game a game precisely for the sake of their cHOicE-dRIVeN NARraTiVEE. What do they prioritize, then?

For games where the gameplay is supposed to be dialogue choices and the narrative is the primary point, then that should probably be priority 1. As for what they prioritise, the only ones I have are Fahrenheit and Heavy Rain and maybe some of Telltale's earlier titles (like, Sam and Max, or the Back to the Future game they did), so I can't tell you about their more recent ideas or priorities.

7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jesus fucking Christ what have I done.

You right now.

8 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dangit! I must muster up some rage against Three Houses to amend this. Quick, someone say the name Hilda.

Hildegarde.

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1 minute ago, Dayni said:

For games where the gameplay is supposed to be dialogue choices and the narrative is the primary point, then that should probably be priority 1. As for what they prioritise, the only ones I have are Fahrenheit and Heavy Rain and maybe some of Telltale's earlier titles (like, Sam and Max, or the Back to the Future game they did), so I can't tell you about their more recent ideas or priorities.

Ahahaha... Oh, Heavy Rain. I'm so fond of that game. It makes me laugh so much. Here, have a clip:

I really recommend watching this clip. This clip just... perfectly encapsulates everything wrong with this game. All of it. It's magical. Well okay maybe not as much as SHAUN, but it's pretty amazing nonetheless.

Anyway, yeah, that's fair enough. I've seen a lot of these games in Youtube, which is the same as playing it yourself, and... They do not do a good job with their choice-driven narratives. There are barely any meaningful choices to be had, and more often than not the narrative itself is all fucked too.

1 minute ago, Dayni said:

I was trying to come up with a contraction of Hanneman and Herman's names to fit the occassion.

But then I realized... there is no contraction. It's just Herman.

Oh my God.

They really are the same person. Now everything makes sense...

(Berwick Saga spoilers ahead for anyone who cares)

Spoiler

We know Jacharam uses basically the same body morphing technique as TWSITD, since he looked exactly the same as the true Herman. Except... What if it wasn't just IntSys copying Kaga as usual? What if it is the same technique? Herman really was one of TWSITD all along!

Man, dude got around. The most (and only) successful double agent in the Church of Seiros, he was never found out, surviving the war as a result; then he moved to Lazberia and climbed ranks until he was next in line to be Pope of Raze and had the King of Veria eating out of his palm. The entire world was just about in his grasp.

Sheesh... Thank goodness the legendary hero Derrick was there to put a stop to his designs - he was too dangerous to be left alive!

That has been Ruben's Crackpot Theory of the day. Questions below.

1 minute ago, Dayni said:

Hildegarde.

Wrong, but that's a pretty cool name. In the Rogue Legacy 2 name list it goes.

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1 minute ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I was trying to come up with a contraction of Hanneman and Herman's names to fit the occassion.

But then I realized... there is no contraction. It's just Herman.

Hannerman.

2 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

They really are the same person. Now everything makes sense...

(Berwick Saga spoilers ahead for anyone who cares)

  Reveal hidden contents

We know Jacharam uses basically the same body morphing technique as TWSITD, since he looked exactly the same as the true Herman. Except... What if it wasn't just IntSys copying Kaga as usual? What if it is the same technique? Herman really was one of TWSITD all along!

Man, dude got around. The most (and only) successful double agent in the Church of Seiros, he was never found out, surviving the war as a result; then he moved to Lazberia and climbed ranks until he was next in line to be Pope of Raze and had the King of Veria eating out of his palm. The entire world was just about in his grasp.

Sheesh... Thank goodness the legendary hero Derrick was there to put a stop to his designs - he was too dangerous to be left alive!

That has been Ruben's Crackpot Theory of the day. Questions below.

Spoiler

I'm pretty sure around the point it was revealed in your LP I was shit talking Tomas's role and comparing it unfavourably to Herman.

Admittedly I'm not as fond of Jacharam having the shapeshifting, necessary as it likely would have been as it's not established in the setting and if it's that effective how much more could be done with it? Could they have just faked Volcens ending up in an accident and switch him out for an agent? Could they have taken more of the lords over time? Why not if not? Limits matter in a hard magic setting and it does feel like Lazberia is on the low end compared to FE as a whole, but I will admit I'm asking myself because it's on the mind now.

Though I bet he'd have been supplanted somehow, being Raze Pope seems to be a risky prospect in a world where Arcturus exists many of the larger factions has their master plot going on in some form.

5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahaha... Oh, Heavy Rain. I'm so fond of that game. It makes me laugh so much. Here, have a clip:

I really recommend watching this clip. This clip just... perfectly encapsulates everything wrong with this game. All of it. It's magical. Well okay maybe not as much as SHAUN, but it's pretty amazing nonetheless.

What a wuss, can't even kill the protag with a gun despite having the time to aim and then cracks upon thinking he's done it.

That won't be a major criminal that's for sure.

The first one's even funnier to me, just, why does it end like that.

12 minutes ago, Acacia Sgt said:

 

musica-music.gif

(Turns out it's from something else after all, I thought it was from this.)

6 minutes ago, Shrimpolaris said:

wDmU59f.png

Is this the origin story of a villain?

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Just now, Dayni said:

(Turns out it's from something else after all, I thought it was from this.)

Crossover in-game.

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1 minute ago, Dayni said:

Is this the origin story of a villain?

HvMJpiP.png

Although atm i wouldn't call her a villain

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2 hours ago, Benice said:

Huh. I could have sworn... Ah well.

I think I might remember mentioning AA at some point, but I don't recall anything beyond that. I might've looked something up about the game and saw it was a VN, which is what AA is so I made the connection, but that's all that comes to mind.

Nothing to worry about though, my memory is just ass anyway.

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23 minutes ago, Dayni said:

Hannerman.

Oh Christ.

Quote

 

  Hide contents

I'm pretty sure around the point it was revealed in your LP I was shit talking Tomas's role and comparing it unfavourably to Herman.

Admittedly I'm not as fond of Jacharam having the shapeshifting, necessary as it likely would have been as it's not established in the setting and if it's that effective how much more could be done with it? Could they have just faked Volcens ending up in an accident and switch him out for an agent? Could they have taken more of the lords over time? Why not if not? Limits matter in a hard magic setting and it does feel like Lazberia is on the low end compared to FE as a whole, but I will admit I'm asking myself because it's on the mind now.

Though I bet he'd have been supplanted somehow, being Raze Pope seems to be a risky prospect in a world where Arcturus exists many of the larger factions has their master plot going on in some form.

 

Spoiler

You and me both lol I was waiting all LP to make the unfavorable comparisons.

You make fair points here. There is no establishment of shapeshifting in the game's lore. Perhaps he simply was a lookalike, but that's too convenient. I do think replacing Volcyboy would've been unfeasible even if Jacharan could change his appearance to match his, however. Much, much easier to silently murder and replace some minister than the king himself, not to mention one as paranoid as Volcens in the middle of a war. He probably slept surrounded by guards.

Ahahahahaha... Yeah, true. It's no good to be a villain when you live in the same world as the man with the biggest case of cutscene powercreep ever.

 

Quote

What a wuss, can't even kill the protag with a gun despite having the time to aim and then cracks upon thinking he's done it.

That won't be a major criminal that's for sure.

Probably just wanted a quick buck for dope. It doesn't really matter. He's not there to be a compelling character, he's there so Cagey Davey can put more QTEs and completely useless choices into his game.

Quote

The first one's even funnier to me, just, why does it end like that.

David Cage's self-insert's thought process:

Go in.

Mistreat French prostitute.

Heroic fat man jumps in to save her.

Heroic fat man fails miserably.

??????????

Give up for no reason.

Leave.

??????????

Profit(?)

Lauren was tripping balls, Troy clearly was not an ex-client who thinks.

Quote

 

 

Edited by Saint Rubenio

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Just now, Armagon said:

unknown.png?width=769&height=432

@Shrimpolaris I had to pause the episode at this moment. Make it stop, Amogus is a curse.

Aka is up with the memes ya know

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3 hours ago, Sooks said:

I don’t get why Petra’s design seems to be popular, she’s literally wearing a net.

I just said it was neat.

12 minutes ago, Shrimpolaris said:

Aka is up with the memes ya know

Yes but i was not mentally prepared for this one.

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2 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Probably just wanted a quick buck for dope. It doesn't really matter. He's not there to be a compelling character, he's there so Cagey Davey can put more QTEs and completely useless choices into his game.

That's not much of a narrative choice though is it? "Get shot lol" doesn't have impact if you proceed to shrug it off.

4 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

David Cage's self-insert's thought process:

Go in.

Mistreat French prostitute.

Heroic fat man jumps in to save her.

Heroic fat man fails miserably.

??????????

Give up for no reason.

Leave.

??????????

Profit(?)

Lauren was tripping balls, Troy clearly was not an ex-client who thinks.

So, after asserting his dominance over the situation by beating an old man whose health's poor, he decides he's done with it?

Seems like he's got some severe memory issues.

3 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
  Reveal hidden contents

You and me both lol I was waiting all LP to make the unfavorable comparisons.

You make fair points here. There is no establishment of shapeshifting in the game's lore. Perhaps he simply was a lookalike, but that's too convenient. I do think replacing Volcyboy would've been unfeasible even if Jacharan could change his appearance to match his, however. Much, much easier to silently murder and replace some minister than the king himself, not to mention one as paranoid as Volcens in the middle of a war. He probably slept surrounded by guards.

Ahahahahaha... Yeah, true. It's no good to be a villain when you live in the same world as the man with the biggest case of cutscene powercreep ever.

 

Spoiler

I realise Volcens was a stretch, but in terms of negotiating a conquest it would expedite things more quickly if you can just give the order to surrender. Though that could be explained by the infiltration being a plan for the Raze church but not Raze itself. The church might have been making that move as part of the long term plan to prepare for any internal strife around a preferred heir against Manaris, a trick that could give them the edge. That paranoia from Volcens arguably would make this plan risky too, especially for a cardinal to be directly involved in. If he suspected something.....

Though we did talk about the possible reasons why he wouldn't have acted against Herman as well.

Arcturus needs to get compared to other powerful gaming characters.

1 minute ago, Armagon said:

unknown.png?width=769&height=432

@Shrimpolaris I had to pause the episode at this moment. Make it stop, Amogus is a curse.

  She could be playing it too.......

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21 minutes ago, Armagon said:

I just said it was neat.

I’m not talking about here specifically, although now that I type this, she is winning the poll on the subject in the thread on the subject.

Then again, with designs of this quality, being the most popular one doesn’t necessarily mean it’s all that loved…

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Fucking nap from Hell. Now I cannot sleep.

19 minutes ago, Dayni said:

That's not much of a narrative choice though is it? "Get shot lol" doesn't have impact if you proceed to shrug it off.

There is absolutely nothing in this chapter that hs any long-term impact lol. Absolutely nothing. No matter what happens, it's just forgotten the moment the chapter ends. Like most of the game, honestly.

Quote

So, after asserting his dominance over the situation by beating an old man whose health's poor, he decides he's done with it?

Seems like he's got some severe memory issues.

In fairness, Scott Shelby isn't just any old man with poor health. He's a magical fatso! If you press the QTEs, he somehow manages to win the fight against a dude half his age who has definitely been in more than a couple bar brawls, despite getting exactly four good hits on him and otherwise getting ragdolled the entire fight.

But that's more to blame on the choreography of the fight being hilariously bad. It somehow looks almost less believable than Steven Seagall's fight scenes. Scott just keeps dodging despite being slow as molasses. Half the time he doesn't dodge even if you press the button, he just tanks hits because he's magical.

Then later in the game he fights two professional bodyguards with guns, unarmed, and wins by double knockout in like half the time it takes him to get two good punches on Abusive Skinhead overthere, which is enough to get him to run away. Because he's magical.

...Scott is a massively stupidly-written character the entire game, so this isn't exactly remarkable. Heck, it's the least of his writing's problems.

God I love this interactive movie. It's so bad. The fact that it once had, and still kinda has, a legion of fans amazes me. There are plot holes and problems small and large everywhere you look.

Quote
  Hide contents

I realise Volcens was a stretch, but in terms of negotiating a conquest it would expedite things more quickly if you can just give the order to surrender. Though that could be explained by the infiltration being a plan for the Raze church but not Raze itself. The church might have been making that move as part of the long term plan to prepare for any internal strife around a preferred heir against Manaris, a trick that could give them the edge. That paranoia from Volcens arguably would make this plan risky too, especially for a cardinal to be directly involved in. If he suspected something.....

Though we did talk about the possible reasons why he wouldn't have acted against Herman as well.

Arcturus needs to get compared to other powerful gaming characters.

 

Spoiler

Yeah, that actually makes sense. The Church of Raze benefitted from a drawn-out conflict. It gave them more time to get rid of the loose ends and set the stage for their plans... Though it seems they failed to take Raze's Wonder Duo into account.

About Volcens's paranoia... Herman did try to present himself as the loyal protector and make everyone else out to be the snakes. I guess at that point, Jacharam was banking on his own abilities for manipulation and Volcyboy's gullibility. Which, to be fair, is a pretty safe bet. The man is amazingly useless.

Arcturus could beat Thanos.

 

Edited by Saint Rubenio

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Ferdie and Bernie looking hella nice

Caspar's one step away from super saiyan

also up to Ch. 6 of a new Genealogy playthrough for the anniversary

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When I can finally beat Superbosses I couldn't before... ah, feels good...

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>Xenoblade 2 battle
>Zeke switches out KOS-MOS for Zenobia
>Zenobia: "My wind outmatches KOS-MOS' firepower"

.....five years of owning this game and i'm just learning Blades can comment on other Blades upon being switched.

But i feel like a crazy person because i cannot find documentation of this, at least not on the Wiki. And Xenoblade 2 is one of the few 1st party Switch games to not allow video recording so you'll have to take my word for it.

Anyways

FTP3r0kVsAAkKTW?format=jpg&name=large

I really hope Xenoblade 3 pulls a Tantal and just has a weather condition where the area gets swarmed by Lv.80+ enemies.

1 hour ago, Sooks said:

Then again, with designs of this quality, being the most popular one doesn’t necessarily mean it’s all that loved…

Yeah like in the grand scheme of things, these designs are incredibly lazy. Like i said, these feel like meme edits. It is totally possible to have different takes on a character without just photoshopping a different hairstyle onto them. Blatant or subtle, there are many ways to do it. Three Hopes designs do neither.

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4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In fairness, Scott Shelby isn't just any old man with poor health. He's a magical fatso! If you press the QTEs, he somehow manages to win the fight against a dude half his age who has definitely been in more than a couple bar brawls, despite getting exactly four good hits on him and otherwise getting ragdolled the entire fight.

But that's more to blame on the choreography of the fight being hilariously bad. It somehow looks almost less believable than Steven Seagall's fight scenes. Scott just keeps dodging despite being slow as molasses. Half the time he doesn't dodge even if you press the button, he just tanks hits because he's magical.

Then later in the game he fights two professional bodyguards with guns, unarmed, and wins by double knockout in like half the time it takes him to get two good punches on Abusive Skinhead overthere, which is enough to get him to run away. Because he's magical.

But could he take on the office bugs?

 

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4 hours ago, BrightBow said:

But could he take on the office bugs?

 

Pfffhahahaha... I've heard a lot of wonderful things about Fahrenheit, but this defies my wildest expectations. Look at the way he dodges! It's absolutely hilarious! His torso just snaps to the sides and instantly resets back to its original position!

Oh my God, and then it ends on an "eet wuz ol ah drwim" moment. His coworkers just let this clearly mentally unwell person walk out immediately after having an episode. Perfect. Brilliant. Cagey Davey proves once again that he's truly a genius of our era. He has made some of the best games ever and he has revolutionized the videogame industry. A real visionary.

Anyway, to answer your question: Yes. Scott Shelby could probably take on the bugs. He has a wizardry far more powerful than anything they could muster: Plot armor.

Edited by Saint Rubenio

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19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pfffhahahaha... I've heard a lot of wonderful things about Fahrenheit, but this defies my wildest expectations. Look at the way he dodges! It's absolutely hilarious! His torso just snaps to the sides and instantly resets back to its original position!

I love how that specific sequence repeats several times. Like, did anyone really think this scene needed to be even longer? There are so many parts where you'd think it would end, but it just keeps going and going, becoming goofier each time.

But then again, I think that sequence where Lucas' apartment is trying to kill him was also needlessly long.

Edited by BrightBow

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2 minutes ago, BrightBow said:

I love how that sequence repeats several times. Like, did anyone really think this sequence needed to be even longer?

I was watching the video and I kept thinking "okay, so it's going to end now right" and then I looked at the time bar and it wasn't even close.

I guess Davey was really really proud of those dodging animations.

2 minutes ago, BrightBow said:

But then again, I think that sequence where Lucas' apartment is trying to kill him was also needlessly long.

I gotta give it to 'em. Cagey Davey may be a complete, disgusting hack, but at least his games are an unending source of hilarious so-bad-it's-good material. I get so many laughs out of his games.

...Uh, as long as women aren't involved. You think Kaga treats women poorly? Get a load of this boy. At least Kaga has regular girls just minding their own business, and even some tough and badass women mixed in with the victims of mind-control. In Cagey's games, women exist to get raped and/or abused and that's it. And that's not just me saying that - it is a known fact that Cagey once said, and I quote, "in my games, all women are whores." Jesus fucking Christ.

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11 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Uh, as long as women aren't involved. You think Kaga treats women poorly? Get a load of this boy. At least Kaga has regular girls just minding their own business, and even some tough and badass women mixed in with the victims of mind-control. In Cagey's games, women exist to get raped and/or abused and that's it. And that's not just me saying that - it is a known fact that Cagey once said, and I quote, "in my games, all women are whores." Jesus fucking Christ.

During the dance bonus scene, of all possible choices they also used his model to dance together with Carla in her underwear.

And yes, David Cage has a model in Fahrenheit. He speaks directly to the audience at the start of the game.

 

Edited by BrightBow

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