rycoa [RCYOA] You Are Chasing After a Man on a Bike

[AnonymousSpeed]

33 minutes ago, Benice said:

D) Deny this development.

"oh hi Lethe and Sothe," you say, hearing out their long speech about infidelity. You casually drink some coffee and then think about what to do.

"Well, I know Ike tried to shoot me in a courtroom," you admit, "but he was just hangry. I don't think he was a bad person. He wouldn't do that." You can't say that for sure, you really didn't know Ike very well. Heck, you didn't play any Fire Emblem game which he was in- as a man of true taste you only ever played Fire Emblem: Binding Blade. Still, you said nice things about him already and backing away in light of new developments would make you look bad because we live in a society.

You decide to put them to a test.

A) Invite Sothe and his children on the Jerry Springer show- they will use DNA testing to determine if the affair happened

B) Use your vampire powers to scare Lethe into transforming- if she can do it, she probably wasn't Ike's wife

C) Get a sword and threaten to cut Sothe's children in half- something something, he'll compromise if they're really his, it was in a book once you think

D) Accuse Lethe of deviancy for marrying someone who ages much slower than her- her level of indigence should provide clues

E) Check the county records

[Benice]

A)

However, because it's Jerry Springer, he also invited the rest of the female cast of Tellius and his own children too; all of their children were the children of Ike.

What do you do?

A) Wonder how Ike managed to get around that much

B) Give up and go back home to drink coffee

C) See if Mark is OK

D) Accuse Elincia of scandal instead so that Ike is remembered fondly.

[Solvaij]

C) See if Mark is OK

After all this adventuring in the wacky world of Fire Emblem night time TV, Mark's misdeeds have been entirely forgotten. Unfortunately, he's disappeared and won't answer your calls.

A) Forget about Mark. He's was lame anyway. Go chat with Jill instead

B) Ask Jerry Springer if he and the Ike-spawn children can help locate him.

C) Contact the remnants of the bicycle gang

D) Grab a magnifying glass and look for clues the old fashion way: with your eyes

[AnonymousSpeed]

21 hours ago, Solvaij said:

D) Grab a magnifying glass and look for clues the old fashion way: with your eyes

You leave Ike's harem and progeny and return to the site of his funeral, the last place you saw Mark. Chairs are thrown all around and the cool night has just fallen. You take out your magnifying glass that you always keep around and begin to scan the grass for evidence of your best friend, Mark.

A clue! A trail of tattered leather and footballs! Football was one of Mark's favorite things before he was a leather-wearing biker, though the torn material leaves you worried. You follow the trail to a lake, where it ends. Across the water, you can see a warehouse with the lights on.

A) Activate your Vampire Sonar to find hidden clues

B) Swim across the lake to the warehouse

C) Investigate under the water

D) Find the remnants of the bicycle gang and ask them about Mark

[Benice]

B)

Swim across the lake to the warehouse. However, once there, you see Ragnell and Alondite being wielded by Ike, who had used the Black Knight's warp powder to escape the funeral after faking his death!

Ike does not see you. What do you do?

A) Invite the Tellius cast so Ike can reunite with his Waifus and Husbandos

B) Conclude that Ike is Mark

C) Ask him how he managed to father over 100 children

D) Try to scare him away by pretending to be a ghost.

[AnonymousSpeed]

On 6/2/2020 at 1:22 AM, Benice said:

C) Ask him how he managed to father over 100 children

You tap Ike on the shoulder. The warrior spins around, swords in hand (he has both in the same hand), and it quickly becomes apparent that this is the fallen version of Ike from Fire Emblem: 3 Heroes. He looks mad.

You ask him your question. "How did you father so many children? Are you a hoe?"

Ike answers with a viscous slashing attack! You're not sure if he's mad about your second question or just mad in general, but now it's time to engage in a fight!

A) Say "hoes mad" and run away

B) Stand there and get cut in half like a man

C) Bite Ike's neck and suck his blood

[null]

11 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

A) Say "hoes mad" and run away

You spit your verbal venom at Ike and run for your life, knowing that he's a dangerous force to be reckoned with even when he's not enraged, and even more so when his emotions overcome him. By chance, the Black Knight has apparently returned from the dead and engages Ike in a duel after catching the Radiant Hero by surprise and stealing back Alondite. This confrontation gives you just enough of a distraction to make your escape, but you're interested to see what might happen in BK and Ike's battle. What do you do?

A) Stay behind some cover and watch the bloodbath.

B) Keep running and forget about the battle happening behind you.

C) Watch the battle while also recording it. Video of this would make some great cash for your already light pockets.

D) Report it to the police and hope they can stop the epic duel themselves.

[AnonymousSpeed]

D

You call the police on your Nokia. They quickly arrive and, using their sacred weapon of "Gun," shoot Ike and Black Knight so that they keel over and die.

A) Get caught for nonviolent drug possession

 B) Realize it's a bad time to try and come up with police jokes and complain about it on anonymous image boards

C) Resume searching for Mark

D) Get some dinner, it's 3 AM and you're hungry

Edited June 8, 2020 by AnonymousSpeed

[AnonymousSpeed]

On 6/8/2020 at 3:34 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

A) Get caught for nonviolent drug possession

Darn, you knew you shouldn't have brought your Oxycontin with you. You get thrown in jail immediately, and you find your cellmate is:

A) Mark

B) Jill

C) Lethe

D) A very large man