King of the Hill

[Hanes]

Ya know it's now the Single Epic Hill Alliance right? Since I merged both the parallel world and the NHA hill, it's just one.
 

Also, I see my hill still stands atop, lol!

@Evalko is found in the open, with a confused face, and is sent back to his dimension. How is it unethical if he gets to have tremendous fun thinking it's all real? He's immortal anyways and he isn't hurting anyone.

[nepheknee]

I thank @AnonymousSpeed for freeing me, as I wasn't aware I was in a cognitive realm. When Nino brings me back to the cognitive realm, I simply bring myself back to the real world again now that I've been made aware what's happening.
It seems rather traitorous of AnonymousSpeed to help me considering I'm the Alliance's enemy, but hey, no one said betrayals were against the rules.
I turn my attention to the broken crumbling palace on the hill.
"Hm. Wouldn't hurt to crumble it a bit more."
Norne shoots Twilit again by my command, instantly defeating him due to him being a flier.
I cause an earthquake, just to mess up the NHA as they try to rebuild. Then, I load penguins into cannons and fire them at the NHA at high speeds. The penguins slam into each member of the NHA as well as several buildings, and as the NHA is struggling to figure out what's even going on, I reclaim the hill and my Norne flag.
I am King of the Hill.

[Punished Dayni]

Realising Evalko has returned to take the hill again, I decide on an action that might banish him for good.

I come to him claiming the NHA had betrayed me and that I had come to swear a new allegiance while discussing my tale of having to pass through multiple dimensions after his attack. During my description of the first, he asks me the dimension's name and I suggest he guess. After promising I'd say it eventually, he assents.

"It starts with a syllable in your name."

"Ey?"

"No, the next one"

"Val?"

"Yes, and finishes on the first letter."

"A? Valla? That was easy."

"Quite" I finish, continuing to explain my tale of a desert planet until Evalko starts vanishing out of this dimension, but not before I give him the Norne flag. With a single word I had the dragon gone and just in case I took out a sword that looked like a chainsaw and request the penguins to help solidify the building before being dismissed. I also send out letters indicating I was now the King once more.

The new King of the Hill starts on fortifying the granary-turned fortress again.

[Hanes]

Anonymus Speed was being ethical...

Anyways I guess nobody cares that it's the SINGLE EPIC HILL ALLIANCE now...

oh well...  anyways remember the mountain can't be messed up because of my enchantment. So I want to finish watching a video and I go and meet Evalko to settle this once and for all...

"You monster, I am now more powerful than any God, than any human being... if I wish it I could be King of the Hill but I'mnice beyond bounds now... you should repent!"
"Repent my ass! You think you're a God? You don't even know what that means!"

Evalko summons several ninja around me, but that trick won't work ever again. I let a thunderbolt come from the sky and I extend my arms; I let it hit me, conducting itself through my body and then onto the metal shurikens, since the shurikens are headed towards me on a horizontal plane and the electricity went from me and horizontally was shot out through my arms, it pushes all the shurikens to opposite directions to collide with other shurikens and then spread the electrical current further, causing a chain reaction that eventually hits their masters.

I rush to Evalko and charge up a powerful hit which he dodges and teleports elsewhere, I rush once more and again he dodges, next I approach much the same way but at the last moment I go for a hook instead of an uppercut and hit him square in the rib, sending him flying. I utilize Elwind's power to fly me towards where he went. I find him encrusted on a mountain and repeatedly punch him, so much so that I tunnel through the mountain and once again send him flying. I go once more to his direction to try and hit him but Norne appears and directs an arrow that I barely dodge.

"Drat, Norne, what are you doing? I allowed you to live your life in peace!"
"... Hubbie, please be okay"
"... ?! You mean Evalko?"
"Yes! And I won't let you harm him" she said as she aimed one powerful shot at me and yet again misses.
"Fat chance of you hitting me, missy, I have no intention to harm you and neither could you harm me, just leave"
"No! hiyaah!" she responded and fired once again.
"S*sigh* Yareyare daz-"
"She may not hit you, but I can!" responds Evalko as he rises from the ground and punches me square in the back.

That hit sent me flying! And I am encrusted in the mountain now, Norne fires at me repeatedly and Evalko sends energy blast after energy blast from his palms that greatly hurt me, but then a bow breaks through and hits Norne in the chest.

"My Dear, rise! You can't die, you're unbeatable!" And from the shadows arrives Rebecca (My waifu ❤️❤️).
"Stinking woman, get away if you don't want to di-" Howled Evalko but was interrupted by Norne.
"No, I will take care of her, we will prove which Sniper is the best! A duel to the death!"
"I'm not scared of you!" Shot back Rebecca, literally and both start an archer duel, injuring both in the process, Norne starts to best Rebecca, landing a few lucky hits and just as the last blow that will most certainly defeat Rebecca...

"NO!" I fly and take the shot, tinking of me. "I have recovered..."
"That's cheating!" Shouted Evalko

And a figth starts, Rebecca is newly inspired and equals Rebecca in prowess, and the battle is locked in a stalemate, likewise, me and Evalko are once again fighting, around equal in power... see our power levels are very high, to the point where a difference in a 1000 is minimal, here what will help one win is their own resolve to protect what they love most.



Locked in battle, the god Evalko with his wife, and the High Mandate Nino accompanied by his lover Rebecca; the battle proves to drag on and keep lasting, will Nino's friends be able to pull through and arrive in time, or will Evalko's resolve be greater and best Nino, only fate will tell!

[Hanes]

god damn it I got ninja'd curse you SF for notifying me way too slowwwww!!!!!!!!!!!

[nepheknee]

(I guess I just bullshitted my way back to this dimension in time for the grand duel of the ages lmao)
(Also I guess I just randomly married Norne off-screen sdjksdl)
"Damn you... You're strong, Nino... But not strong enough!"
I unleash another fire storm, which Nino blocks with ice, Fjorm vs Surtr style.
I raise my hands.  "ZA WARUDO! TOKI WO TOMARE!"
Time stops for everyone except for me.
"One second has passed." I fly off into the distance. "Two seconds have passed. Three seconds have passed. Four seconds have passed. Five seconds have passed. Six seconds have passed." I return, holding a large object. "Seven seconds have passed... ROAD ROLLER DA!"
The large object turns out to be a road roller, and I slam it onto Nino. I let time move again, and Nino begins rapid fire punching the road roller.
"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!" He shouts as he punches.
"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! It's too late! You cannot escape!" I shout back, as I punch the road roller on my side.
"WRYYYYYYYYY!!" I scream, as I rear back my fist. "FLAT AS A PANCAKE!" I slam my fist onto the road roller, crushing Nino underneath it's weight.
I fly back to the hill, where I stand victoriously. I prod Twilit with my foot to make sure he's still dead from Norne's arrow.

I am King of the Hill.

[AnonymousSpeed]

Can't y'all just talk over your differences over some steak?

I am now firing up the grill.

[Hanes]

(You seem to have affection for Norne, so yeah)

"Heh... hehehehehehe!"

"I learned to stop time, just in time, Evalko, your plan failed!" I yell, which is heard around the world.
"Damn you, why won't you die, here I have your friend twilit! Approach me and you will die!"
"Well then I won't approach you... instead..." I walk over to Norne and hold her by the neck "Then are you willing to trade a life for a life? Think about it, is this really a good pay off?"
"Evie... help... it hurts..." cried out Norne
"Make your decision quick or my patience will run out." I reply stalwartly- but also hoping my plan does work, because I'm putting twilit's life on the line.
"D-damn you! You won't take Norne away from me! No- not her!" shot back Evalko and flied over to my position then I let Norne out and she falls to the ground... whimpering about how much it hurts, Evalko approaches attempting to stop time and hit me but I stop time at the same time and we just stand there seeing each other.

"That's kinda hilarious... I can sense your power Evalko, I know when you are going to manifest your mana into a time stop because it requires a huge amount of it to be expelled, every time you use it I will just use it back. Rebecca, tend to Norne's wounds... it seems my boast worked"
"Damn you, how can you say I'm the worst when you nearly kill h-her... you monster, you used her as a toy to manipulate me! That is so low, you're scum!"
"That's not the first time I have ever head that, this is why I obtained power, to finally prove to everyone that I can save the world! I detest being the bad guy!"
"Well you're wrong!" Replied Rebecca "How can you go kill others in the name of saving someone else, what a hypocrite! I thought you were different... I- I'm dissapointed in you!"
"I... damn it, Rebecca I never had an intention of killing her in the first place! Like I said, it was to protect everyone else!"
"Using others' lives to fulfill your desire... what scum." said Evalko
"Who are you to talk? You nearly killed twilit, you were the one that started the blackmail, and why do you care so much for a human being when a god like you can marry a goddess chick?" I reply

"That's... SILENCE! I will not hear anyone ever again degrade my st-status of God!" Said Evalko as he rushed with a mega powerful punch that releases so much power that it masks the time stop, and a flashback rushes into Evalko

Mila: I can't believe you're one of us, the god race Evalko hahaha
Duma: Only the strong survive, begone!
*Said duma as he kicked a tied Evalko out of the sky and lands square on his chest*
Evalko: Oh *sniff* not again... why... why am I so blasted weak?
*suddenly a little girl appears from beyond the hill (not the hill of the forum), close to a village*
???: Hey, are you ok? You fell from high above!
Evalko: Huh? Who are you? You stand in the presence of a g- ouch, it hurts!
???: Here let me help you weird man, my name is Norne, nice to meet you! *Norne proceeds to untie Evalko and takes off his shirt*
Norne: Wow, this is a mean hit, it's full of... wolf scars? No, it's very deep... Here, I have a vulnerary solution on me, please don't move... it will hurt a bit!
Evalko: Augh... ouch it... burns... ah... ah...
Norne: So tell me, what is someone doing out of the sky?
Evalko: Ah... this... oh, it's starting to feel better!
Norne: Don't move or the wound will reopen!
Evalko: Ah... alright, to answer your question I am Evalko, I'm from the God race
Norne: The God race? Hee hee, you're funny big man!
*From the sky, comes Naga, Evalko's only friend*
Naga: Evalko, get over here! I can't believe you still let those gods beat you up! When will you listen to me and fight back?
Evalko: But Naga... I loathe violence, I... can't fight, nor do I want too!
Naga: You're so pathetic, and your powers haven't even developed yet, come here, the longer you take, the harsher your father will punish you
*As Evalko ascends and Norne can't believe her sight he dissappears into the sky*

*Turns out that Norne stayed in Evalko's mind for being the only person that was truly kind to him and he frequently flied down to meet her. As Norne grew up, she began to develop feelings for him, to the point where she became his loyal companion, in due time Evalko answered these feelings, and they wed. And now we're back to present time*

"Your attack doesn't matter if I dodg- huh? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Said Nino
"I masked my time stop mana with my mega punch mana, good bye Nino, you were a powerful opponent. But my Resolve was greater than yours!" He answered, imposingly.

As Nino is blasted into the sky he yells "Damn... I must get stronger, I must... so- sorry Rebecca, twilit, Anathaco uncle andross, I've failed yooouuu" As he dissapears into the distance

Rebecca rushes over to Nino to check if he's fine, still bothered by his actions.


The Hill still stands in Evalko's grasp, ruling malevolently over the hill, what exactly drove Evalko mad with power? And as for Nino? Find out in the next poster's reply!

[Benice]

I leave the hill to go to anon's BBQ party. We are now the kings of the steak.

[null]

Just now, AnonymousSpeed said:

Can't y'all just talk over your differences over some steak?

I am now firing up the grill.

And I am right there with you. Let those two fight it out. 

[AnonymousSpeed]

Wow, this cookout is proving pretty popular. Come on all! We've got plenty for everyone, the food is on me.

You could say that I'm king of the bill.

[Hanes]

(Let's wait for @Evalko's reply, hopefully he resolves this in a fashion that takes us both to the grill)

[nepheknee]

(LMAO YOU MADE A BACKSTORY FOR ME AND EVERYTHING THIS IS HILARIOUS, also yeah i like norne despite knowing nothing about her personality, i just think she looks neat)
I stand on the hill, finally victorious, after all this fighting... But damn. Why do I care so much about this hill? It's just a random hill. What started all this fighting? It's almost as if, in a realm beyond our comprehension, random people on another planet are sitting behind their computer screens, controlling us. What other reason would we have to fight so much over a single hill?
Nah, that's dumb. That would never happen.
(somewhere, in the distance, workers scream in frustration as the fourth wall breaks again, and get to work rebuilding it.)
Maybe, just maybe, this long, hard free for all can finally end...
And everyone can chill at the grill.
That is, unless someone decides to wrest control of the hill out of my grasp and start it up again.
Until then...

I am King of the Hill.

[Punished Dayni]

Okay Evalko, now you've done it. It was difficult enough reclaiming the hill. Now you just straight up ignore the curse that I can never use again because it's too obvious a play?

Naga tome is it.

It still affects divine dragons, so I bring that to the epic confrontation that ended right when I thought it'd hit the climactic moment. Only to discover there was a grill chill now and to attack would be too rude. I request my position of KING and proceed to get to planning the preparation of agriculture on the higher hill. And work on contingencies. Such as to ensure we don't have to deal with magic related shenanigans and hopefully nip time and space warping in the bud I bring in a magic seal. One not attached to a depressed morph.

The KING gets some ribeye at last.

[AnonymousSpeed]

Now that we're all chillin' 'n grillin', let's lay out what it is each of us wants.

@Dayni @Evalko, why do you desire to be King of the Hill? Do you desire the title of king, or a power associated with the office? Is it a matter of prestige or respect?

I am grillmaster arbiter of the hill.

[Hanes]

That's what we want to see, once @Evalko does his thing, we will hopefully find more about his backstory, and mine and see why we desired to attain power as much as we did.

[Punished Dayni]

In many ways, the term king has been flexed by myself a fair bit. Trying to be a trickster of sorts led me to see opportunities to be able to do something with the hill. Then again, after the granary plan started, the want for the hill changed again, shifting more to be able to do things with it beyond for myself. This also led to me joining the alliance too. Not the most altruistic, but when you consider I was the first of us straight up attacked, you can see why.

Evalko's actions also led to a defensive attitude, wanting to remove a threat so much as I didn't wish to see his triumph. Especially after the dimension hopping got involved.

I probably would have worked with the NHA again after claiming kingship the last time (even if it would mainly be to avoid being cast out, after all I'd only claimed they'd betrayed me to Evalko as part of the ploy to use the curse), but then all this happened. 

Bit of an odd hill to die on but still. Still KING (Keaser for Industrial and Natural Growth for those who didn't read it on the previous page), while I could argue King of the hill as well as I wasn't deposed, but considering my ploy didn't even work apparently I guess that was not the case.

[null]

42 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

I am grillmaster arbiter of the hill.

Now that's a title. What's your favorite cut of steak to grill, oh great and revered grillmaster? I must learn from you as your apprentice to be the followup king of both the grill and the hill.

Edited May 28, 2020 by twilitfalchion

[nepheknee]

Oh. Am I supposed to do some more backstory? Alright, I guess.
Nino sits, alone and afraid. He had been abandoned by his unnamed parents, because I'm too lazy to provide a name.
One day, a skeleton walks up to him and gives him food.
"Sans?" He asks. "Sans the skeleton?"
"uh uh uh uh. uh uh uh uh uh." Sans replies, as he has no voice acting and the only noise he makes is a bunch of uhs, and text boxes don't appear in the real world.
"You want me to claim a random hill in the middle of a grassy field?"
"uh uh uh uh uh. uh uh uh uh uh uh uh. uh uh."
"Thank you, Sans. I'll do it for you."
"uh uh uh uh uh." Sans begins to walk away.
"I'll never forget you, Sans the skeleton!"
Cut to a few days ago, where Nino stands in front of the very same hill he spoke about with Sans all those days ago.

On the hill stands a human. It appears some fighting must happen.

Today, everyone stands together, grilling like villains.
Because in a way, we all are villains. Causing unnecessary damage to the planet all because of one hill. As if the earth doesn't already have enough to deal with.

I sit, munching on my steak, and think.
"Why do I want to be King of the Hill? Hmm... I dunno. It's just pretty cool to call yourself King of the Hill, I guess."
Rather anticlimactic answer, but that's it.
"Which is why, Dayni, I am reclaiming my title as King of the Hill. If you don't forfeit the status to me..." A group of penguins assemble behind me.
"I will have to use force."

I am the Soon-to-be King of the Hill.

Edited May 28, 2020 by Evalko

[AnonymousSpeed]

10 minutes ago, twilitfalchion said:

Now that's a title. What's your favorite cut of steak to grill, oh great and revered grillmaster?

I suppose it's something of a plain answer, but I favor a good sirloin.

 

16 minutes ago, Dayni said:

In many ways, the term king has been flexed by myself a fair bit. Trying to be a trickster of sorts led me to see opportunities to be able to do something with the hill. Then again, after the granary plan started, the want for the hill changed again, shifting more to be able to do things with it beyond for myself. This also led to me joining the alliance too. Not the most altruistic, but when you consider I was the first of us straight up attacked, you can see why.

Bit of an odd hill to die on but still. Still KING (Keaser for Industrial and Natural Growth for those who didn't read it on the previous page), while I could argue King of the hill as well as I wasn't deposed, but considering my ploy didn't even work apparently I guess that was not the case.

4 minutes ago, Evalko said:

"Why do I want to be King of the Hill? Hmm... I dunno. It's just pretty cool to call yourself King of the Hill, I guess."

Alright gentlemen, I think I have a proposition.

Evalko will be given the formal title King of the Hill, while Dayni will be given the position of Minister of the Interior and the authority necessary to pursue development projects.

Edited May 28, 2020 by AnonymousSpeed

[null]

Catching sight of the coming conflict, @AnonymousSpeed, @This boi uses Nino, and I take our grilling equipment and meat stash to one of the other hill dimensions, chill out, and let @Dayni and @Evalko duke it out to see who will be King of the Hill. After the countless times the NHA has stopped Evalko, maybe it's time to let him have his own dimension to destroy. In the meantime, I ask Naga to lock both Dayni and Evalko in their hill dimension so we don't have to deal with their fighting anymore. As I take a bite of steak, I then reflect on my illustrious, yet short career as Wyvern General something or another for the NHA and plan my retirement accordingly.

Nino's child with Rebecca then becomes the leader of the NHA, peace and happiness, blah blah blah.

 

Edited May 28, 2020 by twilitfalchion

[Anathaco]

1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Can't y'all just talk over your differences over some steak?

I am now firing up the grill.

*rocks up drinking apple juice*
What did I miss?

*gets caught up*
Ok, Anon, did you SERIOUSLY let him out? But he was FINE in there, you... ugh, never mind. Deed’s done now.

I turn to Evalko and his penguin army.

”Is if possible that you instigated this conflict because, deep down, you desire recognition and companionship, and you desire it in the form of rivalry and competition because of your abusive and “only the strong survive” childhood? Because if so, you can just join us, you know. We can all be King of the Hill.”

EDIT: Crap, ninjaed. Let’s say I got there before we moved to another dimension 

Edited May 28, 2020 by Anathaco

[Hanes]

SF lagged for me and it didn't show me that EValko had already replied so that's why I replied this:

1 hour ago, This boi uses Nino said:

(Let's wait for @Evalko's reply, hopefully he resolves this in a fashion that takes us both to the grill)

out of place...
 

8 minutes ago, twilitfalchion said:

Nino's child with Rebecca then becomes the leader of the NHA, peace and happiness, blah blah blah.

epic.


Well I want to be King of the Hill because some skeleton said so, but also because it was fun until I actually had to save the world and-

"Why?

"huh?"

"Why do you feel the need to "save" the world, save it from devastation of both of you duking it out?

"Huh.... I guess it's just fun to write fanfiction crap, lol"

I suppose there's nothing else to do... oh well...

[Hanes]

9 minutes ago, Anathaco said:

”Is if possible that you instigated this conflict because, deep down, you desire recognition and companionship, and you desire it in the form of rivalry and competition because of your abusive and “only the strong survive” childhood? Because if so, you can just join us, you know. We can all be King of the Hill.”

(That's exactly what I tried to go for, in the "What drove Evalko and Nino mad with power" thing...

also I'll put here what happened when a bothered Rebecca came to me after Evalko's resolve bested mine and threw me away
*
*
Me: Ugh... I... gah! That hurts... a lot...
Rebecca: Nino! There you are!
Me: Huh? Oh... it's you, are you going to chastice me further?
Rebecca: Am I gonna chastice you, of course I am! What... was that? You're terrible, I never knew you could be that sort of man!
Me: ... I was never the best person ever, even if I wanted to, at that point I drove myself to madness and did unspeakable things... then as my Resolve came through hate and anger, Evalko defeated me... ooooh this really hurts...
Rebecca: Hmph, but I know you have good in you, you need to help control it, because you're clearly unstable
Me: And why go the hassle? Just go and let me deal with it on my own, it's no one's duty but mine, go.
Rebecca: And then let you destroy half the world on another idiotic dispute? I don't wanna go!
Me: ... I honestly don't understand why someone like you clinges to me, or anyone for that matter but alright, you can stay.
*
*
 

[nepheknee]

38 minutes ago, Anathaco said:

”Is if possible that you instigated this conflict because, deep down, you desire recognition and companionship, and you desire it in the form of rivalry and competition because of your abusive and “only the strong survive” childhood? Because if so, you can just join us, you know. We can all be King of the Hill.”

I am taken aback by this suddenly very deep sentiment.
Huh.
Maybe you're right.
And so, everyone became King of the Hill together, and they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
Unless, of course, someone starts this again and there's an epilogue.
In which case, it's not The End.

Oh, also, I'm totally King of the Hill.