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Zerxen

Anyone here (specifically young adults) feel behind in life?

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Full-time university student majoring in Economics at a CSU. I get decent grades in my classes but I only had one retail job before which was seasonal; would've had more but I was either lazy or my class schedule made it hard to have a part time job (didn't help that I have a 45 minute commute to campus). I do have a few months worth of volunteer experience though at either clinics or local community service orgs in my city so I'm not quite inexperienced. Still wished I had an internship but I am either unqualified, don't have the right major, or don't know the right people.

Anybody else here feel the same? I've been searching for a job to get out of the house but the pandemic ruined my chances. I do have some friends that are interns (completely different field), have jobs at retail (likely got laid off), or had a kid with their high school sweetheart (lol).

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Definitely.

I didn't land a job until after 1.5 years after I graduated college and during my time in school, had only one internship under my belt. Always felt I was inferior to my classmates that knew more than I did in my field of study. Part laziness but a bigger part is I don't particularly like my major so I mostly made decent grades in classes of my major but did really well in classes(outside of my major) that I was interested in.

Even though I have a job now, it's through a consulting company which I'm contractually bound until the contract period is over. Plan on finding a job on my own(can't right now as I'm still within that contractual period) once it ends but I worry that "I don't know enough" to land a job on my own. Also thinking of going back to school for a master's degree for something I'm interested in that's still within the major but I know for a fact that I'll slack off especially when it's not in person. Financing that will also be an issue which is why I'm debating if it's worth considering but I keep going back to it from time to time so obviously a part of me wants to go back to school.

All of this is very stress inducing as I feel like I'm always "running out of time" despite being told that "I'm young, you've got plenty of time" but I do recognize that a lot of it is pressure coming from myself. It's a constant reminder of trying to not be so hard on myself and reaching out for help when I need it.

Edited by Flying Shogi

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1 hour ago, Flying Shogi said:

Definitely.

I didn't land a job until after 1.5 years after I graduated college and during my time in school, had only one internship under my belt. Always felt I was inferior to my classmates that knew more than I did in my field of study. Part laziness but a bigger part is I don't particularly like my major so I mostly made decent grades in classes of my major but did really well in classes(outside of my major) that I was interested in.

Even though I have a job now, it's through a consulting company which I'm contractually bound until the contract period is over. Plan on finding a job on my own(can't right now as I'm still within that contractual period) once it ends but I worry that "I don't know enough" to land a job on my own. Also thinking of going back to school for a master's degree for something I'm interested in that's still within the major but I know for a fact that I'll slack off especially when it's not in person. Financing that will also be an issue which is why I'm debating if it's worth considering but I keep going back to it from time to time so obviously a part of me wants to go back to school.

All of this is very stress inducing as I feel like I'm always "running out of time" despite being told that "I'm young, you've got plenty of time" but I do recognize that a lot of it is pressure coming from myself. It's a constant reminder of trying to not be so hard on myself and reaching out for help when I need it.

Oof that's kinda rough. What did you do for 1.5 years if you don't mind me asking? Luckily I live in a traditional household where familial ties are emphasized so I don't have any fear of being kicked out soon, though it is a dream to move out for me.

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I definitely used to. I graduated about 3 years ago, and had a difficult finding a job. Only ever got 2 interviews. One for a career job (which i didn't get) and another for a part-time position at Walmart. I did get that position at Walmart, but quickly left it for another position at another grocery store a friend worked in because, it was relatively better. I kept trying to get a full time job in my field (or related, however thinly). I never got any interviews. Then i realized i really enjoy working part-time, not because of the work but because of the amount of time I get to myself. And I also realized I was fine living on that wage (don't have to live on credit).

After that I stopped feeling behind, because I figured it all depends where you as an individual is going. Our society seems to think, and wants us to think, there is only one way to go. That is get a car, a career, a house, a family, and retire. To be honest though, I realized i don't want any of that. And that's ok. There isn't a single plan or end goal everyone should aim for.

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I started to become an adult by having an own home and job when about ten years after graduation. There were different reasons for that like having anxiety towards foreign people and also depressions due to private matters. I finished an education I didn't want, but did it because I couldn't find anything else. After that I was lucky to sign in university without much of a break. Everything was good till tragedies in my family happened which also affected me very hard. I was so depressed, even paralyzed, that I quitted study. Since my dad became even more depressed than I was, I decided for a new beginning to live independently. I got a flat - however only being financed by my aunt - and then a bit later a really good job. I am able to care for myself now. Regardless I'm still feeling like a child at least somewhat and this won't change till the end of my life.

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I'm 7 years late completing college, might become 8. Still living with my parents at 28. Both my sisters are out of the house, and actually bought their own homes. My younger sister lives with her boyfriend, and my older sister is married and has 2 little kids already. Meanwhile me, never had a girlfriend or anything close to resembling that.

Lately I've been trying to be content with what I do have though. I have amazing friends whom I see nearly every weekend. I have a job that I don't hate. I have plenty of hobbies to keep myself busy. My niece and nephew are super cute and I love visiting them. And living with my parents isn't all that bad, and I am looking for my own place, though that might take a while.

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12 hours ago, Zerxen said:

Oof that's kinda rough. What did you do for 1.5 years if you don't mind me asking? Luckily I live in a traditional household where familial ties are emphasized so I don't have any fear of being kicked out soon, though it is a dream to move out for me.

That period was a hard time for me. For about 6 months, I wasn't doing anything but beating myself up over not having found landed interviews even though I didn't apply for things as I kept doubting if I was good enough for a career job. After that, I looked for a part-time job so I can get myself out of the house and worked that job until I joined the consulting company I'm currently with. I forget when but I decided to see a therapist to talk things out at a certain point to unload my thoughts/worries. 

11 hours ago, Zanarkin said:

After that I stopped feeling behind, because I figured it all depends where you as an individual is going. Our society seems to think, and wants us to think, there is only one way to go. That is get a car, a career, a house, a family, and retire. To be honest though, I realized i don't want any of that. And that's ok. There isn't a single plan or end goal everyone should aim for.

Thank you for putting this into words. I think the stress I feel comes from being told from a young age that "you need to do this, you need to do that" such that I feel the need to reach a certain milestone ASAP or else I'd be behind. 

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I'm around a lot of 50-70 year olds, and all they can think to say as far as small talk with me is "so have you graduated yet?". At age 25, I am in year seven of being a part time student with only a 2 year degree to show for it with enough university to qualify for a bachelors (but still in need of like 20 more credits at that school before they'll hand me the degree), and I don't know how to communicate that my schooling is mostly hobby at this point and that my current, 42 hours a week of work is what I find most important. Years ago, I was definitely conflicted about where my life was going and how to take it to the next level, but the fact is that I'm doing a job that I am the most qualified to do and I don't need to impress anybody

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Everyday of my life. But thankfully that’s why we have the nectar of the gods...alcohol.

If I had to have a conversation with a physical manifestation of my life, it’d probably go something like this:

14B99BCE-7412-4B09-B284-6883338880F5.jpeg

Edited by Wraith

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Definitely. I didn't quite find existential answers yet, such as who I am, what I want for me and what I imagine for the future, so I have a very shallow understanding of myself, my goals and interests. Consequentially, I have no idea what's for me. I've exchanged majors once and put myself in a huge student debt, I still dislike my course and I struggle to see myself working with it (but I'm trying to force myself to learn, make a living off it somehow and then maybe find something I want for myself in the future).

Some people take longer than others to find the answer to these questions, I guess.

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I'm a few years out of college now, and have a job in my field of study. It's a pretty good fit for me, but I worry that I'm not... advancing in any sense. Learning new things, looking for love, taking steps to transition... hell, getting a pet would be a huge deal for me right now. And my social network in my current living situation is... next to nil. Still, there are good things - I have my job, my bike, and I'm seeimg a therapist. It's taken effort and time to get here. I think you'll get somewhere better in time - maybe not perfect, but is there even such a thing?

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