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lowkey always wanted to get laid but


♠Soul♠
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I'm not sure how it works.

Like, every once in a while I make a Tinder and "match" with some chicks, but I don't really even know how to talk to them. Talking on chat is so weird. Pick up lines are cheesy, and literally can't think of anything that isn't "hi" or "hello", which is really easy to ignore. Okay, so that's part one.

Okay, so what if I do talk to this chick, and on a hypothetical scenario I do ask her out. I don't even have any fucking money. What if it does happen, then what. What am I even supposed to talk about. A lot of these chicks are normie as FUCK, and even then, it's not like I care about a relationship. I just want to get laid.

And lastly, what if I somehow invite her home while I have the house to myself. How does shit even escalate to getting laid. Yeah, I've seen movies, and I'm not really sure any of that is me.

 

tl;dr

How did we fuck up something as basic as mating so hard that we literally struggle with it. I'm genuinely curious.

Jesus Christ.

Edited by the actual real soul
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This thread is funny, I'm gonna archive it real quick.

8 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

it's not like I care about a relationship. I just want to get laid.

Don't get laid then.

8 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

Jesus Christ.

He'd tell you the same thing.

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49 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

This thread is funny, I'm gonna archive it real quick.

Am I supposed to be embarrassed? I'm basically open about this.

49 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Don't get laid then.

no fuck you

9 minutes ago, Sooks said:

This is funny. Just send this as your first message to someone on Tinder. See what happens. Honesty is the best policy.

I'LL CONSIDER IT.

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2 hours ago, the actual real soul said:

no fuck you

I appreciate you being honest but that doesn't mean I won't tell you that you're wrong. That's the greatest respect I can give you.

 

2 hours ago, OriginalRaisins said:

Just tell them that. Say "u want sum fuk" or something along those lines. You'll get a lot of rejection but it'll still work

 

17 minutes ago, Glennstavos said:

...you're not saving yourself for marriage?

Some people smh

I mean you could at least save yourself for someone you'd eat dinner with. Breakfast even.

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This was not a topic I expected to see when I logged in today! XD

So here's the thing man, a lot of women aren't really dtf without some sort of... emotional connection. That's of course not all of us but it's a high chunk. If you're not interested in getting offline to go to bars and such to see about hooking up, my best advice to you would be to put that you're only looking for sex in whatever bio on the dating app you've got. That way only women looking for that will message you. It's a long shot though, not gonna lie.

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I. What. Are we inside a bizzaro universe?

8 hours ago, the actual real soul said:

How did we fuck up something as basic as mating so hard that we literally struggle with it.

Humanity was a mistake.

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8 hours ago, the actual real soul said:

How did we fuck up something as basic as mating so hard that we literally struggle with it. I'm genuinely curious.

Because, we didn't grow giant horns, we didn't grow big fantails of feathers, we don't dedicate ourselves to elaborate songs and dances, we don't arrange a meticulous circular nest of rocks and shells in the sands of the continental shelf. We too have grown conscientious consciousnesses towards each other, the better members of our species thus refuse to partake of carnal acts without the other's consent. Humanity has neither strict biologically-programmed courtship routines, nor a positive outlook towards the utterly barbaric and evil act known as rape. Thank our creative freedom granted by our big brains for the former, thank our development of morality -which is an objective good- for the latter.

 

I think I can understand you from a certain perspective. I want to say I'm asexual, but I have enough evidence possible to the contrary that I don't believe I can rule out being a sexual creature without a trial run or three. I'm introspective, I've never had friends (which could be evidence I have no interest in a mate), and I could never bring myself to using a dating website or one-night-stand app, but it's annoying I can't make a definitive judgement on this. I just wish I could snap my fingers right before or after a shower and instantly a totally naked person of average or better sexiness would appear and we'd embrace right there. Maybe my concerns the touching and the fluids and the penetration would gross me out would be validated on the first run, maybe the first time would be too charged for me to recognize my real thoughts, maybe I'd need to try a couple more times to experience different forms of activity. Maybe it'd take ten times or however many to get past the allure of something never having been experienced before and seeing if my "libido" remains when it becomes commonplace.

Why can't I be satisfied with the Socratic Method, and instead desire empirical evidence? And why can't this matter be as easily empirically answered as deciding whether or not I like the taste of apples smothered in caramel? 

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4 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I think I can understand you from a certain perspective. I want to say I'm asexual, but I have enough evidence possible to the contrary that I don't believe I can rule out being a sexual creature without a trial run or three. I'm introspective, I've never had friends (which could be evidence I have no interest in a mate), and I could never bring myself to using a dating website or one-night-stand app, but it's annoying I can't make a definitive judgement on this. I just wish I could snap my fingers right before or after a shower and instantly a totally naked person of average or better sexiness would appear and we'd embrace right there. Maybe my concerns the touching and the fluids and the penetration would gross me out would be validated on the first run, maybe the first time would be too charged for me to recognize my real thoughts, maybe I'd need to try a couple more times to experience different forms of activity. Maybe it'd take ten times or however many to get past the allure of something never having been experienced before and seeing if my "libido" remains when it becomes commonplace.

Why can't I be satisfied with the Socratic Method, and instead desire empirical evidence? And why can't this matter be as easily empirically answered as deciding whether or not I like the taste of apples smothered in caramel? 

Don't get hung up on labels. You are what you are and you feel what you feel. Don't matter much which of the many, many, many categories of sexuality people have hashed out where that falls.

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11 hours ago, the actual real soul said:

 

How did we fuck up something as basic as mating so hard that we literally struggle with it. I'm genuinely curious.

I don't know. Last time I had a girlfriend it was from playing Shadow Dragon in public and not paying attention to my surroundings. My point is, I think I get the most attention from women when I actually ignore them... which is a hard tactic to pull off on a dating app. Have you tried the "wins by doing nothing" method yet?

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Finding a satisfying relationship with another individual is difficult. Your best bet is to find someone that you can connect with on an emotional level. Find someone with common interests that you're attracted to, and make sure that they're attracted to you before you even think about advancing to the next level. Even if things don't work out, they're are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say. It may take some time, but you may eventually find that 'special someone' that you're looking for.

Basically, don't rush things.

Jake the Dog explains it best.

13 hours ago, the actual real soul said:

Jesus Christ.

10 hours ago, Glennstavos said:

...you're not saving yourself for marriage?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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11 hours ago, Nobody said:

very rough situation, don't know what's i'd do in your place

You're from Brazil, man. You're better off.

11 hours ago, Glennstavos said:

...you're not saving yourself for marriage?

The only girl I'd save myself for doesn't exist.

Sadly, in our modern society (and especially as a man), saving yourself is usually worse.

5 hours ago, Silver-Haired Maiden said:

This was not a topic I expected to see when I logged in today! XD

So here's the thing man, a lot of women aren't really dtf without some sort of... emotional connection. That's of course not all of us but it's a high chunk. If you're not interested in getting offline to go to bars and such to see about hooking up, my best advice to you would be to put that you're only looking for sex in whatever bio on the dating app you've got. That way only women looking for that will message you. It's a long shot though, not gonna lie.

Yeah, thanks for the honesty. Like, I had that impression, and I'm certainly not one of those guys that that say "wOmEn aRe NoT iNtErEsTeD iN sEx"...but I also understand it's not always that simple, and I've been told that before.

4 hours ago, Jotari said:

Sounds like what you need is a good old fashion prostitute.

I'm not paying for orbs in a celphone videogame I sure as hell ain't paying for sex.

Rather stay a virgin than pay for sex, not even going to lie.

1 hour ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I don't know. Last time I had a girlfriend it was from playing Shadow Dragon in public and not paying attention to my surroundings. My point is, I think I get the most attention from women when I actually ignore them... which is a hard tactic to pull off on a dating app. Have you tried the "wins by doing nothing" method yet?

wtf that literally doesn't happen. That's impossible.

If one can get a girlfriend from playing an FE game in public, it sure as hell wouldn't be Shadow Dragon.

41 minutes ago, indigoasis said:

Finding a satisfying relationship with another individual is difficult. Your best bet is to find someone that you can connect with on an emotional level. Find someone with common interests that you're attracted to, and make sure that they're attracted to you before you even think about advancing to the next level. Even if things don't work out, they're are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say. It may take some time, but you may eventually find that 'special someone' that you're looking for.

Basically, don't rush things.

Jake the Dog explains it best.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I don't hold on to the possiblity of meeting a "special someone". That's the last thing on my mind... it's just weird. It doesn't feel natural.

I don't want a relationship. ) :

 

holy crap jake

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10 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

I appreciate you being honest but that doesn't mean I won't tell you that you're wrong. That's the greatest respect I can give you.

 

I. what.

This is great.

10 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Some people smh

I mean you could at least save yourself for someone you'd eat dinner with. Breakfast even.

That's boring.

There's only one girl I'd have dinner with, and she doesn't exist. : D

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38 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

I. what.

This is great.

Value Select is a treasure. I recommend you watch every video he's ever made.

41 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

The only girl I'd save myself for doesn't exist.

38 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

There's only one girl I'd have dinner with, and she doesn't exist. : D

Your standards are probably a little fricked, then.

41 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

I don't hold on to the possiblity of meeting a "special someone". That's the last thing on my mind... it's just weird. It doesn't feel natural.

 

If you're not awaiting your one true love or anything, then why not ask someone to dinner?

What even is "natural" ?

41 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

Sadly, in our modern society (and especially as a man), saving yourself is usually worse.

Friendo you better not be complaining about reverse discrimination.

41 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

I'm not paying for orbs in a celphone videogame I sure as hell ain't paying for sex.

Rather stay a virgin than pay for sex, not even going to lie.

You're right on that front at least.

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5 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Value Select is a treasure. I recommend you watch every video he's ever made.

Is that Ian from Smosh??

5 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Your standards are probably a little fricked, then.

Why.

I'm attracted to women like any other guy.

5 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

If you're not awaiting your one true love or anything, then why not ask someone to dinner?

I can barely have dinner in the same table as my mother, let alone other women.

5 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

What even is "natural" ?

getting laid

5 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Friendo you better not be complaining about reverse discrimination.

you mean "double standards"? v:

Guys definitely benefit more from having experience than women do. Women are a lot pickier about these things, and the only real way guys learn on how to be with women is by...being with women. On the flip side, being a virgin is valued a lot more on women. Never heard a woman say they'd love a man to save themselves for marriage.

I mean, it'd be great, but we know society don't work like that.

 

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1 hour ago, the actual real soul said:

If one can get a girlfriend from playing an FE game in public, it sure as hell wouldn't be Shadow Dragon.

xD

Three Houses is the best selling FE (I think) so you could try that one.

 

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