♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 you know that thing chicks do where they feel insecure when they see another prettier girl and that Is normal to feel that way when you see more "attractive" guys? Sometimes I don't necessarily even feel they look better, but it's like society values a certain look and I feel they're "supposed" to look better, and it makes me feel insecure. I don't think I heard many guys feel that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 . . .uh, what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Author Share Posted January 31, 2021 8 minutes ago, eclipse said: . . .uh, what? You're not a dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 3 minutes ago, the actual real soul said: You're not a dude. And you're not a girl, yet you make a generalization about girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Author Share Posted January 31, 2021 10 minutes ago, eclipse said: And you're not a girl, yet you make a generalization about girls. oh boy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 So again. . .what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanarkin Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 Insecurity and comparing yourself to others is a pretty normal human feeling. And guys, being humans, can feel that too. Feelings and emotions are not tied to a specific gender lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Author Share Posted January 31, 2021 11 minutes ago, Zanarkin said: Insecurity and comparing yourself to others is a pretty normal human feeling. And guys, being humans, can feel that too. Feelings and emotions are not tied to a specific gender lol yeh but they make it seem like only women are allowed to feel that way or something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vince777 Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 Most certainly not tied to or unique to one gender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xigbar7 Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 42 minutes ago, the actual real soul said: you know that thing chicks do where they feel insecure when they see another prettier girl and that Is normal to feel that way when you see more "attractive" guys? Sometimes I don't necessarily even feel they look better, but it's like society values a certain look and I feel they're "supposed" to look better, and it makes me feel insecure. I don't think I heard many guys feel that way. Most people feel that way. In the age of social media where we are exposed to a purported ideal appearance on a daily basis from people who make a living off of genetically gifted aesthetics it can be hard to appreciate the beauty of real people that we actually know, and ourselves. Men in general are discouraged to speak openly about their negative emotions including insecurity. Plenty of guys say they envy my appearance because I compete in powerlifting and have more muscle mass than some. But I also started lifting because I was insecure about my unusual face, which lifting can not fix. So it's all relative. Take solace in the fact that your sentiments mirror the huge majority of the population that fall below the line that society sets for illusory beauty standards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armchair General Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 I literally heard of nobody who does this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasechi Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 Everyone compare them to others to grow. That's normal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Author Share Posted January 31, 2021 18 minutes ago, xigbar7 said: Most people feel that way. In the age of social media where we are exposed to a purported ideal appearance on a daily basis from people who make a living off of genetically gifted aesthetics it can be hard to appreciate the beauty of real people that we actually know, and ourselves. Men in general are discouraged to speak openly about their negative emotions including insecurity. Plenty of guys say they envy my appearance because I compete in powerlifting and have more muscle mass than some. But I also started lifting because I was insecure about my unusual face, which lifting can not fix. So it's all relative. Take solace in the fact that your sentiments mirror the huge majority of the population that fall below the line that society sets for illusory beauty standards. This great. ...wait, is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Author Share Posted January 31, 2021 10 minutes ago, Armchair General said: I literally heard of nobody who does this. Do what. 1 minute ago, Hasechi said: Everyone compare them to others to grow. That's normal Who's growing out of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasechi Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 1 minute ago, the actual real soul said: Do what. Who's growing out of this. I meant to growth : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Author Share Posted January 31, 2021 Just now, Hasechi said: I meant to growth : ) yeah I know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xigbar7 Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 4 minutes ago, the actual real soul said: This great. ...wait, is it? Don't know if it is great or not. A simple truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasechi Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 2 minutes ago, the actual real soul said: yeah I know let me ask you " Do poor people feel insecure next to wealth people ?" I think the answer should be some do, some don't. So does your question. Don't think too much about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted January 31, 2021 Author Share Posted January 31, 2021 1 minute ago, Hasechi said: let me ask you " Do poor people feel insecure next to wealth people ?" I think the answer should be some do, some don't. So does your question. Don't think too much about it. well I don't feel insecure next to people with money but I sometimes feel insecure next to other guys that society would percieve as more attractive : D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasechi Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, the actual real soul said: well I don't feel insecure next to people with money but I sometimes feel insecure next to other guys that society would percieve as more attractive : D So you had the answer 🙂 . Some people do, some people don't. Both males & females are the same. Edited January 31, 2021 by Hasechi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eltosian Kadath Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 3 minutes ago, the actual real soul said: yeh but they make it seem like only women are allowed to feel that way or something Yeh, a lot of the gendered things "they" like to say are incredibly dumb, and kinda arbitrary. That sorta feeling is fairly normal, even amongst guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanarkin Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 8 minutes ago, Eltosian Kadath said: Yeh, a lot of the gendered things "they" like to say are incredibly dumb, and kinda arbitrary. This pretty much. What is seen as manly and what emotions and feelings a man is able to express varies by culture. Its a dumb thing humans do, but unfortunately they do. Fortunately though, you don't have to pay mind to it. Assuming of course that you don't live in a fucked up place x<. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armchair General Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 1 hour ago, the actual real soul said: Do what. Complain about their looks or feeling insecure about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 Sometimes my fat makes me feel insecure about my looks, but at this point I think there are plenty of more serious problems I'm insecure about at this point. I don't think attractive guys make me feel insecure though. I have a feeling that if I was able to put effort into looking attractive, and improve on other things, I wouldn't need to feel like the most attractive or smartest or whatever guy in the room. Then again, maybe human beings always desire something different from what they have *tries to look sagely and cynical*. No, that's not true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigoasis Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 While I could say, "Dude, just don't compare yourself to others, problem solved," it's not that simple. It's normal to make comparisons between yourself and other people, although whether or not the comparisons being made are positive or negative vary from person to person (in the way that you compare yourself to others, or compare separate people between themselves with you excluded from that comparison). You might make positive attributions about someone that you look up to or respect, or someone that you view as having a positive quality in a particular aspect. To give an artificial example: "This person makes for quite a fast runner but a poor swimmer, and I know that I am an excellent swimmer but lack in ground speed. We could totally work super well together on a triathlon team and cover each other's weaknesses." Comparing your attractiveness to that of another person could also fall under the 'positive comparisons' category, or maybe even a neutral category if you're not being too hard on yourself. To give an example, one of my friends often makes comparisons between our appearances. What he is essentially telling me is that certain qualities that we each have are desired by separate individuals. Where one person may desire a partner with darker features, another person may prefer a partner to have lighter features. Anyway, negative comparisons can also be made, as is often the case. You may make the attribution that a particular quality that you possess isn't as attractive as another individual's (it could also be the reverse where you're a total narcissist and make the attribution that your qualities are better than another person's). Every person is unique in a plethora of regards, which means that there are a whole lot more qualities that you don't even know about that can be compared. It's also entirely possible that the person you're comparing yourself to is doing the exact same thing with you. Tying back into my statement about certain people preferring certain features, the other person may see something about you and think, "Damn, if only I was like that guy over there." With that said, it reminds me this: Spoiler Which of those three... er, mindsets... that you side with is up to you. What I'm trying to get at is that you are a unique individual with particular qualities, and any comparisons that you make between yourself and others can be used as learning opportunities to either better yourself in some regard, discover something new about yourself, or broaden your perspective on certain things. Also, keep in mind that there have probably been countless other people that have compared themselves to you, as well. Whether the comparisons were positive or negative and who made those comparisons is going to be next to impossible to figure out, but take solace in the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I'm sure that most everyone on the planet has felt insecure about something at some point in their lives. At the very least, I completely understand how you feel. You are more than welcome to DM me if you have anything you want to talk about, or just need someone to vent to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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