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I outcringed myself


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I matched with a girl on Tinder and she started talking to me and kept the conversation going. Ultimately, she asked for my Whatsapp,

and I got coldfeet and literally said the English equivalent of "if I do it it'd be out of peer pressure and if I don't I'll look bad".

 

yeah

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"if I do it it'd be out of peer pressure and if I don't I'll look bad".

I'm curious what you mean by this... Who is pressuring you? and why would you look bad if you don't?

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40 minutes ago, Zanarkin said:

I'm curious what you mean by this... Who is pressuring you? and why would you look bad if you don't?

It's not a "who", but this is all protocol. I would look bad because it would make me look insecure and indecisive (which in this case, I am).

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14 minutes ago, the actual real soul said:

It's not a "who", but this is all protocol

???

What? What protocol? What is the worst that could happen if you do away with protocol?

There is no protocol to dating humans really... How you choose to date and who you want to spend time with is entirely up to you. Other people's opinions shouldn't matter.

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I would look bad because it would make me look insecure and indecisive (which in this case, I am).

Only because you judge yourself this way, the opinions of a stranger shouldn't really matter to you when it comes to your love life. And if you don't want to meet someone for whatever reason, that is entirely within your right. Rejecting someone that you are not interested in shouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness.

And in the case where you rejected someone you were interested in, all I would see is someone who is making a bigger deal out of things than he needs to.

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For future reference, if you're not ready to give your whatsapp, instagram, phone number, etc. etc., you could say something like this:

"Do you mind if we talk on here for a little longer? I want to get to know you just a little more." That way, you're not outright rejecting her nor are you moving on to a step if you're not ready. 

However, if you're not interested, then honesty is great. However, just be careful with how you say things so you don't come off as too rude when you're rejecting someone. Plus, it's Tindr. Rejection goes hand in hand with online dating. You're probably not the first guy that rejected nor would it be the last. Online dating is a crapshoot anyways, so it's low impact on the emotional side. So don't worry about breaking her heart or anything.

Also, it's ok to feel insecure and indecisive. But if you don't want to show it, fake it until you make it.

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