Your FE Waifu, as predicted based on your political ideology

[AnonymousSpeed]

Finally found a good use for the political compass.

[Etrurian emperor]

Why is Forrest right wing? 😃 They'd eat the poor boy alive in today's climate.

[ciphertul]

So uh, where do I fall if none are my waifu here?

[NinjaMonkey]

I expected either Petrine or Vaida to be Authoritarian Right.

[Shanty Pete's 1st Mate]

I would put Forrest in LibLeft, Anna in LibRight, and 

2 minutes ago, NinjaMonkey said:

I expected either Petrine or Vaida to be Authoritarian Right.

Yeah either of those work. Also Flora in Center, she seems like she could appreciate a cookout.

AuthLeft Echidna is solid, though.

[AnonymousSpeed]

1 hour ago, Etrurian emperor said:

Why is Forrest right wing? 😃 They'd eat the poor boy alive in today's climate.

30 minutes ago, Shanty Pete's 1st Mate said:

I would put Forrest in LibLeft

LibLeft Forrest was the original joke, but then I remembered the weird alt-right obsession with femboys and I decided this was funnier more scientifically accurate.

I of course invite posting all alternate maps so long as I don't have to make them myself.

57 minutes ago, ciphertul said:

So uh, where do I fall if none are my waifu here?

Iunno. I'm predicting waifus based on politics, not the other way around.

[Zapp Branniglenn]

I feel Ninian's got to be on the right. Literally sacrificing her body and life to have your child is the high key power fantasy of socially conservative men. I can't imagine what you're trying to imply by making her the midpoint.

As for the little dragon girl thing, I dunno, does religious right make up either of those boxes? Huge pedophilia streak that I think we're ignoring. I'm guessing you're making a dig at the Free Love stuff, but c'mon that's at least fifty years out of date and mostly comprises LGBT+ stuff and the modern dating scene now. The Baby Groomers switched political ideology. If anything, Panne or some other beast girl should take Nowi's spot. Avatar characters are for sure polyamorous too. Corrin literally thinks she can end war without taking any life, and lives in a fantasy dreamscape with infinite resources. Lib as heck.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Zapp Branniglenn

[SatsumaFSoysoy]

Never married Nowi in Awakening, but uh.... Oh well.

[Benice]

I can could do much worse than Echidna, I think.

[SoulWeaver]

2 hours ago, Zapp Branniglenn said:

Literally sacrificing her body and life to have your child is the high key power fantasy of socially conservative men.

what.

I must be really out of the box then.

[Excellen Browning]

You should read up on Texas law SB 8 aka the law that bans abortion and gives everyone the right to civilly sue you for money if you get one. (In Texas)

It's also really cool in that there's no rape or incest exceptions in the bill.

[ping]

This is very stupid, good job.

Narcian might be a little on the nose? Then again, OP has Nowi, so I guess it's fine.

[Jotari]

2 hours ago, ping said:

This is very stupid, good job.

[snip]

Narcian might be a little on the nose? Then again, OP has Nowi, so I guess it's fine.

You beat me to the male punch. But imma going to do it anyway (is that the guy squatting in Dagdar's house?).

Tellius villains are still considered the sexiest guys around, right?

Edited November 4, 2021 by Jotari

[Ertrick36]

All I know is that Anna is probably as far econ-right as you could possibly get and everyone else wouldn't even know what a "communism" is because the means of mass production haven't been invented yet in any Fire Emblem worlds we've been made aware of so far (no idea on Heroes because I haven't played it passed Book 1, lmao).  I think there were actually times Anna even mentioned socialism by name, funnily enough.  Maybe only once or twice, but I swear I remember her mention it.

If we want a waifu political spectrum that's accurate to the world of Fire Emblem, it should be the single-axis spectrum spawned from the First French Republic - an axis that ranges from monarchism to republicanism.  Is your waifu a selfish brat who bosses you around and makes the relationship all about her?  Congrats, you have a monarchist waifu.  Is your waifu more of a giver who only wants you to be happiest you can be?  Then your waifu may represent the values of a great and liberal republic.

[Jotari]

1 minute ago, Ertrick36 said:

If we want a waifu political spectrum that's accurate to the world of Fire Emblem, it should be the single-axis spectrum spawned from the First French Republic - an axis that ranges from monarchism to republicanism.  Is your waifu a selfish brat who bosses you around and makes the relationship all about her?  Congrats, you have a monarchist waifu.  Is your waifu more of a giver who only wants you to be happiest you can be?  Then your waifu may represent the values of a great and liberal republic.

Only if the republican waifu inevitably gets corrupted by her own ideals and starts lopping off heads.

[ping]

@Ertrick36 - My train of thought was less "Gomes is a tankie" and more "If you're a tankie, it is likely that Gomes, the working class hero, is your husbando". I also choose to believe that Cath would've become Elibe's first communist if Roy hadn't meddled with her radicalisation.

1 hour ago, Jotari said:

Ashnard

Ashnard as the hero of the Libertarian Left is certainly a take. I'm guessing because "anarchy"? But Ashnard's ideal world, in which everybody can do whatever their personal powerbase allows them to do, isn't exactly what I'd call a society without hierachies, i.e. what I'd imagine a libertarian leftie would strive for.

[Jotari]

27 minutes ago, ping said:

Ashnard as the hero of the Libertarian Left is certainly a take. I'm guessing because "anarchy"? But Ashnard's ideal world, in which everybody can do whatever their personal powerbase allows them to do, isn't exactly what I'd call a society without hierachies, i.e. what I'd imagine a libertarian leftie would strive for.

Ashnard is certainly far more extreme than any libertarian would be willing to admit they want to push their ideas, but he does fundamentally follow the same idea, everyone is free to do what they desire without being restrained by society. Ashnard just takes it beyond to "even subjugating others, it's their own fault for just being so damn subjugatable". I stuck Oliver on the libertarian economic right, because if you're making husbandos you've gotta have Oliver somewhere, and as far as any principles go "beauty should be free, but also I want a slave trade so I can buy beautiful things."

[Ertrick36]

1 hour ago, ping said:

@Ertrick36 - My train of thought was less "Gomes is a tankie" and more "If you're a tankie, it is likely that Gomes, the working class hero, is your husbando". I also choose to believe that Cath would've become Elibe's first communist if Roy hadn't meddled with her radicalisation.

If it wasn't for Roy, Cath would've featured prominently in Stalin's positive heroism propaganda campaigns.  At least until she joined that filthy Trotskyist coup conspiracy, like all the rest of those traitors that may or may not have actually been traitors.

I think if there were to be a working class hero in Jugdral, it'd be Sigurd or Eldigan (even though ironically they come from the nobility - they wouldn't be heroes from the working class, but they'd be champions for the working class).  Though they'd probably be less the violent revolutionary types and more the reformist types.  Great for lib-leftists, remains to be seen if tankies would be into them (prolly not, just on the basis of them being nobility).

1 hour ago, Jotari said:

Only if the republican waifu inevitably gets corrupted by her own ideals and starts lopping off heads.

And then she'd accidentally surrender all her power to a megalomaniacal general (who was actually average height for the time), because that general is just so gosh darn incredible at everything he does that doesn't involve romance.  Oh yeah, and she'd keep flip-flopping between a democratic regime and a monarchist regime for almost a century.

This is my favorite brand of joke about France.  Toss the "surrender nation" jokes in the dump, it's all about the guillotines, Napoleon, and the fact that it blew through roughly half a dozen governments between 1792 and 1870.

[Jotari]

1 hour ago, Ertrick36 said:

If it wasn't for Roy, Cath would've featured prominently in Stalin's positive heroism propaganda campaigns.  At least until she joined that filthy Trotskyist coup conspiracy, like all the rest of those traitors that may or may not have actually been traitors.

I think if there were to be a working class hero in Jugdral, it'd be Sigurd or Eldigan (even though ironically they come from the nobility - they wouldn't be heroes from the working class, but they'd be champions for the working class).  Though they'd probably be less the violent revolutionary types and more the reformist types.  Great for lib-leftists, remains to be seen if tankies would be into them (prolly not, just on the basis of them being nobility).

And then she'd accidentally surrender all her power to a megalomaniacal general (who was actually average height for the time), because that general is just so gosh darn incredible at everything he does that doesn't involve romance.  Oh yeah, and she'd keep flip-flopping between a democratic regime and a monarchist regime for almost a century.

This is my favorite brand of joke about France.  Toss the "surrender nation" jokes in the dump, it's all about the guillotines, Napoleon, and the fact that it blew through roughly half a dozen governments between 1792 and 1870.

Their Charles De Gaulle era managed to blow through a surprising number of governments too.

[AnonymousSpeed]

Disappointed you guys haven't gotten the thread locked yet. Let's change that.

15 hours ago, Zapp Branniglenn said:

I can't imagine what you're trying to imply by making her the midpoint.

She's boring. Milquetoast. White bread. Plain. Uh..."bromidic".

15 hours ago, Zapp Branniglenn said:

As for the little dragon girl thing, I dunno, does religious right make up either of those boxes? Huge pedophilia streak that I think we're ignoring.

As much as I don't favor the TradCaths, no, the top right is for nazis.

Did you know that teachers fuck more kids than priests? Pretty twisted of the "real heroes" in my opinion, with apologies to Jotari. He's one of the good ones, or at least he better be, or else I'll whoop his Irish ass so hard it'll make the British army look like Ian Paisley.

15 hours ago, Zapp Branniglenn said:

I'm guessing you're making a dig at the Free Love stuff, but c'mon that's at least fifty years out of date and mostly comprises LGBT+ stuff and the modern dating scene now. The Baby Groomers switched political ideology.

It's actually a dig at the child drag queens, field trips to gay bars, giving HRT to pre-teens, and Vaush.

15 hours ago, Zapp Branniglenn said:

If anything, Panne or some other beast girl should take Nowi's spot.

• Furry
• Abdominals
• Eugenics
• Would wear a strap-on

Might as well make her the entire compass, really.

4 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

All I know is that Anna is probably as far econ-right as you could possibly get and everyone else wouldn't even know what a "communism" is because the means of mass production haven't been invented yet in any Fire Emblem worlds we've been made aware of so far.

See, the thing about having Anna as the bottom right corner is that the compass is not for the ideology of the character, but who members of that ideology would be stereotypically attracted to. Which is why can also have communists and libertarians despite mass production and free trade not being concepts in the setting.

11 hours ago, Excellen Browning said:

It's also really cool in that there's no rape or incest exceptions in the bill.

Yeah, what's especially cool is the part of the bill where the bill says that the state can't actually enforce it. But my understanding is that its actual purpose is to discourage Californians from moving in, so in that regard it might actually be working.

8 hours ago, ping said:

This is very stupid, good job.

Narcian might be a little on the nose? Then again, OP has Nowi, so I guess it's fine.

 

Ay, thanks mate.

His nose is pretty nice. I don't really see why the joke wouldn't work.

1 hour ago, Ertrick36 said:

This is my favorite brand of joke about France.  Toss the "surrender nation" jokes in the dump, it's all about the guillotines, Napoleon, and the fact that it blew through roughly half a dozen governments between 1792 and 1870.

I personally still think it's funny that a white flag was one of the official flags under House Bourbon. Guillotines are fun and all but it's really just an elaborate way to delay the next surrender.

[ping]

4 hours ago, Jotari said:

Ashnard is certainly far more extreme than any libertarian would be willing to admit they want to push their ideas, but he does fundamentally follow the same idea, everyone is free to do what they desire without being restrained by society. Ashnard just takes it beyond to "even subjugating others, it's their own fault for just being so damn subjugatable". I stuck Oliver on the libertarian economic right, because if you're making husbandos you've gotta have Oliver somewhere, and as far as any principles go "beauty should be free, but also I want a slave trade so I can buy beautiful things."

Since funi maymays are the best place to debate this, I will insist that "nobody exerts power over anybody else" and "everybody exerts as much power over as many people as they can" aren't exactly different degrees of the same ideals.

2 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

I think if there were to be a working class hero in Jugdral, it'd be Sigurd or Eldigan (even though ironically they come from the nobility - they wouldn't be heroes from the working class, but they'd be champions for the working class).  Though they'd probably be less the violent revolutionary types and more the reformist types.  Great for lib-leftists, remains to be seen if tankies would be into them (prolly not, just on the basis of them being nobility).

I honestly don't remember how much the plights of the third estate are discussed in Geneology. But I can see the point for "I will do the right thing" Sigurd. Nohrrin would've been an option too, with their "use their privilige to reform society" approach which worked out so, so well, but...

58 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

She's boring. Milquetoast. White bread. Plain. Uh..."bromidic".

...this applies to Corrin as well, I find. Plus, the golden route is basically "both sides are partly at fault", so Corrin really is a shoo-in for the Enlightened Centrist.

Actually, in hindsight, Muarim would've been a better pick than Mordecai. Still a big ol' catboy, but also part of a group of anti-slavery freedom fighters.

(side note: I resent the association of Ninian with the Chappest of Broms)

[Excellen Browning]

1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Yeah, what's especially cool is the part of the bill where the bill says that the state can't actually enforce it. But my understanding is that its actual purpose is to discourage Californians from moving in, so in that regard it might actually be working.

The state can't enforce it, it delegates that power entirely to basically everyone in the state of Texas. And the long and short is that it is absolutely getting enforced.

[AnonymousSpeed]

1 hour ago, ping said:

Since funi maymays are the best place to debate this, I will insist that "nobody exerts power over anybody else" and "everybody exerts as much power over as many people as they can" aren't exactly different degrees of the same ideals.

Probably not, but the former seems to be impossible while the latter seems inherent to all systems.

33 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said:

The state can't enforce it, it delegates that power entirely to basically everyone in the state of Texas. And the long and short is that it is absolutely getting enforced.

Alas, it is only a lawsuit. What a world, where you can commit homicide and walk away with a $10,000 fine.

[SoulWeaver]

5 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

But my understanding is that its actual purpose is to discourage Californians from moving in, so in that regard it might actually be working.

Apparently I needed this laugh today, thanks.

For the rest of you, yeesh that escalated quickly, though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

7 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

And then she'd accidentally surrender all her power to a megalomaniacal general (who was actually average height for the time), because that general is just so gosh darn incredible at everything he does that doesn't involve romance.

...so Hardin then.

[Jotari]

19 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Did you know that teachers fuck more kids than priests? Pretty twisted of the "real heroes" in my opinion, with apologies to Jotari. He's one of the good ones, or at least he better be, or else I'll whoop his Irish ass so hard it'll make the British army look like Ian Paisley.

I actually don't teach any children right now. My current students are Saudi Arabian university students...I still wouldn't due to professionalism (and to a lesser the extent the whole if you don't marry my daughter I'll chop off your head), but it would be a fair degree less immoral than Nowi.

18 hours ago, ping said:

Since funi maymays are the best place to debate this, I will insist that "nobody exerts power over anybody else" and "everybody exerts as much power over as many people as they can" aren't exactly different degrees of the same ideals.

Don't blame me. Blame Ashnads for not realizing the hypocrisy of his view of statehood.

14 hours ago, SoulWeaver said:

Apparently I needed this laugh today, thanks.

For the rest of you, yeesh that escalated quickly, though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

...so Hardin then.

So Ninian is the perfect (French) republican waifu.