Write Your Butt Off 358/II.8 prompts HD Final Chapter Prologue

[Benice]

1 minute ago, SoulWeaver said:

I might want an extension

Of course! If I have time, I may have to take one as well. We'll see... Writer's block has been real mean to me lately.

[indigoasis]

I forgot August has a 31st day. Thanks Legendary Deirdre.

Ya'll could take an indeterminate extension and release what you've got when it's ready.

Alternatively, you could separate what you have into parts and submit what's done, or what could constitute a fulfilling segment of the story, like an episode of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure that you can leave off with a classic To Be Continued... cliffhanger that you can pick up and finish off with the rest of the story when that's ready to go (which doesn't have to be submitted as part of anything, just share what ya got). Just a thought.

Just remember, no pressure!... okay, maybe a little pressure, but you can pretend it's not there.

[Jotari]

I don't think I'm going to get anything submitted. I feel a bit bad about that. Thought I had one on the back burner but it's too short and I'm not all that happy with it as a stand alone piece. It was a good prompt, the juices just weren't flowing in that direction. My creative energies (and free time) has been going towards something else of late.

Edited August 30, 2022 by Jotari

[SoulWeaver]

OK WE GOT IT

https://docs.google.com/document/d/199j3kk1YDGYv2UuydMsDfFe_IUd1qSDYtoW6nma0NGc/edit?usp=sharing

Notes later

[Benice]

Unless anyone objects, I would like to delay the deadline to tomorrow at midnight- I just might be able to frankenstein something together from my original idea within that time...

[TheSilentChloey]

1 hour ago, SoulWeaver said:

OK WE GOT IT

https://docs.google.com/document/d/199j3kk1YDGYv2UuydMsDfFe_IUd1qSDYtoW6nma0NGc/edit?usp=sharing

Notes later

Nice!!!

[AnonymousSpeed]

This one is called "Purim".

Spoiler

Long ago, there lived a kingdom called the Yellow Empire, and it was ruled by a king called the Yellow Emperor. All of the people from the capitol of the Yellow Empire had yellow skin, and that was why they called it that. Other people in other places were other colors, and they would come to the castle for work or other things, and so many colors lived there. The two most trusted advisors to the king where other colors, having come from other places to serve the royal house. One was red, from the red tribe, and so he was called Red Man. The other was blue, from the blue tribe, and so he was called Blue Man.

Red Man was the younger and more favored advisor, and so great jealousy rose up in Blue Man. So Blue Man went to the ear of the king and whispered honeyed words to him. "Are you not like a god unto these people?" He said. "You rule over them from a far palace as the gods rule over man from the far mountain. You wander in divine gardens as they do, receive tribute as they receive offerings, and when men wish for their words to be given weight, they swear by you. They beseech you for aid, and fear your power. Have the people prostate themselves before you and worship you. Put a golden idol of yourself on high in the city, at the palace gates, and command the people to honor it. Anyone in your palace who will not do so, have him be hung! For he has shown enmity to you and dishonored your commandments. He has shown contempt for your authority."

And it pleased the king, and he issued a decree, and had a golden idol put at the palace gates, and all were commanded to worship it, and the edict was signed with the imperial seal so that it could not be repealed. And it caused great consternation in the heart of Red Man, for the Red People are forbidden to make any graven images or worship any men or idols. When the king saw that he would not, he wept bitterly, for he was his most favored advisor.

Blue Man built a gallows for Red Man, and the rope was cast around his neck, yet broke. And he was strung again and a second time the rope was broken, and the astrologers and wise men in the king's court came before the king and said unto him, "Behold! The gods must favor him, for he has been twice delivered from the gallows. He has been hung and yet lived, and thy decree has been fulfilled."

And it greatly pleased the king to hear, and so he turned his wrath upon Blue Man. "You viper in my court! Have you sought to destroy my house from within? What you wished upon your enemies will now be delivered upon you!" And Blue Man was killed with the sword.

Blue Man had a son, who was then a young boy. He was the son of Blue Man, and he was blue like his father, so he was called Blue Son. He was not executed with his father and was allowed to keep his standing in the city, for the sins of the father are not visited upon the son in the Yellow Empire, as had been stamped with the imperial seal.

And Blue Son acquired education and wealth and prestige within the city, and was highly honored among all men, and began to move about spreading whispers in the ears of men. "Did not Red Man, being my father's rival, have him put to death, though it was he who disobeyed the king's commandments?" He said. "How he cries out against others when they strike him in retaliation! He beats them with his own hands and weeps. Surely he desires the whole kingdom for himself, and keeps the king's ear by him at all times."

Then the hearts of men were stirred with pity for Blue Son and with anger against Red Man. And Red Man grew in favor with the king as the anger stirred against him, and for his wealth they were more moved. "How shall we let this one man have much gold and honor while there are beggars among us? He is honored more and more by the king each day, he truly desires the kingdom for himself!"

In those days it was the custom of the Yellow Emperors to wear a purple cloak and golden crown, and drive forth from the palace in a chariot, and trumpets would sound for them, and in this way they and their sons were honored. It came to pass that the king made Red Man the most favored and powerful man in all of the Yellow Empire, second only to himself, and seeking to honor him, gave him the purple cloak and golden crown. He put a signet ring upon his finger and had him ride down the streets in the royal chariot, whose wheels were like the golden sun, and the trumpets played and men decreed, "Behold! Here is the man the king wants to honor!"

Then the wrath of the people was stirred up, and they began to whisper among themselves, saying, "Are there not more beggars among us know than in the days of our fathers?" So it was that night that Red Man returned home from the palace gates, and a mob formed around his house, saying, "Come out, that we may see the man that the king wants to honor!"

So Red Man came out with a sword by his side, and none approached him, but gnashed their teeth and called for his resignation. "We cannot have a man like this rule over us!" They said amongst themselves. "We cannot allow such treasonous souls to rule, nor even to watch the storehouses!" And among the crowd was a beggar, and he kept his pennies in a small pot, and he came forth in the commotion and threw the pot at Red Man, and it shattered and killed him. And the crowd descended upon him and tore him to pieces, so there was nothing left, not even for the dogs.

I actually thought of the story on its own, without a song, so let's just say it's inspired by the, uh...Israeli national anthem.

Edited September 1, 2022 by AnonymousSpeed

[Benice]

OP is updated! I didn't end up finishing, but maybe I'll be able tor recycle and scale down the idea for a later round.

Voting ends at Midnight PST of September 3rd! Happy reading and good luck to all who submitted!

[indigoasis]

In hindsight, I probably should have asked for the songs to be included. I guess I'll just Shazam the submissions instead.

@TheSilentChloey

Spoiler

Based on your notes, it seems I might have missed out on previous tales, but I didn't feel lost reading this at all; this works well as a standalone piece, given the reader understands the context.

I very much enjoyed the insight into Byleth's character. Compared to how he started out in TH as an emotionless husk, it's nice to see how he's come to care about his students to the point where he'll abuse his powers to keep them safe. I also can't help but be reminded of Re:Zero since Byleth's determination to try and keep everyone alive mirrors that of one of Subaru's goals. Similarly to how terrifying that story can be at times, your descriptions of how the students have died bring some real haunting images to mind, and I think that does a nice job of putting the reader in Byleth's mind and just how scary it can be.

The transition from the future to the past confused me for a moment since I didn't know which timeframe it was in at first, but I was able to figure it out. Either way, it's a nice little end to give a ray of hope for Byleth's quest.

And it's funny, I was just thinking today about how TH already has a golden route; it's literally in the name of Claude's house.

I'm glad you didn't peace out this round, this is great!

@SoulWeaver

Spoiler

This is a very nice little look into the mind of a man in his elder years glancing back into his memories, and a nice share of wisdom for readers, too. While he's talking to the crow in the story, it can definitely be interpreted as him actually talking to the reader; the crow is simply the stand-in recipient of the information so the man's wisdom has somewhere to go in the context of the story.

I do have a couple questions, though;

• What's the man's job, exactly? He is a street sweeper or something? I've never lived in the city, so I don't know.
• What song inspired you for this story?

@AnonymousSpeed

Spoiler

I really liked the commitment to the, er... 'Bible-style' of how your story was written, if that makes sense. Stories told in a prose similar to how the Bible is written can be pretty fun to read, and that remains true here. I think this also offers an interesting look on just how dangerous jealousy can be; it is one of the seven deadly sins, after all. One man's jealousy for another man's good fortune initially resulted in the jealous man meeting his due recompense; a pretty straightforward scenario of karma working its magic. After that, though, it takes a turn fairly different from what I would have expected given my perceptions of good and evil, and I think that's pretty interesting.

Even though there isn't necessarily any outwardly "good" person in this story, I figured the Red Man was on the side of "good" given that the Blue Man more or less aligned with "evil," which was probably a false assumption given that there was nothing that stated that the Red Man was good or evil. Anyway, the evil that dawned from one man's heart lives on after his death, spreads to others, and the Blue Man ultimately accomplishes his goals despite his less than magnanimous actions. There aren't a whole lot of stories that I can think of where evil wins over good; it's typically good winning over evil, or evil getting its just desserts in some fashion or another, so this is pretty fresh in that regard.

And if I understood the story correctly, I think the base concept of this is very neat, and you could definitely expand upon that.

However, I cannot in good conscience fail to mention the plain and simple fact of your rampant and blatant disregard for the prompt. Unfortunately, and I apologize for doing this, I'm going to have to take away one of your good noodle stars.

[TheSilentChloey]

2 hours ago, indigoasis said:

In hindsight, I probably should have asked for the songs to be included. I guess I'll just Shazam the submissions instead.

@TheSilentChloey

  Hide contents

Based on your notes, it seems I might have missed out on previous tales, but I didn't feel lost reading this at all; this works well as a standalone piece, given the reader understands the context.

I very much enjoyed the insight into Byleth's character. Compared to how he started out in TH as an emotionless husk, it's nice to see how he's come to care about his students to the point where he'll abuse his powers to keep them safe. I also can't help but be reminded of Re:Zero since Byleth's determination to try and keep everyone alive mirrors that of one of Subaru's goals. Similarly to how terrifying that story can be at times, your descriptions of how the students have died bring some real haunting images to mind, and I think that does a nice job of putting the reader in Byleth's mind and just how scary it can be.

The transition from the future to the past confused me for a moment since I didn't know which timeframe it was in at first, but I was able to figure it out. Either way, it's a nice little end to give a ray of hope for Byleth's quest.

And it's funny, I was just thinking today about how TH already has a golden route; it's literally in the name of Claude's house.

I'm glad you didn't peace out this round, this is great!

@SoulWeaver

  Reveal hidden contents

This is a very nice little look into the mind of a man in his elder years glancing back into his memories, and a nice share of wisdom for readers, too. While he's talking to the crow in the story, it can definitely be interpreted as him actually talking to the reader; the crow is simply the stand-in recipient of the information so the man's wisdom has somewhere to go in the context of the story.

I do have a couple questions, though;

• What's the man's job, exactly? He is a street sweeper or something? I've never lived in the city, so I don't know.
• What song inspired you for this story?

@AnonymousSpeed

  Reveal hidden contents

I really liked the commitment to the, er... 'Bible-style' of how your story was written, if that makes sense. Stories told in a prose similar to how the Bible is written can be pretty fun to read, and that remains true here. I think this also offers an interesting look on just how dangerous jealousy can be; it is one of the seven deadly sins, after all. One man's jealousy for another man's good fortune initially resulted in the jealous man meeting his due recompense; a pretty straightforward scenario of karma working its magic. After that, though, it takes a turn fairly different from what I would have expected given my perceptions of good and evil, and I think that's pretty interesting.

Even though there isn't necessarily any outwardly "good" person in this story, I figured the Red Man was on the side of "good" given that the Blue Man more or less aligned with "evil," which was probably a false assumption given that there was nothing that stated that the Red Man was good or evil. Anyway, the evil that dawned from one man's heart lives on after his death, spreads to others, and the Blue Man ultimately accomplishes his goals despite his less than magnanimous actions. There aren't a whole lot of stories that I can think of where evil wins over good; it's typically good winning over evil, or evil getting its just desserts in some fashion or another, so this is pretty fresh in that regard.

And if I understood the story correctly, I think the base concept of this is very neat, and you could definitely expand upon that.

However, I cannot in good conscience fail to mention the plain and simple fact of your rampant and blatant disregard for the prompt. Unfortunately, and I apologize for doing this, I'm going to have to take away one of your good noodle stars.

Spoiler

Claude's isn't a true golden route though since El gets killed, but yeah I can see it might being

Spoilery stuff out of the way, I tried to make it as easily done as possible while also looking into the chaos that is inside Byleth's head.  And I didn't expect it to be a standalone piece but I'm glad it is!

 

(Also the song that inspired it is Blue Skies and a Battle so no lyrics just what the actual track made me feel)

[Benice]

Hm.

Well, since it's already been two and a half days since the deadline and we're still tied... I suppose everyone gets to submit a prompt? Is everyone OK with that?

---

Although I never finished my entry, the two songs I was hoping to base it off of were Good Riddance by Green Day, and Against All Odds by Phil Collins. Next time I'm picking something instrumental so it can be shorter.

[SoulWeaver]

OBJECTION!!!

I have yet to vote. Let me just read Chloey's now that I have time, I somehow forgot she did one.

On 9/2/2022 at 3:28 PM, indigoasis said:

In hindsight, I probably should have asked for the songs to be included. I guess I'll just Shazam the submissions instead.

@TheSilentChloey

  Reveal hidden contents

Based on your notes, it seems I might have missed out on previous tales, but I didn't feel lost reading this at all; this works well as a standalone piece, given the reader understands the context.

I very much enjoyed the insight into Byleth's character. Compared to how he started out in TH as an emotionless husk, it's nice to see how he's come to care about his students to the point where he'll abuse his powers to keep them safe. I also can't help but be reminded of Re:Zero since Byleth's determination to try and keep everyone alive mirrors that of one of Subaru's goals. Similarly to how terrifying that story can be at times, your descriptions of how the students have died bring some real haunting images to mind, and I think that does a nice job of putting the reader in Byleth's mind and just how scary it can be.

The transition from the future to the past confused me for a moment since I didn't know which timeframe it was in at first, but I was able to figure it out. Either way, it's a nice little end to give a ray of hope for Byleth's quest.

And it's funny, I was just thinking today about how TH already has a golden route; it's literally in the name of Claude's house.

I'm glad you didn't peace out this round, this is great!

@SoulWeaver

  Hide contents

This is a very nice little look into the mind of a man in his elder years glancing back into his memories, and a nice share of wisdom for readers, too. While he's talking to the crow in the story, it can definitely be interpreted as him actually talking to the reader; the crow is simply the stand-in recipient of the information so the man's wisdom has somewhere to go in the context of the story.

I do have a couple questions, though;

• What's the man's job, exactly? He is a street sweeper or something? I've never lived in the city, so I don't know.
• What song inspired you for this story?

@AnonymousSpeed

  Reveal hidden contents

I really liked the commitment to the, er... 'Bible-style' of how your story was written, if that makes sense. Stories told in a prose similar to how the Bible is written can be pretty fun to read, and that remains true here. I think this also offers an interesting look on just how dangerous jealousy can be; it is one of the seven deadly sins, after all. One man's jealousy for another man's good fortune initially resulted in the jealous man meeting his due recompense; a pretty straightforward scenario of karma working its magic. After that, though, it takes a turn fairly different from what I would have expected given my perceptions of good and evil, and I think that's pretty interesting.

Even though there isn't necessarily any outwardly "good" person in this story, I figured the Red Man was on the side of "good" given that the Blue Man more or less aligned with "evil," which was probably a false assumption given that there was nothing that stated that the Red Man was good or evil. Anyway, the evil that dawned from one man's heart lives on after his death, spreads to others, and the Blue Man ultimately accomplishes his goals despite his less than magnanimous actions. There aren't a whole lot of stories that I can think of where evil wins over good; it's typically good winning over evil, or evil getting its just desserts in some fashion or another, so this is pretty fresh in that regard.

And if I understood the story correctly, I think the base concept of this is very neat, and you could definitely expand upon that.

However, I cannot in good conscience fail to mention the plain and simple fact of your rampant and blatant disregard for the prompt. Unfortunately, and I apologize for doing this, I'm going to have to take away one of your good noodle stars.

Spoiler

If you've ever read the Stormlight Archive series by Brandon Sanderson, this whole conversation was based on the epilogue of Words of Radiance, where a somewhat similar conversation occurs.

Job is kept ambiguous on purpose, it just grew out of the lyrics.

I thought I'd been pretty heavy-handed with the lyrics references, but if someone's unclear on what the song was I guess not. I used Viva La Vida, by Coldplay. Sorry I could only give you such a mainstream song instead of something weird yet catchy like Baked Noiz or sort of creepy like 4BLOOD, I know you were hoping for something as fabulous as Dancing Miku Man.

 

Edited September 7, 2022 by SoulWeaver

[SoulWeaver]

Hm. I have no familiarity with either of the songs you guys used. Guess we get to see how they stand on their own.

On 8/31/2022 at 5:42 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

This one is called "Purim".

  Reveal hidden contents

Long ago, there lived a kingdom called the Yellow Empire, and it was ruled by a king called the Yellow Emperor. All of the people from the capitol of the Yellow Empire had yellow skin, and that was why they called it that. Other people in other places were other colors, and they would come to the castle for work or other things, and so many colors lived there. The two most trusted advisors to the king where other colors, having come from other places to serve the royal house. One was red, from the red tribe, and so he was called Red Man. The other was blue, from the blue tribe, and so he was called Blue Man.

Red Man was the younger and more favored advisor, and so great jealousy rose up in Blue Man. So Blue Man went to the ear of the king and whispered honeyed words to him. "Are you not like a god unto these people?" He said. "You rule over them from a far palace as the gods rule over man from the far mountain. You wander in divine gardens as they do, receive tribute as they receive offerings, and when men wish for their words to be given weight, they swear by you. They beseech you for aid, and fear your power. Have the people prostate themselves before you and worship you. Put a golden idol of yourself on high in the city, at the palace gates, and command the people to honor it. Anyone in your palace who will not do so, have him be hung! For he has shown enmity to you and dishonored your commandments. He has shown contempt for your authority."

And it pleased the king, and he issued a decree, and had a golden idol put at the palace gates, and all were commanded to worship it, and the edict was signed with the imperial seal so that it could not be repealed. And it caused great consternation in the heart of Red Man, for the Red People are forbidden to make any graven images or worship any men or idols. When the king saw that he would not, he wept bitterly, for he was his most favored advisor.

Blue Man built a gallows for Red Man, and the rope was cast around his neck, yet broke. And he was strung again and a second time the rope was broken, and the astrologers and wise men in the king's court came before the king and said unto him, "Behold! The gods must favor him, for he has been twice delivered from the gallows. He has been hung and yet lived, and thy decree has been fulfilled."

And it greatly pleased the king to hear, and so he turned his wrath upon Blue Man. "You viper in my court! Have you sought to destroy my house from within? What you wished upon your enemies will now be delivered upon you!" And Blue Man was killed with the sword.

Blue Man had a son, who was then a young boy. He was the son of Blue Man, and he was blue like his father, so he was called Blue Son. He was not executed with his father and was allowed to keep his standing in the city, for the sins of the father are not visited upon the son in the Yellow Empire, as had been stamped with the imperial seal.

And Blue Son acquired education and wealth and prestige within the city, and was highly honored among all men, and began to move about spreading whispers in the ears of men. "Did not Red Man, being my father's rival, have him put to death, though it was he who disobeyed the king's commandments?" He said. "How he cries out against others when they strike him in retaliation! He beats them with his own hands and weeps. Surely he desires the whole kingdom for himself, and keeps the king's ear by him at all times."

Then the hearts of men were stirred with pity for Blue Son and with anger against Red Man. And Red Man grew in favor with the king as the anger stirred against him, and for his wealth they were more moved. "How shall we let this one man have much gold and honor while there are beggars among us? He is honored more and more by the king each day, he truly desires the kingdom for himself!"

In those days it was the custom of the Yellow Emperors to wear a purple cloak and golden crown, and drive forth from the palace in a chariot, and trumpets would sound for them, and in this way they and their sons were honored. It came to pass that the king made Red Man the most favored and powerful man in all of the Yellow Empire, second only to himself, and seeking to honor him, gave him the purple cloak and golden crown. He put a signet ring upon his finger and had him ride down the streets in the royal chariot, whose wheels were like the golden sun, and the trumpets played and men decreed, "Behold! Here is the man the king wants to honor!"

Then the wrath of the people was stirred up, and they began to whisper among themselves, saying, "Are there not more beggars among us know than in the days of our fathers?" So it was that night that Red Man returned home from the palace gates, and a mob formed around his house, saying, "Come out, that we may see the man that the king wants to honor!"

So Red Man came out with a sword by his side, and none approached him, but gnashed their teeth and called for his resignation. "We cannot have a man like this rule over us!" They said amongst themselves. "We cannot allow such treasonous souls to rule, nor even to watch the storehouses!" And among the crowd was a beggar, and he kept his pennies in a small pot, and he came forth in the commotion and threw the pot at Red Man, and it shattered and killed him. And the crowd descended upon him and tore him to pieces, so there was nothing left, not even for the dogs.

I actually thought of the story on its own, without a song, so let's just say it's inspired by the, uh...Israeli national anthem.

Spoiler

This one's interesting. You using Blue and Red made me think it was perhaps meant as a political satire, not sure what to think about that. It certainly seems to have a similarity or two to the 2016-2020 era, though I'm assuming this was not the intent. Regardless, this feels like it starts a bloodline war or something, we have like the ancient predecessor-prequel to Romeo and Juliet or something.

 

On 9/2/2022 at 6:19 PM, TheSilentChloey said:

  Hide contents

Claude's isn't a true golden route though since El gets killed, but yeah I can see it might being

Spoilery stuff out of the way, I tried to make it as easily done as possible while also looking into the chaos that is inside Byleth's head.  And I didn't expect it to be a standalone piece but I'm glad it is!

 

(Also the song that inspired it is Blue Skies and a Battle so no lyrics just what the actual track made me feel)

Spoiler

Here we run into a problem you and I are both guilty of: We both make small changes to a world and expect people to take those changes as just being there without question. In this case, Byleth talks in all Italics. I assume this means telepathy is happening because I'm used to using it that way, but you putting apostrophes around it implies verbal speech...until you realize you have regular quotations for verbal speech. I'm sure it's more of a personal nitpick, but it did bother me. My lack of 3H experience may be contributing to this though, I'm mostly assuming Byleth doesn't do telepathy in the base game. Another small issue I have is that Sothis and Byleth have their lines smashed into each other without any way to be sure we're looking at two different people. This is mostly an issue because only Byleth seems to do Italics, so then we have Italics that don't make sense from Byleth's perspective, but wait they're not Byleth. You fix it pretty fast by having Byleth mention her name, but I think it only works because it's so quickly resolved. Plus again because you're on a FE forum so a lot of us already know about that connection.

It's difficult, but I think I've gotta give it to Chloey since you're supposed to start with a song and then do the story. I like yours at least as much, Anon, but technically Indigo is correct in taking away a good noodle star.

[indigoasis]

42 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

  Hide contents

If you've ever read the Stormlight Archive series by Brandon Sanderson, this whole conversation was based on the epilogue of Words of Radiance, where a somewhat similar conversation occurs.

Job is kept ambiguous on purpose, it just grew out of the lyrics.

I thought I'd been pretty heavy-handed with the lyrics references, but if someone's unclear on what the song was I guess not. I used Viva La Vida, by Coldplay. Sorry I could only give you such a mainstream song instead of something weird yet catchy like Baked Noiz or sort of creepy like 4BLOOD, I know you were hoping for something as fabulous as Dancing Miku Man.

 

I have not read Brandon Sanderson, but I've heard he's incredibly good.

And that's what I figured the song was, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions, like this guy:

And yeah, I WAS hoping for Dancing Miku Man, wtf

[SoulWeaver]

1 hour ago, indigoasis said:

I have not read Brandon Sanderson, but I've heard he's incredibly good.

And that's what I figured the song was, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions, like this guy:

 

And yeah, I WAS hoping for Dancing Miku Man, wtf

Sanderson is a solid writer, the Mistborn series was great, that was him, and the Stormlight Archive has been phenomenal so far. He's very interesting to me because he appears to be running a Marvel-style multiverse called the Cosmere that links all his written works together, noted mainly by the continued presence of a gentleman named Hoid, who appears in basically every one of his books in some way or other. If you want somewhere to start that doesn't feel like you're going into a written variation of the MCU, I recommend Elantris. As far as I can tell it's quite standalone, and is a pretty decent story.

Spoiler

Sorry, I just couldn't do DMM justice, I didn't want to portray him poorly.

Edited September 7, 2022 by SoulWeaver

[TheSilentChloey]

9 hours ago, SoulWeaver said:

Hm. I have no familiarity with either of the songs you guys used. Guess we get to see how they stand on their own.

  Reveal hidden contents

This one's interesting. You using Blue and Red made me think it was perhaps meant as a political satire, not sure what to think about that. It certainly seems to have a similarity or two to the 2016-2020 era, though I'm assuming this was not the intent. Regardless, this feels like it starts a bloodline war or something, we have like the ancient predecessor-prequel to Romeo and Juliet or something.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Here we run into a problem you and I are both guilty of: We both make small changes to a world and expect people to take those changes as just being there without question. In this case, Byleth talks in all Italics. I assume this means telepathy is happening because I'm used to using it that way, but you putting apostrophes around it implies verbal speech...until you realize you have regular quotations for verbal speech. I'm sure it's more of a personal nitpick, but it did bother me. My lack of 3H experience may be contributing to this though, I'm mostly assuming Byleth doesn't do telepathy in the base game. Another small issue I have is that Sothis and Byleth have their lines smashed into each other without any way to be sure we're looking at two different people. This is mostly an issue because only Byleth seems to do Italics, so then we have Italics that don't make sense from Byleth's perspective, but wait they're not Byleth. You fix it pretty fast by having Byleth mention her name, but I think it only works because it's so quickly resolved. Plus again because you're on a FE forum so a lot of us already know about that connection.

It's difficult, but I think I've gotta give it to Chloey since you're supposed to start with a song and then do the story. I like yours at least as much, Anon, but technically Indigo is correct in taking away a good noodle star.

Guilty as charged 🤣

 

Now for the theme, I think this might suffice:

 

Some old, once forgotten reappeared and no one bar the crazy loony was prepared.

[Benice]

Congrats to @TheSilentChloey! Once you have the time, please submit your prompt for this month.

...Blimey, this is going to be a bit of a short round, isn't it?

[AnonymousSpeed]

8 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Some old, once forgotten reappeared and no one bar the crazy loony was prepared.

Revelation Moment.

You do not know the day or the hour the Son of Man will arrive.

[SoulWeaver]

16 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Some old, once forgotten reappeared and no one bar the crazy loony was prepared.

Image.ashx (223×311) (wizards.com)

[TheSilentChloey]

7 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Revelation Moment.

You do not know the day or the hour the Son of Man will arrive.

I hope that means something good xP

1 hour ago, SoulWeaver said:

Image.ashx (223×311) (wizards.com)

That is... mildly fitting lol

[SoulWeaver]

1 hour ago, TheSilentChloey said:

That is... mildly fitting lol

You basically described the entire Shadows Over Innistrad storyline with that prompt.

Incidentally, look at his ear.

[TheSilentChloey]

2 hours ago, SoulWeaver said:

You basically described the entire Shadows Over Innistrad storyline with that prompt.

Incidentally, look at his ear.

Well fuck!

[Benice]

OP has been updated! Sorry about being so slow this time around; I forgot about this thread as school was startin'.

You have until September 29th to get your entries in! Happy writing, all!

[SoulWeaver]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Guxr5LWalRoWmqMHBI1OpF0zNQq4K_plOntSHsjm4-g/edit?usp=sharing

Notes:

Spoiler

I am so sorry.

 

[indigoasis]

41 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Guxr5LWalRoWmqMHBI1OpF0zNQq4K_plOntSHsjm4-g/edit?usp=sharing

Notes:

  Reveal hidden contents

I am so sorry.

 

Ahem.

I shouldn't judge too early but...

I love this. This is great. It's as if this is what the entire existence of the internet has culminated to. Do not apologize for what you have written. I couldn't have written something better myself.

And thank you for the Bury the Light reference, I adore that song.