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Write Your Butt Off 358/II.8 prompts HD Final Chapter Prologue


Benice
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2 hours ago, Jotari said:

So it's nice to experiment with a different style of narrative, but I question the value of making this work like a script for an radio play. I feel it could just genuinely be richer describing the scene since basically the entire point of it is to be an action scene. Instead what we have is just pure dialogue. Pure dialogue is good, I like it a lot, I've even done some stories for this that was pure dialogue, but if you're going pure dialogue you need to have character drama, melodrama even. What we have here is basically just exposition. And exposition isn't a dirty word, stories definitely need exposition, but this story has exposition without much else. It's just some stuff that happened. I don't want to come across too harshly, having characters describe what they're doing is a pretty major hurdle for radio plays as a medium to begin with.

Also why are their names redacted if they've been included in the report? I kind of got the sense it was like a confidential offical tape, but then the ending suggests by way of people needing to report their whereabouts that it was unsanctioned, coupled with the names being included suggesting redactions weren't part of any kind of censorship and was just like, coincidentally missing audio. It's a bit unclear.

It was hard coming up with a decent idea for me personally, so I just kinda wrote something to write it. I wasn't expecting it to be good, lol.

Regardless, I appreciate the beefdack.

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On 5/30/2022 at 7:10 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I hope this does not disappoint @Newtype06 too terribly.

I'm disappointed that my entry didn't get more reviews

You did well to unite the drug premise with the mecha premise!

Also @Jotari you got me with "Fortunately we've just invaded Angola".

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14 hours ago, Jotari said:

Opening line is great.

Thanks, it's from Mighty No. 9.

14 hours ago, Jotari said:

Overall the story is fun. The premise is a bit ridiculous, but being so straight laced it gives a really nice vibe for the story and the overall future current year world made up for it. We get so many details delivered well that I could actually imagining life in this world, even if it is unbelievable. And that is no small feet for worldbuilding. The story also had a genuine twist in the middle that caught me off guard while also being blatantly choregraphed, so really nice job there.

Thank you. Is the world-building you're talking about more the economics or social stuff?

14 hours ago, Jotari said:

Also did you just not write a bunch of scenes in the middle? Was that meant to be something you were intending to write later or do you intend on expanding this work into a longer story and go back and do them? I'm guessing yes given the notes at the end, but's still kind of weird to just have single sentence descriptions of scenes like that.

It would have been just one scene, but yeah, more or less. I didn't want to push my luck by trying to write that dream sequence in an hour, but since I think there's a lot of potential in revisiting this, so I decided to have something public that would hold me to writing the scene later.

11 hours ago, Newtype06 said:

I'm disappointed that my entry didn't get more reviews

Also @Jotari you got me with "Fortunately we've just invaded Angola".

Remind me to fix that later.

Hey, I think you mean "we've just sent military equipment and personal to help alleviate the humanitarian crisis in Angola".

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Frick, I completely forgot that today's the end of the round.

Congrats to @AnonymousSpeed for pulling out the victory in this tightly contested round, and thank you to everyone who participated! Once you are ready, Speed, please present this month's prompt to us.

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17 hours ago, Jotari said:

Yes.

Amazing.

17 hours ago, Benice said:

Frick, I completely forgot that today's the end of the round.

Congrats to @AnonymousSpeed for pulling out the victory in this tightly contested round, and thank you to everyone who participated! Once you are ready, Speed, please present this month's prompt to us.

Ah, so glad I don't have to do that anymore.

Write about a small town.

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The countdown is up! Happy writing, all!

 

I actually have inspiration for this one! I'm gonna be really upset if I don't get anything in this round...

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Sorry for the Double post but uh....

 

Title: The Smallest of Things

Words: 1,047

Entry:

Post Read Notes

Spoiler

This is a Grima who sided with mankind instead of against them.  Also assuming that certain events haven't happened etc.  We know it all lol

 

The song is obvious if you've ever heard PCD which I do somewhat recommend, if only because that happens to be the first thing that I came up with to open the fic with.

 

And yes Grima is done with human's shit.

 

Edited by TheSilentChloey
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... don't even ask, I don't even know myself...

Title: Vivarium of the Goddess
Word Count: 2977
Fandom: Fire Emblem - Shadows of Valentia

Pre-Notes:

Spoiler

- Something of a warning, story has quite a dark direction. Not the kind of stuff I'd write... much, perhaps, but I still did it because... because.
- This is very AU, considering things. Should be obvious as the story unfolds, though the story itself doesn't go the full extent of showing how much.

Story:

Spoiler

Deep in the mountains between the Mila Valley and Zofia Desert lied a grove. It was very secluded, the path leading to it from the main road being almost hard to find, due to the abundant amount of plant life that lies across its length. If one were to spot it and reach the grove, they’d find themselves upon an impressive sight. The inner walls of the clearing were also filled with plant life, mostly vines and moss, coating the mountain walls to the very top in green. The main draw, however, was the grove itself. Magnificent looking trees, arranged in an orderly fashion consisting of several rows, extending from the grove entrance towards the back end, though leaving ample room at the very middle. They didn’t reach all the way to the end, though. Instead, they stopped short a small stone abode. Despite not being very big, the inside being a single room, it was still meticulously constructed. It was the home of the clearing’s sole inhabitant, the grove’s caretaker: A young yet mature looking woman. Currently, as it was still nighttime, she was currently asleep. However, it wasn’t long before dawn arrived. As the sun rose on the eastern sky, its light slowly reached down upon the clearing, and from there, began to pour into the abode. This is when the woman began to stir awake. Slowly, she rose to a sitting position, then moving her blanket aside and move to sit on the bed’s edge, before finally rising to stand.

Had any other soul be there to witness her, they’d quickly take notice of a few peculiarities in her appearance. First, her pointed ears. Second, that her long green hair at the bottom turned into a downward pointing crescent shape that seemed to defy gravity. If she were to be seen from the front, it’d give the illusion that she had wings. Last, and perhaps the most eye-catching detail, was the scaly tail that protruded from the lower back. It would be at this point that her identity would come to the forefront. She was the Divine Dragon Mila, Zofia’s patron deity. Often called the Earth Mother, Mila had the power to bless the soil, keeping it forever fertile and able to produce bountiful harvests. It was because of her that for thousands of years the southern parts of the continent were lush and verdant. As such, it wasn’t surprising to see the clearing was more of the same.

Now awake, Mila proceeded to change out of her nightgown and into her everyday attire. With the task done, she walked over to the back door of the building, and proceeded outside. In contrast to the front, the much smaller back area of the clearing didn’t have much. A small spring was at the base of the mountains; whose groundwater no doubt was the one feeding the plant life of the area. The spring was Mila’s destination, or rather, the area next to it, where a very curious site lay. From the distance, they could at first be mistaken for simple small rocks. However, upon closer inspection, the rocks would prove to be too square to be naturally occurring. That’s because they weren’t rocks but in fact, buildings. Tiny buildings whose dimensions could only be measured in inches, or just inch for the smallest of them. They were neatly arranged in a matter not unlike how it would be done in a big town or city. There was even a cobblestone floor in the space between them. The most shocking thing about this was that it wasn’t merely the tiny model of a settlement. It was real; as attested by the many figures, not even half an inch tall, that were mingling about or emerging from the buildings in this hour of the early morning. They weren’t bugs, however, but actual human women. They were all clad in the traditional clerical garb of the Mila Faithful.

The was no need for the Earth Mother to be too near before the tiny women would noticed she was approaching. How could they not, when the dragon, even in her human form, was like a colossus to them. Not even indoors they’d escape notice, as the footsteps would make the ground rumble beneath them, though thankfully never to dangerous or unstable degrees. Thus most of them stopped in their tracks, as their heads turned over and up at the approaching figure. Their expressions were varied, but one thing was clear: There wasn’t a single face showing happiness to their patron deity’s approach. Once Mila had reached the outskirts of the little town she knelt down, and looking down, she smiled.

“Good morning, my children,” she said in a soft-spoken voice.

In spite of her demeanor, it did little to change the ones of the tiny women, where their expressions remained neutral at best. Whether Mila noticed this or just didn’t care, it made little difference, for her own demeanor remained unchanged either. Instead, she lifted her gaze a little to be over the town. There, in the area between the spring, the buildings, and the mountain wall, was the town’s means of sustenance. Tiny orchards and groves housing various kinds of tiny trees, bushes, and even vines. Fields with all sorts of tiny crops. Even a segment of grassland where tiny animals grazed about, and tiny ponds where equally tiny fish dwelled. Mila observed this with a meticulous look, before glancing back at the town.

“Looks like the harvest today will be quite bountiful, as always,” she then clasped her palms together. “Isn’t that wonderful?”

Of course, it was thanks to her that it would be so, so she knew the answer already. Not that she expected an answer from them anyway. Their tiny voices would be hard-pressed to reach her ears even at full lung. Thus, she simply stood back up, turned around, and made her way back to her own abode. The tiny women, for their part, resumed their daily activities, long used to this routine.

---

It was already a little past midday. Mila sat in her abode, enjoying a warm cup of tea. As she brought up the cup again, she suddenly paused. Glancing over to the front door, she slowly placed the cup back down as a small frown showed on her face. She stood up and headed over to a window on the wall facing the main grove. There, in clear view, was a young woman. She stared in awe at her surroundings, as she slowly made her way across the clearing. She had short light blue hair, held a healing staff in one hand, and was clad in the all familiar looking cleric’s garb. This last detail made Mila flash a smirk, before adopting a more neutral expression with a subdued smile. She then proceeded to the front door and made her way outside.

The noise of the door alerted the young woman, who moved her gaze towards the stone building. Once her gaze met that of Mila’s, her eyes widened in surprise, and her mouth was left agape.

“M-Mother Mila…?” She finally spoke, trepidation in her voice.

Mila, for her part, simply nodded. This made the girl to be placed in further shock, as if she could not belief her senses in spite of the evidence before her. However, shortly after she quickly got on her hands and knees, head down to the ground. Mila brought a hand to her mouth to suppress a small chuckle, before then walking over to stand before the prostrating girl. She clasped her hands before her abdomen, and glanced down.

“Rise, child,” she commanded.

The girl promptly obeyed. She still looked in awe at Mila, but the initial shock had mostly passed on.

“Mother Mila, my heart leaps with joy to see you are safe and sound,” she said, as shock gave way to relief.

“As do mine,” Mila replied before gesturing behind her with her arm. “Please, come inside. I’m sure there’s a lot to discuss in light of our meeting.”

“Y-Yes, Mother,” the girl nodded.

Mila turned around and walked back towards the door, the girl following close behind. Once inside, the Earth Mother remained by the doorway, letting the girl pass, before closing the door herself.

“Now then,” Mila said after turning back to face the girl, “I would like to know your name, child.”

“Oh, I’m Silque,” the girl replied, “from Novis Priory.”

“Ah, yes, Novis,” the Earth Mother nodded. “You must have faced much hardships in order to reach this place on your lonesome.”

“Well, Novis wasn’t my last point of departure,” Silque said, “but regardless, it wasn’t that bad. I am more than capable to manage on my own in the wilderness.”

Mila smiled sweetly, though her eyes seemed to gain a patronizing gaze.

“Oh, you poor sweet child; there’s no longer a need to pretend.”

Silque gained a confused look.

“What? No, Mother, I…”

“Yes, now that you have come here,” Mila continued, seemingly not having heard the cleric, “you are safe now. Away from the ruin my brother has brought to the land.”

Silque was quick to sense that something was wrong. Though the Earth Mother was still smiling, the cleric began to feel unnerve from her gaze.

“Mother Mila, you are mistaken, that’s not… that’s not the case at all. The War Father is… he’s dead.”

Something seemed to flash in Mila’s mind, very briefly, but it was quickly suppressed. She then looked at the cleric with pity.

“Oh, child, what delusions have gripped your thoughts?” Mila shook her head. “Has the deteriorating condition of Valentia inflicted such a heavy toll on your mind?”

She then took a step forward, making the cleric make one step back. Fear had now gripped Silque. A part of her was screaming for her to get away, that it was dangerous to remain there. But she hesitated, the other part of her still in denial to the Earth Mother’s sudden behavior, not believing that it was happening.

“Fret not, dear Silque, for I am here now. I can now take care of you…”

The tone in her voice had now shaken Silque to the very core. This was the final push to convince her she had to indeed get out of there. Unfortunately, the Earth Mother was blocking the front door, but there was still the back one…

The cleric knew it would be futile. That even if she managed to get out of the building, that she would not be able to make it out of the clearing. But she had to try. She had to. She quickly turned around, lifted the skirt of her robe, and made a dash for the back door. Unfortunately, she had barely begun to extend her arm towards the knob when she felt magic around her. The effect was instantaneous; she felt her entire body go rigid, as she found herself unable to move at all. There she stood now, a living statue, fear frozen on her face.

“Oh, child, why would you run off back there? Where only misery, destruction, and death awaits?”

No longer being able to see the Earth Mother’s face only made the thing more chilling.

“Here you are safe. Here you will be looked after with utmost care. Here you’ll be reunited with your sisters.”

Even in her fear-driven state, this last statement was not lost on the cleric.

“Here you will remain, until the day comes where we can all venture out again. However long it takes. Years, centuries, or even millennia…”

If she could’ve, Silque would’ve fainted on the spot. This was already proving too much to bear.

“Now then, let us not delay.”

Silque felt magic once again flare up around her. Then, to her surprise, she saw the door moving away from her. However, at the same time, it was also becoming bigger. She also felt as if she was sinking into the ground, and her feet sliding across the floor, but she was sure she was not moving, more obvious on the reminder she was still frozen on the spot. If she could’ve, she would’ve gasped, having finally figured out what was happening: She was shrinking! For the next full minute, she could only watch helplessly as the door, still in her eyesight, become bigger and bigger, as well as farther and farther away. Soon, it had reached the point the door could now be thought of as a wall, a distant wall looking so far way, it would take several minutes of walking to reach.

Eventually it all came to an end. The sinking and sliding sensations stopped, and her surroundings stopped becoming ever larger. The cleric felt mobility return to her body as well. However, at this point it made little difference. After watching something she never thought possible; to have shrunk to a very minuscule size. She ignored how small she had become, but in the end, what did it matter? The room had become so mind-bogglingly enormous; the floor was now an expanse of stone as far as her eyes could see. The wall now so distant in the horizon, stretching up high to the ceiling which also loomed so far above. It was all too much for her mind to process. She fell to her knees, as despair took over her. Wishing with all her heart for this to simply be a nightmare. For what else could explain that the being that she had looked up to, to have devoted her entire life to serve, that she had come to consider a second mother… could have done that to her. Unfortunately, there would be no awakening. This was no nightmare.

It was real.

Suddenly, she felt tremors beneath her, and was soon enveloped in a giant shadow. In a decision she would immediately regret, she turned around and glanced up. The colossal form of the Earth Mother was glancing down at her. Still staring with that smile that was bound to haunt her actual nightmares for days to come. This finally proved to be the final straw for the poor cleric, and promptly blacked out.

---

As the afternoon ran its course over the clearing, the tiny women in the tiny town were going on in their daily businesses as usual, when they noticed Mila approach again. The Earth Mother knelt down, as she always did.

“My children,” she began, “with much joy I bring good news.”

What few of the women that hadn’t stopped to focus on their giant ‘caretaker’ finally did, their interest piqued. At least from those that could.

“Another of our sisters has braved the dangers of the outside world and arrived to our small oasis.”

The tiny women gained looks of surprise, many which then turned to pity and dismay. They began to whisper between themselves.

“Unfortunately, it seems the ordeal took a heavy toll on her, so she’s currently resting. Understandably, since she was on her lonesome, unlike how it was the last time.”

Her gaze then lingered towards the largest building of the town, which was essentially a manor. There, from a balcony of its highest floor, which overlooked the plaza the building stood in front of, stood a red haired young woman. She, in contrast to everyone else, was clad in an ornate gown as befitting for a blueblood or even a royal to wear, and the rest of her ensemble was fit to match. She was looking up to Mila with a stony expression, but the Earth Mother remained nonplussed, or perhaps wasn’t registering the action at all. She simply turned to gaze back to the town at large.

“That day had been nothing short of a miracle, but this is no less deserving of celebration. Unfortunately, it seems it will have to wait to be done properly, until your sister wakes up. Until then, look after her.”

Down there at the balcony, there was sudden flash of light. Once it disappeared, the unconscious form of Silque was left behind, lying on the balcony as if asleep. The red haired girl turned around, and upon gazing down at the cleric, her eyes widened in shock. She quickly lifted the skirts of her gown and hurried into the manor, no doubt to seek aid. Down at the plaza itself, having seen the flash, the women there also made their way inside through the building’s main entrance. Her job done, Mila stood once more, and made her way back to her own abode.

---

Night had finally come. The stars shone brightly high in the sky high above the clearing. In the tiny town, Silque was now resting atop a bed in one of the manor’s rooms. It was clear she would not wake until at least the following morning, so she was left to rest peacefully until then. She was bound to be in for quite the surprise once she did, but if there was to be a silver lining to all this, is that the right people would be there to help her come to terms to the new reality she would face. To guide her through the first day of what was now her new life… indefinitely.

As for the Earth Mother, she had changed back to her nightgown, ready to retire for the night. She lied down her head on the pillow, content for today’s events. A wayward child had been rescued. Another lost lamb returned to the flock. To be kept safe until the day arrived that they could venture out from their little oasis. To revive the land of Valentia, and make it flourish once more. She closed her eyes and let herself drift off into sleep, as one last thought crossed through her mind:

How long before the next wayward children would arrive…?

Author's Notes:

Spoiler

- As you saw, I took the "small" in "small town" quite literally. The chance for wordplay was too much to resist. I am drawn to the strangest/wildest of ideas as it were...
- Though easy to tell with the story itself, I hope, just in case: The main AU element is that Mila went cuckoo much faster and/or earlier than Duma did. So she went into self-seclusion earlier... and with company, out of a misguided sense to keep them safe. So you can imagine Rudolf's surprise when he comes knocking at the temple and there's no one there... except for the sluice gate operator, who is like: "I'm as baffled as you are, Your Majesty! They were just not here one day, all gone!"
- The main inspiration for this was Shining Force II, specifically the New Pompeii / Desktop Kingdom part. And the contrast is meant to be deliberate. While Mr. Creed had genuine good intentions in saving the people of old Pompeii... even though he still keeps them tiny for some reason, Mila meanwhile thinks she's doing the same thing but since her mind is already going through degeneration then the whole thing ends up warped.
- Yes, the red haired girl is Celica. With what happened to Silque, no guesses on how that happened too; but take note Mila stated she wasn't alone...
- Despite the prompt being about a small town... the town in question wasn't in focus for much of the story, wasn't it. I did considered writing the thing from their perspective, but felt it'd be more interesting to focus more on the reason why the town exists than with the town itself... and how it gains new residents. Well, it's still about the town in a way, so hopefully it still qualifies for the prompt. ... Is it even a town? It's not like there would be that many clerics, saints, and priestesses at the Mila Temple to begin with... So more of a village? Am I getting too caught up in the semantics of it?

... it happens...

EDIT: Forgot an author's note.

Edited by Acacia Sgt
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  • 2 weeks later...

I had an idea this morning I may try to implement, I was busy rewatching old BIONICLE commercials.

 

The generations that never grew up with bonkles truly missed out on greatness. Marvel has nothing on that storyline.

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31 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

I had an idea this morning I may try to implement, I was busy rewatching old BIONICLE commercials.

The generations that never grew up with bonkles truly missed out on greatness. Marvel has nothing on that storyline.

Xenoblade Chronicles also thoroughly BTFO'd by Bionicles. It's funny I know this because I only ever played with the toys.

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16 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Wait... what are we talking about again?  I thought it was that we killed a thread and not um... well idk....

I was clarifying that it only LOOKED like we killed the thread when in reality I was just occupied with obsessively rereading the entire storyline of BIONICLE, obsessively rewatching all the BIONICLE TV commercials, obsessively listening to the music from all the BIONICLE TV commercials, and autistically spending multiple entire evenings messing around with my old BIONICLE. I still need to find and rewatch all the movies and play all the games but if I have time after that I did have an idea to write for this that most definitely is not based on BIONICLE.

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6 hours ago, SoulWeaver said:

I was clarifying that it only LOOKED like we killed the thread when in reality I was just occupied with obsessively rereading the entire storyline of BIONICLE, obsessively rewatching all the BIONICLE TV commercials, obsessively listening to the music from all the BIONICLE TV commercials, and autistically spending multiple entire evenings messing around with my old BIONICLE. I still need to find and rewatch all the movies and play all the games but if I have time after that I did have an idea to write for this that most definitely is not based on BIONICLE.

Oh.  Okay.  Still confused lol

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Elimine dangit, why do I procrastinate so much... I really, really, really need to get writing...

 

Er, unrelated to the above- I'll be pushing back this phase's deadline to the 29th, because I'm gone all day on the 27th and 28th, so starting a poll would be a little tricky.

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14 hours ago, Benice said:

Elimine dangit, why do I procrastinate so much... I really, really, really need to get writing...

Hey, don't worry about it too much, I didn't get around to writing much of anything either this time around. You're not alone!

I did come up with a good idea for something to write, but it's completely unrelated to the prompt, so that'll have to be a passion project when I can really get around to it and hopefully submit if it actually fits a future prompt.

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48 hours, looks like you guys are getting mine after all.

Separate note, does anybody here emulate for FEH? I’m at the point I have to if I want to play but I don’t want to just go get the fancy emulator just to have it shoot my battery life to heck.

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Burned some midnight oil to make sure I beat Benice.

Title: Definitely not Yu-Gi-Oh!

Notes:

Spoiler

Rushed, poorly formatted, requires a bunch of background info about an obscure topic to properly understand, only mentions the prompt in a way that shouts loud and clear that I only remembered there was supposed to be a prompt after finishing the entire rest of the piece, yep, this is by me alright. I imagine the fact that she's currently into YGO means Chloey might be able to make a little sense out of the basic concept, but it's a stretch to compare Exceed to YGO so I'm not crossing my fingers.

Also I'm mad that I can't shadow words in Doc format, I only just discovered this amazing feature of OpenOffice and now I have to pretend I didn't discover it because Bill Gates was lazy or some crap like that.

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