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FE12 Maniac PMU: The Funky Sequel


Shaky Jones
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Spoiler

Hey, I've been meaning to ask. What's up with the "http://" in front of every image? That's not really necessary, or at least it shouldn't be. Is it automatically placed or something?

6 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord Castle

Kinda regret not following your previous LP too closely now.

6 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord had spent the last year in complete isolation. His life was hell. The scars he received came from remnants of the IRS who occasionally managed to find him, but quickly die before dealing any fatal blows. He holds many bruises, but has lost his resolve to defend himself, so his defense has massively decreased. He simply fights with pure strength to obliterate his foes. Sometimes, other knights of different kingdoms would spot him, but would try to kidnap him to blackmail Cord Castle. As such, he has killed countless enemies.

So uhhhhh

Cord is Kelik? We call him Kelord now? Or Cordik? Nah, Cordik sounds like a viking badass. Kelord sounds like a cereal brand. Kelord is funnier.

7 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

This particular vision shocked Cord. He couldn't move for a turn, allowing for them to land the first hit.

"G-Grandpa!?!? You're alive!?"

After a stab wound, he instinctively strikes back, and the old man fades away. He comes back to his senses to see that he has simply killed a bear. His train of thought were flooded with memories of his grandfather, or "gramps", as he used to say. He decided to set up camp for the night and eat bear meat to recover some stamina. He also took care of some of his wounds, but he hardly able to sleep that night.

Holy shit, this is so sad though. You turned the lackadaisical FE12 prologue into something sad.

9 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Rody didn't care for death though. Luke tried sleeping with his sister once. It was kinda cringe.

He was thrilled to meat the man himself, but he knew that something was off. He attempted to use words to calm him down, but it was a pointless effort. He was soon also slain, terrifying Ryan.

Ryan: "W-wait! You're K-King Cord!?!?"

I was wondering what was going on here until I realized, oh yeah. This is a PMU. Neither of these idiots was picked.

Jikes...

9 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord would not let this happen though, so he did what he thought he had to do.

http://toc1suD.png?1

It was tough fending off the simp guards, and Ryan almost dies, but Cord manages to wipe them out after Ryan weakens them out

I like the subtle image cut to hide Luke and Rody up there

12 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

As always, Cord attempts rushing to the front lines to wipe everyone out, but is halted by a bald curate, Wrys. Cord was angered by this, but Wrys's calm demeanor and wisdom was able to get through to him just enough to convince him not to go headfirst into battle. Instead, he went to a chokepoint to let the enmies only hit him 2 at a time.

Wrys is already a hero.

13 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord couldn't just kill him. Something about him just exuded an aura that he couldn't quite comprehend, but it was relaxing. He couldn't stop looking at his shiny bald head. He decided to keep him in his company. A healer will make it easy for Cord to travel without need to rest.

Wrys's Wrysness has just saved him from Kelord.

I knew I made the right call in assigning him to you through my Benice pick. I already love that Wrys is a part of this.

14 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

To the one of you that read through this and thought "Wait a minute...this is just Dimitri Blue Lions! I hate 3 Houses!", think of it this way. I converted that arc through a better character in a better game. There ya go.

Not me. The only times I think about Three Houses's existence is to hate on it.

 

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Ah yes, my Sunday is now complete.

30 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Rody didn't care for death though. Luke tried sleeping with his sister once. It was kinda cringe.

Spoiler

 

 

30 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord experience

Cord Experience Requiem.

I don't watch anime.

30 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

To the one of you that read through this and thought "Wait a minute...this is just Dimitri Blue Lions! I hate 3 Houses!", think of it this way. I converted that arc through a better character in a better game. There ya go.

Well, I was unsure at first, but now I'm convinced. Shame you can't recruit Lorenz in this game.

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7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not me. The only times I think about Three Houses's existence is to hate on it.

Well I see you made much more comparisons to Kelik, which is fair. I still demand IS to apologize to the dev of Last Promise for stealing his character to make Felix, the rajinto, and xiegfried (however you spell them).

7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, I've been meaning to ask. What's up with the "http://" in front of every image? That's not really necessary, or at least it shouldn't be. Is it automatically placed or something

Ok so, I actually don't know how to post them properly. No one brought it up, so I assumed its fine, but I'd prefer to not have it there. I tried removing the link name after putting it in the post, but then the image doesn't appear. I use imgur btw. Everyone else seems to post just fine, so I kinda got too nervous to ask fir help since I might look stupid, and the answer will sounds very vague to me.

2 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

I don't watch anime

Yes, I'm aware. You made a whole thread dedicated to that. I have seen death note though, so I am to believe I'm banned from there. Poor me.

3 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Well, I was unsure at first, but now I'm convinced. Shame you can't recruit Lorenz in this game.

Shame 3H Lorenz doesn't blow himself up.

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1 minute ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ok so, I actually don't know how to post them properly. No one brought it up, so I assumed its fine, but I'd prefer to not have it there. I tried removing the link name after putting it in the post, but then the image doesn't appear. I use imgur btw. Everyone else seems to post just fine, so I kinda got too nervous to ask fir help since I might look stupid, and the answer will sounds very vague to me.

I think if you just copy the image itself and not the image link, you'll be fine.

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4 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well I see you made much more comparisons to Kelik, which is fair. I still demand IS to apologize to the dev of Last Promise for stealing his character to make Felix, the rajinto, and xiegfried (however you spell them).

I demand IS incorporates The Last Promise as an official title. It's better than a handful of the official titles!

Quote

Ok so, I actually don't know how to post them properly. No one brought it up, so I assumed its fine, but I'd prefer to not have it there. I tried removing the link name after putting it in the post, but then the image doesn't appear. I use imgur btw. Everyone else seems to post just fine, so I kinda got too nervous to ask fir help since I might look stupid, and the answer will sounds very vague to me.

Imgur, huh. I used that for a while, but it gave me a number of issues. Still, if your problem is just this... Have you tried opening Imgur in a second window, then physically drag the image to the Serenes post editor? Either that, or right-click the image and pick "copy link to image" or something along those lines, then paste that link to the Serenes editor. The image should automatically show up after a few seconds. Sorry I don't have the proper English terminology, my computer's in Spanish.

Edited by Saint Rubenio
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22 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well I see you made much more comparisons to Kelik, which is fair. I still demand IS to apologize to the dev of Last Promise for stealing his character to make Felix, the rajinto, and xiegfried (however you spell them).

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I demand IS incorporates The Last Promise as an official title. It's better than a handful of the official titles!

It's my understanding that Blazer considers (or at least used to, when he was 15 and made the entire thing basically himself like a Chad) considers the Last Promise to be "the Last Promise" and not "Fire Emblem: the Last Promise". I think he might have called it "a Fire Emblem experience", but he did not consider it a Fire Emblem game. You don't even kill a dragon at the end, so he's probably right to be honest.

19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Imgur, huh. I used that for a while, but it gave me a number of issues.

Interesting. What do you use now? I typically upload my memes by posting them in Discord chats with bots, but I'd like to hear what you do.

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

my computer's in Spanish

Have I ever told you about Greek question marks?

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Just now, AnonymousSpeed said:

It's my understanding that Blazer considers (or at least used to, when he was 15 and made the entire thing basically himself like a Chad) considers the Last Promise to be "the Last Promise" and not "Fire Emblem: the Last Promise". I think he might have called it "a Fire Emblem experience", but he did not consider it a Fire Emblem game. You don't even kill a dragon at the end, so he's probably right to be honest.

Oh yeah, that's true. How silly of me to suggest TLP is FE...

Just now, AnonymousSpeed said:

Interesting. What do you use now? I typically upload my memes by posting them in Discord chats with bots, but I'd like to hear what you do.

I use a site called imgbox.com. Simple and to the point, you upload your image and it shows up. Galleries of up to 500 images, easy and straightforward UI, no limits on upload time or number whatsoever. It's a bit slow at times, and I don't like the ads (not that this matters if you have an adblocker), but it's reliable enough. You don't even have to sign up to upload, though you might want to if you want to be able to keep track of your images.

Imgur gave me constant headaches. Galleries got all out of order if I uploaded too many images at a time - inconsistent number too, sometimes it happened for more than two images, other times I could upload hundreds without trouble. At one point they made some horrible, horrible changes which resulted in all of my galleries becoming a complete mess and the process of uploading images to a gallery to begin with becoming horrible. The theories were that they were trying to push people to stop using Imgur as an image host and start using it as a social media, since that's where the money is. I chose to jump ship.

Just now, AnonymousSpeed said:

Have I ever told you about Greek question marks?

looooooooool ;

You never go to bed without learning something new. That's amazing.

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34 minutes ago, FlyingKitsune said:

I think if you just copy the image itself and not the image link, you'll be fine.

Wow, I'm a clown.

Thanks for helping though! That's been bothering me for a while. If I was very patient, I'd go and edit my old PMU, but that would take hours. There's at least 200 images there.

Ah well. At least this one and all future LP's will look normal now.

33 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Imgur, huh. I used that for a while, but it gave me a number of issues.

Well, at least it works now, so I won't have to go changing it anytime soon. Probably. Hopefully.

12 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

It's my understanding that Blazer considers (or at least used to, when he was 15 and made the entire thing basically himself like a Chad) considers the Last Promise to be "the Last Promise" and not "Fire Emblem: the Last Promise". I think he might have called it "a Fire Emblem experience", but he did not consider it a Fire Emblem game. You don't even kill a dragon at the end, so he's probably right to be honest.

Damn. 

Well I knew about the fact that he made it when he was just a teen, which i why I mostly forgive a lot of its jank and corny writing, especially given the year it was made in. Besides, that's part of the charm. Who doesn't love Athares, Tekun, and Kelik himself? 

4 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh yeah, that's true. How silly of me to suggest TLP is FE...

TLP is above FE

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1 minute ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wow, I'm a clown.

Naaaaah, don't beat yourself up like that. It happens, nobody is born all-knowing.

1 minute ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well, at least it works now, so I won't have to go changing it anytime soon. Probably. Hopefully.

Oh yeah, if it works, don't fix it.

1 minute ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well I knew about the fact that he made it when he was just a teen, which i why I mostly forgive a lot of its jank and corny writing, especially given the year it was made in. Besides, that's part of the charm. Who doesn't love Athares, Tekun, and Kelik himself? 

Kelik is an edgelord with character development. Over the years I've found myself warming up to him. I can hardly believe it myself!

1 minute ago, Shaky Jones said:

TLP is above FE

Too true.

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2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The theories were that they were trying to push people to stop using Imgur as an image host and start using it as a social media, since that's where the money is. I chose to jump ship.

Sounds lame. Imgur has a terrible layout for social media anyway- just like Reddit does.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

looooooooool ;

Programmers absolutely love Greek question marks.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Besides, that's part of the charm

Like a potato or a rock, it's the lumps and sharp edges which give it organic character.

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3 hours ago, JimmyBeans said:

A timeline where Cord managed to get above E axes at base is truly a blessed one

I believe you mean, every DSFE playthrough. 

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Kelik is an edgelord with character development. Over the years I've found myself warming up to him. I can hardly believe it myself!

Out of curiosity, what are your thoughts on Anakin and Siegfried in comparison? Siegfried always felt like he was the largest focus for a lot of the plot, since he was the one tryharding to slaughter the Magnians. On second thought, maybe there should just be a 20+ page forum called "Ruben critically analyzes The Last Promise". I'd join in at least.

2 hours ago, eclipse said:

And it's started.  Ryan will either get all the stats or none at all.  Such is Ryan.  Good luck with the run!

I wish Ryan got bad stats...

Hope that luck wishing goes to Astram. That'd be cool.

2 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Like a potato or a rock, it's the lumps and sharp edges which give it organic character.

Amen.

P5:

After clearing the way, Cord was able to bring Ryan into the city, telling him where to head, then planned to leave off to where he originally wanted to go. At this point Ryan was too curious to just walk away.

Spoiler

Ryan: "Cord? Just what are you looking for? Why won't you come back? I won't tell on you, but I really wanna know what made you leave"

Cord: "Stay out of this"

Ryan: "You seem hellbent on obtaining something. I think it's revenge. Someone hurt you dearly, didn't they?"

Cord: "STAY OUT OF THIS!!!"

Wrys: "Some say revenge is never the solution...I say it is the best medicine"

Ryan: "......"

Cord: "......"

Ryan: "Welp. I'm sold. Take me with you.

Cord: "Like hell I'm brining a kid with me, especially after everything I did just to bring you here!

Ryan: "I want to be helpful! I just wanted to train up my bow skills. How will I ever amount to anything sitting at home crying for my brother to do everything!

Cord: "That line of thought will just get you killed"

Ryan: "Oh, and that line of thought killed you!?"

Cord went silent. While not exactly a brother, Cord recalled Bord being the main wood chopper prior to him spending every hour of his childhood pulling his weight, arduosly working with him to help out. Of course, he'd disguise it as a competition to look tough, but he really looked up to Bord. Cord remembered fishing for a meal while Bord tried chopping wood during a snowstorm, barely surviving the event. Ever since, Cord worked non-stop for practically everything he's ever done. He could tell that Ryan wanted the same thing. So, he gave him a chance. 

They went back, returning to where Cord was originally traveling. What Cord didn't know was that Athena was secretly following them, since Wrys healed her earlier. She was in his debt. Soon, they discover a destroyed village. In that building was a masked man. Smoke erupted, and by the time it cleared, he left. What came out instead was a group of brigands, thiefs, and hunters. Cord knew he was on the right track.

Spoiler

512EvPo.png?1

Cord baits out most enemies, while Wrys heals his wounds, and Ryan weakens anyone that tried to hit Cord from behind. Athena makes an appearance along with Merric. This surprised Cord, but he had no time to question them. 

alP5Opl.png?2

This is a good start. I hope this run will bless my Wrys. 

I still plan on using Frost to kill Gharnef just to antagonize Ruben

xUk2NrB.png?2

I'm telling you guys. Cord is good. On a side note, you can see Luke and Rody backed into a corner on the Wrys screenshot. Sadly, I couldn't crop it out without just butchering the pic entirely, but it shows that they're technically still alive for the money bonus and 3x requirement, but I did prohibiting myself from using them since p4. Might as well add spice to the prologue since the real PMU doesn't start just yet. Similarly, Caeda is also banned. Not dead, but not in the party canonically. I'm hip.

fJllFu5.png?1

Ryan takes out the last non-boss enemy and levels up. Cord and Athena basically did most of the work here. He needs kills too.

OnxGBgW.png?1

Dammit. Why did none of you draft Ryan...

jTDyu6Q.png?1

Imagine getting 2 shot'd as a boss. By an iron weapon. Dude doesn't even have a name.

DbmdnDs.png?1

Gotta get those defense points up. 

Once the enemy was routed, Cord began interrogating Athena. She explained that she and her men were trying to make a life living in Cord Castle, but as refugees from a foreign nation carrying their thick accent, those at the front gate rejected them in fear that they would cause problems, as almost any nation in the FE world tends to be evil if not strictly stated to be allies. Wrys, wanting to aide them, chose to guide them through the hidden entrance. Cord asks why he didn't tell him as he was killing these poor refugees.

Wrys: "You didn't ask"

P6:

Continuing their journey, Cord encounters the famous Ogma. As a merc, he was hired to hunt down the Cordman. 

Ryan: "The mercenaries are coming! We've been compromised!"

Cord: "Spit it out kid!"

Ryan: "Oh Cord. We are so ****ed"

Spoiler

PAYh3Hk.png?1

Luckily, Wrys foresaw this, so he ordered an Uber who arrived with weapons he carried in his younger life. 

5KeIcNi.png?1

I can't quite recall how I played through the chapter, but I do remember a lot of unequipping strats. I assmue this chapter is a tutorial on that, how to properly use chokepoints, mainly on Lunatic since everyone obliterates you...unless you just use Armor Kris.

MrYG0MA.png?1

By turn 3, things got mostly sorted out. I completely forgot how I dealt with this, but just assume that it was real cool.

xZFIMWX.png?1

Eyy, speedwrys

CiWCGKQ.png?1

Cecile does a thing. I haven't given her a kill since my 2nd playthrough of FE12.

H2odAJS.png?1

Ogma was tough, but I got him game ended'd without too much trouble. We had Wrys with us. We couldn't lose.

P7:

It didn't take much traveling until Cord was stopped yet again. He was getting tired of all these distractions. It was never this busy when he was alone. Although, his life has been going easier, and he's been gaining a bit of his sanity back.

However, this next encounter would truly shock him. He was stopped by none other than Cain himself. The very man who defeated Gharnef. The mightiest mage user in all of Archanea. He wasn't using any tomes though. Instead, he was on a cavalier, using a sword. Regardless, Cord hesistated before pulling his axe.

Spoiler

Cain: "Cord...To think this would be how our reunion would be"

Cord: "Cain. You tracked with down with your magic, didn't you?"

Cain: "I abandoned magic long ago. That tome. Starlight. It's infused in my blood. Even with it gone, I feel its power. I can sense everyone's presence. The veins in my forehead pulsate. It hurts. I just want to live a normal life. But, at least, I was able to find you, my lord."

Cord: "You know I can't come back now"

Cain: "It's not a matter of you wanting to return. People are dying, revolts are rising, other kingdoms are using this opportunity to raid our land! I care not for your reason, not anymore. You will come back, or you will kill me here and now. I'll be satisfied either way, knowing I've done my part for this country."

Cord: "Cain....."

Cain: "Draw your axe. Clearly, words won't resolve this. Not here. You've lost it. I'll show you myself after I've dragged you back to the land you abandoned!"

Cord: "You think I'm not aware of the consequences of my action!? I know well what I've done. It wasn't much better before! Do you realize how many rebellions occurred during my ruling!? How many lives I've failed to protect!? 

Cain: "There are countless of actions you've done that surpass those flaws! Your people know of your inexperience, and they work hard everyday to give you the opportunity to make your kingdom what we all strive for!"

Cord: "Most of my actions weren't even mine. I had others do the hard work for me...Marth, Darros, sometimes I just do what Barst would've done. Nothing I do by my own thoughts. 

Cain: "Need I remind you of Cordcoin? No one told you to start that. You restored the economy of Barst's Altea!"

Cord: "I left my kingdom to rot when I went to Aurelis! It was a miracle it wasn't too late. My war with the IRS got countless killed! I lost soldiers left and right. I lost Bord!"

Cain: "You stopped the entire IRS! What happened to Bord was his choice! Leaving now would make his sacrfice all in vain. Is that what you want!?"

Cord: "I...."

Cain: "...Bah...this is pointless. It is time for battle!"

Spoiler

rPRwcqO.png?1

Cain's soldiers come out of the forts. Cord quickly rushes to the knight and wipes him out with a steel axe. This kill however, filled him with grief. These were his own men. His senses were starting to return, and his hands start shaking.

EfvgupE.png?1

Somehow, Athena cuts through thick armor with a sword. Ok.

FMMQqsO.png?1

After enemies rush from both sides, the gang works on taking them out, and Ryan angers me yet again. He should've been a free unit...

KCPMCLo.png?1

This chapter actually took quite a few attempts. I didn't bring Caeda, so I couldn't block the peg reinforcement in time, and it was hard blocking a majority of them with who I had. Cecile dies in 2 hits from anything, so she could barely fight at all. Wrys gets OHKO'd by the peg, so he had to be far away, so he couldn't heal Cord. Here's Athena blocking the cav spawn from running to Wrys.

rVD5ykC.png?1

Speedster strikes again

vMkkrG7.png?1

It didn't take long for Cord to badly wound Cain. He didn't want to attack, but then Cain slashed his leg, causing him to retaliate, killing Cain, but not before he made one last speech to him.

Cain: "I...can finally rest"

Cord: "Dammit Cain! Why'd you have to go waste your life like that!

Cain: "This was a long time...coming. This magic...is a cancer to my mind...I see...destruction...if I didn't fight here...and now *cough*"

Cord: "What do you mean!?"

Cain: "I had to die...the starlight...needs a new successor..."

Cord: "Cain...you damn fool!

Cain: "Perhaps...Cord...please..you must return to your people. I cannot...make you return...but *gasps for breath*...think of what Bord and Barst would've wanted"

Cord: "....Every night. I see them. They stare down at me. I hear Bord's screams as the dragon tore his flesh. Barst...wouldn't have wanted me to have ruled if knew this is how it would turn out. I am fueled by vengeance, and revenge. I'm a monster."

Cain: "C-Cord...you are..the combination...of everything we need. Barst's strength and courage...Marth's honor for his people...Bord's desire to acheive everything...he set out his mind to...you are...Altea's only...

9EkCboz.png?1

You defeated Cain! 50 exp earned.

Cord was devastated. He couldn't keep going through with this. Not after everyone who has suffered. He went back to the abandoned village from P5. He had to reflect on this. He sat, staring into the sunset, pondering over many things. He was lost in thought, but he wasn't alone. Wrys came by, offering some word of advice.

I guess the next post will just be P8. Starting now, posts will be much shorter, at least for story. Usually, I spend a very long time with screenshots for each turn, but we'll get our PMU units soon enough. 

Edited by Shaky Jones
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Ryan should've been drafted, but I was too late. . .what do you mean, do I have a thing for green-haired archers?  OF COURSE NOT!  Ahem. . .

I think it should be easy enough to explain Catria here, if you don't mind a bit of cheesy storytelling!

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1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Starting now, posts will be much shorter, at least for story. Usually, I spend a very long time with screenshots for each turn, but we'll get our PMU units soon enough. 

Excitement indeed. The adventures of Cordmitri and Speedwryngs must continue.

Ryan can cheer people on from the sidelines, even if he is not a drafted unit. Warrior Ryan sounds fun, actually...

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15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Out of curiosity, what are your thoughts on Anakin and Siegfried in comparison?

Siegfried's good. His writing was a bit too on-the-nose at times, he's made out to be more unlikeable than I think was intended. But ultimately, I like what Blazer was going for with him. His involvement in the final chapter came a bit out of nowhere, but it made for some cool drama.

As for Anakin, he's my favorite character in the game. A narcoleptic vagrant who uses his talents as a speaker to rally people to the cause that he happened to join by chance, eventually growing more confident and becoming a better leader than the army's so-called "general", is a more unique concept than anything I've seen in any other hack since. He also pulls off the "naive lord" shtick way better than Corrin, which is kinda sad. And his dynamic with Kelik is legit great.

Quote

On second thought, maybe there should just be a 20+ page forum called "Ruben critically analyzes The Last Promise". I'd join in at least.

Hah! Well, I am more of a TLP apologist than most. Yes, the writing is often juvenile, the references are heavy-handed and it's certainly flawed (Shon chickening out of the final chapter is super disappointing), but I do feel it's ridiculed a bit too much. There are some highlights. Howard, for instance. Howard's a pretty good character, I feel.

Helps that I really enjoy TLP's gameplay, even all these years later. It's not perfect, but it has an almost Kaga-like creativity to it that I really appreciate.

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wrys: "Some say revenge is never the solution...I say it is the best medicine"

This does not sound like something Wrys would say.

Is Gharnef impersonating our favorite bald man?

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

alP5Opl.png?2

This is a good start. I hope this run will bless my Wrys. 

Ahhhh there it is. The Wrysening begins. You will be very glad you took him with you.

Quote

I still plan on using Frost to kill Gharnef just to antagonize Ruben

Don't threaten me with a good time. Angry is the last thing I'd be if you killed the Dank Pontifex with Frost.

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

OnxGBgW.png?1

Dammit. Why did none of you draft Ryan...

In my latest FE12 run, Ryan procced defense in every level and rammed the unpromoted defense cap as a knight. First time I ever got any use out of an unpromoted knight in this game.

Unfortunately, his offensive stats were lackluster, so eventually I droppped him. But he was an invincible badass until the Gotoh arc. You know, the 10 year old. He earned my respect forever.

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

jTDyu6Q.png?1

Imagine getting 2 shot'd as a boss. By an iron weapon. Dude doesn't even have a name.

But he does have a distinctive laugh. That gives him more personality than half the bosses in Shadow Dragon! Also many bosses in Three Houses don't have names or faces either, and Three Houses is the best game in the series, so what's your point?

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

5KeIcNi.png?1

I can't quite recall how I played through the chapter, but I do remember a lot of unequipping strats. I assmue this chapter is a tutorial on that, how to properly use chokepoints, mainly on Lunatic since everyone obliterates you...unless you just use Armor Kris.

Yeah, that's how this map usually goes. You have to be really careful about how many units you kill at a time.

You know, when I was first reading this, it was at this point that I realized you completely glossed over Merric's existence. Everyone else got some sort of acknowledgement, even if only a joke like Cecille, but I guess we're just pretending Merric doesn't exist.

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

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Eyy, speedwrys

Speedwrys, skillwrys, luckwrys, hitpointwrys. Magiwrys in the last level. What's there not to love?

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord: "I left my kingdom to rot when I went to Aurelis! It was a miracle it wasn't too late. My war with the IRS got countless killed! I lost soldiers left and right. I lost Bord!"

Cain: "You stopped the entire IRS! What happened to Bord was his choice! Leaving now would make his sacrfice all in vain. Is that what you want!?"

Cord: "I...."

Cain: "...Bah...this is pointless. It is time for battle!"

On second thought, I think this was made even funnier by the fact that I lack the previous LP's context and I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that Cord is a hardcore tax evader.

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

rVD5ykC.png?1

Speedster strikes again

Ahahahahahah yeeeessssss

With each level, his power grows.

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cain: "This was a long time...coming. This magic...is a cancer to my mind...I see...destruction...if I didn't fight here...and now *cough*"

Hey. You wouldn't dare to put Frost through this, right? Let's be friends, now. You wouldn't want me to have to take... drastic measures, now would you?

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cain: "C-Cord...you are..the combination...of everything we need. Barst's strength and courage...Marth's honor for his people...Bord's desire to acheive everything...he set out his mind to...you are...Altea's only...

Well, one can certainly tell that you're Cord's biggest fan.

...Unlike me, whose favorite character from Binding Blade is Raigh, and yet I put him through hell during my FE6 LP... But I digress.

15 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

He was lost in thought, but he wasn't alone. Wrys came by, offering some word of advice.

Wrys is the ocean's gray waves?

Omg Wrys is Garon I knew I liked him for a reason

 

15 hours ago, eclipse said:

Ryan should've been drafted, but I was too late. . .what do you mean, do I have a thing for green-haired archers?  OF COURSE NOT!  Ahem. . .

If it makes you feel better, I got Jones to use Tomas in his (unfortunately undocumented) FE12 ironman run that he did shortly before starting the PMU. He killed Hardin and Medeus with Tomas, thus becoming the fourth(?) member of the Tomas club. I was proud.

14 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Ryan can cheer people on from the sidelines, even if he is not a drafted unit. Warrior Ryan sounds fun, actually...

Ryan becoming the Malledus to Cord? I approve.

11 hours ago, FlyingKitsune said:

It's a shame I've only played through Fire Emblem super casually, I've no clue how things work at times.

It's fine. You just remember the basic precepts of the FE bible: "Blue good, red bad, the RNG is always to blame, praise Kaga."

Also hey I just noticed your favorite FE is listed as NMotE too. We really do pop out of the woodwork when it counts, don't we.

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5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ryan becoming the Malledus to Cord? I approve.

It's fine. You just remember the basic precepts of the FE bible: "Blue good, red bad, the RNG is always to blame, praise Kaga."

Also hey I just noticed your favorite FE is listed as NMotE too. We really do pop out of the woodwork when it counts, don't we.

Yo Ruben. I recently began an FE12 ironman, bestow upon me based advice.

11 hours ago, FlyingKitsune said:

It's a shame I've only played through Fire Emblem super casually, I've no clue how things work at times.

Absurdist comedy is better when it makes no sense.

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17 hours ago, eclipse said:

Ryan should've been drafted, but I was too late. . .what do you mean, do I have a thing for green-haired archers?  OF COURSE NOT!  Ahem. . .

Do I assume you took down Naesala with Rolf in chapter 19 of PoR?

I don't even know what the general take on Ryan is, but he unironically saved me in my Reverse Lunatic run, so there's no way I'm gonna smack talk this boy.

Tomas was pretty cool though, so I guess I'm a part of a Tomas cult club, according to Ruben at least

16 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Excitement indeed. The adventures of Cordmitri and Speedwryngs must continue

Man, I can't wait to get Wrys in chapter 3x. I want to see this map cap speed.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ryan becoming the Malledus to Cord? I approve.

I assume it would be the Jagen to Cord in here? Pretty sure Malledus is for FE11.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's fine. You just remember the basic precepts of the FE bible: "Blue good, red bad, the RNG is always to blame, praise Kaga."

But Kaga didn't make Haitaka tho

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Siegfried's good. His writing was a bit too on-the-nose at times, he's made out to be more unlikeable than I think was intended. But ultimately, I like what Blazer was going for with him. His involvement in the final chapter came a bit out of nowhere, but it made for some cool drama

I always thought he was meant to be somewhat unlikeable, so that all characters were flawed. Siegfried could've just been the blatantly good character who is the perfect leader. I think his problems show how affected he was by what happened in the past, and his unhealthy hatred for Magnus prevents him from being completely rational at times. He's also occasionally overconfident, but to be fair, he is a pretty solid unit, so I suppose he has that right. I actually like Siegfried's writing overall, at least when you consider that this was an early romhack made by a teen. Can't expect Jugdral tier stuff here. Also, I'm pretty most most writing in TLP is too on the nose.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Helps that I really enjoy TLP's gameplay, even all these years later. It's not perfect, but it has an almost Kaga-like creativity to it that I really appreciate

It's more fun than Blazing Sword for sure

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This does not sound like something Wrys would say.

Is Gharnef impersonating our favorite bald man?

I'm guessing you know of his berserker Cipher card? There's clearly more to this man than any of us know.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

On second thought, I think this was made even funnier by the fact that I lack the previous LP's context and I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that Cord is a hardcore tax evader.

Yeah, just try imagining your own world of what's even going on. It's honestly funnier than actually placing context. The only thing you really need to know was that Matthis was my best unit, along with the Darros in my sig.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But he does have a distinctive laugh. That gives him more personality than half the bosses in Shadow Dragon! Also many bosses in Three Houses don't have names or faces either, and Three Houses is the best game in the series, so what's your point?

Uh ohhh

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, one can certainly tell that you're Cord's biggest fan.

Yes

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey. You wouldn't dare to put Frost through this, right? Let's be friends, now. You wouldn't want me to have to take... drastic measures, now would you?

So you're saying you'd be upset if he pulled a Canas? Good to know...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I realized you completely glossed over Merric's existence. Everyone else got some sort of acknowledgement, even if only a joke like Cecille, but I guess we're just pretending Merric doesn't exist.

Who?

2 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Absurdist comedy is better when it makes no sense.

Indeed.

2 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Yo Ruben. I recently began an FE12 ironman, bestow upon me based advice.

He's almost definitely gonna make you use Yubello. I already suggested Cord and Bord. I guess the last advice would be to reject Malicia, embrace Frost. Wendall works too. He's got a cool hat. 

P8:

Spoiler

Wrys: "You know, back in my youth, I remember feeling in doubt of myself quite often. It was over very trivial matters at first. Bullied for being a bald child. I was often referred to as a cancer patient, but you know how children can be with their insensitivities. Of course, even adults can remain that way. Cord, I believe you and Bord struggled overcoming this through your teen years, given your lack of parents. Both of you struggled to share your feelings, your thoughts, your care for one another, but neither of you were stupid. Otherwise, you would not have survived this long. Know that he absolutely knew of how you truly felt of him, even if he failed to express that. 

Cord: "...What of my kingdom? It's bad enough that I, a retainer, failed to save my old king, but now I lay here, unable to let go of the past, letting others die every day."

Wrys: "Anyone can atone for their past, if they swear to change from that day forward and strive to keep that oath, even if they falter here and there. No one is perfect, some much more flawed than others, but everyone deserve a chance of redemption.

Cord: "That's not true..many will break that trust. Some might make too many mistakes. They wouldn't be worth the idea of a second chance, not when others are at risk."

Wrys: "That is true, to an extent. However, should that mean all should be expected to lead without fail, or else be exiled? I believe not. In your case, many have been worse rulers. Even now, your retainer is struggling to maintain order"

Cord: "He's much better than I'd ever be. Assassins have been sent to kill me left and right. None of that happened to him. The kingdom is safer without me. I've made too many enemies. I'm a danger to everyone!"

Wrys: "It's clear that you fear being ruled over revenge. Most of your reasonings so far have been that you don't think you could lead, but we both know it would be better than what is currently occurring in Cord Castle. Would you want it renamed "Marth Museum"? Somehow I doubt that"

Cord: "Wow...that name sounds like ass"

Wrys: "Indeed. I understand if you don't wish to discuss who harmed you, but it would help to let out your feelings, explain why you've done what you did"

Cord: ".....It was my wife......she...betrayed me"

Wrys: "...I see. You held a hidden marriage underneath the noses of your people. I imagine that must've taken a toll on you, to lie to those who serve you. However, it is completely understandable. You won't hear me mention of this to anyone. I swear it by the Gods".

Cord: "We were so happy. For about a year, everything between us was perfect. I didn't want her involve in any politics. She had no kingdom of her own or any history. The other nobles never would've accepted it. Besides, anyone could take my spouse and kidnap them. But all I did was set up the perfect trap for myself...One day...I came into our bedroom, and...I saw Darros...he was murdered...hanging...eviscerated!! 

Wrys says nothing, but places his hand on Cord's back, with his staff on his other hand "healing" Cord, providing a feeling calming enough to prevent him from going on a rampage. 

Cord: "...There was a note inside his pocket. It was from her. She admitted to being the reason this happened...she never cared about me..."

Wrys: "I see. You wish to avenge Darros, and seek revenge for the pain she's caused you. But, has it occurred to you that she could could be a part of an organization that want you to do exactly that? Perhaps you're falling right into their hands by chasing her endlessly."

Cord: "I..no..it doesn't matter! I-I have to find her, or them, whoever is responsible! If I don't, they'll surely destroy everything I've worked so hard to gain!"

Wrys: "Cord...you do not have to do it alone. You were fueled with rage, you went out on your own to seek revenge, but now, you can change. If she or they attempt to strike, let them come. You will be ready, with your army by your side. I know that they will understand."

Cord: "...You're right. I...I can no longer abandon everyone. I-I know now what I must do. Both you...and Cain showed me that. I thank you."

Wrys: "Think nothing of it. Although, I would be happy if you'd be willing to let me shave your head."

Cord: "Nope. I'm outta here!"

And just like that, Cord finally returns back to Cord Castle. It took roughly a week for the kingdom to become fully aware of his safe return, but the citizens were relieved to finally be done with the cringe that was Marth Mondays. The higher ups did change the story of why Cord left though, stating that he spent the past year searching for the royal cat that went missing. There is no royal cat. Everyone believed it though, so now Cord's seen as the kindest pet owner in history, although is now permanently solidified as the craziest cat lady who not actually a lady. It wasn't long however, until there was an attack. Specifically, the 2nd assassination attempt to ever occur in Altea's history.

Spoiler

With Cord finally coming back as a king, the chase for the girl was over. This caused a change in plans for a certain organization, so they moved onto plan B. 

Roro: "Just f***ing kill them"

Katarina: "You're telling me that I spent over a year leaving traces of evidence to have Cord go on an endless goose chase, and THATS your plan B!?!?"

Roro: "Welcome to Fire Emblem"

Little did she know, Roro was actually smarter than that. A little bit. When Cord first saw in (back in P5), he left a very tiny device nearby that listened to Cord's entire conversation with Wrys. He knew the old plan was a bust, so he immediately worked on having the fake guards set up an assault within the castle for when he least expected it. They were first placed there as Katarina betrayed Cord all that time back. They simply spent all this time playing games and laughing at Marth's expense. Now, we got yet another prologue chapter to beat.

 pxoD7md.png?1

hDEVs5U.png?1

Marth: "Milord, I understand your desire to crush the traitors among your soldiers and you've been through so much, but-"

mXOjBpM.png?1

The ol Cord was finally back. Granted, he sounds a lot more noble, has a scar, and is 70% mentally insane, but he's got his headband back!

t9ykcDc.png?1

There's not much here to say gameplay wise. You wait out reinforcements, pull out the side enemies, then run down and win. It's not a great map imo. It's a lot of standing around. I don't want to take the same screenshot 7 times. On a side note, you can see Ogma here. I was gonna BS some reason for him to live, but it turns out he didn't get used at all here, so just pretend he died.

Jv6JA3D.png?1

Ryan was actually tanky enough to survive a brigand and a hunter. Go Ryan. This will be your last chapter, so make Gordin proud. 

vR1z4PZ.png?1

Ok what? What is with this boy? Is this normal? Man's trying to become a Bow General out here. 

W6xIeoI.png?1

Well that sucks. Ah well. Luck can be helpful, considering late game enemies actually start getting high crit. This isn't coping I swear.

A lot of this chapter was me feeding kills to Marth. Cord's already pretty strong, so Marth needs some buffing.

ARfNovi.png?1

YO7A1eC.png?1

CDyMJql.png?1

3 speed in a row. Now he can double chapter 1 brigands. That'll be handy. I remember my FE11 Marth mainly being tanky. Dude solo'd chapter 4 like a champ. Good times.

InhZRzz.png?1

ZpnYYUF.png?1

No speed, but +4 HP and max strength. This man really is Dimitri 2. Crest of Cord: Makes you 50% more based.

With most of the enemies quickly dealt with, Cord makes his way down the hall of his throne room, only to find his ex-wife, Katarina herself. 

Katarina: .......

Cord: "Katarina...I finally found you"

Katarina: "Things never had to come to this Cord. Why couldn't you have simply fled, or faked your death?"

Cord: "Shut the hell up. I'll chop every limb off your body!"

Katarina: "After everything we've been through, you'd throw that away? You don't even know why I did it. I pray that someone puts you out of your misery. Goodbye."

She teleports away, knowing that only an idiot would actually fight this guy. She hates Roro and Kleine.

Cord: "NO! GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!"

Luckily, Wrys was there to calm him down. He bashed his head with a hammer, knocking him unconscious. For whatever reason, Cord couldn't pull through with killing him for his insolence. Luckily, his whole army was there to console him then and there, and his head hurt too much to really focus on revenge.  

He was told that he was obligated to give a speech to his people right now, encouraging them to not lose hope now, even if things seem kinda spooky. 

I don't feel like writing a speech. Something something taxes bad strength and friendship good

Cord took Wrys's previous advice. The enemy would naturally come to them. One of the members seem rather impatient, so they could hope for more slip ups, where they can wipe out their leaders one at a time. In the meantime, Cord had to fix the damage caused within the past year. 

Merric: "I apologize Cord, but I must head off to Khadein. I am needed there."

Cord: "...Who the hell is this guy?"

Merric: "...are you kidding me? I helped fight with you! Since the fight at the abandoned village! I followed you all the way here! I even gave Ryan a piggy back ride once when he was crying!"

Cord: "You guys know him?"

Wrys: "Not at alll"

Cecile: "Never heard of him"

Ryan: "I don't remember any of that"

Merric: "...I hate you all"

Wrys and Athena headed off to a journey to seek out more unfortunate refugees to aide. Ryan went back to Gordin to brag about how much stronger he had gotten. Gordin proceeded to laugh for 47 minutes straight, dying from lack of oxygen. Almost entirely out of pity, Cord appointed Ryan as a tactician. He seemed to know about how to craft weapons to be stronger. Originally, Cord just left that to Bord, who'd bash the weapon with his trusty hammer until it became stronger, but that wasn't possible now. Ryan also suggested hiring a new retainer who would replace Darros and Bord. He suggested a man named Arran, who he knew from an unspecified event. Although hesitant at first, Cord took his word, and hired him. He seemed capable enough, given the sturdy armor and cool hair. With that, Cord, Marth, and this Arran fellow began their first order of action, restoring Cord Castle to its former glory.

Yay, the prologue's finally over. Now the real run actually starts. I hope I never have to make stupid long exposition ever again on this LP. I just want to use Matthis already. Ok, I kinda enjoyed writing that totally original plot. Made the prologue more interesting, even if ridiculous and kinda edgy. Time for some real gameplay. Next time.

Spoiler

JMQ26PH.png?1

Starting out the game with a green stat. Cool.

 

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5 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's more fun than Blazing Sword for sure

Is this Blazing Sword hatred I hear? I'm so proud of you.

17 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

...I saw Darros...

No! This revelation has shattered my poor and frail heart, Darros has become unsail. I am now fully invested in this anti-taxation revenge plot, for I feel the wrath which Cord feels.

17 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wrys: "Think nothing of it. Although, I would be happy if you'd be willing to let me shave your head."

Classic Wrys.

18 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Marth Mondays

I don't know, I kinda like it. A whole Monday without pants.

18 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

There is no royal cat.

Too bad it's not a Tellius game. Ministry of Truth is concerned with lies.

20 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

"Just f***ing kill them"

That's the reason he gets and entire legion's wages for himself. He got the big brain plays.

24 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Katarina: "After everything we've been through, you'd throw that away? You don't even know why I did it. I pray that someone puts you out of your misery. Goodbye."

Cord: "NO! GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!"

Good job Cord, you resist the wiles of the thot.

I'm interested to see how how the whole Lang arc will be horribly mutilated. It's a kind of cool story beat in the original game, whereas here it's where we're going to introduce the zombies (and quite quickly at that), not to mention Chad Warden Warren.

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9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

But Kaga didn't make Haitaka tho

Balderdash and piffle! Foiled again...!

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I always thought he was meant to be somewhat unlikeable, so that all characters were flawed. Siegfried could've just been the blatantly good character who is the perfect leader. I think his problems show how affected he was by what happened in the past, and his unhealthy hatred for Magnus prevents him from being completely rational at times. He's also occasionally overconfident, but to be fair, he is a pretty solid unit, so I suppose he has that right. I actually like Siegfried's writing overall, at least when you consider that this was an early romhack made by a teen. Can't expect Jugdral tier stuff here. Also, I'm pretty most most writing in TLP is too on the nose.

Yes, I agree with all of this. The thing with Siegfried is, he's a bit too much of a dick at times. He's supposed to come across as the typical perfect hero who is flawed underneath, and only those close to him realize. But sometimes his dickiness is a bit too blatant. Still, not too big of a problem. I like Sieg's writing nonetheless.

Actually, I like all the lords except Shon. Shon got shafted hard, but the rest are all pretty fine in terms of writing. Yeah, even Kelik, I did just say that. I mean it when I say he's an edgelord with charater development. Even if he's still trying to act angsty, you can tell he's relaxed a lot by the end. Anakin's riveting word plays eventually broke through to him.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'm guessing you know of his berserker Cipher card? There's clearly more to this man than any of us know.

Hm. Good point.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The only thing you really need to know was that Matthis was my best unit, along with the Darros in my sig.

Ah yeah, I did know that. It was brought to my attention by someone else. I was the one who made you use Matthis, I believe, even if I didn't end up following the LP.

I am proud of my boy. See, all it takes is to believe in him. Now let's do it again.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

So you're saying you'd be upset if he pulled a Canas? Good to know...

Don't you dare, Jones. Don't you dare. You may already be a skeleton, but I can break your bones still.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wrys says nothing, but places his hand on Cord's back, with his staff on his other hand "healing" Cord, providing a feeling calming enough to prevent him from going on a rampage. 

That sounds vagely... uh, you know what, I'm not even going to say it.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wrys: "Think nothing of it. Although, I would be happy if you'd be willing to let me shave your head."

Cord: "Nope. I'm outta here!"

Coward. Shave Cord's head! Do it!

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It took roughly a week for the kingdom to become fully aware of his safe return, but the citizens were relieved to finally be done with the cringe that was Marth Mondays. The higher ups did change the story of why Cord left though, stating that he spent the past year searching for the royal cat that went missing. There is no royal cat. Everyone believed it though, so now Cord's seen as the kindest pet owner in history, although is now permanently solidified as the craziest cat lady who not actually a lady.

Hwahahahahahaha

Every line in this paragraph is golden.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

mXOjBpM.png?1

The ol Cord was finally back. Granted, he sounds a lot more noble, has a scar, and is 70% mentally insane, but he's got his headband back!

I completely forgot Cord had a headband to begin with.

Oof.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

vR1z4PZ.png?1

Ok what? What is with this boy? Is this normal? Man's trying to become a Bow General out here. 

In my experience? Yes. It's normal.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

W6xIeoI.png?1

Well that sucks. Ah well. Luck can be helpful, considering late game enemies actually start getting high crit. This isn't coping I swear.

Everyone gets a dud level sometimes. You're still very glad you took Wrys with you.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

ZpnYYUF.png?1

No speed, but +4 HP and max strength. This man really is Dimitri 2. Crest of Cord: Makes you 50% more based.

Hanneman pops out from under a floor tile going "Crest of Cord, you say?"

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Luckily, Wrys was there to calm him down. He bashed his head with a hammer, knocking him unconscious.

Yep, it's official. I do not regret respecting your wishes and giving you Wrys instead of using the last minute chance for Yubello.

I mean, it's going to suck to see Yubello go unused, but... This is so good.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Merric: "I apologize Cord, but I must head off to Khadein. I am needed there."

Cord: "...Who the hell is this guy?"

Merric: "...are you kidding me? I helped fight with you! Since the fight at the abandoned village! I followed you all the way here! I even gave Ryan a piggy back ride once when he was crying!"

Cord: "You guys know him?"

Wrys: "Not at alll"

Cecile: "Never heard of him"

Ryan: "I don't remember any of that"

Merric: "...I hate you all"

Elrean: "Don't care what any of them say, Merric. You're too good for them. Come back to Khadein, to my side. I miss you so much."

Merric: "What? Elrean, is that you? Where did you come from?"

Elrean: "I-I mean, s-serves you right! Hmph... Of course a fool like you would be forsaken by those he thought were his friends. This is what having friends gets you! Who needs friends? I don't need friends! I-It's not like I care about you or anything, y-you idiot...!"

Merric: "...Okay then..."

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yay, the prologue's finally over. Now the real run actually starts. I hope I never have to make stupid long exposition ever again on this LP. I just want to use Matthis already. Ok, I kinda enjoyed writing that totally original plot. Made the prologue more interesting, even if ridiculous and kinda edgy.

I get you. I too enjoy writing edgy plots for my LPs.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

JMQ26PH.png?1

Starting out the game with a green stat. Cool.

In my latest run Ryan had green defense.

Imagine that.

 

19 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Yo Ruben. I recently began an FE12 ironman, bestow upon me based advice.

Sorry forgot.

Ahem.

Use Matthis, Frost, Tomas, Sheema, Belf and/or Leiden and/or Roberto, Malice (not to be confused with Malicia, that one needs to die a bloody death), Dice, Yubello and Yumina, Elrean, Etzel, Minerva's cool too, Abel has a cool line so him too, Frey, Norne is funny, Warren, oh Cord too for the sake of our resident skeleton, Arran the entire game...

...Ehhhh take your pick of this list. I intended to say "okay now seriously", but then I realized even when being serious I still want to make you use all of these people, so...

Ahh, if you absolutely have to pick one, make it Tomas and Frost. Yes, I am aware that's two people. You probably haven't used them before. Make this the run.

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On 12/13/2021 at 6:55 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I don't know, I kinda like it. A whole Monday without pants.

Not everyone shares your enthusiasm, unfortunately.

On 12/13/2021 at 6:55 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

That's the reason he gets and entire legion's wages for himself. He got the big brain plays.

Katarina be using turtle strats while the Legion of Roros use the Chad "throw all your units at the enemy and assume you'll win" strat.

On 12/13/2021 at 6:55 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I'm interested to see how how the whole Lang arc will be horribly mutilated. It's a kind of cool story beat in the original game, whereas here it's where we're going to introduce the zombies (and quite quickly at that), not to mention Chad Warden Warren

I'm unsure what to do with Warren. Dude's supports is basically him saying he's an introvert. The only interesting thing that really comes out of him character wise is him knowing Catria, but they don't really explain that. I can only assume it's a BSFE thing, but I wish there was more to it.

As for Lang, he won't be quite as relevant, but he'll be present. We're no longer in the prologue, so this is the part where I start butchering the story for the worse entirely. 

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahh, if you absolutely have to pick one, make it Tomas and Frost. Yes, I am aware that's two people. You probably haven't used them before. Make this the run.

Wow, you have a whole army's worth of suggestions. But yeah, he might just want to stick to Tomas and Frost. I already asked for Cord and Bord, in which he might use Barst as well for silly triangle attack memes. It is an ironman though, so should they die, he can go with the plethora of alternative units you like. I wonder who'll you beat big boy Hardin with.

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Coward. Shave Cord's head! Do it!

Oi, that option ain't even available yet! I'll probably do it, but grow it back afterwards. His hair is iconic. Well, to me at least.

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, I agree with all of this. The thing with Siegfried is, he's a bit too much of a dick at times. He's supposed to come across as the typical perfect hero who is flawed underneath, and only those close to him realize. But sometimes his dickiness is a bit too blatant.

If I had growths like his, I'd be a massive dickhead too. Ahh I'm just joking, I hope. In my TLP run, I actually got his stats high enough to actually fight Cid in 5x. That was a crazy thing to experience. I did end up rigging hits in the end, since he's way too dodgy, and I actually landed the final blow with Shon. Twas a great day for Shaky Jones' FE accomplishments. Yeah, he could've been done better, but I never minded mean people. If only they used that part of Siegfried to help Shon develop a greater character, but I digress.

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I completely forgot Cord had a headband to begin with.

Oof.

I am alone in this path of Cord posting. I need more people in the Cord Fan Club. How could anyone forget his bandana. It's like forgetting Tomas's silly hair or his recruitment in chapter 17. It just doesn't happen!

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yep, it's official. I do not regret respecting your wishes and giving you Wrys instead of using the last minute chance for Yubello.

I mean, it's going to suck to see Yubello go unused, but... This is so good.

Ok, so hear me out. I'm considering dropping Frey for a Yubello pick for you. At first, I refused the idea of dropping basically any picks, since it seems unfair to the person who drafted them. BUT, I think I can make up for Frey, if I ACTUALLY use Bantu. @Imuabicus was basically just saying they wanted them alone, but switched to Frey and Norne when I first said Bantu was banned for being too bad of a unit to be usable. Since Norne is already deployed, and Frey was used in my ironman, I think it'd be a lot cooler to both use that silly ol Yubello you wanted, and actually trying to make Bantu work. I do still have those lunatic stat boosters and rainbow potions on standby. Also, I think my team isn't handicapped enough. Sure, it's not great, but I've done maniac enough times to handle just about anything, or so I like to believe. Berserker AU is OP and I have Catria as well. Moreover, half of my army is just in their base class, which doesn't feel quite as special as my FE11 PMU. Mark my words, if I get Bantu to be signature worthy, I will demand that I become certified as Dr. Based Jones don't actually call me that I swear. I'm not sure if he's actually reading this LP, but I think plan on changing up the roster to that by the time I reach chapter 4, unless he wishes against it. 

If this is alright with everyone, do you want Warrior Yubello, Berserker, or something else? I just realized this would technically be your 4th pick, but you're Señor Misterio Nuevo. I doubt anyone will object. More units really just makes things harder, aka more fun.

Chapter 1: Ludicrous Lang

A rebellion seemed to have occurred within Cord Castle. It wasn't too large, so Cord simply went with Marth and Arran, hoping that they could quell their anger with words. When they arrived however, they seem rather riled up. Everyone here was determined to see Cord fall from power. While he knew this would happen within towns of his kingdom, it was rather odd seeing how determined they felt, and word was spreading around about this movement, even though everyone seemed pleased just a few days prior. Was it the assassination attempt that placed doubt? He couldn't ponder on this now. The only way out of this one was violence, because this is Fire Emblem.

Spoiler

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Nothing like starting a game with 3 units. Well, both Marth and Cord can 1RKO the brigands, so this chapter really wasn't too bad.

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One turn 1 and Cord and his boys already wiped out most of the brigands. Technically, Marth could've died if all three brigands in range hit him, but Cord has 1 less defense, so he's prioritized. AI exploitation does wonders.

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Weapon triangle means nothing to me. Marth needs to go to the village anyways. I'm sure it's full of unspoken treasures.

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Crap...

Ever since the Est incident, Marth has sworn to never seek a relationship ever again. When the old lady offered a cleric to aide them in return for Marth to go out with said lady, Marth simply wanted to disembowel himself, tired of the life he is forced to live. He walked away without saying a word.

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Cord bought a hand axe so he could take on most 2 range units while Arran tanked like the champ he is. It took 2 turns, but the left side was routed pretty easily. I definitely could've saved turns with less vulnerary uses and not waiting before having Arran block, but this isn't really a turn count focused run.

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I'm telling you, these growths come from the fact that I named him Cord. Use Cord yourself, and he'll deliver. 

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And here we see the leader of this particular uprising. Cord attempted interrogating them to find out if there was more to this revolt than meets the eye, but Marth quickly had to end the TedTalk when he heard beeping within his armor. Marth threw Cord behind Arran and hid with him. Lorenz explodes in a matter of seconds, and nothing is left.

They went inside the castle he was guarding, and to their surprise, they find two children.

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Naturally, they feared the bloodied scarred man with an axe who is considered to be insane. They saw them as criminals. No one was quite sure what to do with them, but Cord didn't just want to leave them here, so he tried offering them a home in the capital of Cord Castle, but they refused to leave. Before Cord could even attempt convincing them to forgive him for his past failings, they hear distant music. They go back outside, and see a General approach them. 

Lang: "Well well well, so this is the mighty King Cord. I'm not impressed"

Cord: "And who the hell do you think you are?"

Lang: They call me Big Lang. To my people, I am a hero. To you, I'm the tiger who eats down boars like you!"

Cord: "A tiger huh? All I see is a rotting old man hoping to make a legacy before his time is up. Beat it chump. You wouldn't want to see the 9 ways I could end each of your lives"

Big Lang: "Is that right? Kid, you're no leader. You're a beatdown punk chasing your old King's dreams. You don't know half of what it takes to lead men to victory."

Marth: "I'd like to see you try to destroy an entire organization like the IRS!"

Big Lang: "Ohoho...blue boy. Let Ol Lang tell ya a story. This one's about exchange. Why do you think we paid taxes to begin with?"

Marth: "It's to fund the various needs a kingdom needs to maintain balance and power. Do not assume I am ignorant of what we've done. They've done nothing but harm our economy. They used Altea like cows, milked to fuel the 1%!"

Big Lang: "It's quite a sad tale, innit? But you only read 1 book. Some stories got 2 parts. More sides to the plot. All your actions...they hold consequences, not just your your land, but everywhere in the motherland of Archanea. Let me tell you about the 2nd book. While you swam like doves in a healthy economy through the ROARING success of that crypto of yers, the rest of us in Grust were strapped with rocks, digging through our skin as we try breathing underwater while we sink to the bottom of the damn ocean. And newsflash kiddo, us Grustians ain't got gills."

Cord: "Your people were ***holes! They harmed countless of cities. They-They were cringe!"

Big Lang: "You speak of a handful of runts. No land holds perfection. What of your actions? You just killed some of your own men for rebelling, an action completely within their rights as citizens of your country. You may be right on some accounts, but many of my men, they've done nothing but die for their country, to pay respect for the soil they were born in. And the people who live in these lands we try to protect. We cant fund soldiers with food and gear, so they've been dropping like flies. Gotta say, it hurts this poor old runt's heart."

Cord: "Dammit!" What do you want with me!?"

Big Lang: "Well I'm glad ya asked! It's quite simple. Just hand over two easy payments of 3 Langcoin and commit the classic self die!"

"Bwahahaha! Oh Big Lang, you are a comedy master! As if I'd sell crypto! Hehehe.."

Cord: "You're leading this rebellion, aren't you?"

Big Lang: "If your men can't rely on you to change, it's up to me make that change myself. I am honored to have been the chosen representative by all, to kick your ***."

Cord: "We'll see about that!"

Big Lang: "Oi! Whazza matter boi! You know you can't hit me here!"

Cord: "And why's that?"

Big Lang: "You can't touch me, if there's no UI that lets you kill me to begin with! Bwahahaha!!"

Cord: "What does that even mean!?!?"

Big Lang: "I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for chitchat Cordo, but right now, I came here to aide some lost children. You wouldn't happen to see any, right?"

Cord: "You would know. I bet you trapped them here! How else would you know!?"
Big Lang: "I was messaged...by Lorenz. May the gods in the sky bless this poor solider. Why did you have to go and get yourself killed..."

Cord: "Bah, you told him to do that just to get me killed. That's a cheap shot!"

Big Lang: ".....boy. I may be a stubborn ***hat, but unlike you, I have honor, both for my country, and even my enemies. You will die from the blade of one of my soldiers, or it will be by own hand. Unfortuntely, Lorenz was determined to end the war quickly, to end the bloodshed as fast as possible. I will have to make sure to bring his armor home to his family personally..."

Marth: "....Damn. He's based"

It was at this point that the children came out of the house. They were immediately swayed by the 10 points of charisma Big Lang had, and they asked to follow him. 

Big Lang: "Who am I to say no to children who deserve better than to be victims in all of this? Cord, we will meet again. But don't worry. They also call me Santa, so I left a gift for you. You'll have to go to Macedon to find out what it is. Or don't! You can sit like a baby and wait for their nation to bombard your front door on Christmas day. That'd be a funny way to lose everything you once loved. Gamers! Bwahahhaha!!"

Lang leaves with Yumina and Yubello.

Cord: "Mark my words. I will end you Big Lang"

Turn Count:

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May as well show it. 

Next time...

Spoiler

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(For context, Macedon has been established to be the country of gamers.)

 

Edited by Shaky Jones
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11 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ever since the Est incident, Marth has sworn to never seek a relationship ever again. When the old lady offered a cleric to aide them in return for Marth to go out with said lady, Marth simply wanted to disembowel himself, tired of the life he is forced to live. He walked away without saying a word.

The struggles of being a chad.

11 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Marth: "....Damn. He's based"

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3 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ok, so hear me out. I'm considering dropping Frey for a Yubello pick for you. At first, I refused the idea of dropping basically any picks, since it seems unfair to the person who drafted them. BUT, I think I can make up for Frey, if I ACTUALLY use Bantu. @Imuabicus was basically just saying they wanted them alone, but switched to Frey and Norne when I first said Bantu was banned for being too bad of a unit to be usable.

Oh. erm... Telling you to use Bantu was a sort of joke, a bad one as i see now.

In the spriti of Bantu so to say.

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3 minutes ago, Imuabicus said:

Telling you to use Bantu was a sort of joke, a bad one as i see now.

You might see it as a joke. I see it as a challenge. Come onnn. It'll be funny. Then, if I end up being extremely miserable, I can make you feel terrible about it. We'll invent a day called "why oh why did Imuabicus ask for Bantu?", where I cry at a poster of Bantu for 40 minutes and upload that.

Really, I kinda just want an excuse to use Yubello, and Bantu would make for good content.

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