FE12 Maniac PMU: The Funky Sequel

[Saint Rubenio]

44 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Yeah, Sigune's neat.

She's playable in Sword of Heaven and Earth. Now ain't that awesome. Hey that's the second time I've gushed about that hack since Jones last posted in the thread, I wonder if that means the hack is good.

44 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

But honestly, the real best girl in FE6?

Niime.

I mean, just check out her (addendum: massive honkin' luscious) staff range!

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha

Look, Niime is epic and all, but

Dorothy, man.

3 minutes ago, eclipse said:

Niime can tell people to STFU from across the map. 

A much appreciated skill given the game in which she exists.

3 minutes ago, eclipse said:

Warren doesn't like me.  Believe me, I've tried.

Eh, we all have characters like that. I spent multiple runs trying to make something out of Sophie in Conquest, but she just refused to be good. It happens.

[AnonymousSpeed]

4 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She's playable in Sword of Heaven and Earth. Now ain't that awesome. Hey that's the second time I've gushed about that hack since Jones last posted in the thread, I wonder if that means the hack is good.

Haven't gotten that far in the game, but darn, that...that's gonna be kinda sad. Oh no. Are the other pegs her sisters or something? Oooooooh noooooooo. They are, aren't they?

5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha

Look, Niime is epic and all, but

Dorothy, man.

Nah fam. Niime's got way more experience than Dorothy- around 3500 of it.

[Saint Rubenio]

Just now, AnonymousSpeed said:

Haven't gotten that far in the game, but darn, that...that's gonna be kinda sad. Oh no. Are the other pegs her sisters or something? Oooooooh noooooooo. They are, aren't they?

No need for sadness, Sigune survives in SoHaE. Doesn't get Canas'd in her ending card either. As for the other peggies... Nah, they're unrelated, though I'm pretty sure they belong to her squadron.

Just now, AnonymousSpeed said:

Nah fam. Niime's got way more experience than Dorothy- around 3500 of it.

Yeah, but Dorothy is a female character who isn't hot, a child or old. How many characters in the series can claim to avoid all three of these labels? It's pretty much just Dorothy and Meg, and Meg is so cartoonish, she lacks Dorothy's "oddly normal gal" charm.

[AnonymousSpeed]

5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No need for sadness, Sigune survives in SoHaE. Doesn't get Canas'd in her ending card either. As for the other peggies... Nah, they're unrelated, though I'm pretty sure they belong to her squadron.

Wait what. No, now I feel like the game is doing a copout. What good is a game without torturous tragedy?

5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, but Dorothy is a female character who isn't hot, a child or old. How many characters in the series can claim to avoid all three of these labels? It's pretty much just Dorothy and Meg, and Meg is so cartoonish, she lacks Dorothy's "oddly normal gal" charm.

I mean I wouldn't really consider most of the popular waifus hot to be honest, but I suppose that's a subjective matter. She does take the cake in terms of normalcy though, I am sure Warren Harding would be proud.

[FlyingKitsune]

12 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I don't got a next time. Just pretend there's a really unfunny meme about Sirius here.

You can't be Sirius!

[Shaky Jones]

Replies (this was a lot to take in):

Spoiler

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Make Garon the main character.

Of course. Let him return and gain complete power, so then we can have Fates 3!

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Chapter 8, definitely. It's so well made.

Good choice. That's a really fun chapter. I'd say it's my 2nd favorite, and probably is my favorite in Old Mystery. Hardin actually chases you in that one.

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

dealing with wyvern lords and Matthis's suicidal butt while under ballista fire is not something I'm willing to go through. So, yes. I take the long way.

I dunno. It sounds very Thracia-like, so it's surely what Kaga would've wanted.

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't know if you saw it, but I went through the FE sorter yesterday and posted the results in the Teehee thread. Which means we now have Ruben's official opinion on every single character in the series.

Frost came second, behind Arran, with Matthis taking third. Cord was, uh...

...105th. Well, I mean, he beats over 500 characters. That's pretty all right.

Took a gander. Unsure if I'll analyze every single unit placement, but I'll choose forgive you for Cord, since 105th is within the top 20% percent of units. Any less, THEN we would've had a problem, although I'm a bit saddened that he wasn't in the double digit placements. 

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Luck really is kinda low in this game on average, isn't it. It does get a bit annoying.

It does suck. Most enemies rarely have crit, so many units are fine, but most of the based units all have 1 luck or something like that. The lategame does get kind of annoying like that, since snipers and ice dragons have pretty good crit. Don't even get me started on the thoron boiz.

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The fact that you didn't use this map entirely to train Matthis hurts me. Cord doesn't need levels, you doofus!

Oi! I'm the Cord Connoisseur, not the Matthis Minister! That's your thing. I mean, my Matthis was crazy in FE11, but we all have our own characters we need to focus on (aka our sigs or something I guess (your Frost and Matthis. Jimmy's Bord. My Cord and Darros). I might add in my FE11 Cord and 2 units from this LP to like my version of your sig if you're ok with that. I don't want to be sued for all my Tomas points)

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Now I kinda regret not drafting him as a levin swordmaster. It feels as though it's what he wants to do.

I kinda wanted a meme reclass like that too, since reclassing in DSFE is just stupid fun, which I'm all for, but I really needed a healer. Warren healer coulda been silly, but a PMU is a PMU. Can't change the rules...not more than I already did

Hey, anything's better than another Malicia run, right?

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Jones, how could someone so based say something so horrible? I demand that you heal every paper cut in sight in order to get Wrys to promotion as soon as possible!

I could easily point out things in your favorite character list that would make you un-based, but I shan't. Really, I'll probably start wasting turns once the run gets harder. I kinda want this to be as difficult as your average reverse lunatic run, but the early game is pretty easy when you have such a broken avatar, and I'd like to see myself at least get the AAA rank on this run. Don't know why it's so forgiving, but it makes me happy to see, pretending I'm efficient at FE, when I play like the opposite of that. 

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I fucking hate you.

You'll get yours one of these days. I just hope it's none of my favorites that bite the dust for it.

Hey Catria! Be a dear and volunteer to be the guinea pig?

Spoiler

Honestly, I am probably dropping Catria once I get the units that make me exceed the 12 slot limit. Sorry to the Catria fans, but once she uses up her early game usage (and lore I guess), I'd like to make room for the real heroes. Luckily, she's getting bad level ups, so I can be justified! Don't worry, I'll at least get her to a promotion tier, so I can screenshot everyone's endgame stats to look like something.

On 12/21/2021 at 10:18 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also how could you call me out on the unpopular opinion thread, you do know that if I state my opinions about Garon there I will find two different mobs at my doorstep, right?

Carry your Garon praise with pride soldier!

On 12/21/2021 at 10:31 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You know what? You're completely true. Screw Brunnya. Sigune best girl.

 

On 12/21/2021 at 10:34 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I am oddly and immediately enamored with this description and embrace it gratefully with my whole heart. Thank you, you too are completely true.

Support rank increased!

On 12/21/2021 at 10:34 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

But honestly, the real best girl in FE6?

Niime.

I mean, just check out her (addendum: massive honkin' luscious) staff range!

Aye, Niime is truly something else.

On 12/21/2021 at 11:17 AM, eclipse said:

Warren doesn't like me.  Believe me, I've tried.

Damn. He must've worn the wrong headband that run.

On 12/21/2021 at 11:50 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, but Dorothy is a female character who isn't hot, a child or old. How many characters in the series can claim to avoid all three of these labels? It's pretty much just Dorothy and Meg, and Meg is so cartoonish, she lacks Dorothy's "oddly normal gal" charm.

Oi! Don't be disrespecting Meg. I'd say she's mostly "oddly normal", and is the best unit in part 1 hands down. One time she outright beat Nolan in every stat by the end of part 1. This was a hard mode run on a Wii (aka no savestate abuse allowed), and even in every other run, she is just hilarious to train. But I respect the Dorothy appreciation, even if I haven't used her yet. That being said, I might have to give this one to the mysterious speed man. Old people rule, and so does staff range. Dorothy is neat, but you have Wolt. Niime? Nothing can replace her base A staff range as a dark tome user who can actually use dark tomes effectively unlike a certain one. 

Oh yeah, I don't know Brunyaa at all, so that was confusing to see. She's that one sage in fe6? Wasn't memorable to me, so I guess I don't see much in their character to begin with, unless I'm thinking of someone else entirely.

On 12/21/2021 at 11:50 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

No need for sadness, Sigune survives in SoHaE. Doesn't get Canas'd in her ending card either. As for the other peggies... Nah, they're unrelated, though I'm pretty sure they belong to her squadron.

There's a million quotes about this hack or something, so I'll just say it here.

You frighten me sometimes Ruben.

This is all souding like a foreign language to me. Is this a Gheb FE tier thing, an actual game? Is everyone just random bosses from other games or OC's? I don't get it!

On 12/21/2021 at 12:00 PM, FlyingKitsune said:

You can't be Sirius!

On 12/21/2021 at 4:13 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Why so Sirius?

I hate all of you

Chapter 4: Enough With The Puns Already

Spoiler

Still heading back from Macedon, Cord unfortunately has to go through ANOTHER obstacle. Now that the mighty Matthis is within their ranks, people in the country have been alerted of Cord's presence. Hoping to take him out while his numbers are still small, they send in the squad every gamer dreads.

They landed right at the heart of the Macecringian Vikings' base. They love to troll, especially when they raid a voice chat and yodel endlessly. And now, Ogma's about to get trolled. He doesn't want the innocent children to get tainted by the cruel profanities that is internet culture, so he swears it to himself to protect them at all costs, but let's be real. He's screwed.

Luckily he spots a paladin with a portrait, meaning he must be important, so he talks to him to hopefully gain a temporary ally.

Ogma: "Hey you! You're not with these guys, right?"

Sirius: "What guys?"

Ogma: "Oh I don't know...the 5 brigands and 2 hunters right beside you!?"

Sirius: "Oh...I didn't see them."

Ogma: "You di -aw who cares? Help a merc out. I'll give ya half of my pay."

Sirius: "I am not interested in money."

Ogma: "Wow, you suck. I mean, don't you want to help these kids. Surely you wouldn't let them go through the Macedonian Vikings?"

Sirius: "I'm in Macedon?"

Ogma: "...can you even see through your mask!?"

Sirius: "No"

Ogma: "You can't be serious!"

Sirius: "How did you know my name? That shouldn't be possible!"

Ogma: Oh, that's actually your name? You can't be Sirius!"

Sirius: "...that one was on purpose, wasn't it?"

Ogma: "Of course not, I was being Sirius!"

Sirius: "ENOUGH!"

Ogma: "Help me out and I'll pretend I never knew you or your name."

Sirius: "Fine. But know this..."

Spoiler

You suck

Nothing triggers the Macedonians quite like the ping.

It's nice to get out of an ironman so I can finally do much more aggressive strats. 

Since this is turn 1, I figured this would be the best opportunity to try giving Bord a kill, since he's close to a level anyways.

I can't believe I'm actually grateful for a luck level up. Of course, strength is appreciated.

What. Damn you Ruben! Stop being correct! I didn't even need to reset for levels, which I was sort of planning on doing. I wasn't even going for full level ups, but apparently Matthis was.

Catria weakens the last brigand, and gets a mediocre level up. This is clearly a sign that she is meant to be dropped for the true stars of the show. I mean, I need all units to do their parts, but I have more than is usually the deployment limit, so dropping is inevitable. FE12 is just being nice and choosing the correct unit to screw over.

On the next turn, I try giving Bord another kill, but he misses. Fire Emblem sucks.

Marth visits Wendall's house nearby. Another healer would be nice.

Marth used to be religious you know.

So as it turns out, Sirius cannot fight these guys off at all. He charged at them, but ran left because he can't see where they are. Disgusted by the lack of skills in anyone here, Yumina teleports Cord to her location. He has a heart attack from the technology of kids these days and their staves that do everything for them, so Yumina uses the staff of calming to soothe it. Just kidding, that's stupid. Why would that be a thing? She injected him with herapin. Cord is surprised that these kids now want his help after calling him cringe earlier. They still think he's cringe, but Big Lang entrusted their care to Ogma, who took them to Macedon because they wouldn't stop asking for Cyberpunk 1077.

The next few turns consist of Cord basically routing the enemy. This section was intended by the devs to be a reference to how Cord can easily solo FE11 if you just gave him a chance.

 

Sirius swings blindly and actually manages to slap someone with his lance. Yubello uses this opportunity to strike them down. Congrats Yubello. You are officially a war criminal, a murderer. Also, that wasn't actually a thief. They just wear those robes where they're from. Silly kid!

Cord's burning hatred for the filthy rats that are thieves compels him to stop guarding the bridge and just charge at the enemy. Don't worry, this one is actually a thief.

Ok, this is just stupid. I've had good AU's, but this one is going too far. Why can't my Conquest Arthur get these growths?

Don't you dare bring up Haitaka again

Because Matthis wasn't getting much action, and I know how badly Ruben awaits his level ups, I left one fort unplugged for xp. They had a crit chance, but I used a circle save, so I can afford a crit or 2 without going crazy.

At the same time (turn 6), Yubello gets another kill, this time with a crowd watching. Cord tells him to never show hesitation to the enemy, but Yubello can barely keep themselves from crying like a b-

After setting the pirate on fire, Yubello sees and hears them scream for a full minute as their flesh disintegrates, and their eyeballs melt away. Even Cord was disturbed. Cain's magic was usually less brutal. Yubello stood there and said nothing, basically scarred for life. Cord decides it's best that he doesn't use magic anymore. After all, that could lead to the next Cain incident with the whole starlight shenanigan, or your typical traumatized child who will end up being a protagonist against their will. 

Damn.

On turn 8, I am grateful that I probably never need to do reverse lunatic again.

Not much to say, just the squad together bullying trolls. (still turn 😎

With the loser Vikings out of the way, Cord's squad can finally approach the boss, Guile, descendant of Gheb the Messiah. He's only recently started his adventure, so he must be defeated before he gets too strong. Oh yeah, I got a crit with Warren. That's why his HP is low.

Warren has this great duel with the boss that last 7 turns. No this isn't boss abusing, Marth won't reach the throne anytime soon, so no turns are really wasted. No way in heck I'm wasting another rescue JUST to save a few turns with Marth.

Speaking of Marth taking years to walk around, here's him entering yet another house away from the seize point.

........

........

I'm uncomfortable

Eyy! My boi pulls through! That luck level last time was a message. I was about to get lucky.

That's a lie. It's rng. There are no messages in FE. Nothing just coldly statistics to abuse for your own undesirable goals.

But Wrys good!

Ok. This was risky. But come on. I had to try the Matthis kill. He had all this time to run to the guy, and the idea of getting Matthis killed would surely scare Ruben, which can only make my day. But he lives. Oh well, maybe next time.

For f- Why is he good!? Is it really just the reward of using underappreciated units in DSFE? How am I gonna tell people that the axe bros who aren't actually bros are the superior units to use? I'm fine though. I'm glad he's doing great. It fits the canon of his FE11 might. Perhaps I'll join the official Matthis fan club, but I'll always be loyal to Cord and Darros, and Warren too. He's cool. Headband and bows. I like his hair. 

I'm pretty sure I coulda saved a turn or 2, but I think this is decent. A lot of walking. That's the real issue with chapter 4. That's the "sorrow" of the chapter name.

Sorry about the super late post with no warning. It was approaching Christmas, I got distracted, this post started becoming confusing to memorize what I'm even talking about. I might start updating this less often, especially with the new stuff I'm gonna be busy with, but there's no way I'm letting this go. Sirius had to fight once to stop the thief from breaking the village, but that's all he did. I figured that single hit with rescue-ing Cord was the best way to minimize using units outside of the draft. Yubello is now part of the PMU as it was given the okay to drop Frey for them by Imuabicus and was heavily requested by our good friend Rubem. Also, Merry Christmas.

Once the Vikings retreated, Cord had Wrys act as Yubello's therapist. Now that's at least 3 people who need it. 4 if you think Matthis's unstable strength is a bad thing.

Cord: "Wait...aren't you working for Lang?"

Ogma: "Yeah, what's the pro -ohhhh."

Cord: "Yep. G'bye!"

Ogma: "Hey, let's talk abo-"

RIP

Ogma (1990-2010)

"I am the most unnecessary death. Screw you"

Next time:

Spoiler

3 Houses in New Mystery!?!?!?

I actually hate myself

 

Edited December 25, 2021 by Shaky Jones

[AnonymousSpeed]

4 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Support rank increased!

Aw sweet, bonuses.

5 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is all souding like a foreign language to me. Is this a Gheb FE tier thing, an actual game? Is everyone just random bosses from other games or OC's? I don't get it!

It's a Japanese FE7 romhack- quite an old one, from back in the days when FE7 was the standard for GBA hacking. It recently got a full English translation which renewed the community's interest in it. Sword of Heaven and Earth is a "serious" hack, taking place at the same time as FE6 but reading a lot more like an FE7 sequel. A lot of the characters are from FE6 and FE7, such as the aforementioned Sigune and Dorcas.

7 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh yeah, I don't know Brunyaa at all, so that was confusing to see. She's that one sage in fe6? Wasn't memorable to me, so I guess I don't see much in their character to begin with, unless I'm thinking of someone else entirely.

Yeah, she's the Dragon General that's boring. Her most interesting feature is that you kill her after Zephiel.

9 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

They landed right at the heart of the Macecringian Vikings' base. They love to troll, especially when they raid a voice chat and yodel endlessly.

Yodel racial slurs?

11 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cyberpunk 1077

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1077

15 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

RIP

Ogma (1990-2010)

"I am the most unessarcy death. Screw you"

Ogma balls.

15 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Also, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

 1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I dunno. It sounds very Thracia-like, so it's surely what Kaga would've wanted.

Yes, and that's one of the things I don't like about Thracia, so...

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Unsure if I'll analyze every single unit placement

I can't blame you. I stupidly made it an image instead of a text document, so you can't search anyone easily. Only realized after the fact that I was big dum dum.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

although I'm a bit saddened that he wasn't in the double digit placements. 

Barely missed it, man.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I might add in my FE11 Cord and 2 units from this LP to like my version of your sig if you're ok with that. I don't want to be sued for all my Tomas points

You must pay royalty moneys to me if you wish to use my ideas.

...Nah, just go ahead.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I kinda wanted a meme reclass like that too, since reclassing in DSFE is just stupid fun, which I'm all for, but I really needed a healer. Warren healer coulda been silly, but a PMU is a PMU. Can't change the rules...not more than I already did

What if I told you to make him a levin swordmaster after Frost joins.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Hey, anything's better than another Malicia run, right?

Too true. I honestly don't know how you guys stomach her. I have never used her, and I'm proud of it!

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I could easily point out things in your favorite character list that would make you un-based, but I shan't.

You wouldn't dare.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Honestly, I am probably dropping Catria once I get the units that make me exceed the 12 slot limit. Sorry to the Catria fans, but once she uses up her early game usage (and lore I guess), I'd like to make room for the real heroes. Luckily, she's getting bad level ups, so I can be justified! Don't worry, I'll at least get her to a promotion tier, so I can screenshot everyone's endgame stats to look like something.

You will hear no complaints from me. Catria is one of those characters in a cast that I generally enjoy that makes me go "ehhh you exist."

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

There's a million quotes about this hack or something, so I'll just say it here.

You frighten me sometimes Ruben.

What? Why? Of all things, because I talked about SoHaE? I've said far more frightening things before.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is all souding like a foreign language to me. Is this a Gheb FE tier thing, an actual game? Is everyone just random bosses from other games or OC's? I don't get it!

No, it's an actual game. The funny meme bosses are actually not that common, and Mr. Gaidenman is the only one that's overtly memeish in his dialogue as well as the face. Most other bosses are either custom portraits or recolors of FE6/7/8 bosses for convenience.

It's absolutely a serious hack. Good one, at that.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ogma: "You can't be serious!"

Sirius: "How did you know my name? That shouldn't be possible!"

Ogma: Oh, that's actually your name? You can't be Sirius!"

Sirius: "...that one was on purpose, wasn't it?"

Ogma: "Of course not, I was being Sirius!"

Sirius: "ENOUGH!"

You did it to yourself, Sirius. You should've taken the issue of your fake name more Siriusly. And also your disguise, I mean for crying out loud you even wear the same style of clothing that you did before...

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Nothing triggers the Macedonians quite like the ping.

I know the feeling. Back in TF2's heyday, I had an extremely shitty internet connection. It would just randomly spike up to hundreds and I'd start to lag like hell. So frustrating.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

What. Damn you Ruben! Stop being correct!

Haahahahahaha...

Oh, it begins. Once more, it begins. And this time, I intend to bear witness.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yumina uses the staff of calming to soothe it. Just kidding, that's stupid. Why would that be a thing? She injected him with herapin

Now I almost wish I'd drafted her instead of Wrys. Wrys is great, but Yumina and Yubello are fun together. Heck, she manages to be a loli I don't really hate. That's not too common.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Sirius swings blindly and actually manages to slap someone with his lance. Yubello uses this opportunity to strike them down. Congrats Yubello. You are officially a war criminal, a murderer. Also, that wasn't actually a thief. They just wear those robes where they're from. Silly kid!

Using Yubello always feels like a war crime. He's realistically shitty for a little boy. He's terrified of the violence and death of the battlefield. He should not be fighting, there is zero reason to make him fight.

And then you give him an axe and tell him to lop heads off and he becomes a demigod somehow.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ok, this is just stupid. I've had good AU's, but this one is going too far. Why can't my Conquest Arthur get these growths?

Well, you see, Charlotte--

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Don't you dare bring up Haitaka again

I WASN'T EVEN GONNA

But since you're clearly acting tsundere in order to get me to bring him up, I shall remind you that Haitaka is the coolest thing ever, better than a good chunk of the proper Fates cast and capable of one-rounding the final boss. You asked for it!

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

At the same time (turn 6), Yubello gets another kill, this time with a crowd watching. Cord tells him to never show hesitation to the enemy, but Yubello can barely keep themselves from crying like a b-

After setting the pirate on fire, Yubello sees and hears them scream for a full minute as their flesh disintegrates, and their eyeballs melt away. Even Cord was disturbed. Cain's magic was usually less brutal. Yubello stood there and said nothing, basically scarred for life. Cord decides it's best that he doesn't use magic anymore. After all, that could lead to the next Cain incident with the whole starlight shenanigan, or your typical traumatized child who will end up being a protagonist against their will. 

Hahahahahah... Oh, this is too good. Cord realizes Yubello setting people on fire is fucked up, and his solution is to tell him to chop people up into steaks with an axe that is bigger than him? Man... Kid landed up with the wrong crowd.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Damn.

You wanted luck. You got your wish. Luckwrys.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Not much to say, just the squad together bullying trolls. (still turn 😎

I really do love how Serenes enjoys turning your sentences into emojis if you dare to use parentheses.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

........

........

I'm uncomfortable

It almost was a nice exchange, but then Marth made his Marthface and left in the middle of it.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Eyy! My boi pulls through! That luck level last time was a message. I was about to get lucky.

Holy fucking shit, though. Wrys, calm down. Or, I mean, don't, but... Sheesh. Magic's his only weakness right now, but I'm sure he's working on it-- and if not, he can always snort some dust.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

For f- Why is he good!?

Hahahahah

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA

General Matthis, conqueror of continents, liberator of realms, overall badass is once again at it. I never stopped believing. Never.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Once the Vikings retreated, Cord had Wrys act as Yubello's therapist.

With some of the things Wrys has said in the LP, I worry for Yube's future...

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord: "Wait...aren't you working for Lang?"

Ogma: "Yeah, what's the pro -ohhhh."

Cord: "Yep. G'bye!"

Ogma: "Hey, let's talk abo-"

RIP

Ogma (1990-2010)

"I am the most unnecessary death. Screw you"

Let me play you a sad song on the world's smallest violin.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

3 Houses in New Mystery!?!?!?

I actually hate myself

You want to unleash me, Jones? You've seen me at work, you know what I'm capable of. ChoZen couldn't resist me, you think you can?!

 

1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

A lot of the characters are from FE6 and FE7, such as the aforementioned Sigune and Dorcas.

Well, a lot, a lot... There's two characters from FE7 that return as playables, a handful of characters from both games who are NPCs, and everyone else is unheard of. It does do a better job of being supplementary material to both games than 7 did for 6, though, which is pretty hilarious.

[AnonymousSpeed]

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What? Why? Of all things, because I talked about SoHaE? I've said far more frightening things before.

On 10/18/2021 at 11:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Guess I'm fucked on the "have money" department, then.

Click for context.

***

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's not too common.

Probably because she wears clothes.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, a lot, a lot... There's two characters from FE7 that return as playables, a handful of characters from both games who are NPCs, and everyone else is unheard of. It does do a better job of being supplementary material to both games than 7 did for 6, though, which is pretty hilarious.

FE7 bad.

I don't know. It probably speaks to the quality of its writing (which isn't to say it's good as much as functional and competent) that it feels very related to FE7 without relying on a mountain of back-references. Although the main plot is kind of a back reference up to the point I've played.

Edited December 26, 2021 by AnonymousSpeed

[FlyingKitsune]

On 12/25/2021 at 11:27 AM, Shaky Jones said:

  Hide contents

I actually hate myself

 

Stupid jokes are part of my lifeblood, no need for your self-loathing.

 

[Shaky Jones]

Replies:

Spoiler

On 12/25/2021 at 11:44 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1077

Why is this something you know?

On 12/25/2021 at 11:44 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Ogma balls.

Damn

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, and that's one of the things I don't like about Thracia, so...

Wait, does this mean Berwick doesn't have Thracia tier shenanigans? That sounds impossible!

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You must pay royalty moneys to me if you wish to use my ideas.

...Nah, just go ahead.

One day, you'll just end up copyright'ing Matthis once he starts trending and everyone begins using him.

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

What if I told you to make him a levin swordmaster after Frost joins.

As funny as that'd be, I probably want two healers for staff stuff when I reach the late game. Gotta spam again and rescue and all that jazz. Besides, I feel like I made more than enough changes since the start of the PMU...

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Haahahahahaha...

 

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahahah

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA

All I can picture is you doing the Garon t-pose while laughing just like him. Also, damn you.

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Now I almost wish I'd drafted her instead of Wrys. Wrys is great, but Yumina and Yubello are fun together. Heck, she manages to be a loli I don't really hate. That's not too common

Is there anyone else that fits that category, or is this Yumina's special trait in the Ruben list? Yumina "the loli that Ruben doesn't hate". That's it. That's her thing.

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, you see, Charlotte--

Does Charlotte fight for justice?

NO

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I WASN'T EVEN GONNA

But since you're clearly acting tsundere in order to get me to bring him up, I shall remind you that Hait-

Oh whoops. I can't hear you over the sound of me killing Haitaka in chapter 9. Let me blast megalovania to brighten the mood of his death.

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I really do love how Serenes enjoys turning your sentences into emojis if you dare to use parentheses.

Man...

Ah whatever, I don't care enough to fix it, just leave it there.

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

With some of the things Wrys has said in the LP, I worry for Yube's future...

There's a lot of things you should worry about.

On 12/25/2021 at 1:46 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You want to unleash me, Jones? You've seen me at work, you know what I'm capable of. ChoZen couldn't resist me, you think you can?!

Woooow. 

Also yes. I can. 

On 12/25/2021 at 7:42 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

FE7 bad.

At last.

On 12/26/2021 at 5:40 PM, FlyingKitsune said:

Stupid jokes are part of my lifeblood, no need for your self-loathing.

I choose when I self loathe. Now is not that time, but most likely next time.

Chapter 5: Why Didn't We Do This Sooner?

Spoiler

Now that Cord and crew are finally done with the Macedon arc, they get much closer to their home base. However, they then discovered the Grustian base for Big Lang the rebellion. It was literally right outside Cord Castle, disguised as a parking lot for mounts. Very crappily disguised I might add. Oh well, time to liberate!

Finally. The best mechanic. Free abusing level ups to manipulate growths! Of course, someone like Matthis won't need that, right?

Why am I unironically more grateful for the luck?

Since Yubello clearly can't be trusted with magic, Cord gave him the best weapon type in the series. Axes! He uses it. Bord uses it. Dorcas, Batre, Gheb, Fargus, it's legendary! If you say this is biased, I will get IS to cancel all FE development.

Warren started the map off with a quick level up right in turn 1 from a thief kill. Sadly, Warren isn't really a speed guy.  

Matthis baits one of 3 mages on enemy phase. You might be wondering why I didn't recruit Rickard on turn 1. That's because I'm trying to avoid as much unnecessary fighting with non-drafted units as possible, and getting Julian to him causes him to be hurt. The rules I made state that undrafted units cannot fight (at least I put that in the last PMU rules), and the whole "self defense" excuse mainly exists for units that are surrounded in their joining chapter, like Navarre. This caused...a few resets here.

Hey look, the forge wasn't pointless. You're welcome.

I hate you Ruben.

I sure hope Bord gets the same lucky levels, but probably not since Matthis and Yubello apparently want to take all the luck. No, this isn't an upcoming level up. I'm just saying.

On turn 3, we got some funky horse dudes running don the mountain to run from the guy with the cheese touch. Sadly for them, it is too late. They must die, or it will spread.

Yubello was always hesitant to swing the bloody axe, but Cord was always nearby to give him the strength he needs to pull it off, plus the fact that most enemies are basically bleeding out by this point, so murder would be an act of mercy.

Wow, a silver sword user can't 2HKO Matthis. To be fair, I did use a rainbow potion to fix his luck stat, but still. This man could actually handle lunatic mode. 

F**k!

One day, you will be cursed. Your next Matthis will be awful! 

By turn 5, I finally get to reach this son of a *****

By the way, this event isn't cannon to the plot soooo, sorry Rickard fans. Julian is canonically dead. I just want to recruit everyone because that's the New Mystery experience. This was annoying to deal with though, because the only way to get Rickard in time with the whole one turn thing is by blocking him from leaving the north bridge, and since AU can't reclass to cavalier, Matthis and Catria were the only people, who can only tank so much. The other thief with the master seal can only be caught with a crit without an OHKO.

Here's that lucky crit back in turn 2. I believe this was my 4th attempt. Just felt like ranting. Screw you Rickard! Or screw me because of these self imposed rules!

By turn 6, the boiz and Catria make it past the bridge, and we all know what bridges exist for. Trolls. Even here, there are Macedonian trolls, waiting to troll whoever tries to pass their bridge, and Marth's about to get trolled.

I could've given these kills to Warren. I could have! But no, I chose Yubruhllo. I better not end up regretting this, or I will do something cringe.

Not defense, but 11 speed is really high for a level 3 unit, compared to Bord's 6 speed. He gotta catch up.

Considering all the blessed levels I got, I kind of expected Wrys to get screwed over. Oh well, he still got that speed.

On turn 7's enemy phase, the other trolls try to dox Cord, but one of them immediately gets gorshed, and Cord has now capped 2 stats. This man is already prepared for the freaking Altea arc.

There's the defense. I wonder what class is cannon, fighter or mercenary. I say this since his cipher card shows him a hero, but we're probably going berserker in the end. My brother used Hero Yubo a year ago, and even he reported that he has strangely high defense. How haven't I used him sooner? A meme-like growth unit with good availability and a decent like character combo with Yumina as young nobles with a possibly aspiring future, or a completely deranged adulthood stemming from PTSD. I like that one.

Also, you're welcome Garon man. So many wyvern kills...it could've gone to anyone else! And don't you dare respond to that with Matthis!

On turn 10, Matthis misses his chance for a thief kill. This displeased him quite a bit, but he will have many more opportunities in the future, so he keeps his smiling face, refusing to show any other emotion.

 

H O W ?

I give the kill to Warren, since he's mostly just been getting chip xp this whole time. It is annoying that whenever you don't kill an enemy, the physic user restores their HP, and because of that, wastes your precious physic usage. It pains me. I weep. I groan. 

This turn was rather spooky. 3 cavs and a sniper. The sniper in particular is a big threat from their high crit chance. Luckily, I left Bord on the southern island where there was a save circle, so I can afford to mess up. Cord kills the lower cav and Warren weakens the other one.

Okay. Warren is now a tier higher in my list of favorite FE12 characters. You did it.

After a Wrys heal, Arran takes out a cav with a silver lance, and holy moly. A defense level up! Ya love to see it.

Cord's gang has finally set up the bully zone for the stupid sniper, and it's up to Yubaka to do this thing. Kill the silver man. You must. You will die otherwise. Do it! Save yourself. Save your sister. Save Archanea!

Cord is an amazing father figure

This did take a reset or two since you might get an unlucky miss from this setup. Arran could easily get crit'd from the sniper, but he can survive it. He's only dead if the sniper lands 2 in a row. Luckily, I'm not THAT unlucky...yet.

After years of being bullied in elementary school, Yubulli finally gets a chance to feel power, trying to beat up a cornered sniper who used to be filled with pride and arrogance. Coincidentally, this sniper was actually the father of one of Yubaby's main bullies who almost threw him in a wyvern's jaw. Now, Yubrawlo is getting stronger, tankier, but not faster. His legs are like that of a chicken. 11 speed mainly comes from that fact that he's a child who has much more energy that than the adults who all have some kind of mental disorder they're dealing with. Losers. 

By turn 15, Cord borrows Yubabel's axe to chop down Toras's ballistae.

This is Toras. He's Big Lang's son's best' friend's uncle's coworker's babysitter. Someone about to rob your child? No worries! He'll detect and blast them from miles away! Unfortunately, he does refer to himself as a gemini, meaning he believes in star signs, so he must die.

By turn 17, all ballistae users were game ended, so Bord can move to the armor knights and do what he does best. Yes, he missed the first shot. Classic Bord!

Oh, he also killed him next turn.

ignore the lower fighter they are not real there is no fighter

They call him Holy Hexlock.

Yuboxer left the sniper to Catria's care after disarming them. She rants about her weekend to the dying soldier, but they clearly seem to prefer death as an alternative. Out of anger, she pokes them a few times to pay attention, causing internal bleeding, but no one's here to see that.

Marth was going to seize the throne, but Cord was bothered by the presence of these snipers chilling in the forest. They've been creeping the army out. He takes the time to investigate, only to find out they were LoL gamers, rivals to the cs:go gamers of Macedon. Appalled by their mere presence that soils this land, Cord takes it upon himself to wipe them out. 

(this was on turn 23 btw)

By taking out the host of the lobby, as well the LoL tournament itself, they will lose the will to fight.

Just kidding. I just want their staff.

Unsure if this counts as a good level up or not. I really wanted strength or speed, but luck and skill do help. Ehh, it's decent. Yay Bord.

I get one last Yubroken kill before exiting the stage. I hope you're happy.

Yes, I basically threw in a ton of turns just for the physic and 2 sniper kills. Not like I was gonna get a good tc anyways. Maybe 6 will go by faster. Oh wait, I don't get a thief, so Marth has to get the chest. Fun.

With the outer forces of the Grustian base liberated, it's now time to enter the fortress and take on Big Lang himself. But first, a support conversation

Wrys: "Ah, this place reminds me of when I used to teach at a monastery built here."

Cord: "Wait, there was a monestary here?"

Wrys: "This was likely when you were still serving under Barst. I remember it as if it was 5 years ago."

Cord: "Well, we still have a school round these parts, so nothing's stopping ya from just going back."

Wrys: "No...I've done more than enough teaching to aspiring leaders and knights. I am happy now, aiding those who require guidance for all sorts of issues, mostly regarding faith."

Cord: "I wonder why it was removed? Only thing I really know about the new one is that it's where Gordin learned how to use a bow. Wouldn't be surprised if Ryan also came from there. Wait...Ryan's still young. Ryan!"

Ryan runs from Cord, ignoring his 70+ missing assignments again.

Wrys: "I suppose it's up to me to discipline that green boy."

Cord: "Don't make him bald."

Wrys: "..........damn"

Next time:

Spoiler

Serotonin

It's almost New Years. This will probably be the last post of the LP in 2021. Do I make an awful pun about it? I mustn't.

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

 1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wait, does this mean Berwick doesn't have Thracia tier shenanigans? That sounds impossible!

It doesn't. It barely even feels like a Kaga game sometimes.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

One day, you'll just end up copyright'ing Matthis once he starts trending and everyone begins using him.

Like hell I will. I want more people to use Matthis, not less!

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

All I can picture is you doing the Garon t-pose while laughing just like him.

For the record, I did not make this, it was Shrimpy at Teehee

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Is there anyone else that fits that category, or is this Yumina's special trait in the Ruben list? Yumina "the loli that Ruben doesn't hate". That's it. That's her thing.

Errrrr...

I can't think of any at the moment. Lolis tend to annoy me, with the insufferable personalities they usually have and the sometimes... distasteful true purpose for their existence, let's leave it at that.

Yumina's different, though. She has character. And there's no trace of the second thing I mentioned with her, either, which is much appreciated.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh whoops. I can't hear you over the sound of me killing Haitaka in chapter 9. Let me blast megalovania to brighten the mood of his death.

I'll fucking kill you, Jones.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Woooow. 

Also yes. I can. 

Bah. Meanie... Poopyhead, even! Yes, I went there!

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

At last.

For the record, I've been saying that since before it was cool and trendy. Not that I'm saying Anonymous says it because it's cool and trendy. Anonymous says it because he has taste in FE.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

It was literally right outside Cord Castle, disguised as a parking lot for mounts. Very crappily disguised I might add.

Hey, apparently what Sirius has is considered a disguise in Archanea. This isn't too far off.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Why am I unironically more grateful for the luck?

11 defense too. That's pretty great for this part of the game.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Since Yubello clearly can't be trusted with magic, Cord gave him the best weapon type in the series. Axes! He uses it. Bord uses it. Dorcas, Batre, Gheb, Fargus, it's legendary! If you say this is biased, I will get IS to cancel all FE development.

Do it. What are they gonna do anyway? Three Houses 2? Pah, I say!

Anyway, Axel Berwick Saga also uses axes and is the best character in Berwick Saga. Unironically, I might add. I always get a little misty-eyed when I read his character arc.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Warren started the map off with a quick level up right in turn 1 from a thief kill. Sadly, Warren isn't really a speed guy.  

Eh, I think he's doing fine. As I said a few updates back, he's better than Castor already.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Hey look, the forge wasn't pointless. You're welcome.

Yubasedo. Now that's what I call a based forge name.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I hate you Ruben.

 

 

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

F**k!

One day, you will be cursed. Your next Matthis will be awful! 

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

By the way, this event isn't cannon to the plot soooo, sorry Rickard fans. Julian is canonically dead. I just want to recruit everyone because that's the New Mystery experience.

Oh well. F them.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Not defense, but 11 speed is really high for a level 3 unit, compared to Bord's 6 speed. He gotta catch up.

Oh and he's only getting started. Yubello's going to become the Warlord of Grust yet again.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

you're welcome Garon man. So many wyvern kills...it could've gone to anyone else!

Ma--

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

And don't you dare respond to that with Matthis!

ris. Maris. I know she's not here yet. And I don't think anyone even drafted her, which is a goddamned shame, I might add. She's the best waifu in the game!

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

H O W ?

And let's not forget the fact that apparently Lena's grandfather lived in a completely different area a year back, during Shadow Dragon. Such poor luck, to end up living in a battlefield twice in a row...

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Okay. Warren is now a tier higher in my list of favorite FE12 characters. You did it.

Hoho! Warren off to pop off! Keep at it, man.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

After a Wrys heal, Arran takes out a cav with a silver lance, and holy moly. A defense level up! Ya love to see it.

Best kind of level for this man. It singlehandedly extends his usability a chapter or two.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

After years of being bullied in elementary school, Yubulli finally gets a chance to feel power, trying to beat up a cornered sniper who used to be filled with pride and arrogance. Coincidentally, this sniper was actually the father of one of Yubaby's main bullies who almost threw him in a wyvern's jaw. Now, Yubrawlo is getting stronger, tankier, but not faster. His legs are like that of a chicken.

I love how you keep getting his name wrong. But I can't blame you. Yuhello is a deceptively punnable name.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

11 speed mainly comes from that fact that he's a child who has much more energy that than the adults who all have some kind of mental disorder they're dealing with. Losers. 

Implying he doesn't already have massive PTSD...

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is Toras. He's Big Lang's son's best' friend's uncle's coworker's babysitter. Someone about to rob your child? No worries! He'll detect and blast them from miles away! Unfortunately, he does refer to himself as a gemini, meaning he believes in star signs, so he must die.

This is more effort than the game itself put into this mook.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Unsure if this counts as a good level up or not. I really wanted strength or speed, but luck and skill do help. Ehh, it's decent. Yay Bord.

No speed is... unfortunate. Then again, Bord pretty much needs a pirate reclass to stand a chance, his speed growth is baloney.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I get one last Yubroken kill before exiting the stage. I hope you're happy.

I am, thank you very much for the concern. This has been a truly satisfying update.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Serotonin

Jesus Christ, but this is the most overpowered Kris I may've ever seen.

Of course, Kris being OP is boring, so who cares. Yubello is the real deal here.

 

[AnonymousSpeed]

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Why is this something you know?

I didn't, I just used the internet.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Damn

4th Chaos Emerald.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

One day, you'll just end up copyright'ing Matthis once he starts trending and everyone begins using him.

Imagine Nintendo suing 5 Points YouTube for copyright infringement and then Rubenio steps in with his court documents.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Does Charlotte fight for justice?

NO

Just use both. Fight for justice and money. Have waifus and chads. Use more axes.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

At last.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

For the record, I've been saying that since before it was cool and trendy. Not that I'm saying Anonymous says it because it's cool and trendy. Anonymous says it because he has taste in FE.

Thank you. I have made several threads expressing my distaste for FE7, primary as compared to FE6.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Maris. I know she's not here yet. And I don't think anyone even drafted her, which is a goddamned shame, I might add. She's the best waifu in the game!

Look man, I would've drafted Malice and Dice, but I didn't have infinitely many picks to use.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Since Yubello clearly can't be trusted with magic, Cord gave him the best weapon type in the series. Axes! He uses it. Bord uses it. Dorcas, Batre, Gheb, Fargus, it's legendary! If you say this is biased, I will get IS to cancel all FE development.

Wholehearted agreed. Axes are based and color-of-your-choice-pilled. All objective analysis concedes that axes are inherently cooler than other weapons.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

On turn 3, we got some funky horse dudes running don the mountain to run from the guy with the cheese touch. Sadly for them, it is too late. They must die, or it will spread.

Spoiler

 

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

By turn 6, the boiz and Catria make it past the bridge, and we all know what bridges exist for. Trolls. Even here, there are Macedonian trolls, waiting to troll whoever tries to pass their bridge, and Marth's about to get trolled.

Gamer trolls. Grumpy gamer trolls that live under the bridge.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

11 speed mainly comes from that fact that he's a child who has much more energy that than the adults who all have some kind of mental disorder they're dealing with. Losers. 

Yeah, Yoob's gotta get his own mental disorders like everyone else.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is Toras. He's Big Lang's son's best' friend's uncle's coworker's babysitter. Someone about to rob your child? No worries! He'll detect and blast them from miles away! Unfortunately, he does refer to himself as a gemini, meaning he believes in star signs, so he must die.

Me, preparing to commit sexicide on college campuses across America:

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh well. F them.

F to pay respects to Julian.

Edited December 31, 2021 by AnonymousSpeed

[Shaky Jones]

I am not a happy bonehead right now. 

As you know, I was really excited to do this PMU. And it was rather enjoyable. But then chapter 6 happened. First of all, I ended up doing the chapter twice, because I forgot to bring someone for Samto, so that was great. But replaying isn't the bad part. It's having twice as many screenshots and then forgetting which is which so deleting is too risky. Not only that, but I don't even like this chapter much to begin with, so writing this post was really boring to me, and I had other games to play, so it was easy for me to get distracted and not bother working on this post. But then, I nearly finish, and I accidentally lose everything. My post gets deleted, I think from an accidental refresh. Nothing saved. That was infuriating. I didn't want to do it all again, so I took a long break. I slowly got back into making the post bit by bit. And then.

It f**cking did it again! I ended up losing all my progress a second time! Just now! You have no idea how badly I want to just pretend this chapter never existed and move on. But I can't! It's an important chapter. You fight Lang, you get Samto, I got a ton of kills for Yubello and Bord. It's not something I can gloss over. I HAVE to do the post, but I have so many screenshots, and it's honestly a drag to look through. Granted, some of this is my fault. I took far too many here, and probably should've only taken important ones, but so many of them are highlight kills for units that I feel should be shown here! It's the whole point of playing this chapter the way I did! I want to play the PMU. I really do! But this chapter is hurting me, and I can't keep going until I finish the chapter 6 post! I don't even remember my replies to comments anymore, and argg! I hate chapter 6 now. It doesn't help that I have school again now. But there's no way I'm abandoning the LP. Hopefully, people actually remember about this by the time I regularly post again, since I probably waited too long, and all the LP hype is dead and forgotten. Doesn't help that I've also been stressing over my major, future life, and even trying to look for part time jobs to not be crushed by debt.

But yeah, I feel like ranting and I'm tired of this being completely dead. Just know that I do plan on continuing this and I'll post chapter 6 at SOME POINT. I haven't forgotten. I just really hate this situation. I had to play other FE's just to get this one out of my mind and get a breather, but now I'm mad again. Damn it! Thanks to anyone who is still willing to follow up with this LP despite the super long break. I want to please everyone who was reading this series, and the most painful part of the whole thing really was letting down the people who made drafts to begin with. Trust me, I WANT to see Bord cap stats. I'm not avoiding him. I want Astram to become great, and I want to somehow make Bantu do things. I might be overexaggerating about the whole ordeal, but I tend to do that when I'm angry, but typing this is helping me, and I'm starting to go crazy by having nothing to post after all this time. I'll really try to have chapter 6 done by the end of the month at the very latest. I probably won't reply to any comments from chapter 5, but I don't think anyone remembers those convos by now. Hope I get to continue making memes with you silly people soon. I'm still here, and my ambitions are as stupid as ever.

Side note: Will from FE7 is great.

[FlyingKitsune]

Don't worry dude, I'll keep on waiting for that moment. Don't stress out too much!

[Shaky Jones]

Welp. I felt much better after the rant. So I finished the post much quicker than I thought I would've. Now, I am going to pretend I never made that post and act as if the month long break never happened! I can finally start playing again. Thanks airborne fox person for the nice response btw. I appreciate it.

Chapter 6: Big Lang's Last Stand

Spoiler

Now inside the fort, Cord can finally put an end to this rebellion that has cost his army approximately 5 and a half hours of playtime. When this battle is over, Cord hopes that all conflict will cease, and he can focus on restoring glory to his struggling kingdom. However, the general of Grust will not go down without a fight, as the honor of his nation rides on this rebellion. 

Soldier #5: "General! Cord and his army has breached our defenses! They're entering the castle as we speak!"

Big Lang: "What!? Damn...I thought we had more time."

Soldier #5: "What are your orders sir? We're ready to fight the enemy. Just give us the word!"

Big Lang: "No...he's clearly made up his mind. He plans to wipe up all out. Grust has always been a thorn on Altea's side. They see us as villains. And you know what? Maybe we are. But we sure aren't careless about the value of one's life! I won't let my men fall. We're not equiped to defeat him. They stopped Macedon from aiding us. Our main forces are still in Grust while we reside here with a fraction of our elite soldiers. You'll all die. It is clear. I have lost. I have failed my men, and my country."

Solider #5: "General! It's not over until they stand on that throne. We still have a chance. I beg of you! Let us fight them! If we are to fall, we will die honorably under your command."

Big Lang: "No. You have a family. All of you do. It's not worth throwing that away. Your sister has their birthday in 5 days, correct? It would break their heart if you weren't there for them. I am proud to have fought with a battalion as devoted as you."

Soldier #5: "Big Lang...no! We can't allow you to fall now. You are Grust's only hope! Everyone here has the utmost respect for you and all you have done for us, for our country! I am sorry, but we will fight even if you tell us not to!"

Big Lang: "Damn you! The odds are against us! You're just throwing your life away!"

Soldier #5: "I am sorry general. You may do whatever you wish with me when this is over, but I will live long enough to see Cord fall. I swear it. Altea will fall!!!"

The Grustian soldiers let out a war cry, ready to fight one last battle. 

Big Lang: "Heh. So this is the thanks I get. Somehow, it feels both insulting, but heartwarming. Very well. Everyone! Cord will approach us at any moment! Give em hell! We will give Altea a memory they will never forget! We are warriors! We are brave! We are Grust!"

Meanwhile, Cord and the crew arrive at the center of the main room for the Grustian base, where they get surrounded by armor knights. Bord's eyes flash as he holds his hammer, ready to show everyone what he was really made of. He and Cord were going to make history.

Bord drank up a rainbow potion, and he had just enough strength to do some good ol OHKO'ing, or as I like to call it, Bord o'clock. 

Unfortunately, I had to waste 1000 gold just to increase Marth's rapier by 1 might to 1RKO the knight. Sure I coulda used more rainbow potions, but I already used another on Yubottle, and I sure ain't gonna use 3 in one map. That's just petty.

"Used to play a lot of baseball back in the day. They call me Homerun Hero!"

This chapter is basically going to be entirely focused on giving Yubirthright and Bord all the kills. In other words, I was dedicating the chapter to Ruben and JimmyFE.

Well there's the defense I was promised. If I don't reach the max defense by endgame, I will be very upset.

After routing the western portion of enemies, an archer appears from downstairs. She seemed to be some former Grustian soldier who decided that Grust was too cringe to stay with, so she decides to help Cord's crew. 

Marth? Why do you look like that? Don't tell me you forgot about the Est incident!?

Just as she warned, a horde of enemies soon appeared, hoping to surround him from outside and finally take out the big guy. Unfortunately, Cord is promoted already and is virtually impossible to kill. Also, there's no enemies chasing me from the top, so making choke points is a rather easy strat. Honestly, these guys suck.

Warren shot at the lance soldier. He hit Matthis. He shoots again. He hits Matthis again. He shoots one last time, which hits a wall, ricocheting against it and landing on the soldier, killing him and ricocheting the arrow back to Matthis again.

"Used to play college ball ya know. They call me Armor Annihilator!"

All games of American football in Archanea utilize standard high school armor designed to prevent concussions or unwanted butt touching, except for in Macedon, in which doing so gives you extra points"

Now THIS is the Bord experience!

This is why I gave Yubicycle the rainbow potion. It gives just enough might to pull some easy kills, and I can't not take that opportunity. Sure I don't need it, but it's convenient. 

I'm not a fan of the accuracy, but she kills. That totally can't be said for every other unit in the game. Shut up.

Also, don't mind Catria being on a different tile without having used up her turn. She's a big fan of Sans Undertale. She does this a lot. No, it's not because of 2nd attempts that have very slight differences in positioning. 

As the crew rout the enemy, Wrys discovers a treadmill and puts in the work.

2 soldiers arrive, but Arran and Cord can't die. Like, they just can't. I'd have to go out of my way to kill them. What an easy game.

Here's one last incident of people appearing differently than from the last slide. Note to self. Immediately delete old screenshots before re-attempting a map. This cannot happen again. We can't all teleport. That's just unrealistic.

Javelins suck. They're so weak. If this game had short spears, it probably shoulda been used here. Of course, javs get forged on lunatic, but then I'd get no silver card, and that's no fun.

Those two soldiers were merely bait for the 4 dudes to attack us by surprise here, but I then realize that making General Arran a free unit was a mistake. He's too OP. I'll keep that in mind for next time when I do this 312 days from now.

Although it's not very fun to just wait out reinforcements that aren't really too tough, it is rather satisfying to see Yubartre get so many kills. 

No defense? He's bad. No tanking. Big let down. I hate you Rubello!

"I used to wrestle back in the day. They call me Backbreaker Bord!"

Well, at least he survived the enemy phase. I guess he's alright.

Something about doing exact damage while the enemy fails to kill you in 2 hits is rather pleasing to see, assuming it's for a cool unit like Warren.

If it wasn't for his luck, I'd say he's a pretty good tank. This happened on my last run too.

By turn 10, Catria mercilessly slaughtered a priest that wasn't doing anything other than holding a stat booster. Was it worth it Catria?

Ah crap. I guess it was. And if that wasn't bad enough, she persuaded the other priest to hand over the stat booster by tossing it up the wall preventing her from picking it up. By persuaded, I mean she tried killing him for 3 minutes before he begged for his life and they made a deal.

Finally! Magic! Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do when he promotes. I want to dump my spirit dusts on Frost for the lols, but Wrys will probably less magic by then, somehow. 

By turn 13, we encounter the edgy sword guy, Navarre, the character whose boring traits inspired the actual good character that is Kelik.

Oh God. Navarre must've been to [REDACTED] island!

Oh. Turns out it was the Grustian jester. He was cosplaying as an investor of crypto land. Okay. That's kinda funny. Cord decided to recruit him for the laughs. He decides to betray Big Lang because it sounds funny.

This turn was actually rather spooky. Big Lang goes all out and throws quite a couple of knights in combination with some bishops that dish out heavy fire damage. It's hard to rush in that them when there's not much room for my units to approach them from.

Norne doesn't die in one hit from the bishop. This means she is officially a mage killer, and now you can't call her a bad unit. I win.

Ignore the fact that she has 0 res. I stand by my argument. Don't call me wrong or I'll rant about people being mean on Gamefaqs.

Thank Gotoh that there's a save circle near Samtuelo. That 75 hit is disgusting to rely on.

"I was a big party guy when I was younger, and boy did I cause so much chaos and property damage back in the day. They call me Crazy Clubber!"

I do hope this run will be what makes me become a full on Bord fan as well as the Cord Connoisseur. Of course, I do like Bord now, and I'll always prioritize Cord as the unit I think everyone should use, but I would like to gain more appreciation for Bord. They're a duo. I can't just say one of them is good. The hammer is iconic. No one else should even be allowed to wield it!

So I did the math and realized Yubello would take exact damage that would kill him if he takes out the remaining bishop, as I don't have enough units to take out the armor knight. Luckily, Samtuelo was holding a prop meant to mock people who refer to themselves through star signs with an aquarius shard that just so happen to give the Yubodybuilder the stats he needs to survive.

Aside from his axe rank, I have to admit, Yubazooka is starting to become one of my best non promoted units. 

Don't worry. Wrys is helping too. If he hadn't used physic, Catria woulda died. Good lad.

2 magic!? That's basically the amount he's gotten throughout the whole game, all in one chapter.

The next few turns was mostly simple. Take out remaining enemies. Heal allies, and get ready to approach the main boss of this entire arc of the game. Surely, he must be very strong and intimidating!

Wow, that is.....underwhelming. I get that generals aren't going to be fast, but 21 attack? Javelins are too weak to be a boss weapon! I know this game has spears. Paladins use them in chapter 20. Just give him that. Any Kris could obliterate the guy. Even with 17 defense, you could easily use a hammer, wing spear, or rapier, so his defense isn't a threat. This boss always bugged me. Sure, his actual character is just "am bad guy", but come on. He's the guy you've been waiting 6 chapters to kill. He's the reason you did the dreaded chapter 3. You want some epic battle. This is just sad. Oh well. I guess no boss in this game can be great, since they're either too weak for Kris, or too strong that no one really stands a chance like a cetain shadow dragon

Since it's way to easy to just have Cord solo the guy. I tried making the fight mainly between Yubreakfast and Big Lang. It took a while, but Marth was busy getting the chests anyways, so it's not like I was losing turns or anything. The hit rate is scary, but there was another save to the right, so there's no real punishment here. Just 2nd hand embarrassment.

Big Lang: "Well well well. If it isn't Yuboylo. It seems you found a new family. I am glad for you, but of all people. Cord? Why? Did nothing of Grust's suffering mean anything to you?"

Yuberwick: "I understand your pain. Altea has always had bad history with your people. Everyone lives in poverty. You never receive aide. And you tend to be blamed for most acts of warfare. As the Archanean council said themselves from the last war: "Grust is cringe. Make them pay war damages lol".

Big Lang: "Aye. It's a tragic fate for our country. At this point, there is no saving us. We are doomed. It hurts to accept that, but there is nothing else that can be done. This old man has done all his bones will let him do. But my time is up. Kid, I f**ked up."

Yubomberman: "Your people might have done some bad things in the past, but men like you prove that there is more to your citizens and soldiers than mere criminals seeking power. Most of the conflict came from the IRS anyways. It was just easy to pin all that on you. I learned that from asking around. Both with Cord's people and yours. Even with that strange mercenary, Ogma. Sadly, it seems your rebellion has only caused more problems. It had to end. Please, surrender, and let me convince Cord to spare you."

Big Lang: "No. He won't let a rat like me scurry on to the sewers of Grust. I swore my own life that I would see that Cord falls or die trying. A man who can't even serve his own kingdom isn't worth ruling over that land. His reckless actions that only help his own land cause suffering for others, and then he just leaves and hurts his own people. No one wins here. What's the first thing Cord did when he came back from his so called "cat hunt"? "He commits war crimes to Macedon! Sure, they're weirdos. They're gamers. But they're still human! And he tarnishes their conventions. It hurts their army for what would've fought them, sure. I get their strategy. But the consequences. The chain of events. It was almost Christmas time there. Think of all the kids who couldn't get their favorite games now that he destroyed the GameStop and decommissioned the paper printing factory. This also destroys their gaming focused economy entirely. Even people from Altea, or Cord Castle as the narcissist calls it, won't get anything. He never stops to consider the weight of his actions. Never punished."

Yuburger: "Lang...I'm sorry. I know. I know he's done many things wrong. But, you have to forgive him. I can help him. I know of Grust. I can tell him of your story! Surely' he'll listen to me! Altea has no one else. You can't overtake the place yourself. You know it will only make you look like a tyrant. Even if you win the people's heart with your charisma, the higher ups will silence you! Please. Just leave. I promise I will make this world a better place. If Cord really does act out of line, and becomes a monster of a man, I.....I'll end him myself."

Big Lang: "Heh. heheheh...hahahahaha!!. Bwahahahahahaaha!!! Oh, you're funny one, boy! Son, you've really grown up. I've only been with you for a short while, but I think I can safely say, I'm proud of the man you've become. And the best part? You could still be much better! I know that you'll have what it takes to shape the world into a better place. Oh yeah. Tell Yumina I said howdy. G'bye!"

Big Lang readies his lance, and impales himself, falling to the ground. His blood slowly filled the room, circling around Yuberserker. The war with Grust was over.

Yubello: "Lang.....thank you...for everything"

Cord: "Finally! The old bastard's dead! We dun did it boiz!"

Bord: "Ah hell yeah! I did it!"

Cord: "You did it!? Why I oughta-"

Cord and Bord fight each other once again

Yuboring: ".....I hate everyone"

Hey! At least you got a good level up! That's worth smiling for, yeah?

I didn't take the turn count screenshot, but it was 21 turns. Coulda been much less if I actually brought a thief for the chests, but they're not drafted, and I'm not breaking the rules for some chests.

 Next time...

Spoiler

Wow, what a fun and fair looking map! I sure hope I don't die endlessly trying to recruit units that aren't even drafted!

 

Edited January 26, 2022 by Shaky Jones

[Saint Rubenio]

Dang, before I got around to posting a supportive message, you went and updated.

Spoiler

 8 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Big Lang: "Damn you! The odds are against us! You're just throwing your life away!"

Soldier #5: "I am sorry general. You may do whatever you wish with me when this is over, but I will live long enough to see Cord fall. I swear it. Altea will fall!!!"

The Grustian soldiers let out a war cry, ready to fight one last battle. 

Big Lang: "Heh. So this is the thanks I get. Somehow, it feels both insulting, but heartwarming. Very well. Everyone! Cord will approach us at any moment! Give em hell! We will give Altea a memory they will never forget! We are warriors! We are brave! We are Grust!"

You made Lang into a sympathetic villain. I love it.

10 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Marth? Why do you look like that? Don't tell me you forgot about the Est incident!?

Marth is just happy to hear enemies are coming, meaning there's a chance they'll kill him and end his torment.

11 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Warren shot at the lance soldier. He hit Matthis. He shoots again. He hits Matthis again. He shoots one last time, which hits a wall, ricocheting against it and landing on the soldier, killing him and ricocheting the arrow back to Matthis again.

This just isn't Matthis's day. For some reason.

11 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

play college ball ya know.

A T

S O M E

C U S H Y

I V Y

L E A G U E

S C H O O L

11 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Now THIS is the Bord experience!

Yikes. Putting that terrible speed growth to good use, I see.

12 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

As the crew rout the enemy, Wrys discovers a treadmill and puts in the work.

He just keeps on piling up the speed. Good for him. At this rate he might even surpass Wendell, the fastest old man in Archanea.

12 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

We can't all teleport. That's just unrealistic.

It's very realistic, this isn't lunatic.

13 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

No defense? He's bad. No tanking. Big let down. I hate you Rubello!

Give me a break, it's not my fault that your lack of faith in Yubello is causing him to slack off.

13 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Finally! Magic! Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do when he promotes. I want to dump my spirit dusts on Frost for the lols, but Wrys will probably less magic by then, somehow. 

Woo! What a level! I mean, sure, 5 magic at level 15, but... woo!

14 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Good Norne? Again?

15 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

...Okay, what's going on, now. He has a 30% speed growth. Everyone knows 30% growths in FE are really 5%.

16 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

So I did the math and realized Yubello would take exact damage

Baaaahh you didn't change Yubello's name to a funny joke here. Bad LPer, I'm going to unsubscribe from your Youtube channel.

16 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Aside from his axe rank, I have to admit, Yubazooka is starting to become one of my best non promoted units. 

Bwahahahahah... What did I tell you? It's beautiful, beautiful.

Now keep at it.

16 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

2 magic!? That's basically the amount he's gotten throughout the whole game, all in one chapter.

Wrys is a humble man who understands his limitations. But he doesn't let them stop him. Watch him get magic the rest of the game and ram his cap.

19 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Big Lang: "Well well well. If it isn't Yuboylo. It seems you found a new family. I am glad for you, but of all people. Cord? Why? Did nothing of Grust's suffering mean anything to you?"

Yuberwick: "I understand your pain. Altea has always had bad history with your people. Everyone lives in poverty. You never receive aide. And you tend to be blamed for most acts of warfare. As the Archanean council said themselves from the last war: "Grust is cringe. Make them pay war damages lol".

Big Lang: "Aye. It's a tragic fate for our country. At this point, there is no saving us. We are doomed. It hurts to accept that, but there is nothing else that can be done. This old man has done all his bones will let him do. But my time is up. Kid, I f**ked up."

Yubomberman: "Your people might have done some bad things in the past, but men like you prove that there is more to your citizens and soldiers than mere criminals seeking power. Most of the conflict came from the IRS anyways. It was just easy to pin all that on you. I learned that from asking around. Both with Cord's people and yours. Even with that strange mercenary, Ogma. Sadly, it seems your rebellion has only caused more problems. It had to end. Please, surrender, and let me convince Cord to spare you."

Big Lang: "No. He won't let a rat like me scurry on to the sewers of Grust. I swore my own life that I would see that Cord falls or die trying. A man who can't even serve his own kingdom isn't worth ruling over that land. His reckless actions that only help his own land cause suffering for others, and then he just leaves and hurts his own people. No one wins here. What's the first thing Cord did when he came back from his so called "cat hunt"? "He commits war crimes to Macedon! Sure, they're weirdos. They're gamers. But they're still human! And he tarnishes their conventions. It hurts their army for what would've fought them, sure. I get their strategy. But the consequences. The chain of events. It was almost Christmas time there. Think of all the kids who couldn't get their favorite games now that he destroyed the GameStop and decommissioned the paper printing factory. This also destroys their gaming focused economy entirely. Even people from Altea, or Cord Castle as the narcissist calls it, won't get anything. He never stops to consider the weight of his actions. Never punished."

Yuburger: "Lang...I'm sorry. I know. I know he's done many things wrong. But, you have to forgive him. I can help him. I know of Grust. I can tell him of your story! Surely' he'll listen to me! Altea has no one else. You can't overtake the place yourself. You know it will only make you look like a tyrant. Even if you win the people's heart with your charisma, the higher ups will silence you! Please. Just leave. I promise I will make this world a better place. If Cord really does act out of line, and becomes a monster of a man, I.....I'll end him myself."

Big Lang: "Heh. heheheh...hahahahaha!!. Bwahahahahahaaha!!! Oh, you're funny one, boy! Son, you've really grown up. I've only been with you for a short while, but I think I can safely say, I'm proud of the man you've become. And the best part? You could still be much better! I know that you'll have what it takes to shape the world into a better place. Oh yeah. Tell Yumina I said howdy. G'bye!"

Big Lang readies his lance, and impales himself, falling to the ground. His blood slowly filled the room, circling around Yuberserker. The war with Grust was over.

I'm so torn between finding this amazing for the cool convo and finding this amazing for the fact that you wrote stuff like "Sure, they're weirdos. They're gamers. But they're still human!" with a straight face.

All in all, pretty amazing. 10/10. Can't wait to watch the intense duel between Yubello and Cord. But you should let me write it, you're biased in Cord's favor.

19 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Hey! At least you got a good level up! That's worth smiling for, yeah?

At this point I think it'll take some of those funny pills Wrys carries around to make this poor boy smile.

Also, you were asking about the Tankybello? There's your Tankybello.

21 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wow, what a fun and fair looking map! I sure hope I don't die endlessly trying to recruit units that aren't even drafted!

Boy, wouldn't it be a tragedy if you decided to just murder them instead, to give Yubello experience.

 

[FlyingKitsune]

Man, I had forgotten what Norne had looked like here.

[Shaky Jones]

Replies:

Spoiler

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yikes. Putting that terrible speed growth to good use, I see.

Who needs speed when you can just kill them in one hit?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Okay, what's going on, now. He has a 30% speed growth. Everyone knows 30% growths in FE are really 5%

Buddy...you would've gone crazy at the FE11 pmu. I had hunter Darros in the early game, who only has a 25% speed growth. He got speed 5 times in a row. 5. I will proudly wear my SpeeDarros badge on my sig until the day I die to prove that the growth numbers are a sham, and that Darros is awesome. You just need to believe.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm so torn between finding this amazing for the cool convo and finding this amazing for the fact that you wrote stuff like "Sure, they're weirdos. They're gamers. But they're still human!" with a straight face.

W O R L D B U I L D I N G

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Can't wait to watch the intense duel between Yubello and Cord. But you should let me write it, you're biased in Cord's favor.

Oh sure. You totally won't have bias for Yubattle! We'd need a 3rd party. One influenced by neither of us. Yes, we must ask Kaga himself.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Boy, wouldn't it be a tragedy if you decided to just murder them instead, to give Yubello experience.

I really should tbh, but recruiting everyone adds a challenge to the run, and I want this to feel like torture so I can blame all of you for when I am diagnosed as clinically insane.

Oh yeah. Congrats on the Serra. 

1 hour ago, FlyingKitsune said:

Man, I had forgotten what Norne had looked like here.

Is she for the better or worse here?

Chapter 6x: Who Thought This Was Good Map Design?

Spoiler

Now done dealing with Big Lang and his shenanigans, Cord finally begins to return to Altea for the 5th time, hoping to resume to his duties that he had neglected for so long. However, it seemed a trap was set up for him and his companions during the skirmish. Cord always gets hungry after a long battle. So, he headed to the nearest Burger Emperor restaurant to treat his army with a quick celebratory meal while they head back to Cord Castle for what would presumably be a full on feast. It's actually just going to be more fast food. However, a familiar masked man awaited them there. He blocked the entrance to the place, and while Cord was yelling to him about being a stupid entitled millennial, several enemies ambush him and the squad. They now have to fight there way into the holy food grounds.

Marth easily wipes out the armor guy. I have to ask. Why do they put one of them and only one? It's so odd to me. I guess he's the 3rd pal of the Caesar squad whose class stands out? Poor guy.

Luckily, there's no need to block the southern path, as no one reaches that spot if you're far enough. Also, I must concede defeat. Ruben was right. Yubartender was basically my only choice of another tank. I'd have been screwed otherwise. Sure, Matthis has good defense, but not enough health yet. I didn't even use rainbow potions on this chapter. Just the orbs. I think Matthis coulda tanked with rainbow potion aide, but Yubureaucrat pulled through. You may brag about being correct once.

Warren has never missed a shot so far, and the enemies always complain because it looks like it missed on their end, until they randomly die 20 seconds later.

Man...now I don't want to use hunter Samto. Dude has 6 speed. I'm not kidding. His other draft coulda been fighter sure, but I have so many those, and the accuracy would be horrendous. Eh, I'll find a way.

So my strat for turn 2 is to have Cord taken out half of the enemies, while Marth takes out one, and Caesar hopefully attacks Arran. Unfortunately, I forgot the most important rule of FE12 AI. They always prioritze damage input, and Arran has more defense.

Also, I had to use a physic on Yubello to keep him alive. He's taking quite the beating after all. Poor kid.

It took some attempts, but after a while, I actually managed to keep Caesar alive. Cord missed with a hand axe. You can see that, people like Matthis have to bait archers so other units don't get overwhelmed.

I retreat from defending the eastern side and I had to trade Yubuddhism's strength orb to Cord so he could get the strength needed to take out the lousy masked man. Matthis takes the defense orb and has to defend for a turn. Luckily, I took out most two range units, so he won't be attack that many times.

Oh yeah. Here's Roro. Not much to say here. It's just a fake. Or I guess he's real, but not the OG? Are they manufactured? They magically appear in 10x infinitely. Ah who cares. Promoted unit = high xp.

I could undeploy him for 7 chapters, and he'd still be good upon return. I should try a no Kris run someday.

So Marth was placed in a spot where he can seize this turn, but I sadly failed to screenshot quite a few things. First was a Marth level on turn 2. It wasn't too important. But then I missed an Arran level where he got defense again. That was cool. But the coolest event that caught me off guard was Wrys dodging the archer. I made a mistake just leaving the north spot open for Casear and the archer to kill Wrys at, but the dodge saved him. Normally, I hate relying on dodge strats, but this was a stupid self imposed challenge anyways, and it's fricken Wrys. That was cool. I didn't even reset for that. It just happened.

He even got more magic! Dang, I messed up with screenshots. Oh well. It's chapter 6x. It sucks. But at least Wrys is good.

Of course you get defense again. At least he'll actually be a competent General, even if he'll be slow as heck. Wait...cav to General.

Oh God, am I going to have to give him the boots!?

Oh no! 3 missed kills? It's over. I wasted xp. Sorry guys. I'm gonna have to start the run over.

Hardly any jokes I can make about this map. It's 6x. Nobody likes it. No one. It's only good in the sense that you get Caesar. Yes, I'm not a Radd guy, despite the memes. I like Caesar more. He has more of a character and I like him as a unit more too. He tends to do better for me anyways. Plus, Caesar is a cool name. Radd is, well rad, but it's not what I'm looking for. Still, Cord is better. Use Cord in your runs if you haven't. I swear he's good.

Next time...

Spoiler

Literally demanding that I feed him thief kills. I see how it is. This text was made by Ruben.

 

[AnonymousSpeed]

On 1/26/2022 at 12:01 AM, Shaky Jones said:

My post gets deleted, I think from an accidental refresh. Nothing saved. That was infuriating.

Yeah, the SF editor works for the most part, but it is lacking a certain grace.

16 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Now THIS is the Bord experience!

The Bord Experience Requiem.

5 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Man...now I don't want to use hunter Samto. Dude has 6 speed. I'm not kidding. His other draft coulda been fighter sure, but I have so many those, and the accuracy would be horrendous. Eh, I'll find a way.

You have nobody to blame but yourself, Jester Clown.

Glad to see the run back, though. I have renewed admiration for your dedication.

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

 8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I really should tbh, but recruiting everyone adds a challenge to the run, and I want this to feel like torture so I can blame all of you for when I am diagnosed as clinically insane.

Hah! All right, then. Knock yourself out.

Quote

Oh yeah. Congrats on the Serra. 

Thanks. I'm so proud of her, myself. She's the only reason I finished the run!

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Marth easily wipes out the armor guy. I have to ask. Why do they put one of them and only one? I guess he's the 3rd pal of the Caesar squad whose class stands out? Poor guy.

I guess "Caesar and Radd" rolls off the tongue a lot easier than "Caesar, Radd and Hernando." Alas, poor Hernando. Doomed to an existence without glory. He's the true Hero of Shadow.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Also, I must concede defeat. Ruben was right.

The expected result.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You may brag about being correct once.

I will pretend I did not read this.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Man...now I don't want to use hunter Samto. Dude has 6 speed. I'm not kidding. His other draft coulda been fighter sure, but I have so many those, and the accuracy would be horrendous. Eh, I'll find a way.

Dark mage Sammy?

In all seriousness, Samto's speed growth is through the roof, at least. 65% should allow him to catch up if you get him a number of levels. Of course, there's the rest of his stats, where his growths are terribad... Oh, God. Poor you, being made to use Samto.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I could undeploy him for 7 chapters, and he'd still be good upon return. I should try a no Kris run someday.

That's Kris for ya. I'm more interested in Yubello's continued successes, personally. Those are more... spicy.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I made a mistake just leaving the north spot open for Casear and the archer to kill Wrys at, but the dodge saved him. Normally, I hate relying on dodge strats, but this was a stupid self imposed challenge anyways, and it's fricken Wrys. That was cool. I didn't even reset for that. It just happened.

Wrys putting those mad speed gains to use. Attaboy! Uh, old boy.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

He even got more magic! Dang, I messed up with screenshots. Oh well.

Aren't you glad you picked him over Malicia?

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Of course you get defense again. At least he'll actually be a competent General, even if he'll be slow as heck.

I love that base skill of 3. Thank God this is DSFE. And even here the poor guy's pushing it.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wait...cav to General.

Oh God, am I going to have to give him the boots!?

I hadn't even thought of that.

But dew it.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's 6x. Nobody likes it. No one.

I can attest to that, at least. In my first lunatic run I spent like an hour on it. Horrible map, it doesn't scale well with the difficulties at all. The higher you go, the shittier 6x becomes.

 

[FlyingKitsune]

Wrys gaming is real.

[AnonymousSpeed]

Guys.

Guys guess what.

On 1/27/2022 at 2:35 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Man...now I don't want to use hunter Samto. Dude has 6 speed.

Virgin Samto

vs.

The Chad Warden

 

[Shaky Jones]

Replies:

Spoiler

On 1/27/2022 at 5:28 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Glad to see the run back, though. I have renewed admiration for your dedication.

Thanks Dr. Speed

On 1/27/2022 at 8:33 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Thanks. I'm so proud of her, myself. She's the only reason I finished the run!

Glad you found something worth the end of the tunnel that is FE7. Everytime I pick it up, I think to myself, "I could be playing Last Promise".

My only motivation will probably be Will and maybe Bartre.

On 1/27/2022 at 8:33 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I guess "Caesar and Radd" rolls off the tongue a lot easier than "Caesar, Radd and Hernando." Alas, poor Hernando. Doomed to an existence without glory. He's the true Hero of Shadow.

Now I wish I could name generic units and call one of them Hernando, just to honor the non existent character that was unjustly thrown aside.

On 1/27/2022 at 8:33 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Aren't you glad you picked him over Malicia?

Well...about that...

On 1/27/2022 at 8:33 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I love that base skill of 3. Thank God this is DSFE. And even here the poor guy's pushing it.

It is rather annyoing that he just can't use the javelin and even the steel lance isn't worth using sometimes. I don't wanna throw away 2000 gold just for accuracy! 

On 1/27/2022 at 8:33 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I can attest to that, at least. In my first lunatic run I spent like an hour on it. Horrible map, it doesn't scale well with the difficulties at all. The higher you go, the shittier 6x becomes.

I mean, I often just skip the map with rescue strats, but that usually only works with Draco Kris, which I don't have here.

Chapter 7: How Much Weight...Can You Handle

Spoiler

Now having eaten, Cord makes his way ever closer to Cord Castle, but realizes that now would be a perfect time to collect some firewood! It's almost Christmas after all!

(in their world)

Since Bord and Cord used to practically live in these forests as young teens, selling wood for a quick buck to afford food, they often came here to relax from everything going on in the world. As such, they have set up a small base within the forest where they kept certain sentimental goods they recieved for their work back then. They decided that perhaps it was time to hand these over to children of a new generation as Christmas gifts. Cord could get Wrys to dress up as Santa. However, when they arrive, the see a group of thieves who are trying to take all of their goods for themselves. Enraged by these filthy rats and their lack of respect for Christmas, Cord orders his army to kill every last one of them.

Within the forest were two strange individuals. One was a dancer, and the other was a myrmidon. The Kelik ripoff's name was Navarre, and they were assisting the thieves in order to have something to give to a special person. He has no money and cannot buy a gift himself. However, he sees Cord from a distance and immediately decides to betray them because he is not ready to lose his limbs today.

It's odd seeing bows have such low might. However, I think it makes sense for this game, since 2 range is really useful in DSFE. Also, as I always say, "Bows are the best stat".

From Warren's what?

Feena attempts to seduce Navarra. Unfortunately, Navarre isn't into women. In fact, her dancing offended him greatly.

RIP

Feena (1994-2010)

"You just HAD to be one of THOSE types!"

So Catria has plenty of stat buffs. Would a good unit require that? No. Bad unit. Replace!

The reason she has the potion buffs is because I wanted her to have enough might to 2 shot thieves with a javelin. I also want her to have enough defense to survive a steel bow. She didn't NEED the defense buff for it, since there's always the shards, but more tanking helps.

Oh. A lucky crit. That's very convenient.

Yes, I am using Feena for this chapter. Luckily, I can justify it since saving Navarre would be basically impossible without her help, along with getting the shard I need for the good ending. Don't worry. I didn't use her too much. She's not drafted after all, but let me have ONE chapter with her. It's not like using her is canon to the plot anyways!

Maniac mode is nice enough to make the enemies just weak enough to leave Navarre alive on turn 1. He actually gets a crit on thief. He's another unit who gets to fight this chapter, as it is basically in self defense.

Turn 2 mostly just consists of my army trying to rush through the forest, but they're constantly tripping through vines.

Samto however, ain't playing games.

I assume this is the game's intended strat on maniac, given how perfectly it works. You barely survive a turn, and the vulnerary gives you enough health to survive the hunter to take out next turn, while no one else can reach you yet. The main issue I have with the chapter is the partial reliance to blessed fliers. Like I don't see how you could get most rewards and keep him alive if all your fliers got bad levels, especially in lunatic, where only Kris has a chance of surviving a silver bow bow you'd need to get in range of to get the rewards. Eh, it's not a very fun chapter to me, but I get the design and risk reward thing going on here. It also tests your rescue staff management, since it really helps, but you could get by without it given your team setup...that I can't control because I was only given one flier!

Catria manages to survive a steel bow on enemy phase, but the poopyhead decided to proc miracle.

I had to take some risks this turn. This thief had an angelic robe, and I sure wasn't about to lose that, but only Cord could reach him (not counting Catria). Of course, this places him in range of a group of heroes, so I had to use a rescue staff on him afterwards. 

It was odd seeing them wait in place there, but Cord didn't want to risk provoking them. So, he interrogated the thief he was about to kill. It turns out that they hired Astram as a merc who'd help them if there seemed to be trouble. Unfortunately for them, he really doesn't care about his job. He'd rather be at home with Jeorge, celebrating the holidays. 

Catria feeds the dying hunter to her pegasus as Navarre watches in fear and disgust. Wrys had to heal her, as the lower thief had just found out that Twitter users have pointlessly canceled their favorite content creator, making him rage at this generation. Seeing Catria as someone who probably uses Twitter, Wrys assumes she'll be targeted.

Wrys the kinda dude who'd teleport behind you not with the rewarp staff, but with his beefy legs. They call him the Quickster.

Marth sighs as he sees Samto laugh while repeatedly shooting thieves. He considers asking the funny man to shoot him next.

The reason he's so slow right now is because of how much he loves to reload during a battle. But don't worry. He'll get a 2nd gun eventually.

I can't believe I almost failed to get the scorpio orb. It's usually not that hard for me. Here, I literally had to rig a Navarre crit. Don't worry, I used a save circle. But that's not the sad part.

I forgot about hammerne! Again! Why is it Malicia only!? That's stupid! There's no reason it should be exclusice! It doesn't run in family bloodline. Malicia is just an apprentice! Wrys is experienced! He has B in staves! This is just a bad choice of the game's part. With so many units, the game basically promotes always using new ones, but then is basically demanding that you always keep Malicia because of this freaking staff! It's too helpful to say no to! In old Mystery, it sort of worked out, since rescue was exclusive to Yumina, making the two early game healers special in their own way. You had a choice on which to get if you don't plan on using both. Wrys wasn't in book 2. Really, there's not many healers to begin with. But here, you have so many options! And rescue is no longer personal! But hammerne? Naaah, keep it locked to unfun land. Now I either have to restart or just say bye to rescue strats until chapter 16! And you know what? I don't want to restart. I had to rig crits to get this far with the treasure. Bah! What nonsense!

On turn 5, Cord was presented with a dilemma. There are two thieves. One has a master seal. The other has a bullion. Which do you recover? I can't get both. I don't have enough units. Cord thought long and hard about it, until Catria just attacked the top thief, making them the only reasonable target. Theoretically, I coulda abused save states to rig both hits on this thief with a hand axe and then rig a javelin crit on the other, but that sounds like a nightmare, and at that point, would outright be cheating. Given my team setup, I'm pretty sure the game is punishing me, and I don't deserve all rewards. In other words, it's all your fault. How could you do this to me?

The first armor knight isn't an issue, but the 2nd one has a killer lance. That's kinda scary. But maybe the first armor will attack Bord instead.

A gamer who hasn't seen sunlight in years bursts out of his gaming fort when he spots one of Minerva's 3 GirlGamers, only to immediately die from 2 javelins to their retinas.

Not only does she dodge, but she also lands a crit. These are the gaming skills I was referring to. Her CS: GO sweat tactics really shine when under IRL stress. 

Okay, no one likes a tryhard. Marth doesn't even like gamers! 

Astram, out of boredom, started bullying the gamers inside the forts, telling them to touch grass. They quickly head to the forest to do so. That way, they can swiftly return in time to watch the Game Awards that they know they'll be disappointed by. 

Unfortunately, your mother.

"This 'ere forest is like my 2nd home. Chopped wood here all the time. They call me Oak Obliterator!"

The armor knight couldn't stop freaking out, yelling "Minecraft Minecraft!". The knight dies of a heart attack, unable to stop laughing at the realization that he was in a game the entire time.

I wish I had a sun festival right now.

I wish I had a magic growth right now.

I'm surprised Bord landed a hit. Pretty sure they're a sword unit on a forest tile.

Wow. I have not been hyping up Warren enough. He's a solid unit. He definitely gets strength. With the proper forges, he's a good candidate for OHKO'ing wyverns. He has a solid strength growth and his defense isn't too bad. This one's less tanky than my last one, but a bit faster. He won't double for a while, but I think it's worth it if you need a bow unit in the early game that isn't Ryan or a reclassed Draug/Luke. Draug is more fun as a pirate to me anyways, and Luke can pull off most classes if you train him in the prologue. Of course, he's got decent availability, and he can become an archer to increase speed growth if you want more speed on him later on when you have pretty good strength and can afford the trade offs. Low luck isn't TOO bad, since hunters tend to avoid combat, but I do think it hinders him being a slightly tanky bow unit. From personal experience, I think Ryan pulls off defense more, but Warren is a nice alternative if you were dumping all the xp to Kris. Those are my two cents on Warren. Fun unit. Mostly reliable. Strong. And most importantly, he has a headband. That's cool. Underrated unit.

I used a rainbow potion on Bord, since I want him to not get doubled by cavs that sometimes spawn with 12 speed, and it can give Bord enough might to OHKO the knights.

You know, I gave Matthis a potion to let him not get doubled by thieves and have crazy defense, but he barely fought at all this chapter. I'm not very smart.

"Merry Christmas you filthy animal"'

At least my Marth's still decent. What are your thoughts on New Mystery Marth as a unit? Just curious.

"I've done some fine reconstruction back in the day with my trusty hammer. They Bord the Builder!"

The enemy's face was then reconstructed to resemble a Picasso-like face. Artists would then discover this corpse and hang it on a museum. Children enjoyed poking it.

I remember a conversation in RD about two stats. Strength and skill. Boyd believes that strength is everything. What's the point of attacking and landing multiple hits if you don't even kill the enemy? 4*2? Get outta here. Skill on the other hand, doesn't give you any extra punch or speed, but you can't neglect it. You'll just miss every hit. Bord? He knows what's up. He has both. Why trade one for the other? He's surprisingly accurate for a fighter. Bord is based.

You can't stop him. Yubishop wishes he had Bord's muscles.

By turn 13, the enemies are mostly all dead. The squad begins heading up while a few remain behind to explore a distant cave, wondering what the new cave update looks like. I also just realized that these guys are called ruffians. That's funny.

Oh sweet Jesus. Skill! At last! 

Realizing that he can only help so much in this state. Wrys decides that he must channel his inner strength, even if it comes at a consequence. He can't keep using staves to save his friends. One of these days, he'll use his last physic, and he'll lose an ally when they needed him most. It's time he took matters into his own hands.

There it is. Double digit magic. Now he can put his speed to good use. He unleashes his ability to use tomes once more, something he'd never thought he'd have to do again. 

As it turns out, this was no ordinary cave. It was the dragon's gate, and Catria accidentally summoned FE7's final boss. 

"You. Defeat me? Laughable!"

What took an entire journey's worth of xp for Eliwood and his amigops to defeat with the help of Gotoh 2 is immediately struck down by Bord.

It's almost beautiful to see Bord easily take down the enemy type that killed him in the last PMU. He's come far.

Oh. I guess Wrys didn't need to worry about healing after all. 

I also just realized that I don't get Frost until chapter 18.I seriously have to go THAT long without a 2nd healer? I see how it is. Eh. Could be worse. Roshea had 1 magic for all of his unpromoted phase in SD, and I didn't promote Cain for a long time. I'll live.

So I wanted to weaken the boss with Cord, but I kept missing. So many turns went by. No one else in my team stood a chance except Catria, but she was with the dragon for a while. By the time she arrived, Cord got a crit and decapitated poor Dahl. I couldn't even screenshot his stats. Now how will I talk about his lore with his trusty levin sword that he passes down to Robin?

Okay

Baiting the heroes on the last turn is a tradition. You can't NOT do it. Who can resist calling them slurs that would get you canceled in seconds, so you can look at them in eyes as your sword impales their heart and the life of their eyes fade away as you look at them in superiority, knowing you were right about whatever awful thing you called them? Not Matthis! 

They can't even 1RKO him. Some heroes they are.

Samto approaches the dying hero. The hero looks right at Samto in fear. He pulls the trigger, only for a flag to come out, labeled "BANG". The hero died of humiliation.

The other heroes found it so funny that they couldn't stop laughing, giving his team enough time to run away.

I can't believe I lost my rescue staff. Fricken thieves man. Merric's gonna be a pain to recriut.

Next time...

Spoiler

............

 

Edited January 29, 2022 by Shaky Jones

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

 29 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Glad you found something worth the end of the tunnel that is FE7. Everytime I pick it up, I think to myself, "I could be playing Last Promise".

Hahahah... I can relate, I felt pretty much the same thing during the entire run. Except it was Sword of Heaven and Earth instead of TLP for me. TLP is too different to evoke want of replacement, it's its own beast. Meanwhile, I've always described SoHaE as "GBAFE but good," since it doesn't do anything too out of this world like other hacks I've played - it's just a great take on the GBAFE formula that almost feels like it could be the fourth GBAFE It doesn't because it's too good to be made by IntSys lololololo.

Ended up going ahead and replaying SoHaE immediately after my FE7 run. It's really is so much better, it's not even funny.

29 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

My only motivation will probably be Will and maybe Bartre.

Good luck. They both turned out pretty well for me, but... well, unfortunately, once Serra promoted, my team was rated based on whether or not they were Serra. Wil and Bartre were not Serra, so as good as they were by their own standards, it wasn't enough.

31 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Now I wish I could name generic units and call one of them Hernando, just to honor the non existent character that was unjustly thrown aside.

#JusticeForHernando

31 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I mean, I often just skip the map with rescue strats, but that usually only works with Draco Kris, which I don't have here.

I wish I'd allow myself to do rescue strats here, but rescue uses are on high demand and hammerne requires Malicia to be deployed.

32 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord could get Wrys to dress up as Santa

Now there's an image.

But why let it remain a mere image?

Here it is. Now it is reality. In the form of... uh, an image.

41 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Feena attempts to seduce Navarra.

Ah yes, I too remember the scene where Feena just casually attempted to seduce the entire population of a region of Spain.

(In Spanish the spelling is Navarra. Apparently in English it's translated to Navarre. The joke works on multiple levels!)

41 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

RIP

Feena (1994-2010)

"You just HAD to be one of THOSE types!"

And she failed so hard that she literally died of embarrassment. Alas, poor Feena. Such a tragedy.

42 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

So Catria has plenty of stat buffs. Would a good unit require that? No. Bad unit. Replace!

I agree wholeheartedly.

44 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Samto however, ain't playing games.

That's an... interesting bow name.

44 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

you could get by without it given your team setup...that I can't control because I was only given one flier!

Too bad. Ruben's Memes are more important than such meaningless notions as viability.

45 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

He'd rather be at home with Jeorge, celebrating the holidays. 

As opposed to his girlfriend? Tsk, tsk. Some shenanigans going on here. Unless they're in an open relationship?

46 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wrys the kinda dude who'd teleport behind you not with the rewarp staff, but with his beefy legs. They call him the Quickster.

Jesus fucking Christ.

46 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I forgot about hammerne! Again! Why is it Malicia only!? That's stupid! There's no reason it should be exclusice! It doesn't run in family bloodline. Malicia is just an apprentice! Wrys is experienced! He has B in staves! This is just a bad choice of the game's part. With so many units, the game basically promotes always using new ones, but then is basically demanding that you always keep Malicia because of this freaking staff!

Yeah, I agree. This has always seemed pretty lame to me. It's a big part of why I end up not even touching the thing in most of my runs. It requires fielding Malicia and that goes against my principles.

47 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Okay, no one likes a tryhard. Marth doesn't even like gamers!

Too true. To bench hell with this chick! She's probably using hax, too, the filthy heathen.

48 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Unfortunately, your mother.

That's so hilarious that your mother.

49 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

The armor knight couldn't stop freaking out, yelling "Minecraft Minecraft!". The knight dies of a heart attack, unable to stop laughing at the realization that he was in a game the entire time.

Is he Hernando's brother? Fernando? Yeah, let's go with that. Poor Fernando. Unable to handle a reality all too cruel.

49 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I wish I had a sun festival right now.

Ahahahahahah!

Oh, that's a good one. Sun festal* actually, but still, you're right. We should all stop and take a moment to praise the sun right about now.

50 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wow. I have not been hyping up Warren enough. He's a solid unit.

Solid? He's amazing. Gonna cap strength before promotion at this rate.

50 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I remember a conversation in RD about two stats. Strength and skill. Boyd believes that strength is everything. What's the point of attacking and landing multiple hits if you don't even kill the enemy? 4*2? Get outta here. Skill on the other hand, doesn't give you any extra punch or speed, but you can't neglect it. You'll just miss every hit. Bord? He knows what's up. He has both. Why trade one for the other? He's surprisingly accurate for a fighter. Bord is based.

Yes, let's ignore the glaring hole in Bord's statsheet.

Which Yubello has covered.

Because Yubello is more based.

53 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh sweet Jesus. Skill! At last! 

Also lowkey insane defense. Wow.

Still, I do find it pretty hilarious that we've gotten to the point where you're unironically celebrating a skill level.

53 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Realizing that he can only help so much in this state. Wrys decides that he must channel his inner strength, even if it comes at a consequence. He can't keep using staves to save his friends. One of these days, he'll use his last physic, and he'll lose an ally when they needed him most. It's time he took matters into his own hands.

Is this...?

53 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ohoho, it is...!

53 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

There it is. Double digit magic. Now he can put his speed to good use. He unleashes his ability to use tomes once more, something he'd never thought he'd have to do again. 

It's over for the enemy. The Wrysening has begun.

55 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

"You. Defeat me? Laughable!"

The audio for that line was a bit botched up. I always thought he said "You? Defeat me? Laugh!", which ruined an otherwise pretty awesome line.

56 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

What took an entire journey's worth of xp for Eliwood and his amigops to defeat with the help of Gotoh 2 is immediately struck down by Bord.

To be fair, Eliwood and his friends are pretty pathetic. Just consider that Hector gets brought down by FE6 manaketes, of all things. Those things are so shit, it hurts! They were so lucky that Serra left Ostia to make Erk into her slave for all time.

57 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I also just realized that I don't get Frost until chapter 18.I seriously have to go THAT long without a 2nd healer?

Yes. Then you'll appreciate Frost more when he arrives.

57 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord got a crit and decapitated poor Dahl. I couldn't even screenshot his stats. Now how will I talk about his lore with his trusty levin sword that he passes down to Robin?

Murderer.

58 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I can't believe I lost my rescue staff. Fricken thieves man. Merric's gonna be a pain to recriut.

Is he even going to be possible? Unless you're willing to have him defeat Elrean, he'll have to face a crit chance every turn.

59 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

............

The virgin Worst Unit In FE12 vs the chad Zephiel Killer. Yes, I'm bringing up the hack again. What are you gonna do about it?