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FE12 Maniac PMU: The Funky Sequel


Shaky Jones
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8 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Then, if I end up being extremely miserable, I can make you feel terrible about it.

Oh? I enjoy misery, especially if it´s not mine.

8 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

You might see it as a joke. I see it as a challenge.

Common FE wisdom dictates that Bantu needs all but a pair of boots to be good. 

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11 minutes ago, Imuabicus said:

Oh? I enjoy misery, especially if it´s not mine.

I'll go ahead and assume this means you're ok with the decision change. I mean, there's not much worse for misery than Bantu. I already have Astram. Besides, I'm sure adding Yubello in place of Frey would make Ruben a very happy boi. 

16 minutes ago, Imuabicus said:

Common FE wisdom dictates that Bantu needs all but a pair of boots to be good. 

Ok. Is this an inside joke within some FETuber or group? Is this actually a common meme? I gotta be in da know! Or maybe this is exclusively your thing. If so, I'd suggest copyrighted it. On the .012% chance someone gives Bantu boots, you sue them for all their money, or amiibos. 

You're telling me to give Bantu the boots in this run...aren't you? Welp. Guess I dont got a dancer, and Marth boots is more boring than a month's worth of 3H auxiliary battles. I'll actually consider it, regardless of whether you mean it or not. 

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8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The only interesting thing that really comes out of him character wise is him knowing Catria, but they don't really explain that. I can only assume it's a BSFE thing, but I wish there was more to it.

Actually, no. Warren does not appear in BSFE at all, or in New Mystery's DLC chapters for that matter. The Catria thing is just a weird way to expedite his recruitment. They could've elaborated on it in supports, maybe even give him one with Catria, but they just... didn't.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

In my TLP run, I actually got his stats high enough to actually fight Cid in 5x. That was a crazy thing to experience. I did end up rigging hits in the end, since he's way too dodgy, and I actually landed the final blow with Shon. Twas a great day for Shaky Jones' FE accomplishments.

Damn, way to go! I've played TLP a few times, and only in my latest run did I finally manage to kill the Gold Halberdier. Then I gave the boots to Kevin, I mean, who else?

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I am alone in this path of Cord posting. I need more people in the Cord Fan Club. How could anyone forget his bandana. It's like forgetting Tomas's silly hair or his recruitment in chapter 17. It just doesn't happen!

Forgive me for my sins.

Look I'm a Lot fan, we're destined to be enemies

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ok, so hear me out. I'm considering dropping Frey for a Yubello pick for you.

I mean I like Frey too but

YES

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

If this is alright with everyone, do you want Warrior Yubello, Berserker, or something else?

In my lunatic run, I used both warrior and berserker, depending on what suited the situation best. I will allow you to pick which one you like best. I kinda want to let you have draco as well, but tiny armored man on a dragon just isn't as funny as Musclebello. So keep him an axe infantry.

That being said, definitely train him as a fighter till promotion. Change him to pirate if his speed lags behind, but while pirate has the better speed growth, fighter has better everything else, soooo yeah. It may require a bit of luck, especially since you won't be giving him the growth drop like I did, but if his defense picks up quickly (40% growth ain't too shabby), he should become quite the asset.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I just realized this would technically be your 4th pick, but you're Señor Misterio Nuevo. I doubt anyone will object. More units really just makes things harder, aka more fun.

I do feel a bit bad about it, but... Well, I want more people to know the hidden greatness of Yubello.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The only way out of this one was violence, because this is Fire Emblem.

We can't all be blessed with non-lethal-beatdown powers as Corrin.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

H4HWt6d.png?1

One turn 1 and Cord and his boys already wiped out most of the brigands. Technically, Marth could've died if all three brigands in range hit him, but Cord has 1 less defense, so he's prioritized. AI exploitation does wonders.

AI mindgames: the bread and butter of New Mystery.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ever since the Est incident, Marth has sworn to never seek a relationship ever again. When the old lady offered a cleric to aide them in return for Marth to go out with said lady, Marth simply wanted to disembowel himself, tired of the life he is forced to live. He walked away without saying a word.

Yes. This is the right call. Fuck Malicia, we've got a much better staffbot coming in a short three chapters.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Nk40s8y.png?1

I'm telling you, these growths come from the fact that I named him Cord. Use Cord yourself, and he'll deliver. 

Ehhh I dunno, my lunatic Yubello had these stats plus a shitton of luck and defense by level 12...

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

zIAweaO.png?1

And here we see the leader of this particular uprising. Cord attempted interrogating them to find out if there was more to this revolt than meets the eye, but Marth quickly had to end the TedTalk when he heard beeping within his armor. Marth threw Cord behind Arran and hid with him. Lorenz explodes in a matter of seconds, and nothing is left.

Ahahahahahahahahahahah

I don't know what I like best, the reference or the fact that they dived behind Arran for cover and he just nonchalantly ate an explosion like it's nothing.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is General Lang's theme

You know, somehow I don't think Lang Cancer deserves this theme.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Big Lang: ".....boy. I may be a stubborn ***hat, but unlike you, I have honor, both for my country, and even my enemies. You will die from the blade of one of my soldiers, or it will be by own hand. Unfortuntely, Lorenz was determined to end the war quickly, to end the bloodshed as fast as possible. I will have to make sure to bring his armor home to his family personally..."

Marth: "....Damn. He's based"

It was at this point that the children came out of the house. They were immediately swayed by the 10 points of charisma Big Lang had, and they asked to follow him. 

Big Lang: "Who am I to say no to children who deserve better than to be victims in all of this? Cord, we will meet again. But don't worry. They also call me Santa, so I left a gift for you. You'll have to go to Macedon to find out what it is. Or don't! You can sit like a baby and wait for their nation to bombard your front door on Christmas day. That'd be a funny way to lose everything you once loved. Gamers! Bwahahhaha!!"

Lang leaves with Yumina and Yubello.

Cord: "Mark my words. I will end you Big Lang"

...Okay, fine, maybe this take on Lang Cancer does deserve the theme...

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

lyCpv8G.png?1

(For context, Macedon has been established to be the country of gamers.)

I love how done with everything Marth looks in every screenshot. Did you do that on purpose?

 

5 hours ago, Imuabicus said:

Oh. erm... Telling you to use Bantu was a sort of joke, a bad one as i see now.

In the spriti of Bantu so to say.

The spirit of Bantu is the spirit of the run. Do it. Allow the change. Do it now!

5 hours ago, Imuabicus said:

Oh? I enjoy misery, especially if it´s not mine.

Yes! Just like that! You can do it!

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'll go ahead and assume this means you're ok with the decision change. I mean, there's not much worse for misery than Bantu. I already have Astram. Besides, I'm sure adding Yubello in place of Frey would make Ruben a very happy boi. 

Shame about Frey, but... ehh we've got Belf already.

Let's fucking go.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You're telling me to give Bantu the boots in this run...aren't you?

I support Imuabicus here. Dew it.

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6 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You might see it as a joke. I see it as a challenge. Come onnn. It'll be funny. Then, if I end up being extremely miserable, I can make you feel terrible about it. We'll invent a day called "why oh why did Imuabicus ask for Bantu?", where I cry at a poster of Bantu for 40 minutes and upload that.

Really, I kinda just want an excuse to use Yubello, and Bantu would make for good content.

I don't know about this. Trading a guy's pick (or asking him to trade his pick for a specific other pick) seems a bit against the spirit of the run.

I mean, not really my call, Imuabicus can do whatever he wants with his picks.

5 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ok. Is this an inside joke within some FETuber or group? Is this actually a common meme? I gotta be in da know!

The joke is that movement is the best stat, so Bantu will be better than everyone else if he can suck two tiles further ahead than normal.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, no. Warren does not appear in BSFE at all, or in New Mystery's DLC chapters for that matter. The Catria thing is just a weird way to expedite his recruitment. They could've elaborated on it in supports, maybe even give him one with Catria, but they just... didn't.

Perhaps Warren is a necromancer in this timeline, given that Catria is dead.

I shall write this support to satisfy my innate need to produce fanfiction.

40 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Look I'm a Lot fan, we're destined to be enemies

Seems like natural allies to me- I like both.

 

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13 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

I don't know about this. Trading a guy's pick (or asking him to trade his pick for a specific other pick) seems a bit against the spirit of the run.

A bit, yes, but don't deny that you want to see Bantu in the team.

14 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Seems like natural allies to me- I like both.

Heh... Fair point.

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13 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A bit, yes, but don't deny that you want to see Bantu in the team.

The fact that it's Bantu of all people is already a punishment in itself for partially breaking the idea of a PMU. Besides, it was technically his first idea for a pick, not something I chose for myself, so I think it's fair enough.

28 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

The joke is that movement is the best stat, so Bantu will be better than everyone else if he can suck two tiles further ahead than normal

Because that'll definitely save his 4 base speed...

33 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Perhaps Warren is a necromancer in this timeline, given that Catria is dead.

I got ideas. Many of which won't be immediately explained, but Catria isn't just back for the sake of it. If only Warren was a dark mage, but he seems too kind for that fate.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes. This is the right call. Fuck Malicia, we've got a much better staffbot coming in a short three chapters.

I just realized how much of a nightmare it's going to be to do chapter 3 with only 5 units, no healer, and I have to deal with the Matthis recruitment shenanigan.  Fun.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't know what I like best, the reference or the fact that they dived behind Arran for cover and he just nonchalantly ate an explosion like it's nothing.

How could you hurt General Arran? Man tanks like a beast in maniac. 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

.Okay, fine, maybe this take on Lang Cancer does deserve the theme...

Big Lang Cancer persuades once again...

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I love how done with everything Marth looks in every screenshot. Did you do that on purpose?

Quite the relatable character, isn't he?

Yes, I do spend minutes pausing for the right moment to see this Marth. It's beautiful. It's not for every Marth shot though. Just for cringe. Which is a lot.

Normally, I place replies before starting a new chapter, but I got finals, so there probably won't be one today. Tomorrow for sure though. 

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15 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:
50 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

The joke is that movement is the best stat, so Bantu will be better than everyone else if he can suck two tiles further ahead than normal

Because that'll definitely save his 4 base speed...

If movement isn´t solving your issues, you simply don´t have enough of it. Which implies at least two or more boots for Bantu.

Just imagine all the opportunities he´ll have to... do something. 

Speed is temporary, Movement is eternal.

6 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'll go ahead and assume this means you're ok with the decision change.

Sorry if late, sure I´m okay with it. Again, I meant it when I said Bantu was a joke-suggestion.

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Finally past the prologue I see. Also, you talking about Macedonia reminded me of Minerva, whom I should've asked for. Oh well, too late now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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On 12/15/2021 at 6:05 AM, Imuabicus said:

Sorry if late, sure I´m okay with it. Again, I meant it when I said Bantu was a joke-suggestion

This LP is a joke, and the drafts are the punchline, so it's really the best kind of pick.

23 hours ago, FlyingKitsune said:

Finally past the prologue I see. Also, you talking about Macedonia reminded me of Minerva, whom I should've asked for. Oh well, too late now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well, with all the axe units I got, it's a good thing I don't have another person using up that Hauteclere. Besides, I'm sure you'll get enough enjoyment out of whatever comes out of Astram's performance. 

14 hours ago, eclipse said:

The Tomas fan club grows!  Whee~!

If I was Marth, I'd freak out too if some old lady offered me her "well she's actually 15 years old" granddaughter to me.

I wonder how club meetings work. You just sit still and shoot arrows at food on each others head or something.

I'd mainly freak out for finding out that this random house just so happens to have the one other girl who can use hammerne.

Chapter 2: MaceCon

Spoiler

Now at Macedon once more, Cord and co head for basically any major sources of an upcoming army that may be preparing to overthrow Cord Castle. With such low numbers, it was difficult for the enemies to track them down as they cut through small fortresses one by one. By fortresses, I mean gamer bunkers. They're not that hard to sneak up to. The real threat of them are their numbers, especially now that it's their annual convention, MaceCon. Luckily, this means most other areas are lacking in numbers, since MaceCon resides in the capital. Right now, Cord's in the Macedon Paper Farm, aka a Forrest. They're used to make gaming manuals, guides, anniversary artbooks, etc. By chopping them all down and wiping out the planters, they'll lose a lot of motivation, especially now with all the new releases and the upcoming Binding Blade 20th anniversary. Marth thought this would've been a very simple mission.

lDjXrrS.png?1

Marth is dangerously close to reaching his limits.

Catria: "Prince Marth! What brings you here at Macedon?"

Marth" "......."

Catria: "Well, I'm glad you're here anyways. It gets pretty lonely here, especially with Palla gone...and Est's nowhere to be seen."

Marth: "Oh no...Est...whatever will we doo..."

Catria: "....you suck sometimes, you know that?"

Marth: "You're not real"

Catria: "Wha-how rude! I just wanted to open up a bit...Not that I was planning on going anywhere beyond that!"

Marth: "I really don't care"

Unfortunately for Marth, Catria ALSO has a crush on him. Words cannot describe how much suffering he is enduring. Rather than demand an explanation, he just leaves.

Catria: "H-Hey! Get back here! You're invading Macedonian property! Soo uhh, I'm placing you under my supervision!"

Catria has joined your party without your consent

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The army heads west, and Marth basically just ran away from Catria as far as possible. She tried to follow, but another person caught her attention.

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Among these hunters was a man named Warren, who Catria seemed to be familiar with, but she didn't seem to happy to see.

ejXaNvF.png?1

Catria: "You need to stop stalking me! That's just creepy!"

Warren: "I can't. I promised I'd protect you."

Catria: "Stop saying that! I don't know you! Just leave me alone! I can take care of myself"

Warren: "I know you're a capable fighter....but..."

Warren tries to hold back tears. This isn't the first time this encounter happened, so Catria can somewhat tell that something weird is going on, but she doesn't really want to be a part of it, so she just tries to push him away. While creeped out, she can't help but feel bad for him, so she rarely insulted him. 

Catria: Look. I'll be fine, ok? I have these guys now. I'll follow them instead. It's not like Minerva's around here anyways. I don't care about these gamers. So..yknow..don't worry about me, alright?"

Warren: "I will follow them then. They look like they need more soldiers anyways"

Catria: "Oh for f-, you gotta sto...ok fine! I guess it's fine, kinda. it's kinda sweet to have someone always watching my back in an odd way" "But you better not get in my way, you hear!?"

Warren joins the CK crew

Oh yeah, about that thief, I had a 53% hit rate against them, and I had to land both hits. I was certain I had to reset, but then my man lands a crit. Good show.

ub7LZZr.png?1

Meanwhile, Marth seeks out death by sprinting to a herd of soldiers, but he kills all of them without trouble.

I used my first rainbow potion on him, so he could tank.

PzSmw6L.png?1

He was at least able to feel a bit of relief from venting through his sword hand. It's also comforting to know that there are now less toxic gamers to deal with when you enter that vc lobby.

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You know "We like Ike!"? What's the Marth equivalent? Based Darth Marth? Behold, Marth's Sparth! Ehh, that's all I got.

pOhwTWR.png?1

You see Catria? He just cares. You woulda died otherwise!

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Some cavs arrive the next turn, but they're not too much trouble. Marth obliterates the eastern horse.

ion2miM.png?1

You can't stop this man!

JVudR4b.png?1

By turn 6 (or 7?), I set up my units for the 3 wyverns above. It was a little scary deciding how many vulneraries to use first, since I won't have big guy with me until 3x. Cord smacks the western gamer so hard that he fell off his wyvern and broke his elbow, making them cry as they could no longer game until it healed. 

3oTrq8z.png?2

Catria: "I'm' about to level up, and you look like just enough exp!" *bonk* "Hahah! Oh I've always wanted to say that, I hope Marth noticed!"

Marth: "What I done to deserve this..."

k2E4bDu.png?1

The last of the 3 was Rumel, the man in charge of shipping the trees to the crafting table building to make paper of these.

While Minecraft technically uses bamboo, the trees of Macedon were pretty similar to those in texture, so they accepted the reference

There was nothing to say about their achievements, other than them being insistent on Little Mac being a based fighter in Smash, which Warren found to be cringe.

A7X7LDe.png?1

With a trade for Arran's iron bow for accuracy, Warren 360 no scopes Rumel, gaining Cord's respect, despite his lack of care for the gaming world.

Rw1rS8H.png?1

Warren isn't among Cord or Darros tier for me, but I like him. Fun change of pace if you want to try out different units. 

88ioDAe.png?1

I believe I spent 2 turns healing before pulling the wyverns, so I probably coulda been a bit faster, but at least it's single digit.

Cord: Thank gods that's over. Come on guys, we gotta head t-WHAT THE HELL!?"

Catria: "Gwak! Why does everyone keep yelling at me!?"

Arran: "Hey, I'm chillin"

Cord: "Who the- how di- what th- I thoug- arrgh! Forget it! I hate this place!"

Marth: "Just drink your problems away milord...I'm still here after all so it hasn't failed me yet."

Next time

Spoiler

yuqxCKJ.png?1

The Genealogy Experience. 

 

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50 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Marth: "You're not real"

I have uncovered the plot twist. This Catria is not real, but a body pillow magically animated to imitate the original Catria, created by Macedon's chief gamer scientists to solve their incel problem.

50 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Catria has joined your party without your consent

I feel like I've seen this trope before.

52 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

You know "We like Ike!"? What's the Marth equivalent? Based Darth Marth? Behold, Marth's Sparth! Ehh, that's all I got.

We Hearth Marth.

54 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Warren joins the CK crew

HUH!

55 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

While Minecraft technically uses bamboo, the trees of Macedon were pretty similar to those in texture, so they accepted the reference

wait what

why would minecraft do that

thats not it works

50 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Unfortunately for Marth, Catria ALSO has a crush on him. Words cannot describe how much suffering he is enduring. Rather than demand an explanation, he just leaves.

56 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Marth: "Just drink your problems away milord...I'm still here after all so it hasn't failed me yet."

Poor Mars. His sufferings canonically cannot be expressed with words, which leads me to believe that thots make life harder than your wife betraying you and murdering your friends.

56 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

The Genealogy Experience Requiem 

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 19 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

lDjXrrS.png?1

Marth is dangerously close to reaching his limits.

I am generally more of a fan of his Shadow Dragon portrait. I love how he looks permanently pissed there. But I have to admit, his mid-blink in FE12 is glorious.

19 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Catria: "You need to stop stalking me! That's just creepy!"

Warren: "I can't. I promised I'd protect you."

Catria: "Stop saying that! I don't know you! Just leave me alone! I can take care of myself"

Warren: "I know you're a capable fighter....but..."

Warren tries to hold back tears. This isn't the first time this encounter happened, so Catria can somewhat tell that something weird is going on, but she doesn't really want to be a part of it, so she just tries to push him away. While creeped out, she can't help but feel bad for him, so she rarely insulted him. 

Hoo boy. I smell a plot twist in the making.

19 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

wpftVbd.png?1

You know "We like Ike!"? What's the Marth equivalent? Based Darth Marth? Behold, Marth's Sparth! Ehh, that's all I got.

Marth takes a bath? In blood, you know.

19 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

pOhwTWR.png?1

You see Catria? He just cares. You woulda died otherwise!

This screenshot physically hurts me. 65%? Might as well be 0. How could you take such a risk, Jones!?

19 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

k2E4bDu.png?1

The last of the 3 was Rumel, the man in charge of shipping the trees to the crafting table building to make paper of these.

I wish I could think of something to say about this guy. For as much as I love New Mystery, it has one of the weakest bunches of bossmen in the series. Like, every other game has at least one or two dudes that's notorious for memes or funny dialogue or a cool design or something. This one? Half the maps don't even have bossmen, and the ones that do exist are all so... Eugh. How disappointing.

19 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

With a trade for Arran's iron bow for accuracy, Warren 360 no scopes Rumel, gaining Cord's respect, despite his lack of care for the gaming world.

Rw1rS8H.png?1

Warren isn't among Cord or Darros tier for me, but I like him. Fun change of pace if you want to try out different units. 

He's just kinda there. I like his color palette. Bit questionable stat-wise, but he joins early enough that he can be made to work without much trouble. He really appreciates all those dracos in his join chapter and the next.

19 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Cord: Thank gods that's over. Come on guys, we gotta head t-WHAT THE HELL!?"

Catria: "Gwak! Why does everyone keep yelling at me!?"

Arran: "Hey, I'm chillin"

Arran is the voice of reason of this team. It's truly going to be such a tragedy when he goes...

 

18 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

wait what

why would minecraft do that

thats not it works

To be completely honest, Minecraft doesn't use bamboo, but rather sugar cane for paper.

18 hours ago, Imuabicus said:

...... is he high, diappointed, mad or just done?

Healthy mix of all?

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On 12/16/2021 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I have uncovered the plot twist. This Catria is not real, but a body pillow magically animated to imitate the original Catria, created by Macedon's chief gamer scientists to solve their incel problem.

...thanks for trying!

why must you make me imagine that?

On 12/16/2021 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

We Hearth Marth.

Sure. Let's go with that.

On 12/16/2021 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Poor Mars. His sufferings canonically cannot be expressed with words, which leads me to believe that thots make life harder than your wife betraying you and murdering your friends.

Pobre Marth

On 12/17/2021 at 5:22 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I am generally more of a fan of his Shadow Dragon portrait. I love how he looks permanently pissed there. But I have to admit, his mid-blink in FE12 is glorious.

Yeah, the FE11 portrait is cooler. But man, does Marth's soul-less expression make him 5x better for me. Everyone technically also has one, but Marth pulls it off the best, even in FE11.

On 12/17/2021 at 5:22 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

This screenshot physically hurts me. 65%? Might as well be 0. How could you take such a risk, Jones!?

Hey come on now. I have 5 people in the map, 1 one of which went off to hopefully die in battle. Not like I had any other way out of this. Normally, I don't take any risks, considering how extremely unlucky I get with hit rates, but this map is super short, so punishment is minimal. But you know what? Just for you, I'll be twice as risky. 

On 12/17/2021 at 5:22 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I wish I could think of something to say about this guy. For as much as I love New Mystery, it has one of the weakest bunches of bossmen in the series. Like, every other game has at least one or two dudes that's notorious for memes or funny dialogue or a cool design or something. This one? Half the maps don't even have bossmen, and the ones that do exist are all so... Eugh. How disappointing.

It's why I try to make up some stupid thing for them. Hopefully that way, I'll have their names memorized to brag about it, and only 2 people will care.

On 12/17/2021 at 5:22 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

To be completely honest, Minecraft doesn't use bamboo, but rather sugar cane for paper.

Ah right. I forget those are separate things in the game. Well, you you get the idea. 

On 12/16/2021 at 11:16 AM, Imuabicus said:

...... is he high, diappointed, mad or just done?

 

On 12/17/2021 at 5:22 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Healthy mix of all?

Yes

Chapter 3: The Great Revival

Spoiler

After much traversing, Cord and friends arrive to the Macedon GameStop. The leader of this area is the CEO themselves, Rucke. If they fall in battle, and they destroy the place, the gamers will be distraught, and chaos will soon follow. This will hopefully weaken them enough to where they won't be focused when they assault Cord Castle, or will buy them time to find and defeat Big Lang, possibly ending the rebellion entirely. 

FE3VB3R.png?1

Wow. 1 damage. I hear Ruben and few others like Draco Arran, but I've always used General Arran. That 17 defense Jagen unit is just too sweet of a unit to pass up on. Arran is so versatile. I know people have actually used Swordmaster of sniper Arran and he works pretty well in those too. He's so good, and falling off early is kind of what you expect out of a jagen anyways, so I often like that more than dislike it, especially with the fact that the poor guy has his disease and the whole A support thing. I'm sure Draco Arran is great too, but I've used probably every other one. Maybe one day.

DXdvNln.png?1

Marth spots a village and visits it out of a completionist mindset. In this town was some furry yellow guy who started ranting. They said so many obscenities that Marth slowly backed away from the town. The thing called Marth a ******* and threw a key at his face. It seemed to be the key to the bridge, so this was really a save. Who actually takes the long way?

On the same turn, a highly decorated wyvern with a strange man flew to the throne room, Cord couldn't tell who they were from a distance, but they seemed to be super cringe.

CXeg4UV.png?1

Rucke: "Oh, I...I thought you were dead."

Michalis: "My death was...greatly exaggerated."

Rucke: "Sir, in your absence, we might have...joined a war, against Cord Castle."

Michalis: "Do you take me for a fool, n00b?"

Rucke: "Not at all Your Epicness!"

Michalis: "I am well aware of this. I have met this "Big Lang" fellow. He is, as my lowly sister would say, based."

Rucke: "Ahh -ahaha yes. But you know the true way of the gamer. Speaking of which, you should head on to the MaceCon area! I'm sure everyone would love to see you retur-"

F6wGGiO.png?1

Rucke: "I...uhh. About that.."

Michalis has had enough of his stalling, and he pulls out a Glock 17

Michalis: "This Gamestop, but I ain't playing games"

Rucke: "I'm sorry! She's gone missing!"

Michalis: "You r33k of f41L. Bring her to me or I will PWN you to the depths of YouTube kids"

Rucke: "We can't find her! Our resources could not locate her anywhere near Macedon, and our soldiers are too busy with MaceCon to care about the search. A-and our war!"

Michalis: "Place everything on hold. Find her...she is late for our yearly Smash Tournament!"

Rucke: "....that's the rush?"

Michalis is silent. He jumps to his wyvern, flies around the center mountain, jumps off while twirling repeatedly, lands and immediately does a 720 spin, then shoots Rucke in the left foot with his eyes closed, preventing him from moving away from the throne.

The other wyverns do a pog face and blast their airhorns, and Michalis heads off. No one dared question his orders. He truly was 1337.

On turn 6, Marth heads to the left village, hoping that either someone will toss him money or put an end to his misery. What he found instead was simply too mcuh.

rbnWsvC.png?1

Marth: "......I need medication"

Bord: "Eh? Cmon lad. Is that how you react to a reunion like this? I had a whole speech ready! But you just look like you don't plan on listening."

Marth: "Get out of my head get out of my head"

Bord: "I'll just...save the talk for everyone else then..."

Bord reluctantly follows Marth

Z2Xkl50.png?1

On turn 8, Arran baits out the cavs with his silver lance. How many lance users will I even have? Ah well, I can always sell them for drill grounds money. 

XZd2gDv.png?1

At the same time, Warren tells Cord that he should try sitting around the trees at this turn, as 3 of the 6 mid-eastern wyverns head down now to their hidden small forest where they talk about waifus from their favorite games. Cord will give them a surprise attack when that happens.

U8uN37c.png?1

Cord is so strong that he 1RKO's wyverns with an iron axe. Who says New Mystery wyverns are too tanky?

ZEdLuKA.png?1

Fighter AU is always a treat. 

There was a 3rd wyvern, but Warren got em good. Didn't screenshot, but there'll be a different example soon.

K28rpIV.png?1

So along with these guys, one wyvern from the west fflies down. Normally, that's manageable, but as is tradition, Bord is slow af, so he gets doubled and 1RKO'd by the guy, meaning I had to block them. The cavs with the draco would kill Catria, so I had to use Arran to kill the cav. Thank goodness for this man's buffness.

OyZzzkq.png?1

Here's the range of the gamer. I wonder if I just need to feed kills, or should I buy a lunatic store speedwing to make him better in the early game?

Pwfqz0m.png?1

Headbands are cool. Use units with headbands. 

hueBJ26.png?1

By turn 10, Marth chilling. He nae nae's the cs-go addict while Arran basically falls asleep to the lack of a threat the cavs pose on him.

uiCgpR7.png?1

I know Marth is generally not considered a great unit by any means, but I do at least think he's fun to use for a lord character, even if he can't reclass. I mean, it's the OG!

qxzIRUJ.png?1

Ok so this guy...he's a loser. Dude actually wasted the turn camping. You were supposed to attack Catria, not heal! Who does that? Wimp! Now I have to silver lance ya.

iRYMZtk.png?1

I finally can head north, but here comes the best game design in New Mystery. 

Marth: "Hold on...it can't be!"

Cord: "It is! The mighty Matthis!"

Matthis says nothing. He simply smiles and attacks Catria.

Catria: "WHAT THE **** WAS THAT ABOUT!?"

NTqfLfd.png?1

Catria: "Well...at least I got that."

Cord: "Got what? Ah who cares? Matthis, relax! She's not an enemy this time. I don't know what you're doing here of all places, but we urge you to join us once more!"

Matthis once again says nothing, but now changes his target to Bord. He was still too far for Cord to notice yet, so Cord assumes he's attacking an enemy or random villager again and uses that opportunity to run upwards, hoping that the defeating the boss will arbitrarily end all problems as it usually does.

Marth decides that talking to the man who wants nothing more than to cap his stats repeatedly is pointless. Instead, he orders the team to box him until either he or Cord devised another plan. Luckily, it seemed Matthis was much weaker than in the previous war. He was unsure why, but it's better to just be grateful.

m0DEDib.png?1

I swear New Mystery is a fun game with good map design, just ignore this ok? 

Uxr74Xb.png?1

Based off the last PMU, it might as well be cannon that Matthis likes attacking hunters and archers the most, although it's usually them being cornered.

OIFgywS.png?1

To my knowledge, getting in range of 2 of these wyverns triggers all 3 of them and most of the ones in the center. It's a scary moment for the early game. And now I have to deal with that with half of my standard army! PMU's are the best.

tXPWi9y.png?1

You know, it is a little odd that I like saying Cord is amazing, but this isn't really Cord? Well it's not my fault. No one chose him, and I think I influenced the drafts more than enough. But I still stand with my statement that Cord is good. Regular Cord always gets these growths for me anyways...

9aq8OIO.png?1

Marth's hatred for gamers pulls through when he dodges AND crits. We hearth Marth!...that just sounds weird.

jWpZhVc.png?1

kIbw8JJ.png?1

Marth and Arran take out one wyvern, Warren OHKO's a wyvern because earlier in the map, I forged a steel bow and gave him a rainbow potion. Definitely worth it. Cord uses a hand axe and Catria finishes them off. Originally, Cord would've just taken out the wyvern themselves and Catria would've gone after the wyvern that Marth crit'd on enemy phase.

SX1zJB4.png?1

Damn

X7lVeYi.png?1

While Marth continues to head North to the northernmost village for literally no reason, Cord confronts the Gamestop man himself, Rucke. 

Rucke: "Get the fu-fu-f*** outta my store."

The negotiations were short

Cord basically crits him with the hand axe on enemy phase after the first strike on this phase, so he died before I got to do anything. Shame. I wanted to feed the kill to Bord. He finds him holding some rock thing. He keeps it, since it probably has some great value, given that it has the GREEN TEXT

Eventually (turn 21), Marth arrives at the village.

0NkkFHs.png?1

Julain: "ohh uhh, what's gucci my man? Yeah I know. Why am I here of all places? Easy. Finna rob the whole library of MS5 games and consoles. Imma be strapped with cash when I sell them for 3 times the price! Crazy gamers just can't NOT have their games. They'll get it!"

Marth doesn't care for his schemes, but forced him to follow, hoping to use him as a tribute for Matthis.

zF76uGv.png?1

Turns out, Julian hired Matthis to protect him, which is why Matthis is here. Better to have this guy on your side than against you. Matthis was just trying to have fun, but Julian is a party pooper who orders him to stop. 

Cord: "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to tell ya this for a while Julian. Screw you!"

Julian: Eh!? What's this about?"

Cord: "Rickard sucked! He barely did well in the war against the IRS, and then he just left Cord Castle after everything ended, with all of my old forges!"

Julian: :Ahhh, ahaha...did he now? That silly rascal! Errr, that..has nothing to do with me"

Cord: "Julian...did you make him follow me JUST to rob me blind?"

Julian: "Now I know that sounds bad..."

RIP

Julian (1990-2010)

"Man..."

Without an employer, Matthis simply begins walking away, until Cord asks that Matthis aides them once more, offering him whatever he desires. Mostly just bored, Matthis doesn't ask for money. Instead, he asks that Marth begs and grovels for his help, since he wanted to see how dangerously close Marth is to just snapping.

It was a bad day for his alcohol debt.

jiZvBmu.png?1

One gamer tried to be sneaky and attack while that conversation happened, but Warren immediately noticed, since they were going after Catria, because of course they would.

HWe9qvG.png?1

To the 3 Warren fans out there, I hope this made your day in at least some way.

MEHcXri.png?1

How do you even do this map in under 20 turns? Man this one's slow. Well at least I can justify it here by saying my smaller army made it harder to be aggressive. You also might have noticed I didn't mention Palla, since she's dead. She did fight the top reinforcements though. The rules state that undrafted units can fight however much they need to in order to survive, and Palla is basically surrounded, and I want to recruit all units. Also, she has to kill the thief in turn 3, so Julian can survive and recruit Matthis, so retreating for less combat wasn't an option. I didn't make her do anything else though. She basically stayed up there the entire time. 

Yeah, I spent way too much time not finishing this post. Guess I got lazy and kept getting distracted. Hopefully, that doesn't keep happening. In my defense, Christmas is approaching, so I have been spending more time with others. But darn it, I miss playing this PMU. 

I'll write about Bord and Cord another post. I want this one done already. 3x is super short anyways.

Next time:

Spoiler

NBJRQoH.png?1

Whoa!? A Jagen with good lore!?

 

Edited by Shaky Jones
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56 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Michalis: "This Gamestop, but I ain't playing games"

Rucke: "I'm sorry! She's gone missing!"

Michalis: "You r33k of f41L. Bring her to me or I will PWN you to the depths of YouTube kids"

This writing is great. It's like all the garbo writing tropes executed with masterful finesse.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You know, it is a little odd that I like saying Cord is amazing, but this isn't really Cord?

What do you mean? It says Cord right there on the level up screen.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

GREEN TEXT

>be me

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Whoa!? A Jagen with good lore!?

Like FE6 Marcus?

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Spoiler

 

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yeah, the FE11 portrait is cooler. But man, does Marth's soul-less expression make him 5x better for me. Everyone technically also has one, but Marth pulls it off the best, even in FE11.

 

Yeah, true. His mid blink is utterly glorious.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

But you know what? Just for you, I'll be twice as risky.

Curse you, Jones the Skeleton...!

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's why I try to make up some stupid thing for them. Hopefully that way, I'll have their names memorized to brag about it, and only 2 people will care.

I would care. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could pull it off right now. Let's see... I'll only include irrelevant bossmen, though I'm pretty sure I could pull off a full list of bossmen.

  • Rumel
  • Rucke
  • Guile
  • Toras
  • Lang
  • Dahl
  • Yodel
  • Eibel
  • Willow
  • Nerring

And then from the Chronicles

  • Gouber
  • Ruben (I mean, if I didn't know this one I should be ashamed of myself)
  • Valm
  • Bulzark

Yes, I am neurotic. See, this is the point I was making before. Super tiny list, and they're all so bleh. What a shame, FE12.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wow. 1 damage. I hear Ruben and few others like Draco Arran, but I've always used General Arran.

Me? I know Draco Arran is the optimal choice (and for chapter 3x he's vital), but General Arran is absolutely my favorite way to Arran. I just love watching things plink off of his armor. It's great.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

He's so good, and falling off early is kind of what you expect out of a jagen anyways, so I often like that more than dislike it, especially with the fact that the poor guy has his disease and the whole A support thing.

This is one of the reasons Arran is my favorite Jeigan character. The justification for his Jeiganism is super original, and tragic too.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Who actually takes the long way?

You, Jones. You take the long way. Because you want Matthis.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Rucke: "Oh, I...I thought you were dead."

Michalis: "My death was...greatly exaggerated."

Rucke: "Sir, in your absence, we might have...joined a war, against Cord Castle."

Michalis: "Do you take me for a fool, n00b?"

Rucke: "Not at all Your Epicness!"

Michalis: "I am well aware of this. I have met this "Big Lang" fellow. He is, as my lowly sister would say, based."

I already hate your Michalis.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Michalis has had enough of his stalling, and he pulls out a Glock 17

Jesus, okay, okay! Relax, man, don't take it personally!

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

rbnWsvC.png?1

Marth: "......I need medication"

Bord: "Eh? Cmon lad. Is that how you react to a reunion like this? I had a whole speech ready! But you just look like you don't plan on listening."

Marth: "Get out of my head get out of my head"

Bord: "I'll just...save the talk for everyone else then..."

Bord reluctantly follows Marth

I don't even know how much effort it takes to get all these perfect Marth shots, but it's well worth it. Keep at it, it adds so much to it.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

XZd2gDv.png?1

At the same time, Warren tells Cord that he should try sitting around the trees at this turn, as 3 of the 6 mid-eastern wyverns head down now to their hidden small forest where they talk about waifus from their favorite games. Cord will give them a surprise attack when that happens.

U8uN37c.png?1

Cord is so strong that he 1RKO's wyverns with an iron axe. Who says New Mystery wyverns are too tanky?

I have never seen this way of handling these guys. Usually I just wait for them at the western side of the map and kill them as they come.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

iRYMZtk.png?1

I finally can head north, but here comes the best game design in New Mystery. 

The man.

The myth.

The legend.

Matthis.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

m0DEDib.png?1

I swear New Mystery is a fun game with good map design, just ignore this ok? 

Every FE has its dud map. For New Mystery, here it is. Nobody wants to acknowledge this map's existence, it's okay.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

 

RIP

Julian (1990-2010)

"Man..."

Oof.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Instead, he asks that Marth begs and grovels for his help, since he wanted to see how dangerously close Marth is to just snapping.

Marth takes the bait and attacks.

Matthis:

Thiw3Yyq_o.png

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

MEHcXri.png?1

How do you even do this map in under 20 turns? Man this one's slow.

I will say, I do believe going the long way can be, funnily enough, a bit faster than this. But the map's pace is glacial either way. Not a great map. Oh well.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yeah, I spent way too much time not finishing this post. Guess I got lazy and kept getting distracted. Hopefully, that doesn't keep happening.

It's okay. It happens.

 

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

NBJRQoH.png?1

Whoa!? A Jagen with good lore!?

Arran lore is best lore. Not for nothing is he my favorite character from FE12, and very high among all the characters in the seires. I love this man and his one support, they're brilliant. I'm even putting it out of the spoiler so everyone knows.

22 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Like FE6 Marcus?

FE6 Marcus's lore is that he's old but he's still got it and his growths make him into a fine, fine Oifey that you can use against Murdock and Zephiel and Idun.

Edited by Saint Rubenio
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19 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

This writing is great. It's like all the garbo writing tropes executed with masterful finesse.

Perhaps IS will let me in charge of the inevitable Fates Remake, or Fates 2: "Garon Strikes Back".

19 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

>be me

no no no no no n-

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I would care. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could pull it off right now. Let's see... I'll only include irrelevant bossmen, though I'm pretty sure I could pull off a full list of bossmen.

Come on, Yodel's practically a freebie.

I sure hope I reach that level one day. Perhaps it should be my New Year's resolution.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You, Jones. You take the long way. Because you want Matthis.

Nooo! Boo long way boo! I never take it. It's a poopy route. 

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I already hate your Michalis.

Nyeheheh!

Ahh, that got a chuckle outta me. Glad someone got triggered. It shows that you can't handle his über 1337 skills.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't even know how much effort it takes to get all these perfect Marth shots, but it's well worth it. Keep at it, it adds so much to it.

Sometimes I try it for other characters, but it really just isn't the same. Only Marth pulls it off. Maybe one day someone else will match up to Marth's crippling alcoholism.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I have never seen this way of handling these guys. Usually I just wait for them at the western side of the map and kill them as they come.

Western as in the center? Surely you don't mean taking the...long way?

I will never do the long way. Never.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Every FE has its dud map. For New Mystery, here it is. Nobody wants to acknowledge this map's existence, it's okay.

This map may be boring, but I honestly have a few maps I hate so much more. Mainly 20x. Screw that. Why FoW? I lost Feena in my ironman there. Friggen 500 longbow users in a dark corridor map with a meteor in a game where nobody has res? But I digress. I like FE12 map design a lot for the most part. You got a favorite map? Mine might be chapter 12 on lunatic. Chapter 8 is also a solid map imo. 

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Marth takes the bait and attacks.

Matthis:

Thiw3Yyq_o.png

You just wait for opportunities to show that everywhere, don't you?

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Arran lore is best lore. Not for nothing is he my favorite character from FE12, and very high among all the characters in the series. I love this man and his one support, they're brilliant. I'm even putting it out of the spoiler so everyone knows.

Not Frost? Or Cord? I'm disappointed.

I remember being an inexperienced FE player playing this for the first time, not liking Arran for being a random pick from the last game with awful growths and falling off harder than anyone else. Then I played it for the 2nd time on maniac, saw how helpful he can be with reclassing and I saw the supports. Then after a 3rd playthrough on lunatic, I basically knew all about the series and the jagen archetype, and I just had a huge appreciation for Arran. I'd still say Dagdar is my favorite Jagen, but Arran has to be at least top 3 for me. My thoughts on him really changed over the time I spent getting into FE. 

52 minutes ago, JimmyBeans said:

He's finally here, someone hold me. I'm shaking rn.

I may have plenty of PMU units, but trust me. Bord and Matthis are top priority. Astram is probably a close 3rd. Expect a lot of Bord feeding.

Chapter 3x: The One Who Cannot Fight

Spoiler
Spoiler

They finally decided to leave Macedon, heading back to Cord Castle to plan their next move against Big Lang. However, on their way back, they come across what appeared to be a distress signal (these are made by staves in this world, as real flares and such don't exist in Archanea. Don't be ridiculous!). They followed it, only to find a group of enemies chasing after someone. Knowing that a cleric or curate must've used this, they decide to aide them, as they might hopefully assist them in future battles, at least for some time. 

Bord: "Oh for gods sake! CORD!! I'm right here! Hello!!"

Cord: "Who said tha-......."

Cord immediately became silent. His face grew pale as he saw what seemed to be his long lost companion. He began trembling, but was convinced that this was just another figment of his imagination, as he frequently had these back when he was alone in the time away from Cord Castle. So, he tried swinging his axe at him, but he dodges it and retaliates by bonking him with his hammer, knocking him out briefly.

Bord: "Whazza matter wit you!? Is that how you greet everyone nowadays?"

Cord: "Gah, my head, what was that for? 

He stands up and sees Bord once again.

Cord: "I -...Bord? Is that really you? You're.....you're alive!?"

Bord: "f***ing finally"

Cord: "It can't be! You died! I saw it happen! You're just here to torment me again and again!"

Bord: "Newsflash bucko. Catria also died, but I ain't seeing you complaining bout her!"

Cord: "Well I -......crap, you're right.

Catria: "Yo"u guys are jerks!"

Cord: "But how!? How are you here?

Bord: "Well I dunno about the lass, but I never really died. Come on. I'm Bord! You know me. I don't go down so easily!"

Cord: "You were slain by a dragon! I saw them!"

Bord: "Yes, but did you ever check up on me? Kinda rude of you to leave me hanging there, not gonna lie."

Cord: "We couldn't! There were too many, and we had to stop Medeus."

Bord: "Exactly. The thing was, I just played dead. Sure, I was bleeding immensely. Probably couldn't get back up if I tried, but why would I try? I'd just get striked down again."

Cord: "That's not how that works! We al saw the UI, they obliterated ya!"

Bord: "But there's one thing no one in Archanea accounts for...skills"

Cord: "...what?"

Bord: "Miracle, son. Ol Roshea blessed me with it right before he ran off with Est. He never would've let someone die in front of his eyes. Not after he failed to save Sedgar and Vyland..."

(context: In chapter 24 of the FE11 PMU, Bord, Archer Est, and Bishop Roshea were being chased by a dragon reinforcement, all of them got 1RKO'd, so I had to sacrifice Bord to not get anyone else killed. Since Sedgar and Vyland weren't drafted, it was implied they died trying to protect Hardin in chapter 5.)

Cord: "All this time...you lived through that...and you NEVER TOLD ME!?!?"

Bord: "Well, it's kinda dramatic to go out like that ya know? You were the new king anyways, and you had your other retainers. Besides, faking your own death means no more official papers of you to hold you back from legal issues and such. That's kinda cool, yeah?"

Cord: "....."

Cord strangles Bord, then Bord kicks Cord in the stomach. They proceed to beat each other up for 2 minutes, until they both stop, staring at each other. They both started laughing hysterically.

Bord: "Ahh, it's good to be back!"

Cord: "You always were the meanest sonofa***** Bord..."

Bord has joined your party. The run is saved.

iojHxqT.png?1

Bord's hammer is iconic. We can't have it just have 9 strength. It doesn't display the might of C rank base axes.

XXK2bPQ.png?1

Sure I could've used that money to buy a speedwing, or use a few drill ground uses, but OHKO's are too satisfying to resist. Didn't even need a rainbow potion.

WIf2YuD.png?1

Armor knights feel really easy to take out in this game. They're not even that tanky. Don't they know that they can reclass to gain a crazy speed boost?

KQHIv4s.png?1

Matthis is used to block the 2nd archer from attacking Bord, as that would kill him. Matthis luckily barely survives both hits himself, but both him and Bord have 1 luck, meaning all enemies can theoretically OHKO them. Fun.

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Oh yeah. Warren ALSO has basically no luck. Now I pray for luck level ups. Congrats Fire Emblem. (Yes, he used a rainbow potion to double them).

HR2Xf0Q.png?1

I will do my best to make Bord reach lvl 20 promoted. This man deserves it.

fwf2mfW.png?1

You might be wondering why the girl involved with a clearly secretive evil organization is going out of their way to assassinate Wrys. Does he withhold special information? No. Kleine just hates bald people.

E3kCOyp.png?1

By turn 3, Matthis arrives to bait out the armor guy. I like this chapter. It's a short rush map that tests you to quickly reach Wrys before the enemy. Doesn't take up too much time, so you can quickly go back to the main quest, and you cannot refuse obtaining ya boi Wrys.

A0SIF4I.png?1

Marth good. If he couldn't kill, Matthis wouldn't have reached the spot, meaning no Wrys. Thank Marth.

dLOIP4P.png?1

Cord obliterates the sorry armor dude and defies game balance. It's on Cord though, so it's fair.

43biPGn.png?1

He said the thing!

There are 3 people screaming right now. 

aPgEl4w.png?1

Ok, so I forgot about this reinforcement. I usually plug it up, but not this time. But by a miracle, Wrys actually survived a hit. 

UJPMTQh.png?1

Warren time

8e2tsiC.png?1

Warren reward

xTxoIpk.png?1

After a few heals, Wrys channels his inner speedwrys once again. I cannot wait to promote him. Although I feel kind of sinful waiting a million turns to heal for max xp since this LP hasn't been too challenging so far, so he might take a little while since I don't plan to waste that many turns.

a4UG4pC.png?1

I told you Ruben. I will be twice as risky now. Doesn't this just please your eyes? True FE skills right here.

8Pk4Wk4.png?1

Yay. We got a healer. 

Spoiler

Cord: "Hey. It's the bald guy!"

Wrys: "Oh, if it isn't Cord. And you finally found Bord. I am very glad for the two of you."

Cord: "Wait...you also knew!?!?"

Bord: "Ah, so you met him. He gave me a home in Macedon. As if anyone wanted to live there. It was a house right for the taking, and Wrys bought it years ago in advanced. Gave it right to me to rest my injuries away, undetected from the leftover IRS members. He's a good lad."

Cord: "...Why did you never tell me!?!?"

Wrys: "You never asked."

Cord repeatedly punches Arran's armor to vent out his frustration. He sits there and takes it like a champ for the better part of 77.6 seconds. Later, they all head off, but Cord has a conversation with Arran.

Cord: "Arran...why do you follow us?"

Arran: "You wanted a companion. Your assistant, Ryan, asked me to aide you. Did you forget?"

Cord: "What made you actually go with it though? Did he give you a fortune? Does Altea mean the world to you?"

Arran: 'My reason matters not. But I am here, and I will fight for you until the day I die. You have my word. I swear it as a knight."

Cord: "Well, you certainly have the attitude of a retainer, and you are very well experienced with combat. You've already saved us plenty of times. I just thought you should know that we all appreciate ya. You're pretty quiet. But we don't mind if you want to make some inputs or even attempt befriending some of us."

Arran: "You need not thank me. I...this is my duty. It is not until I die knowing you've been protected throughout my entire lineage that I can say I truly made a worthy accomplishment."

Cord: "I suppose that's fair. Say, how does Ryan know you. No offense, but you're not exactly name many speak of. I don't think you're just a mercenary."

Arran: "...I met Ryan before. I owe him. This is why I agreed to do as he said without pay. But this does not mean I hold no loyalty to you Sir Cord. You are a worthy ruler. I'm sure King Barst would be proud to see all your efforts and struggles create a path to a brighter Archanea."

Cord: "Well, if you're going to be my retainer, I imagine I should know about your past, so I'd like to hear more about this encounter with Ryan, unless it really bothers ya that much."

Arran: "...I prefer not to speak of it."

Cord: "That's a damn shame. Well, at least tell me how you got your skill. Tell me what made you gain this knightly honor you hold so deep. What does it mean to be a knight. I really don't have anyone quite like that. Even as a retainer myself, I was a punk. Perhaps I could learn more from this."

zcjv5hQ.png?1

Arran leaves. Cord doesn't stop him. Instead, he heads off back to regroup, immediately running away when he sees Wrys with a shaver.

 

I don't got a next time. Just pretend there's a really unfunny meme about Sirius here.

 

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 4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Perhaps IS will let me in charge of the inevitable Fates Remake, or Fates 2: "Garon Strikes Back".

Make Garon the main character.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ahh, that got a chuckle outta me. Glad someone got triggered. It shows that you can't handle his über 1337 skills.

Please stop.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Western as in the center? Surely you don't mean taking the...long way?

I will never do the long way. Never.

I'm not someone who cares too much about turn counts, and dealing with wyvern lords and Matthis's suicidal butt while under ballista fire is not something I'm willing to go through. So, yes. I take the long way.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You got a favorite map?

Chapter 8, definitely. It's so well made.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You just wait for opportunities to show that everywhere, don't you?

Look, I just like that image, okay? Now go and play Sword of Heaven and Earth. It's a good hack with a Bantu lookalike. It is also Dorcas's best game. Surely that counts for something?

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Not Frost? Or Cord? I'm disappointed.

I don't know if you saw it, but I went through the FE sorter yesterday and posted the results in the Teehee thread. Which means we now have Ruben's official opinion on every single character in the series.

Frost came second, behind Arran, with Matthis taking third. Cord was, uh...

...105th. Well, I mean, he beats over 500 characters. That's pretty all right.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I remember being an inexperienced FE player playing this for the first time, not liking Arran for being a random pick from the last game with awful growths and falling off harder than anyone else. Then I played it for the 2nd time on maniac, saw how helpful he can be with reclassing and I saw the supports. Then after a 3rd playthrough on lunatic, I basically knew all about the series and the jagen archetype, and I just had a huge appreciation for Arran. I'd still say Dagdar is my favorite Jagen, but Arran has to be at least top 3 for me. My thoughts on him really changed over the time I spent getting into FE. 

Arran is best boy. There's not enough appreciation for him. Not even close.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Bord: "Miracle, son.

It hardens in response to physical trauma. You can't hurt me, Jack!"

Dragon: "My name isn't even Jack."

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

context: In chapter 24 of the FE11 PMU, Bord, Archer Est, and Bishop Roshea were being chased by a dragon reinforcement, all of them got 1RKO'd, so I had to sacrifice Bord to not get anyone else killed. Since Sedgar and Vyland weren't drafted, it was implied they died trying to protect Hardin in chapter 5.)

Awwww... but that's sad...

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

gO9Stjz.png?1

Oh yeah. Warren ALSO has basically no luck. Now I pray for luck level ups. Congrats Fire Emblem.

Luck really is kinda low in this game on average, isn't it. It does get a bit annoying.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

fwf2mfW.png?1

You might be wondering why the girl involved with a clearly secretive evil organization is going out of their way to assassinate Wrys. Does he withhold special information? No. Kleine just hates bald people.

Truly the most wicked villain in FE history.

Honestly though, on a bit of an unrelated note, I like Kleine's design. She's oddly... normal looking? Female FE villains tend to all be lookers (because ugly women aren't allowed to exist in anime which is why Dorothy is best girl), but usually they're either sympathetic or evil goth dominatrixes. Kleine, and Eremiah for that matter, are the only ones I can think of who look like good guys but are completely rotten to the core. I know there's more to them than "haha I'm evil", but they're not obviously good natured like someone such as Brunnya or Selena either.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

dLOIP4P.png?1

Cord obliterates the sorry armor dude and defies game balance. It's on Cord though, so it's fair.

The fact that you didn't use this map entirely to train Matthis hurts me. Cord doesn't need levels, you doofus!

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

43biPGn.png?1

He said the thing!

There are 3 people screaming right now. 

Not me. I am merely looking to the horizon stoically, as I shed a manly tear.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

aPgEl4w.png?1

Ok, so I forgot about this reinforcement. I usually plug it up, but not this time. But by a miracle, Wrys actually survived a hit. 

Tankwrys.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

8e2tsiC.png?1

Warren reward

Well, he's officially better than base Castor. Good on you, Warren!

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

xTxoIpk.png?1

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Now I kinda regret not drafting him as a levin swordmaster. It feels as though it's what he wants to do.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

After a few heals, Wrys channels his inner speedwrys once again. I cannot wait to promote him. Although I feel kind of sinful waiting a million turns to heal for max xp since this LP hasn't been too challenging so far, so he might take a little while since I don't plan to waste that many turns.

Jones, how could someone so based say something so horrible? I demand that you heal every paper cut in sight in order to get Wrys to promotion as soon as possible!

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

a4UG4pC.png?1

I told you Ruben. I will be twice as risky now. Doesn't this just please your eyes? True FE skills right here.

I fucking hate you.

You'll get yours one of these days. I just hope it's none of my favorites that bite the dust for it.

Hey Catria! Be a dear and volunteer to be the guinea pig?

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

zcjv5hQ.png?1

There need to be more knightly types like Arran in this series. Usually knightly types are the most boring fellows around. Arran is so godly that he doesn't even need a beard for me to like him. Though to be fair, he does have the greatest hair in the continent, so there's that.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Arran leaves. Cord doesn't stop him. Instead, he heads off back to regroup, immediately running away when he sees Wrys with a shaver.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

You can run, but you can never hide.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I don't got a next time. Just pretend there's a really unfunny meme about Sirius here.

Why so Sirius?

 

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22 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

I wouldn't really call Brunnya good natured, to be honest.

Well, I used that word for a lack of better ones, but still, clearly game wanted you to think she was at least somewhat nice. Of course, she has four scenes in the entire game and her character consists entirely of "wants Zephiel to bone her" and "honorable kinda maybe", so you kinda have to fill in the blanks.

Also how could you call me out on the unpopular opinion thread, you do know that if I state my opinions about Garon there I will find two different mobs at my doorstep, right?

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1 minute ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, I used that word for a lack of better ones, but still, clearly game wanted you to think she was at least somewhat nice. Of course, she has four scenes in the entire game and her character consists entirely of "wants Zephiel to bone her" and "honorable kinda maybe", so you kinda have to fill in the blanks.

Also how could you call me out on the unpopular opinion thread, you do know that if I state my opinions about Garon there I will find two different mobs at my doorstep, right?

I really just got "wants Egg Sacks" from her to be honest, which, y'know, kind of makes her more scummy? Since she's complicit in warcrimes so she can get ze feel. Like, nobody ever says Leygance or Erik are sympathetic characters even though they have more sympathetic and less psychotically obsessive motivations than Brunnya, who would fry a small helpless child with a lightening bolt if given the chance.

Just tell one mob that the other is out to get them, and they won't bother you one bit.

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7 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

I really just got "wants Egg Sacks" from her to be honest, which, y'know, kind of makes her more scummy? Since she's complicit in warcrimes so she can get ze feel. Like, nobody ever says Leygance or Erik are sympathetic characters even though they have more sympathetic and less psychotically obsessive motivations than Brunnya, who would fry a small helpless child with a lightening bolt if given the chance.

You know what? You're completely true. Screw Brunnya. Sigune best girl.

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17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know what? You're completely true.

I am oddly and immediately enamored with this description and embrace it gratefully with my whole heart. Thank you, you too are completely true.

17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Screw Brunnya. Sigune best girl.

Yeah, Sigune's neat.

But honestly, the real best girl in FE6?

Niime.

I mean, just check out her (addendum: massive honkin' luscious) staff range!

Edited by AnonymousSpeed
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