♠Soul♠ Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 I don't get people (namely chicks; this is very much a chick thing) when they say "don't be desperate", or "don't be needy". What does that even mean? How is it unnattractive? I get that for chicks, it's unnattractive for a guy, since it basically shows weakness (they want a STRONG male). But as a guy? I'd be a delighted for a chick to be desperate for me. It's hot. Why wouldn't I want that? It means she wants me. How is that bad, in any capacity? okay, granted she's hot, or at the very least I'm attracted to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 Guys being desperate for a single woman is like most of romance literature dude. People wanna feel desired, men or women, it's not rocket science. The reason why they always tell people to not be needy/desperate is because real life is more complicated. Obviously if the attraction isn't reciprocated the desperation is a mess for both parties, but even if it is there can still be inequalities. If a girl has a higher sex drive than you, it can be extremely tiring. Even if it's just emotional need, cuddling/being in the same space, that can be tiring too. People need both human contact *and* solitude. And if a person *literally can't handle* being alone on an emotional level to the point of being desperate, that will cause friction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 (edited) Desperation is better on a weapon, as that frees up the B slot for a dodge skill or special spiral...Oh wait, wrong thread. Fire Emblem humour aside, desperation is a nicer way of framing stalking. A person shouldn't be desperate. It implies a lack of choice and a lack of time to make wise decisions. Edited February 28, 2022 by Jotari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 Desperation usually indicates emotional dysfunction, which I would make distinct from being needy, personally. Someone can be more emotionally or physically needy, but not be desperate. And the reverse can likewise be true. Needs can be met by finding the right person who's willing to help meet them or in personal fulfillment (which should probably come first, but everyone is different, so), but desperation typically means the person who is desperate is trying to replace what they actually need emotionally with something that's just going to mask it for a time. And how it's masked can sometimes be dangerous to themselves or those around them, depending on the person and how they handle their emotions. But as exaggerated or idealized traits, both can be integrated into stories/media that people can enjoy, I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Dingo Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 On 2/27/2022 at 9:42 PM, ♠Soul♠ said: How is that bad, in any capacity? It means that you're not looking for someone who is their own person but rather someone who needs you to feel validated, perpetuating a negative stereotype about women and toxic masculinity? Just a shot in the dark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Bond Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 Number one turn-off...even for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Soul, I think you need to find a nice, Soulless demon from hell to have a conversation with. Just a conversation though, maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidereal Wraith Posted April 18, 2022 Share Posted April 18, 2022 (edited) On 2/28/2022 at 2:42 AM, ♠Soul♠ said: I don't get people (namely chicks; this is very much a chick thing) when they say "don't be desperate", or "don't be needy". What does that even mean? Soul as a guy who was in a relationship that lasted over 5 years and lived together with my ex for almost the same length of time I can explain. When they say “don’t be needy” it means they don’t want you to constantly be leaning on them for emotional support. One of the most important parts about being in a relationship is being able to give each other space and to know when to do it. Even if you’re married eventually you’ll need your own space because no matter how much you love each other you’re only human. That’s where the term someone is “high maintenance” comes from. It can be emotionally draining to constantly having to be an emotional pillar of strength for your significant other, especially if said person works and/or has a stressful life. In a relationship you have to learn patience, or you’re sunk. Being in a relationship is like being chased by a sharp, either you keep swimming or you get eaten. Trust me, being with someone who is “desperate” isn’t hot after having to deal with the emotional equivalent of World War 3 every night for years on end. Edited April 30, 2022 by WraithReborn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Soul♠ Posted April 21, 2022 Author Share Posted April 21, 2022 ): Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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