FE Sword of Heaven and Earth Blind Ironman: The Shaky Special

[AnonymousSpeed]

Spoiler

  

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I'm not a fan of never getting stronger there though. Like, some units are stuck at B and you get upset knowing they're stuck like that.

I don't really enjoy using a steel lance 50 times to change it, though.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Are we hell? Fair enough. We absolutely brought Hell to Ja-

And we'd do it again if we had to.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Please help me. If I do nothing, it'll sue me for being the abusive one, and 3 Houses fans will believe the game over me.

Something something "red flag laws".

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

What do you mean!?

You usually want to use defensive statboosters on units who have a good bit of that stat already. Going from one resistance to three isn't going to do much to increase the number of hits you can take. It might against monks with 8 attack, but not against actually threatening mages with 20 or more.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

According to the wiki, it's the Zofian Liberation army. I don't recall if Marth ever referred to his army as the liberation army or not. I skip cutscenes too often to remember. I know that jugdral games are known as liberation army, as well as both Ike and Micaiah's armies in the tellius games. I think even Roy has the liberation army after a while.

I've had it with all this liberation. I demand the next game feature the Oppression Army.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

While Kaga certainly had certain tropes he just couldn't keep his trousers on for, it is apparent that when FE tried to broaden its demographic, it embraced the generic anime stuff much more.

I hear he put all his same kinks into the Saga series too.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I'm not in the mood to have an argument about why I don't think quirky lines are necessary for a good game, or that a good story automatically makes the game good as a whole. Sure, I probably could, but I won't leave happy. If someone wants to talk or debate with me on their own, that's fine for the most part, but I'm not out actively seeking trouble.

I'd debate you on storytelling in video games, but I'm not sure how different our opinions would actually be.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I don't even know what that means.

No-fault divorce basically means getting divorced without any real grievances. Nobody beat anyone or is a drunkard or pooped in the bed, they just...stop doing the married thing. I was under the impression Catholicism did not approve of divorce, yet alone no-fault ones.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Ah, you must be a Nostalgia Critic fan instead.

I haven't watched either of them in years, but from what I hear the Nostalgia Critic is a nice guy in real life, while Linkara is a lot more over-sensitive and self-important.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You have yet to show me your gun permit. Given your title of Anonymous, I require the authorities to verify the legality of your lifestyle.

Glass shards and the sound of their shattering fill the room as the pink-suited man flees through the window.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

My man Steed Dirkly did not win the race twice just so you could monetize an unpromised lengthy ass race that straight up killed the dude.

Being named Steed must be tough. You're always guaranteed to be cool, but you also suffer a terrible fate.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I'm just saying, it's always when the game caters to FE7 when I ending up hating it. The Bern stuff is cool. I like the FE6 references, mostly. Stop with the damn morph stuff and the curses! Gameplay wise, many feel closer to FE6 moments, but then it occasionally gets an FE7 vibe, and the map is ruined.

I'm afraid my Elibe project does still have the Black Fang, even if there are no morphs.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You must love buildfiles.

I'm still clueless.

It's a hacking method where you modify notepad documents which a program then uses to re-build the ROM with the specified changes. It's got a lot of flexibility because you can re-arrange how stuff is stored in the ROM more easily, and you have more control over the patches you want installed or not.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Well, you found a way to describe me malding in your effective weapon post.

I do try on occasion.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

That is the best way to write a villain after all. I learnt from the best. Animes are like seeds.

Anime plushes are full of seed.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Anon hardly makes suggestions, but do not think I've forgotten about...Feeler.

You should give him all your statboosters.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Please don't make me look up video essays on whether this game holds up or not.

There's this guy, K-Bash. He's kind of a loser but his Golden Sun videos are pretty decent. However, there are 5 of them and it'd take, like, 3 hours of your time to watch them all, hours which put cash in a loser's pocket. Most of what he says about the first two games is contained, if not put better, in the LP which Reuben linked and which I recently finished reading.

Will you play my original IP, Silver Moon? I've got a plot that involves theosexuality.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

But inclusivity

You can include my foot up your ass!

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Is what I would've said, but I accidentally put the entire post inside the hidden part, so I just double hid the post, basically lowering the quality of the post even more in an attempt to make it cleaner. Why can't I do 80% of things right?

No organs.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You seem a bit familiar. What's your design based off of?

He reminds me a bit of Klein, but I think the hair is from someone else. I can't say who.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Damn you. This made me imagine Bernie Sanders having soldiers taking people away. Had me an ugly grin.

He'd do it, too.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

The average attack for this arc of the game is 20. It's a decent amount of damage for GBA standards, but it's no FE6 hard mode, so my Gheb FE loving a** can go die.

That's what you get for loving Gheb FE. I mean, do you know what Gheb does to asses?

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

It's its under 80, don't go for it.

That's always been my motto for the age of consent.

You pervert. You despicable wretch. You teacher.

Get your nasty bones away from those 80-year old elves, footphile.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Turn 2: I Wish I Had A Bow IRL

They sell these at some stores, y'know. The liberals have yet to get them removes from Walmart last time I checked.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I want to make a POV joke, but I don't think the joke is acceptable, mostly because very few share my enthusiasm of nuclear explosives.

POV: You have activated the Demon Core.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I don't want this being tracked down to convict me of something awful, so I will clarify that it's a joke. Arrest Anon. Have you seen the stuff he writes? Dude wants to brutally slaughter the cast of Awakening. They're but kids!

Hey hey hey! That is out of context. Okay? That means I actually did nothing bad. It was all @SoulWeaver's idea.

Speaking of stuff I write though, have you seen my story about Dank Dill?

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Big L for the Cord Club. That's right, I have a club. I'm the only member right now, so I get to make all the rules and sources. We could really use donations. 

I can donate some of my time.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Of course, maybe I need that slot for future units like...Feeler.

All. The boosters.

All.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

If I could forge weapons, this LP would've been completed in a single week.

Forging is a great mechanic. I don't know if you can do that with buildfiles or not.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Dorcas has 5 res and one of these guys have a total attack power of 8, I kid you not.

Monks in Elibe are really, really weak. I have no idea why they made them so pathetic.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I may be a war criminal, but I'm no thief.

Un-based.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Effective weaponry has been one of the few good things to come out of the franchise. Was it worth the existence of Heroes?

No.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

God's love stolen.

I always associated resistance with something holy (or unholy if you're a dark mage). I mean, pure water. That can't just be purified water. I see it as holy water that you'd drink before fighting Gharnef. I bet that was Kaga's vision.

I don't know. On one hand, priests, monks, and bishops have high resistance. On the other, the goddess icon gives luck. Not sure what to say about that.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

No one's here for the game. It's for watching a young man mald and bully another guy who's also malding over 3 Copes.

I am also here, for some reason.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

For a theoretical hard mode patch, I'd hardly buff enemy speed, because I noticed that the speed benchmark feels really well done and balanced. It's mainly strength that was the issue.

Hm, interesting. Let me write that down...

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

A bit scummy, but you guys hired Satanists to put Lyn into a coma. That has to be a war crime.

Aren't you a war criminal? How are you going to get the high score if you don't know the rules?

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Okay, he's 18.

I read this as an age of consent joke at first, which was very displeasing to me.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I wonder how Grape would've been in comparison. On second thought, I doubt he would've promoted. He would've given the earth seal to Lydia as a gift, despite the fact that she can't use it.

Simpfruit.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Yes, I did use General Amelia on my first FE game ever.

I think a lot of us made that mistake.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Who are you?

That's what I said to Ruben, and he unfortunately actually had an answer. I just wanted to know if he was a movable boss or not. What kinda nerd cares about this guy's lore from the actual Elibe games from some one off support? 

I'm just kidding. We're all losers.

I mean, I thought his inclusion was pretty cool. It's definitely an FE6 reference and not an FE7 one.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Fire Emblem truly is a game about strategy. Doesn't stop my friends from thinking that I would get down and bark for Camilla. Thanks FE fans. You really make it easy for us to feel comfortable sharing our hobbies. Worst part is, I know for a fact that Ruben would absolutely bark for Malice. Anon is the one guy I can respect.

I'll try not to let you down.

I don't really get this whole barking thing, to be honest. I'm assuming you don't either, because, y'know, if you pretended to be a dog, you'd have to bury your own bones.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Surely it's not entirely on me, is it?

Eeeeeeeeeh?

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Turn 10: Don't Bully Me. I Have Your Address

Come over, we'll have a few laughs, I'll make some dinner.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I hope every damn dragon on Earth burns in Hell.

I hope Roy executes all dragons.

I hope all dragons fall to humanity, as they rightfully lost the war for being stupid fu-

Ninian!Roy fans seething at the truth right now.

I also wrote a story about that. Recommended for anyone who loves race-traitors.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Absorb his power. Ascend to the heavens

Dorcas has power beyond power. He and Emmy have the superior red hair. They are too good, too powerful.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I need speed, or strength! Either one. I already have so many tanks. They call me Tiananmen Square.

I'll have to save this one for Chinese Server Maintenance Day.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I Don't Actually Have Addresses. Anon, Please Find Me Ruben's Address

Oh.

Thankfully, I have Ruben's address already.

His home?

Spain.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I'm not in desperate need of a bulky archer. I'll be nice and say B tier.

You never really have need of a bulky archer. He's functional but everything besides skill is kinda lack-luster.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Everyone but the boss is donion rings. I needed Sieks to go and swap the hand axe away so that I might actually land a hit. They have a brave sword.

Excuse me? Cassis uses he/him pronouns.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Kaga save us all.

Kaga can't save you now.

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Wait no! I actually forgot!

She got cursed by satanists or something, remember?

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You sure? Last time I remember a protagonist's army asked for help, those people became the villains of the sequel. 

FE...10 reference?

On 6/20/2022 at 3:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

As for the map itself, it was pretty fun.

Would you say things are looking up for this game?

 

[SoulWeaver]

15 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

  Hide contents

  

I don't really enjoy using a steel lance 50 times to change it, though.

And we'd do it again if we had to.

Something something "red flag laws".

You usually want to use defensive statboosters on units who have a good bit of that stat already. Going from one resistance to three isn't going to do much to increase the number of hits you can take. It might against monks with 8 attack, but not against actually threatening mages with 20 or more.

I've had it with all this liberation. I demand the next game feature the Oppression Army.

I hear he put all his same kinks into the Saga series too.

I'd debate you on storytelling in video games, but I'm not sure how different our opinions would actually be.

No-fault divorce basically means getting divorced without any real grievances. Nobody beat anyone or is a drunkard or pooped in the bed, they just...stop doing the married thing. I was under the impression Catholicism did not approve of divorce, yet alone no-fault ones.

I haven't watched either of them in years, but from what I hear the Nostalgia Critic is a nice guy in real life, while Linkara is a lot more over-sensitive and self-important.

Glass shards and the sound of their shattering fill the room as the pink-suited man flees through the window.

Being named Steed must be tough. You're always guaranteed to be cool, but you also suffer a terrible fate.

I'm afraid my Elibe project does still have the Black Fang, even if there are no morphs.

It's a hacking method where you modify notepad documents which a program then uses to re-build the ROM with the specified changes. It's got a lot of flexibility because you can re-arrange how stuff is stored in the ROM more easily, and you have more control over the patches you want installed or not.

I do try on occasion.

Anime plushes are full of seed.

You should give him all your statboosters.

There's this guy, K-Bash. He's kind of a loser but his Golden Sun videos are pretty decent. However, there are 5 of them and it'd take, like, 3 hours of your time to watch them all, hours which put cash in a loser's pocket. Most of what he says about the first two games is contained, if not put better, in the LP which Reuben linked and which I recently finished reading.

Will you play my original IP, Silver Moon? I've got a plot that involves theosexuality.

You can include my foot up your ass!

No organs.

He reminds me a bit of Klein, but I think the hair is from someone else. I can't say who.

He'd do it, too.

That's what you get for loving Gheb FE. I mean, do you know what Gheb does to asses?

You pervert. You despicable wretch. You teacher.

Get your nasty bones away from those 80-year old elves, footphile.

They sell these at some stores, y'know. The liberals have yet to get them removes from Walmart last time I checked.

POV: You have activated the Demon Core.

Hey hey hey! That is out of context. Okay? That means I actually did nothing bad. It was all @SoulWeaver's idea.

Speaking of stuff I write though, have you seen my story about Dank Dill?

I can donate some of my time.

All. The boosters.

All.

Forging is a great mechanic. I don't know if you can do that with buildfiles or not.

Monks in Elibe are really, really weak. I have no idea why they made them so pathetic.

Un-based.

No.

I don't know. On one hand, priests, monks, and bishops have high resistance. On the other, the goddess icon gives luck. Not sure what to say about that.

I am also here, for some reason.

Hm, interesting. Let me write that down...

Aren't you a war criminal? How are you going to get the high score if you don't know the rules?

I read this as an age of consent joke at first, which was very displeasing to me.

Simpfruit.

I think a lot of us made that mistake.

I mean, I thought his inclusion was pretty cool. It's definitely an FE6 reference and not an FE7 one.

I'll try not to let you down.

I don't really get this whole barking thing, to be honest. I'm assuming you don't either, because, y'know, if you pretended to be a dog, you'd have to bury your own bones.

Eeeeeeeeeh?

Come over, we'll have a few laughs, I'll make some dinner.

Ninian!Roy fans seething at the truth right now.

I also wrote a story about that. Recommended for anyone who loves race-traitors.

Dorcas has power beyond power. He and Emmy have the superior red hair. They are too good, too powerful.

I'll have to save this one for Chinese Server Maintenance Day.

Oh.

Thankfully, I have Ruben's address already.

His home?

Spain.

You never really have need of a bulky archer. He's functional but everything besides skill is kinda lack-luster.

Excuse me? Cassis uses he/him pronouns.

Kaga can't save you now.

She got cursed by satanists or something, remember?

FE...10 reference?

Would you say things are looking up for this game?

 

I’m not sure what bus I just got thrown under but I’d like to clarify that whatever it was was entirely Chloey’s fault.

[AnonymousSpeed]

33 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

I’m not sure what bus I just got thrown under but I’d like to clarify that whatever it was was entirely Chloey’s fault.

This skeleton here thinks it was my idea to murder all the Awakening children. Surely this is Chloey's fault and not mine, right?

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Sacilian League.

Morph Management Ministry (We put them in concentration camps)

The 502nd

Saucy Saya

Sussy Sieks

Ruben's Rehabilitation 

The Spanish Inquisition.

None of this even makes any sense. You fail, Sheckers.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Animes are like seeds.

That they are. I swear I see the exact same garbage romcom with a different skin every three months. Where are Garon and his salt when you need them?

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

YOU THINK I'M HAPPY ABOUT THIS!?

Because I'm only slightly relieved.

Oof.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

It'll be when I play through the Kaga Saga, just to say that The Last Promise is better.

I will accept these terms, for I like TLP well enough as well.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I'm going to shorten this by putting cutscenes in their own spoiler tag. Maybe you just want the gameplay or are tired of seeing Saya's stupid headband.

 

Is what I would've said, but I accidentally put the entire post inside the hidden part, so I just double hid the post, basically lowering the quality of the post even more in an attempt to make it cleaner. Why can't I do 80% of things right?

Hey, at least you haven't failed to put the update in the spoiler box yet. It's happened to me a couple times before.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I would make a joke about this chapter just being one of many in this game, but man, did things get crazy.

I do like how they go from "HISTORY" to a recolor of the hilariously decrepit old man portrait from FE6. Like, c'mon, is this really an enemy for the ages? This?

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

He's also extremely abrassive. This choice of portrait is so bizarre... I can imagine the raspiest old guy voice spewing all these massive insults at Dayan. Probably stopping every three words to breathe.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You seem a bit familiar. What's your design based off of?

The clothes belong to Klein. The hair is a lot like Erk's.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Must be the FE fans' degeneracy, like Ruben.

What about me, Shakespeare?

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Team D is set. It's a smaller team, with more frail units like Fritz and Trachina, so they probably need a healer more than the bottom half. Realistically, I should bring two healers as to not waste all of my vulneraries, which is my money, but I need every deployment slot I can get. 

Ayyyyy wait when did Otto promote? I missed it! Was it in the Albertoless update?

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Finally. Double digit widower.

Former single digit speed.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Dude wants to brutally slaughter the cast of Awakening. They're but kids!

@AnonymousSpeed You're way behind me. I slaughtered the entire cast of Awakening in my first run by caring too little about the game to strategize or reset!

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Despite Sieks's poor skill, he has no skill issue. This is because he receives a hidden sieks points of skill every time someone makes a bad pun about his name.

He's probably already overflowed his skill stat a couple times, then.

Probably sieks times.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Sieks stat gains. You f**king love to see it.

Hwahahahahahahaha.

Weaponized dullness.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I hope a mountain lion eats your left hand.

...Ow.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Old man seething.

Seriously, what's with the temper on this guy? Dude, don't put your heart through this much strain.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

My vision

Of God.

I agree with your vision of God.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Not only that, Yaraf got a kill too! I don't provide enough Yaraf content.

You really don't give the big guy enough attention. It's like you're traumatized since he almost died to bolting that one time.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

"If you hate FE7 or Ruben, you'll love this LP!".

I can confirm.

Quote

It's for watching a young man mald and bully another guy who's also malding over 3 Copes.

Are you kidding me? My life's great right now! Three Copes being predictably not a great thing is like, the least of my worries.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

My hopes for the game are getting higher again. 

Niiiiiiiice.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Zero strength. 

I f**king LOVE FE7 promo bonuses!!!

She has achieved Her Manliness status.

No strength is a bummer, but she's still pretty amazing. I mean, hell, she tanks hits to the face better than her dad lol.

Quote

 

Yaraf is pretty lucky. He had front row seats to 2 promotions.

These stats scream "jack of all trades, master of none", but at least 13 defense is decent for this game's standards.

The saying is also exactly what Ruben said about Gim, and look how wrong he was there.

Hey, I do actually recall saying a line like this at some point before.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I really should bench you. I really should. But I already killed Lydia. I sacrificed my own happiness for a bit. Oh well, I'm not sorry.

That's... that's not even bad, dude.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You get to retract one of my insults from this post.

I pick the one that was mean.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I wonder how Grape would've been in comparison. On second thought, I doubt he would've promoted. He would've given the earth seal to Lydia as a gift, despite the fact that she can't use it.

Did you really have to squish the grape like that? He didn't deserve it, he served you well while he was here!

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Even if you don't like armors, you have to admit that generals look really cool in battle.

Preach. I always loved how these guys look in GBA, with their chain weapons and their mecha-like aesthetic.

Quote

Yes, I did use General Amelia on my first FE game ever.

General Amelia best Amelia.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Who are you?

That's what I said to Ruben, and he unfortunately actually had an answer. I just wanted to know if he was a movable boss or not. What kinda nerd cares about this guy's lore from the actual Elibe games from some one off support? 

I'm just kidding. We're all losers.

I have nothing to add.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Wha-

WHERE DID HE COME FROM!?!?

I- I genuinely did not see him! That dragon screenshot was what I saw. I completely tunnel visioned! Hell, once again, I was assuming the boss doesn't move! Those pillars he was standing around. They were just pillars! I gaslit myself into thinking that being aggressive with Saya was fine. I thought that was his throne! But it's an escape map, not seize! Argh, I feel so stupid, but I also really want to blame the game.

He was also not on a throne. So, uh... yeah, your argument kinda fell apart there, didn't it.

Quote

Surely it's not entirely on me, is it?

Sorry, pal. It happens.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

NOOOOOOO!!!

...Oh dear.

Quote

HOOOOOOO MYYY GOOOD!!!!!

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

Quote

.....

The voices will never let this go.

I am gonna beat this run, and they'll tell me that it's undeserved because I technically should've lost here. Great.

Kaga wants you to keep going until you see Feeler.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

No, I just have to accept the L. I messed up, but I was given a chance of redemption. I must repay for this by sacrificing someone else to appease the romhack God, Blazer. I must kill Gim.

Yes, good idea. Reunite the bros in heaven.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I hope every damn dragon on Earth burns in Hell.

I hope Roy executes all dragons.

I hope all dragons fall to humanity, as they rightfully lost the war for being stupid fu-

I mean... He kinda does. There's only like, four dragons left alive at the end of BB.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You've gotta be kidding me.

They always catch me off-guard! Every time!

Gahahahahahahahahah.

I love this gimmick, not gonna lie. It's always fun when they show up. Why isn't this guy the commander, anyway? He only looks 2 years younger than *ctrl + f to find the guy's name because he's supremely forgettable* Cadmus, but he actually seems like he wouldn't fall apart if he was struck twice. By a sheet of tissue.

Quote

It's a very elegant portrait though. It's sort of cheering me up.

Yeah, that helps. They're not shitty direct ports, the hacker actually made some real slick portraits for 'em.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Oh, she's making up for her previous garbage level up. I still hate you, but a bit less.

Eyyyyyyyyy hail science!

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

A battle between war veterans. Man to man.

His palette is really cool, too. Bronze general. If only he was recruitable.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Absorb his power. Ascend to the heavens

then fall right back down, as you are unfortunately associated with a bad FE game.

Hey, he's like, the best part of the bad FE game, so that's something to note.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You let me down again!

Yikes...

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I already have so many tanks. They call me Tiananmen Square.

...N-No, ShakESPEARE--

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Well, most of us anyways.

Yeah, I did intentionally let him die so that the horseman is in range to be killed in a specific tile. Who needs the convoy?

Hey, that's actually a neat use of the immortal convoy. I like it.

Quote

Turn 12: I Don't Actually Have Addresses. Anon, Please Find Me Ruben's Address

Paseo de la Castellana, 120, Planta 8ª, 28046 Madrid.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I need to remember that the average FE player isn't an absolute masochist, like Ruben.

Are you kidding me? With the amount of bullshit in this series?

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

To me though, he's pretty mid. No real reason to use him. My archers are already better in speed, and the strength stat is similar. I'm not in desperate need of a bulky archer. I'll be nice and say B tier.

Fair enough. Travis is a pretty forgettable guy.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Did I ask?

That brave sword will look really good on Emmy.

Turn 13: Free Parking

Sergei really could use the xp.

There ya go! Good lad!

The boss didn't even have a death quote. What a loser.

I always found it super weird that he has no death quote. You'd think this guy, of all guys, would be the one to have a melodramatic line, but... nope.

Anyway, former husband is now former... non-bosskiller.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I like planning turns ahead. You'd think that's how many would want to play, but the amount of people who go "Let's wing it" or "We'll be fine" or even "Imma risk it" is staggering. This really is just another RPG to people, isnt' it? Kaga save us all.

Unfortunate. I would like to say I'm an exception, but I'm too stupid to play smartly. So I don't. For the most part, at least. I've done a couple of things to feel proud about over the years.

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Which one's that? The one with Eliwood?

Yep....damn.

I still hate Eliwood.

No, but Eligood...

On 6/20/2022 at 9:31 AM, Shaky Jones said:

As for the map itself, it was pretty fun. I enjoyed the rescue mission, and the army split was well executed. As one army has a main objective, the other focuses on fending off reinforcements. The plan was set up from the last chapter, and you execute it as planned. I can respect nothing going wrong, because it would've been so easy to have something go wrong to hype up a bad guy. Thank God there were no morph shenanigans here. The enemy class choices and layout were solid, although a bit empty in the inner prison section. While the left door with the 2 chests wasn't as difficult as it was hyped up to be (you have spare turns before the button is pressed, so you're not risking anything by entering it early on), I enjoy the optional challenge nonetheless, and who doesn't like a moving mini boss? There's not much else I can add. I just liked the map. 7.5/10. Actually, it had that one chad on turn 11. 8/10. 

Glad you enjoyed it!

 

[SoulWeaver]

3 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

This skeleton here thinks it was my idea to murder all the Awakening children. Surely this is Chloey's fault and not mine, right?

Oh. That.

So the base idea is my fault, but as a matter of fact the thread is in fact on Chloey - the original question was part of my idea for the “Twisted Timelines” prompt, I sent it to three people, Chloey refused to answer the question so obviously the only logical thing to do was make it a forest-wide Danganronpa-esque debacle and completely arbitrarily assign her the position of tiebreaker judge. Sadly we didn’t get the Morgan/Lucina time I wanted to put her through but that's how it goes.

[Shaky Jones]

Replies:

Spoiler

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I don't really enjoy using a steel lance 50 times to change it, though.

Says the Binding Blade fan

How about using a hammer 50 times?

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

You usually want to use defensive statboosters on units who have a good bit of that stat already. Going from one resistance to three isn't going to do much to increase the number of hits you can take. It might against monks with 8 attack, but not against actually threatening mages with 20 or more.

True. In this case, I was just tired of having Nikita being a frontline unit who constantly suffered from his awful res. It would've been better on Sergei. I probably would've just given it to Sieks though otherwise.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I've had it with all this liberation. I demand the next game feature the Oppression Army.

So Bern?

Yeah, let us play a game where we're the baddies, but done properly. None of this Edelgard justification BS or Garon backstabbing 4Kids shenanigans. Give war a chance. Let me kill a blatant protagonist and have my oppressively army conquer the land as I rightfully see fit.

Yes, I want Conquest, but Garon actually wins. Bro, it's literally in the lyrics of the damn rout. Embrace the dark.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I hear he put all his same kinks into the Saga series too.

Ruben, how many kinks are there in Vestaria 2?

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I'd debate you on storytelling in video games, but I'm not sure how different our opinions would actually be.

Nothing wrong with giving it a shot. That said, I don't really focus too much on stories to begin with. What series we talking? Fire Emblem? Something else? Storytelling as a whole? The answer to all of these is The Last Promise.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

No-fault divorce basically means getting divorced without any real grievances. Nobody beat anyone or is a drunkard or pooped in the bed, they just...stop doing the married thing. I was under the impression Catholicism did not approve of divorce, yet alone no-fault ones.

All I know is that it took my parents over a decade to officially divorce. I don't know if religion played a part.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I haven't watched either of them in years, but from what I hear the Nostalgia Critic is a nice guy in real life, while Linkara is a lot more over-sensitive and self-important.

Yeah, I've seen a few Linkara videos and his twitter rants. It can be quite entertaining. A shame he tolerates zero jokes made against him. Bro, you're a quirky comic reviewer on the internet. You signed up for this. Not saying you can't be you, but if you're going to run at the camera at mach speed on a greenscreen, you can't expect me to not still laugh at it today.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Glass shards and the sound of their shattering fill the room as the pink-suited man flees through the window.

Wait no, come back.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I'm afraid my Elibe project does still have the Black Fang, even if there are no morphs.

The Black Fang are admittedly some of the better parts of FE7. I mostly prefer the Bern arc of the game (it's the only enjoyable part imo), and Linus and Lloyd are sorta cool. I'm sure you'd find a way to add onto their lore without incorporating everything that ruins them. Man, I hate morphs, and Nergal.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Anime plushes are full of seed.

But not you, right?

You just have the jar.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

You should give him all your statboosters.

f**k's sake man.

I need that. Have you seen the speed on some of my units? I'll consider the rest. Just for you.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

There's this guy, K-Bash. He's kind of a loser

Damn. 

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

but his Golden Sun videos are pretty decent. However, there are 5 of them and it'd take, like, 3 hours of your time to watch them all, hours which put cash in a loser's pocket. Most of what he says about the first two games is contained, if not put better, in the LP which Reuben linked and which I recently finished reading.

I'll consider it, but seeing several persona stuff on the channel, I am concerned. Guess you weren't kidding.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Will you play my original IP, Silver Moon? I've got a plot that involves theosexuality.

Once again, what? I see IP and think of addresses. Is Silver Moon a game? A romhack? An interactable story? 

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

You can include my foot up your ass!

That's a good one. Don't go for me though. You'll just get your foot stuck on my pelvis and we'll both lose.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

No organs.

I'll be laughing when you suffer from kidney stones.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

He'd do it, too.

Funny Footsteps plays

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

That's what you get for loving Gheb FE. I mean, do you know what Gheb does to asses?

My man Glass got to keep him in check. Dude's gonna get every STD.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

You pervert. You despicable wretch. You teacher.

Get your nasty bones away from those 80-year old elves, footphile.

Come on. It's in character! They're practically walking skeletons. You never know when they're gonna deteriorate!

Ruben just likes chicken tenders a bit too much. 

You give me sadist vibes. Not like kinky stuff. Just actual torture.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

They sell these at some stores, y'know. The liberals have yet to get them removes from Walmart last time I checked

Don't make me bring back Juno.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Hey hey hey! That is out of context. Okay? That means I actually did nothing bad. It was all @SoulWeaver's idea.

Speaking of stuff I write though, have you seen my story about Dank Dill?

Okay, you can both go in a cell.

Not yet. Maybe when I have more free time, but now several people I know are going to bug me nonstop over 3 Hopes, so I will be playing it throughout the next few weeks.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I can donate some of my time.

Excellent. We will raid IntSys headquarters for definitive proof of the FE17 leaks. If there is no proof, we'll forge evidence. We'll add our own small details.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

All. The boosters.

All.

Damn you!

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Forging is a great mechanic. I don't know if you can do that with buildfiles or not.

I haven't heard of any romhacks that added forging, and I'd like to think someone would've done it by now.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Un-based.

How about I steal your liver?

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

No.

Correct.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I am also here, for some reason.

That's the subtitle. AnonymousSpeed is also here, for some reason.

Just kidding. You're integral to this operation. You're the chloroform provider.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Aren't you a war criminal? How are you going to get the high score if you don't know the rules?

Get Russia to help me.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I read this as an age of consent joke at first, which was very displeasing to me.

That one's on you buddy.

That's at least 62 years off.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I mean, I thought his inclusion was pretty cool. It's definitely an FE6 reference and not an FE7 one.

How do you people know this? This is such a specific bit of trivia, I imagine the nerd emoji describing how cool it is. No offense pink guy. 

I'm glad that stuff like that is in the game. If you're going to make an Elibe midquel, it's nice to acknowledge a lot of aspects of the games, both major and minor. But I don't like Elibe. FE6 is fun, but I sure don't focus on the world of it. I just imagine how it would've been if Kaga stuck around. Can't expect me to know all this. It's why you guys are here. To point out things I miss. Perhaps someone reads this and rages whenever I don't cheer for something.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Eeeeeeeeeh?

Okay, it was dumb and pointless. I just don't think it was worth a run ender. Luckily, I was spared of that. I was given a second chance. I get punished more than enough in FE. I watch any FE streamer and they're 50 times luckier than me. I swear, some people genuinely believe any hit below 40 means you're untouchable. I'll stop before I keep coping. I'm grateful that I lived. The chapter was fun and I made no other mistakes, so I'm going to make the decision and say I'm not horrible at this game.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Come over, we'll have a few laughs, I'll make some dinner.

Something tells me I'm never coming back out.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Ninian!Roy fans seething at the truth right now.

I also wrote a story about that. Recommended for anyone who loves race-traitors.

I love betrayal. And racing.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

You never really have need of a bulky archer. He's functional but everything besides skill is kinda lack-luster.

I should've specified that he's a very low B. I don't think he's bad, since a 12 strength sniper with A rank bows isn't really awful by any means. Because of male snipers only getting 1 strength, Fritz won't get much stronger, so even a trained archer is only likely to be a bit stronger. Gamer girl snipers get +3, but Erica's strength growth sucks, and she's anything but tanky. Sure, archers don't really need to be bulky, but it's been pretty helpful on Yaraf. It also helps against killer bow enemies which there's quite a few of in this chapter. 

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Excuse me? Cassis uses he/him pronouns

Cassis is deceased/6 feet under.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

She got cursed by satanists or something, remember?

My headcanon is that nicotine withdrawal got the better of her.

On 6/21/2022 at 6:13 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Would you say things are looking up for this game?

I'd say so, yeah. I was very negative on the last few posts, and I did rant to Ruben on dm's about 2 or 3 times. It was just becoming disappointing and not that fun to pick up, but now I'm enjoying it again, and this chapter was actually really fun as well. Please don't fall off again. Don't let 3 Hopes be the game I enjoy most.

On 6/22/2022 at 9:33 AM, SoulWeaver said:

I’m not sure what bus I just got thrown under but I’d like to clarify that whatever it was was entirely Chloey’s fault.

Oh, I was just going to arrest AnonymousSpeed, then he ratted you out. Now you're both going to prison, along with this Chloey fella you just outed. You're all very cooperative people.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:07 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

This skeleton here thinks it was my idea to murder all the Awakening children. Surely this is Chloey's fault and not mine, right?

Just because you didn't organize the drug ring don't mean you did nothing wrong. You get me?

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

None of this even makes any sense. You fail, Sheckers.

I'd like to hear you do better.

I love my ideas.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I do like how they go from "HISTORY" to a recolor of the hilariously decrepit old man portrait from FE6. Like, c'mon, is this really an enemy for the ages? This?

I don't know. I kinda dig it.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

He's also extremely abrassive. This choice of portrait is so bizarre... I can imagine the raspiest old guy voice spewing all these massive insults at Dayan. Probably stopping every three words to breathe.

To be fair, it's usually the old people that have no hesitation to be incredibly hateful. And racist!

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

What about me, Shakespeare?

You apparently make Saya disgusted.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ayyyyy wait when did Otto promote? I missed it! Was it in the Albertoless update?

Did I show it? I actually don't remember. I'll do it on the main chapter post below.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You're way behind me. I slaughtered the entire cast of Awakening in my first run by caring too little about the game to strategize or reset!

Yeah, but he's actively fantasizing having them locked up in some cage, then shooting them in front of loved ones. That's the vibe I got the last time I checked.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You really don't give the big guy enough attention. It's like you're traumatized since he almost died to bolting that one time.

I cannot let Big Guy die. Worst case scenario, he dodges death again, and I really will just look like a bad player. My fragile ego cannot let that happen.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

She has achieved Her Manliness status.

No strength is a bummer, but she's still pretty amazing. I mean, hell, she tanks hits to the face better than her dad lol.

I wonder how I'll go about deploying them. It's hard to bring both of them in a map, since I'd rather get my whole team promoted first, meaning that I'll frequently be benching promoted units temporarily, mostly to spite people who live by pitfall videos.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Did you really have to squish the grape like that? He didn't deserve it, he served you well while he was here!

He was cool, but you have too many favorites. Yes, I am blaming you.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

He was also not on a throne. So, uh... yeah, your argument kinda fell apart there, didn't it.

I swear I'm not trying to make an argument. I'm saying that my mind, for whatever reason, dismissed him as a guy on a throne, and I just thought the pillars were thrones, clearly not paying attention. It's why I'm so angry over it. I know it's my fault, but it feels like I had every reason to believe I was safe. 

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, good idea. Reunite the bros in heaven.

How dare you.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, he's like, the best part of the bad FE game, so that's something to note.

Yeah, but...I hate FE7.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

...N-No, ShakESPEARE--

What's the problem?

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Are you kidding me? With the amount of bullshit in this series?

Yeah, but most people who aren't forum users arguing about bad design like us just see any map that has a siege or status staff and immediately call the map awful garbage. Pretty sure my casual IRL friend who sorta plays this series would despite FE6 and Thracia. We don't, meaning something is deeply wrong with us.

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Unfortunate. I would like to say I'm an exception, but I'm too stupid to play smartly. So I don't. For the most part, at least. I've done a couple of things to feel proud about over the years.

I guess I'm just more prideful, which basically means I'm an arrogant a**hole. Besides, you have your sig. Be proud of that. Brag about how correct you are! Except warrior Yubello, that's a lie. 

On 6/22/2022 at 10:47 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Glad you enjoyed it!

Yeah man, things are looking up for this hack again.

Chapter 16: Crumbling Alliance

Spoiler

Let's try this again.

Spoiler

Yeah, praise me. Half the turns. The ascension of Sieks. I really popped off. 

This sentence seems incorrect. This is likely a clever reference to FE7's sh**ty official translation.

How are they gonna help? Go to Thracia. They have a Kia staff, and a better lead dev.

You get used to it. Knight Brutality is more common than you think. 

What is that Lysithea lookin-ass hairdo?

So she's a journalist or bystander. Sounds about right.

Their pride resides in the money in their bank. 

Fair enough.

That is so much worse.

Isn't this the plot of every Batman origins movie?

I can.

I'm guessing she meant Dracoknight

Why is it seen as evil when Bern does this, but then I'm expected to forgive Britain? It's not xenophobia, it's patriotism!

I don't understand these words. Me dumb.

At this rate, you're just trying to dictate every place Lyn has ever set foot on.

Preparations: Did I Ask?

What the f**k.

Are you talking to me? Mark's not in this game? Am I Saya? Are you telling her that you can level up? She's not gonna know what that means. You must be talking to me. This man knows the 4th wall!

I finally have a unit with 8 move, so turn 1 actions will go much more smoothly. A regular tryhard will likely have at least 2 paladins and a flier. Maybe more, since this game uses earth seals, but they miss out on Erica and Sieks.

I talk/rant about luna and killers. Read if you want to imagine me with the nerd glasses emoji.

Spoiler

Luna boy strikes back. Some people hate Glower in NM for being really strong, but at least it doesn't have crit or laughably awful accuracy. It's supposed to be intimidating. Critical hits are just infuriating, at least in this case. I can defend other critical weapons, such as archers with killer bows (which this chapter features), as it mostly serves to promote player phase attacks. You attack them at 1 range and ignore a counter. Maybe you bait them with a bulky unit or charge in with a cav to kill them. For 1 range killers, your archers will laugh as they pierce their kneecaps, and mages will relish in burning their flesh. It can certainly be used annoyingly, but when properly utilized with well thought out positioning and overall map design, it can work quite well, as long is it isn't overused (and games like Thracia have scrolls that negate crits). Luna ignores that because it's a 1-2 range crit tome, and you cannot use pure waters, as it ignores defense. It's why it's such an offense on FE7 druids with over 20 magic. Sure, there are still a few ways around this, but this is not how you want to have players go around typical enemy combat design. For FE12, they won't crit. You can expect exactly how much damage they'll do, and you are given the longbow and braves to bypass it right before they appear. These guys do not appear until near the very end, serving to prevent you from just tanking with capped units given the game's high growths. Here, they appear whenever, and criticals are just a thing you worry about out of fear of being unlucky. It's insulting. Sure, you have a longbow, but you easily could've wasted it by now, and it is not the most accurate weapon (In NM, you could reclass to a sniper and use it reliably if needed).  The crit in this game isn't even high, but the fact that it's there still means it's hard to not feel incentivized to play as if it will crit. It doesn't help that most enemies in this game only move when in their range. I also know that I have braves now, but this guy's surrounded by enemies, so running in and using a brave is far too risky, especially since you'll be in range of the killer bow enemy, once again being in risk (I did not have braves when they introduced luna enemies). I don't mean to refer to the stage as a whole as bad. I actually quite like the enemy positioning here. It's merely the luna tome with a crit that is poor, and I wanted to discuss what makes this inherently bad design as opposed to other uses of killers and lunas throughout the series. This marks the end of my half rant/half killer analysis talk.

Tl;dr: This guy has luna. It sucks. I wish they had a different tome, or that the luna tome was made to be better, because the rest of the map is well thought out, and luna is the one thing ruining it, even if this guy isn't even that much of a threat on his own. 

You can tell that this will be one of the harder maps, as it features the destructive duo, Borcas and Dartre.

So according to Ruben, this guy is recruitable. Honestly, if I didn't ask him, I probably would've just killed him without thinking about it. This does mean yet another slot going to waste, but what can ya do?

There's a northern and western path. 

I only have 11 slots, so splitting my team will be a bit tricky. I could just go all in on one path, but where's the honor in that? I love splitting my army. It's my favorite way to play. Something about deciding how to best determine who will best succeed in combination with a set group of companions while under a limited number of units is so captivating to me. I'm almost certain that it's a kink.

That said, I'm afraid Fritz will have to sit this one out. If we could have nice things, I'd bench Trachina, but I respect Ruben, despite how mean I am sometimes.

No Emmy or Gim will make things harder, but Nikita's 8 move will help out a lot here, and Sieks is a must have. These two and Dorcas should be all I need for promoted units. The map looks quite fun, even if it's a relatively simple town. 

Before I begin, I need to upgrade Erica. The killer bow has 7 con, and I'd like her to damage enemies without getting weighed down. Ruben's lucky enough that I'm using Trachina at all. I'm sure Anon would not want me wasting it on her, although he'd probably ask it to be used on Feeler. Just be glad I'm using it on unpopular archer. It's a much more based class than science mage. Also, I need to prove that one guy from chapter 13 of FE6 wrong about the body ring making girls unattractive. What's that all about? With this, her stats will increase exponentially. That's infinitely more attractive, and I refuse to let Ruben fantasize Trachina with muscles.

They finally realized that it's not about quantity, it's about quality.

Nevermind. They're going FE7 mode.

Turn 1: Quick Warning. I Rant About FE7 A Lot More This Chapter

Fire was one damage off, and other tomes were less accurate. You think I'll rely on a 94? RNG has lied to me time and time again. I'm grateful for dodging the 70, but don't think I forgot all those 80 misses in chapter 3. 

So anyways, I rely on 2 78s.

I can't wait for Sergei to promote. I could really use a 2nd healer. Trachina could be a 3rd healer eventually. Maybe I'll just promote her immediately. She'd probably do much better as a staffbot anyways. Staves don't have weight, unlike the consequences of her actions that led to her being jobless and stuck living with her mom.

4 crit. I hate it. It's the perfect number that simultaneously screams "This won't crit" and "Damn, that's absolutely going to crit". Oh well, they died.

Turn 2: Killer Setup

Now Sergei deals one damage too much. If only I could forge a fire tome to have 1 less might. Really, the armorer should be paying me there.

Dorcas can't afford to go in any closer, as the archer combined with the 2 fighters make for a deadly trio.

Getting in any closer is near impossible, as a crit will deal heavy damage, and waiting a turn to charge in at the archer will still leave me vulnerable to the fighters and the strong mage close to him. Of course, there's strategy to be found in trying to fight off the fighters that turn while bracing for the cavaliers above them, but I don't want to wait. This set of enemies challenges how one can safely approach them, and I choose to not be safe. Nikita will be fine. As long as the archer doesn't crit and both fighter go for and hit him, I'll live. Preferably, the fighters move first, since Dorcas has defense and can't counter, meaning that they'll almost certainly go for him.

Sending Otto to the north was a mistake. This path is clearly the scary one. The others have Sieks. They'll be fine.

The only thing Sieks has to worry about is the man with a hammer. I also worry for the fighter with the devil axe, as he was likely misguided and he might've been a good person born under poor circumstances, unknowing of the forgiveness found within reforming.

It turns out that he's just a redditor.

For both of these units, they dodged once. I'm unsure whether to be upset with the bad luck, or happy that this could be easy killings for my archers.

The other one went for Dorcas. If they knew of teamwork, they might've actually killed Nikita, except they would've needed a crit, and nobody would rely on a 20 to proc.

Turn 3 Hopes Haha, You See What I Did There?

One last attack.

The divorce toughened him up quite a bit, hence the sturdiness and authoritative traits. Him being slow is why the divorce happened.

Things would've been much easier if Dorcas had the brave bow, but I gave it to Yaraf in hopes that it would help him secure more xp.

He didn't use it at all.

1*2? That's awful. But I proc'd rend heaven twice, landing a critical strike on both hits. 

Wanting to remove the mage and bait out the cavaliers, I send Nikita west, having him use a vulnerary to survive the upcoming 3 enemies that can hurt him. The merc wasn't one of them, because I browsed twitter the other hour and lost brain cells. I did not notice him, despite them being in plain site. The 3 enemies I'm accounting for are the mage, one of the cavs, and a solider with a jav that you can't see. He survives with 2 HP, but I just forgot the merc.

That's actually pretty good. Silver blade suck. 93 hit, on a merc. Surely, I'll dodge. I saw 2 people I know play recently, and those f**kers dodged 40s like they're nothing. 

These guys are why Dorcas had to fight the archer from a distance. I need to remove them from the picture before advancing. Another reason why I was eager to bait out enemies with Nikita. Perhaps I'm being a tad aggressive, but hey. I'm having fun. 

I knew it. Sieks did intentionally miss. He was very considerate for the growth of others. It's like Matthis and Tomas all over again. Or Matthis and Sheema.

A bit off topic, but I loved the Devil Axe in Anon's rebalance patch. I don't care that it's unreliable. A strong axe with 100 hit is too good to pass up. Bartre was a monster. Even when he got cursed, he lived. Of course, it was terrifying on the enemy's hand, but at least Gonzales wouldn't miss. Oh yeah, he also added a brave sword, but I didn't use it. I have a brave bow. I'm good.

Erica, having a crush on Sieks, displays her archery skills by popping the fighter's left nested egg. It made me a bit uncomfortable to see in GBA sprites, but Sieks got a laugh out of it.

This was followed by classic rescue dropping, since this guy also has a killer bow. They deal one damage to Sieks.

Ah, look at that. I'm fine. You probably could've killed me with an iron sword, but you chose to focus purely on strength, paying no attention to the hit rate of your weapon. Rookie mistake pal. 

I didn't record the cav hit, but I imagine that I was statistically really likely to dodge at least one hit. If you're wondering about the enemies having 1-2 hp left, they did die. It's just hard to capture them at zero health because they blink a lot, and I don't want Nikita hitting the air. 

Oh.

This is the power of communism.

Turn 4: I Gotta Be Careful With Nikita

Can we talk about how stupid Tania sounds as a faction name? I would quit my job. You guys are the laughing stock of Lycian knights. I would wish for you to get bullied by getting wedgied and hung up to a pole, but you're all adults, so I'll wish for the adult equivalent of that. Crucifixion.

There goes Tania.

I almost wish this game used regular GBA promo items. I could've made jokes about the guiding ring being a sort of wedding ring.

Sergei always screamed "thunder" in my eyes. I just don't use it because fire's more accurate.

Of course! No skill or speed! 

WHAT THE HELL WOULD I NEED THAT FOR!?? Nahhh, just give me 1 magic and call it a day! 

3 defense is nice, since Sergei actually works well with that, but on most mages, this does not mean they're now a tank. You just hate giving people buffs on things they actually want. I might move FE7 down to D tier, with the NES games. I didn't even know I hated FE7 this much, but wow. You constantly amaze me with utter incompetence. Nothing is fun! Garbage effective weaponry, garbage promo gains, garbage difficulty, garbage writing, garbage lords, garbage deployment slots, garbage follow up game, garbage quantity over quality enemies! And worst of all, you gave FE to the west. We never should have been given this plague of a series.

One thing you'll hopefully notice assuming you agree with my correct takes is how many of these do not apply to SoHaE. Admittedly, I still don't like the story, but it's sure better, and it does a better job linking lore tied to FE6 than how FE7 did things. Enemies, while really weak for the first 10 chapters, are certainly stronger than FE7 enemies, even on HHM, but aren't spammed against you, most of the time. I'm pretty sure they use triple effective weaponry, and the difficulty as a whole is getting a lot more balanced. The main issue that remains prevalent are these damn promo bonuses, that force me to remember how doo doo dog***t Blazing Blade is! No, no, I'm doing it. D tier game. I'd actually consider replaying Gaiden over it! Look!

There ya go. For anyone who's curious. Most recent update. Left to right. I might've swapped RD and SD after some reconsideration, mostly because of how boring part 3 can be sometimes (Ruben, don't you dare bring up anything), but this is mostly how my tier list has been for a while. Congrats Blazing Blade. They say tier lists make the man, so this must speaks volumes about me. The fact that 3 Houses above a lot of games is probably sad considering how mean I man to it, but I am also a sad person, so it works. No, I won't apologize for liking Birthright. The B stands for based. Don't ask about Awakening. Even I don't know why I like it.

At least I chose to make good use of his 14 defense. The warriors, while strong, only use iron weapons, so Sergei's surging.

The arrow hasn't even touched him yet, but the enemy gaslit themselves into believing that they already died.

That is the most boring level up you could've gotten.

Yaraf finishes the job for Erica, while the armor is still reliving their life as everything flashes before his eyes.

Fire tomes look pretty cool when paused. If only I had more speed. Sergei doubling is a lost cause, but I don't want to bench him because enemies start doubling him. 

I can't give Sergei ALL the xp. I need to see Dorcas reach lvl 20 by the end of this LP.

Yeah, that's to be expected. I wonder how long they'll last. Please don't be 10+ turns. Oh well. This is actually a defeat boss map, so I don't have to worry about it much.

Turn 5: Sexism

What? How can you not double? You have 20 speed! They're not fast, are they?

Not really. The cavs have that much speed. There's no reason I shouldn't be do-

Awesome. Thanks. 

Con should've been left to Kaga. IntSys has no clue how to make this fun on their own. The steel sword has like, 10 weight. Hilarious. She's stuck at 15.

Guess the mani katti is light. That's a great way to waste it.

I like Nikita's sprite. It's elegant.

69 vs 96. If I dealt 21 damage, I would call this guy reverse Dorcas. Reverse Dorcas killed his wife.

If you're thinking "Why don't you have a hand axe? You don't need to swap weapons that way.", you are a big stinky loser. I like trading things around. I swapped a vuln from Saya to Dorcas to Sergei. What I'm doing is mastering the art of utilizing every tool in my arsenal. If I throw a hand axe at someone, that's 10 seconds I have to spend running to pick it up again. They don't fly back like boomerangs, and I can't carry 30 at a time. A bow is a simple. You carry arrows, and use aimbot.

Both of these men have ridersbane, well aware of Saya's ace fighters. 

I'm starting to believe Ruben outright lies about his good units in an attempt to gaslight me into believing that his favorites are based.

Sieks could no longer wait. Like a bolt of lightning, he struck at the archer, killing him before anyone could acknowledge him making a move. Trachina's eyes blurred trying to comprehend what happened, but the archer was already gone.

Trachina needed motivation from Camilla to actually land a hit. I just hope Camilla isn't cheating on Emmy, I think.

As much as I'd like to bait out the wyverns for Vince, they have heavy spears, so having Sieks run there and be danced wasn't an option. My best bet is to have team Dorcas bait them from below, and have team Sieks swoop in right as they strike.

At this rate, my team will catch up with each other in 2 turns.

Turn 6: Who?

Okay, nevermind. 3 turns.

That's a large army. But the armors won't catch up with cavs, and monks are apparently the weakest people in Elibe. Is this a statement against the faithful or something? These aren't morphs or dark mages. IS must've done this as a message. They've clearly given in to Satan given their lust for merchandizing traumatized students that they fully know are being sexualized by depraved fans. Why not introduce even more Edelgard and Bernadetta figures for the jars? God frightens them.

So is this a random mini boss or is this another guy who's brought up in one support from the main games that I'm just supposed to know? 

That's not a clipper. That's a blade. You'd slice the wings, idiot. 

I'm not really using fliers, so this doesn't concern me whatsover. What matters is their lancereaver. They have high avoid and a large crit chance, meaning that my only reliable way to safely kill them is to use the brave axe. All I have to do is wait for them to get closer.

This guy might actually be a problem if I get unlucky, so I want him out of the picture.

I actually land both hits. i could've rescued with Dorcas and finish them off with Nikita if I had to, but perhaps Toby dying lifted some RNG curse from me.

Maybe if I kill Trachina, I'll be even luckier.

On second thought, no. I can bring my team back on turn 7. Let me recruit Gideon next turn. They can probably help. The sooner they're out, the sooner Sieks can wreck havoc. That, and this being a boss kill map gives me the desire to get a good turn count. 

Vince flies down to bring Erica to the south team. She can probably help with the wyverns. In a way, you could say my team reunited this turn. Big Guy is always with us in our hearts.

Erica cannot help with the wyverns. 

Sergei does a great job cooking the horses. This is exactly what I said would make him great in my unit analysis on his join time. A bulky sage that heavily weakens enemies on enemy phase with accurate 1-2 range weapons for others to feed off of. They call me the fortune teller, and I predict that the next FE game will not save this mess of a series.

Spoiler

They remake Binding Blade? You'll get to play as Mark and marry any of the girls that are established to be underaged.

Turn 7: Imagine If I Had A Gambit, hehehehehe

SoHaE cleverly disguises a clear reference to FE6 chapter 7 hard mode.

I need this boss out of the picture. The wing clipper can destroy Gideon, so I can't just get him to aide me, and waiting is too risky, since even if I heal Sergei, the boss will double and probably crit me. It's also a boring move. I really want to go on the aggressive here. 

The cavs were easy pickings. I needed to make room for Dorcas.

There it is. A clean kill. I should've had Dorcas use an elixer last turn, but my HP wasn't low then, and I told myself that I could always use it next turn, forgetting that I already planned to have him fight. I could've had him run left to get danced, then run here, but he'd be one range short of the boss. Lesson learned. Hoarding is cringe.

No death music played, so I can safely assume that this guy cannot be recruited. 

Literally Bartre 2.

It's hard now to imagine how high his stature is since everyone here seems to hate him for some reason.

Bro, did you fall off your wyvern as a child? He's right in front of you!

Me losing faith in America after seeing New Jersey.

This is just equal rights. I don't get it. 

Yes, every enemy, probably including you, are coded to attack Saya, and she's both of those.

Ahh, ahahahahahahh! 

You're so funny, game!!!

F**k you. You're not clever.

Gaydeon, gottem.

Captain of the Dragon Knights of the Kingdom Of Bern. A military man with a refined temperament.

Lance Rank: B   Sword Rank: C

15 across the board. Not too shabby. Certainly better than Travis, that's for sure. His skill could be better, but 15's a great stat to have as a lvl 2 promoted unit. Nikita only has 14 defense and 15 speed, and he's one of my better units. 15 is that specific threshold though where it barely doesn't double a lot of enemies (12 is the average for this point), but some are weighed down enough to be doubled and easily 1RKO'd. I have no idea what his growths are, so I don't know how helpful he is by the lategame, but I imagine these bases will keep him going for a while. Just imagine this guy getting hard mode bonuses. Not that I would do this, but if you obtained a speedwing and gave it to him, he'd totally double for a while, effectively making him an S tier joining unit. Again, 15 certainly can double to an extent, but not extensively, and I don't know when the enemies will get faster. I might wait for someone to tell me his growths to give an official rating, but for now, I might go with A tier. He's a decent prepromote with good ranks, high defense and mobility, and everyone likes flying utility, except for me apparently.

This honestly doesn't make the biggest difference, but it keeps them from killing Arel. If you're wondering why I put Arel there, it was to hopefully bait the 2nd monk after Gideon game ends the first one. I also had him trade Nikita's longsword with a lance, so he wouldn't have the triangle disadvantage against the armors. I thought moderately long and hard about the setup before making any moves, and thus seems mostly reliable. Sergei's fine. Only one armor can reach him, and the monks can hardly scratch him, even though his health is pretty low. Nikita could theoretically die if all 4 baddies hit him, but the wall I built prevents that, unless I somehow crit all the armors, but if that happened, I would take that as a sign from God that I'm too accepting of Ruben's love for science. The only realistic death would be Dorcas, as he is in range of all the armors. He can take the pokes of a steel lance just fine (2 have 22 might, 1 has 24. 32 total damage. He'd live by 3 HP), but just one monk after that will destroy him. Shine is a lot like lemon sqeezed onto a cut. Maybe the monk can just attack Arel, and everything else go swell, but even if not, I'm feeling confident that Dorcas will dodge one attack. It's not because of the armors having bad skill. It's not because I have the weapon triangle advantage. It's because he knew that Emmy would never forgive him if he died here. He has to see her daughter make it through the end of the war, at any costs.

What the hell!?

Why is this man so strong!? Forget Gideon! Let me get this guy! Good thing no one is in his range.

Except Vince.

Fine, I used my dance to save you. You happy? Honestly, your death would've made for great content. Just imagine Gideon's character arc.

Oh look. Trachina did a thing.

I HATE DARK MAGES I HATE DARM MAGES I HATE DARK MA-

I believe in you Dorcas.

They call him the Family Guy.

He actually got a 2nd crit in a row here. Can you believe that?

Turn 8:

I wish I still had my ridersbane. I just have a longsword. If only I had a myrmidon who could use one for easy kills...

Oh of course. I have Saya. 

What makes a flier weak to bows? The fact that I can hit in it the skies? Wouldn't that mean that it should be impossible for any other weapon to touch them? 

So I completely neglected the villages. Awesome. That's at least one turn I have to waste going back to the ones on the southwest towns. 

Finally. The Sielker Lanse

I should look on the bright side. She reached B in Satanism. Soon, she can use Fenrir....and lose 14 SPEED!!!

Spoiler

Ohh, that's another thing I forgot to bring up about reasons why a divorce is a better experience than FE7! Bad weapons! They only have 13 con in FE6, which still sucks! But hey, you could use it! FE7 also invented luna, so that whole rant is FE7's fault! The only good thing about weapons, and FE7 in general, is just having better hit rates than FE6. I'm glad I'm not missing every other attack, but let's just make everything heavier or weaker to compensate! Except for killer weapons. They actually made them worse! Only 5 accuracy worse, but don't you worry! They nerfed classes to have less crit! Who even likes those animations! You're just going to kill them without crits anyways. Let's just remove the satisfaction of a crit killing what was otherwise a bulky enemy (FE6 hard) by making everyone goombas! People just want to see Lyn flashing about every now and again while sweeping the 20 enemies that literally anyone can kill! It's not like FE6 balanced high crit classes by mostly having those classes exclusive to player characters for the hilarious moments to completely decimate enemies with Gonzales using buyable killers to have that same power fantasy, but actually done well with enemies that are strategically challenging to surpass for the player! Boss berserkers do suck though...but I'll take crappy bosses over crappy everything else any day of the week! 

You got this Dorcas.

He missed.

Turn 9: So Close

I'm only one town away from getting all the rewards. If I had gotten one of them earlier, or if I had someone focus on heading down since turn 7, then I easily could done this map in 9 turns. Well, 10 seems to be the magic number for most of these, because I'm a 10 out of 10 .

Now he's faster than Gideon. Really, the+8 HP is probably the main kicker for Nikita being better. This man is basically a mounted warrior. That sounds cool. A bow knight that can use axes. That's one thing I'll give PoR credit for. I can do that.

Can we just make archers even worse than the fanbase already perceives them? Just make it impossible to attack the enemy if an ally is in the way. That would be funny.

I wish every FE game was like RD. I want to see curates bonk me with a staff. That probably could kill Saya.

Since I don't want to kill him immediately, I choose not to attack. This man should be embarrassed that I'm actively going easy on him, but he won't, because he likely rose to power from political powers going easy on him.

Oh right. I didn't bring this up yet. Why does this man have a great lance? It's cool I suppose, but it's odd to suddenly introduce the weapon here. I guess it's a Pherae thing. Wait, am I in Pherae? I already forgot.

Turn 10: Worth The Wait

That's good.

Wha- Oh that's good, why that's very good. Yes, I like that.

Exquisite.

Spoiler

Don't make promises I won't keep.

Saya is not having it.

Oh- Pffft! Ahh, that's rich.

This just screams "I ship Hector with Florina!". I don't care myself, but it's funny to know that people actually have wars over this. This sentence smells like cope, even if it's meant to be an innocent line or maybe a translation thing.

Damn.

That's what you said about the fort Dayan was in. We'll be fiiine.

"of the Bern Kingdom?"

Just use a restore staff, idiot.

Literally everyone playing this knows that he isn't. He has to die in FE6, unless this game was happening at the same time this whole time. but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case.

Oh, they're making that lady who was at the beginning a gaiden chapter recruit. Gotcha.

Arel thinks that we should skip it. More time on this LP is less time to play 3 Hopes, and that's more time I risk getting spoiled.

Saya's justification hinges on letting our army rest while the few active ones fight in the castle, but this game has no fatigue system.

Great map. I was a bit crazy with Nikita, but I enjoyed the gameplay quite a bit. There were plenty of ways to go about the map, and I had fun with going all out with Sergei and Dorcas. The mistakes were on me, and the large wave of reinforcements on turn 6 was surprisingly manageable considering that it's 9 people in one square. I like how the wingclipper makes you cautious with recruiting Gideon, and him having a lancereaver can encourage player phase fighting before he can switch, as it lets you bypass the annoyances of enemy swordmasters (crit and dodge). I'm grateful that it's a defeat boss map (brigands appear back at the beginning on turn 10). I don't know how else to elaborate, as I mostly wish to praise the enemy positioning, which I personally feel mostly speaks for itself. The enemies are moderately challenging, but not to a scary degree, which is best for a game likely angled at players with moderate FE skills. Killers and reavers prevent you from charging in with OP units if your plan is to solo the game, and such are handled where you can gain the upper advantage (bows can be attacked at 1 range). I suppose there isn't really enough of a reason to go upwards. You can send your whole team left and the map would probably be easier. You can just enter the north village as you're getting near the boss. You get plenty of time before the brigands arrive. I'm not sure I want to give it an 8/10, but I'm an FE fan, so I'm desperate to be unfunny. I give it a 7.76/10.

 

Edited June 25, 2022 by Shaky Jones

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

 On 6/22/2022 at 3:13 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

in the LP which Reuben linked

Reuben did what? No, Reuben is still in his cage in the basement. I linked that. Please take care not to make that mistake ever again.

59 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ruben, how many kinks are there in Vestaria 2?

Y'know, the usual. Mind-control is there, kidnapping is there, arbitrary and forced damsel-in-distress moments are there.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ruben just likes chicken tenders a bit too much. 

...What? What's that even mean...?

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'd like to hear you do better.

I bet you would. But guess what, you don't get to. Life sucks, get over it.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

To be fair, it's usually the old people that have no hesitation to be incredibly hateful. And racist!

Fair point.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I swear I'm not trying to make an argument. I'm saying that my mind, for whatever reason, dismissed him as a guy on a throne, and I just thought the pillars were thrones, clearly not paying attention. It's why I'm so angry over it. I know it's my fault, but it feels like I had every reason to believe I was safe. 

In short: Git gud.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yeah, but...I hate FE7.

Well, I hate Three Houses and I still like Hanneman.

...Only for Three Gorges to make him unplayable for absolutely no fucking reason. Fuck Fodderland, I'm so sick of it.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

What's the problem?

You know what? Never mind, boneman. Never mind.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yeah, but most people who aren't forum users arguing about bad design like us just see any map that has a siege or status staff and immediately call the map awful garbage. Pretty sure my casual IRL friend who sorta plays this series would despite FE6 and Thracia. We don't, meaning something is deeply wrong with us.

Ahh, nothing wrong with that. We can like whatever we want, it's a free country. Mine is, at least. Yours kinda too.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I guess I'm just more prideful, which basically means I'm an arrogant a**hole.

Yes.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Besides, you have your sig. Be proud of that. Brag about how correct you are!

Of course! I am always very proud of my scrubs.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Except warrior Yubello, that's a lie. 

Warrior Yubello is the rightest I've ever been.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

What is that Lysithea lookin-ass hairdo?

You mean Lysithea's hairdo is lookin-ass like this chick's. This game came out way before Three Shites.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

So she's a journalist or bystander. Sounds about right.

More like the heir to the March of Tania lol.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Why is it seen as evil when Bern does this, but then I'm expected to forgive Britain?

Jones, you're a United Statesman. You don't get to "forgive" anyone for meddling in foreign affairs.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Are you talking to me? Mark's not in this game? Am I Saya? Are you telling her that you can level up? She's not gonna know what that means. You must be talking to me. This man knows the 4th wall!

Arel once caught the reflection of the real world on his forehead.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Some people hate Glower in NM for being really strong, but at least it doesn't have crit or laughably awful accuracy. It's supposed to be intimidating.

Helps that there's like, four glower tomes in all of NM.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

You can tell that this will be one of the harder maps, as it features the destructive duo, Borcas and Dartre.

They aren't as strong as Casdor and Trebar, but they could wallop Sacrod and Ertrab any day.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

That said, I'm afraid Fritz will have to sit this one out. If we could have nice things, I'd bench Trachina, but I respect Ruben, despite how mean I am sometimes.

Awwww. That's so nice of you.

I will never let you live this down.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Before I begin, I need to upgrade Erica. The killer bow has 7 con, and I'd like her to damage enemies without getting weighed down. Ruben's lucky enough that I'm using Trachina at all. I'm sure Anon would not want me wasting it on her, although he'd probably ask it to be used on Feeler. Just be glad I'm using it on unpopular archer. It's a much more based class than science mage. Also, I need to prove that one guy from chapter 13 of FE6 wrong about the body ring making girls unattractive. What's that all about? With this, her stats will increase exponentially. That's infinitely more attractive, and I refuse to let Ruben fantasize Trachina with muscles.

I like this headcanon you've made up about me having the hots for Trachina.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Nevermind. They're going FE7 mode.

To be fair, those reinforcements included a miniboss, as you later found out, so... Maybe he did take your advice to heart?

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Turn 1: Quick Warning. I Rant About FE7 A Lot More This Chapter

Good. Fuck FE7. Blazing Sword, more like Blabbering Word.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I can't wait for Sergei to promote. I could really use a 2nd healer. Trachina could be a 3rd healer eventually. Maybe I'll just promote her immediately. She'd probably do much better as a staffbot anyways. Staves don't have weight, unlike the consequences of her actions that led to her being jobless and stuck living with her mom.

Imagine if you weren't using Trachina. Who would you hate on?

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Sending Otto to the north was a mistake. This path is clearly the scary one. The others have Sieks. They'll be fine.

Give me Otto's statsheet, you sack of bones. Didn't you have enough with Boris?

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

The divorce toughened him up quite a bit, hence the sturdiness and authoritative traits. Him being slow is why the divorce happened.

...That could mean a number of things. None of them good.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

1*2? That's awful. But I proc'd rend heaven twice, landing a critical strike on both hits. 

Every time I read the words "rend heaven" I have fond flashbacks to a generic bossman murdering the shit out of a pineapple.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I knew it. Sieks did intentionally miss. He was very considerate for the growth of others. It's like Matthis and Tomas all over again. Or Matthis and Sheema.

Yeah, exactly. Sieks understands that a FE run without growth units is dull. And his life is dull enough.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Erica, having a crush on Sieks, displays her archery skills by popping the fighter's left nested egg. It made me a bit uncomfortable to see in GBA sprites, but Sieks got a laugh out of it.

Now that's just a wack ship.

I dig it.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh.

This is the power of communism.

1 damage eclipse.

Think about it. One more, and he could've died to eclipse.

Eclipse.

GBA eclipse.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Can we talk about how stupid Tania sounds as a faction name? I would quit my job. You guys are the laughing stock of Lycian knights. I would wish for you to get bullied by getting wedgied and hung up to a pole, but you're all adults, so I'll wish for the adult equivalent of that. Crucifixion.

C'mon, you're too mean. They didn't choose to have their homeland be named so stupidly. It was the FE7 writers that did that.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I almost wish this game used regular GBA promo items. I could've made jokes about the guiding ring being a sort of wedding ring.

Plot twist: The hack originally kept regular GBA promo items, but then the hacker realized that meant Former Husband would get a ring, so he overhauled the entire system to prevent this.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Of course! No skill or speed! 

WHAT THE HELL WOULD I NEED THAT FOR!?? Nahhh, just give me 1 magic and call it a day! 

Ahhh, FE7 promo gains. Always so lovable.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I might've swapped RD and SD after some reconsideration, mostly because of how boring part 3 can be sometimes (Ruben, don't you dare bring up anything)

Why would I bring up anything? I agree! Part 3 is my least favorite part in the game. At least part 4 lets me distribute the Dawn Brigade scrubs among the three teams to break the monotony. Part 3 is godly badasses murdering things while I watch and wish I were playing an engaging videogame instead.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

No, I won't apologize for liking Birthright. The B stands for based.

You shouldn't. Birthright is Fates at its worst, but it's still Fates, so it's bette rthan half of FE. Even though it doesn't deserve to be.

...Ah, but it has Setsuna in it, so I forgive it for the relative lack of Garon. Not to mention the Siegfried x Elise scene. The shit-eating grin I get every single time I think of that scene isn't even remotely normal, there's something wrong with me.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

The arrow hasn't even touched him yet, but the enemy gaslit themselves into believing that they already died.

They tried to deflect it by calling upon the holy powers. They surrounded him in protective light, but as it turns out, the gods aren't that powerful.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Turn 5: Sexism

Oh no.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I like Nikita's sprite. It's elegant.

It's a nice palette.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

If you're thinking "Why don't you have a hand axe? You don't need to swap weapons that way.", you are a big stinky loser. I like trading things around. I swapped a vuln from Saya to Dorcas to Sergei. What I'm doing is mastering the art of utilizing every tool in my arsenal. If I throw a hand axe at someone, that's 10 seconds I have to spend running to pick it up again. They don't fly back like boomerangs, and I can't carry 30 at a time. A bow is a simple. You carry arrows, and use aimbot.

That's a lot of words to justify poor inventory management.

It's all right. I, too, hesitate to give 1-2 range weapons to folks with bow access. It just doesn't feel right, I mean, they can just use bows to attack from afar!

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'm starting to believe Ruben outright lies about his good units in an attempt to gaslight me into believing that his favorites are based.

I didn't quite finish that run, so she would've been even better by the end.

Her A support with Erica and B with Rabi helped considerably, too.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Sieks could no longer wait. Like a bolt of lightning, he struck at the archer, killing him before anyone could acknowledge him making a move. Trachina's eyes blurred trying to comprehend what happened, but the archer was already gone.

That's a good point, actually. What in the world happened here? Computer software isn't a guy with a camera taking pictures, you can't tell me the emulator moved and that's why the image came up wrong. So what happened?

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Trachina needed motivation from Camilla to actually land a hit. I just hope Camilla isn't cheating on Emmy, I think.

Probably no reason to worry. Emmy is too manly, Trachina doesn't stand a chance.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

So is this a random mini boss or is this another guy who's brought up in one support from the main games that I'm just supposed to know? 

Random miniboss. KagaSaga gets you used to these. Starting with Berwick Saga, Kaga threw a ton of named enemies into his maps. It gets pretty ridiculous in some parts of VS2 - The first map alone has 7 named bosses! The creator of this hack was clearly a Kaga fan. You can tell for multiple reasons.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I actually land both hits. i could've rescued with Dorcas and finish them off with Nikita if I had to, but perhaps Toby dying lifted some RNG curse from me.

Former Husband being the Former... unable to doubleman?

To be fair, he is up against a siege tome user.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Maybe if I kill Trachina, I'll be even luckier.

No.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ahh, ahahahahahahh! 

You're so funny, game!!!

F**k you. You're not clever.

You know who isn't clever? The entire army of Bern. None of them could figure out that their boss was a nihilistic maniac hellbent on the destruction of the entire human race, up to and including themselves. If anything, this just makes Gideon and Sadsack overthere the most intelligent people in the country.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Captain of the Dragon Knights of the Kingdom Of Bern. A military man with a refined temperament.

Lance Rank: B   Sword Rank: C

15 across the board. Not too shabby. Certainly better than Travis, that's for sure. His skill could be better, but 15's a great stat to have as a lvl 2 promoted unit. Nikita only has 14 defense and 15 speed, and he's one of my better units. 15 is that specific threshold though where it barely doesn't double a lot of enemies (12 is the average for this point), but some are weighed down enough to be doubled and easily 1RKO'd. I have no idea what his growths are, so I don't know how helpful he is by the lategame, but I imagine these bases will keep him going for a while. Just imagine this guy getting hard mode bonuses. Not that I would do this, but if you obtained a speedwing and gave it to him, he'd totally double for a while, effectively making him an S tier joining unit. Again, 15 certainly can double to an extent, but not extensively, and I don't know when the enemies will get faster. I might wait for someone to tell me his growths to give an official rating, but for now, I might go with A tier. He's a decent prepromote with good ranks, high defense and mobility, and everyone likes flying utility, except for me apparently.

Frankly, I just like his stache.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

What the hell!?

Why is this man so strong!? Forget Gideon! Let me get this guy! Good thing no one is in his range.

He fights for his family. He has four children and a sick wife to take care of. His love for them empowers him.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Except Vince.

Oho.

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

Fine, I used my dance to save you. You happy? Honestly, your death would've made for great content. Just imagine Gideon's character arc.

Aww...

1 hour ago, Shaky Jones said:

I HATE DARK MAGES I HATE DARM MAGES I HATE DARK MA-

Huh. How unfortunate.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

They call him the Family Guy

No, that's what they call Frost.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Now he's faster than Gideon. Really, the+8 HP is probably the main kicker for Nikita being better. This man is basically a mounted warrior. That sounds cool. A bow knight that can use axes. That's one thing I'll give PoR credit for. I can do that.

Nikita is quite the man, but Gideon's stache stat is still far greater. It lets him buy things for so cheap at stores!

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Can we just make archers even worse than the fanbase already perceives them? Just make it impossible to attack the enemy if an ally is in the way. That would be funny.

No. It wouldn't.

Make the arrows go through allies and hurt them too instead.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh right. I didn't bring this up yet. Why does this man have a great lance? It's cool I suppose, but it's odd to suddenly introduce the weapon here. I guess it's a Pherae thing. Wait, am I in Pherae? I already forgot.

Tania is one of the bordering territories with Pherae. So not quite, but almost.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wha- Oh that's good, why that's very good. Yes, I like that.

One helluva Saya, if I do say so myself. Congrats on that.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Literally everyone playing this knows that he isn't. He has to die in FE6, unless this game was happening at the same time this whole time. but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case.

Actually, it is. Fairly certain it starts before FE6, but at this point Roy's already taken off.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Saya's justification hinges on letting our army rest while the few active ones fight in the castle, but this game has no fatigue system.

She's learning from her hero Sieks. Gotta spice things up, lest life become much too dull.

2 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Great map. I was a bit crazy with Nikita, but I enjoyed the gameplay quite a bit. There were plenty of ways to go about the map, and I had fun with going all out with Sergei and Dorcas. The mistakes were on me, and the large wave of reinforcements on turn 6 was surprisingly manageable considering that it's 9 people in one square. I like how the wingclipper makes you cautious with recruiting Gideon, and him having a lancereaver can encourage player phase fighting before he can switch, as it lets you bypass the annoyances of enemy swordmasters (crit and dodge). I'm grateful that it's a defeat boss map (brigands appear back at the beginning on turn 10). I don't know how else to elaborate, as I mostly wish to praise the enemy positioning, which I personally feel mostly speaks for itself. The enemies are moderately challenging, but not to a scary degree, which is best for a game likely angled at players with moderate FE skills. Killers and reavers prevent you from charging in with OP units if your plan is to solo the game, and such are handled where you can gain the upper advantage (bows can be attacked at 1 range). I suppose there isn't really enough of a reason to go upwards. You can send your whole team left and the map would probably be easier. You can just enter the north village as you're getting near the boss. You get plenty of time before the brigands arrive. I'm not sure I want to give it an 8/10, but I'm an FE fan, so I'm desperate to be unfunny. I give it a 7.76/10.

Classic Kaga rating. Love to see it.

 

[AnonymousSpeed]

Spoiler

  

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Says the Binding Blade fan

Accuracy is bad, so you only use iron.

I'm also a Conquest fan, where weapon ranks all start at E if you reclass and build super-slow unless you abuse dual strikes. Strange how that works out.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Yes, I want Conquest, but Garon actually wins. Bro, it's literally in the lyrics of the damn rout. Embrace the dark.

Spread the Nohrian way to the world.

Not that Edelgard was justified anyway. She'd probably use reddit if she were alive today.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Nothing wrong with giving it a shot. That said, I don't really focus too much on stories to begin with. What series we talking? Fire Emblem? Something else? Storytelling as a whole? The answer to all of these is The Last Promise.

Give me a time, place, and/or private message and we'll work out the details.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

The Black Fang are admittedly some of the better parts of FE7. I mostly prefer the Bern arc of the game (it's the only enjoyable part imo), and Linus and Lloyd are sorta cool. I'm sure you'd find a way to add onto their lore without incorporating everything that ruins them. Man, I hate morphs, and Nergal.

Well, the idea was that there was a factional dispute between the assassins committed to the organizations original purpose and the dark mages committed to arcane research which Nergal introduced when he infiltrated the group. I considered an Aran-Sampson thing where you can recruit the leader of one faction, but the original vision was that they were both villains and both died, though the leader of the cultists did outlive his Camus-esque rival.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

You just have the jar.

I have many jars. The mason jar is a Southern symbol.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Once again, what? I see IP and think of addresses. Is Silver Moon a game? A romhack? An interactable story?

That...is probably a good sign, but I meant like Intellectual Property. Silver Moon does not actually exist, that's a joke. I could probably make an RPG Maker game around the idea, though.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

I'll be laughing when you suffer from kidney stones.

Been there, done that. I have adjusted by hydration accordingly.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Funny Footsteps plays

It's worse than the theme that plays when Cath shows up.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

You give me sadist vibes. Not like kinky stuff. Just actual torture.

It's a proud Protestant tradition. I don't actually like torturing people, by the way. I can be a little squeamish in real life.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Okay, you can both go in a cell.

SoulWeaver would be a good cell mate, I think. We'll debate theology.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Excellent. We will raid IntSys headquarters for definitive proof of the FE17 leaks. If there is no proof, we'll forge evidence. We'll add our own small details.

I actually like Toothpaste-chan's hair, so I kind of hope it is real.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

How about I steal your liver?

Double-plus un-based.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Just kidding. You're integral to this operation. You're the chloroform provider.

I am getting paid for this, right?

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

No offense pink guy.

Bring it on.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Something tells me I'm never coming back out.

C'mon. The food's not that good.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Yeah, but he's actively fantasizing having them locked up in some cage, then shooting them in front of loved ones. That's the vibe I got the last time I checked.

Okay first up-

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Yeah, but most people who aren't forum users arguing about bad design like us just see any map that has a siege or status staff and immediately call the map awful garbage. Pretty sure my casual IRL friend who sorta plays this series would despite FE6 and Thracia. We don't, meaning something is deeply wrong with us.

We'll get over it, probably.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

That is so much worse.

"We don't even have a basement."

"Hm. Alright, can we get a really big jar?"

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

I don't understand these words. Me dumb.

The Marques of Tania is on his way to Binding Blade Chapter 3, where he will certainly be killed. In his absence, the pro-Bern faction of Tania's knight launched a coup, hoping that it would prevent him from returning and reclaiming rule over the march.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

I can defend other critical weapons, such as archers with killer bows (which this chapter features), as it mostly serves to promote player phase attacks.

Interesting note on map design, I like it. I never thought of it that way, even if it describes how I handle situations like that.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

I respect Ruben

How'd you manage that?

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

I'm sure Anon would not want me wasting it on her, although he'd probably ask it to be used on Feeler.

That's actually the one statbooster which is of no use to him. It would actually make him worse because he'd be harder to rescue, which reminds me that the Elibe remakes should have Pair-Up.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Also, I need to prove that one guy from chapter 13 of FE6 wrong about the body ring making girls unattractive.

Holy heck. Is that a canonical line of dialogue?

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

It turns out that he's just a redditor.

Shaky, I want to take this chance to tell you how good God is. God can even forgive redditors. That's how powerful He is.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

A bit off topic, but I loved the Devil Axe in Anon's rebalance patch. I don't care that it's unreliable. A strong axe with 100 hit is too good to pass up. Bartre was a monster. Even when he got cursed, he lived. Of course, it was terrifying on the enemy's hand, but at least Gonzales wouldn't miss. Oh yeah, he also added a brave sword, but I didn't use it. I have a brave bow. I'm good.

Thanks Shaky, glad you had fun.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

D tier game. I'd actually consider replaying Gaiden over it! Look!

Gaiden does have that rockin' boopy soundtrack, but the promotion bonuses are even worse than in FE7, except when villager promotes to mercenary.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

No, I won't apologize for liking Birthright. The B stands for based. Don't ask about Awakening. Even I don't know why I like it.

Birthright has Oni Chieftans. Awakening? I don't know, people just like it for some reason. Can't say why, but it must be cool, because people I respect like it.

Anyway, cool tier list.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

I like Nikita's sprite. It's elegant.

I like the brown shield.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

69 vs 96. If I dealt 21 damage, I would call this guy reverse Dorcas. Reverse Dorcas killed his wife.

Poor Natalie.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

But the armors won't catch up with cavs, and monks are apparently the weakest people in Elibe. Is this a statement against the faithful or something? These aren't morphs or dark mages. IS must've done this as a message. They've clearly given in to Satan given their lust for merchandizing traumatized students that they fully know are being sexualized by depraved fans. Why not introduce even more Edelgard and Bernadetta figures for the jars? God frightens them.

They should be frightened of Him, for the exact reasons you gave.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

They remake Binding Blade? You'll get to play as Mark and marry any of the girls that are established to be underaged.

Case in point.

"Cath is 18 in this version."
"Maeda-sama, Cath looks exactly like she does in the GBA game."
"Canonically. 18."

I should note that every time an anime girl is stated to be 18 (like in Doki Doki Literature Club), it is exclusively to put at ease the minds of the porn artists.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Me losing faith in America after seeing New Jersey.

Yeah, can't disagree with that. I hate to force people to live in New Jersey, but the infection must be contained.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

This is just equal rights. I don't get it. 

This is what you get when equity is a goal of your ethical system.

Anyway, did you know about all the exciting ways NATO is making its spaces more inclusive this Pride Month?

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Ahh, ahahahahahahh! 

You're so funny, game!!!

F**k you. You're not clever.

We're never going to see that plot-point brought up or resolved in this game, so they might as well throw that in.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

I HATE DARK MAGES I HATE DARM MAGES I HATE DARK MA-

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

What makes a flier weak to bows? The fact that I can hit in it the skies? Wouldn't that mean that it should be impossible for any other weapon to touch them?

Yeah, but that would suck and be super-duper un-fun. Bonuses are more fun than penalties, so they just made bows more effective. It also conveniently limits the units who ignore terrain effects entirely.

On 6/25/2022 at 3:45 PM, Shaky Jones said:

Oh- Pffft! Ahh, that's rich.

This just screams "I ship Hector with Florina!". I don't care myself, but it's funny to know that people actually have wars over this. This sentence smells like cope, even if it's meant to be an innocent line or maybe a translation thing.

I don't know, given the general semi-awkward translation, I can easily accept this as something which is supposed to leave it ambiguous just how close Hector and Lyn were. It should also be noted that Saya doesn't know who her father is, but thankfully there's no OnlyFans in Elibe so she channels that angst into sword techniques.

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Reuben did what? No, Reuben is still in his cage in the basement. I linked that. Please take care not to make that mistake ever again.

No.

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...What? What's that even mean...?

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Only for Three Gorges to make him unplayable for absolutely no fucking reason. Fuck Fodderland, I'm so sick of it.

The setting has nukes just to taunt us with how close its complete annihilation is.

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You mean Lysithea's hairdo is lookin-ass like this chick's. This game came out way before Three Shites.

It might be the original, but they're both still bad.

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I like this headcanon you've made up about me having the hots for Trachina.

"made up" says Ruben, chuckling nervously as the sweat rolls down his forehead.

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...That could mean a number of things. None of them good.

Sergei has no children.

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Every time I read the words "rend heaven" I have fond flashbacks to a generic bossman murdering the shit out of a pineapple.

Yo, do you use Basara Haitaka?

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

C'mon, you're too mean. They didn't choose to have their homeland be named so stupidly. It was the FE7 writers that did that.

Wasn't Tania on the Elibe map from FE6 too?

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

there's something wrong with me.

You play Fire Emblem.

On 6/25/2022 at 5:51 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You know who isn't clever? The entire army of Bern. None of them could figure out that their boss was a nihilistic maniac hellbent on the destruction of the entire human race, up to and including themselves.

How many of those soldiers actually got to interact with Zephiel though? As long as his sycophantic generals handled PR, they wouldn't even notice. It's not like the Black Dragon Unit even shows up in FE6. Why am I even debating this?

all my eggs

gone

[Shaky Jones]

Holy Cannoli! It's been over 3 months! What has Shaky Jones been doing all this time? Well let me tell ya. Taking a long needed break from Trachina. That broad has costed me the loss of at least 17 braincells, so I took a long vacation. One can only take so many DM's from Ruben begging them to give every stat booster to his favorite unit while insulting your country. Genuine horrible man there. Nearly drove me off Serenes. Anon barely kept me sane enough to stay. Now I'm on medication. Thanks Ruben.

Seriously though, a lot happened. The amount of drafts this post went to with the intro starting off with my thoughts on a recent thing is insane, but it's all outdated now. To sum it up, 3 Hopes is New Jersey tier, the triple A gaming industry is mid, Engage kinda promising, and I'm actually on medication. Not for mental health though. Just my back. It's been shaking and aching. My mental health is one bad take away from making a life ruining post on Serenes.

Ruben didn't actually do anything significant. We recently shared Marcus praising from an FE6 I just did. This was also a part of my much needed break from this. SoHaE features FE7 stuff from its engine. I needed a reminder on what good Elibe is like. Now I'm back to remind myself once more on how bad FE7 is.

Replies: are pretty pointless now. I doubt any of us remember our own conversations anymore, but yes. Edelgard absolutely would be a redditor.

Chapter 16x: Selfish Desire

Spoiler

 Le Cutscene:

Spoiler

Good

But not good enough.

*limted ads

That's what the text says. Sorry for cutting it off. It was very annoying, but it sure beats the 4+ ads on Twitch, amirite fellas?

Well, who is your father?

Is that your dad?

Forgive me. I was a fool to make that assumption. You don't have any of his attractive traits.

Did you just call her out as a white woman?

I wanted to twist this as Red Lysithea being a racist, but having just played fe6 again, I love being racist against dragons. 

No, Lydia's already been taken out to the trash. 

He is seen as broken and malfunctioned for having a will, refusing to do what he was created for. This is why he calls himself garbage and a failure. 

What's your excuse?

You get used to the idea when you realize that most of us are objects to higher powers.

The average FE fan.

They are. Humans aren't weak to wyvernslayers, except Corrin. Do not approach a war dragon just because one of them was nice.

The manakete kindly shuts off the conversation after realizing that she is using him for Twitter clout.

Good. More xp for me. Why is the game telling me that their arrival is a game over?

I can only think of one map where soldiers surrender on their own in the middle of the map.

Rescue greens, time limit map, AND FoW. 

This is preferable to an average 3 Houses map.

Preparations: Overused FE7 Joke

Trust? Well that's asking a lot of me. I hardly trust any of them.

Sieks? I don't trust him at all. He'd kill me the moment I'm too dull for him. Arman's a thief. Trachina is Trachina, and Nikita has blown up 3 building while I was away from the game. I trust like, 3 people here, which is probably more than Anon trusts IRL or the number of people in Teehee who trusts Ruben when he says he doesn't like anime. To be fair, he does like a loli from Triangle Strategy, so even I have doubts.

Eliza. That's her name. Terrible cut my g. 

Well there's an alternative if Sergei's divorced wife comes back to kill Sergei from death by alimony fees. Who's the other gu-

Oh.

Oh...

This was the real main reason I stopped posting. I felt groped and needed 3 months of therapy to cope. I really would not want to be the defenseless sage trapped with a prisoner named Feeler, the man that Anon and Ruben really seem happy for me to use, which is very concerning. Ironically, Feeler is the bigger victim in this case, so this presents a great lesson in judging people by their appearance and name/background. Instead, you judge them based on their room décor. One Funko Pop, and I'm creating an alt account dedicated to your downfall.

Since we're checking them out, let's pull out their statsheet.

Daughter of the Marquess of Tania. Strong-willed despite her noble birth

Anime Rank: B   Staff Rank: E

I hate you. Why is your speed higher than Sergei? I would comment on the 4 defense, but dealing with Elen's 3 defense makes me accustomed to glass cannons, except Eliza's magic is best described as mid. E staves is unfortunate. That's usually the main appeal of prepromoted sages. Now you're boring. Still somewhat useful. An aircalibur could let her double against steel enemies and deal decent damage. If her speed growth is good, she could be a great combat unit. I don't like her though. Low B tier.

War dragon created from a Demon dragon. Was supposed to be disposed of because of his disobedience

Weapon Rank? No

Typical to the manakete class in most games, their main buff is defense, mostly balanced out by their bad HP base given their jointime. On some games, it's broken, like Sacred Stones. Myrrh's defense, even at chapter 16, is usually enough to take virtually no damage from unpromoted enemies, and it only takes a few kills to become nearly invincible to most attacks, making her poor speed a minor setback. For someone like Tiki, she's donion rings in FE11+FE12. The divinestone bonuses mean nothing again 14*4. Even lower non normal difficulties tend to obliterate manaketes. Most Kaga FE dragons kean towards the "nearly indestructible" unit for the first half of the game, such as through Bantu's relatively early jointime with great defense. Given the unlimited stone uses in FE1, he's actually a decent unit for a long time. When you get Tiki, she gets 20 whole defense. She can still die easily, but is salvageable with a dracoshield or 2, or just a couple of paladin kills on the Macedon arc. FE3 has a great balance with how dragons have a mostly fixed stat and deal fixed damage, making dragons a great chip damage dealer. Don't ask me how good Nowi is. I've never entertained the thought of using her. Kurthnaga's kinda mid. Nasir angers me purely from the RNG requirement it takes to get him. Given the context of this game, Feeler stands on a certain middle level, but the base design is much more in line with Kaga design. First of all, his stone that you get later has unlimited uses, much like FE1 Bantu. You don't need to worry about him breaking his weapon and losing the one thing that makes him usable. It also helps that the stone actually has great hit rate, and it cuts through enemy defense like in FE3 (FE6 manaketes simply deal high damage). I will assume that Feeler has horrible growths, so he will likely also serve as a tank who is great at enemy phase, but can easily serve as a decent player phase unit with a solid 25 damage he can deal to even enemy generals. 6 speed is bad and Feeler is likely to be consistently doubled, which is presumably the intended method of balancing his defense. The average enemy deals roughly 24 damage. Unless the enemy is particularly strong, Feeler will survive at least 2 battles, although a promoted enemy could sweep him easily. If you can make him either not get doubled or go all out on his defense, you could give him amazing long term potential. I reckon skill and strength aren't an issue you need to worry about. I think he could easily be both good or bad. An angelic robe or dracoshield would be a priority if I wanted to use him. I'm unsure if he'll fall off much or not, but I used Bantu in FE12 before. I think I know how to make a unit good. I'm actually gonna rate Feeler B tier. Yes, I think FE1 Bantu is A tier. Genuinely a really cool part of the game. I still prefer FE3 though, because I'm normal and prefer a silly UI over none at all.

That's a lot of chests. And I only get 18 turns to open all of them and seize the throne while still having time to save the prisoners. This could be one of the only times FE might give a competently strict turn limit.

Turn 1: Return to Sieks Emblem

I cannot fail the tradition. 

I'm glad the game was nice enough to put them just out of range from between these fighters. I was half expecting Sieks to be in range of 2 hammer users. Funnily enough, this isn't something that comes from Kaga design, but traumatized me back with Sacred Stones.

Kaga is much more direct about nerfing Dalsin.

While it disgusted me to put a lvl 20 unit in range of an enemy, she's the best one to use against them. This usually doesn't stop me from using weaker units, but archers can't counter here, and Trachina would've likely casted flux on herself and die.

Excellent. 5 xp for Nikita.

Turn 2: I Can't Lose

Many Tanians use poison weapons in the dark to give us an edge, since going all out with good tools while already crippling our vision is cheating, and they would feel no satisfaction from killing us.

I really shouldn't have trusted the 84 hit, but I got away with it. I don't want to let this encourage risky plays though. I care for my audience and would not want to negatively influence you.

This is why I'm telling you now to not vote in the next presidential election. Don't do it. 

Why did you go for Nikita? Saya was right there. She couldn't counter. She has less defense. 

Of course. Saya probably gives them under 50 hit, which hurts their true hit. Their AI is more sophisticated than one guy I know. 2 guys actually.

But why though? 1 damage. Surely Saya was a better choice.

Turn 3: It's So Funny

Yaraf creates the perfect setup for Arman

I have just one query

Armanuts too much for you?

Yaraf made the perfect punchline possible.

While the setup paid off, the joke nearly kill him, so he needed a prayer to be brought back to reality.

I feel like I'm forgetting something here, but I'm pretty sure there's nothing odd about bishop Otto healing someone that needs clarifying. Moving on.

Did you know my last Roy was actually able to 1RKO hard mode enemies even at the late Ilia arc? That's gotta be impressive for Roy standards. Dude actually never fell off. 

I began thinking back on the old days of using Grape and Rostov. Thank God I avoided them. Grape was cool, but then he turned out to be a self insert for Ruben, and Rostov is an abomination of mankind. Nikita. You're doing the lord's work.

Glad I didn't give up on Erica. I lost Wolt in the fe6 ironman, and refuse to use Rebecca in FE7 runs. This absolves me. 

Do you guys like Rebecca at all? I know Ruben likes Dorothy. I love Will. Next time I play FE8, I'll use Neimi, because if I don't, my unit bias will come back to haunt me when I'm inevitably accused of being a sexist.

Sieks rarely misses the 60 hit hits. This is a result of not letting the fake number psych you out. 

Turn 4: Ya Got Gorshed

 After Saya and friends cleared a path, Arman sneaks his way through the dark, sneakily pilfering enemy goods for personal gain. However, all that he unlocked was a staff for unlocking locks. Gifting someone an unlock staff is a very offensive gesture in Elibe, and is occasionally used to troll thieves one has managed to outsmart. 

SoHaE is very similar to 2RNG, but it also adds or removes hit depending on how awesome you are. 

Wait a minute...

Ridersbanes have 7 might in FE7? Oh my f wording...

I will not use the lord's name in vain while in Anon's presence, so I will ask Ruben to say it for me, as Spaniards are Godless beings. But seriously. 7!? This goes back to the weapon rant last chapter! It's 11 might in FE6. And it has more hit! Higher hit in the bad hit game! What do you gain from nerfing it like this, WHILE ON THE SAME GAME THAT GOT DOUBLE EFFECTIVE DURING LOCALIZATION!? You don't get an accuracy buff when using it against cavs! You just wanted to make it worse, and that's the minor issue. Why 7 might!? Do you WANT your hits to feel unsatisfying? You went from 33 might...to 14. I don't even remember if SoHaE uses 2 or 3 times, but I'm not even thinking about that. I just can't fathom these changes. It's supposed to be a threatening weapon. It terrifies players form abusing their paladins and feels great on players when deleting enemy cavs. It's not really too broken when the thing only has 16 uses. It's a scarce resource. In FE7, it will either not be enough to kill in the early game, or irrelevant because you kill with anything regardless in the late game, and in the game with enemy phase heck, those 16 uses are going to break faster than a Twitter user realizing that neither Dimitri or Claude are gay.

I can't go one damn post without ranting on FE7. It's not worth making snarky comments every other screenshot when my nuts are flicked constantly by a reminder why my opinions are more important than everyone else. Apologies for the unpleasant imagery, if you can even imagine it on a skeleton.

Just die so I can move on.

Oh right. I remember what I was going to say. I wonder if the armors in this chapter are stationary. They're all at or near a chokepoint. My money's in that if this hack was made nowadays, it would tell me that they don't move, and Lydia's growth list display would show "You're using her because Female Hero and are a very boring person".

Despite my disdain for the awful hit rates with FE6's throwables, I found myself using hand axes much more than javs. I love axes. That said, seeing 80s on these is disturbing. It's no longer a nice feeling, but paranoia. Perhaps I'm missing the debatable utility of shaky ranged weapons.

Nope. F**k misses. 

Turn 5: What Goes Around Comes

As Arman stared into the underwhelming contents of the chest, his mind momentarily went blank, too filled with rage to focus on anything else, until his brain gave up on him. As such, he failed to notice that in the chest was a device that informed soldiers of his location, meaning that Arman was now surrounded by Tania knights, or as they said to Arman: "Tania nuts".

The joke is that Arman gets no tan on his-

The level scaling still balances at around 12, which it has been doing for a while, and the stats are somewhat lower than FE6 hard mode, but the promo gains are so bad that you don't really get to obliterate them just because you have a cool new sprite. The game's midgame difficulty is best described as an exact middle-ground between FE6 normal and FE6 hard. Considering how the early game felt like a slightly easier FE6 normal, perhaps the lategame will be roughly FE6 hard tier. Probably not, but it can't be any crazier than TLP lategame. Holy Cannoli, that is something else.

If I am lucky, both Trachina and Nikita miss, and I can blame the RNG for her death next turn. I can't pull a 2nd Lydia. It has to be genuine.

Damn it.

If I was one point away, I'd start praising forged weapons as a mechanic in other FE titles. Instead, I'll rant about 3H. Why can I not name my forges or even determine how it is forged to any degree? Silver+ is bland. If I want to forge an iron bow by 4 might, minus 1 weight, and call it M1911A1, then that is my decision to do so.

I lost Geese to a purge tome in FE6 a couple of days ago. I will take that res and pray to it. I bought so many killer axes for the guy...

F**k Lilina

Turn 6: Does Anon Like 100 HP Walls

Sieks respects Tania's privacy by knocking but asserts his authority by coming in anyway.

That's a lot of Tanians. Heroes are usually some of the scariest classes you can encounter in GBAFE, not because of their solid speed and bulk, but because they received a personality result of Protagonist (ENFJ) on a funky website and base their entire personality around believing they are the perfect good boy human being. 

Yaraf aides Arman from the embarrassment that was the soldiers who pointed and laughed at him last turn. Arman is now being sent to rescue potential allies. If they refuse to fight for us, he can kill them and loot Eliza's robes. 

Oh

= 0

 

Well crap nuggets. I don't know if thieves count, but I can't risk losing another thief. But there's no unit nearby that can rescue him out. Big Guy is blocking the way and he's too Big a Guy to be moved aside.

I'm a genius. I can't lose in this scenario. 4% crit? Go on. I dare you. 

So close.

Of course you miss the warrior.

Turn 7: Notice Which People Hit and Miss 

You only miss when you don't plan for a miss. My plan was to let them kill Trachina if I can't hit.

Calling her bad would be an overdone joke quickly if it wasn't for the fact that she is aggravating to use. I could be using both my archers man.

Camilla does survive a hit, so operation buh bye bad class mage was still there. I didn't need it though. Yaraf is hungry for growth.

No worries white...

I am obligated to at this point.

Spoiler

How I be looking at soldiers when they hit me with the dollar store lance

Turn 8: Imagine If Engage Has A Bantu Ring

It's Feeling time.

Oh my goodness gracious, that sounds awful. I'd be worried about going to Hell for that, but I'm already dead. Instead I spend my eternity in a place that is NOT the Tower of Valni.

The moment FE makes throwing through walls prohibited for realism, I'm writing an essay over why games focusing on realism is a bad thing. Most of this essay will be me ranting about Genealogy being bad over the desperate attempt to make fights feel like real war battles with its horrible enemy positioning, and the accuracy of homosexuality being an unwelcome concept in medieval times given the correlation between trading items and romance in FE4, causing men to refuse to trade with one another.

Thief trading represents the hidden gay urges many had that is kept away from history books. 

Otto bestows the secluded man with the feeling of serenity. The holy light soothed away the hatred within himself and opened up the bottled emotions he had locked away under his armored shell. This caused his severe anxiety disorder to clash with the unsettling feeling of calmness, causing him to puke and have a heart attack and a panic attack simultaneously.

Against all odds, Erica not only lands the 8% hit, but procs the 3% crit as well, dealing damage.

No vengeance was had that day. Unlike most stories of fiction, justice is rarely served in this cruel world. In the real world, no one has managed to make me pay for what I've done.

Turn 9: Foreign

Because I don't speak Axis Powers, I couldn't and refused to gain access to merch.

Instead, I ordered chest keys from Amazon and requested for an immediate delivery. Coincidentally enough, Arel is an employee there already. He is not paid enough to afford retirement.

I don't want Sieks stealing all the kills, but who else here can fight them off? I'm not arming Eliza.

Turn 10: They Call Me Shanty Pete's 2nd Mate

This is supposed to be Eliza's weapon.

This will not be Eliza's weapon.

What?

I recall asking Ruben if this chapter had a secret shop. He said no. I don't believe him. It is tradition that you introduce the member card in the first map where you can use it in. Either Ruben is lying, or this game is a travesty. If anyone knows when the actual first shop is, let me know. 

Turn 11: We Do A Bit Of Plundering

I am currently trying to recover from severe hiccups. It's not funny. It's hurting. My chest feels ripped apart. Why is this happening to me? My heart is about to stop. Arg, my fragile masculinity. Defeated by frail hiccups. Not even a belch arising from a hangover, or lung cancer. 

Speed blessed. Strength screwed. I'd drop them if I were Tania. Trust me. I've used Shanna. There's more to life than speed.

Does one drink pure water or splash themselves with it? I would be really embarrassed if I drink holy water one day and die spontaneously, but I'd also like to survive a house fire.

He'll be fine.

I got FE6 Marcus to frequently have perfect avoid against axe users with Roy support. Without Roy support, it was usually around this. Rutger is not needed for dodge tanks, and neither is this guy

A soft hearted mercenary with a penchant for dexterity. Proud of the fact that he never runs out of food.

Sword Rank: C

What a horrible unit. 11 speed? How can I double with that? And only 6 defense, that's only 2 away from Eliza. There was no thought put into this loser. What? You like not running out of food? Who cares? Sounds like you're desperate for any recognitions, since you can't actually fight you soft hearted bi-

If poison was poisonous, he would be dead. Instead, I fathom the alternate dimension where the 17 hit axe guy actually got me. I would be raging so hard, but even I'm not that unlucky. Statistics favor his survival, but it also claims that dark mages such as Raigh and Knoll are doomed to an early sentence of eternal torment in hell from their luck stat. I've bullied the dark mage lover enough in this post, so all I will say is that there is still time for redemption.

Turn 12: Hit and Hit

Even archers need some bulk. To tell yourself that you don't need exercise because you're a scholar is to feign ignorance to your own potentials.

I armed her. Unfortunate.

I swear to science, if any of you tell me to use Eliza, there will be Fodlan to pay.

Yes yes, I get it. Speed's your thing. You have 4 con! Everything weighs you down! It's FE7 tomes! You have no magic! Eliza is infinitely better than you, and so is Sergei. I only prefer you over that loli *****. You're mage Shanna, but worse! And you're in a boring class! With slow a word animations! At least a few fliers look great in combat, like that golden gal in TLP.

Juno is also based. Not as a fighter. As in her political compass.

Top kek

In case you haven't figured it out, I was referring to Trachina being the only person who misses partially shaky hits. The only exception was Nikita once with the sniper

but he's more than made up for it. If you already forgot what I'm talking about, you have dementia, which I find hilarious.

Turn 14:

Here it is. Narcian's weapon that you always forget about because you one shot him with a legendary, probably with Rutger Durandal you damn casual.

It's not that I hate casuals. I hate everyone who doesn't play like me, and most elitists hate FE6 archers.

His honest reaction to Saya's arrival at his doorstep.

Somehow, she got 1 crit and missed the other attack

giving me the perfect kill

Exquisite.

Turn 14: Dude Those Hiccups Were Killing Me. It Went On For Hours. I'm Writing This the Next Day.

Oh boy I wonder who I'll give this to.

Don't say Feeler or I'll feel you.

That was gross to say. I would never do that to you. I'm way out of your league.

4 turns to spare. Not bad. I haven't praised myself in a long time. The voices are not kind to me, and I only get manipulated by others from them talking to the voices more than they do to me, like when Ruben openly asked the voices to make me use units he likes. You're just the kindest old man.

Le Ending:

Spoiler

If it were not for me, you would now be in someone else's digestion.

Feeler. He would've gone dragon mode and eaten her. 

I'm not given a choice. 

Racism...bad? AMAZING STORY!!! I love her character!

Feeler destroys his character of not wanting to fight by fighting anyways for gameplay purposes.

He gets it.

The Tania family uses Androids over Iphones.

Good for them.

Okay maybe there was a little too much Spaniard attacking here, but it's been so long. What better way to test out my posting abilities again than using them as a test subject? That's why we had internment camps for the Japanese in the 40s. My apologies Ruben. You only deserve some of the bullying. I would go harder on Anon next time, but he's anonymous. I got nothing on him.

You're too open about your Touhou music love.

If I don't complete this LP, then I'll be the guy who's only finished 1 of 3. If I ever start a 4th, it'll be very hard to trust that I'll complete it. I can't let that happen. Besides, it wasn't my fault that I stopped. It was 3 Hopes. Screw that game. I'm giving that game ALL the blame. Point all your frustration or disappointment of absence to 3 Copes. 

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

 16 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Holy Cannoli! It's been over 3 months! What has Shaky Jones been doing all this time? Well let me tell ya. Taking a long needed break from Trachina. That broad has costed me the loss of at least 17 braincells, so I took a long vacation. One can only take so many DM's from Ruben begging them to give every stat booster to his favorite unit while insulting your country. Genuine horrible man there. Nearly drove me off Serenes. Anon barely kept me sane enough to stay. Now I'm on medication. Thanks Ruben.

Ah, coming back with force, I see.

16 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

There he is. The myth, the legend. Not the man, for he is a war dragon.

17 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Did you just call her out as a white woman?

Pretty sure it's supposed to be something like "pale one" or whatever. But the fantastic translation that brought us gems like Juno Shapiro could do no less than this.

18 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

The average FE fan.

Based FE fans: "A tool that cannot fulfill its role, is a funny meme. I will give them all of the statboosters and experience."

19 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Trust? Well that's asking a lot of me. I hardly trust any of them.

But Sieks--

19 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Sieks? I don't trust him at all. He'd kill me the moment I'm too dull for him.

Ah... yes. That is true. Sieks would definitely murder those he considers unworthy due to excessive dullness.

19 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I trust like, 3 people here, which is probably more than Anon trusts IRL or the number of people in Teehee who trusts Ruben when he says he doesn't like anime.

I keep saying it, they just refuse to listen!

19 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

To be fair, he does like a loli from Triangle Strategy, so even I have doubts.

You fucking--

20 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well there's an alternative if Sergei's divorced wife comes back to kill Sergei from death by alimony fees. Who's the other gu-

Oh.

Oh...

Surprise!

20 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

This was the real main reason I stopped posting. I felt groped and needed 3 months of therapy to cope. I really would not want to be the defenseless sage trapped with a prisoner named Feeler, the man that Anon and Ruben really seem happy for me to use, which is very concerning. Ironically, Feeler is the bigger victim in this case, so this presents a great lesson in judging people by their appearance and name/background. Instead, you judge them based on their room décor. One Funko Pop, and I'm creating an alt account dedicated to your downfall.

Since we're checking them out, let's pull out their statsheet.

Or, he's called Feeler because he's the only war dragon that is able to feel. But sure, whatever rocks your boat, pal.

21 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Daughter of the Marquess of Tania. Strong-willed despite her noble birth

Anime Rank: B   Staff Rank: E

I hate you. Why is your speed higher than Sergei? I would comment on the 4 defense, but dealing with Elen's 3 defense makes me accustomed to glass cannons, except Eliza's magic is best described as mid. E staves is unfortunate. That's usually the main appeal of prepromoted sages. Now you're boring. Still somewhat useful. An aircalibur could let her double against steel enemies and deal decent damage. If her speed growth is good, she could be a great combat unit. I don't like her though. Low B tier.

Fun fact: Her magic growth is 75%. She's a prepromote Est, for no reason at all.

21 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

War dragon created from a Demon dragon. Was supposed to be disposed of because of his disobedience

Weapon Rank? No

Typical to the manakete class in most games, their main buff is defense, mostly balanced out by their bad HP base given their jointime. On some games, it's broken, like Sacred Stones. Myrrh's defense, even at chapter 16, is usually enough to take virtually no damage from unpromoted enemies, and it only takes a few kills to become nearly invincible to most attacks, making her poor speed a minor setback. For someone like Tiki, she's donion rings in FE11+FE12. The divinestone bonuses mean nothing again 14*4. Even lower non normal difficulties tend to obliterate manaketes. Most Kaga FE dragons kean towards the "nearly indestructible" unit for the first half of the game, such as through Bantu's relatively early jointime with great defense. Given the unlimited stone uses in FE1, he's actually a decent unit for a long time. When you get Tiki, she gets 20 whole defense. She can still die easily, but is salvageable with a dracoshield or 2, or just a couple of paladin kills on the Macedon arc. FE3 has a great balance with how dragons have a mostly fixed stat and deal fixed damage, making dragons a great chip damage dealer. Don't ask me how good Nowi is. I've never entertained the thought of using her. Kurthnaga's kinda mid. Nasir angers me purely from the RNG requirement it takes to get him. Given the context of this game, Feeler stands on a certain middle level, but the base design is much more in line with Kaga design. First of all, his stone that you get later has unlimited uses, much like FE1 Bantu. You don't need to worry about him breaking his weapon and losing the one thing that makes him usable. It also helps that the stone actually has great hit rate, and it cuts through enemy defense like in FE3 (FE6 manaketes simply deal high damage). I will assume that Feeler has horrible growths, so he will likely also serve as a tank who is great at enemy phase, but can easily serve as a decent player phase unit with a solid 25 damage he can deal to even enemy generals. 6 speed is bad and Feeler is likely to be consistently doubled, which is presumably the intended method of balancing his defense. The average enemy deals roughly 24 damage. Unless the enemy is particularly strong, Feeler will survive at least 2 battles, although a promoted enemy could sweep him easily. If you can make him either not get doubled or go all out on his defense, you could give him amazing long term potential. I reckon skill and strength aren't an issue you need to worry about. I think he could easily be both good or bad. An angelic robe or dracoshield would be a priority if I wanted to use him. I'm unsure if he'll fall off much or not, but I used Bantu in FE12 before. I think I know how to make a unit good. I'm actually gonna rate Feeler B tier. Yes, I think FE1 Bantu is A tier. Genuinely a really cool part of the game. I still prefer FE3 though, because I'm normal and prefer a silly UI over none at all.

I like how you've written more about Feeler than any other unit in the game. Which is fair enough, because he's the coolest unit in the game.

Just a quick note: His dragonstone bypasses defenses. He may not double, but he'll dish out a mean punch to anybody.

28 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

While the setup paid off, the joke nearly kill him, so he needed a prayer to be brought back to reality.

This is a way speedier Yaraf than any I've had. You should celebrate that, at least.

28 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I feel like I'm forgetting something here, but I'm pretty sure there's nothing odd about bishop Otto healing someone that needs clarifying. Moving on.

Oh come on...

28 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Do you guys like Rebecca at all? I know Ruben likes Dorothy. I love Will. Next time I play FE8, I'll use Neimi, because if I don't, my unit bias will come back to haunt me when I'm inevitably accused of being a sexist.

I will merely accuse you of being unbased. I mean, if not Neimi, who do you use? Innes? Pfft, a sniper. How normie-like.

29 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wait a minute...

Ridersbanes have 7 might in FE7? Oh my f wording...

I will not use the lord's name in vain while in Anon's presence, so I will ask Ruben to say it for me, as Spaniards are Godless beings.

God and Christ, both on a bike!

30 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I can't go one damn post without ranting on FE7. It's not worth making snarky comments every other screenshot when my nuts are flicked constantly by a reminder why my opinions are more important than everyone else. Apologies for the unpleasant imagery, if you can even imagine it on a skeleton.

To be fair, you're completely right here. Effectiveness was butchered in 7, and it's a big part of why 7's archers are among the worst in the series.

31 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

It can't be any crazier than TLP lategame. Holy Cannoli, that is something else.

C A P P E D   B O S S E S

31 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

F**k Lilina

Never took you for a lolicon

38 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Sieks respects Tania's privacy by knocking but asserts his authority by coming in anyway.

Exact damage. You love to see it.

39 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

= 0

You link the strangest things sometimes.

39 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'm a genius. I can't lose in this scenario. 4% crit? Go on. I dare you. 

Christ.

39 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

So close.

Hah! I win.

39 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ah yes. I see you're a Breaking Bad fan. You have their brand of humor.

40 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's Feeling time.

Oh my goodness gracious, that sounds awful

Don't worry, mate. It's not perversion, it is merely cooking people alive so they die a slow, agonizing death. Much better!

41 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Nikita keeps on being the unsung MVP. He doesn't talk much, he just does what he's gotta do.

42 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

What?

I recall asking Ruben if this chapter had a secret shop. He said no. I don't believe him. It is tradition that you introduce the member card in the first map where you can use it in. Either Ruben is lying, or this game is a travesty. If anyone knows when the actual first shop is, let me know. 

Next chapter.

42 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Does one drink pure water or splash themselves with it? I would be really embarrassed if I drink holy water one day and die spontaneously, but I'd also like to survive a house fire.

Given the animations, either they sprinkle it, or they're just really really bad at drinking things.

42 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I got FE6 Marcus to frequently have perfect avoid against axe users with Roy support. Without Roy support, it was usually around this. Rutger is not needed for dodge tanks, and neither is this guy

A soft hearted mercenary with a penchant for dexterity. Proud of the fact that he never runs out of food.

Sword Rank: C

What a horrible unit. 11 speed? How can I double with that? And only 6 defense, that's only 2 away from Eliza. There was no thought put into this loser. What? You like not running out of food? Who cares? Sounds like you're desperate for any recognitions, since you can't actually fight you soft hearted bi-

If poison was poisonous, he would be dead.

Okay, that actually got me. this was the last thing I expected to see. Amazing.

43 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yes yes, I get it. Speed's your thing. You have 4 con! Everything weighs you down! It's FE7 tomes! You have no magic! Eliza is infinitely better than you, and so is Sergei. I only prefer you over that loli *****. You're mage Shanna, but worse! And you're in a boring class! With slow a word animations! At least a few fliers look great in combat, like that golden gal in TLP.

I mean, yeah, she's pretty bleh. But I'm forcing you to use science. Hail science, unbeliever.

44 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh boy I wonder who I'll give this to.

Feeler.

44 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Don't say Feeler or I'll feel you.

Fine. Trachina.

You brought this on yourself, Shaky.

45 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

The Tania family uses Androids over Iphones.

Fun fact: You're allowed to lose this map. As in, if oyu run out of turns, it's not game over. Saya and Arel merely leg it outta there, abandoning Eliza and Feeler if they were not rescued. More importantly, however, the gold is lost in this event. I like it, being allowed to fail a map and continue is something you don't see it... pretty much ever in this series.

46 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Okay maybe there was a little too much Spaniard attacking here, but it's been so long. What better way to test out my posting abilities again than using them as a test subject? That's why we had internment camps for the Japanese in the 40s. My apologies Ruben. You only deserve some of the bullying. I would go harder on Anon next time, but he's anonymous. I got nothing on him.

It's all right, Shaky. I too enjoy being mean to me.

46 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

You're too open about your Touhou music love.

Fuck you, Touhou music good.

 

47 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

f I don't complete this LP, then I'll be the guy who's only finished 1 of 3. If I ever start a 4th, it'll be very hard to trust that I'll complete it. I can't let that happen. Besides, it wasn't my fault that I stopped. It was 3 Hopes. Screw that game. I'm giving that game ALL the blame. Point all your frustration or disappointment of absence to 3 Copes. 

Yes. Fuck Fodlan. Engagelandia good.

[AnonymousSpeed]

Spoiler

  

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I doubt any of us remember our own conversations anymore

I do.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

No, Lydia's already been taken out to the trash.

The dragon is racist against dragons.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The average FE fan.

Lydia couldn't fulfill her role, and that's why you killed her.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The manakete kindly shuts off the conversation after realizing that she is using him for Twitter clout.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Did you just call her out as a white woman?

 

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I can only think of one map where soldiers surrender on their own in the middle of the map.

Oh yeah, Percy's paralogue. I've been having trouble with that one. Any tips?

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I trust like, 3 people here, which is probably more than Anon trusts IRL

I'm flattered.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

or the number of people in Teehee who trusts Ruben when he says he doesn't like anime. To be fair, he does like a loli from Triangle Strategy, so even I have doubts.

 

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

This was the real main reason I stopped posting. I felt groped and needed 3 months of therapy to cope. I really would not want to be the defenseless sage trapped with a prisoner named Feeler, the man that Anon and Ruben really seem happy for me to use, which is very concerning. Ironically, Feeler is the bigger victim in this case, so this presents a great lesson in judging people by their appearance and name/background.

He is called feeler because he feels feelings in his heart. The fact that English doesn't distinguish between emotion and physical sensation there is quite awkward at times.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Daughter of the Marquess of Tania. Strong-willed despite her noble birth

Anime Rank: B   Staff Rank: E

Oh yeah, I forgot how middling her stats are. For a unit with such bad staff rank, you think she'd have more obviously powerful combat. Her class and weapons are great though, so it kinda balances out? Pre-promotes shouldn't (usually) be unironically better than trained units anyway, for balance purposes.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yes, I think FE1 Bantu is A tier. Genuinely a really cool part of the game.

Bantu is cool. Kaga-ketes are really interesting units, very underrated and not present in enough ROM-hacks.

Feeler, with his high defense and consistent damage, is a fun unit. His bases are so low but his caps so normal that statboosters could actually make him kinda busted. And yes, his growths are poopy.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Trachina would've likely casted flux on herself and die.

Aw, that clumsy Trachea!

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is why I'm telling you now to not vote in the next presidential election. Don't do it. 

"You guys are pretty cool. Don't pokemon-come to the polls tomorrow."

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Do you guys like Rebecca at all? I know Ruben likes Dorothy. I love Will. Next time I play FE8, I'll use Neimi, because if I don't, my unit bias will come back to haunt me when I'm inevitably accused of being a sexist.

No.

Dorothy is cool, though. Wil is perfectly fine. He can kill a couple pegs in his joining chapter, which is more valuable than all the chip damage Rebecca will ever contribute. Neimi has a fast support that is good and can get a horse on promotion. Rebecca has none of that.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Gifting someone an unlock staff is a very offensive gesture in Elibe, and is occasionally used to troll thieves one has managed to outsmart. 

Thieves cannot use staves but can already use lockpicks, making it an extra funny prank to play.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I will not use the lord's name in vain while in Anon's presence

Thank you, God bless you friend.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I will ask Ruben to say it for me, as Spaniards are Godless beings.

Indeed. I know a guy who's dating a Spaniard. I pray nothing happens to him (she's Catholic, but aside from that I Know Nothing).

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

And it has more hit! Higher hit in the bad hit game! What do you gain from nerfing it like this, WHILE ON THE SAME GAME THAT GOT DOUBLE EFFECTIVE DURING LOCALIZATION!?

Gratuitously FE7 moment.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You went from 33 might...to 14.

It's weaker than a Silver Lance. Hilarious.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's not worth making snarky comments every other screenshot when my nuts are flicked constantly by a reminder why my opinions are more important than everyone else.

That sounds pretty annoying, but definitely better than stapling your testicles to a moving train.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Lydia's growth list display would show "You're using her because Female Hero and are a very boring person"

Right, unless the FE7x crew made it, because showing growth rates is for filthy fateswakening babies.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Instead, I'll rant about 3H. Why can I not name my forges or even determine how it is forged to any degree? Silver+ is bland. If I want to forge an iron bow by 4 might, minus 1 weight, and call it M1911A1, then that is my decision to do so.

The only real weakness of Fates is that it's forge mechanic is kinda blegh.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

= 0

RIP the guy in the video, he was a real childhood hero.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'm a genius. I can't lose in this scenario. 4% crit? Go on. I dare you.

I am honestly shocked she survived. Congratulations for your quick thinking!

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Turn 8: Imagine If Engage Has A Bantu Ring

Please. Don't give me hope.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's Feeling time

The Mighty Feeling Feeler Rangers.

My favorite part of Feeler was when Shaky Leto said "It's Feelin' Time" and feeled all over those guys.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh my goodness gracious, that sounds awful. I'd be worried about going to Hell for that, but I'm already dead. Instead I spend my eternity in a place that is NOT the Tower of Valni.

It's so bad. I'm adding it to my repertoire.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The moment FE makes throwing through walls prohibited for realism, I'm writing an essay over why games focusing on realism is a bad thing. Most of this essay will be me ranting about Genealogy being bad over the desperate attempt to make fights feel like real war battles with its horrible enemy positioning, and the accuracy of homosexuality being an unwelcome concept in medieval times given the correlation between trading items and romance in FE4, causing men to refuse to trade with one another.

Thief trading represents the hidden gay urges many had that is kept away from history books.

Realism in games is like the plot. Get that nonsense away from my gameplay.

Thieves are naturally effeminate, of course.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

causing him to puke and have a heart attack and a panic attack simultaneously

and die

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Against all odds, Erica not only lands the 8% hit, but procs the 3% crit as well, dealing damage.

A+ tier

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

No vengeance was had that day. Unlike most stories of fiction, justice is rarely served in this cruel world. In the real world, no one has managed to make me pay for what I've done.

If hell isn't real than everything is permissible moment.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Instead, I ordered chest keys from Amazon and requested for an immediate delivery. Coincidentally enough, Arel is an employee there already. He is not paid enough to afford retirement.

Nor will he ever, no matter how many catheters he goes through to avoid taking breaks from his job.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I don't want Sieks stealing all the kills, but who else here can fight them off? I'm not arming Eliza.

Of course not. Everyone knows it's a mistake to arm w-

uh

nothing

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

If anyone knows when the actual first shop is, let me know. 

There's a resource Ruben links to in the FEU thread that has them listed.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Why is this happening to me? My heart is about to stop. Arg, my fragile masculinity. Defeated by frail hiccups. Not even a belch arising from a hangover, or lung cancer. 

It's punishment for the things you've done that other people couldn't make you pay for.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

There's more to life than speed.

One must also have anonymous.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Does one drink pure water or splash themselves with it? I would be really embarrassed if I drink holy water one day and die spontaneously, but I'd also like to survive a house fire.

C'mon, aren't you from a Catholic background? You gotta know that it's for sprinkling. You sprinkle it on yourself.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Sounds like you're desperate for any recognitions, since you can't actually fight you soft hearted bi-

bigot

boris the bigot

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Even archers need some bulk. To tell yourself that you don't need exercise because you're a scholar is to feign ignorance to your own potentials.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You're mage Shanna, but worse! And you're in a boring class!

She can't even flier utility, though Shaman is kinda neat to be honest.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

slow a word

Thank you.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Trachina being the only person who misses partially shaky hits

Aw, she misses you Shaky, that's sweet.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

His honest reaction to Saya's arrival at his doorstep.

This might make a good reaction image, actually.

Would you rather recruit this guy or Eliza?

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Don't say Feeler or I'll feel you.

Women lining up at Shaky Leto's door to say "feeler".

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Feeler destroys his character of not wanting to fight by fighting anyways for gameplay purposes.

Pretty standard ludonarrative dissonance for FE, really.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

That's why we had internment camps for the Japanese in the 40s.

We had them for Germans in WW1 as well. It was simply fashionable back them.

23 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

My apologies Ruben. You only deserve some of the bullying. I would go harder on Anon next time, but he's anonymous. I got nothing on him.

You're too open about your Touhou music love.

So yeah, the black robot from Mighty No. 9 is kinda hot.

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pretty sure it's supposed to be something like "pale one" or whatever. But the fantastic translation that brought us gems like Juno Shapiro could do no less than this.

Let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of argument, it's Wario time- I mean, I use rescue-drop.

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Which is fair enough, because he's the coolest unit in the game.

Again. More manaketes in hacks, please.

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

God and Christ, both on a bike!

Christ on a bicycle, God on a unicycle, and the Holy Ghost on a tricycle. That's what we call the trinity, son.

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah yes. I see you're a Breaking Bad fan. You have their brand of humor.

*better call saul

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Don't worry, mate. It's not perversion, it is merely cooking people alive so they die a slow, agonizing death. Much better!

Well, I mean, what, would you rather be molested than assaulted?

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Feeler.

Ruben is gonna get molested.

22 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fun fact: You're allowed to lose this map. As in, if oyu run out of turns, it's not game over. Saya and Arel merely leg it outta there, abandoning Eliza and Feeler if they were not rescued. More importantly, however, the gold is lost in this event. I like it, being allowed to fail a map and continue is something you don't see it... pretty much ever in this series.

That's honestly really cool, I like that a lot. More things other hacks should borrow.

I, too, am excited for Engage. If I don't have enough space for "Toothpaste-Chan", hopefully "Colgate-Chan" will fit.

Honestly, I think the break was kinda nice. Got me re-invigorated for replying.

Edited October 1, 2022 by AnonymousSpeed

[Shaky Jones]

Replies:

Spoiler

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

There he is. The myth, the legend. Not the man, for he is a war dragon.

It matters not, for what is a man?

You tell me. I want to know if you have the correct depiction.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Based FE fans: "A tool that cannot fulfill its role, is a funny meme. I will give them all of the statboosters and experience."

Birthright is too easy because it has Ryoma! What do you mean you're using Setsuna? Why? She's bad. Use Ryoma.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You fucking solved it. I am a tsundere.

I won't tell the teehee lads.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Or, he's called Feeler because he's the only war dragon that is able to feel. But sure, whatever rocks your boat, pal.

But feel-er! It's vocabulary! Worker is one who works. Drinker is one who drinks. Feeler is a crime. Surely there's a better way to state that he feels emotions than that of all names. You think of the word as an action, not simply feeling emotions. It's your fault!

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fun fact: Her magic growth is 75%. She's a prepromote Est, for no reason at all.

Well now I hate her.

She ain't no Sheema. Get outta here you failed prepromote.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Just a quick note: His dragonstone bypasses defenses. He may not double, but he'll dish out a mean punch to anybody.

I can't believe Ruben doesn't actually read every individual sentence of my long posts. I brought this up twice in the paragraph, right when tying his relation to FE3 design, but then your brain was filled with "Grrr. UI bad! Game bad!". What a pity.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I will merely accuse you of being unbased. I mean, if not Neimi, who do you use? Innes? Pfft, a sniper. How normie-like.

Bow Ross. 

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

God and Christ, both on a bike!

Thanks 

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

To be fair, you're completely right here. Effectiveness was butchered in 7, and it's a big part of why 7's archers are among the worst in the series.

I blame 7 for archers getting the rep of being unusable garbage. Enemy phase game with double effective damage. I know old FE archers tend to have the worst bases, but when those wyverns are coming for you, you really value those archers, especially in dsfe (NM Lunatic early game do be Warren's time to shine). Archers are fun, but not when the game isn't built around them having any kind of versatility whatsoever. 

Now they're seen as great because 1-4 range. 

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

C A P P E D   B O S S E S

Athares's 20 strength cap depresses me. He fell off lategame because the average enemy has like 50 HP and 15 defense. Tekun killed it though. Rex obliterated. Shon cried himself to sleep while Tamiko does the frontline fighting for him.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Never took you for a lolicon

You fucking shitstain

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah yes. I see you're a Breaking Bad fan. You have their brand of humor.

I see funny face. I laugh. I see a meth addict. I break bad. I get sued in court? I call Saul. It's so funny. 

If you don't laugh, you'll find out why they call me Slippin Jones.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Next chapter.

That's great. Why the hell didn't they give to me THEN? Incompetent devs know NOTHING about this series. 

This is a joke to the possible 3 people that read this as one of their first posts of mine.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, that actually got me. this was the last thing I expected to see. Amazing.

I am delighted to hear it.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, yeah, she's pretty bleh. But I'm forcing you to use science. Hail science, unbeliever.

🤓

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fine. Trachina.

You brought this on yourself, Shaky.

I'm never asking for your input again. I will go out of way to ask for anyone except you. I'll go to a discord server and post my army just to get a different opinion, then get banned because I posted on general instead of the romhacking discussion board.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fun fact: You're allowed to lose this map. As in, if oyu run out of turns, it's not game over. Saya and Arel merely leg it outta there, abandoning Eliza and Feeler if they were not rescued. More importantly, however, the gold is lost in this event. I like it, being allowed to fail a map and continue is something you don't see it... pretty much ever in this series.

How do you know that? Don't tell me the Ruben lost?

Hee hee hee Ha! I laugh at you!

That is pretty cool, but not as cool as me.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:42 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fuck you, Touhou music good.

Next you're going to tell me Live A Live is great.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I do

You would.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Lydia couldn't fulfill her role, and that's why you killed her.

You get it.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

 

W take

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Oh yeah, Percy's paralogue. I've been having trouble with that one. Any tips?

Excessive replicate player phase actions.

This is not a safe way to play, but I tend to play Conquest very aggressively. I haven't played that chapter in a long time, so forgive my lack of guidance. Please ask Ruben. I hear he is a tactician who has fought many battles and occasionally wins.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

He is called feeler because he feels feelings in his heart. The fact that English doesn't distinguish between emotion and physical sensation there is quite awkward at times.

Feeler is a nickname a prisoner would get. 

Or a teacher.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Feeler, with his high defense and consistent damage, is a fun unit. His bases are so low but his caps so normal that statboosters could actually make him kinda busted. And yes, his growths are poopy.

I'll make him work. I'm Shaky Jones.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

No.

Based

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Thank you, God bless you friend.

I thank you, and may God be the only one you are not anonymous to.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

It's weaker than a Silver Lance. Hilarious.

A silver lance has 14 might. Because of double effectiveness, this is apparently the highest you can get out of a lance without the legendary that you get only on endgame. You can get a brave lance on battle before dawn though, which thankfully been left identical to its Fe6 counterpart. The horseslayer nerf is unforgivable though. I loved using it in FE6. Marcus 1RKO'd so many cavs.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Right, unless the FE7x crew made it, because showing growth rates is for filthy fateswakening babies.

Of course. My favorite Fates feature. Visible growth rates. Every casual player knows the growths of all Fates units.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Please. Don't give me hope.

All we can do is hoe until we cope.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

My favorite part of Feeler was when Shaky Leto said "It's Feelin' Time" and feeled all over those guys.

This is going to haunt me.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Realism in games is like the plot. Get that nonsense away from my gameplay.

Without realism, how can use video games as escapism by immersing myself in a reality outside the real world where I'm not legally allowed to attack NPC's I don't like?

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

If hell isn't real than everything is permissible moment.

Solipsism moment

I feel no guilt for there is nothing I truly know but me

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Of course not. Everyone knows it's a mistake to arm w-

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

It's punishment for the things you've done that other people couldn't make you pay for.

Damn. I am in Hell. This is it. Engage will suck. There will be an FE4 remake. I will continue to hear only complaints of FE12. And I can't get away from the internet because there is no freedom. Everything is a toxic addiction that gets me controlled.

Well it's fine because I'm the only person that exists.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

C'mon, aren't you from a Catholic background? You gotta know that it's for sprinkling. You sprinkle it on yourself.

Sorry I don't have holy water lying around in the living room. i must've forgotten my lectures back in Catholic school 14 years ago. How could I be allowed to forget?

If I did have holy water, my cat would've knocked the container holding it endlessly.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Aw, she misses you Shaky, that's sweet

I will never feel her.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Would you rather recruit this guy or Eliza?

Dude, no question. Of course I'd recruit Aylmer! Look at him. Excellent jawline. Better HP and res. Same speed and magic. Sure, less luck, but how can say no to his smile?

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Women lining up at Shaky Leto's door to say "feeler".

But why? It wouldn't feel good being felt by a skeleton. At best, it would tickle you. At worst, I grow weary of your flesh and tear it off to see the skeleton. I plan to feel your bones. Skeletons aren't attracted to skin.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

So yeah, the black robot from Mighty No. 9 is kinda hot.

Who is that?

This would've been the part where I google it and judge you accordingly, but I can't find after 75 seconds of googling it. I felt like the wiki showed more than one black robot. Help me out here.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

*better call saul

I dunno. Breaking bad has my favorite seen where Walter and Better Call Saul try calling Anonymous Lee, who I figured you know. Unless...YOU'RE Anonymous Lee.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Well, I mean, what, would you rather be molested than assaulted?

My bones could use a stretch. Shaky Leto the feeler might as well hold his end of the bargain to the former women at my doorstep. 

This is a horrible bit.

On 9/30/2022 at 10:51 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I, too, am excited for Engage. If I don't have enough space for "Toothpaste-Chan", hopefully "Colgate-Chan" will fit.

Last time I played 3 Houses, I named Byleth: 3 Houses. This transferred to 3 Hopes, so I had to see the game call the infamous Ashen Demon: 3 Houses. Maybe I'll name the protagonist FE Engage, or America. That white suit goes well with the blue and red.

Chapter 17: Coming World

Spoiler

I Love Romhack Plotlines:

Spoiler

Saya fails to realize that her army only view each other as acquaintances. I've only gotten one support in this entire game so far. They're not the social type.

No Bors? It's over.

Rip bozo

Why is that man 1 foot behind you? Have some privacy. The man's grieving.

It's fine. 3 Hopes told me that jumping between countries between individual chapters is very normal.

Pobre Saya

Look. I just want Sacae to be based again. Dayan deserves better. I don't care if Eliwood dies, but I reckon it would severely affect politics. I never worry about that unless I'm directly affected immediately.

because I'm the only person that exists

You had Marcus and Bors and you gave BOTH to Roy? Actual dumb dumb idiot. 

Saya hates being interrupted.

I killed you with Douglas. I did it for Ruben.

Be grateful.

Oh dear Lord

I will also pay back what I owe. I am literally going to murder you. My fe6 ironman is canon after this LP.

You consent. Edgar consents. I didn't. Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

Kill yourself.

Okay fine. That line was sort of cool. I appreciate a determined father. At least you didn't say "A blazing fire surrounds my blade". I take back my absolutely based statement.

Preparations: 

Ah yeah! This is happening!

This isn't even close to Eliwood's endgame stats.

Mine was much lower than this.

Well how about the other 2 that joined our militia?

Either this guy is an Est or a last minute OC the dev wanted to throw in that isn't a prepromote. I can't image there being that many more basic units. Most other units I've been getting recently have been promoted anyways. For a lvl 8 merc, his bases seem decent, but he's pretty close to L+fell off. 12 speed isn't enough to double at this point, but 10 defense is great for a sword unit, and 11 strength is serviceable. He comes with a longsword, but that gives you a weapon disadvantage, so it's difficult to use. Since most horse enemies use lances, I don't get why they don't increase the hit rate. It's difficult to rate the unit since I feel that it would be highly determined by growths over bases at this point, and he might have bad growths on a stat. I kinda like Edgar based off first impressions, but I have more than enough units, and if I were to train a low level basic unit, it would have to be Jeff, who really fell off. I'll just rate him C+ for now, to appease the potential elitists making sure no one praises non prepromotes.

Same sword rank as Edgar. That's depressing. My addiction to hit rate compels me to mainly use her sword. It also helps that it reduces the con issue with fliers. Her speed is serviceable for a flier, but nothing spectacular. She'll double enemies for now, but her might will it it rare for her to actually kill enemies, but you can see that as a good thing if you value spoon feeders with high move and rescue utility. I can't focus on her much though. The xp will be wasted on someone who is just going to die later on. I'm no fool. B+. She was actually pretty helpful, and is the least boring flier in this game. I don't like pegs. 

Looks pretty easy

Least cluttered Genealogy battle design 

Ah.

It's the Ruben map. This is the part where Ruben shills his channel. Go on. Do it.

The bottom portion has virtually no enemies, but a map like this is surely going to have a lot of reinforcements. That said, the top has Zephiel, so it's highly recommended that you send more people north. Also the dude has a dracoshield. 

Given that the objective is to defend, the map is going to be mid at best. This isn't to say defend maps are a bad concept. It actually feels like the most interesting one to me, and it changes up the idea of how your army is managing current affairs. But this is Fire Emblem, and IS doesn't know how to make a good defend map, and neither do fan creators according to like, 2 videos I saw showcasing a lot of horrible defend maps. The only defend map commonly praised is CQ 10, but this game isn't Conquest, is it? Since I write these after I beat the chapter, I can say that some of the defending was fun, but a lot of it is just 2 to 3 chokepoints with tanks, because that's more or less how a defend map goes. It's a lot harder to accomplish this in CQ 10 because of enemy skills and the sheer amount of them that swarm you starting turn 8 and above, rewarding the player's aggressive plays early on without necessarily forcing it or making you play it like an average rout map. It's a fine line to balance between, and CQ 10 does come pretty close to nailing it, although I still have a few problems with it. In regards to this chapter, you could easily tank them all for 16 turns and win, although you are actually able to defeat Zephiel. There is unfortunately no reward or even death dialogue for him, so one can assume that the dev was assuming he's unbeatable. That hurts, me being the guy who took down Cid in TLP chapter 5x. He says "How could the predators...become the prey...?!", and then drops boots. Where's my Eckesachs? Or a master seal. Ya know, a clever reference to how Zephiel just has a Hero's Crest as a boss in FE6. I mainly bring this up because defend maps typically try to reward you for going above and beyond just choking a point, but there is hardly a reward for doing so here, aside from arguably the secret shop, but it's not too far off from the center of the map. You mostly just have to clear the first FE4 like squad, which you'd naturally be doing across 16 whole turns anyways. You get a tomahawk from the regular general, but come on. It's called Brave Bow Dorcas. There are some genuinely great moments in the chapter though while you try to take out the squadrons that increased the tension and feel of their invasion which I'll get into later, including some difficult moments that had me carefully strategizing, mostly involving rescue strats to get kills while not placing frail units in danger. I would say this map gets a 6.5/10. It's almost a good map. 

5

I will not elaborate.

She will wait patiently for her assault, but only for 25 turns. After that, she will realize that she doesn't have 25 turns and cry about it.

Turn 1: Nothing Happens

The setup isn't interesting. Go away.

Turn 2: The Real Game Begins

To prove that the first few turns is FE4 with more chokepoints, here's every enemy rushing towards us. There is a slight split between them, and they carry varying weapons, but most of them are tame.

But for now, I want to get the bottoms out of the way.

One fine detail about Nikita is the rust like color on his swords. This is because the blood has dried up from the weapons he doesn't wash, displaying the blood of the bodies it killed and now has mindlessly etched onto itself like an abandoned trophy case. Great intimidation tactic. It also shows his lack of hygiene, which would then lead on to the black plague when he moved to Europe after the war.

Before, Fritz was a better Erica. Now he's the one who needs to catch up with her. Take that however you will.

Wow that speed stat of yours is so incredible Trachina

Now Sigma has to swoop in to save the day. Maybe if you weren't busy using dark magic to try bringing your dad back home, you'd be a better fighter.

You'd think that one of them would have an armorslayer, but they don't. They heard that Bors already left, so there is no need to waste resources. They don't expect Saya's army to have any armors, as only bad FE players use armor units.

Plenty of my units do more than fine against these casual single player gamers.

But among them are pay to win scumbags who place certain units at risk, mainly Feeler. Feeler could easily tank the steel users, but the great bow lads will destroy him. It's also important to note that there are plenty of thunder tome users that can harm my army, especially those with low luck, hence why I put units like Gim on the south.

Sergei's 10 speed only lets him obliterate armors, but this kind of chapter is actually made for him, because his great defense really helps in comparison to using the red lysithea whose name I already forgot, even though she would've doubled plenty of these cavs.

Most of Zephiel's forced attempt to flirt with the only girl they've seen in months by pwn'ing her, hopefully impressing her from their gamer skills they don't actually have.

They said it was the ping.

Gim makes short work of the southern assault. 

I am sad that Toby couldn't be here with him. I would've loved to send the two of them alone as a duo to hold the southern front.

Turn 3: Serotonin

Training archers fuels me with dopamine unlike any other mentally ill-driven playstyle.

It is imperative that I kill them with someone who has a full inventory.

This gives me pleasure greater than Ruben seeing Strong Mercenary Woman.

Or science.

14 14 14. Add these and you get 42. Imagine a triforce with 42 in the middle, and Yaraf controls all 3 portions of the triforce, only that it's not a triforce, but a triangular donut, because Big Guy is unique and does not play Zelda games.

About 14 minutes ago, I was messaged about using Trachina for endgame. That's not going to happen. S bow Dorcas sounds so much cooler. I originally wanted to use Tsagan on endgame to fully shill Jeigan emblem, but I've grown too fond of almost everyone else, and I knew that Feeler was inevitable. Usually, I'm content killing Iduun with any prepromote. Bartre, Marcus. I could reload endgame and do Igrene. She's cool. I'm thinking between Bow Dorcas or possibly Feeler if his attack actually cuts through their defense, but that almost sounds like cheating. 

But I'm Shaky Jones, and I want to use Feeler.

No, no. Come on. Let's go. Right now. Feeler Gaming. You think I'm joking?

Where's the joke huh? Am I the joke? Do I look a clown? Are you laughing? Am I not one to be taken seriously? 

Spoiler

Sergei has been placed under time out in the hidden comments for not believing in me.

Turn 4: 

Refer to turn title

Refer to turn title

Murder...

Refer to turn title

Refer to turn title

Optimal hit rate gameplay. 

Dorcas refers to turn title

Refer to turn title

Wyvern rider reaches Arel. Completely fails to kill.

Refer to turn title.

Do not refer to turn title

Turn 5: Crap

A miniboss? Sure. Who's your friend?

Damn it. I pressed enter while saving the first screenshot and skipped through his text. That rarely happens. Now I'll never know the grand lore of Montague the Mean.

The son of Eric who regrets being on the red emperor did nothing wrong forum, as it has now been renamed to r/edelgard.

I don't know how to recruit him. Probably Saya. Who else but the leader when wanting to transfer to the other side? How would I know who in my army this guy knows? I don't pay attention to Elibe lore, and that makes me pretty cool.

Getting kills for Trachina is genuinely an accomplishment, and that's coming from me.

That's just awesome.

One shot

is an indie game that one reddit user spent 2 years begging popular youtuber Pyrocynical to play on stream one day. It finally happened about a week ago.

Brave bows were made for warriors, not snipers. If you play GBAFE, it is your obligation to experience brave bow warriors. It helps you on the path to based-ness. Anon and Ruben can vouch for this, which they will if they value their private information.

Wind swords. Bring them back, yay or go **** yourself?

Turn 6: A Lot of Unannounced Rescue Strats

This is just an FE6 weapon with good might.

More horses. Less consequences.

It's very obvious where the hammerne uses are going.

One cannot be too close, lest they wish to accidentally murder the recruitable unit, but to run away is to avoid the conversation of change entirely. This is known as the New Mystery conundrum.

Her axe made the boss switch to his anti Feeler sword. I don't blame him since he probably also had the idea that it's a prison nickname of a man you really don't want near you.

Neither can harm each other very much, although it was very tempting for Sieks to take the brave lance from his corpse.

Mage Killer General.

Turn 7: Don't Care

Don't run away.

Sigma male controls beta simp

I might need this man back north. I'm feeling something...sussy 

No recruit?

If it's not the new units, I will murder everyone in Eric's family.

Nothing warms my heart

Father-Daughter battle bonding does make me grin though.

Strength and luck are the 2 most important stats right now. They are vital, especially on Emmy.

He lives!

He's Laus's...!?

And I accidentally skipped again. I'm upset for missing the dialog, but so thankful that I don't have even more captures to take. There's like 200 for this chapter alone. 

Don't worry. I've gotten better. It doesn't happen anymore this chapter, and it won't happen in the future. It's been several months since I've played this game. This is my cope.

Saya is donion rings if I don't rescue her. Erica?

She'll be fine.

Indestructible

I can't believe Shaky Jones gave the Afa drop to Feeler. That doesn't change anything. His growths are worthless, just like Shaky Jones!

I hate all of you! **** you **** you **** you-

I knew he'd be great. We all believed in him. Anyone can become amazing if they believe in themselves and put in the work.

3 of my units are carrying others, which I can relate to, given how I've expressed by recent back pain that I got from carrying the FE community on being funny.

I'm not actually pretentious IRL. I'm just confident in how unfunny most FE fans actually are. 

This almost feels unfair.

Turn 8: Emon Ugud?

I really should do a generic run one day.

Zephiel, I'm swatting your army like flies. Why did you not bring your overpowered lvl 20 squad?

What were they called again? Half of the early game involved cringy OP morphs. I'm glad they're not here. It's been months. I had morph therapy. Now I'm twice as racist.

The killer bow broke =(

To be fair, Heinrich is fighting while Edgar is on the horse, who is so fat that the horse barely manages to breathe while carrying them. Either that, or his horse is extremely pathetic. I've seen at least 2 movies where there's 2 people on a horse and it doesn't collapse and die.

I spent several minutes conjuring up strategies to wipe out the cavs to make the mages easier to deal with, but most of it is pointlessly dangerous, so I swallowed someone's pride and played it safe. Emmy was physic'd, and I'm barely out of the mage range.

Skill issue

Strength issue

Turn 9: I Almost Posted Without Putting Turn 9

Fake tension.

Who was it that called Gim bad again? Seriously, I forgot. All I remember was everyone hating Vince and I was really confused.

I can't just tank this.

Yes I can.

When you don't have res, just have high health. Warriors are unstoppable.

Turn 10: Fritz Underrated

Unfortunate durability loss

but totally worth the cost.

2 res. If the final boss deals magic damage, that would be very unfortunate for a lot of people.

Apparently, Feeler gains Est xp. That shouldn't have been surprising, as most player dragons are considered to be a basic class, but Feeler gave me a "4xp per kill for no growths" character. I said the word prepromote too many times. It's getting stale.

2nd kill. You wouldn't see anyone else do this. Ruben faked his trachina screenshot.

2% chance to die. I'm just not feeling that it will happen. I'm an empath and I'm just not feeling it.

The war dragons approach. Only my toughest warriors will be able to put a dent on their scales.

This is not a great war machine.

Turn 11: Dragons Overrated

Since the manaketes are really easy to deal with using magic, Sergei is going to be the mvp for a bit. Good for him. Otto isn't the most combat efficient magic user as you all are well aware of, and Trachina will soon disappoint me yet again.

Fun little fact. FE7 is garbage.

FE6 displays how many arrow thingies a ballista has, but then FE7 thought that was cringe. What is this RD hard BS? "Counting? Dat's your job, dumba**!"

Fair enough. It tests the math major I need to play FE.

The mani katti depresses me, reminding me that I will never get a crit with this thing when I need it, nor will the dodgy lords ever dodge. Thank you weapon disadvantage

The mindless war dragons fail to realize that they could just eat the fire attack. They breath fire. Why does this even hurt them?

"Use Yubello."

"Use Trachina"

"Radiant Dawn is bad"

This is my only hobby as a rentoid.

I do want me some skill.

It's enough,

but worthless. Heinrich you complete failure.

These stats actually look mid compared to my midgame Bors, but that goes to show how overpowered armors are. 

Mini wall for Edgar. If he missed, Sigune would've probably died and the Ilia route would be locked. To be fair, this game warrants a Sacae route follow up through Dayan.

Enemy phase time:

Go on. Tell Feeler he will fall off. Do it. You can't. Impossible. No growths? Literally insignificant. Do you not know of my accomplishments?

My sig has been saying it for months. "Growth rates are a lie". If I wasn't a lazy bonehead, I'd put them alongside General Darros. I don't play with growth units. I AM the growth unit. I am the one who grows.

Them. I make unconventional endgame units based. I don't- I don't grow for-

Just put me in jail already.

Turn 12: Feeler Gets So Much Xp, Feels So Good

25 fixed damage is busted.

Finally. Speed.

 

Feeler is going to outdo him in speed with my current luck and bias, isn't he?

Time's almost up, but it's hard approaching this corner. Everyone but Zephiel moves when in range, and the heroes are no joke. The actual armor boss is though.

Crash

Turn 13: 

I could use that iron rune very soon. Zepheil has 20 crit, which is very concerning, and Feeler needs this in general since the Elibe God hates war dragons, as they are inherently a man made abomination that defies nature and the beauty of life. Unfortunately, she doesn't get close to the center til the last turn, so it's not going to help me here. This is both a pleasant sight and an insult, much like Ruben seeing Lydia raise her foot before stomping him down.

Okay, I owe you a compliment. You're doing great with your hack. Sprites are great and I respect the effort you've been spending the past several weeks on, and the sheer amount of unbased FE takes I've been seeing recently from others makes me appreciate your moderately based takes.

Why is Tethys using dark magic? Must you shill science everywhere? I'm used to her using anima from randomizers and such. Where's my damn skeleton!

Burn Bern.

3 speeds in a row. They called me SpeeDarros. What am I now? I require a new title to appease my Gheb-like ego.

It's time.

Feeler. Sieks. Sending it to Roy's army for Bors. How will I choose?

Hey, I found the shop.

No, I just looked it up. Couldn't find an easy answer on FE romhack site name place, but one of the comments had a general guide, and it displayed the shop location there. I also found out that Red Lysithea (I think) could also recruit the paladin. This chapter is really showing how much I don't care for most things.

This is the Shaky Jones Experience. I'd make a great reviewer.

No stat boosters, but some reavers, killers, and a physic. Got one physic, and plenty of killer bows.

Turn 14: This Is A Game

But I ain't playing games

Crit doesn't even kill.

Holy based.

The boss waits one turn before moving, letting her lackey fight first. Beta tactic.

Turn 15: El Hombre Gigante

Their killer lance is scary. 

But Trachina hitting with Eclipse is scarier.

2 turns. Gigachad Red Emperor. The Dorcas family and the redeemed war dargon.

Saint Rubenio guide me.

It's all or nothing from here boys.

She will be my only 20 luck user, aka the only person who faces 0 crit risk.

The Hit Rate Divines Smiled Upon Me This Day

Turn 16: End of an Empire

To think that my happiest FE6 memories revolve around Bartre killing Zephiel, and here I am, using Dorcas against Zephiel. Fir was also a unit I really liked in my first FE6 run. Pretty sure I also used Bartre then, so the dynamic once again comes full circle. How beautiful.

This truly is, the 3 Hopes of Elibe.

Farewell, old king of Bern.

except no because he doesn't have death dialoge and probably retreats like a b-

Feeler has Resisted his fate and conquered past his destiny as a slave to his creators.

One could say, he challenged his fate.

Holy Cannoli! Trachina hit eclipse again. On the boss! Stop this Ruben! You're wasting your limited Saint powers! Use it on yourself, dammit!

Wait no, give me the blessing again. I need magic, or enough speed to offset the con. Why Ruben, why!?

20+ skill. 73 hit. Still skill issue.

Rebecca but awesome.

This person has a horselayer. Leave Eliwood alone, and you'd feel like your Eliballs got Elicrushed from a steamroyler.

 

This marks the end of the map which is always going to be 16 turns. This post took so long. The next is a short x chapter though. But at least you got to see Feeler gaming. This should be a paid service to read my lp's.

This would be where I put the ending, but holy Lord it is long. It's like 70 slides and it's too lore heavy to skip, so I'll put it on another post, or maby an entire post on its own tomorrow so I can just rant about it the whole time. It's pretty cringe, as an FE7 hater of course. Also my computer is about to die and for whatever reason, putting in the charger while it's still on tends to close all tabs. Don't know why yet, but I'm not risking writing this again, so I'm posting as is. Merry Spooky Month.

 

 

Edited October 7, 2022 by Shaky Jones

[Saint Rubenio]

Spoiler

 On 9/30/2022 at 7:51 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Lydia couldn't fulfill her role, and that's why you killed her.

Jerk.

On 9/30/2022 at 7:51 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

This might make a good reaction image, actually.

Would you rather recruit this guy or Eliza?

I mean, this guy has a staff rank. And he shares a face with my favorite FE6 throwaway boss.

On 9/30/2022 at 7:51 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of argument, it's Wario time- I mean, I use rescue-drop.

I would respond with this contextless image.

On 9/30/2022 at 7:51 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Christ on a bicycle, God on a unicycle, and the Holy Ghost on a tricycle. That's what we call the trinity, son.

Can I just say I find "Holy Ghost" to be a really silly name? In Spanish we call it the Holy Spirit, which I feel sounds more... I don't know, sacred? Holy Ghost sounds like something you'd encounter in a shitty Ghostbusters game.

On 9/30/2022 at 7:51 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Well, I mean, what, would you rather be molested than assaulted?

I'd... rather not consider this question.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It matters not, for what is a man?

You tell me. I want to know if you have the correct depiction.

A miserable pile of flesh and bone.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Birthright is too easy because it has Ryoma! What do you mean you're using Setsuna? Why? She's bad. Use Ryoma.

The eternal contradiction of the FE expert.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I won't tell the teehee lads.

Please, don't.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I can't believe Ruben doesn't actually read every individual sentence of my long posts. I brought this up twice in the paragraph, right when tying his relation to FE3 design, but then your brain was filled with "Grrr. UI bad! Game bad!". What a pity.

Fuck, I missed it.

Also I like how UI bad is apparently one of my catchphrases now. Just like all those other things I only said once.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Bow Ross. 

Gahahahaha... Okay, fine, that's a good answer. You think Bow Ross would be able to beat the devil out of Lyon?

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You fucking shitstain

You left yourself open to attacks.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I see funny face. I laugh. I see a meth addict. I break bad. I get sued in court? I call Saul. It's so funny. 

If you don't laugh, you'll find out why they call me Slippin Jones.

Let me play the Breaking Bad theme to complete the joke.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'm never asking for your input again. I will go out of way to ask for anyone except you. I'll go to a discord server and post my army just to get a different opinion, then get banned because I posted on general instead of the romhacking discussion board.

And then you will do what I say anyway.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Next you're going to tell me Live A Live is great.

No, Live a Live is better than great.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

because I'm the only person that exists

Stop saying that. Let me exist too.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I killed you with Douglas. I did it for Ruben.

Be grateful.

I am grateful. It's always nice to see more people appreciate the Dougyman.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh dear Lord

They try to cancel her on twitter, but she keeps countering them by moving to other social media platforms that nobody knows or cares about.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Okay fine. That line was sort of cool. I appreciate a determined father. At least you didn't say "A blazing fire surrounds my blade". I take back my absolutely based statement.

Shaky praising SoHaE? You love to see it.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Either this guy is an Est or a last minute OC the dev wanted to throw in that isn't a prepromote.

Yeah, he's this game's Est, pretty much.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Same sword rank as Edgar. That's depressing. My addiction to hit rate compels me to mainly use her sword. It also helps that it reduces the con issue with fliers. Her speed is serviceable for a flier, but nothing spectacular. She'll double enemies for now, but her might will it it rare for her to actually kill enemies, but you can see that as a good thing if you value spoon feeders with high move and rescue utility. I can't focus on her much though. The xp will be wasted on someone who is just going to die later on. I'm no fool. B+. She was actually pretty helpful, and is the least boring flier in this game. I don't like pegs. 

Sigune is a pegasus I like, which has to do with the fact that she looks unique as opposed to looking like every other pegasus in the series that isn't Syrene.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ah.

It's the Ruben map. This is the part where Ruben shills his channel. Go on. Do it.

Here.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

That hurts, me being the guy who took down Cid in TLP chapter 5x. He says "How could the predators...become the prey...?!", and then drops boots.

I know this also, because I needed those boots for Kevin.

It's actually not that difficult, a somewhat trained Siegfried with a lancereaver can pull it off.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I would say this map gets a 6.5/10. It's almost a good map. 

5

I will not elaborate.

Shakespeare.txt

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

One fine detail about Nikita is the rust like color on his swords. This is because the blood has dried up from the weapons he doesn't wash, displaying the blood of the bodies it killed and now has mindlessly etched onto itself like an abandoned trophy case. Great intimidation tactic. It also shows his lack of hygiene, which would then lead on to the black plague when he moved to Europe after the war.

Nikita is the villain of SoHaE 2: Feelin' Feeler.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wow that speed stat of yours is so incredible Trachina

Imagine all the content you would not have if I did not force you to use science.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

They said it was the ping.

She's going to play ping pong with their heads.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

14 14 14. Add these and you get 42. Imagine a triforce with 42 in the middle, and Yaraf controls all 3 portions of the triforce, only that it's not a triforce, but a triangular donut, because Big Guy is unique and does not play Zelda games.

I can't believe Big Guy is me.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'm thinking between Bow Dorcas or possibly Feeler if his attack actually cuts through their defense, but that almost sounds like cheating. 

I've done the final boss Feel. It is fun, I recommend.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

No, no. Come on. Let's go. Right now. Feeler Gaming. You think I'm joking?

Where's the joke huh? Am I the joke? Do I look a clown? Are you laughing? Am I not one to be taken seriously? 

  Hide contents

Sergei has been placed under time out in the hidden comments for not believing in me.

 

Your fictional army is turning on you now?

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The son of Eric who regrets being on the red emperor did nothing wrong forum, as it has now been renamed to r/edelgard.

I don't know how to recruit him. Probably Saya. Who else but the leader when wanting to transfer to the other side? How would I know who in my army this guy knows? I don't pay attention to Elibe lore, and that makes me pretty cool.

Pretty sure it's the new merc or Eliza. But then, it's too late, so I can only hope you managed it.

...You know, I managed it myself. When I played the game for the first time, completely blind and in a language I could not speak. So if you failed, I will be severely disappointed in you.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Brave bows were made for warriors, not snipers. If you play GBAFE, it is your obligation to experience brave bow warriors. It helps you on the path to based-ness. Anon and Ruben can vouch for this, which they will if they value their private information.

I can confirm bowriors are entertaining.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Don't run away.

Pretty sure he is supposed to run away... if not here, a little later. But the event is bugged, so he doesn't.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

He's Laus's...!?

And I accidentally skipped again. I'm upset for missing the dialog, but so thankful that I don't have even more captures to take. There's like 200 for this chapter alone. 

Don't worry. I've gotten better. It doesn't happen anymore this chapter, and it won't happen in the future. It's been several months since I've played this game. This is my cope.

He's blue now, that's what matters.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I can't believe Shaky Jones gave the Afa drop to Feeler. That doesn't change anything. His growths are worthless, just like Shaky Jones!

I hate all of you! **** you **** you **** you-

I knew he'd be great. We all believed in him. Anyone can become amazing if they believe in themselves and put in the work.

The fruits of labor.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Who was it that called Gim bad again? Seriously, I forgot. All I remember was everyone hating Vince and I was really confused.

Fuck Vince. All of my homies hate Vince.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Apparently, Feeler gains Est xp. That shouldn't have been surprising, as most player dragons are considered to be a basic class, but Feeler gave me a "4xp per kill for no growths" character. I said the word prepromote too many times. It's getting stale.

Use instead the word "senior class." It's what google translate gave me when I translated a SoHaE guide.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

2nd kill. You wouldn't see anyone else do this. Ruben faked his trachina screenshot.

Ach, it's true.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Fun little fact. FE7 is garbage.

FE6 displays how many arrow thingies a ballista has, but then FE7 thought that was cringe. What is this RD hard BS? "Counting? Dat's your job, dumba**!"

FE7 just generally gutted ballistae for no reason. No arrow display, no animations... Oof after oof.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

"Use Yubello."

"Use Trachina"

"Radiant Dawn is bad"

This is my only hobby as a rentoid.

You're so mad at a guy who doesn't even live on the same continent as you. How does that feel?

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I still can't believe you managed this.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I could use that iron rune very soon. Zepheil has 20 crit, which is very concerning, and Feeler needs this in general since the Elibe God hates war dragons, as they are inherently a man made abomination that defies nature and the beauty of life. Unfortunately, she doesn't get close to the center til the last turn, so it's not going to help me here. This is both a pleasant sight and an insult, much like Ruben seeing Lydia raise her foot before stomping him down.

I mean.

I could deny it.

 

 

It really isn't that insulting

 

 

 

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Okay, I owe you a compliment. You're doing great with your hack. Sprites are great and I respect the effort you've been spending the past several weeks on, and the sheer amount of unbased FE takes I've been seeing recently from others makes me appreciate your moderately based takes.

Thank you muchly. I agree that I am the greatest creator the world has ever seen because I drew an eye one time.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Why is Tethys using dark magic? Must you shill science everywhere? I'm used to her using anima from randomizers and such. Where's my damn skeleton!

And immediately you go back to trying to tell me what to do. You do not get your damn skeleton and Tethys does not get natural magic. Hail science.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Couldn't find an easy answer on FE romhack site name place, but one of the comments had a general guide, and it displayed the shop location there.

There's a chance you ran into my comments while looking for this.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Saint Rubenio guide me.

GwahahahahahHAAAOOOHHH WAIT THIS IS AN IRONMAN I FORGOT, NO FUCK STOP

5 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I genuinely love this battle convo, wonky translation or no.

5 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Farewell, old king of Bern.

Phew...

5 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Merry Spooky Month.

Ah I almost forgot, it's your month.

 

[AnonymousSpeed]

Spoiler

  

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

But feel-er! It's vocabulary! Worker is one who works. Drinker is one who drinks. Feeler is a crime. Surely there's a better way to state that he feels emotions than that of all names. You think of the word as an action, not simply feeling emotions. It's your fault!

What would you rather call him? Emoter? Empath? God forbid!

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well now I hate her.

She ain't no Sheema. Get outta here you failed prepromote.

I don't know, I kinda like the design, even if Bishop Boss would've been way cooler. This game doesn't give you any pre-promoted bishops, you know.

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Now they're seen as great because 1-4 range. 

Three Houses is an example of that awesome type of game design where you balance something by scrapping it's defining disadvantage and making it better than everything else.

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I call Saul. It's so funny.

"Hello."

"I heard there were pretty ladies here."

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is not a safe way to play, but I tend to play Conquest very aggressively. I haven't played that chapter in a long time, so forgive my lack of guidance. Please ask Ruben. I hear he is a tactician who has fought many battles and occasionally wins.

@Saint Rubenio Advice for Percy's paralogue?

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Feeler is a nickname a prisoner would get. 

Or a teacher.

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I thank you, and may God be the only one you are not anonymous to.

Amen!

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

All we can do is hoe until we cope.

NO HOES IN MY CHRISTIAN FIRE EMBLEM SERVER!

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I will never feel her.

Tsadina

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Who is that?

This would've been the part where I google it and judge you accordingly, but I can't find after 75 seconds of googling it. I felt like the wiki showed more than one black robot. Help me out here.

My dude.

Dude.

I put my head on a chopping block for you and you don't even-

...

Oh yeah, there actually are two black girl robots in Mighty No. 9, I forgot.

Kinda weird, isn't that?

Anyway. I was talking about the electric one.

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

i must've forgotten my lectures back in Catholic school 14 years ago. How could I be allowed to forget?

Are you telling me you don't know the entire Athanasian Creed?

7 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I dunno. Breaking bad has my favorite seen where Walter and Better Call Saul try calling Anonymous Lee, who I figured you know. Unless...YOU'RE Anonymous Lee.

Of course I don't know, for that would violate the code of the anons.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

because I'm the only person that exists

What egregious sophistry. Keep this up and you'll have to use Sophia.

Who, as a reminder, is still bad even with +30% to all growth rates.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You consent. Edgar consents. I didn't. Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

It's extra funny because Eliwood is the third party in this situation.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ah yeah! This is happening!

I'm FEELING it now, Mr. Krabs!

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's a fine line to balance between, and CQ 10 does come pretty close to nailing it, although I still have a few problems with it.

Interesting. I'd like to hear your elaborated thoughts on defend maps and CQ10 at some point, if it's no trouble.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

5

I will not elaborate.

If you unscramble the words in Ninaz, you get Nnazi. The extra N stands for-

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Great intimidation tactic. It also shows his lack of hygiene, which would then lead on to the black plague when he moved to Europe after the war.

Isn't Elibe kind of Europe already?

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Now Sigma has to swoop in to save the day. Maybe if you weren't busy using dark magic to try bringing your dad back home, you'd be a better fighter.

Beta Trachina vs Sigma Sigune. At least she wasn't trying to bring her mom back to life.

I started Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood recently and it's, uh...okay.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

But among them are pay to win scumbags who place certain units at risk, mainly Feeler. Feeler could easily tank the steel users, but the great bow lads will destroy him. It's also important to note that there are plenty of thunder tome users that can harm my army, especially those with low luck, hence why I put units like Gim on the south.

Really demonstrates an interesting principle of the FE damage formula where risk amplifies massively as you go back the defense threshold. 21 attack is no problem, 27 is much worse.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

They said it was the ping.

He used to make okay posts.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

14 14 14. Add these and you get 42. Imagine a triforce with 42 in the middle, and Yaraf controls all 3 portions of the triforce, only that it's not a triforce, but a triangular donut, because Big Guy is unique and does not play Zelda games.

But he does love donuts, especially jelly-filled!

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

No, no. Come on. Let's go. Right now. Feeler Gaming. You think I'm joking?

FEELER GAMING!

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Refer to turn title

I bet you can't tell where I quoted this from.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The son of Eric who regrets being on the red emperor did nothing wrong forum, as it has now been renamed to r/edelgard.

Heinrich puts me in a weird place. The hack idea I never move forward with had a plot dependent on the Lausian line dying out, but it'd be cool to have SoHaE be canon in the hack.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

One shot

is an indie game that one reddit user spent 2 years begging popular youtuber Pyrocynical to play on stream one day. It finally happened about a week ago.

Oh yeah, is that the one about the, uh...cat in a hat, I think?

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Brave bows were made for warriors, not snipers. If you play GBAFE, it is your obligation to experience brave bow warriors. It helps you on the path to based-ness. Anon and Ruben can vouch for this, which they will if they value their private information.

I also used Brave Bow Dorcas on my first run. He was fantastic.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wind swords. Bring them back, yay or go **** yourself?

https://gabbyjay.com/

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I might need this man back north. I'm feeling something...sussy 

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I knew he'd be great. We all believed in him. Anyone can become amazing if they believe in themselves and put in the work.

I legitimately love this commercial, even more than that beautiful speed-level streak on Feeler.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I'm not actually pretentious IRL. I'm just confident in how unfunny most FE fans actually are. 

Speaking as an FE fan who knows myself I can confidently say this is right.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Zephiel, I'm swatting your army like flies. Why did you not bring your overpowered lvl 20 squad?

What were they called again?

The Cringe Black Dragon Unit.

8 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Half of the early game involved cringy OP morphs. I'm glad they're not here. It's been months. I had morph therapy. Now I'm twice as racist.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Fun little fact. FE7 is garbage.

FE6 displays how many arrow thingies a ballista has, but then FE7 thought that was cringe. What is this RD hard BS? "Counting? Dat's your job, dumba**!"

Fair enough. It tests the math major I need to play FE.

It legitimately makes no sense. Like, of all the changes between games, I can't see how this was anything other than an outright downgrade. I don't even think it's due to memory limitations or anything. Maybe it had to do with letting the player use ballista?

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

My sig has been saying it for months. "Growth rates are a lie". If I wasn't a lazy bonehead, I'd put them alongside General Darros. I don't play with growth units. I AM the growth unit. I am the one who grows.

Them. I make unconventional endgame units based. I don't- I don't grow for-

Just put me in jail already.

Shakey grows but never shows.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Feeler is going to outdo him in speed with my current luck and bias, isn't he?

He's really f e e ling it!

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Okay, I owe you a compliment. You're doing great with your hack. Sprites are great and I respect the effort you've been spending the past several weeks on, and the sheer amount of unbased FE takes I've been seeing recently from others makes me appreciate your moderately based takes.

Are we talking about unbased rebalances or unbased original hacks?

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

3 speeds in a row. They called me SpeeDarros. What am I now? I require a new title to appease my Gheb-like ego.

The Fastest Feeler

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is the Shaky Jones Experience. I'd make a great reviewer.

I mean, compared to your competition?

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

To think that my happiest FE6 memories revolve around Bartre killing Zephiel, and here I am, using Dorcas against Zephiel. Fir was also a unit I really liked in my first FE6 run. Pretty sure I also used Bartre then, so the dynamic once again comes full circle. How beautiful.

This truly is, the 3 Hopes of Elibe.

A real work of poetry you've put together.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Holy Cannoli! Trachina hit eclipse again. On the boss! Stop this Ruben! You're wasting your limited Saint powers! Use it on yourself, dammit!

Wait no, give me the blessing again. I need magic, or enough speed to offset the con. Why Ruben, why!?

Just to troll you.

9 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Merry Spooky Month.

But I don't like Spooky Month.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Can I just say I find "Holy Ghost" to be a really silly name? In Spanish we call it the Holy Spirit, which I feel sounds more... I don't know, sacred? Holy Ghost sounds like something you'd encounter in a shitty Ghostbusters game.

First of all, "Holy Ghost" is amazing name. Secondly, "Holy Spirit" is actually more common, though Holy Ghost is also acceptable. I think it's more of a Southern Evangelical thing.

I don't know, I kinda like it. I think the word spirit has somehow been de-valued even more than the word ghost, though maybe that's just because I like to peer into theological circles.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'd... rather not consider this question.

I mean.

Fair.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stop saying that. Let me exist too.

"I just want to exist!" screamed Ruben as he was indoctrinating the children.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, he's this game's Est, pretty much.

Not really sure how I feel about a Mercenary Est. On one hand, it's definitely an interesting choice, and really refreshing compared to the typical examples of the archetype, which are pegs or mages. On the other hand, there's kind of a reason for the archetype mostly being pegs and mages. How much value are you really going to get out of training another sword infantry?

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sigune is a pegasus I like, which has to do with the fact that she looks unique as opposed to looking like every other pegasus in the series that isn't Syrene.

Or Tanith.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nikita is the villain of SoHaE 2: Feelin' Feeler.

Sword of Heaven and Earth 2: Feel Harder.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've done the final boss Feel. It is fun, I recommend.

Now do this dance:

Spoiler

 

 

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Use instead the word "senior class." It's what google translate gave me when I translated a SoHaE guide.

DRGN 401 - How to Feel (Prof. Shakey Leto)

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You're so mad at a guy who doesn't even live on the same continent as you. How does that feel?

You should see how mad people on our continent get about this one fella.

 

 

 

Adolf Hitler.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And immediately you go back to trying to tell me what to do. You do not get your damn skeleton and Tethys does not get natural magic. Hail science.

It's funny, because in Elibe lore anima is the magic of science.

Meanwhile, the dark magic classes are shaman (take drugs to talk to demons) and druid (aristocratic priestly caste of the Celts).

 

[Shaky Jones]

It's midnight, and I know this post was a mistake before posting it. 

Replies:

Spoiler

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, this guy has a staff rank. And he shares a face with my favorite FE6 throwaway boss.

He gets it

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I would respond with this contextless image.

This looks like a scientist with a manmade submachine gun. Bet he genetically created those animals too. For shame. The sins of America combined into one.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A miserable pile of flesh and bone.

Flesh is the miserable part.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Also I like how UI bad is apparently one of my catchphrases now. Just like all those other things I only said once.

Most creative Youtuber community joke.

You have a channel. I am simply acting as your "chat" and making inside jokes for your community to one day thrive and shill Kaga games with. One joke is all it takes.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Gahahahaha... Okay, fine, that's a good answer. You think Bow Ross would be able to beat the devil out of Lyon?

I prefer the term "thwack the schmickles outta them!".

If I do SS again one day, I'll do just that.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And then you will do what I say anyway.

I guess I did do the Feeler speedwing in the end.

Fuck.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stop saying that. Let me exist too.

But that goes against Solipsism. If I acknowledge you as a separate conscious, then that opens the possibility of everyone being real, which is depressing.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

They try to cancel her on twitter, but she keeps countering them by moving to other social media platforms that nobody knows or cares about.

Next thing you know, we'll see some very spicy Serenes posts soon.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Shaky praising SoHaE? You love to see it.

It's very 50/50. The following cutscene will not be the positive half.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, he's this game's Est, pretty much.

Merc Est. Kinda mid, but I'd take it over more fliers. His bases are servicable at least, although maybe that's bad for someone like me.

Last time I played a different hack, it was an armor Est, who becomes a Master Knight who has basically every weapon type already at B. It's FE4, but in a good game. The dev themselves referred to her as a joke unit whose supposed to be bad because of how the hack itself is really hard, but that just makes me want to prove a point. I believe she has a prf that prevents her from being doubled, but by her jointime (ch20), most enemies are promoted and use brave weapons (the difficulty is highly inspired by fe11 h5 as shown by similarly timed weapon jump spikes, silver at 10, brave at 20). I do appreciate the unique niche of gaining the master knight class, because she's the only way you can get the class, and bows are extremely useful in this game, so getting her to B bows is already a major boon, and this is a game with generally low growths. Merc Est would just get you another hero, who you had plenty of options for. When you deviate from the traditional flier Est, it should be done in a beneficial way, sort of like how Nino is a mage, and 1-2 range that cuts through physical defense is always nice although you really want defense in the enemy phase heavy game.

You guys know other unique Est types, from either main FE or romhacks?

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sigune is a pegasus I like, which has to do with the fact that she looks unique as opposed to looking like every other pegasus in the series that isn't Syrene.

I like Syrene. I don't like Shanna. Why do people find this odd? 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's actually not that difficult, a somewhat trained Siegfried with a lancereaver can pull it off.

The hard part is reaching Cid fast enough to wail on him with the strict time limit. I had to back off several turns with how frequent the reinforcements were with those strong generals blocking Cid's path.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Imagine all the content you would not have if I did not force you to use science.

I'd be famous. I'm held back.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Your fictional army is turning on you now?

It was all in le head

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pretty sure it's the new merc or Eliza. But then, it's too late, so I can only hope you managed it.

Right. Red hair Lysithea. I will not remember that name next time. I just guessed it was Edgar after it failed with Saya. If that didn't work, I woulda killed him. Good thing educated guesses are surprisingly effective.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...You know, I managed it myself. When I played the game for the first time, completely blind and in a language I could not speak. So if you failed, I will be severely disappointed in you.

Maybe the text was still in JP for me, but I'll never know because I skipped both dialogue scenes related to this man. Rip his lore.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fuck Vince. All of my homies hate Vince.

He did nothing wrong! Didn't he help Saya's army track the fort Dayan was in? He's so miserable in his portrait too. Give him some support man!

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You're so mad at a guy who doesn't even live on the same continent as you. How does that feel?

It's fine. You're not real. Continents were created from me to occupy me from existential dread and boredom.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I still can't believe you managed this.

This is why only I am qualified to critique FE12's difficulty. The amount of times I see fe12 get insulted for being bad design aka f3 but bad and too hard, is staggering. I must hold bac from just saying "skill issue". If Bantu can solo maniac maps, then it's not the game's fault that you can't win because your army can't dodge hits that 2RKO you.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You do not get your damn skeleton and Tethys does not get natural magic. Hail science.

Cretin.

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

GwahahahahahHAAAOOOHHH WAIT THIS IS AN IRONMAN I FORGOT, NO FUCK STOP

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Phew...

You told me constantly to have faith in Yubello. Why did you not have confidence in Feeler?

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah I almost forgot, it's your month.

I love listening to video game ost's that are borderline "mental illness" the theme song and go "this is literally me".

It's in tune of spooky month, I am not a sociopath, I swear. Normalize my habits. 

17 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

What would you rather call him? Emoter? Empath? God forbid!

As am Empath, I can feel the pain within these war dragons...

No I don't. Kill them all.

If the story ends up telling me to feel bad for the morphs, I'm review bombing this game harder than Obama blowing up those civilian hospitals.

17 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

This game doesn't give you any pre-promoted bishops, you know

FE6 doesn't give you any pre-promoted sages. Just Cecilia. Clearly, this is a reference.

17 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

"Hello."

"I heard there were pretty ladies here."

"Did you know that you get b****es? The support log says you do, and so do I".

17 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

NO HOES IN MY CHRISTIAN FIRE EMBLEM SERVER!

Don't tell me I made that mistake. I thought I proofread that bit. I made some hiccups, I always do, but I was proud of that line! Hope til you Cope!

If you just changed it yourself, I will be very upset.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

My dude.

Dude.

I put my head on a chopping block for you and you don't even-

...

Oh yeah, there actually are two black girl robots in Mighty No. 9, I forgot.

Kinda weird, isn't that?

Anyway. I was talking about the electric one.

Huh...

.....

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Interesting. I'd like to hear your elaborated thoughts on defend maps and CQ10 at some point, if it's no trouble.

Most of my thoughts on defend maps were already explained then. It can be interesting, but why try when they almost always suck? It's easy to think of making a defend map and just considering throwing in hoards of enemies while you sit still for 10+ turns. That's usually how defend sections work in other games. You camp in one spot while bombarded and use everything you have to not be overwhelmed. I typically imagine these in games with guns and such, but there's probably tons of genres that pull this off. In FE, it's basically just chokepoints. Camping in FE is boring. I don't feel incentivized into using my staves or braves when these maps more often than not go for quantity over quality. You don't want to make defend maps hard by spamming triple the enemy numbers, but making the enemies much stronger makes defending possibly too much. It's also just bland design if half of the map is "6+ of the same class enemies every other turn". Narratively, I like defend maps. Sometimes the enemy has just managed to surround you at whatever camping location or castle you're at. They throw everything they have to destroy you, and you use the layout of the building to survive long enough. Usually, these maps have green units, but  more often than not, they're useless. At least SoHaE had physic allies that helped me. I like 14 of thracia well enough, even if the enemy spam gets a little ridiculous, mostly because it's supposed to be a really hard chapter, and you have optional houses that offer great rewards if you actually play the map aggressively. It's also just generally more helpful, as waiting inside the whole time gives the enemy more opportunity to summon enemies from affar to spawn in combination with other enemies that make tanking them very hard. There are also multiple ballistae that you'd really want to deal with, as they make the 2 wyverns that join you difficult to use, although you could look at that as horrible Kaga design if you hate the feeling of being trolled. Elincia's gambit is another famous defend maps that I love narratively. The music is amazing, the semi-endgame vibe of it while your Crimean squad, aka Brom, defends the wave of enemies attacking your castle. I like the base design of the map, and it was reused for a Fates DLC. These maps will still promote heavy enemy phase action, but one could see that as a good thing if you want your game to have some of all sorts of playstyles and some kind of incentive to use units that work well on enemy phase, although I much prefer pure player phase gaming. It's why I am a huge fan of escape maps, such as the Manster arc or FE12 chapter 8. These also work well on a narrative perspective, similar in many ways to defend maps, but are opposites in how the player moves. Defend maps largely encourage preventing any enemies from entering your fort. Escape maps encourage you to run away as fast as possible. Of course, escape maps are more stressful, and basically demand good gameplay, which might not bode well with casual players as opposed to defend maps, where casual players can sit there for 12 turns, while experts can try routing the map for all the rewards. I don't recall if Elincia's gambit has a reward for aggressive plays. I think there was a speedwing, but I could be wrong. I simply like trying to kill the boss because it feels better. Conquest in particular is so hard, that trying to use chokepoints is almost certain death. Skills like lunge prevent you from unequipping an item and holding off one enemy to block everyone else. Ninjas spawn and will poison and debuff you. These prevent a defense blessed corrin from just tanking the map with a dragonstone. You have various ways to fight off the enemy, like the fire orb to weaken several brigands at once, a freeze staff to stop the stronger enemies from overwhelming you (paired up enemies are particularly tough), and you're much more likely to use personal skills to gain every bit of advantage. Defending might work at first, but once Takumi destroys the water, you are doomed if you have not been routing the upper half of the map. You could be rewarded by killing Takumi quickly, as it does prevent him from removing the water, but this is virutally impossible. I would say it is infinitely easier to defeat Zephiel here than it is to somehow reach Takumi and kill him in less than 7 turns. This could be skill issue, but I fear what skill is expected of me this early in the game after going through FE12 reverse lunatic and still struggling in CQ10. My main problem has always been that it's too early in the game for a defend map as aggressive as it is. People hate how FE12's prologue's are basically puzzles that require perfect play to win. A lot of this comes from how small the maps are, but at least dying only makes you lose a minute. It's nauseating to spend over an hour in CQ10 and then you miss a hit on a ninja or miss your arrow against the pegs that head straight to the top, making you instantly lose. In a way, this is generally a probelm some have with CQ. It's incredibly hard, but unlike DSFE, there are no save points or any way to keep progress, meaning that one unlucky miss could mean the start of the entire map. While I tend to dismiss these as skill issue in some games, I've experienced this far too much in CQ10, as I don't have enough time to set up any kind of build. I am more often than not prepared for Fuga's wild ride, and consider it to be one of the most fun maps in the franchise, even if others hate it. I can't say the same for CQ10, as I have nothing to work with. Sure it gives it similar puzzle vibes like FE12 prologues that I have defended before, but it is brutal and often pushes me from wanting to pick up conquest if I'm ever in the mood to replay FE. I often feel like I'm one or 2 units short, wishing I had just a few more units to help fight the waves of enemies that often make me split my army in 3, and using pair ups only further reduces how many units are fighting, although using Arthur or even Niles can be hard, as they tend to miss a lot, and any miss can be a game over when you don't have many 2nd plans. You only have 1 Camilla, and not enough money to have 10 vulneraries for your entire army. Defend maps often encourage aggressive plays. CQ10 might as well just demand it. Usually, defend maps give you more than the average deployment limit. This is almost nothing. I can't focus at all on how to feed kills to units in the early game when CQ10 has me fighting for my life so damn early on. Sure I play on lunatic, but hard mode is a lot of the same thing, especially when might in hard and lunatic is for the most part identical.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

If you unscramble the words in Ninaz, you get Nnazi. The extra N stands for-

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I started Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood recently and it's, uh...okay.

Already, you watch more anime than me.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Really demonstrates an interesting principle of the FE damage formula where risk amplifies massively as you go back the defense threshold. 21 attack is no problem, 27 is much worse.

It goes to show how important the defense stat is, and why balancing armors and such is always a tricky topic. Make them too tanky, and you break the game. Make them not tanky enough, and they're worthless. You'd think that just adding hammers and mages would be enough, but a lot of FE's struggle to have cool armor. The average design tends to be that armors have a great base defense, but low growths, to ensure that they don't easily cap defense. They're great against a herd of weaker enemies, but will often be worse against stronger enemies than the average unit. A unit with 12 defense takes 15 damage from an enemy with 27 might. A unit with 20 defense takes 7 twice, hardly being much better. Sure, it's one less, but that's hardly worth the trade of a slow unit with low move if we're talking in an unironic unbased way. Give them 25 defense, and now they're invincible. Just play the game like you would FE7. Bad. There's spamming mages and hammers, but then you get Dalsin Emblem, which is either a good or bad thing depending on the person. Some armors are permanently slow. Others gain decent speed, like Bors. This can balance out their defense issue by letting them avoid being doubled to further improve their defending capabilities if trained enough. Alternatively, they can still gain lucky defense growths to still become good at tanking, allowing for either scenario to help them not fall off as an armor while being mostly balanced, having moderate base might. There's that classic FE growth gamble that isn't specifically leaning towards one direction. Bors can be good in various ways, or he can be garbage. That's FE for you. If he's horrible, you can drop armors as a whole, or try your luck on barthe, who's much more of a pure tank. If only Bors didn't star the game fighting axe units in the bad hit rate game. 

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

He used to make okay posts.

Me though? Nothing but absolute zingers every time.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I bet you can't tell where I quoted this from.

Erica level up

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I used to be Saul Goodman. Now I'm Patrick Bateman.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Heinrich puts me in a weird place. The hack idea I never move forward with had a plot dependent on the Lausian line dying out, but it'd be cool to have SoHaE be canon in the hack.

Hack using other hack as canon? That sounds like the definition of cringe!

Just kidding, it's when you remember that TLP has a One Piece chapter/character.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Oh yeah, is that the one about the, uh...cat in a hat, I think?

Yeah. I don't really know anything else about it. I already play Deltarune. One more meta indie game and I'm gone.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I legitimately love this commercial, even more than that beautiful speed-level streak on Feeler.

I can always count on you for videos. All kinds of them. 

Now show a video debunking science for Ruben.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

It legitimately makes no sense. Like, of all the changes between games, I can't see how this was anything other than an outright downgrade. I don't even think it's due to memory limitations or anything. Maybe it had to do with letting the player use ballista?

But you can use it in FE6 too. I remember sniping Sigune in FE6 on previous runs with ballistae near her. And really, there's no reason to remove that feature. It's really like when FE10 removed the ability to see the enemy range. At least that had a reason in the fact that it's a hard mode thing, even if that logic is incredibly stupid. Why in FE7? Pretty sure that game was trying to be easier.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Are we talking about unbased rebalances or unbased original hacks

@Saint RubenioAnswer his question Seed Man.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I mean, compared to your competition?

I don't watch FETubers really, other than occasional meme videos or compilations of obscure units solo'ing the game like JimmyFE's vids. I do watch some Excelblem though. I do get recommended incredibly obscure youtubers with under 300 subs playing FE games since apparently those are what I end up clicking most out of curiosity. Also because no one else plays Archanea games. I know nothing about content creators like Ghast and such.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

But I don't like Spooky Month.

Sounds like you're spooked.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Not really sure how I feel about a Mercenary Est. On one hand, it's definitely an interesting choice, and really refreshing compared to the typical examples of the archetype, which are pegs or mages. On the other hand, there's kind of a reason for the archetype mostly being pegs and mages. How much value are you really going to get out of training another sword infantry?

As I mentioned before, it's another fine line or however you say the term. Give me Est fighter.

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

DRGN 401 - How to Feel (Prof. Shakey Leto)

"Anon, you can't be anonymous on the zoom meeting. Turn on your camera or you get an F. Ruben, stop eating rocks during the call. You're responsible for eating breakfast before class starts.".

On 10/7/2022 at 8:40 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

It's funny, because in Elibe lore anima is the magic of science.

Meanwhile, the dark magic classes are shaman (take drugs to talk to demons) and druid (aristocratic priestly caste of the Celts).

Yeah, but now I associate druids with scientology. Thanks Ruben. Usually, dark mages in FE tend to be seeking knowledge or sorts while mages just sort of are mages, except in FE12, where usually the mages will talk more about how they learn magic in Khadein. At least, I feel that GBA mages are just magic users. Modern FE is a lot more tuned with it's dark magic. Henry's a lunatic, Nyx is cursed, and the dark magic users of 3 Houses are cursed in the sense that they were experimented on by the Slithers. Even though Edelgard isn't a magic user by default, she can use dark magic if trained in it. I guess GBAFE is like "Yo, 2 luck unit!", which I've always assumed represents their holy faith or something. Come on, 30 luck Elen. Goddess icon gives luck. Not sure what that says about Barthe though. It does work for Igrene.

Words Words Words:

Spoiler

Feeler.

You Feeling alright?

He's not Feeling very good.

Saya channels her hatred of being interrupted to her headband, not wanting to slaughter Eliwood's soldiers after a hard fought battle.

the Prince, Roy.

Prince Roy.

the Prince Roy

the prince, Roy

none of the above

I don't like Skyrim, so don't expect or make a horrible joke here.

That said, it would be kinda funny to see re-animated on Awakening's intro, maybe.

Saya says that he's been out for about 2 hours or so. I've never passed out before, so I can call him weak. Dude didn't even fight. Loser.

Le Good Guy!?!?

Bribe him.

He lost Wade and Lot =(

Well you're 16 when the game started and Roy is 15. FE fans are surprisingly often over 20, and Eliwood is probably still younger than a few Serenes boomers who I pray are not using Nintendo girls as profiles or banners at this point.

Depends on the Roy we're talking about.

boy

Man

Do we need it? Those cavs of yours were nothing. Just send Dorcas and Emmy to defend them. Also Trachina. Leave her unguarded.

No youngins allowed here.

No, you have supports that make me stand in front of the fire dragon for 30 turns. That's hard to forget.

Here it isss....

Placed into the backlogs of FEH only be pulled back every other month for a banner, never allowed to see proper FE again until the release of Engage, in which she will be seen as the star and savior of Elibe before Roy's time.

We don't need Eliwood. We need Fargus's crew. Old man Dart perhaps. I just want to get the morphs over with, before they become too plot relevant again.

Otto fucking damn it.

It's Lucius.

No.

Stop.

Look at this dude!

 

That line got me.

Most generic villain dialogue.

Sonic 06 moment.

Plot convenience, now an inconvenience. How convenient.

Controlling parent figure of important character. Siegfried from TLP, but more mindless. 

Least ridiculous horny Kaga moment.

Average dementia patient.

Don't bring FE6 deaths into your headcanon you reject villain.

Scooping up Zephiel's remains like lowly insects. That's all you'll ever be. 

Oh my actual God, Lord save me from your abysmal ramblings! No one cares! Your old master is dead! There's no vengeance to be had! Quintessence was a mistake as a concept! You're tryharding more than Kelik on edge overdrive! Shut the f**k up!

That was worst bit of dialogue so far. Half of those lines are basically copy pastas from every kid's show villain trying to taunt the protag. It's not imposing. It's just being whiny, and that mask and shadow only adds to the embarrassing "look at me, I've evil" factor. I prefer the blatantly obvious red eye Hardin thing over this. This is just a Kaga moment of trying to brainwash someone you don't want to hurt (Mareeta vs Eyvel), but so much cornier and thrown in far too early through tell-not show. And the whole mask thing might as well not matter anymore. Also, I still hate morphs. You should've just died the moment Nergal fell, kind of like how if you kill Julius without defeating Manfroy, he basically disintegrates. Morphs are just human war dragons. They're not worth having an entire unique arc when they already were resolved in their game that many nowadays say isn't even a good story. It doesn't even feel correlated to Zephiel's plotline. The hack just randomly switches between these 2 arcs to fufill a quota to reference both games rather than have a cohesive and interesting narrative centered around Sacae's involvements with the events prior to FE6. There's no reason to plug in morphs. There was nothing left to resolve, and the only plot provided is just vengeance because no one else really cares about Lyn. She was irrelevant. Wow! I get to go back to the dread isles? I LOVED THAT IN FE7!!! Why can't I go back to Sacae lore? Please, give me back Dayan! Seeing this bridge between Roy's army and yours discussed through Eliwood was kind of interesting, even if my hatred of Eliwood and most FE7 based cameos makes everything feel slightly cheesy. Just imagining Roy's army progressing at the same time as yours. That's neat. There's more going on in Elibe than just where Roy's going. I just wish said issues weren't "We're cleaning up Nergal's mess". I suppose this is what I get for beating Zephiel early. He must've died, and now I'm stuck with this guy as my main villain. Watch this man be the final boss. He takes out his mask, then he transforms or fuses with a revived Nergal into some morph beast. 

Or maybe it's just Lyn and it's literally The Last Promise.

Alliance army?

GolDEn DeER!?!?!

But then, a battle, before dawn.

She's benchable. Very replaceable. The bench gives artists an easy time drawing her since she's not moving about. This is why most axe men aren't drawn. They're too busy being deployed and sent to the frontline for being super awesome. Ippei does though. He's built different.

I bet Lyn hate was hardly a thing back in the day. Fans were too busy hating on Micaiah and wah wah wah-ing over FE11 having no supports. This really isn't my game story wise when it comes to being expected to give a damn. It's like playing a Sonic game. You're going to call it terrible, but you're still playing it, even if the game isn't meant for you.

Yes I have played several 3d sonic games, and I hate them all. Now I really am a youtuber. 

For Fred Fuchs' sake. More dialogue? I can't just skip it. It's actually well written!

As much as I'd want to mock you for submitting yourself to Bern, I and the rest of you are pawns in the sense that we are consoomers to modern industries and corporations. Ruben would submit to anyone if they're attractive enough. Anon would scam people into selling their data and make them his money pawn so he can buy 3 tons of battery acid.

He's actually right. It was a very basic kill, but this Roy was Yiik'ing out and I was not risking an ironman.

It was not a battle Roy won alone.

Rig the fight with a horselayer.

The classic "If am to die, let me ensure that my people are safe one last time" vibe. He's already more of a hero here than he ever was in Blazing Blade. He cries about his dad, then cries over dead ice dragussy, then Lyn kills Nergal as is canon. This game said so, and I guarantee you Engage will too.

Old people are the greatest characters.

They both suffered from having a dream stan arc.

Dude, kill him. End the bloodline. Call your guards. Be victorious!

I am not a good example. For anything.

Hate the morphs. They were the ones who convinced Gold General Man to leave his son, your father, to be shot and killed by Bartre.

That's cute. This was a sweet scene. A lot of relatability between Eliwood and Erik Jr over dead dads and wanting to end their feud, and hating Bern, and hating morphs.

You're a kinder man than the knuckleheads who inspired this LP.

Yeah? Then we kill them. I don't get the problem.

Knowing how powerful Saya's army is by now, I almost feel that Bern would notice even faster that way.

Unless I bench you. Now that's strategy.

...join Sieks.

Shiver me timbers.

I need help taking good care of myself. Where's my warm wishes?

 

I haven't even started 17x. 2 reasons. Busy homework week. Most of which I procrastinated on, but I feel busy. Speech due next week. Other reason is because yesterday was Fallout's 25th anniversary and I spent the entire day playing the board game variant and talking trash on Bethesda for ruining the franchise. I'm not a Fire Emblem elitist, but I sure am a Fallout elitist. It hurts being this based.

Of course Ruben hates New Vegas though. So time to offend you with a statement I know will slightly tick you off.

Clearly, you need to play the DLC. 

Also play every route.

AnonymousSus

Spoiler

........

Bit hollow on the inside.

Almost always seen smiling, clearly showing off razor sharp teeth, even during her boss battle.

Very sharp

Claws certainty reveal a fact about someone. At least, that's what Matpat once said. Also sharp.

One of those gals.

Le voice

hmm...

Surprisingly not surprising at all. What a brat.

Her base outfit is black and yellow. Black is a common sexual color that stimulates something funky in the brain, so it's unsurprising for that to be something pleasing what I'm hoping was just young Anon. Yellow is a much more eccentric color. Being all about lightning, her personality reflects this to an extent. It also represents being possibly spontaneous or even unstable, but it can also provide a feeling of optimism and cheerfulness. This is not something that combines well with the black and sharp claws/teeth, as well as the fact that from what limited resources I gathered, she attacks you because she was hungry for electricity. Black and yellow together is more often than not aggressively dominant. Black is a dominant color, and yellow is aggressively eccentric, bursting with energy. When you see the other girls,

It's every FE fan's dream. Young anime girls. And of them all, Anon likes the most sinister looking one.

Okay, not the most sinister one. This one. Hoo boy. This is more up Ruben's alley.

Now I'm not saying that there's a clear dom vibe going on here, but it's definitely not submissive and breedable that Anon is looking for. Either Anon is Ruben Jr in disguise, or it's one of those bratty people you imagine putting in their place. It doesn't actually have to be one or the other, but no one is that unique. When it comes to dom energy, it's nowhere close to mommy dommy vibes, since there are multiple degrees on how one can be a dom. There's also simply radiating that energy, but that isn't explicitly what you want from them. But why the pointy things? She has those horns that I can only assume generate thunder, but it all comes back to sharp things. Again, very aggressive. It's often worn by those who want control, or possibly to instill fear. That's probably not the case here, they just seem to really like thunder, but when it all comes back together, it's hard to pass it all off as a coincidence. By the way, you are not allowed to call me wrong here. I took one psychology course. I know more about you than you ever will. Why does she sound kinda like Vicky from Fairly Odd Parents? That's not hot at all! If Severa had a slightly scratchier sounding voice, it'd be pretty close!

There isn't too much I can gather from her purple hair, since that color in your arousal translated to sexual frustration, and I don't know your sex life. What I will say is that she got a goofy ahh haircut. Where's the hotness? She got that zap game or something? Do you want to be electrocuted while being stepped on? Perhaps you are the sadist I thought you were and you want to drain all the thunder from her to see the confidence drain from her eyes! Well at least I know you're certainty no normie. You want your character not looking lifeless like Lydia or stupidly happy like Trachina's worthless a word. You like hot tempered girls who posses some kind of immediate potential threat. That's what I can gather from this as it stands alone. Whether you're a top or bottom doesn't change the fact that you want your fictional gal looking anything but weak and trapped in one of Kaga's cages, unless it's for you to execute them. You admire their confidence and vibe, or maybe you really are just turned on by the combination of dominant color schemes and...claws? You know, claws can be linked to masochism? Surely, Anon the based is above this...yes?

But yes, you are weird. This is a robot with no inside. You might as well tell me you would do a dark vacuum covered in barb wire while it's active, because that's more or less what this is.

Spoiler

I'm basically saying there is far more evidence pointing to you being a mini Ruben, but the strong girl vibe is replaced with mildly malicious. 

Also she looks and sound spretty young. Sussy baka. The voice correlates with bratty confidence, aka childlike personality, like Frye from Spla3. At least Lydia is clearly mature...

Why did I do this? Because I needed to make up for no 17x.

 

Here's my crush:

 

[AnonymousSpeed]

 Shaky, I'd like you to know that if you ever feel like this is turning you into an irony-poisoned chunk of coal like myself, you are allowed to stop doing the thing.

Replies

Spoiler

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's midnight, and I know this post was a mistake before posting it. 

  And yet, here we are.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

For shame. The sins of America combined into one.

Nah, those are just a regular cat and dog, and this guy is clearly just exercising his Constitutional Carry rights. I see nothing wrong with this picture.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You have a channel. I am simply acting as your "chat" and making inside jokes for your community to one day thrive and shill Kaga games with. One joke is all it takes.

Amy Schumer, probably the funniest person on the planet, has built her entire career on one joke. I think Ruben's got this in the bag, once he fixes the accent problem.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Next thing you know, we'll see some very spicy Serenes posts soon.

I want to take a break from the irony and jokes to talk about Gab. They've built their own server infrastructure instead of relying on Amazon's, which is what Parler did before getting promptly un-platformed. I actually find that quite fascinating.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Last time I played a different hack

I don't really recognize this hack.

When's Ruben Stones coming out?

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You guys know other unique Est types, from either main FE or romhacks?

Ewan might vaguely count as an Est, in which case he has some interesting utility with either summoning phantoms or getting a horse. He's still another mage est, though. I can't quite remember any other very interesting Ests though, probably because I tend to burn out on romhacks before I actually get that late in them.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

He did nothing wrong! Didn't he help Saya's army track the fort Dayan was in? He's so miserable in his portrait too. Give him some support man!

I kinda like Vince.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

As am Empath, I can feel the pain within these war dragons...

No I don't. Kill them all.

To be fair, they have no pain to feel. Except for Feeler. He feels pain.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

If the story ends up telling me to feel bad for the morphs, I'm review bombing this game harder than Obama blowing up those civilian hospitals.

The Obama administration retroactively declared civilian casualties as combatants so they could say they killed no civilians while gunning down a 16 year old with drones.

Progressivism successfully turned me against American imperialism, which is honestly a monumental accomplishment.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Don't tell me I made that mistake. I thought I proofread that bit. I made some hiccups, I always do, but I was proud of that line! Hope til you Cope!

If you just changed it yourself, I will be very upset.

I will not, but I do think it's a funny line. Or would've been if you'd written it write. Since you wrote it wrong, it ended up being hilarious.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Most of my thoughts on defend maps were already explained then. It can be interesting, but why try when they almost always suck? It's easy to think of making a defend map and just considering throwing in hoards of enemies while you sit still for 10+ turns. That's usually how defend sections work in other games. You camp in one spot while bombarded and use everything you have to not be overwhelmed. I typically imagine these in games with guns and such, but there's probably tons of genres that pull this off. In FE, it's basically just chokepoints. Camping in FE is boring. I don't feel incentivized into using my staves or braves when these maps more often than not go for quantity over quality. You don't want to make defend maps hard by spamming triple the enemy numbers, but making the enemies much stronger makes defending possibly too much. It's also just bland design if half of the map is "6+ of the same class enemies every other turn". Narratively, I like defend maps. Sometimes the enemy has just managed to surround you at whatever camping location or castle you're at. They throw everything they have to destroy you, and you use the layout of the building to survive long enough. Usually, these maps have green units, but  more often than not, they're useless. At least SoHaE had physic allies that helped me. I like 14 of thracia well enough, even if the enemy spam gets a little ridiculous, mostly because it's supposed to be a really hard chapter, and you have optional houses that offer great rewards if you actually play the map aggressively. It's also just generally more helpful, as waiting inside the whole time gives the enemy more opportunity to summon enemies from affar to spawn in combination with other enemies that make tanking them very hard. There are also multiple ballistae that you'd really want to deal with, as they make the 2 wyverns that join you difficult to use, although you could look at that as horrible Kaga design if you hate the feeling of being trolled. Elincia's gambit is another famous defend maps that I love narratively. The music is amazing, the semi-endgame vibe of it while your Crimean squad, aka Brom, defends the wave of enemies attacking your castle. I like the base design of the map, and it was reused for a Fates DLC. These maps will still promote heavy enemy phase action, but one could see that as a good thing if you want your game to have some of all sorts of playstyles and some kind of incentive to use units that work well on enemy phase, although I much prefer pure player phase gaming. It's why I am a huge fan of escape maps, such as the Manster arc or FE12 chapter 8. These also work well on a narrative perspective, similar in many ways to defend maps, but are opposites in how the player moves. Defend maps largely encourage preventing any enemies from entering your fort. Escape maps encourage you to run away as fast as possible. Of course, escape maps are more stressful, and basically demand good gameplay, which might not bode well with casual players as opposed to defend maps, where casual players can sit there for 12 turns, while experts can try routing the map for all the rewards. I don't recall if Elincia's gambit has a reward for aggressive plays. I think there was a speedwing, but I could be wrong. I simply like trying to kill the boss because it feels better. Conquest in particular is so hard, that trying to use chokepoints is almost certain death. Skills like lunge prevent you from unequipping an item and holding off one enemy to block everyone else. Ninjas spawn and will poison and debuff you. These prevent a defense blessed corrin from just tanking the map with a dragonstone. You have various ways to fight off the enemy, like the fire orb to weaken several brigands at once, a freeze staff to stop the stronger enemies from overwhelming you (paired up enemies are particularly tough), and you're much more likely to use personal skills to gain every bit of advantage. Defending might work at first, but once Takumi destroys the water, you are doomed if you have not been routing the upper half of the map. You could be rewarded by killing Takumi quickly, as it does prevent him from removing the water, but this is virutally impossible. I would say it is infinitely easier to defeat Zephiel here than it is to somehow reach Takumi and kill him in less than 7 turns. This could be skill issue, but I fear what skill is expected of me this early in the game after going through FE12 reverse lunatic and still struggling in CQ10. My main problem has always been that it's too early in the game for a defend map as aggressive as it is. People hate how FE12's prologue's are basically puzzles that require perfect play to win. A lot of this comes from how small the maps are, but at least dying only makes you lose a minute. It's nauseating to spend over an hour in CQ10 and then you miss a hit on a ninja or miss your arrow against the pegs that head straight to the top, making you instantly lose. In a way, this is generally a probelm some have with CQ. It's incredibly hard, but unlike DSFE, there are no save points or any way to keep progress, meaning that one unlucky miss could mean the start of the entire map. While I tend to dismiss these as skill issue in some games, I've experienced this far too much in CQ10, as I don't have enough time to set up any kind of build. I am more often than not prepared for Fuga's wild ride, and consider it to be one of the most fun maps in the franchise, even if others hate it. I can't say the same for CQ10, as I have nothing to work with. Sure it gives it similar puzzle vibes like FE12 prologues that I have defended before, but it is brutal and often pushes me from wanting to pick up conquest if I'm ever in the mood to replay FE. I often feel like I'm one or 2 units short, wishing I had just a few more units to help fight the waves of enemies that often make me split my army in 3, and using pair ups only further reduces how many units are fighting, although using Arthur or even Niles can be hard, as they tend to miss a lot, and any miss can be a game over when you don't have many 2nd plans. You only have 1 Camilla, and not enough money to have 10 vulneraries for your entire army. Defend maps often encourage aggressive plays. CQ10 might as well just demand it. Usually, defend maps give you more than the average deployment limit. This is almost nothing. I can't focus at all on how to feed kills to units in the early game when CQ10 has me fighting for my life so damn early on. Sure I play on lunatic, but hard mode is a lot of the same thing, especially when might in hard and lunatic is for the most part identical.

Holy frrrrrrrrructose that is a large block of text.

Uh, yeah. Agreed. CQ10 is great but it's a little early for it's level of intensity, you don't really have that much flexibility to tackle it differently each play-through.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Already, you watch more anime than me.

This is a monumental burden, but while we're on the subject, how would you like to watch the greatest anime of all time?

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Erica level up

No, it was the first one because I was too lazy to scroll down for another.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I used to be Saul Goodman. Now I'm Patrick Bateman.

I'm going to stick to being Saul Goodman, thanks. That way I can get free food.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I can always count on you for videos. All kinds of them. 

Now show a video debunking science for Ruben.

Not a video, but there was no evidence for the existence of the Hittites outside the Bible until the 1800s.

I'll return with information on the archeological evidence for Exodus once I actually have any information on it.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

@Saint RubenioAnswer his question Seed Man.

It's Speed Man and Seed Man, with their skeleton friend Sneed Man! You are allowed to pick a different nickname if you prefer, so long as the first word starts with an "S" and rhymes with "Seed" while the second word is "Man".

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I don't watch FETubers really, other than occasional meme videos or compilations of obscure units solo'ing the game like JimmyFE's vids. I do watch some Excelblem though. I do get recommended incredibly obscure youtubers with under 300 subs playing FE games since apparently those are what I end up clicking most out of curiosity. Also because no one else plays Archanea games. I know nothing about content creators like Ghast and such.

Oh yeah, @JimmyBeans and Excelblem are great. That's about the same boat I'm in, except I don't even really watch the obscure guys anymore, but I used to keep up with them. Especially back in the day, when Ghast made funny drawing videos rom-hacks instead of half-hour analyses of support conversations. He is getting shredded though, so much like MatPat, I have great admiration for his dominating life even if I don't have much interest in his videos.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Sounds like you're spooked.

I don't much care for spooks, as defined in the philosophy of Max Stirner.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

As I mentioned before, it's another fine line or however you say the term. Give me Est fighter.

It's a good idea, really. Maybe an Est pirate/brigand. 1-2 range is a great benefit for a combat unit (which an Est, by nature of being a unit that gets high stats eventually, is supposed to be). Having it before promotion helps training massively, as does ready access to effective weapons and the steel axe. If they promote to berserker, they also get water-walking utility and crit to boost their combat performance further.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

"Anon, you can't be anonymous on the zoom meeting. Turn on your camera or you get an F. Ruben, stop eating rocks during the call. You're responsible for eating breakfast before class starts."

"I, uh, I have a note from the doctor, professor."

Plot

Spoiler

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Saya channels her hatred of being interrupted to her headband, not wanting to slaughter Eliwood's soldiers after a hard fought battle.

  So are you saying she Feels hatred?

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

the Prince, Roy.

Prince Roy.

the Prince Roy

the prince, Roy

none of the above

Professor, is this question for extra credit?

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well you're 16 when the game started and Roy is 15. FE fans are surprisingly often over 20

The fan-base, as distinguished from the player-base, tends towards losers in their 20s and early 30s over all else. There was probably a time when the Western fandom was more teenagers, but then those guys grew up. People who started playing with Three Houses and haven't played anything before (i.e are legitimately new to the series) probably don't count as members of the "fandom".

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Eliwood is probably still younger than a few Serenes boomers who I pray are not using Nintendo girls as profiles or banners at this point.

Amen.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Placed into the backlogs of FEH only be pulled back every other month for a banner, never allowed to see proper FE again until the release of Engage, in which she will be seen as the star and savior of Elibe before Roy's time.

Great Jar Between Life and Death

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

We don't need Eliwood. We need Fargus's crew. Old man Dart perhaps. I just want to get the morphs over with, before they become too plot relevant again.

Tiger is from that crew, but I forget if he's alive anymore or not. Pretty sure he died.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Controlling parent figure of important character. Siegfried from TLP, but more mindless.

Least ridiculous horny Kaga moment.

Legions of FE fans spilling the fettuccine sauce out of their pockets at the thought of hypnotized Lyn.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Scooping up Zephiel's remains like lowly insects. That's all you'll ever be. 

Oooh, now that's a good line there. Even the greatest in a pile of worms is no match for his boot.

Not gonna quote or respond to your whole schtick about the morphs, but it was good and it was funny and I agree with it. This is a pretty lame plot point, and to be honest, Sword of Heaven and Earth doesn't do as much interesting stuff with it's back half (narrative-wise) as it did in the first- it kinda forgets that just showing other parts of a war-torn world is cool, too.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Watch this man be the final boss. He takes out his mask, then he transforms or fuses with a revived Nergal into some morph beast. 

lmao

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

She's benchable. Very replaceable. The bench gives artists an easy time drawing her since she's not moving about. This is why most axe men aren't drawn. They're too busy being deployed and sent to the frontline for being super awesome.

What a fascinating and most certainly true observation.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I bet Lyn hate was hardly a thing back in the day. Fans were too busy hating on Micaiah and wah wah wah-ing over FE11 having no supports. This really isn't my game story wise when it comes to being expected to give a damn. It's like playing a Sonic game. You're going to call it terrible, but you're still playing it, even if the game isn't meant for you.

Honestly, that's not too out of line with my memories. Hating Lyn was (and still is, but less so due to over-exposure) a kind of rare thing while Micaiah was a lot more controversial. I've kinda warmed up to Micaiah though.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yes I have played several 3d sonic games, and I hate them all. Now I really am a youtuber. 

But what about 2D Sonic? I'd actually be interested to hear how you think they're different.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

As much as I'd want to mock you for submitting yourself to Bern, I and the rest of you are pawns in the sense that we are consoomers to modern industries and corporations.

Industrial society and its consequences moment. We could've had it made, bros.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ruben would submit to anyone if they're attractive enough. Anon would scam people into selling their data and make them his money pawn so he can buy 3 tons of battery acid.

Hey, at least Ruben isn't a gold digger, just marrying people for their money.
Uh. I don't have any money, by the way. I spent it all on battery acid. Don't ask why I need it. I don't know either.
I mean.
Maybe I do.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

He's actually right. It was a very basic kill, but this Roy was Yiik'ing out and I was not risking an ironman.

Roy on his way to becoming a MAN as we speak.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

The classic "If am to die, let me ensure that my people are safe one last time" vibe. He's already more of a hero here than he ever was in Blazing Blade. He cries about his dad, then cries over dead ice dragussy, then Lyn kills Nergal as is canon. This game said so, and I guarantee you Engage will too.

Old people are the greatest characters.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

That's cute. This was a sweet scene. A lot of relatability between Eliwood and Erik Jr over dead dads and wanting to end their feud, and hating Bern, and hating morphs.

Yeah, honestly, this is a great conversation, I definitely like this, and it just goes to show how much better the game would've been (story-wise) if it had just focused on political side-stories around Elibe instead of focusing more and more on the Morph-plot as it went on.

I don't hate Eliwood, though. I mean, everyone knows that dragussy got Elibe actin' unwise, turning Nergal to the dark side and all, but I think it's okay for Eliwood to cry about losing his father. He's the most tempered and reasonable of the FE7 lords, though his forced romantic subplot is sadly somehow worse than watching Hector and Lyn banter for fifteen chapters.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Dude, kill him. End the bloodline. Call your guards. Be victorious!

I am not a good example. For anything.

A good example of how not to be.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You're a kinder man than the knuckleheads who inspired this LP.

C'mon Shaky. You know I'm good to you where it counts. I really put myself out there so you could have material to make fun of me for!

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I haven't even started 17x. 2 reasons. Busy homework week. Most of which I procrastinated on, but I feel busy. Speech due next week. Other reason is because yesterday was Fallout's 25th anniversary and I spent the entire day playing the board game variant and talking trash on Bethesda for ruining the franchise. I'm not a Fire Emblem elitist, but I sure am a Fallout elitist. It hurts being this based.

Of course Ruben hates New Vegas though. So time to offend you with a statement I know will slightly tick you off.

Clearly, you need to play the DLC. 

Also play every route.

Remember, real life comes first.

I'm afraid I don't know much about Fallout, but congratulations on having other things you like to dislike. I've heard New Vegas was pretty good, and the bandage guy is pretty cool. I'd give him a handshake if it didn't look horribly unpleasant for both of us.

Oh boy

Spoiler

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

AnonymousSus

  *AnonySus

C'mon Shaky, you're slipping.

Slippin' Jimmy, that is!

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Bit hollow on the inside.

Her torso is clearly inspired by a light-bulb, there's undoubtedly some kind of halogen inside there.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Almost always seen smiling, clearly showing off razor sharp teeth, even during her boss battle.

The first curve I notice on a girl is her smile.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Claws certainty reveal a fact about someone. At least, that's what Matpat once said. Also sharp.

Please, Skeleton Man, share with me the wisdom of MatPat on this subject.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

One of those gals.

I don't follow.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

hmm...

Surprisingly not surprising at all.

I still don't follow.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

so it's unsurprising for that to be something pleasing what I'm hoping was just young Anon.

This sentence hurts me, because it reminds me that Mighty No. 9 came out in 2016, and I still remember when memes about that game and fallout from the kickstarter were fresh and happening.

To this day I still think "make the bad guys cry like an anime fan on prom night" was a fantastic line.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

It's every FE fan's dream. Young anime girls. And of them all, Anon likes the most sinister looking one.

I'll take this as a compliment.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

By the way, you are not allowed to call me wrong here. I took one psychology course. I know more about you than you ever will.

Three things are truly hard:

1. Steel
2. A Diamond
3. My d- I mean, to know oneself

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

There isn't too much I can gather from her purple hair, since that color in your arousal translated to sexual frustration, and I don't know your sex life.

I can't believe it. You're making fun of me and you're not going to make assumptions about my sex life? What are you, a conservative?

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Now I'm not saying that there's a clear dom vibe going on here, but it's definitely not submissive and breedable that Anon is looking for. Either Anon is Ruben Jr in disguise, or it's one of those bratty people you imagine putting in their place. It doesn't actually have to be one or the other, but no one is that unique. When it comes to dom energy, it's nowhere close to mommy dommy vibes, since there are multiple degrees on how one can be a dom.

W- I-

What?

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Where's the hotness? She got that zap game or something? Do you want to be electrocuted while being stepped on? Perhaps you are the sadist I thought you were and you want to drain all the thunder from her to see the confidence drain from her eyes!

What?!

I came here to be mocked, not read 4chan's sexual fantasies.

Understanding that I am largely responsible for this situation, my heart is filled with grief at the depravity which young minds are aware of these days. Holy heck, man. This is some borderline pornographic language. About strangling people.

Okay you didn't actually say anything about strangulation, maybe that reflects negatively on me that I thought that you did.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Le voice

hmm...

Surprisingly not surprising at all. What a brat.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Also she looks and sound spretty young. Sussy baka. The voice correlates with bratty confidence, aka childlike personality, like Frye from Spla3. At least Lydia is clearly mature...

Okay.

First of all.

I never said I was a fan of her voice.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Well at least I know you're certainty no normie.

I'll take that as a compliment.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

You admire their confidence and vibe, or maybe you really are just turned on by the combination of dominant color schemes and...claws? You know, claws can be linked to masochism? Surely, Anon the based is above this...yes?

I can confirm that I am not a fan of getting hurt.

Alright, now listen. I know you are a certified psychologist, but according to my amateur and less distinguished opinion, there are three factors at play here:

1. I like dark-skinned girls
2. I don't like feet
3. She'll flash her taint at you in her pre-battle cutscene

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

But yes, you are weird. This is a robot with no inside. You might as well tell me you would do a dark vacuum covered in barb wire while it's active, because that's more or less what this is.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Why did I do this? Because I needed to make up for no 17x

I invited this on myself. I hope I'm satisfied.

21 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Here's my crush:

You bony frick, gonna make fun of hollow girls while simping over women with no insides and no skin to boot.

This reply, much like our entire exchange, is perhaps a mistake. It was so bad that Ruben didn't even respond to it. He always beats me to the punch, but now I've figured out his weakness.

Edited October 13, 2022 by AnonymousSpeed
Added an extra joke

[Shaky Jones]

So 2 things happened that I wanted to bring up. One is that I got my laptop hinges fixed. This thing was about to bust, and the LP woulda ended right then and there, so that's nice. The 2nd event was that I watched my bro play Evil Within recently, for spooky month. I bring this up because the main villian is literally a mad scientist named Ruben.

Replies:

Spoiler

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Shaky, I'd like you to know that if you ever feel like this is turning you into an irony-poisoned chunk of coal like myself, you are allowed to stop doing the thing.

I do these because I'm an irony-poisoned chunk of coal. People mistake it for humor and praise my unhealthy detachment from reality for chuckles. 

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Amy Schumer, probably the funniest person on the planet, has built her entire career on one joke. I think Ruben's got this in the bag, once he fixes the accent problem.

Come on. Ruben has so many jokes! Kaga good. 3 Houses bad. Play Berwick. Murica' bad. Rebellions are like seeds. You are my child now. Bull fighting is not animal cruelty and should be legalized world wide.

Yeah no, that's every Ruben joke. He's a walking Kaga shill who pretends he's Garon. Great choice. Most people go for a Breaking Bad character nowadays.

I go off of Shinon.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I want to take a break from the irony and jokes to talk about Gab. They've built their own server infrastructure instead of relying on Amazon's, which is what Parler did before getting promptly un-platformed. I actually find that quite fascinating.

Based.

Too bad no one will ever care because it's not a popular brand. I have no knowledge of Gab and probably won't bother looking into it because it's not conveniently well known and accessible.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I don't really recognize this hack.

When's Ruben Stones coming out?

I hear Ruben's trying to complete it before the end of the year. Garon Clause's gift to the Nohrians.

Also it's The Four Kings. I don't remember the plot at all. It's just a difficult hack with a lot of prf weapons. Fun time.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

To be fair, they have no pain to feel. Except for Feeler. He feels pain.

Can't feel pain if you take no damage.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

The Obama administration retroactively declared civilian casualties as combatants so they could say they killed no civilians while gunning down a 16 year old with drones.

"Your honor, they are combatants. They protested against being killed."

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

This is a monumental burden, but while we're on the subject, how would you like to watch the greatest anime of all time?

I exclusively watch Youtube. It baffles everyone how little I know of any real shows. I'll wear that like a badge of honor. No asks me if I watch new Netflix shows anymore.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

No, it was the first one because I was too lazy to scroll down for another.

Lazy? On my posts? You should feel all the energy and motivation in you rise whenever I post! It's your prime source of endorphins.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

It's Speed Man and Seed Man, with their skeleton friend Sneed Man! You are allowed to pick a different nickname if you prefer, so long as the first word starts with an "S" and rhymes with "Seed" while the second word is "Man".

Me when based and Sneedclave-pilled

This is a fallout community joke that is not worth knowing.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Oh yeah, @JimmyBeans and Excelblem are great. That's about the same boat I'm in, except I don't even really watch the obscure guys anymore, but I used to keep up with them. Especially back in the day, when Ghast made funny drawing videos rom-hacks instead of half-hour analyses of support conversations. He is getting shredded though, so much like MatPat, I have great admiration for his dominating life even if I don't have much interest in his videos.

"Fell off. Not my content. He was better when his life wasn't in order."

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

"I, uh, I have a note from the doctor, professor."

"Alright, hand it over. Come on. Through the zoom meeting. Come on over. Give it me."

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Professor, is this question for extra credit?

The only extra credit in this class is to not bully your fellow students.

I have actually just solved bullying.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Tiger is from that crew, but I forget if he's alive anymore or not. Pretty sure he died.

Nah, he living. A shame I didn't use him. Too many units and whatnot. Poor Jeff. His growths were not living up to my hopes.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

This is a pretty lame plot point, and to be honest, Sword of Heaven and Earth doesn't do as much interesting stuff with it's back half (narrative-wise) as it did in the first- it kinda forgets that just showing other parts of a war-torn world is cool, too.

Being a hack focused on a daughter of an FE7 character, they must've felt obligated to have FE7 content, so they went for what they thought would've been extra character for the morphs. 

Honestly, it would've been better if Lyn just also got Eliwood's illness and asked you to do everything for her. 2 outta 3 incompetent past lords, 1 outta 3 incompetent old man fighters.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

But what about 2D Sonic? I'd actually be interested to hear how you think they're different.

They're alright. Still inherently flawed because going fast is half the point, but also the punish. I rarely played fast as a kid to avoid getting him, or I just ran into things and randomly picked up rings to slug my way through. Really it was the colors and music of the genesis that made the game feel great. Also heavy nostalgia. I don't have much of a say for 2d Sonic. I'm not a fan of any of the games. I mainly played the 3d ones because my bro would basically prank me by buying me bad games, and I'd be obligated to play them. Sonic 06 was at least the funny bad game that I just had to see for myself. Adventure 1 and 2 were just me once again being a contrarian by hating popular thing. To heck with them, especially the overworld garbage.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I don't hate Eliwood, though. I mean, everyone knows that dragussy got Elibe actin' unwise, turning Nergal to the dark side and all, but I think it's okay for Eliwood to cry about losing his father. He's the most tempered and reasonable of the FE7 lords, though his forced romantic subplot is sadly somehow worse than watching Hector and Lyn banter for fifteen chapters.

A shame I am surprisingly alone in this Eliwood hate camp. Most people favor him over Lyn and Hector, while's he's easily my least favorite lord. Admittedly, a lot of it is based on gameplay aspects, but I just don't like him. It doesn't help that I always do hector mode and eliwood is just the guy that tags along and whines every now and again while Hector does all the cool talk and goes "blast!". I like it when he says that. Eliwood bores me so much, and he's literally slightly older Roy with even less character. Roy has some decent dialogue when you look past his blank expressions and simple plotline, which is arguably Archanea-like.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

C'mon Shaky. You know I'm good to you where it counts. I really put myself out there so you could have material to make fun of me for!

And that turned out to be the worst thing in any LP ever. Let's not do that again.

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

I'm afraid I don't know much about Fallout, but congratulations on having other things you like to dislike. I've heard New Vegas was pretty good, and the bandage guy is pretty cool. I'd give him a handshake if it didn't look horribly unpleasant for both of us.

Me when funny gun burned man says "We can't expect God to do all the work".

On 10/12/2022 at 8:01 PM, AnonymousSpeed said:

This reply, much like our entire exchange, is perhaps a mistake. It was so bad that Ruben didn't even respond to it. He always beats me to the punch, but now I've figured out his weakness.

I'm not even replying to the individual replies. I'm just going to stick to Ruben jokes and fe6 slander. That's the closest to bullying you I'll probably ever get, unless I find out how to attack your political takes. It'll be a lot easier if Juno comes back.

 

Ruben was too disgusted to reply. I don't blame you. I'll say something you would say.

On 10/13/2002 at 4:44 A.M, Saint Rubenio said:

   Sorry pal. I have to go work at my Bull Fighting establishment. I've been scheduled to personally beat a bull to death to excite the crowd from regular animal abuse. Wish me luck Shaky. Praise Science! Use the 2 luck unit. Dew it.

No.

Chapter 17x: Knight's Pride

Spoiler

I Hate Being Obligated To Watch Cutscenes:

Spoiler

Repelled onslaught? I slaughtered Bern. Zephiel finna got flamed. Roasted til he toasted. Suicide by mutilation and thrown under the pacific ocean.

twitchcon. Xqc's gonna be there. Girl streamers will be there. Critikal's not gonna be there. Or Ludwig. Or any well known streamer.

I actually can't name a single female twitch streamer to complete the joke. That sounds like a good thing if you ask me.

ya mom

Me after one day in Spain.

Fixing their marriage.

Anakin reference

Yeah yeah, fight the good fight. I download child murder mods. Move on.

Or maybe they'd like to reunite with their kids soon. Ever think of that? No, you didn't, you selfish bloke.

Edelgard has ruined the word "path" for me. Thanks 3 Houses. She really united the fanbase there.

This is like hearing that there will be smog in L.A. today. It's LA. Of course there's smog.

Preparations:

I refuse to reach chapter 20 and not have an army of promos. If someone is unpromoted by then, I'm killing them.

Wanting to counter potential steamrolling, these guys use Vince killers and Nikita annihilators. However, there is one fatal flaw in their tactics.

They don't have the slayers that actually do anything. Sieks. Feeler. What kind of disgusting casual do you think I am? 

You would be.

Karen, throwing her life on the line to protect the children from Jugdral fans (they love child murder), neglected the largest danger of them all. Children themselves. The others, they grabbed one girl and forced her onto the mouth of a big bear, and what would happen next would be known as the bite of 83'.

Karen will have to face some enemies alone, giving the delinquents more than enough time to destroy the little girl's frontal lobe.

Speaking of Karen:

Redeemed Karen. She gained a conscious after yelling at one too many adolescent part time employees and causing one to have a break down and start crying. She was then swiftly banished from the council of middle aged bigotry (commonly referred to as the legislative branch). Now, she aides the youngins' and raises them to not make the mistake of working at fast food joints, because you will lose your sanity dealing with customers like what she once was. The B ranks stand for the b**ch she once was, boasting a decent staff rank for her sleep staff she often uses on herself to substitute for sleeping pills. I don't plan on using the staff, but I'm glad I can take it from her, because I also have problems sleeping. 16 speed great, but her magic is lacking. It still beats Cecilia by a long shot, so she's more than serviceable. Her stats are similar to Red Lysithea, but she actually has a staff rank, which is usually the main appeal of prepromoted magic users. Obviously, her HP is pitiful. Have you seen Karens actually getting into fights. Dude, a friend showed me once, it was disturbing. They were pummeled my guy, like blood was everywhere, I think they actually died. My friends have shown me that kind of stuff before. If they lived, good God I think death would be mercy at that point, that skull was caving in. So much blood.

Where was I? Right, she's alright. Better than redhead. Rank is nice. Speed is decent. Magic sucks, but that's just how prepromotes are. Better than Pent, who defies any idea of balance. Sure, he's supposed to be strong story-wise, but why get him so early then, completely destroying the usefulness of Erk. I prefer these kinds of units. B tier.

Turn 1: I Traded The Iron Rune To Erica Because The First Guy Had A Short Bow

Only the most clever of strategies in my LP's. I put Erica at the front on preps, so she can be on the front in combat. It doesn't get more tactical than this in the franchise.

Camilla is lucky she gets to be Feeler's personal dancer from here on out. It will almost always be for him.

While Saya is sightseeing over the mountains, Karen uses the forest to confuse the myrmidon. If this game had hard mode, this would be highly rng based, and I'd lose Karen in 2 turns.

Genealogy also had me lose units immediately, but I'm not allowed to complain about it because "you have save points" and "Shannan will dodge". Sure, tell that to my 8 resets. 

Turn 2: Also Feeler is Immune to Damage

Fritz...bad

Feeler...wasn't feeling it.

Yaraf...good

Losers use Camilla and Leo to create a delusional Fates reference. Real men use Feeler to honor Bantu's legacy.

If I had Feena in my FE12 PMU, you could've bet your bull that I would've made her Bantu's hired assistant, probably against her will knowing the direction of that lp. The amount of Kaga jokes would've been astounding.

Soldiers are very weak on player phase, but their steel lances will destroy you if you let them catch up with Karen. Of course, their hit rate will be abysmal, but I am not risking envisioning that bloody video again in this game. God, the brutality, and everyone just watched...

Conveniently weak myrm deal miniscule damage to unit with 7 defense, but now they're on a bush, and the wind refuses to cut down the trees that gave it life.

The archers are fair game though. 

Turn 3: This Map Is Just a Karen Puzzle

More employees come in to work the PM hours at the local Carl's Sr, but they have been mistaken for child murderers given their hollow expressions going to work 8 hours for minimum wage to pay for the gas they usually use to get to work. Things are not looking good for Karen or the enemy. How is Saya's team doing?

This is as mindless as a Sigurd solo.

Seriously. This map is a waste of Feeler's time.

Ignore the previous statement.

The one threat in the map. This isn't a joke. Nothing else currently in this map can hurt him.

The myrm left his forest to chase Karen. She told him that the last to leave the forest is a rotten egg. At least he will die a fresh batch of yolk splattered on the soils of Earth.

Turn 4: Right Side of The Bed

It's important to start your day off positively. Sometimes that means starting it with a bang. I apply this to starting my turns in FE, unable to bang IRL for various reasons.

Dodging a 1 might hit is like dodging a pat on the back. Why? You wasted more energy than just taking it. It wouldn't have hurt. The archer probably just wanted your attention. I never dodged jabs. was always bad at reacting, so people tried to make me flinch by pretending to hit me. A friend was really good at looking like they were going to punch me really hard, but stop right before they made contact. A girl saw this and tried to be the one to make me react with her own fake hit, except she actually punched me in the stomach. It didn't hurt though, not because I'm bulky, but because I was so distracted by schoolwork that my brain didn't bother sending pain receptors and it didn't really occur to me that I was even punched until 30 seconds after it happened. At least I looked impressive by not reacting, but also very slow in the head. Moral of the story, don't bother dodging. You'll probably be fine.

Don't let the other archers outdo you man. You're my favorite one.

Oh no. Yaraf!

Dammit! He ate the earth seal.

While I usually crap on FE7 promo bonuses, these are very Yaraf. This feels intentional. Well done.

Turn 5: Sieks Breaks A Tree

Also Yaraf is carrying Feeler to help him reach Karen. That's about it. See ya.

Turn 6: They Killed Fallout Y'know

Rescue? Completed. Objective?

Oh, the objective is to kill the boss. The boss isn't here yet. I've been playing Bethesda games lately, so I've gotten used to that not happening because of glitches, but FE games actually have quality, so I am forced to wait.

FEH shows that there are a lot of buyers for that.

He always comes back.

Turn 7: If You Like Fallout 4, You Should Feel Horrible

Buddy. You're killing me. You're not the boss? You're all time wasters! When will someone worthy challenge me!? 

Oh, hey there. Feeler, go feel them will you?

Thanks.

On one side is most of my army. On the other is Feeler. I had to try and even it out somehow.

Wait a Chris Chan second.

Holy Cannoli!

Turn 8: Atheists Will Say They Choose To Not Waste Their Life Worshipping a God, Then Worship Alban And Science

Someone is a very happy man right now. 

I am pondering back to the first post of this LP, where I admitted that the main reason I agreed to LP this was because of this very man. Now that I'm here, I don't know what to say. I guess I can finally end this LP. Why should I care about the rest? Morphs? No.

I'm just kidding. I'm contractually obligated to have Feeler feel all the bad guys. In return, I get Ruben and Anon's bones when they expire to study and/or troll. Don't worry. Your spirit will still move on, except maybe Ruben. There actually hasn't been a single Spaniard allowed in Heaven, and Hell reminds them too much of home, so you'll probably chill with me, only your skeleton has a beard, and we're both endlessly grumpy at everything. 

This axe was responsible for the murder of the Wolfguard.

Erica will be responsible for frequently critting besides Sieks. Do I have to bring back the bit where Erica has a crush on him? Not sure you'll be the one to spice up his dull life, but if you feel that way then by all means go for it. 

Saya has a seizure. It was funny to watch, but the fighter tried to pull her back together. The flailing killed him.

A bunch of burly baddies accompanied by the one nerd in the friend group. It doesn't bother anyone though because all of them are sociopaths who share the same sense of humor.

The exact damage was too tempting, and so was 66. That's Sieks's number. It's also the most memorable part of the franchise with more flops than zingers, much like Fire Emblem, except somehow worse.

To a homeless man, most of us are enemies with red gem drops. To me, they're 7xp.

I lied! I did use the sleep staff! Tell me you saw that coming! YOU CAN'T!!!

Not a single one of you could rat me out to the bandits. The ol Shaky Special! I've done it before and I'll do it a million times. You can't gorsh me. I keep on on your toes.

Feast your eyes on true gaming! This is what happens when you play FE 4th dimensionally.

If the sleep missed, I'm pretty sure Sieks would still survive a hammer.

Meanwhile...

Take your screenshot Ruben. Lydia is nothing compared to Feeler. Now this is a worthy opponent.

Turn 9: Their Battle Destroyed My Camera

This was the only recovered footage of turn 9

Turn 10: I Hired A New Cameraman

This is why you don't early promote.

This is why you don't sleep.

Erica pretended that she was going to pass out if someone didn't dance for her. It does not take a turn just to use an earth seal. All you do is hold it up to the air, or maybe you eat it, which makes it a refresher.

After how much I harassed SoHaE for being too much like FE7, the devs updated their game by giving the archers great growths. The man who fixed my laptop was actually someone hired by the dev to personally install the patch to my file to give me a better time with the game. Erica's the perfect unit to get high strength and low speed on promo. Hopefully Trachina will get +8 magic and con.

Feeler is already my best unit. I'm not joking.

Luck is the worst stat if I give him an iron rune, but it's nice on him otherwise. What I really need is probably defense, as enemies will sooner or later reach 30s in might, and I can only assume the final boss has a might of 50, but if it's magic, I am donion rings.

Turn 11: El Fin

Dude should've had a wyvernslayer. This map needed them. Feeler can't keep getting away with this.

Feeler feels Alban's power surging through to him.

I cannot rate this map. It was the most mid map with almost nothing to it after the first 3 Karen filled turns, but it has the legendary battle. I'll give it a Ruben/10. You determine whether that's a great rating or hideous. 

Literal Time Waster:

Spoiler

Hello Karen. Everyone, say hi to Karen.

Gen 2 kids. Can I have one?

And society says they're the bad guys.

I am also attacked, mostly online. 

to war.

the Bern. 

the Sanders. Dude, the Sander's army. That sounds dope. Make that a romhack enemy.

Or. Better idea. The United Kingdom. I would kill a monarch to have an FE game where I battle the Brits. For justice, of course.

That is disgusting. That is f wording disgusting. This sentence just tells you the good and bad of Elibe games.

Saya fakes enthusiasm to be respectful to knight who lost everything, losing sanity herself.

Saya has had awful experiences with Karens. 

Equipping it onto your hand is out of the question. That's FE4. Obviously, other characters must be using it differently for it to disappear. The villagers can't figure it out, so the method is either unconventional or impossible for the ginger lady. Either you eat it, or put it on your di-

 

 

[Saint Rubenio]

D'oh I missed.

An update.

Ah well, I'm sure I didn't miss much anyway--

On 10/13/2022 at 5:01 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

Alright, now listen. I know you are a certified psychologist, but according to my amateur and less distinguished opinion, there are three factors at play here:

1. I like dark-skinned girls
2. I don't like feet
3. She'll flash her taint at you in her pre-battle cutscene

For Christ's sake, guys. I leave you for one update and you lose it completely. It was one update!

Spoiler

 

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You guys know other unique Est types, from either main FE or romhacks?

 

Well, there's Leonie from TearRing, the wonderful archer with the atomic growths, particularly a 10% move growth. She's always fun.

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

You told me constantly to have faith in Yubello. Why did you not have confidence in Feeler?

I have confidence in Feeler. I have no confidence in you!

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Most of my thoughts on defend maps were already explained then. It can be interesting, but why try when they almost always suck? It's easy to think of making a defend map and just considering throwing in hoards of enemies while you sit still for 10+ turns. That's usually how defend sections work in other games. You camp in one spot while bombarded and use everything you have to not be overwhelmed. I typically imagine these in games with guns and such, but there's probably tons of genres that pull this off. In FE, it's basically just chokepoints. Camping in FE is boring. I don't feel incentivized into using my staves or braves when these maps more often than not go for quantity over quality. You don't want to make defend maps hard by spamming triple the enemy numbers, but making the enemies much stronger makes defending possibly too much. It's also just bland design if half of the map is "6+ of the same class enemies every other turn". Narratively, I like defend maps. Sometimes the enemy has just managed to surround you at whatever camping location or castle you're at. They throw everything they have to destroy you, and you use the layout of the building to survive long enough. Usually, these maps have green units, but  more often than not, they're useless. At least SoHaE had physic allies that helped me. I like 14 of thracia well enough, even if the enemy spam gets a little ridiculous, mostly because it's supposed to be a really hard chapter, and you have optional houses that offer great rewards if you actually play the map aggressively. It's also just generally more helpful, as waiting inside the whole time gives the enemy more opportunity to summon enemies from affar to spawn in combination with other enemies that make tanking them very hard. There are also multiple ballistae that you'd really want to deal with, as they make the 2 wyverns that join you difficult to use, although you could look at that as horrible Kaga design if you hate the feeling of being trolled. Elincia's gambit is another famous defend maps that I love narratively. The music is amazing, the semi-endgame vibe of it while your Crimean squad, aka Brom, defends the wave of enemies attacking your castle. I like the base design of the map, and it was reused for a Fates DLC. These maps will still promote heavy enemy phase action, but one could see that as a good thing if you want your game to have some of all sorts of playstyles and some kind of incentive to use units that work well on enemy phase, although I much prefer pure player phase gaming. It's why I am a huge fan of escape maps, such as the Manster arc or FE12 chapter 8. These also work well on a narrative perspective, similar in many ways to defend maps, but are opposites in how the player moves. Defend maps largely encourage preventing any enemies from entering your fort. Escape maps encourage you to run away as fast as possible. Of course, escape maps are more stressful, and basically demand good gameplay, which might not bode well with casual players as opposed to defend maps, where casual players can sit there for 12 turns, while experts can try routing the map for all the rewards. I don't recall if Elincia's gambit has a reward for aggressive plays. I think there was a speedwing, but I could be wrong. I simply like trying to kill the boss because it feels better. Conquest in particular is so hard, that trying to use chokepoints is almost certain death. Skills like lunge prevent you from unequipping an item and holding off one enemy to block everyone else. Ninjas spawn and will poison and debuff you. These prevent a defense blessed corrin from just tanking the map with a dragonstone. You have various ways to fight off the enemy, like the fire orb to weaken several brigands at once, a freeze staff to stop the stronger enemies from overwhelming you (paired up enemies are particularly tough), and you're much more likely to use personal skills to gain every bit of advantage. Defending might work at first, but once Takumi destroys the water, you are doomed if you have not been routing the upper half of the map. You could be rewarded by killing Takumi quickly, as it does prevent him from removing the water, but this is virutally impossible. I would say it is infinitely easier to defeat Zephiel here than it is to somehow reach Takumi and kill him in less than 7 turns. This could be skill issue, but I fear what skill is expected of me this early in the game after going through FE12 reverse lunatic and still struggling in CQ10. My main problem has always been that it's too early in the game for a defend map as aggressive as it is. People hate how FE12's prologue's are basically puzzles that require perfect play to win. A lot of this comes from how small the maps are, but at least dying only makes you lose a minute. It's nauseating to spend over an hour in CQ10 and then you miss a hit on a ninja or miss your arrow against the pegs that head straight to the top, making you instantly lose. In a way, this is generally a probelm some have with CQ. It's incredibly hard, but unlike DSFE, there are no save points or any way to keep progress, meaning that one unlucky miss could mean the start of the entire map. While I tend to dismiss these as skill issue in some games, I've experienced this far too much in CQ10, as I don't have enough time to set up any kind of build. I am more often than not prepared for Fuga's wild ride, and consider it to be one of the most fun maps in the franchise, even if others hate it. I can't say the same for CQ10, as I have nothing to work with. Sure it gives it similar puzzle vibes like FE12 prologues that I have defended before, but it is brutal and often pushes me from wanting to pick up conquest if I'm ever in the mood to replay FE. I often feel like I'm one or 2 units short, wishing I had just a few more units to help fight the waves of enemies that often make me split my army in 3, and using pair ups only further reduces how many units are fighting, although using Arthur or even Niles can be hard, as they tend to miss a lot, and any miss can be a game over when you don't have many 2nd plans. You only have 1 Camilla, and not enough money to have 10 vulneraries for your entire army. Defend maps often encourage aggressive plays. CQ10 might as well just demand it. Usually, defend maps give you more than the average deployment limit. This is almost nothing. I can't focus at all on how to feed kills to units in the early game when CQ10 has me fighting for my life so damn early on. Sure I play on lunatic, but hard mode is a lot of the same thing, especially when might in hard and lunatic is for the most part identical.

I like the words. Next time though, apply some enter key, would you?

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

@Saint RubenioAnswer his question Seed Man.

You mean Ruben Stones? Ruben Stones is very based "throw whatever shit I come up with at the wall and hope nothing breaks" hack.

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Otto fucking damn it.

Oh hey, it's the man with the great disguise.

His forgettableness is a far greater disguise than that silly mask.

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Look at this dude!

 

That line got me.

Why would anyone complain about this translation is beyond me.

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Least ridiculous horny Kaga moment.

Okay yeah I can't deny it.

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Or maybe it's just Lyn and it's literally The Last Promise.

This divine sword shall pierce the heaven and earth!

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Ruben would submit to anyone if they're attractive enough.

Why?

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

That's cute. This was a sweet scene. A lot of relatability between Eliwood and Erik Jr over dead dads and wanting to end their feud, and hating Bern, and hating morphs.

Awww, what's cute is watching you be positive!

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

Of course Ruben hates New Vegas though. So time to offend you with a statement I know will slightly tick you off.

Clearly, you need to play the DLC. 

Also play every route.

Should I tell you where you can shove your routes?

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

AnonymousSus

The hell even was that.

On 10/12/2022 at 9:14 AM, Shaky Jones said:

I'm basically saying there is far more evidence pointing to you being a mini Ruben, but the strong girl vibe is replaced with mildly malicious. 

Gahahah... Oh, how the turn tables.

On 10/13/2022 at 5:01 AM, AnonymousSpeed said:

When's Ruben Stones coming out?

Soon™

20 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

The 2nd event was that I watched my bro play Evil Within recently, for spooky month. I bring this up because the main villian is literally a mad scientist named Ruben.

Okay that's actually amazing. Now I gotta play this game, whatever it is, so I can kill me.

...I do get to kill me, don't I? How hard did you cheer when that was going on?

21 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Come on. Ruben has so many jokes! Kaga good. 3 Houses bad. Play Berwick. Murica' bad. Rebellions are like seeds. You are my child now. Bull fighting is not animal cruelty and should be legalized world wide.

Yeah no, that's every Ruben joke. He's a walking Kaga shill who pretends he's Garon. Great choice. Most people go for a Breaking Bad character nowadays.

I will not suck Mike's dick. He is overrated and would lose in a fist fight against Lyle.

21 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I hear Ruben's trying to complete it before the end of the year. Garon Clause's gift to the Nohrians.

I mean, I've two and a half months left and I've three chapters left.

22 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Ruben was too disgusted to reply. I don't blame you. I'll say something you would say.

Oh, boy.

22 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

On 10/13/2002 at 4:44 A.M, Saint Rubenio said:

   Sorry pal. I have to go work at my Bull Fighting establishment. I've been scheduled to personally beat a bull to death to excite the crowd from regular animal abuse. Wish me luck Shaky. Praise Science! Use the 2 luck unit. Dew it.

No.

Why is this my new catchphrase? I only brought up bull fighting once, and it wasn't even here!

"Use the 2 luck unit. Dew it."

...Okay, that is very like me, though...

22 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Me after one day in Spain.

You after one day in America is silence, because you got shot.

23 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I refuse to reach chapter 20 and not have an army of promos. If someone is unpromoted by then, I'm killing them.

Bad Shaky. You must hoard your earth seals in case you need them Later™

23 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Where was I? Right, she's alright. Better than redhead. Rank is nice. Speed is decent. Magic sucks, but that's just how prepromotes are. Better than Pent, who defies any idea of balance. Sure, he's supposed to be strong story-wise, but why get him so early then, completely destroying the usefulness of Erk. I prefer these kinds of units. B tier.

Karen's basically Eliza except she trades the uber growths for a staff rank. Also, she's made of wet toilet paper. She's even more fragile than the 80 year old woman. Amazing.

24 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Camilla is lucky she gets to be Feeler's personal dancer from here on out. It will almost always be for him.

You know, Shaky, it is always an option to say nothing.

24 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yaraf...good

Big stats on the big man. Even big speed, for his bigness allows him great momentum.

 

25 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Seriously. This map is a waste of Feeler's time.

Putting that growth item to good use. Way to go, Feeler.

25 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Oh no. Yaraf!

Dammit! He ate the earth seal.

While I usually crap on FE7 promo bonuses, these are very Yaraf. This feels intentional. Well done.

Helps that they aren't that bad, by FE7 standards. At least there's one of everything. It's not those horrendous warrior or falco gains... Eugh.

26 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Wait a Chris Chan second.

Holy Cannoli!

He's here.

26 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I am pondering back to the first post of this LP, where I admitted that the main reason I agreed to LP this was because of this very man. Now that I'm here, I don't know what to say.

I can say with certainty that it will be a... remarkable battle.

26 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

Take your screenshot Ruben. Lydia is nothing compared to Feeler. Now this is a worthy opponent.

I cannot deny it. I love this.

27 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

I cannot rate this map. It was the most mid map with almost nothing to it after the first 3 Karen filled turns, but it has the legendary battle. I'll give it a Ruben/10. You determine whether that's a great rating or hideous. 

It is equivalent to Garon/10

27 minutes ago, Shaky Jones said:

put it on your di-

If you put something like a ring in your diaphragm, you'll die.

 

[AnonymousSpeed]

On 5/10/2022 at 11:47 PM, Shaky Jones said:

What are you two doing to my let's play!?

The world may never know.

@Shaky Jones

Spoiler

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Yeah no, that's every Ruben joke. He's a walking Kaga shill who pretends he's Garon. Great choice. Most people go for a Breaking Bad character nowadays.

I go off of Shinon.

  I suppose I applaud the variety. I'm quite fond of Shinon, really.

"Gatrie. Why are there splinters on your crotch?"

"Well...do you remember when you said I'd flirt with a tree if you put a skirt on it?"

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

Too bad no one will ever care because it's not a popular brand. I have no knowledge of Gab and probably won't bother looking into it because it's not conveniently well known and accessible.

It's like Conservative twitter or something. I think they ban people with anime avatars. That's probably good and doesn't affect us directly, but most of the people we associate with do use anime avatars, so it's a little awkward.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

"Your honor, they are combatants. They protested against being killed."

>mfw resisting arrest is a crime

I mean, it makes sense, unlike those guys who think we should have gunned down the January 6th protesters. Which we kind of did. 2-0 K-D.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

I exclusively watch Youtube. It baffles everyone how little I know of any real shows. I'll wear that like a badge of honor. No asks me if I watch new Netflix shows anymore.

Oh, that is quite an honor! I don't really watch shows either, but I'm interested enough in hearing other people's opinions that I typically let them talk about the shows instead of bringing that up. It's been great because my internet friends all hate the Rings of Power while the people at work have been mildly positive. Not sure what to make of that. Regardless, not getting asked about new shows sounds incredible, congratulations on this blessing.

4 hours ago, Shaky Jones said:

This is a fallout community joke that is not worth knowing.