Is My Underdog Story Flawed?

[--ACE--]

So, i'm writing a story that goes like this: In my world, superpowers exist and almost every human being has them. But among them, there is a little girl who was born without powers, but over the years, developed a genetic condition never seen before, which basically turned her into a super-soldier. With no powers at all, she could lift cars at the age of seven, have highly resistant durability and enhanced speed, not to mention the side effects she gained over time, such as inhibiting certain feelings, changing the color of her eyes whenever she felt a different feeling, and not being able to feel heat or cold. Other people call her a monster and a freak because of this (because they are actually afraid of her, they think she is some kind of new model of human being, and this also makes them jealous, because they are not like her. So they take it out on her with mistreatment, like Lex Luthor in Superman). She suffers a huge lack of respect and wants to do anything to get it.

My intentions were to break some of the stereotypes present in fiction, like: 

Stereotypes: In a world with superpowers, the underdog is the one who does NOT have superpowers.

My version: In a world with superpowers, the underdog is the one who also HAS superpowers. 

But I am in doubt... Like, I know it doesn't make sense but... I don't know, I want her to be an underdog because she has powers, but I also want her world to have superpowers, will I have to sacrifice one of those? 

What do you guys say? Be honest please, is my underdog story flawed? What could I do to improve it or at least make it coherent or believable? Tell me EVERYTHING you think and don't spare me anything!

Edited May 31, 2022 by --ACE--

[Armchair General]

This is literally the character arc of My Hero Academia

[indigoasis]

From my understanding, the point of an underdog story is to have a character that's seemingly weaker than others rise above or reach equal footing with others through methods different from how someone else might typically reach that station. Y'know, basically show everyone up and prove 'em wrong.

However, from the sound of your concept, your underdog is more of an overdog, which wouldn't really make it an underdog story anymore. She was born without superpowers, but then gains superpowers anyway. She's pretty much just a late bloomer, so there really isn't anything to indicate that she's an underdog of any kind. With that last part about society coming to fear her, she sounds more like an outcast if anything, which doesn't necessarily equate her to being an underdog.

Another point I'd like to add is something from The Incredibles. The main villain's entire motive is to make everyone reach a point where they can consider themselves super, which by that metric, makes everyone not super since they'll all be the same. That's the abridged version, but the main idea still stands. When everyone is super, no one is super, and your main character reaches a point that makes them more powerful than other superpowered people, which would essentially make her super compared to everyone else, which (again) doesn't make her an underdog.

I would suggest giving this video a watch. It doesn't necessarily delve deep into underdogs or anything, but I think it gives an interesting insight into why character struggles are so important.

Whatever you take away from this, I hope you can refine your story concept into something to break the mold.

[--ACE--]

2 hours ago, Armchair General said:

This is literally the character arc of My Hero Academia

You think so? With all due respect, I honestly don't see much similarity. In MHA, Izuku received the powers from All Might, and as soon as he received the powers, he stopped being an underdog because he started fitting in with society. Basicaly, we only see Izuku as an underdog for one episode.
In my story, the character would develop the power on her own, and from the point that these powers came, she would become the Underdog and stay in this position for more than 12 years.

1 hour ago, indigoasis said:

From my understanding, the point of an underdog story is to have a character that's seemingly weaker than others rise above or reach equal footing with others through methods different from how someone else might typically reach that station. Y'know, basically show everyone up and prove 'em wrong.

However, from the sound of your concept, your underdog is more of an overdog, which wouldn't really make it an underdog story anymore. She was born without superpowers, but then gains superpowers anyway. She's pretty much just a late bloomer, so there really isn't anything to indicate that she's an underdog of any kind. With that last part about society coming to fear her, she sounds more like an outcast if anything, which doesn't necessarily equate her to being an underdog.

Another point I'd like to add is something from The Incredibles. The main villain's entire motive is to make everyone reach a point where they can consider themselves super, which by that metric, makes everyone not super since they'll all be the same. That's the abridged version, but the main idea still stands. When everyone is super, no one is super, and your main character reaches a point that makes them more powerful than other superpowered people, which would essentially make her super compared to everyone else, which (again) doesn't make her an underdog.

I would suggest giving this video a watch. It doesn't necessarily delve deep into underdogs or anything, but I think it gives an interesting insight into why character struggles are so important.

Whatever you take away from this, I hope you can refine your story concept into something to break the mold.

Thanks Indigoasis! Whenever i need help, i always see you comenting and giving good advices. Thanks man! 

And you are right, maybe I used the wrong expression, I think "Outcast" really suits her better. But then, looking at it from the point of view of an Outcast story, could my story be better, or is what I have enough? Or what changes could I make to improve it? I'm open to suggestions. 

And my story is much more than that, it's good, I swear. This superpower part is like just a pretext for my protagonist having powers, and being an Outcast in a world with powers just the same. It is also a pretext for the protagonist in her quest for respect, as it is the main theme of the story and her motivation. (She has other more complex motivations but I will not unnecessarily tell you about them.) But if you guys have suggestions of a better pretext, i'm all ears!

(And remember, I'm only asking this to see a reader's point of view.)

[indigoasis]

1 hour ago, --ACE-- said:

Thanks Indigoasis! Whenever i need help, i always see you comenting and giving good advices. Thanks man! 

And you are right, maybe I used the wrong expression, I think "Outcast" really suits her better. But then, looking at it from the point of view of an Outcast story, could my story be better, or is what I have enough? Or what changes could I make to improve it? I'm open to suggestions. 

And my story is much more than that, it's good, I swear. This superpower part is like just a pretext for my protagonist having powers, and being an Outcast in a world with powers just the same. It is also a pretext for the protagonist in her quest for respect, as it is the main theme of the story and her motivation. (She has other more complex motivations but I will not unnecessarily tell you about them.) But if you guys have suggestions of a better pretext, i'm all ears!

(And remember, I'm only asking this to see a reader's point of view.)

Thank you for the compliment! I try to give as much positive feedback as I can without being too harsh.

As an "outcast" story, I think what you've got is a pretty solid foundation. From the sound of it, superpowers will end up being a main plot device, especially since they seem to be a point of contention in your story's world and due to the nature of them as a whole anyway. With that said...

1 hour ago, --ACE-- said:

In my story, the character would develop the power on her own, and from the point that these powers came, she would become the Underdog and stay in this position for more than 12 years.

I think I better understand the main character's position. So she'll go from being an underdog to a respected member of society to an outcast as she grows in both age and power... does that sound about right? I think that could be a nice progression, especially if you harp on key moments in her life that kind of serve as turning points for her position in society while gradually building up her powers at the same time. Maybe you could even get it to the point where her powers become even too much for her to handle?

[--ACE--]

3 hours ago, indigoasis said:

As an "outcast" story, I think what you've got is a pretty solid foundation.

You really think so? 😃

3 hours ago, indigoasis said:

From the sound of it, superpowers will end up being a main plot device, especially since they seem to be a point of contention in your story's world and due to the nature of them as a whole anyway.

Yes, the superpowers will be fundamental to the story, it was something I couldn't think of dispensing with. The villain's origin, by the way, alludes to that of the protagonist and shows the effect that the surge of superpowers can have on someone who never had them. 
But now, talking about her: I suppose that for this pretext to be well executed, her power must really stand out among the other Supers. In this world, there are fire manipulators, ice manipulators, lightning manipulators, flying men, men with animal features, or even a toilet face man! 

What could she have to really make her stand out among the other supers? Is what she has enough, or would she need something more to really be more super than the rest?

Quote

I think I better understand the main character's position. So she'll go from being an underdog to a respected member of society to an outcast as she grows in both age and power... does that sound about right? I think that could be a nice progression, especially if you harp on key moments in her life that kind of serve as turning points for her position in society while gradually building up her powers at the same time. Maybe you could even get it to the point where her powers become even too much for her to handle?

That's a pretty good suggestion! Thanks for the attention. 

Edited May 31, 2022 by --ACE--

[indigoasis]

4 minutes ago, --ACE-- said:

What could she have to really make her stand out among the other supers? Is what she has enough, or would she need something more to really be more super than the rest?

I think that depends on what kinds of powers you have in mind for other characters to have, which you already seem to have some ideas for. And she doesn't need to be "more super" than the rest, but instead you can give her something to set her apart from her peers enough to make them fear her, a power that she can build up as her character progresses, going from relatively harmless at first to outright terrifying.

To give some insight, you'll often see in comics that there are multiple heroes with the same or similar powers that exist in the same world(s). I'll list off some in the spoiler tag:

Spoiler

Marvel and DC like to have multiple characters act under the same monikers a lot, so here are some I can think of.

• Spider-Man: This is an easy one. Peter Parker and Miles Morales are the big two you'll see the most often, but there's also Silk (Cindy Moon), who was bitten by the same spider as Peter.
• Ghost Rider: You've got Johnny Blaze and Robbie Reyes and whatnot, but there have been a plethora of Spirits of Vengeance that have taken on the mantle prior to Johnny Blaze (like his ancestors, for instance).
• Green Lantern: There's literally an entire Corps of them.
• Flash: I don't keep up with DC, but there's Barry Allen and Wally West.

Basically, characters with the same powers can exist at the same time, but I'd suggest giving your main character a power that only they have.

For example (and I'm taking inspiration from the magic weapon triangle from older FE titles), you could give everyone else powers related to elemental manipulation, but the main character could have powers related to light and dark that trumps the elemental powers, which would set her apart from her peers enough to ostracize her.

I'm not saying you should do this since it's just an example, but I think you can pick out the basic idea here.

Here's another thought; you mentioned her eye color changing based on her emotions, but you could go deeper than that. What if her powers manifested differently based on her mood?

See what you can come up with!

[--ACE--]

14 hours ago, indigoasis said:

I think that depends on what kinds of powers you have in mind for other characters to have, which you already seem to have some ideas for. And she doesn't need to be "more super" than the rest, but instead you can give her something to set her apart from her peers enough to make them fear her, a power that she can build up as her character progresses, going from relatively harmless at first to outright terrifying.

To give some insight, you'll often see in comics that there are multiple heroes with the same or similar powers that exist in the same world(s). I'll list off some in the spoiler tag:

  Reveal hidden contents

Marvel and DC like to have multiple characters act under the same monikers a lot, so here are some I can think of.

• Spider-Man: This is an easy one. Peter Parker and Miles Morales are the big two you'll see the most often, but there's also Silk (Cindy Moon), who was bitten by the same spider as Peter.
• Ghost Rider: You've got Johnny Blaze and Robbie Reyes and whatnot, but there have been a plethora of Spirits of Vengeance that have taken on the mantle prior to Johnny Blaze (like his ancestors, for instance).
• Green Lantern: There's literally an entire Corps of them.
• Flash: I don't keep up with DC, but there's Barry Allen and Wally West.

Basically, characters with the same powers can exist at the same time, but I'd suggest giving your main character a power that only they have.

For example (and I'm taking inspiration from the magic weapon triangle from older FE titles), you could give everyone else powers related to elemental manipulation, but the main character could have powers related to light and dark that trumps the elemental powers, which would set her apart from her peers enough to ostracize her.

I'm not saying you should do this since it's just an example, but I think you can pick out the basic idea here.

Here's another thought; you mentioned her eye color changing based on her emotions, but you could go deeper than that. What if her powers manifested differently based on her mood?

See what you can come up with!

Man... I don't even know how to thank you... Right now, my head is having a huge creative storm, and I can already say that my story is much, much better now.
My mind is made up! Now, instead of "Superpowers" the world will have a kind of "Magic" separated in three sections: Emitters = Manipulation of fire, lightning and ice (as you would be shooting). Transformation = Which give you animal characteristics or powers of the same, like a werewolf, or Tsuyu from MHA. (Like, they are powers with a heavy connection to mother nature, and because of that, they allow you to transform or have animal characteristics). And lastly: Support: Healing powers or defensive powers like barriers ou similars (Kinda like an RPG). 
But physical powers like: Super Strength, Durability and Enhanced Speed are things that DO NOT EXIST (even Flash's super speed wouldn't exist, nor would muscular augmentation like master Roshi's buff form from Dragon Ball Super), because they don't fall into any of the categories mentioned above! Making the protagonist an "Outcast"!

Once again, thanks a lot Indigoasis!

Edited June 1, 2022 by --ACE--

[indigoasis]

3 hours ago, --ACE-- said:

Once again, thanks a lot Indigoasis!

Hey, glad I could help! I appreciate the positivity!

[AnonymousSpeed]

On 5/31/2022 at 9:55 AM, --ACE-- said:

With no powers at all, she could lift cars at the age of seven, have highly resistant durability and enhanced speed, not to mention the side effects she gained over time, such as inhibiting certain feelings, changing the color of her eyes whenever she felt a different feeling, and not being able to feel heat or cold.

In what sense does this not constitute a superpower? If it's going to be categorically different than the abilities other people have, then you're going to have to explain that difference and why people would care about or notice it.

Edited June 3, 2022 by AnonymousSpeed