Any experienced translators able to help with something quick?

[FionordeQuester]

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There are some passages of dialogue from a game called "Breath of Fire II" that I attempted to translate & localize for the very last episode of my LP.  But, I'm not experienced at that—I wouldn't trust only myself to give quality work on that.  So I'm looking for someone experienced enough to tell what I got right and wrong for the passages listed here (though the last two just have placeholder text from another fan translation): 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fo9pGOvAD8MPSrC2yvQ_bnF86vieAJBArpLpj-UFxqc/edit

Here is the video for context—the lines in question start at 2:09.  Just be aware that all the NPC names (except "God") will have garbage data, instead of their proper names—that's because of the method I used to skip to the end of the game.  But, all the passages are listed in the same order as they show up in the video.

Thank you so much for your time, and God bless you! 

 

 

Edited December 13, 2022 by FionordeQuester

[FionordeQuester]

Well, I just finished touching up all my rough translations of these.  Once again, do weigh in if you see something worth commenting on.