berwick saga Berwick Saga Minimum Ranks!

[Saint Rubenio]

As it turns out, chapter 13 was oddly mundane

Sweet, sweet promoted Aegina. Her damage will be nothing short of gargantuan now. I mean, sure, there's three maps left, but hey!

Erzheimer gets his final item: Last chapter's wormwood. Had to give Halfmann all my imperial knight s.shields for it. Again.

As a parting gift, I give him the steel ballista. Mostly so I can have money for another iron ballista, in case the one Burroughs has breaks. In retrospect, it really wasn't worth getting. It only has 3 more might than the iron ballista, its hit is lower and the rank requirement is prohibitally high.

I then did a large amount of grocery shopping, to ensure we are prepped for the finale. Among the goodies I obtained is this.

Went and gave it to Alvina. She's actually equal to or better than base Clifford in every stat now. Hot damn. If only her hitrates weren't so... middling. Seriously, why are her skill levels so mediocre? I've never understood it.

That done, I sell every single material I possess. They will be of no use to us.

The reason I did this is that at the last minute, after the shopping was done and the save file was overwritten, I discovered a Liga courser at the stable. Lucky break! I can purchase it and compensate for the free one I can't get due to my inability to do favors for the citizenry.

And it's map time! Usually it's not that difficult, until you get to the turn 13 funny, at which point it turns into a hectic mess. We'll see how it goes this time. Knowing this run's track record, I would expect not well, but... At least I don't have to rush the upper cliff. The singular (avoidable) tactic point today involves murdering Conan. Obviously I don't want that, so we'll be staying at sea level, thank you very much.

You konw what's great? This imbecile talks with a second imbecile about taking the colts for themselves "when there is a break in the battle."

Then they proceed to charge at you, forcing you to kill them because otherwise they'll take the fort. I tried stalling to let them scurry off to the horses, but instead they just murdered Aegina a couple times.

In one attempt, the swift spear broke on green, Larentia died and her fort was taken. This has nothing to do with the other thing, but I figured it was worth pointing out. That's where I decided to stop pussyfooting and get real already.

So yeah, we're letting 'em have it. Gotta get a head start on the killing so I don't get overwhelmed. Not with squishy mages about. Next turn I'll try to defeat them all as quickly as possible.

Gwahahahahahaaaa... And with these numbers, it shouldn't be so hard! Ohh, that damage! Hot DAMN, and the accuracy too. She still loses to that generic jobber Morai in the cutscene, because the game has to let Sherpa have his big man moment.

All in all, I was able to massacre all but two enemies in one turn. It could've been a bit of a tough spot, they could've ganged up on one of my mages and killed them, but the axeman inexplicably chose to attack Clifford. I mean, sure, why not. Maybe the game realizes this is the last opportunity it has to kill Deadbeat Dad and is desperate to seize the opportunity?

Speaking of last times, Axel is accompanying us one final time. There are multiple money sources here, I'll want them to do some last minute purchases after the map.

So that's the eastern front defense plan. For the southwestern front, it is a little more complex - Larentia is flying above the fort. This means foot soldiers cannot enter it, possibly out of a crippling fear of wyvern poop. All I must do is kill anyone who can attack at range, and Larentia will act as an immovable obstacle keeping enemies out. At least until Richthofen and his Pesilian squad arrive.

As for the north, it's very simple: Esteban uses Pursuit to murder everything. Alvina sits on the fort and tanks everything with her 22 defense. Sherlock helps.

Lo, Perceval's promotion! Last possible minute, but hey. He got there.

Objective complete. Now I just... gotta get Izerna out of that axe knight's range. He carries a barbaric axe. Even Ward can't handle that so well.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Actually, you know the best part?

That's salvageable.

Yeah.

Step one: Take out this guy who is on the way.

Step two: Tank a hit while crippled. On turn 4, I panicked and had Izerna physic Alvina. At first I thought it was a dumb move, but then it turned out to be the key to saving the situation, as now Alvina can resist the first enemy move.

Step three: Ford the river and rehabilitate.

I am positively amazed at how well that catastrophe turned out. No RNG involved, either. I had to return to this save a few times and the spearman never tried to capture Alvina. Instead he consistently attempted to skewer her. Even Izerna wasn't an issue, since she has enough uses of holy to weather the storm.

With that bit of frenetic drama over, I work on finishing of the northern enemies while Axel picks up some zerika steel. This annoys me, because I'd forgotten this existed and it was all I needed to craft the Colichemarde. You know, before I sold all my materials. Oh well.

And... actually, that's it. I've wiped out the entire enemy force.

Wow. Hah! I'm kinda impressed by myself. Things don't go so well often, especially in this run.

Aww... That was short lived.

Well, that's my plan for that fort down the drain. No way Larentia can protect the fort from that.

Axel got in a scuffle with the final house enemy. Axel's personal little final boss! And to cap off his robbing career on a high note, he stole the guy's firebrand. Extra money, not too shabby!

A few turns go by of just unremarkable defense. Ignore the slept Clifford, that was a different save. Anyway, you know what's funny about this ballista? I cannot kill it. if I kill it, I fulfill a citizen request. The last in the game, in fact. Chapter 14's going to be rather uneventful, being pretty much identical to the average chapter 14, though I expect chapter 15 will have intense enough action. If only from having to confront Chaos while Vajraless.

We'll worry about that some other time, however. For now, it's time to confront this. As usual, I have no real plan.

AHAHAHAHAHA I LIED, Richthofen has fallen right into my trap. I totally had a plan to kill him.

Not that killing Richthofen is all that impressive, all things considered. Nazgul's head would be the far superior trophy. That one I've never been able to kill. He charges later than his pals, runs off too quickly on turn 15 and is impossibly tanky.

...Oh. Oh dear.

Welp.

That's a dead Larentia.

...It's not all lost, however. The black riders cannot reach anyone, and they couldn't capture the fort anyway. The only oens who can capture the fort are those two enemies below Larentia. As long as they move before the wyvern riders, we'll have won.

And then they did, so uh... yeah. We won.

I can't believe how... easy that was. On the easier end of this run's maps, even. I only had to redo the 10-15 stretch once. First time Perceval got slept instead, careless of me.

You know what? Fair enough. If she didn't die here, she would've died next map. I'd rather let her die a worthy dead accomplishing something real. It's a better death than most people have suffered in the run.

Ooohhh, what a shame! I could'ved killed Nazgul with Aegina, but she's one hex too far. Awww, that's too bad... There's technically a chance for reese to pull it off, though. He just has to proc Adept, and get two crits, and get at least 18 bonus damage on both crits. Yeaaah I'm not doing that, Nazgul gets to live. One day I'll kill him... One day.

In the meantime, let's capture this randomly injured wyvern rider.

Oh, this is interesting. I seem to be unable to capture him. Probably because he's a flier? And yet I'm pretty sure enemies can capture Larentia... Could be that he's from Pesil? That doesn't make much sense. Oh well.

Sure, I'll just commit a war crime instead. How many have we committed by now, anyway? What's one more?

What a positively underwhelming map this turned out to be. I fully expected pain and misery without end. Instead I witnessed crippled Alvina successfully protecting a fort. Sure, why not. At this point I expect anything from this run.

On 3/15/2023 at 7:48 PM, Punished Dayni said:

I'd have said Volcens's, but his hate for Reese might be enough to overturn being concerned about a lord being killed by an underling.

Ehhh he'd probably do it anyway, just out of fear Ward would go after him next.

On 3/15/2023 at 7:48 PM, Punished Dayni said:

Well that was certainly not a reminder of my start in Engage's finale....

(Least you didn't have to go back more than once here....)

Oof...

On 3/15/2023 at 7:48 PM, Punished Dayni said:

Then again.....

I certainly didn't have that kind of experience.

FoW really can be the worst.

Even Berwick's good FoW. Everything comes together in this map, hiding enemies, fog, assassins, wormwood, status orbs... All it's missing is a few jerks with overwatch.

On 3/15/2023 at 7:48 PM, Punished Dayni said:

A side benefit I suppose.

Will he be available for 13?

Yeah, but whether he's deployed is another story.

On 3/15/2023 at 7:48 PM, Punished Dayni said:

It's Aegina time.

Should I make an edit for this one?

Please.

On 3/15/2023 at 7:48 PM, Punished Dayni said:

Saphira must have been telling them you weren't recruiting her.

Saphira probably begged him not to let the sociopath take her. In the context of this run, she hasn't even met him at all. All she knows is that she heard good things about him at the start, then they never spoke a word, he went into a dark forest with her devoted bodyguard and came back dragging her corpse.

[Punished Dayni]

14 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ehhh he'd probably do it anyway, just out of fear Ward would go after him next.

Would his arbitrary laziness then be enough to overcome it?

15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Please.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Actually, you know the best part?

That's salvageable.

That's neat how quickly you came to that conclusion.

Me, I'd have probably surrendered.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lo, Perceval's promotion! Last possible minute, but hey. He got there.

He actually did it?

HE DIDN'T MISS

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

We'll worry about that some other time, however. For now, it's time to confront this. As usual, I have no real plan.

AHAHAHAHAHA I LIED, Richthofen has fallen right into my trap. I totally had a plan to kill him.

That's a plan alright.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sure, I'll just commit a war crime instead. How many have we committed by now, anyway? What's one more?

What a positively underwhelming map this turned out to be. I fully expected pain and misery without end. Instead I witnessed crippled Alvina successfully protecting a fort. Sure, why not. At this point I expect anything from this run.

This game won't let you capture wyverns in case you get the wrong idea and start using them on your own units.

It's a surprise this went well. Let's hope we don't get a certain moment from the LP next time.

[Saint Rubenio]

Chapter 14

There's Percy promoted. He dons a cool white jacket and gains unremarkable stats. Honestly, you know how I said Aegina has one of the less impactful promotions in the game? In relation to how horribly difficult it is to get her there, it's true, but in a vacuum, I'd say Perceval takes the cake. Two magic does improve Aegina's damage output greatly. For Perceval, at best, it's going to let him one-round one or two more enemies with dire thunder that he couldn't before. It does next to nothing lol

Also Aegina jobs against a guy because she's an emotional woman or something. Thanks, Kaga.

Before departing, we pay a visit to Larentia's grave. Her brave sacrifice will ensure the safety of our happiness rank. Sherpa'll have to go soon enough, as well.

Ahahahah... Oh, man. This is going to be an interesting endgame...

Well, chapter 14 shouldn't be that different. I got Burroughs to spawncamp Gordova, I got a few people who can quickly climb cliffs, I got Elbert to distract a ballista or two.

...There is one problem, but it didn't become readily apparent until later. See if you can guess.

This is not the problem, but it's the perfect showcase of what I said before regarding Percy's promotion. Look at that. That +2 magic's doing fuck all.

Well. Look at him go and prove me wrong. In a really abstract way, he missed. Even though there was no conceivable scenario in which he missed here, he still managed to miss something: His apparent inability to finish this enemy off.

Oh but not to worry, there's still plenty of time for some traditional Missival action. Don't miss it!

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, I make a grave mistake and don't move Elbert far enough to provoke the ballista.

This forces Ward to sustain grievous injuries protecting his liege for two turns straight. He's gonna feel those well into his retirement. The aches might make it inconvenient to go visit the graves of his wife and daughter.

Much better, see.

Nothing much to say about this side. They're kicking everybody's asses like it's nothing.

We could've killed that ballista on turn 3, but there was a guy I wanted dead more urgently, because he could've speared Aegina. Estie can do it next turn, though.

...Seriously, Esteban is so good if you invest in him, it's wild. Yeah, suboptimal, to be sure, but this is way too much fun.

There goes the artillery. Sherpa then protects Estie, because the crossbowman there wounded him last turn.

You know what's going to be really funny? If it turns out Esteban cannot be obtained in minimum ranks because Serenes lied and his recruitment request does count towards ranks. I've relied on him quite a lot, you can't say he had no effect on the run. It'll be challenge failed at that point. Well, I suppose it's not long until we find out, huh. If worse comes to worst, I can always blame Missival.

On the western front, Reese leads the charge.

Oh God. Arrowbane!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WARD!!

Burroughs has made it to The Spot. To celebrate, he scores an exact kill on this priest. You think the designers placed this guy here to drive a player to naturally bring Burroughs here? That'd be a pretty impressive bit of subtle detail.

Oho? This is interesting. I've never seen this happen before. One of Vester's troops broke away from the main battle and aimed his sights at the ballista!

And there definitely is still a main fight going on... Though not for long. The Razites are completely screwed. I expect the entire area outside the fort will be clean by the end of next turn.

Ooowww! Oh, that hurts. Guy wandered where he should never have... He can still finish the job though, right?

...Aw. I was kind of invested in that man's bold initiative. Wish he had succeeded.

Reese, finish what the guy started. Let not his sacrifice be in vain, or something.

...Actually, you know what?

What the heck. Let's try to save him.

Esteban heals 10 HP with the blood knife. Shame he missed the second time.

Now that he's stationed at The Spot, Burroughs begins to cry. And this time, there will be no mistakes.

With this spearman's demise, the outside of the fort has been thoroughly conquered. Only the inside remains now.

To get there, Alvina begins wailing on the gate.

Oh hey, how kind of these two. I don't believe I've ever seen the green cleric sprite before. Heck, I don't believe there are any others in the entire game aside from Leticia!

I mean, sure, this is a complete waste of a rehabilitate use, but I still have like, 10 and there's 1.5 maps left in the game. Who cares?

Predictably, the guy's first instinct is to turn right back and get hit again by the same ballista that crippled him.

And despite my best efforts...

His fate is inevitable.

What a trooper though, he went down fighting like a boss, giving no flying fucks about the ballista. Brings a tear to my eye, it does. Godspeed, soldier.

Oh, incidentally, the enemy crossbowman who got crippled by Perceval in turn 1 has escaped. Before dying, the priest Burroughs sniped spent a few of his darkmend uses healing him to full. Then the guy made a dash through the town and to the road. Not that I would've captured him, honestly. With the need for money behind us and nobody that can use crossbows available, capturing him would've only been a waste of a turn.

This is the situation on turn 10. The fucking allies are taking up all the space. Ward cannot escape the tile in range of the ballista, and he dies if he doesn't heal.

So, I am forced to heal him just so he can eat another hit. Thanks for nothing, guys. If only you'd all gone after the ballista like your cool late friend.

Anyway, on turn 11, Burroughs cannot cry anymore. It is time.

...Or, well, it WOULD be time. I even had a strategy all figured out from our current positions to assasinate Piers, seize and then quickly spawncamp Gordova. However... remember how at the beginning I mentioned a problem?

Yeah, I forgot in this run we couldn't get the better bolts. They are given to Burroughs by Klamp in the Scorpio map. And that little bit of extra damage is required to deal enough damage at max crying to spawncamp Gordova.

Ironically enough, I need exactly 3 more damage. With the steel ballista Halfmann currently has an exclusive room for, I would've had it... but then, I might've needed a few resets, since there'd be a chance of failure to account for.

Either way, uh... yeah.

Oof.

Clearly this will require more finesse, then. First, Esteban opens the gate. I really would rather have someone weaker do it, but again, the allies are giving us zero room to maneuver.

Next, we invade the fort and block the entrance.

Sherpa dies protecting Aegina. How romantic. Or something.

This still happens in the good run.

Now for the tricky part. First, Sherlock weakens this guy. It wouldn't have been absolutely necessary, but the crit is still welcome.

Then, Reese seizes.

Awesome! Best spawn for these two, in these circumstances. I really don't want Lynette blocking him.

With a positively explosive combination of Rossweisse and mithril arrows, Esteban deals a whopping 66 damage to the gate. Ward wraps it up.

Then Missival spends his 1-use original dire thunder (bye, orb! Will miss ya!) to kill this guy, opening up the way to Gordova.

This is where it gets messy. I need Alvina to land this blow. And then not die, obviously. She manages this and I win. We only have one shot at this. Or else I have to redo two turns, ooooh boy, the tension!

WOO! Ahahahaha, that goes well beyond what I needed, but I'm not about to complain. Way to go, Alvina!

The rest is easy. Burroughs brings it home. You know what would've been really funny? His ballista was at yellow durability. Man, wouldn't it have been funny if it had broken after the first shot? Very risible. Holy crud, thank goodness it didn't happen... Though, honestly, Alvina might've just salvaged the situation anyway. She's been showing off in this run. She successfully defended a fort while crippled!

...How, just HOW was this chapter more troublesome than 13? I mean, not by much, but that turn 10 stretch was tricky, and the miscalculation with Burroughs was unpleasant.

8 hours ago, Punished Dayni said:

Would his arbitrary laziness then be enough to overcome it?

Hmm... I don't know. Let's give him 24 turns to decide.

8 hours ago, Punished Dayni said:

A good time indeed.

Hey who's that though? She looks familiar but I'm drawing a blank right now... Even though I really feel like I should know her. Surely she didn't compose Roundabout?

8 hours ago, Punished Dayni said:

That's neat how quickly you came to that conclusion.

Me, I'd have probably surrendered.

I was not about to go down without a fight. I didn't want to redo five turns for the billionth time in the run.

8 hours ago, Punished Dayni said:

He actually did it?

HE DIDN'T MISS

HE MISSED MISSING

8 hours ago, Punished Dayni said:

This game won't let you capture wyverns in case you get the wrong idea and start using them on your own units.

Imagine that. Endgame Ready Flying Beard. Holy shit... I mean, it doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well, but...

8 hours ago, Punished Dayni said:

It's a surprise this went well.

When it comes to me LPing games, I feel like you could put this line up on a plaque.

[Punished Dayni]

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey who's that though? She looks familiar but I'm drawing a blank right now... Even though I really feel like I should know her. Surely she didn't compose Roundabout?

Actually, the person in the orb's an illusionist with the title The Sacred Riana. The coincidence was pretty funny.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Also Aegina jobs against a guy because she's an emotional woman or something. Thanks, Kaga.

Once again, Aegina gets jobbed for the plot.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well. Look at him go and prove me wrong. In a really abstract way, he missed. Even though there was no conceivable scenario in which he missed here, he still managed to miss something: His apparent inability to finish this enemy off.

He missed at killing and not inflicting harm.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

There goes the artillery. Sherpa then protects Estie, because the crossbowman there wounded him last turn.

You know what's going to be really funny? If it turns out Esteban cannot be obtained in minimum ranks because Serenes lied and his recruitment request does count towards ranks. I've relied on him quite a lot, you can't say he had no effect on the run. It'll be challenge failed at that point. Well, I suppose it's not long until we find out, huh. If worse comes to worst, I can always blame Missival.

It's cool what damage he can pull off.

Regardless, I don't think minimum ranks has been explored has it? So at the minimum it's a step towards minimising as best as possible.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, incidentally, the enemy crossbowman who got crippled by Perceval in turn 1 has escaped. Before dying, the priest Burroughs sniped spent a few of his darkmend uses healing him to full. Then the guy made a dash through the town and to the road. Not that I would've captured him, honestly. With the need for money behind us and nobody that can use crossbows available, capturing him would've only been a waste of a turn.

Not even worth the Exp?

Sure, this is Berwick, but still.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, I forgot in this run we couldn't get the better bolts. They are given to Burroughs by Klamp in the Scorpio map. And that little bit of extra damage is required to deal enough damage at max crying to spawncamp Gordova.

Ironically enough, I need exactly 3 more damage. With the steel ballista Halfmann currently has an exclusive room for, I would've had it... but then, I might've needed a few resets, since there'd be a chance of failure to account for.

Either way, uh... yeah.

Ah. Well that's unfortunate.

I kinda expected the steel ballista would be useful, and look what happened.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This is where it gets messy. I need Alvina to land this blow. And then not die, obviously. She manages this and I win. We only have one shot at this. Or else I have to redo two turns, ooooh boy, the tension!

WOO! Ahahahaha, that goes well beyond what I needed, but I'm not about to complain. Way to go, Alvina!

The rest is easy. Burroughs brings it home. You know what would've been really funny? His ballista was at yellow durability. Man, wouldn't it have been funny if it had broken after the first shot? Very risible. Holy crud, thank goodness it didn't happen... Though, honestly, Alvina might've just salvaged the situation anyway. She's been showing off in this run. She successfully defended a fort while crippled!

Fatva didn't even fuck it up this time!

Alvina once again proving clutch in lategame. If you felt like you could rank then, where do you think she sits compared to Paramythis nowadays?

[Saint Rubenio]

The really crappy finale of this complete garbage of a run

Here we are. The final battle. To which I am bringing a barely used Leon, because I have no more options. I kinda dread Chaos, but I've done him without Vajra before. It's not impossible. Reese can handle him... okay, if need be. Another thing that's going to be really fun is that I have absolutely no way to handle status effects. Padolf's singular sedative will be my only means of protection against Jacharam's berserk orb. Awesome!

In brighter news, final unit Lynette time! She's a pretty unique Gotoh. She raises defenses, attacks at 3 range with her special bow and nukes things less effectively than Enid with her Pallas Serenia. But we don't have Enid, so I'll take what I can get.

For today's first move, I kill this guy. The reason, this asshole has a sleep orb. I can only cure sleep by taking hits to the face. I could've bought an awaken orb back in chapter 13, but I forgot because I am bad at everything. So let's do all we can to avoid naps, shall we? The crit was handy, but it doesn't make that much of a difference. Without it I still would've had just enough time to finish him off with Aegina before he moved.

Second move, kill wormwood dick 1 of 2. Killing the sleep dick on move 1 does let us avoid having to eat a wormwood from this guy, but really, small detail.

...Yeah, I ended up committing the exact movement patterns of these two to memory lol

On this side, Esteban frontlines with the shieldknife with Sherlock and Perceval offering support. Not that he needed much of that, it seems.

Hah! Good one, Sherlock. Guess even going into the finale, the good luck with injury/crippling RNG will continue. Eh, I don't mind. Crippled or dead, serves our purpose either way.

Oh hey. I didn't remember this guy moved.

Or that dude! Their mistake, to be honest. The best defense in the continent means nothing against Nothung. Its divine lightning pierces even the strongest suits of armor.

Okay, so let's cripple this guy real quick and let him be on his way. I have very little use for a scimitar+ at this point.

Kishar's Wrath in this game has always mystified me. So here's a dark orb that only exists once in entire game, on this one dude here, seemingly for the sole purpose of letting him cover the entire hallway, but without inflicting poison like swarm would. Why... why not just give him swarm lol

Anyway, Alvina gets slammed against the ground for solid damage, but it is irrelevant.

We then gang up on the armored squad and decimate them. Phase 1 is done. More to go.

Such as this guy here. He holds the only key I can get, and also the only one I need. For starters, let's get rid of his crying boosts.

I had a funny idea.

Gahahahaha! Fallen right into a trap, which belongs to me, located in America!

No problem, this was calculated. He didn't even hit her, anyway.

...Okay, maybe that one wasn't as calculated... Jikes, that was scary. Had the second archer moved...

Alvina takes out the door key guy.

Good lord in heaven. What is it with Alvina in this run? I've never seen her pop off like this. Which is fine by me, I love her.

On turn five, we are ready to begin working on the lancing squad. To that end, Ward takes point.

lol another random crippling. I have even less use for an axe and an almost broken shield than I do a scimitar+, so might as well let him run too. Go play tag with the dark master, friend!

All right, here we go! I fucked up!

For some inexplicable reason, the second lancer decided against taking advantage of my blunder and wiping Ward off the planet. Instead, he took a potshot at Alvina. Missed, too. What would possess you to try that, man?

So anyway, Aegina takes out both.

To the south, the reinforcements have begun to trickle in. Good man, helping your retreating soldiers escape! Very kind of you, Mr. Generic Garbage Bagman.

Oh, they're just coming now. That's literally the worst thing they could possibly do, they're putting themselves right up in my face to be easily killed... Far be it from me to judge their strategic acumen, though. I did take on this challenge specifically to prove I am bad at this, after all.

Alvina murders one of them with Lynette's help.

The turn after, the lancers weakly try to stab her and Ward without momentum. They then cower behind a crossbowman, which I promptly utilize to my advantage. Body block!

Aw, dammit. My intention was to have Leon sub-in for Alvina, so he can have a use, but now he's sleeping. Stupid horseman had sleep arrows and refused to hound Alvina and Ward, because unlike the lancers, he's smart. This game's AI is so fickle...

The enemy kindly wakes him up with a spear to the face.

I wait a few turns for the four enemies to waste their turn, and quickly swap bodyblockers.

Two turns later, he shoots all of his arrows at Leon. This corridor is effectively cleared.

Also, Elbert provokes the wormwood guy. It's only a matter of time before he targets Burroughs and wastes all of the time he spent crying.

He runs out of wormwoods not long after.

Esteban is keeping the soldiers occupied by tanking with the shieldknife (with occasional blood knife heals), so I'd say we're in a pretty good place to start the fun part.

First, Chaos's trio of dark master underlings come at us.

Reese rolfstomps them into next sunday with Gram. The sole survivor is swifly executed by Lynette. A single turn, and already Chaos is alone.

...He's... not coming.

Heck, the first round of assassin'n'priest reinforcements has arrived and ran past him, and he STILL won't move!

Fine by me. We can take them out and then lure him closer once he's isolated.

Here we go... It's all or nothing now.

And clearly Reese is giving it all! Wahaha, great start.

Son of a fucking-- Okay, that's a problem.

Luckily, I found a solution fast enough: If I hurt this guy, the garbage bags that slither in the dark prioritize healing him. Not entirely sure why, but they do.

With that, I proceed to throw everything at Chaos. Lynette opens up the barrage with a lucky crit.

Everything!

EVERYTHING! ONE MORE ROUND!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He even procced adept... He just missed three times...

...Asscheeks, piffle and balderdash, damn all blistering barnacles, I fucking HATE you Reese. I fucking hate you.

It's turn 20 and we're pretty much exactly where we were before. Minus the powered up Burroughs and a big chunk of Gram's remaining durability, of course.

This stretch took... a good number of attempts. I even found out how the healing AI works, roughly. What I said before? Nonsense. Since there's two healers, one of them would heal the spearman, and then the other would go for Chaos since at that point he'd be the more hurt guy.

Enemies do seem to like targetting injured comrades. Probably to save them from crippling or something. I don't really care how it works, what matters is that this will keep their attention off of Chaos.

Especially when ARRRRGHHHH his health is low on top of that. Dude! Don't kill him, you've not spent how many turns now eating doru to the face only to kill him when he has like, three thrusts left before it breaks!

Anyway, with the injured guy distracting the healers, now is the time to throw everything everything EVERYTHING at Chaos. Again.

That's not too bad.

SON OF A FUCKING BITCH, so scratch what I said, these assholes have no AI. They just do whatever they feel like.

At least I am able to get a few good hits in before Gram breaks again.

Alvina saves the day with a crit. Thank God for Alvina. What would this run have been without Alvina.

C'mon, oh C'MON, FUCKING C'MOOOOOON WE'RE SO CLOSE

Esteban could easily finish this, but... well, see, if I move Esteban from his spot, I'm guaranteed to forget to have someone replace him. And then next turn a billion soldiers spawn, the corridor is flooded and I lose. I know from experience, yes. Chaos had already died twice by this point. Ended up reloading both times due to that shit.

So uh... Who else can try? I'm willing to do that as a last resort, but if someone else could just deal 2 points of damage...

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FOCUS CHARM TO THE RESCUE

Speed. Of course. I mean, does it matter at this point? No, I'm just angry to see her keep working on her goddamned SPEED of all things.

Aw, you little... ohhh, I don't want to deal with this right now...

Luckily, I have these smelling salts lying around from... who knows when, I honestly have no idea. Who cares. Have 'em, Alvina.

And... Frankly, you know what, I'm sick of the shadowy garbage bags. Let's just commence the final part of the map already.

Volcyboy gets Jacharamed. That's always fun to watch.

Padolf is a highly impactful character. I need to break his kneecaps in order to obtain his vital bag of exceedingly important items - Including, but not limited to, the second repairstone we can get in the entire game, a single sedative for Jacharam's berserk and a lot of garbage nobody cares about, but I REALLY need that repairstone. Padolf does more than 2/3rds of the game's cast in Minimum Ranks.

Oh, and of course there's more wormwood shitheads in the throne room. I really do have to wonder where Jacharam pulls that army from. There's an army lined up in the throne room cutscenes, but then they just appear on the map instead of all the funny priests from the shadows.

Also HE'S POISONED, HE'S FUCKING POISONED, NO, NO

ASSHOLE

ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

......

Fuck it. We can still win this. I am NOT doing Chaos again.

First and foremost, sit units on the stairs. I've never been able to figure out when the reinforcements stop coming or why, I just know I park some units there, then eventually I move them and nobody is coming out anymore.

I am only showing this because Padolf's battle quote gives me life.

And to top it all off, Esteban breaks the shieldblade on that guy. Excellent.

Well, more or less literally everything that could've gone wrong has, but we have saved and this is very winnable. I think. I hope.

Ah, how nice. That doru finally broke. This is very important, because it means I can send Esteban away to reinforce the main unit, while Elbert stays behind to pin the conga line of spearmen down.

Pfft... What? Seriously? When did I even damage that guy? I cannot remember...

Okay, here we go. God knows we need pursuit's extra firepower... Gonna be SERIOUSLY funny if it turns out I couldn't have had Esteban all this time, I swear...

...I... I have no idea what Padolf's doing anymore.

Well, no matter. He just put himself closer to Perceval's crippling orb.

Ahh, consarnit, doggone everything! I wasted a few turns moving Burroughs here so he could plug up one of the staircases and only now I'm realizing he can't even enter those tiles. For some undiscernible reason.

In any case, we pick up Padolf. I don't care how corrupt you are, I desperately need your goods.

Eyyyy Roswick's sprite! You don't see it every day. It actually fits the general map sprite, and Roswick's portrait too. Not that common in Berwick, I mean, have you seen Ward's blue cape that's green in his official artwork? Leon's mysterious green shirt?

Afterwards, I spend a bunch of turns firing missiles at the executioner, until he dies. I want no time limits and no hassle of any kind. It's going to be enough of a pain handling the end with our army in tatters.

To that end, I also wait out the two wormwood orbs.

I also utilize Padolf's repairstone to get the shining shield back to perfect condition, and the Gram to green. Gram's nice as always, but the shining shield might be my only hope of getting to Jacharam without instantly losing to the wrong berserking.

Well... this is it. This tiny group has survived the worst this game had to offer, and today they stand at the ready to begin the final charge.

...After Burroughs takes out an archer. Cheesy, I know, but come now, at this point, can you blame me? I'd take everyone out with Burroughs over the course of 50 turns if it wasn't for the fact that he can't even damage like half of the enemies there. And that I'd grow bored on turn 4.

Impeccable start.

D-- D'ohhh I misclicked. I hit... wait, "investigate"?

I have never seen this before in my life.

I knew you could open the cell door after killing Jacharam and enter it to get a hidden scene where Sienna... basically just says "Reese the fuck you doing here, go seize the throne", but I never knew you could check the cell before that!

Lord Reese! Yes, we're all fine for now...

Curse this lock... I can't break it open...

Lord Reese, there is just one key to this cell, and it is in Herman's hands. Go quickly! We shall protect Princess Sienna from any harm.

That's a typo. @Aethin

So anyway, let's get started in earnest. First, I fail to kill this guy quickly enough and he charges at Izerna, who misses, but survives due to the miracle charm. I run out of patience at this point and reload.

After not misclicking and successfully killing the dark master, I choose to get rid of the second overwarcher before continuing.

I proceed to make a mistake and leave Percy in range of death. Just as well, it only means I get to kill that one now instead of next turn.

...Let's remove the remaining issues before we go. I want as little crap on the way to Jacharam as possible. Once we start heading for his head, we must be fast, I don't want to have to rely on the shining shield's RNG if I can avoid it at all.

For the remaining gigas knights, Burroughs fires a couple bolts and removes their crying boosts.

Then Ward takes point once more! He draws both in with ease.

We kill one and the other runs to heal. So I just repeat the same process.

Now... Let's see if we can rush this and kill Jacharam before he can mess with our heads. To begin, I clear the hexes in front of him with Burroughs.

Then, funny.

...Welp.

That was... beyond underwhelming, but it's all over.

You have got to be kidding me.

You have GOT to be FUCKING kidding me.

BERWICK

Okay, so Jacharam is at 2 HP and the enemy decided to take a potshot at Reese instead of healing him. I mean, Reese would've died, so I can't blame them for that, but he was holding Gram. Tough luck!

This is still a problem, though. A big one. I wonder how we can--

It's Alvina. It's always Alvina! She shakes her fist viciously at Jachie and then stabs him on the pinky for minimal damage, ending his life and his ambitions of power.

(Ward could've done it too by the way. Endgame Ready Beard!)

It is too late to stop her.

All that remains is to cure Reese of his angst and then seize. Minimum Ranks: You are finished!

 

 

 

 

 

The underwhelming epilogue

Well, that scene looks downright pathetic.

Pffft! Don't make me laugh, Ward.

Yes, all ten of you that are left alive.

You fucking suck.

...Nah, just kidding.

Yes, because it's over, right?

Hahahaha! I knew this was coming, but seeing this screen completely deserted of endings was still pretty hilarious.

The only event here is a shortened version of the Perceval/Enid/Izerna ending, with just the Perceval and Izerna part. I did not know the game would throw me a shortened version of it if Enid died. This does not bode well.

We say bye to the mercs who have served us throughout the run. And lived to tell the tale, of course. Forebodingly, Owen is missing. He has a line in the game files where a different priest mentions that he had disappeared some time ago, but it doesn't seem to be present in the actual game. Instead he simply leaves without a word.

Tianna is still reminding Reese of his sister's final letter.

These events still happen at the end, but given we've missed the requirements, I'm sure these guys still won't be happy. I mean, why would Serenes ever specify Alvina has to talk to Vester (WHEN?) if her happiness point was completely unavoidable? It's not like Serenes has ever lied about this game before.

Incidentally, if you're wondering about the final line of the game... I'm going to put it in spoilers. Probably needless, I mean, who could be reading this LP without previous Berwick experience? But still, I wouldn't want to accidentally spoil this for anyone, it's the best line in the game.

Spoiler

Yeah, Derrick still wrote the game, even though he wasn't present for any of it. Hilarious.

All right! The moment we've all been waiting for. The credits roll!

EVERYONE'S MINIMUM RANKS FATES (Make sense to me, at least)

Reese - Witnessed half of his army's deaths as a direct result of his shoddy leadership. Fell into a deep depression and became a drunken, abusive husband to Lynette, until he was murdered via poison. The culprit was never found.
Ward - The sorrow of his daughter's death and the stress of his new position as Sinon's Margrave led him to an early grave.
Leon - Lost his best friend. Honestly, he didn't do so bad, by this run's standards.
Elbert - Lost a dear friend. He could never tell her how he really felt. Died a virgin.
Izerna - ...Oh, you fucking piece of trash... Izerna's happy!? I should've seen that coming, with the shortened ending and all, but still. What a load of bull.
Volo - Nothing changed for him.
Axel - Still can't afford his daughter's treatment. Probably still met with Gibry and murdered him to protect her. Worked himself to the bone to make the money.
Clifford - Remained a hopeless drunk. Drowned after an unfortunate stumble not long after the war.
Esteban - Never saw Sophie again. Still wonders what became of her to this day. Unbeknownst to him, she accidentally killed herself with the Pascanion during tests.
Aegina - Returned to her desolate home with the memory of Sherpa's sacrifice haunting her.
Saphira - Became a recluse after the loss of her bodyguard and dear friend.
Owen - His curse uncured, he vanished. Most likely committed suicide to protect others from himself.
Perceval - Misses Enid too much to be happy.
Burroughs - Klamp never got exiled, so that's a good ending for him, but Bianca probably got him to stop seeing Burroughs eventually. Poor guy.
Alvina - ...Yeah, she's happy too. Serenes lied. Again. Well... Eh, honestly, she's earned it.
Lynette - Months after the end of the war, she finally gathered the courage to ask Reese what became of the circlet she made for him. He answered with a blank stare and a demand for more ale. That night, she met with a hooded figure in a dark alley and purchased a certain item...

Adel, Sherlock, Christine, Dean, Czene, Kramer, Faye, Faramir, Sherpa, Larentia, Marcel, Enid and Paramythis: Deceased.
Sylvis, Ruby, Arthur, Derrick, Daoud, Thaddy: Unknown.

......

1 fame point.

Esteban's recruitment, to be specific.

...PfffffffffffAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Welp! Serenes lied. We fail the challenge.

I am so bad at everything, I can't even be bad right. In fucking credible.

Well, at least the rest of it is right. 10 forced clear tactics points, plus the second unavoidable one in chapter 9 for saving at least three ballisticians. And of course, zero completion.

Honestly? Fuck it, close enough. I got to enjoy Pursuit Esteban, which I'd never done before, and I got to see a good bunch of funny little intricacies of this wonderful game. I'm happy with the experience. It was... fulfilling.

...Fucking can't believe I failed, though. That's got to be a new low. I failed at failing. Good lord...

That's it, everyone. It's over, go home. I'm gonna go cry into my pillow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 3/19/2023 at 12:46 AM, Punished Dayni said:

Actually, the person in the orb's an illusionist with the title The Sacred Riana. The coincidence was pretty funny.

Hah! Okay that's great. Someone should tell her to cosplay as Aegina.

On 3/19/2023 at 12:46 AM, Punished Dayni said:

He missed at killing and not inflicting harm.

Missival is truly talented. A highly questionable talent, but a talent nonetheless!

On 3/19/2023 at 12:46 AM, Punished Dayni said:

It's cool what damage he can pull off.

Regardless, I don't think minimum ranks has been explored has it? So at the minimum it's a step towards minimising as best as possible.

Yes, because somebody other than my dumb butt is totally going to subject themselves to this.

On 3/19/2023 at 12:46 AM, Punished Dayni said:

Not even worth the Exp?

Sure, this is Berwick, but still.

At this point? Nope. Got more of a kick out of watching him slowly walk his way through the map.

On 3/19/2023 at 12:46 AM, Punished Dayni said:

Ah. Well that's unfortunate.

I kinda expected the steel ballista would be useful, and look what happened.

It could have been, but I gave it to Halfmann. And well, like I said, it could've still screwed everything up due to the failure chance.

On 3/19/2023 at 12:46 AM, Punished Dayni said:

Fatva didn't even fuck it up this time!

Alvina once again proving clutch in lategame. If you felt like you could rank then, where do you think she sits compared to Paramythis nowadays?

Alvina's steadily grown in my eyes with each run of Berwick I've done. Initially I didn't even give her a second glance, but her surprisingly respectful writing and deceptively enjoyable unit performance have become more apparent as I've become more experienced.

...Probably still loses to Paramythis, but not by as much lol

[BrightBow]

Great. We are on a new page. My browser had been crapping itself trying to load all the pictures for a while now.

On 3/17/2023 at 11:35 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, this is interesting. I seem to be unable to capture him. Probably because he's a flier? And yet I'm pretty sure enemies can capture Larentia... Could be that he's from Pesil? That doesn't make much sense. Oh well.

Maybe Larentia could still capture him. Since she is the only character who can initiate 0 range attacks against fliers.

But maybe not. I suppose I could imagine that regular wyvern knights simply have no dismounted data and the game would be unable to place them into the dungeon.

You know, there is an unused throwing spear in the game that will automatically capture anyone it hits, as long as they don't have Robust. Maybe that one could do it.
 

On 3/18/2023 at 8:41 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oho? This is interesting. I've never seen this happen before. One of Vester's troops broke away from the main battle and aimed his sights at the ballista!

Yeah, they do that sometimes.

I wonder if they could potentially ruin once' day by going all the way around and triggering the bridge guard. Would be difficult to test it out in normal gameplay, but guess what? The game has a fully functional Warp orb too.
 

On 3/18/2023 at 8:41 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh hey, how kind of these two. I don't believe I've ever seen the green cleric sprite before. Heck, I don't believe there are any others in the entire game aside from Leticia!

There is Meia. The cleric who accompanies Catherine in chapter 6. Although unlike Leticia, Meia uses the hoodless sprite.

Also those battle sprites are used for female villagers. At least the ones that are not palette swaps of Saphira. Though maybe those are the hoodless ones too. Don't remember.