screenshot TheMoniker plays all of Markyjoe's crap(ALIVE ONCE MORE)

MarkyJoe1990 · February 21, 2015

The Fooker was amazing. I'm stealing that.

If I ever get back into FE hacking, I am definitely going to use him in the future, so please refrain from stealing unless it's for Ragefest. =D

I think every hacker started out modding Lyn mode or something like that... Maybe it was only bad because Marky was learning how to do this stuff back then? (it seems overwhelmingly hard to me which is why I haven't gotten into it)

Watch as I eat my own words as we go along here......

You are correct.

There weren't many tutorials back then, so some things had to be learned through trial and error. I never got the hang of changing enemy positions and adding units through the nightmare editor.

Though, with that said, the hack would have been bad no matter what. You can't make a reskin of Lyn Mode interesting with just nightmare. Or. You can, but you would have to be very skilled at enemy positioning and modifying stats for balancing and difficulty. And the only person I know of who pulled that off was DLuna with his FE6 Redux, one of my favorite hacks.

But alas. That's about as far as you can go with something like that. Even then, how many people want to replay FE6 when they could just play a shiny brand new game like Midnight Sun (Another one of my favorite hacks)?

... Also, if you want help FE hacking, you should come on over to my forums. I have a section dedicated to helping guys like you out, and I've calmed down ever since I took a break from the Fire Emblem Community. I have a lot of FE hacking skills, and I've been around for about 7 years. Not to mention, when I am not at work, I'm pretty much always available.

The end of Super Hard Lyn mode. And I think we know how bad this hack was. But it can only get better from here?

Weeeeell... Here's the thing.

Super Hard Lyn Mode is still Lyn mode. It still uses the well thought out maps of the original designers. Old Fire Mumblem replaces those lovely maps with those of an amateur.

... You can probably see where I am going with this.

Also, a question for Marky. Out of all of your hacks, which one do you like the most and which one do you dislike the most?

The one I like most is a toss up between Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition and Chronicles of Lussaria.

I feel like FM:RE was where I finally established my level design style: give the player a buttload of stuff to do and encourage risky, fast play for the highest rewards. It's also the hack I most regret not finishing. I had so many ideas at the time, and I was still good friends with BuringPenitentEngine, who was the guy I had LP my hacks back then. His opinions helped inspire me to improve and make more content for him to play. I had so much momentum that could have helped me finish the hack. I still have the map for Chapter 5, which looks amazing. In fact. Lemme show it off here.

With Chronicles of Lussaria, My level design skills were the highest they had ever been, and by making The Corruption of Roy, I learned a lot about how not to write a story (I also looked up a lot of story writing stuff). The comedy writing in that hack was wittier and more consistent than anything I wrote before, and I almost perfected my level designing skills. I say almost because I feel Chronicles of Lussaria was too deliberate in its design. If you wanted to get everything, the solution had very little flexibility, and a very important part of gameplay is allowing the player to express themselves through their strategies and movements. Disregarding that though, the maps, including the unreleased chapter 2, are very fun to play.

CoL has a massive amount of maps that never made it into the game, well over 30, and there was a plethora of chapter ideas I had planned. I would redesign maps constantly because I wanted the level design to be as good as possible, and my determination was higher than it had ever been.

... Until I was crushed by depression, self hatred and guilt.

I still have most of those maps by the way, and maybe in the future, I will show them off.

SO

I thought about the idea of modernizing Super Hard Lyn Mode, and these are a couple of ideas I came up with.

Obviously, there would be custom Maps, events, and cutscenes. Also rebalancing. ASM!!
Fire Mumblem/Chronicles of Lussaria's Bonus Task System might be implemented.
Changed cutscenes would be inspired by the original game, including class choices, certain enemy types, etc.
Characters from Lyn Mode would still be in, but some other FE7 characters would show up, like perhaps Eliwood. Also, I would also give Guy and Adam proper portraits and have them join your team.
Guy would probably be an archer instead of a myrmidon with bow rank.
I would remove all glitches, but use them as inspiration for the game's plot. For example, remember how suspending the game on certain chapters makes Glitch Rath appear? Instead, I would have him teleport in every few chapters, say "...", then disappear. At some point, he would join your team, and his personality and dialogue would be all glitchy and weird. Alternatively, I might have him as a gimmick for a few chapters. He'd show up, and suddenly the whole map looks like a jumbled mess, changing terrain and making the battle more difficult. If you defeat him or he leaves, the map reverts back to normal.
Evil Lyn would be explained in the most absurd way possible. Something like The Fooker mastered the art of stem cell research and used Lyn's DNA to create a clone of her as her ultimate challenge. One of Lyn's allies would be a spy who would obtain this for him (Or perhaps Eliwood, seeing how he is The Fooker, would leave your team and reveal himself as the villain), and when you fight the two Yogis, that would be foreshadowing to this event.
First chapter, Lyn would have a weapon called "Hair tentacle" that allows her to attack her foes with her hair (animation included). However, because Lyn uses so much conditioner and shampoo, her hair is soft and cozy, and deals no damage to the enemy. She would then never use this ability again. Perhaps Evil Lyn uses it against her and can actually damage with it, causing Lyn to lament never training up her Hair Weapon Rank.
Batta would move and have much higher stats, enough that you can't beat him without terrain advantage. Seizing the throne while he's still alive would trigger a funny dialogue and kill him. As an optional strategy, you can steal the throne and beat him for EXP and maybe extra goodies.
Inside Out man would be a boss, or an enemy type that you fight every now and then, kinda like an elite mook. He'd also have a portrait, showing him in all of his grotesque close up glory.
The sniper from that chapter where you hit the switches would have her own portrait, a boss icon, and her own dialogue. She'd have a ditzy, self-absorbed personality, and her boss quote would be something like... "I'm gonna kill you! But first... SELFIEEEEEE!"
It would actually be hard. Though, not too hard, since I want people to still play it and laugh at all the weird ass shit I do. But perhaps I'd have an "even harder" mode that makes the game truly live up to its title.

That's all I got for now. I am interested in doing this, but... I dunno. Lately I've been finding it hard to get back into FE hacking. Still. The thought of the game getting a remake... just seems awesome.

Edited February 21, 2015 by MarkyJoe1990

lonelyVoxel · February 21, 2015

If I ever get back into FE hacking, I am definitely going to use him in the future, so please refrain from stealing unless it's for Ragefest. =D

If you know C# you might want to try out FEXNA once it's released.

I'll probably have some extremely convoluted reference to him in a game I make, since I have this crazy idea for a totally new video game in my head that's been going for a while XD

MarkyJoe1990 · February 21, 2015

If you know C# you might want to try out FEXNA once it's released.

I'll probably have some extremely convoluted reference to him in a game I make, since I have this crazy idea for a totally new video game in my head that's been going for a while XD

I might use FEXNA when it comes out, but I'm not sure. I'm pretty comfortable with the GBA Rom, and FEXNA has a lot of features that - while nice - I don't really need them. Though, it would certainly be nice to not have to worry about space.

And uh. Alright. Go for it, man.

Also! I forgot to answer the second part of Zoruad's question! Of my hacks, what is the one I dislike most?

That's kind of a tough one. It's probably a toss up between The Corruption of Roy and Project Shoe Shine.

The Corruption of Roy is a Ragefest submission, but it takes itself way too seriously. It also has bits of silliness that don't gel well with its dark atmosphere.

The level design is just. awful. I hate playing it everytime I go back to it. While I complained that Chronicles of Lussaria is too deliberate in its design, The Corruption of Roy takes that to the extreme in Part 1. You have almost no choice in how you play assuming you're trying to get everything. The only real choice you're given is to train up Lilina, but while her fire power is extremely good, and the bolting tome trivializes segments in part 2, her paper thin defense and the extremely limited supply of weapons makes it barely worth it, if at all. And everything just takes. so. LONG!! Part 1 takes, like, 25 turns to complete, and then you have to slowly and very procedurally obtain the restore staff to deal with Hujix in part 2 while searching for a switch that requires loads of trial and error to find because lol Ragefest.

The dialogue, while occasionally funny (IE: Sophia recruiting Shigeid) and providing extra characterization for some of FE6's cast (IE: Sophia and Cath talk), is otherwise very stilted and very inorganic. "Sophia?" "Yes, Lilina?" Who the hell responds like that? Also Roy's transition from pretending to be nice to Sophia to WAHAHA I'M EVIL is so abrupt that it just leaves me dumb founded.

The story has some interesting bits. I've always liked Roy as a character and think people don't give him enough credit. Being able to put a dark twist on his character was cool, and I think I actually did a good job making sense out of it and explaining Roy's character in general. But jeez. Why oh why did Roy have to become a cartoon villain when you actually meet him? There's so much build up before that point, and for that to be the climax? It's such a shame.

Now. Despite these faults, I do feel that this hack was important to my progression as an FE hacker. I try very hard to analyze, discover, and learn from my mistakes, and it's thanks to this hack that my writing skills matured enough to make something like Chronicles of Lussaria.

I feel the idea behind the hack has potential (Roy going insane), but I executed it poorly because of my inexperience with story writing, and if it wasn't a Ragefest submission, I might have designed the maps for sane people.

As for Project Shoe Shine, this... hack is just really really poorly designed. It was made during the phase in my hacking exploits where I was becoming really depressed and self hating, and losing motivation to be productive. The result is that the chapters are very clearly rushed and not well thought out. Archerville is clearly incomplete (What do you do with the prisoner?), and Berserkerland or whatever it's called is way too hard, and reliant on your units not getting RNG screwed at the start of the chapter. Perhaps this is worse than The Corruption Of Roy because of how pointless it is, and how little I improved from doing it.

Edited February 21, 2015 by MarkyJoe1990

TheMoniker · February 21, 2015

Never again, riiiiiiiiiiight...

I just mentioned the hair, not the...okay, I see your point, NOW it will never be mentioned again.

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Super Hard Lyn Mode: Episode 7: Chapter 9: Part 2: The Epic Final Fight

I haven't watched your other LPs, but is this kind of your "thing" that you do?

Yup. Each LP has a different "intro", and I thought this one would be ironic because I was saying to skip the intro, and...oh, forget it.

Spoiler ()

This is where I realize that the cavaliers are phantoms. These are by far the most threatening phantoms yet!

Since this is the final chapter of a 9-chapter hack, everything must be level 20.

Obviously.
I don't think you've mentioned this yet, but the Flame Spear is unique among the magic weapons in that it lacks any penalties. If I actually had it functioning the way I wanted, that pegasus rider woulda been dealing way less damage.

Yeah, I didn't really notice that. I guess it could have been OP, if it weren't for the fact that there were pegs using it.
Given how strong the enemies are in this chapter, I think those speedwings are actually saving him from getting utterly wrecked.

Actually, I feel I should bring something up here. I made this hack with the assumption that you would play it on hard mode. The original download included a save I believe, but when I released it as part of the Fire Mumblem "Fun" Pack, I forgot to include it I guess.

With that in mind, normally you'd be able to use those speedwings on anyone you want. But seeing the Wallace boast about how invincible he is for having 2 speed is not only something I've never seen before, but utterly hilarious.

Actually, I just forgot to USE the provided ,sav... Also, is it boasting if the speedwings ACTUALLY MADE YOU INVINCIBLE?

Oh ho... did I make his promotion a female sage? I don't know why, but I somehow think I did that.

Actually, I was going to put my comments on Lucius's 3-use tome there. I never promoted Erk in any of my runs(of which there are 2), so I wouldn't know.

This was a 17/18-year old sheltered Markyjoe abusing his new text editing powers. This is the same man who made THIS.

That was actually hilarious.

Remember earlier in the thread when I said this hack and some of my others helped me figure out what I didn't like in FE hacks?

Yeah...

Though, I don't think fourth wall breaking is always bad. I've played enough Disgaea to see how it can be done well. It's just. Hacks like Project Z don't do it too well. Plus the reliance on meme-y kinda jokes, y'know?

Through my mistakes, I learned how to do fourth wall jokes well; Chronicles of Lussaria has a lot of good ones. Especially in the intermission chapter.

Honestly, Project Z was one of the least entertaining hacks I ever played. I mean, it was a little funny at the start, but it didn't last. I was playing it on my own time, not even for an LP, and I only got a few chapters farther than you before I just had to stop because of how BORING the levels and dialogue were! Seriously, I had a worse time with it than I did Corrupt Theocracy(another terrible hack I played), because that hack was at least therapeutic after Chaos Mode(which I think you did play a bit of?). I could go on a crazy rant about that hack, but unless it's requested, this is all I'll say.

Holy jesus! I coulda sworn Evil Lyn was way stronger than that.

Well, Good Lyn DID just get fed basically every statbooster of the massive pile I was given, and Evil Lyn IS being weighed down by the bolting...

So, Marky said that this is where the hack ends, and that everything after that is unfinished. So obviously, what we're going to do is KEEP PLAYING ANYWAY

Okay. So. Believe it or not, I did plan for there to be a final, tenth chapter that was nothing like the one you're about to show.

You see, thinking back to it, I think the reason why I made this hack was to practice and hone my skills in FE hacking. As I got better, I would get more ambitious with my changes. It started with things like making Lyn a mage, then I added new characters, then custom dialogue, etc. As you play this hack, you see a slow progression in my abilities.

Now, the reason why I bring this up is because chapter ten was originally going to be my very first custom map. I don't remember the details, but it was going to be a castle chapter where you face off against

. Of course, my mind doesn't remember any plans on modifying the text, but... in my own mind, I knew what the plot of Super Hard Lyn Mode was going to be. Well. Vague details at best. Something about Evil Lyn working for The Fooker and... stuff. ._.
The reason why those plans never panned out is because this was still a very early time in Fire Emblem hacking. If I remember right, Nintenlord hadn't made his Event Assembler yet, and you had to make map tile changes in hex. That latter problem got HUGELY in the way of me making the chapter, since I wanted chests and doors.

And thus, here we are today.

Wow, that's very interesting! I'm curious as to how it would have turned out(even though it probably would be just terrible...).

I have to jump through SO MANY HOOPS to reply to your stuff when you use spoilers...so appreciate it!

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

The opening event is gone, but the prep screen isn't? How did I do that!?

The Event Assembler did not exist when I made this.

I just...

Wow.

I'm impressed. I sucked so bad at hacking that I managed to impress myself.

Uh, actually, I just...didn't show...you know what? You have your moment of self-confidence.

Okay. So the idea behind this chapter... I think it was one of two things.

1) I wanted the player to feel like they were getting the upperhand, and everyone is allying together to fight towards one goal. Defeating the boss.

2) I wanted to show how powerful the final boss was by having him wipe out this entire army of NPCs.

Might have been entertaining, but the one enemy would probably end up either OP or UP, and it doesn't help that they're sitting on a throne.

... Wait. Fuck.

Okay, so this guy is supposed to be

. He used to be able to use his weapons, and he used to have way higher stats. I have no idea what happened here, but I'm glad it did because he was ridiculously hard. If your stats weren't high enough, you couldn't win.

The Fooker is still hilarious, and I have to wonder how Lyn would have stood against his TRUE FORM...but, I guess there was a reason this chapter was deemed unfinished.

I really liked Sophia, so I made it a point to make her usable in the game. Her growths are very high in this hack.

Makes sense, but I find it funny that she's named "citizen".

Alright. So.

This hack at some point was going to go further. I used to have a version that went up to... chapter 13 I believe. I very specifically remember the boss being a nomadic trooper with a bolting spell, complete with a "sword raise" animation to cast it.

Sometimes I think all hackers have future prediction powers, judging by all the similarities I keep seeing in everything...

The changed characters you see here are more or less a blur to me. I don't remember why I made them like that, but chances are, it was because I wanted to make it different from the original.

This hack is very much "of its time", being similar to hacks such as FE6: The Real War Chronicles by JadeWyvernRider(maybe I should check that out sometime), so the thought process you see in this hack can be seen in other hacks of its era (I recall quite a few hacks making Lyn or Eirika a mage). In fact, here's a fun fact for you, Super Hard Lyn Mode actually influenced some of the designs of FE6: The Real War Chronicles. For example, that super powered villager in chapter 1 made an encore appearance in one of the versions of Real War Chronicles. It might still be there even.

Kind of makes me wonder what would have happened if I had just kept playing the game forever and ever until it ended, but I suspect the changes peter out after a very short while.

If I ever get back into FE hacking, I am definitely going to use him in the future, so please refrain from stealing unless it's for Ragefest. =D

You are correct.

There weren't many tutorials back then, so some things had to be learned through trial and error. I never got the hang of changing enemy positions and adding units through the nightmare editor.

Though, with that said, the hack would have been bad no matter what. You can't make a reskin of Lyn Mode interesting with just nightmare. Or. You can, but you would have to be very skilled at enemy positioning and modifying stats for balancing and difficulty. And the only person I know of who pulled that off was DLuna with his FE6 Redux, one of my favorite hacks.

But alas. That's about as far as you can go with something like that. Even then, how many people want to replay FE6 when they could just play a shiny brand new game like Midnight Sun (Another one of my favorite hacks)?

... Also, if you want help FE hacking, you should come on over to my forums. I have a section dedicated to helping guys like you out, and I've calmed down ever since I took a break from the Fire Emblem Community. I have a lot of FE hacking skills, and I've been around for about 7 years. Not to mention, when I am not at work, I'm pretty much always available.

Weeeeell... Here's the thing.

Super Hard Lyn Mode is still Lyn mode. It still uses the well thought out maps of the original designers. Old Fire Mumblem replaces those lovely maps with those of an amateur.

... You can probably see where I am going with this.

Oh, indeed. I'm sure you're all looking forward to the BEAUTIFUL maps!

The one I like most is a toss up between Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition and Chronicles of Lussaria.

I feel like FM:RE was where I finally established my level design style: give the player a buttload of stuff to do and encourage risky, fast play for the highest rewards. It's also the hack I most regret not finishing. I had so many ideas at the time, and I was still good friends with BuringPenitentEngine, who was the guy I had LP my hacks back then. His opinions helped inspire me to improve and make more content for him to play. I had so much momentum that could have helped me finish the hack. I still have the map for Chapter 5, which looks amazing. In fact. Lemme show it off here.

It has a few flaws, and would probably be insanely long, but that's a totally nice map!

With Chronicles of Lussaria, My level design skills were the highest they had ever been, and by making The Corruption of Roy, I learned a lot about how not to write a story (I also looked up a lot of story writing stuff). The comedy writing in that hack was wittier and more consistent than anything I wrote before, and I almost perfected my level designing skills. I say almost because I feel Chronicles of Lussaria was too deliberate in its design. If you wanted to get everything, the solution had very little flexibility, and a very important part of gameplay is allowing the player to express themselves through their strategies and movements. Disregarding that though, the maps, including the unreleased chapter 2, are very fun to play.

As I said, I liked everything about Chronicles of Lussaria BUT that. I guess people could just NOT get everything, but there will ALWAYS be people who want to get 100% and feel unfulfilled if they don't.

CoL has a massive amount of maps that never made it into the game, well over 30, and there was a plethora of chapter ideas I had planned. I would redesign maps constantly because I wanted the level design to be as good as possible, and my determination was higher than it had ever been.

... Until I was crushed by depression, self hatred and guilt.

I still have most of those maps by the way, and maybe in the future, I will show them off.

I hope you do!

SO

I thought about the idea of modernizing Super Hard Lyn Mode, and these are a couple of ideas I came up with.

Obviously, there would be custom Maps, events, and cutscenes. Also rebalancing. ASM!!

Fire Mumblem/Chronicles of Lussaria's Bonus Task System might be implemented.

I LIKED that system! Even if it did force the horrible railroading...

Changed cutscenes would be inspired by the original game, including class choices, certain enemy types, etc.

Characters from Lyn Mode would still be in, but some other FE7 characters would show up, like perhaps Eliwood. Also, I would also give Guy and Adam proper portraits and have them join your team.

Guy would probably be an archer instead of a myrmidon with bow rank.

I would remove all glitches, but use them as inspiration for the game's plot. For example, remember how suspending the game on certain chapters makes Glitch Rath appear? Instead, I would have him teleport in every few chapters, say "...", then disappear. At some point, he would join your team, and his personality and dialogue would be all glitchy and weird. Alternatively, I might have him as a gimmick for a few chapters. He'd show up, and suddenly the whole map looks like a jumbled mess, changing terrain and making the battle more difficult. If you defeat him or he leaves, the map reverts back to normal.

That would be insanely hard to hack, probably, but would be totally awesome if it worked.

Evil Lyn would be explained in the most absurd way possible. Something like The Fooker mastered the art of stem cell research and used Lyn's DNA to create a clone of her as her ultimate challenge. One of Lyn's allies would be a spy who would obtain this for him (Or perhaps Eliwood, seeing how he is The Fooker, would leave your team and reveal himself as the villain), and when you fight the two Yogis, that would be foreshadowing to this event.

~~Judging by Eliwood and Lyn's "behavior" in Old Fire Mumblem, Eliwood probably would have had far darker intentions...~~Okay, I'll stop now.

First chapter, Lyn would have a weapon called "Hair tentacle" that allows her to attack her foes with her hair (animation included). However, because Lyn uses so much conditioner and shampoo, her hair is soft and cozy, and deals no damage to the enemy. She would then never use this ability again. Perhaps Evil Lyn uses it against her and can actually damage with it, causing Lyn to lament never training up her Hair Weapon Rank.

That would be amazing.

Batta would move and have much higher stats, enough that you can't beat him without terrain advantage. Seizing the throne while he's still alive would trigger a funny dialogue and kill him. As an optional strategy, you can steal the throne and beat him for EXP and maybe extra goodies.

Inside Out man would be a boss, or an enemy type that you fight every now and then, kinda like an elite mook. He'd also have a portrait, showing him in all of his grotesque close up glory.

The sniper from that chapter where you hit the switches would have her own portrait, a boss icon, and her own dialogue. She'd have a ditzy, self-absorbed personality, and her boss quote would be something like... "I'm gonna kill you! But first... SELFIEEEEEE!"

It would actually be hard. Though, not too hard, since I want people to still play it and laugh at all the weird ass shit I do. But perhaps I'd have an "even harder" mode that makes the game truly live up to its title.

That's all I got for now. I am interested in doing this, but... I dunno. Lately I've been finding it hard to get back into FE hacking. Still. The thought of the game getting a remake... just seems awesome.

I would play it, if it existed!

I might use FEXNA when it comes out, but I'm not sure. I'm pretty comfortable with the GBA Rom, and FEXNA has a lot of features that - while nice - I don't really need them. Though, it would certainly be nice to not have to worry about space.

And uh. Alright. Go for it, man.

Also! I forgot to answer the second part of Zoruad's question! Of my hacks, what is the one I dislike most?

That's kind of a tough one. It's probably a toss up between The Corruption of Roy and Project Shoe Shine.

The Corruption of Roy is a Ragefest submission, but it takes itself way too seriously. It also has bits of silliness that don't gel well with its dark atmosphere.

The level design is just. awful. I hate playing it everytime I go back to it. While I complained that Chronicles of Lussaria is too deliberate in its design, The Corruption of Roy takes that to the extreme in Part 1. You have almost no choice in how you play assuming you're trying to get everything. The only real choice you're given is to train up Lilina, but while her fire power is extremely good, and the bolting tome trivializes segments in part 2, her paper thin defense and the extremely limited supply of weapons makes it barely worth it, if at all. And everything just takes. so. LONG!! Part 1 takes, like, 25 turns to complete, and then you have to slowly and very procedurally obtain the restore staff to deal with Hujix in part 2 while searching for a switch that requires loads of trial and error to find because lol Ragefest.

I didn't even actually watch the video(well, I did for Part 1 but lost interest at Part 2)... I guess I'd better if I'm gonna do this later on!

The dialogue, while occasionally funny (IE: Sophia recruiting Shigeid) and providing extra characterization for some of FE6's cast (IE: Sophia and Cath talk), is otherwise very stilted and very inorganic. "Sophia?" "Yes, Lilina?" Who the hell responds like that? Also Roy's transition from pretending to be nice to Sophia to WAHAHA I'M EVIL is so abrupt that it just leaves me dumb founded.

The story has some interesting bits. I've always liked Roy as a character and think people don't give him enough credit. Being able to put a dark twist on his character was cool, and I think I actually did a good job making sense out of it and explaining Roy's character in general. But jeez. Why oh why did Roy have to become a cartoon villain when you actually meet him? There's so much build up before that point, and for that to be the climax? It's such a shame.

Now. Despite these faults, I do feel that this hack was important to my progression as an FE hacker. I try very hard to analyze, discover, and learn from my mistakes, and it's thanks to this hack that my writing skills matured enough to make something like Chronicles of Lussaria.

I feel the idea behind the hack has potential (Roy going insane), but I executed it poorly because of my inexperience with story writing, and if it wasn't a Ragefest submission, I might have designed the maps for sane people.

As for Project Shoe Shine, this... hack is just really really poorly designed. It was made during the phase in my hacking exploits where I was becoming really depressed and self hating, and losing motivation to be productive. The result is that the chapters are very clearly rushed and not well thought out. Archerville is clearly incomplete (What do you do with the prisoner?), and Berserkerland or whatever it's called is way too hard, and reliant on your units not getting RNG screwed at the start of the chapter. Perhaps this is worse than The Corruption Of Roy because of how pointless it is, and how little I improved from doing it.

Yeah, I'd probably still play it if you could send me the patch link, but I'm not sure I want to.

No update this time(although I WILL post Tactician's Hell soon), just wanted to reply!

Edited February 21, 2015 by TheMoniker

MrNight48 · February 21, 2015

As for Project Shoe Shine, this... hack is just really really poorly designed. It was made during the phase in my hacking exploits where I was becoming really depressed and self hating, and losing motivation to be productive. The result is that the chapters are very clearly rushed and not well thought out. Archerville is clearly incomplete (What do you do with the prisoner?), and Berserkerland or whatever it's called is way too hard, and reliant on your units not getting RNG screwed at the start of the chapter. Perhaps this is worse than The Corruption Of Roy because of how pointless it is, and how little I improved from doing it.

As someone who played archerville and unedited berserker hills I thought your goal was to simply create crude chapters at the bare minimum that works?

I wasn't expecting a masterpiece or anything but I thought archerville mostly achieved what it was suppose to do which was a sample of map changes and unit placement. Berserker Hills was indeed the unbalanced one where the biggest problem I saw was the guy you made the "timer" for the player. Not only was he super far away and spawns too close to the village were he doesn't even get slowed down by 1 tile mountain walking, but how ridiculously strong you made him compared to the rest of the units. (gave me an idea on a few chapter designs though) Other than that wasn't that bad or maybe I just like playing hard chapters.

Also is project Z that kind of hack? I was thinking of LP'ing it eventually but I thought it was going to be more interesting based off of marks LP of it,

(damn sf erased my first post)

edit:

That's all I got for now. I am interested in doing this, but... I dunno. Lately I've been finding it hard to get back into FE hacking. Still. The thought of the game getting a remake... just seems awesome.

I call that the "Hacking skill cooldown" because it really does feel like you can't hack for awhile when you sit down and try. (I stop fighting it and just did LP's)

Edited February 21, 2015 by MrNight48

TheMoniker · February 21, 2015

The README for Tactician's Hell:

Tactician Hell Version 0.1

Created by MarkyJoe1990

____________________________________

July 25th 2010 - First Release (0.1)

- Level 1 Completed

____________________________________

Requirements

- A UPS Patcher. Go here for a nice one

http://www.feuniverse.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=130

- A Game Boy Advance Emulator. Google one.

- A clean US ROM of Fire Emblem 7: Blazing Sword

- Lots and lots of virtue

What is this?

This is a merciless, evil Fire Emblem hack that

will make you cry. Hatred shall ensue, kittens

shall be kicked, and controllers will be broken.

Do not play this hack for long if you want your

sanity to remain intact.

Why did you make this?

For novelty purposes. Most hacking communities

typically have a hack that's unbelievably hard.

I just wanted to fill in the void for the Fire

Emblem Community. Plus I was bored.

This hack makes me wanna tear you apart!

Good. I've achieved my goal.

Will you update this?

Yes, but only when I want to.

Why would anyone wanna play this?

People have their reasons.

What kind of reasons?

Well, to name one, if anyone is working on

their own Fire Emblem hack and want to

make it super hard, they can always look at this

hack and remember why that's a bad idea.

Do you have any other hacks?

Yes. Fire Mumblem Revised Edition is my

main Fire Emblem hacking project. Unlike

this piece of crap, Fire Mumblem aims

to be high quality. It also parodies bad

Fire Emblem hacks. If you are interested

in it, go to this link:

http://www.feuniverse.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=6741

I wanna send you hate mail.

<script cf-hash='f9e31' type="text/javascript"> /* */</script>

Credits

These are the people you should bitch and

moan at for making it possible for this hack

to exist

- 7eld for his Feditor Adv

This is probably the most hilarious readme of them all(even if some of it is lies), but maybe I should show the other ones whenever I'm about to start a new markyjoe hack...

Anyways, Tactician's Hell is a hack intended to be super hard. But here's the thing: It really isn't! I mean, it only goes on for one chapter, but that chapter isn't that complicated or hard to deal with! All you need is a good general strategy and some luck, unless you're going for 100%, which requires a fantastic hyperspecific strategy and lots of luck. Good thing I'm not going for 100%, right?

Anyways, I'm sure you're all curious, so let's get to the one and only TACTICIAN'S HELL EPISODE!

The title screen and stuff is normal, so let's get straight to it!

Ignore that other file, it's when I first played this hack. Yes, this is the second time I'm going to beat it.

Honestly, does this even matter?

Ooohhh...Indeed I have! What have you got for me?

It's not THAT imposing...

I have the PERFECT idea of what I'm getting myself into: An early Markyjoe hack!

YES.

But I'm not turning back, am I?

Well, actually...he's right! There's a LOT more stuff I could be doing than making an LP to mildly entertain people I don't know! I mean, I could have chosen a better location for the LP too, my stuff would get WAY more views at a place like Something_Awful! Not to mention, I'm only making this LP to distract myself from my terrible real life...maybe I should focus on fixing that instead of distracting myself from it?

Yeah, that's what I'm going to do! I don't need to play some silly hack!

Oh, I will! See you!

Gonna go blackscreen, huh? Well, I'm off! TIME TO GO FIX MY REAL LIFE!

*5 minutes later*

I'm back now...my attempts to fix my life didn't work...so, I'm gonna do this again!

Here we go!

Oh, the irony!

Oh, I'll use more save states than THAT(actually not really, I beat this without savestate abuse)!

AND SO IT BEGINS!

THREE units! Eliwood, Lyn, and Hector, all trapped in this together! Oh, and TONS of enemies!

Their stats are all normal, save for the HP, which we will be very much appreciative of in a moment.

The level 30 generics have the stats of level 1 units. Okay then.

Our objective is "Get out"(escape Hell!) and the escape point is straight through a 100-HP wall! How hard can it be to hold out until we get it br-

OH CRAP

WE HAVE NO WEAPONS

JUST CHEST KEYS

They say the way to win is to make use of the materials you have...

Oh good, a weapon!

WOAH. Buffed much? It also has 20 uses instead of 15, which is a VERY VERY GOOD thing. And yes, it does in fact boost strength by 5 points.

Okay, we'll all pull together to protect Eliwood while he breaks down the wall!

Ow ow OW! Vulneraries simply don't exist, so all this HP we're losing? We'll NEVER get it back.

Oh great. And now they're surrounded and-wait...seriously?

So yes. On EVERY SINGLE TURN, more enemies come from ALL the stairs. WHEN YOU START WITH NO WEAPONS, ON THE SMALLEST MAP POSSIBLE.

Free them, Eliwood!

Since the enemies are level 30, you gain a level basically every time you kill something. Winning kind of requires getting defense on your levels. Just a little. Especially if you want 100%.

Okay, we'll shelter Lyn and try to start breaking down the wall next turn.

Eliwood gets lots of levels. From now on I'll skip all the leveling, because it's REALLY BORING.

So MANY enemies! And someone's blocking our ONLY avenue to attack that wall!

Oh, and the Durandal only has so many uses! Hope you don't run out against the infinite tide of enemies!

Lyn and Hector go to try and distract all the enemies. Lyn dodges!

Okay! We have to get started on this!

But then, making a distraction takes its toll on my units! Nobody in this chapter is a "game over character", which is good, because it's hard to keep everyone alive.

But, without the others to make an adequate distraction...

...Yeah.

And then the game does enemy phases for all eternity.

Okay! SECOND TRY!

Lyn's just gonna hide over here. I'd use the pillar, but the mages could attack it...

I actually manage to get us in a position to attack the wall sooner than before! Mind you, we can'y get Hector to that upper chest, and there's NO WAY we're ever getting the lower one...

Okay, I'm still trying to get Hector to the chest!

And then Eliwood DIES. There's no way we can win without him, especially since Hector's way to the chest ends up blocked.

Okay, THIRD TRY!

Lyn decides to stop running, and utilize PILLAR POWER to keep herself alive.

Oh yes! With some UBER POSITIONING SKILLS, I got Hector to the second chest!

This is the part where things get better!

The Armads has 25 uses, and gives 1 +5 defense boost. This is a good thing.

Eliwood's still doing okay...

But Lyn is not. Bye, lady!

One of the mages moves and hurts Hector, but I think he'll be alright.

Lots of enemies everywhere, but we actually have a chance this time!

Eliwood gets started on the wall! We can do this!

The +5 defense boost from Armads turns "enemies chipping Hector a reasonable amount" to "everybody tinks him". As long as those 25 uses don't run out, Hector isn't gonna die.

Still more enemies...but we're weakening the wall! WE CAN ESCAPE HELL!

Also, Eliwood is the leader of the blue side. In case you're curious.

Super effective AND critical!

THE WALL IS OPEN!

THE ESCAPE POINT IS AVAILABLE!

WE'RE ESCAPING! THROUGH THE ESCAPE POINT!

WE WON!

YAY!

Also, look at all the levels Hector and Eliwood gained from the whole ordeal. Seriously, once your stats start increasing, things get a good bit easier.

Anyways, the next chapter is literally just Lyn mode, but with Eliwood as the main lord. I think we've seen all there is to see.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

That wasn't all that difficult-fun, almost. Although, the level design leaves some questions unanswered. Like, do the reinforcement waves ever stop or vary? The mage room is kind of pointless, but it has a locked door keeping in the mages, does it ever open for any reason? And the third chest...assuming that the Sol Katti was in there, was there anything special about it? Really, that chest was just way too much effort when you can beat the level fine with the other 2 sacred items.

Anyways, that's all for now.

NEXT TIME: The longest hack/LP in this bunch, Old Fire Mumblem, begins!

RandomSwordmaster · February 21, 2015

Well.....that was interesting.....I rate tactician's hell 4/10

sirmola · February 22, 2015

As someone who played archerville and unedited berserker hills I thought your goal was to simply create crude chapters at the bare minimum that works?

I wasn't expecting a masterpiece or anything but I thought archerville mostly achieved what it was suppose to do which was a sample of map changes and unit placement. Berserker Hills was indeed the unbalanced one where the biggest problem I saw was the guy you made the "timer" for the player. Not only was he super far away and spawns too close to the village were he doesn't even get slowed down by 1 tile mountain walking, but how ridiculously strong you made him compared to the rest of the units. (gave me an idea on a few chapter designs though) Other than that wasn't that bad or maybe I just like playing hard chapters.

You still have a copy of that? I'd love to see themoniker play it, but he apparently can't find a copy. If you have a copy, could you make a patch ad send it to him?

MarkyJoe1990 · February 22, 2015

Finally! I am back from work and can make my reply!

Sometimes I think all hackers have future prediction powers, judging by all the similarities I keep seeing in everything...

What do you mean by this?

That would be insanely hard to hack, probably, but would be totally awesome if it worked.

Naaah. I know how I would do the glitch rath thing. It would just take a lot of effort.

I didn't even actually watch the video(well, I did for Part 1 but lost interest at Part 2)... I guess I'd better if I'm gonna do this later on!

Even though The Corruption Of Roy comes with its own guide, it's not very helpful, but I'd also rather you play the hack blind to see just how merciless it is. Use savestates, but keep in mind that some of the traps I designed so that you don't realize you messed up until it's too late and you save stated way past the point where you needed to do something right. =X

Yeah, I'd probably still play it if you could send me the patch link, but I'm not sure I want to.

It's simply not a hack worth looking at or analyzing. It has no valuable place in my history as an FE hacker.

As someone who played archerville and unedited berserker hills I thought your goal was to simply create crude chapters at the bare minimum that works?

Not sure if I mentioned this yet (I was writing up my post before work. 5 hours later, I have to redo this post), but Chronicles of Lussaria was a collaboration project. I wanted to give the other members a chance to design chapters in it, and as a result, I needed something to do while I waited. That's where Project Shoe Shine came in. I merely did it to waste time and try out some gameplay ideas.

Also is project Z that kind of hack? I was thinking of LP'ing it eventually but I thought it was going to be more interesting based off of marks LP of it,

It tries too hard to be funny, and the level design is kind of unfair. A lot. However, it comes up with a lot of neat ideas never seen in other hacks. Just. Not with good execution to boot.

I think if it just gets polished up, it'd be fantastic.

I call that the "Hacking skill cooldown" because it really does feel like you can't hack for awhile when you sit down and try. (I stop fighting it and just did LP's)

I find it hard to get back into hacking mainly because of depression problems. If I had the drive to do anything, I would want to get back into FE hacking. But all I can get myself to do is play Project M, watch videos, and occasionally compose music.

Anyways, Tactician's Hell is a hack intended to be super hard. But here's the thing: It really isn't! I mean, it only goes on for one chapter, but that chapter isn't that complicated or hard to deal with! All you need is a good general strategy and some luck, unless you're going for 100%, which requires a fantastic hyperspecific strategy and lots of luck. Good thing I'm not going for 100%, right?

Tactician Hell I feel is the precursor to Ragefest.

Also, getting 100% is impossible, you can at the very least beat the chapter with all units alive. I've seen it be done.

YES.

Jeez. This whole cutscene is super long winded.

OH CRAP

WE HAVE NO WEAPONS

JUST CHEST KEYS

I know you said this chapter is bad, but I honestly think making your units start defenseless is a pretty neat idea. The chapter has some replay value in seeing how many things you can get/how many units you can keep alive.

Oh great. And now they're surrounded and-wait...seriously?

So yes. On EVERY SINGLE TURN, more enemies come from ALL the stairs. WHEN YOU START WITH NO WEAPONS, ON THE SMALLEST MAP POSSIBLE.

And thus, that day, MarkyJoe1990 learned another lesson about level design from his mistakes.

Don't clusterfuck the player with enemy units.

Also, don't be lazy and spam the same reinforcement event every turn to make a chapter "hard".

Okay, THIRD TRY!

With that said though... For someone who said this chapter wasn't hard... losing twice? =3

FINAL THOUGHTS:

That wasn't all that difficult-fun, almost. Although, the level design leaves some questions unanswered. Like, do the reinforcement waves ever stop or vary? The mage room is kind of pointless, but it has a locked door keeping in the mages, does it ever open for any reason? And the third chest...assuming that the Sol Katti was in there, was there anything special about it? Really, that chest was just way too much effort when you can beat the level fine with the other 2 sacred items.

Anyways, that's all for now.

I think there's a certain intrigue on how the map design looks actually. It makes no sense, and the fact that you can't open certain doors, or reach certain areas I think adds a sort of... alien sinisterness to its design. Like you're trapped inside a place you don't understand that is clearly hostile and unsafe. Imagine a whole hack with indoor maps of false hallways and unreachable doors and just... dangerous things happening for no explained reason. There's just something creepy about that to me.

If I were to modernize this hack, I'd probably just expand upon the concept more. I'd still have unopenable doors, chests, and other things. Of course, I'd still make some things accessible, but I'd still want to give the player that feeling like they're missing something and could be going into the next battle horribly unprepared.

The concept just sounds really interesting!

I mean, okay, the hack as it is right now is still not good, but it has potential to be like something we've never seen before.

- Yes, the Sol Katti is in fact inside the unreachable chest. I think it's buffed like the rest too.

- The mage door never opens.

- The reinforcements don't stop until an unrealistically high amount of turns pass. Like. 9999 or something.

NEXT TIME: The longest hack/LP in this bunch, Old Fire Mumblem, begins!

When I saw this... I got really depressed. Lots of bad memories flooded back into my head.

I'll explain as you go through the game, but... yeah. This hack came near the end of the era of happy, optimistic markyjoe.

Edited February 22, 2015 by MarkyJoe1990

RandomSwordmaster · February 22, 2015

and then rose critical, pessimistic markyjoe who could not be appeased.

Doctor Robert · February 22, 2015

... Also, if you want help FE hacking, you should come on over to my forums. I have a section dedicated to helping guys like you out, and I've calmed down ever since I took a break from the Fire Emblem Community. I have a lot of FE hacking skills, and I've been around for about 7 years. Not to mention, when I am not at work, I'm pretty much always available.

Yeah... the scary bunny lady in your banner scared me. XD

In all seriousness, when I said it was hard, I meant I didn't have the time to learn hard computer stuffs. Who knows? Maybe somebody I won't be busy with life or something... like maybe when I'm old and don't want to write anymore... Such tragedy. ~~Also your FE Hacking section looks rather deserted...~~

I just mentioned the hair, not the...okay, I see your point, NOW it will never be mentioned again.

I'll hold you to your word. rotflmao

This is probably the most hilarious readme of them all(even if some of it is lies), but maybe I should show the other ones whenever I'm about to start a new markyjoe hack...

Meh, I've seen funnier readme's. ;P

That wasn't all that difficult-fun, almost. Although, the level design leaves some questions unanswered. Like, do the reinforcement waves ever stop or vary? The mage room is kind of pointless, but it has a locked door keeping in the mages, does it ever open for any reason? And the third chest...assuming that the Sol Katti was in there, was there anything special about it? Really, that chest was just way too much effort when you can beat the level fine with the other 2 sacred items.

I think it's a good concept. I think the community needs a good rewarding grindfest (infinite reinforcements and such) but with droppable weapons when appropriate and maybe one of them InfiniteElixirs™ from Last Promise... just as a therapy thing to see a character become amazingful and such...

RandomSwordmaster · February 22, 2015

Yeah... the scary bunny lady in your banner scared me. XD

oh god you've done and pissed him off.....*runs to soviet russia*

MarkyJoe1990 · February 22, 2015

oh god you've done and pissed him off.....*runs to soviet russia*

Eh? What are you talking about?

Reisen can control light, sound, mind, and a few other kinds of waves.

With this in mind... she can transform into your worst fears.

I'd be pretty scared of that!

Edited February 22, 2015 by MarkyJoe1990

RandomSwordmaster · February 22, 2015

oh.....*runs to soviet russia anyway*

lonelyVoxel · February 22, 2015

Man, I wish I could run through time!

TheMoniker · February 22, 2015

Finally! I am back from work and can make my reply!

What do you mean by this?

Just that sometimes I see concepts from one hack that was made early that are veeeerrryyy similar to a hack that was made later on.

Naaah. I know how I would do the glitch rath thing. It would just take a lot of effort.

Even though The Corruption Of Roy comes with its own guide, it's not very helpful, but I'd also rather you play the hack blind to see just how merciless it is. Use savestates, but keep in mind that some of the traps I designed so that you don't realize you messed up until it's too late and you save stated way past the point where you needed to do something right. =X

Alright, then I'll keep myself spoiler-free, unless I absolutely need help for whatever reason.

It's simply not a hack worth looking at or analyzing. It has no valuable place in my history as an FE hacker.

Not sure if I mentioned this yet (I was writing up my post before work. 5 hours later, I have to redo this post), but Chronicles of Lussaria was a collaboration project. I wanted to give the other members a chance to design chapters in it, and as a result, I needed something to do while I waited. That's where Project Shoe Shine came in. I merely did it to waste time and try out some gameplay ideas.

It tries too hard to be funny, and the level design is kind of unfair. A lot. However, it comes up with a lot of neat ideas never seen in other hacks. Just. Not with good execution to boot.

I think if it just gets polished up, it'd be fantastic.

I find it hard to get back into hacking mainly because of depression problems. If I had the drive to do anything, I would want to get back into FE hacking. But all I can get myself to do is play Project M, watch videos, and occasionally compose music.

Tactician Hell I feel is the precursor to Ragefest.

Also, getting 100% is impossible, you can at the very least beat the chapter with all units alive. I've seen it be done.

Jeez. This whole cutscene is super long winded.

I know you said this chapter is bad, but I honestly think making your units start defenseless is a pretty neat idea. The chapter has some replay value in seeing how many things you can get/how many units you can keep alive.

Yeah, that's true, and it is kind of interesting, even if it feels a bit like the "you're captured and in prison" chapters.

And thus, that day, MarkyJoe1990 learned another lesson about level design from his mistakes.

Don't clusterfuck the player with enemy units.

Oh, if only FE7if had known the same!

I say a lot of stuff for the benefit of people who lurk on this forum and read ALL the LPs(eg: like me), btw.

Also, don't be lazy and spam the same reinforcement event every turn to make a chapter "hard".

With that said though... For someone who said this chapter wasn't hard... losing twice? =3

It's only because I didn't use savestates, which I normally totally rely on!

I think there's a certain intrigue on how the map design looks actually. It makes no sense, and the fact that you can't open certain doors, or reach certain areas I think adds a sort of... alien sinisterness to its design. Like you're trapped inside a place you don't understand that is clearly hostile and unsafe. Imagine a whole hack with indoor maps of false hallways and unreachable doors and just... dangerous things happening for no explained reason. There's just something creepy about that to me.

If I were to modernize this hack, I'd probably just expand upon the concept more. I'd still have unopenable doors, chests, and other things. Of course, I'd still make some things accessible, but I'd still want to give the player that feeling like they're missing something and could be going into the next battle horribly unprepared.

When you think about it that way, it's actually pretty cool, even if the concept was kind of underdeveloped.

The concept just sounds really interesting!

I mean, okay, the hack as it is right now is still not good, but it has potential to be like something we've never seen before.

- Yes, the Sol Katti is in fact inside the unreachable chest. I think it's buffed like the rest too.

I suppose it's not UNREACHABLE, it's just impossible to the point where there's no reason to go for it.

- The mage door never opens.

- The reinforcements don't stop until an unrealistically high amount of turns pass. Like. 9999 or something.

I think I read somewhere the chapter turn count stops at 500...

When I saw this... I got really depressed. Lots of bad memories flooded back into my head.

I'll explain as you go through the game, but... yeah. This hack came near the end of the era of happy, optimistic markyjoe.

Aww...hopefully my semi-witty commentary can cheer you up!

Responses in blue!

I think it's a good concept. I think the community needs a good rewarding grindfest (infinite reinforcements and such) but with droppable weapons when appropriate and maybe one of them InfiniteElixirs™ from Last Promise... just as a therapy thing to see a character become amazingful and such...

Yeah, I've actually had thoughts about an infinite level with reinforcements that steadily increased in level and number to match your own as you trained your character, on a large map that maybe had areas you could slowly gain access to as you increased in power(beef gate!), as some sort of weird hack concept.

Okay everyone, time to play Old Fire Mumblem! This is a crazy bad hack, for a variety of reasons which I might point out, but nevertheless, we will probably get some interesting experiences out of it! So...

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Old Fire Mumblem: Episode 1: Episode 1: The Beginning of the Beginning

Were you actually expecting a custom title screen?

^{_{We'll get one later}}

As you can see, we don't have CHAPTERS, we have EPISODES! Makes more sense, right?

Believe it or not, the game does stuff with your name, so...this actually matters!

So...survival test, huh? Guess what the objective is!

Enemies and allies spam-deploy everywhere, corrupt-theocracy style, and then...

The chapter just starts. No dialogue or anything! Don't worry, that will change. Anyways, there is EXACTLY ONE enemy, and he's on the fort. There's a bunch of allies too, but we're all scattered.

The map itself is some weird sort of pseudo-castle, with a big field of nothing outside it. The good news is, we have a throne to hold out on!

As our standard troops, we have the whole cast of FE7 lords, with standard level 1 sucky base stats! Of course, all of them except Lyn have useful backup-weapons, luck for them. Mind you, Eliwood's gonna be doing most of the fighting, for reasons we'll see later. Also, no idea why Lyn is called Lyndis instead of just Lyn.

Oh, right! There's one more, isn't there!

It's Nino, everyone! That's right, the est joins you in the prologue! I'm not sure exactly what Marky did to growths, but I do know that he didn't nerf them, and so this lady becomes INSANELY OP if you actually train her. Which we're totally doing, because this isn't the type of hack you want to do a challenge run on.

The one poor loser bandit moves out.

When suddenly, three more fighters!

So yeah, that's basically the gist of this chapter. Survive for fourteen turns with four separated units while large amounts of dudes pop out in the space in-between them all. Let's get to it!

The first thing we need to do is get everyone semi-close to each other...

Oh, and some of the descriptions are switched out! I really like this one.

Let's check out the shops!

There's nothing you really need, but I sell Hector's red gem regardless.

Bye, losers.

More fighters! Lyn is heading to meet up with hector, Nino's kinda stuck right now, and Eliwood will NOT move one step from that throne for the entire chapter.

Oh, sure! Hit NOW!

A third wave of fighters! Isn't this exciting?

The first of many. Hopefully they're all this good.

On the next turn, an archer and monk join the party! Eliwood equips his Light Brand to fend them off. You'd think it wouldn't work, but...

These are literally the wimpiest enemies ever.

Oh, and these guys have chest guys for some reason, even though there aren't chests on the map! And we can't steal them! Care to explain, Marky?

Nino's gonna need HP, she'll go down if both fighters hit her!

Magic!

Speed!

There weren't any more archers/monks, but some new classes joined the fray! The myrms and armors are the main threat, but Eliwood can handle the armors, while Nino can't really handle the myrms.

And this level isn't helping!

This one is, though.

That...has to hurt.

See Eliwood? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T USE MAGIC.

Ow!

More of the "new" reinforcements! Also, there's someone else...

It's none other than...

BATTAAAAAA!

LOOK at those beautiful stats. LOOK AT THEM.

Eliwood is still murdering, and gaining Eliwood levels.

These myrms are aggravating, but luckily one was too interested in healing to pursue Nino.

He's moving towards us, which is good and bad.

More! Luckily, nothing special comes this time.

A good level! Thank you!

Are you SURE that hit, Hector?

More!

Okay, Batta will be a DIFFICULT, CHALLENGING, THREATENING, HAIR-PULLING OUT BOSS, but I'm sure we can beat him!

*Quivers in fear*

They trade blows, and then...

Nino finishes!

It did, I'm JUST THAT SKILLED *shades*

BEST LINE OF THE WHOLE HACK

^{_{I'm sorry please don't yell at me}}

Wouldn't it be AMAZING if the Est turned out horrible?

I cry, because that strength point will be...

LOST.

Okay, this time around I'm less eager to attack Batta, and choose to hang back a bit.

Hector rewards me with a beauteous level.

Stay safe, Nino...

Eliwood is outpacing the others in level quantity due to his position, but not quality!

Lyn lures out Batta! Look at my MASTER TACTICS!

Lucky indeed...

Another pirate/armor/myrm combo, and another archer/monk to back them up! Eliwood can handle them all, of course.

Re-finished! And Nino's level was, slightly, better!

Oh, so we're back to fighters now?

Honestly, this just isn't hard.

It's really not.

Even if Eliwood isn't cooperating.

Hey Lyn, could you maybe get some defense sometime? Pretty please?

And now, back to the other type of wave for the "big finish"!

SOME FIGHTING LATER

What? Switching back to fighters again?

Hector's gonna be amazing, I can see it already.

I get it, they were revolving back and forth for the last few waves!

The only survivors were the pirate and myrm you see here.

AND THEN...

It just ends!

NEXT TIME: We gain witness to some pathetic semblance of a story!

MarkyJoe1990 · February 22, 2015

And so it begins!

As you can see, we don't have CHAPTERS, we have EPISODES! Makes more sense, right?

This hack doesn't really have a big, overarching plot, and the episodes themselves are relatively self contained. So I think this is one of the few wise choices I made in this hack.

Believe it or not, the game does stuff with your name, so...this actually matters!

The things I do with the Tact name... I look forward to this!

The chapter just starts. No dialogue or anything! Don't worry, that will change. Anyways, there is EXACTLY ONE enemy, and he's on the fort. There's a bunch of allies too, but we're all scattered.

This is history in the making!

Old Fire Mumblem I think was made a couple months after Super Hard Lyn Mode was abandoned. I stopped FE hacking for a while since I felt that I couldn't really go much further with the current tools. Every now and then I would check up on the community to see if new tools were available and, lo and behold, Nintenlord eventually released the Event Assembler! Excited to finally have full control over units, reinforcements, cutscenes, etc. I spent hours reading Arch's old eventing tutorial, experimenting and learning.

The result? One of the first ever custom chapters in FE hacking history (The first ever I believe is Puchiko's "Eliwood Vs. Everyone"). Though, this is not my first ever custom map. That would be the abandoned chapter 10 of Super Hard Lyn Mode.

Anyway, while I figured out eventing enough to make a custom chapter, map changes were still very difficult to do. In addition, conditional events confused the hell out of me, so Old Fire Mumblem has none. More on conditional events once you kill the boss...

As you can imagine from the episode title and lack of cutscenes, I was more or less doing the same thing I did with Super Hard Lyn Mode; figuring stuff out, testing it out, gathering data, then moving on to more difficult things as I progressed. In Super Hard Lyn Mode, it was mostly small milestones, but Old Fire Mumblem has enormous leaps and bounds between chapters thanks to the power of event editing and the desire to impress my friend BuringPenitentEngine.

As our standard troops, we have the whole cast of FE7 lords, with standard level 1 sucky base stats! Of course, all of them except Lyn have useful backup-weapons, luck for them. Mind you, Eliwood's gonna be doing most of the fighting, for reasons we'll see later. Also, no idea why Lyn is called Lyndis instead of just Lyn.

My memory is a bit hazy, but I think Hector's base stats are slightly nerfed. In the original game, he came at level 2. Here, he's level 1, so I figured it would make sense for his bases to be lowered a little.

That, and I felt he was too good in the original game.

Oh, right! There's one more, isn't there!

It's Nino, everyone! That's right, the est joins you in the prologue! I'm not sure exactly what Marky did to growths, but I do know that he didn't nerf them, and so this lady becomes INSANELY OP if you actually train her. Which we're totally doing, because this isn't the type of hack you want to do a challenge run on.

Nino's growths and especially her bases were nerfed. Granted, her growths weren't nerfed nearly enough. She is definitely a Top Tier unit. Though, I think Eliwood's the best unit overall.

There's nothing you really need, but I sell Hector's red gem regardless.

Shops... hoo boy. Self reminder: Talk about the shops once TheMoniker has gotten a few more episodes in!

A third wave of fighters! Isn't this exciting?

It's worth noting. Old Fire Mumblem was made before Tactician Hell, and I suspect Tactician Hell was made during Fire Mumblem, Revised Edition. I hadn't learned my lesson of NOT using Copy/Paste reinforcements yet. ;-;

Oh, and these guys have chest guys for some reason, even though there aren't chests on the map! And we can't steal them! Care to explain, Marky?

*Shrugs* Not a clue, chum!

There weren't any more archers/monks, but some new classes joined the fray! The myrms and armors are the main threat, but Eliwood can handle the armors, while Nino can't really handle the myrms.

I think Nino can one-hit kill them with Elfire. Most of the enemy units have much lower HP than normal in this chapter. The weight makes the Myrms able to double her, but if you have Lyn hanging around, you can trade-equip her back to Fire afterwards.

Actually, speaking of lowered HP, I just realized something. Instead of upping stats of enemy and player units like I did in Super Hard Lyn Mode, here, I was mostly lowering them, or just tweaking them slightly. Perhaps these were the first signs that I was becoming aware of this foreign concept called balance?

BATTAAAAAA!

LOOK at those beautiful stats. LOOK AT THEM.

A promoted boss unit with bad stats... Here was my reasoning.

I didn't feel that bosses gave enough EXP when killed. :P

A good level! Thank you!

I would have gotten annoyed since she didn't get speed. =X

*Quivers in fear*

I thought this line was clever. Hindsight makes me wonder why. Probably something like "OH MAN! I bet you thought this line wasn't changed!!"

It did, I'm JUST THAT SKILLED *shades*

Right. So. Batta. Hax. Conditional events.

Originally, Batta was going to be "full of hax". I was going event him to respawn every time you killed him. But I just couldn't wrap my head around conditional events, so I gave up and left him like this. Broken. Defeated. Mortal...

BEST LINE OF THE WHOLE HACK

^{_{I'm sorry please don't yell at me}}

I love making fun of myself.

Wouldn't it be AMAZING if the Est turned out horrible?

She hasn't gotten speed once, so I'm a tad worried to be honest!

Hector rewards me with a beauteous level.

Beauteous? Who are you? Sain?

Stay safe, Nino...

Don't die Lloyd!

Eliwood is outpacing the others in level quantity due to his position, but not quality!

That's really strange. I recall him being really good.

Re-finished! And Nino's level was, slightly, better!

Here's a fun fact for ya. Did you know that you can block Batta's spawn point? PwnageKirby did it in her LP, and I was like "God dammit!". She didn't even know anyone was going to spawn out of that stairway.

Honestly, this just isn't hard.

I know it's a bad chapter and all, but doesn't it make sense that it would be easy? It is the first chapter afterall.

Though. It could have at least been easy in an interesting way. Starting with NOT taking 14 flippin' turns!

Hey Lyn, could you maybe get some defense sometime? Pretty please?

Lyn puts more effort in maintaining that hair than she does in actually surviving. This is fact.

I get it, they were revolving back and forth for the last few waves!

Oh man. Changing up the reinforcement patterns in the last few turns? I'm so edgey.

It just ends!

It ended as it began...

The chapter just starts.

So poetic.

Edited February 22, 2015 by MarkyJoe1990

TheMoniker · February 23, 2015

The chapter just starts. No dialogue or anything! Don't worry, that will change. Anyways, there is EXACTLY ONE enemy, and he's on the fort. There's a bunch of allies too, but we're all scattered.

This is history in the making!

Old Fire Mumblem I think was made a couple months after Super Hard Lyn Mode was abandoned. I stopped FE hacking for a while since I felt that I couldn't really go much further with the current tools. Every now and then I would check up on the community to see if new tools were available and, lo and behold, Nintenlord eventually released the Event Assembler! Excited to finally have full control over units, reinforcements, cutscenes, etc. I spent hours reading Arch's old eventing tutorial, experimenting and learning.

The result? One of the first ever custom chapters in FE hacking history (The first ever I believe is Puchiko's "Eliwood Vs. Everyone"). Though, this is not my first ever custom map. That would be the abandoned chapter 10 of Super Hard Lyn Mode.

Anyway, while I figured out eventing enough to make a custom chapter, map changes were still very difficult to do. In addition, conditional events confused the hell out of me, so Old Fire Mumblem has none. More on conditional events once you kill the boss...

As you can imagine from the episode title and lack of cutscenes, I was more or less doing the same thing I did with Super Hard Lyn Mode; figuring stuff out, testing it out, gathering data, then moving on to more difficult things as I progressed. In Super Hard Lyn Mode, it was mostly small milestones, but Old Fire Mumblem has enormous leaps and bounds between chapters thanks to the power of event editing and the desire to impress my friend BuringPenitentEngine.

Oh, wow! I guess that makes sense. Very interesting! Maybe I should go look at that "Eliwood vs Everyone"...

It's Nino, everyone! That's right, the est joins you in the prologue! I'm not sure exactly what Marky did to growths, but I do know that he didn't nerf them, and so this lady becomes INSANELY OP if you actually train her. Which we're totally doing, because this isn't the type of hack you want to do a challenge run on.

Nino's growths and especially her bases were nerfed. Granted, her growths weren't nerfed nearly enough. She is definitely a Top Tier unit. Though, I think Eliwood's the best unit overall.

Ah, okay. Still totally using her.

There's nothing you really need, but I sell Hector's red gem regardless.

Shops... hoo boy. Self reminder: Talk about the shops once TheMoniker has gotten a few more episodes in!

Uh oh... I forget anything special that went on with them, so I'm totally unprepared...

A third wave of fighters! Isn't this exciting?

It's worth noting. Old Fire Mumblem was made before Tactician Hell, and I suspect Tactician Hell was made during Fire Mumblem, Revised Edition. I hadn't learned my lesson of NOT using Copy/Paste reinforcements yet. ;-;

Hmmm...I may have played these in the wrong order...

There weren't any more archers/monks, but some new classes joined the fray! The myrms and armors are the main threat, but Eliwood can handle the armors, while Nino can't really handle the myrms.

I think Nino can one-hit kill them with Elfire. Most of the enemy units have much lower HP than normal in this chapter. The weight makes the Myrms able to double her, but if you have Lyn hanging around, you can trade-equip her back to Fire afterwards.

Actually, speaking of lowered HP, I just realized something. Instead of upping stats of enemy and player units like I did in Super Hard Lyn Mode, here, I was mostly lowering them, or just tweaking them slightly. Perhaps these were the first signs that I was becoming aware of this foreign concept called balance?

*Gasp*! It all makes sense now! ...A little.

It did, I'm JUST THAT SKILLED *shades*

Right. So. Batta. Hax. Conditional events.

Originally, Batta was going to be "full of hax". I was going event him to respawn every time you killed him. But I just couldn't wrap my head around conditional events, so I gave up and left him like this. Broken. Defeated. Mortal...

While that would have been terrible and made the chapter an exercise in running from Batta...the poor guy... Mind you, everyone, this won't be his last appearance!

Hector rewards me with a beauteous level.

Beauteous? Who are you? Sain?

I assure you, I am IN-SAIN

^{_{Totally makes sense}}

Eliwood is outpacing the others in level quantity due to his position, but not quality!

That's really strange. I recall him being really good.

Well, I'm probably getting screwed on his levels.

Re-finished! And Nino's level was, slightly, better!

Here's a fun fact for ya. Did you know that you can block Batta's spawn point? PwnageKirby did it in her LP, and I was like "God dammit!". She didn't even know anyone was going to spawn out of that stairway.

Yeah, I thought about doing that, but it would be lame. Honestly, there are a lot of points on the map where you could hide units you wanted to keep safe.

Honestly, this just isn't hard.

I know it's a bad chapter and all, but doesn't it make sense that it would be easy? It is the first chapter afterall.

Though. It could have at least been easy in an interesting way. Starting with NOT taking 14 flippin' turns!

True, true.

It just ends!

It ended as it began...

The chapter just starts.

So poetic.

I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE OH MAN

Responses as usual.

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Old Fire Mumblem: Episode 2: Episode 2: Part 1: ENEMY SWARM

You guys should all remember why the "chapter intro" things do this(lack of a proper fade-in!).

We all pop onto the map again, with a few new people mysteriously with us! Also, we will now be treated to ACTUAL DIALOGUE! Remember, my text is bold and the game's text is normal.

Also, some of the text somehow got transcribed as red. Just ignore it, it totally isn't a bad attempt at censorship because this game's dialogue is harmful to minors or anything.

Eliwood: what a relief ..

I try hard to preserve all grammatical irregularities and spelling mistakes when I transcribe, so keep that in mind.

Hector: Nothin like a good workout.

Lyn: conquer. I doubt this one will pull any punches.

Translation: BS time!

Eliwood: Hmm… you’re right. But… pineapple. This pizza is hard.

That's not a swear word. It can't be a swear word if it's mis-spelled.

Wil: another adventure in FE7 so we’re coming with you

Eliwood: Oh! How convenient! Maybe this will make the mod much easier for us. We really need more troops

Except that both these troops have massive problems. Which we will see shortly.

Hector: Hey, isn’t this the part where we scroll over to the bad guys now?

Eliwood: Oh mango, you’re right! Moniker, please stop reading our pointless conversation

I'm not the one who does the scrolling! And...did you seriously do an emoticon face?

Suddenly, enemies spawn all over the map!

Evil(?) Lyn: Oh… I must’ve fallen asleep again

Oh, I'm doing fine. Still drowning in a haze of distractions after my attempt to fix my real life failed. Also, I'm getting hungry for some reason...

Evil(?) Lyn: You’re probably wondering why another Lyn is in this mod. That’s cause I’m Lyn’s evil clone. Nice to meet you. Anyways, as you can see I’m heavily guarded just like every boss in a Fire Emblem game Don’t tell the other but… I’m going to be holding back on them. Going full force on them this early in the mod would be way too much. Besides, I only wish to test out their skills Now. Um… so now what?

Blah, blah, blah. Stop sucking and get to the point, Evil Lyn!

There we go! Honestly though, with bosses like this it's no wonder all the enemies are idiots.

END DIALOGYE

And here we go!

Like my map, everyone? I'll do them when I can find some okay matchups with the start-map, so that the screenshots match up okay.

There's a bit of room to the right I didn't get it, but nobody cares about that.

So, the map is just a really linear path to the boss, with some enemies in the way. Should be easy, right?

...Right?

So, here's our two new characters. However:

1: There is a very good reason why we can't use Raven, which you will all see later.

2: Wil is an archer, and even with a longbow to help him out, he totally sucks.

Markyjoe forgot to use the edited description on these guys. Anyways, these knights are level 8, and the rest of the generics are level 5, even if their stats don't necessarily indicate it. Markyjoe loves throwing high-level mooks at you, inflating the level curve very quickly. We might even have promotions by the time we're done here, I forget.

And, not sitting on the throne, is, uh...

CAELIN, THE ULTIMATE BOSS OF ULTIMATE DESTINY

Yeah, no idea what happened here, but...HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

So, we start by luring out the thief and a fighter, WHEN...

Reinforcements! It's...it's only 4 guys, right? HOW BAD COULD IT GET?

We get a thing.

You're NEVER going to get defense, are you?

Another wave? Eh heh...the map's starting to fill up a bit...

~~So, I heard you liek speed...~~

These reinforcements are preventing me from moving forward!

The mercenaries from the forts have arrived, but they aren't that tough.

And, as long as Hector is standing on a forest, he can handle these guys! Seriously, he was a total lifesaver this chapter.

A third wave? Hah hah...notice how the map is getting a little full? Surely, this is the last one...

Thank you, Hector.

Okay, we're all hiding in the forests now, because I have a bad feeling about this.

Some people get to Wil, and because I was stupid and had him with his longbow, he gets doubled both times.

A fourth wave, A FOURTH WAVE. There are already SO MANY ENEMIES, and you add MORE?

Defenses! That's good, right?

All the pegs have elixirs, because that's fun!

Narrow miss.

Well, the reinforcements finally stopped, but we are not ABSOLUTELY SWARMED with enemies! HOW WILL WE HANDLE THIS? Find out...

NEXT TIME!

Sorry I haven't been able to release as many updates lately, I haven't had time to record new episodes so my backlog is shot right now.

TheMoniker · February 23, 2015

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Old Fire Mumblem: Episode 2: Episode 2: Part 2: Survival of the Buffest

We start things off with a very nice level. Defense! See Lyn? Squishies can gain defense! You can too!

Wil can't even one-shot the pegs, which removes what usefulness he could have had in this chapter.

However, this kill gets him a level! Surely, now he should finally be-

Welp!

Okay, we're still hanging around the forests, just trying to survive until this crazy assault breaks!

Pegs attack Wil. Now he's injured!

Evil Lyn: Great job, but now I’m afraid that you must make it past me now. Do you have what it takes?

AND SO BEGINS THE GREAT yeah that quote was kinda unfitting.

I thought things would be better this turn. I WAS WRONG.

At least Hector continues to gain THWOMP powers.

This is Lyn, scoping out potential slaves to make more hair products for her.

Because she certainly can't do anything else!

Like dodging. She can't do that!

I thought he was boxed in for a minute, but luckily, he's okay.

Eliwood does the MIRACLE CAPE SWISH, albeit unnecessarily.

Hector trips due to trying to do the Hectorcopter too early, and misses as a result.

We...we actually did it! They're just about cleared out!

BURN.

Boy Markyjoe, you asked for speed, and you're getting it!

Evil Lyn continues healing, leaving her circle of knights to do so.

Meanwhile, we now must walk across the empty map! HOORAY!

The enemies fail to kill us.

A LONG CHAIN OF HEALING AND INJURING LATER

I SOMEHOW don't think she was intended to get this close!

You suck SO much, Wil.

You too, Lyn!

Okay, now Nino needs to lure her out.

Which she does!

Chip!

You got the EXACT SAME bad level, TWICE IN A ROW.

Why?

Now, there's only person who can be allowed to get the kill...

Lyn: What the!? Another me!?

Evil Lyn: Yup. Quite a plot twist, Huh?

Lyn: But… that’s impossible! How could there be another me!?

Evil Lyn: Sigh… Are you even half aware that we’re in a mod?

Lyn: …Yes I am.

Evil Lyn: Exactly. So wouldn’t something like this make SENSE?

Lyn: …

Evil Lyn: Eh. Like it matters anyway. I doubt you are capable of surviving a single hit from my magical attacks.

Uh, crap! Uhhh...

JUST ENOUGH!

Why, yes, that WAS a very intelligent move on my part! Good job, me!

Anyways, Lyn totally owns Cae-Lyn.

Evil Lyn: Nngh! Ow! Mango! That really mango hurts!

GASP! An actually good level! But...no defense...

Now we just have to take care of the knight circle.

Oh yes! I found it! The perfect place to train Wil!

Critting? Now? Really?

I don't let him get ALL the kills, of course. Hector gets some too!

...Then again...

This is the part where I realize why my strategy can't work.

Shops time!

Nothing too remarkable, but I use just about all of my remaining cash on this thunder, because Nino totally needs it.

After restoring my funds with Raven's gem, I realize that the armory has an amazing inventory of mostly useless stuff! Sorry, I'm not gonna spend tons of money on effective weapons and magic swords!

And there goes the last knight!

Wow, my feelings exactly!

Hector: Mango yeah! That Lyn didn’t stand a chance!

Lyn: …

Hector: Aaaah! Eliwood! Behind you! It’s a noob!

Eliwood: Oh?

Evil Lyn: Eeek!

I'm not sure I understand this.

Hector: Pssh! We’ll let her live for now. Next time we meet though… I’m sticking my axe up her hot cookies!

Lyn: Hector!

Hector: Hey Eliwood. Wanna get stonecold soberd?

Eliwood: Would I? I’d love to!

Hector: Yeah!

Eliwood! Yeah!

Hector: Yeah!

Eliwood: Yeah!

I'd like to let you all know that this is very in-character.

This is surprisingly real.

Raven: Mnn… Not exactly proud of your stat growths, huh Wil?

Wil: *sigh* Rebecca outclasses me by a longshot…

PUNS!

Raven: Eh… who knows? Maybe our stat growths changed in this mod

Wil: Really!? Awesome! Let’s go get some root booze to celebrate!

Raven: Alright! Root booze!

Sorry Wil, I don't think your growths were changed.

NEXT TIME: Eliwood and co's adventure through the MASSIVE MAP OF MASSIVENESS

MarkyJoe1990 · February 23, 2015

Replying now.

You guys should all remember why the "chapter intro" things do this(lack of a proper fade-in!).

Prolly cause I didn't know about the event code OOBB.

I'm not sure starting the screen on blackness would be fitting though.

We all pop onto the map again, with a few new people mysteriously with us! Also, we will now be treated to ACTUAL DIALOGUE! Remember, my text is bold and the game's text is normal.

Also, some of the text somehow got transcribed as red. Just ignore it, it totally isn't a bad attempt at censorship because this game's dialogue is harmful to minors or anything.

Oh god. IT LEARNED TO SPEAK!!

Also. For the censorship stuff. Instead of fruits, why no use words like "darn", "Frack", and "Crap"? It makes it clearer to us adult folks what the original word was. =X

I'm not the one who does the scrolling! And...did you seriously do an emoticon face?

I didn't really know how to be funny at the time, so I just kind of relied on being unpredictable, weird, or shocking.

Oh, I'm doing fine. Still drowning in a haze of distractions after my attempt to fix my real life failed. Also, I'm getting hungry for some reason...

Evil(?) Lyn: Youre probably wondering why another Lyn is in this mod. Thats cause Im Lyns evil clone. Nice to meet you. Anyways, as you can see Im heavily guarded just like every boss in a Fire Emblem game Dont tell the other but Im going to be holding back on them. Going full force on them this early in the mod would be way too much. Besides, I only wish to test out their skills Now. Um so now what?

Blah, blah, blah. Stop sucking and get to the point, Evil Lyn!

It's funny cause she's named "Evil Lyn" but she's actually really nice! HAW HAW HAW!

So, here's our two new characters. However:

1: There is a very good reason why we can't use Raven, which you will all see later.

2: Wil is an archer, and even with a longbow to help him out, he totally sucks.

I have never been able to make Wil a good unit. Even when I tried. =(

Markyjoe forgot to use the edited description on these guys. Anyways, these knights are level 8, and the rest of the generics are level 5, even if their stats don't necessarily indicate it. Markyjoe loves throwing high-level mooks at you, inflating the level curve very quickly. We might even have promotions by the time we're done here, I forget.

By the last chapter, I usually have all my units promoted. I think. =X

CAELIN, THE ULTIMATE BOSS OF ULTIMATE DESTINY

Yeah, no idea what happened here, but...HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

I used to have her proper name, complete with a description, but somewhere down the line, it reverted back to this. This happened in Super Hard Lyn Mode too.

Reinforcements! It's...it's only 4 guys, right? HOW BAD COULD IT GET?

Uuuuuuugh. Guys, I hope you're ready for...

And, as long as Hector is standing on a forest, he can handle these guys! Seriously, he was a total lifesaver this chapter.

Hector's not that a good a unit in this hack, but this chapter pretty much justifies his existence.

A fourth wave, A FOURTH WAVE. There are already SO MANY ENEMIES, and you add MORE?

Look everyone!

All the pegs have elixirs, because that's fun!

Learnin' da ropes!

Sorry I haven't been able to release as many updates lately, I haven't had time to record new episodes so my backlog is shot right now.

Take your time. It takes a while to write up these replies! ;-;

Alright. Now for the second part...

Edited February 23, 2015 by MarkyJoe1990

MarkyJoe1990 · February 23, 2015

Part 2!

We start things off with a very nice level. Defense! See Lyn? Squishies can gain defense! You can too!

I think Nino's defense growth is actually higher than Lyn's in this hack.

AND SO BEGINS THE GREAT yeah that quote was kinda unfitting.

The boss quote triggers when the battle screen is brought up, regardless of what's going on.

This is Lyn, scoping out potential slaves to make more hair products for her.

Lyn's pose fits that line perfectly. XP

Because she certainly can't do anything else!

Can't wait for Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition where the exact opposite will be true!

I thought he was boxed in for a minute, but luckily, he's okay.

Y'know, that kind of thing is hilarious. I remember my first playthrough of Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones where I was playing the desert chapter, and Innes got completely surrounded by pegasus riders, unable to move.

Must be a metaphor for guys who are surrounded by beautiful, scantily-clad women.

Boy Markyjoe, you asked for speed, and you're getting it!

Awesome! =P

Meanwhile, we now must walk across the empty map! HOORAY!

It took me a very long time to learn that big maps = bad.

I SOMEHOW don't think she was intended to get this close!

Pretty impressive that she managed to get all the way over there. The AI has a habit of moving into random spots when healing allies with physic.

Man. This boss quote is lame. Revised Edition has a way better exchange between the two Lyns.

GASP! An actually good level! But...no defense...

Lyn is more or less there for sex appeal. She got HP so she lasts longer in bed, strength so she gives it to ya harder, resistance to make her less submissive, and speed to... well, you know.

After restoring my funds with Raven's gem, I realize that the armory has an amazing inventory of mostly useless stuff! Sorry, I'm not gonna spend tons of money on effective weapons and magic swords!

Duuuuude! Light Brands are really good! Plus your Lyn would greatly benefit from having a way to avoid counter attacks!

I'm not sure I understand this.

I dunno. It's supposed to show Evil Lyn's still alive? Hector and Eliwood's reactions don't really fit though.

Hector: Hey Eliwood. Wanna get stonecold soberd?

The way Hector abruptly brings this up... I think it's super funny! Plus he just completely ignores Lyn.

I'd like to let you all know that this is very in-character.

I don't like Lyn very much, so Hector and Eliwood get most of the jokes, with Lyn just reacting to their antics.

Sorry Wil, I don't think your growths were changed.

I'm starting to think so too... >_<

NEXT TIME: Eliwood and co's adventure through the MASSIVE MAP OF MASSIVENESS

Hoo boy... Next time, the chapter that began the downward spiral with my friendship with BuringPenitentEngine. This is where things are gonna get a bit depressing.

MrNight48 · February 24, 2015

ok maybe I have not fully awaken yet but why you couldn't use raven again? I don't think I saw why anywhere in there.

MarkyJoe1990 · February 24, 2015

ok maybe I have not fully awaken yet but why you couldn't use raven again? I don't think I saw why anywhere in there.

He didn't reveal why, and there is a good reason for that. Just wait.

TheMoniker · February 24, 2015

Replying now.

Also. For the censorship stuff. Instead of fruits, why no use words like "darn", "Frack", and "Crap"? It makes it clearer to us adult folks what the original word was. =X

BUT THEN I COULDN'T MEET MY ORIGINALITY QUOTA

Uuuuuuugh. Guys, I hope you're ready for...

That's actually a totally awesome image! Who made it? Was it you or someone else?

This is Lyn, scoping out potential slaves to make more hair products for her.

Lyn's pose fits that line perfectly. XP

She's like "I CHOOSE...YOU."

Because she certainly can't do anything else!

Can't wait for Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition where the exact opposite will be true!

I thought he was boxed in for a minute, but luckily, he's okay.

Y'know, that kind of thing is hilarious. I remember my first playthrough of Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones where I was playing the desert chapter, and Innes got completely surrounded by pegasus riders, unable to move.

Must be a metaphor for guys who are surrounded by beautiful, scantily-clad women.

Hah! There's this new awkward zombie comic that was posted in the fanart thread that just happens to fit this perfectly, actually...

It took me a very long time to learn that big maps = bad.

As we will all see.

Duuuuude! Light Brands are really good! Plus your Lyn would greatly benefit from having a way to avoid counter attacks!

Yeah, honestly, in retrospect...

NEXT TIME: Eliwood and co's adventure through the MASSIVE MAP OF MASSIVENESS

Hoo boy... Next time, the chapter that began the downward spiral with my friendship with BuringPenitentEngine. This is where things are gonna get a bit depressing.

This sounds simultaneously interesting, weird, and horrible, so...best get started!

Responses as usual.

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Old Fire Mumblem: Episode 3: Episode 3: Part 1: The Manor of TV, Carpets, and maybe the Occasional Enemy

Oh, how I wish I had watched TV instead of playing this! ...Well, not really.

We enter the map on the bottom.

Hector: Where’s the root booze? And what about the HD TV?

Yeah! Although, actually guys, I'm gonna be gone for a week starting this friday because I'm going on a vacation.

Hector: Hmph. Doesn’t mean we can’t try to make it as tolerable as we can. Right Eli?

Eliwood: Right, but… Lyn has a point. Where would we find an HD television?

Hector: There’s gotta be one in here somewhere. Too bad it’s so mango dark that I can’t see more than three spaces ahead of me.

What? Is this how it works? You just go up to a random building: "THERE'S GOTTA BE A TV IN HERE SOMEWHERE"!

Eliwood: …Wait. Did you just say you can’t see more than three spaces ahead of you?

Hector: Erm. Yeah, why?

Eliwood: Oh no pizza. That means this is a fog of war stage. I hate these stages.

Oh dear. It would be entertaining if it had an objective like "FIND THE TV", but no, this is a seize throne mission.

Oh, right! You might have noticed the new arrivals!

Eliwood: Serra? When did you arrive?

Serra: Five minutes ago. I nagged Erk to drive me here!

Wait, why don't they all just drive to a motel or something? Come to think of it, what is even their OBJECTIVE? Are they really just running around killing everyone in their path?

Eliwood: I see. Good thing too. We really need a healer anyway. Our vulneraries are running low.

Serra: I’m the cleric for you then!

Eliwood: Ah! Canas. Good to see you here.

Canas: Thankies. I helped Serra nag Erk to drive us over here. Of course, I would’ve always used my trump card.

Eliwood: And what is that?

Canas: Oh? You don’t know Eliwood?

Eliwood: Know what?

*GASP*

I didn't even NOTICE until now! SUCH A PLOT TWIST!

Eliwood: WHAT DID YOU SAY, CANAS?

Canas: I’m just as surprised as you are.

Indeed. Trust me, everyone, it gets worse. Much. Worse.

Then we scroll up to Bartre, who has deployed thieves-uh, I mean, glitched fighters!

Bartre(???): Damn! They must want my new HD television! Good thing I have a large army to keep them away! Troops! Move out! I’ll be watching TV. The new episode of Scrubs is on!

Well, this is convenient!

Bartre(???): Ah yes… I almost forgot about my awesome Dorcas clones…

Dorcas: GARBLE!

Bartre(???): Lol pal, unless you don’t want bacon, I suggest you Go out there and stop them from taking my HD TV! Understood?

Dorcas: GARBLE!

The Dorcas's actually move up and down while saying "GARBLE". It's kinda funny.

Bartre(???): Now to watch Scrubs

Suddenly, a green paladin rides in! Through, uh, the back door I guess! WHO COULD IT BE?

GASP! IT'S ISADORA!

Bartre(???): Eh?

Isadora: I cannot allow you to harm Lord Eliwood!

Bartre(???): Get outta here, Isadouche. Not even this MOD would make YOU a decent character.

Isadora: We’ll see about that!

Wow Marky, what a great way to subvert our expectations!

Why is it HIS fault? You're the one who brought a Light Brand to a Swordslayer fight, and then used it at 1 range!

And then she flees to go sit on a forest. I don't blame her, heading all the way to Eliwood's group could take YEARS.

Enemies spawn everywhere, then fog sets in and it's time to start!

END DIALOGUE

So, this map. Let me show you one of my screenshot-half-maps:

Yeah, there's obviously some horizontal room I didn't show, but THIS is what I have to walk through! Four screens of PAIN! And it makes me trek plenty of horizontal distance too!

The map is so big, you can't even see it all at once on the start screen!

The one knight we can see has BOOTS! Basically, the gimmick of this chapter is that all the side-corridors have knights in them, and all the knights have goodies on them! So yeah, you have to dispatch teams down those passages or miss stuff! Fun!

Now, our new arrivals:

Serra is our healer, which we will definitely need. I think she got buffed, because she was getting actually good levels when I was using her, and she has a Torch, which will be very helpful during this chapter!

And no, I will NOT do the Torch Glitch. At least...not yet.

Canas is our resident ethnic minority unit, who is of course a shaman, a class typically associated with dark magic, which itself is associated with evil. There's not that much to say about him, except that Markyjoe is totally racist..

Florina has been buffed as well, and she has a poison lance. That's all I have to say.

Oh, right! Isadora!

She's still injured, and she has bad stats and an okay weapon. I'll explain more about her as we go.

OH NO, THE HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN

A...wall of PEG KNIGHTS? What?

Well, they don't last long! And yes, Wil got ANOTHER terrible level.

Holy crap, PEGS HAVE CANTO...for some reason...

No, really, I killed an enemy and Florina could move again. She doesn't display this power later on, so...yeah. The only thing that could explain it is that Florina happens to be on the spot Serra nailed with her torch, and if that's actually what caused this, then someone needs to make a ragefest requiring the tactic.

Isadora starts chugging bell-shaped things which may or may not be medicine. Intelligent!

Reinforcements come from here and here, I think...somewhere...

Florina accidentally lures out some mages!

More reinforcements...

Oh hey! So, this is the main threat to Isadora. A myrm and a merc come every turn and assault her with the brutal power of their slim swords. We have to get there before they take her down!

Nino is gonna be a SPEED DEMON!

More reinforcements! Gah, I want to know what's COMING from down there!

Wil, you put three levels into basically gaining JUST SKILL, and then you MISS ANYWAY. I don't think it's POSSIBLE for a unit worse than you to even EXIST!

Levels from our newcomers.

Oh, the reinforcements were peg knights! COME TO ME, MY BEAUTIES!

More reinforcements up there. This continues for a while.

He's thwomp I tell you!

Gasp, a stat that isn't skill.

Serra lays down another torch. Honestly, for being so huge this mansion is SHOCKINGLY empty!

The knight has some money!

I think that was more reinforcements.

WIL GETS AN...unnecessary...CRIT!

There we go, Eliwood!

Ah crap, I sent Raven to check out that room because I didn't expect anyone to actually be in there!

Isadora's holding up pretty much fine.

So, yeah, Lyn's far ahead of everyone else, and she's BARELY made it halfway. We've had to split into groups, some to gold off the pegs, some to push forward, and Nino to explore that really long hallway with the Boots knight.

WHEN SUDDENLY, LYN IS ATTACKED

DO HER AND HER BEAUTIFUL HAIR SURVIVE?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

HF Makalov Fanboy Kai · February 24, 2015

"some to gold off the pegs"

yes, steal that gold, become the richest man in marky town!

screenshot TheMoniker plays all of Markyjoe's crap(ALIVE ONCE MORE)

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