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TheMoniker struggles through GhebFE


TheMoniker
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Today, I'm doing something I never would have done if not for peer pressure...

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GHEBFE!

Okay, so, essentially, after FE8 came out in the US, some guy looked at it and said, "wow, this Gheb guy is cool". He went on the internet and found others who shared the same opinion. When they finally found enough people, they all said "let's all build a shrine to our lord and savior!"(Gheb was not originally regarded as a Savior, but the more followers Gheb has, the more convinced people became of his nonexistent beauty). So, they all snuck naked into the deep Canadian woods, and constructed a giant wooden shrine in the shape of Gheb. They were all convinced that if lightning struck it, it would come to life as a REAL GHEB. Finally, a thunderstorm came, and the shrine was hit by lightning... but all it did was catch fire and burn to the ground, because it was just shaped wood. And so, they all headed home and decided it would be easier to make this hack instead.

Literally none of that was true, because I have no idea what the actual history of this hack is. It was made way before I joined these forums, like before 2010 even. This hack is positively ANCIENT by hack standards. I'm shocked the download is still working, but whatever.

Normally I'd link you to it, but you know what? If for some reason you want to play this, you can find it yourself. I don't want to be a part of propagating this hack's legacy... more than I already am by doing this, at least.e

Anyways. This is a blind LP, as I know little to nothing about the hack. So, let's get started!

PRELUDE TO GHEBFE:

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You know, I'm almost surprised the patch worked fine. I think Malakov told me it had a crazy complicated patching thing, but all it was was a .ups.

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This dialogue is pretty much all you need to know about the rest of the text. I'll be showing it all anyway, of course. While I wouldn't mind either of these modes...

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I've received requests for this mode. Since peer pressure has already forced me into this position, why not let it force me to make things even worse?

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The Fall of Renais = The Rise of Gheb, apparently.

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Were they GHEB CLONES?

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TITLE DROP! Or at least, it would be if this was actually FE8...

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And now the text changes really begin.

N: In the beginning, the universe was empty, and so God remarked “Why all I see here is an empty void. Imagine the possibilities that lie in this space.” And thus decided to

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There's a lot of text skips and bad speech bubble design(cutting stuff off mid-sentence). I'll do what I can with it, but I might not be able to get ALL the dialogue.

N: creating universes is

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Oh, and let's not forget the typos!

N: After many attempts,

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I think I see where this is going.

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N: being mortals and all.

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I'm fairly certain that out of those 3 adjectives, 0 are true.

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Enter the titular character...

N: He used his schmexy man legs to create the very universe we live on now.

Of COURSE he did.

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N: but we know that impossible rite?

(I'm rooting for the challenger!)

N: Gheb, being of great wisdom, decides that he is bored, and he will face this menace as a man. Why does he do this? You ask.

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And so, despite Gheb's awesome power, we won't get to see or use any of it in gameplay.

Absolutely none of it at all.

Maybe.

N: So now, he has allowed you, to take control of his projection, and experience the schmexyness. And so it goes…

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And then it cycles through all the map events without changing the dialogue. Here's something you need to know; you know how I said earlier that this hack was made before 2010? Yeah, this was made when hacking was basically starting, or at least, it was compared to today. As such, all the events are left in, and it's gonna be kinda weird. It also means that you shouldn't expect too much out of this hack in the way of custom stuff.

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The portraits are the same, with two exceptions...

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Oh, oh wow. Maybe it's because I'm seeing it on a bigger screen, but those grey zombie/demon soldiers... actually look really cool!

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Sacred Stones Title Cards!

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This is apparently the "castle of the Gheb worshippers" or something.

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...A bard?

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Ah, there's our main character, and our challenger! Remember, according to gamefaqs, Gleb was actually the guy you killed in that one Ephraim route chapter. Not Gheb.

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Gheb's dialogue = summed up. He pretty much speaks almost entirely in textspeak, as far as I can tell. The other characters at least tend to be a bit more sane.

Pirate guy: *blah blah text skip* with his peerless swordplay?

Gheb: No, I shall eat the bug myself. I shall enlight him in the true way of PWN.

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He just told you! Stay back and let him handle this!

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Gheb: *text skips* what this Gleb is!

Pirate guy: Allright…

Gheb: …

Pirate guy: …

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What was that about?

Gheb: …

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Gheb: Yeees…?

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So, if you didn't notice, Seth has been replaced with Amelia. Yeah. And Amelia is surprisingly okay with it, which doesn't help at all.

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Gheb: You WILL get PWNED; …badly…

Amelia: Ugh! I’m no loli, and I’ll not get pwned! I’ll show you, boss!

Gheb: Okay, I’ll let you have fun, gurly, on 1 condition,

Amelia: What is it?

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*Puts head in hands*

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Gheb: Ya herd me, gurlee!

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Oh how I wish...

Gheb: Then take me outside, NAO!!

Amelia: Eek!! Yes sir…

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WHAT!? WHY!?

I ALREADY HAVE CANCER.

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Amelia/Gheb leaves, and then enemies start flooding the castle!

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Led by... Eirika and Ephraim!? Well, I guess it was to be expected...

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These poor generals, they're doomed...

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Ah, so, it looks like some of the original heroes from FE8 are opposing Gheb...

(Now what I have to wonder is... where's Saleh in all this?)

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We've escaped the castle, and we apparently brought a pegasus with us...

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This is so awkward... what am I even supposed to say here!?

Amelia: *pants* Thank you, Boss.

Gheb: Now where is the lowly douchebag!!?

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The peg flies away. I'm guessing we'll see it later.

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Hey! I wonder what's happened to Valter?

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He's... still Valter. Of course.

Gheb: Valter, you fukken traitor, what are you doin?

Valter: *something about Gleb* ordered us to take you to him.

Gheb: Lol, huh?

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Wait, Amelia! Stop! Can you at least let Gheb be the victim of the scripted battle!?

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Yeah, a text skip... Maybe the scripted battle will be changed!?

Gheb: LOL

Amelia: Y-YARLY!(translation: Yeah, really!)

Valter: Well, then!

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Nope. Pity, because she honestly should've won that fight. I'm guessing Valter will be tougher when we actually face him.

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WOW GHEB, WAIT TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR MINIONS

Gheb: I told ya, gurlee!

Amelia: Now what?

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Gheb: Loli, take me away!

Amelia: *sighs* Ugh!

Gheb: Wheeee!

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Gheb just sorta... leaves... He's not giving off the impression of being awesome, honestly.

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Valter: Where are they going now?! And how can that whore carry that turd Gheb on her back like that! Ah, to hell with them! I’m done chasing, I-

And then it just cuts him off.

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This was intended to be funny, but my interpretation is that Gheb's just that wimpy.

Gheb: Hmm, where’s my trusty axe?

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Amelia: *pants* yes, here you go…

She had an axe on her too!?

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Rapier... Raep... Her...

It's not that I don't get it. It's that it's not funny.

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And here we have the bandits! Looks like they got class changes...

Heroic bandit: Stop, sinners!

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END DIALOGUE

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It only took 75 images, but we're to the actual gameplay! As we can see, we now have "Posse Phase". Let's look at the stats!

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For being allegedly the awesome lord of blah blah, he sucks. Really bad. I mean, seriously! I'll talk more about him when we see his growths. For now, at least he has good CON... Rescuebot 4ever...

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Crumpets!

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...??!?!

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...Of course.

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(That description... *shudder*)

I'm not sure if she's supposed to be a crutch character or not... only time will tell, I guess. And the growths. At least she has a 1-2 range weapon.

Also, all these guys have more stats than normal FE8. Is this hack going to have massive inflation?

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THIS SOLDIER

Seriously, this guy is SUPER TOUGH.

The other soldier, though...

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We seem to have a slight power discrepancy.

Just... just a little.

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I imagine Valter sent this guy after us? How hard can he be to beat?

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Oh hey, I wonder what this option does...

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Oh, it's just the tutorials! They ALL seem to be altered, and I kinda want to check them out...

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Hey, here's an idea! What if every update, I give you all a helpful instructional tutorial. Today's tutorial describes the new designations for the various sides.

NEXT TIME: GhebFE REALLY begins, and my sanity begins to end.

GROWTHS:

Gheb:

HP: 120%

Strength: 90%

Skill: 35%

Speed: 20%

Luck: 45%

Defense: 40%

Resistance: 20%

Total: 370%

Yeah, this is definitely a bit lopsided. Extreme HP(but it's gonna hit 60 eventually...), fantastic strength... but everything else is average at best. And that speed's going to get him murdered, I just know it! Let's hope he turns out well, since he's the main lord and all...

Amelia:

HP: 70%

Strength: 40%

Skill: 55%

Speed: 50%

Luck: 40%

Defense: 30%

Resistance: 25%

Total: 310%

Her growths honestly seem more in line with a standard FE7 character. I'll wait and see some other characters before deciding if she's worth using...

(He class designation is Recruit(2), so I think she's the Tier 1 prepromote, not the Tier 0 one.)

Edited by TheMoniker
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wow they...just wow

for its time, this shit seems pretty advanced, and the whole "ride her " bit was there probably because changing FE8 events like that is a absolute bitch so they had to come up with something.

however for it to be those types of jokes....wow

anyway following because I also heard about this game but it was before my time as well.

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Crass humor and extreme immaturity of the content within, GhebFE was made in the way early days of hacking GBA games. I think it was done after Attack of the Morphs for FE7, or sometime around that era. Yeah, it was made by this guy. One of the first hacks for the GBA games that actually changed content for the entirety of the game but done in an era where eventing was a nightmarish bitch to handle.

The veteran hackers who have been here would be better able to tell you how difficult this was to do based on the limitations back then. On to the gameplay, it's actually quite annoying in difficulty at times, and some characters are clearly inferior to others. On the plus side there are a few "novel" classes and character differences in the route split, Tower of Valni and Lagdou Ruins are even harder than before but you do get the benefit of some Tier 3s, namely Gheb and Glass off the top of my head.

Think of this hack as a past AU of Klok's FE7 Chaos mode thoroughly excommunicated from the family yet miraculously managing to grow to completion despite the hardships faced when it came to developing.

Basically Klok's is made in mind with more fun game-play and few tweaks in mind, but developed in an era with a plethora of tools to achieve such a purpose whereas GHebFe is made in an era of crass stupidity for mindless fun but with enormous difficulties to face if you wanted to stray from the vanilla experience.

I'm pretty sure that this hack doesn't have custom animations, but it's sequel does, then again my memory is shoddy since I last played this when I was in my young highschool years.

Edited by CorruptDruid
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OH BOY EVERYONE I HAPPEN TO BE EXPERT ON THIS SUBJECT

first off that one text skip earlier on was about "man why can't glass pwn him with his peerless skills " Glass takes the place of Ephraim.

second off, this game is very unfair, you see that mooving lance in gheb's inventory called the Nanbue river?

that has a "use" effect on it as well as a luna effect, so it pierces defense , when you "use" this weapon it DROPS A MINE.

the game does NOT tell you this and this is pretty much the only way to beat the prologe, sorry for spoiling but otherwise this would be a short playtho.

i told ya i didn't want him to do this game, but you allllllllllll just had to vote, good thing i'm here to save all of you.

EDIT: OH IT WAS A UPS, HE MADE ONE OF THAT? IT WAS SOMETHING COMPTELEY DIFFERENT BACK THEN

also when i did play this i did bring Amelia to the end game, so she is viable.

Edited by HF Makalov Fanboy Kai
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Think of this hack as a past AU of Klok's FE7 Chaos mode thoroughly excommunicated from the family yet miraculously managing to grow to completion despite the hardships faced when it came to developing.

Basically Klok's is made in mind with more fun game-play and few tweaks in mind, but developed in an era with a plethora of tools to achieve such a purpose whereas GHebFe is made in an era of crass stupidity for mindless fun but with enormous difficulties to face if you wanted to stray from the vanilla experience.

Please, don't compare FE7CM to GHebFE. I made a few text swaps, but nothing like what GhebFE did. Literally the only thing linking our two games is that they're "difficulty hacks", while also maybe sharing a curse word or two. Everything else is completely different, and it's a tad insulting because I spent years deriding its very existence :P

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... I always knew it was trash, but this is another level of awfulness. Something tells me you're gonna suffer in the hack's terrible sense of humour. I wonder would it get AO were it released in retail.

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I really don't get this sense of humor at all... it's just abysmal. Like nails on a chalkboard for me. I don't even know how a teenager or young child would find it funny.

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just remember everyone that voted yes, don't call it a grave, its the future you chose, thankfully i'm here to make it doable, and to explain the backstory of all the "jokes" and the hack's background, which i will do after Monkier posts the prologue stuff.

FIFY. Seriously though, It'll be good to have someone around who can make sence of this.

Ugh reading this makes me want to play through Sacred Stones just to stab Gheb in the face. Seriously, the weapon names made me actually facedesk.

Moniker, hopefully you can help further make this hack into an example of how NOT to write for a hack.

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FIFY. Seriously though, It'll be good to have someone around who can make sence of this.

Ugh reading this makes me want to play through Sacred Stones just to stab Gheb in the face. Seriously, the weapon names made me actually facedesk.

Moniker, hopefully you can help further make this hack into an example of how NOT to write for a hack.

thank you for correcting me on that

but yeah i have played this and ALMOST beat it, but my save file was corrupted when i got to the final chapter.

i was almost on gamefaqs for when this whole fad happen, so there's also that

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