Phoenix Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 (edited) BATTLE OF THE MINDS... Brought to you by Phoenix On today's episode, some very interesting characters from other universes will be debating about problems we have here today. On one side of each argument, will be a team with five members. Here are the teams for today's episode. TEAM KILL Cao Pi from Dynasty Warriors Zhen ji from Dynasty Warriors Sonic the Hedgehog from the Sonic the Hedgehog series Vader's Secret Apprentice from Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (I know his real name but f*ck it) White Glint from Armored Core for Answer TEAM OVERKILL Darth Revan from Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic Darth Vader from Star Wars Solid Snake from Metal Gear series Metal Gear Rex from Metal Gear series Imperial II Class Star Destroyer from Star Wars Now with the teams all picked out, let me bring up the first of today's three issues... The Wars in Iraq and in Afganland! Your thoughts team kill? Cao Pi: Well obviously wars break out. I don't see any big deal here. Phoenix: But the war is costing American troops their lives. Cao Pi: I suppose these things do happen... Phoenix: THAT'S IT?!!! Sheesh... team overkill? Darth Vader: To win the war against the rebels, you must show them your true power! Deploy the fleet, so that NOTHING get's off the system! Phoenix: What? Solid Snake: This war is just a ruse. The Patriots are in control of everything! They want to take all of the oil in the middle east and use it to fuel their evil agenda, the perfect set up... Patriot: Actually we just want to take over the middle east so that we can monopolize the oil. Buying it isn't good enough. We want to own it, and everything else for that matter. Solid Snake: Yooou BASTARDS... Phoenix: Uh... team kill? Any new comments? Sonic: Yeah I got one! Where are the chili cheese dogs? Phoenix: (Crap) Uh... Sonic: You're guy said they'd be serving chili cheese dogs! Phoenix: Well he obviously lied, but don't you have any insight for us? Sonic: I'm a hedgehog, whaddya want from me? Darth Vader: You have failed Phoenix for the last time, Hedgehog... *Vader holds up Sonic in a devastating force choke* Phoenix: Oh no... (How are we going to know when he's dying? He's already blue...) Grand Moff Tarkan: Vader, enough of this, release him! Darth Vader: As you wish... *Vader let's go of Sonic and he falls to the ground unconscious* Cao Pi: Perhaps the key to winning the war is overwhelming force, as Lord Vader suggested. Phoenix: Why's that? Cao Pi: When fighting a war someone on your side, mainly civilians are always going to be somewhat unhappy with you. That is the way of things. Simply run your military and to hell with public opinion. Use whatever means are available to you and crush your foes. Phoenix: This isn't a dynasty. The military is partially controlled by congress. Cao Pi: What is congress again? Phoenix: Well right now congress is a bunch of democrats... Cao Pi: Oh... well then you're pretty much screwed. Phoenix: Team overkill? Any last thoughts? Metal Gear Rex: *screeeeeeetch* Phoenix: Hm... I see, very good point, Rex. Very interesting ideas and approaches to winning these wars. Now another issue that is somewhat on the same note... What to do about Terrorists? Your thoughts team overkill? Darth Sidious: Wipe them out... all of them... Phoenix: Sidious... your not supposed to be in this episode, get outta here! Darth Sidious: No one commands me! Phoenix: GET THE F*CK OUTTA HERE!!! RIGHT NOOOW!!! *The Emperor runs away* Phoenix: Thoughts? Darth Revan: I have a sound strategy. The terrorists will fall... Darth Vader: Yes. General Veers, prepare your men! Darth Revan: Lord Vader, I don't need your help here. Darth Vader: What? Darth Revan: I can handle the terrorists on my own. Darth Vader: B-but... I... oooh... *sniff* Darth Revan: Tell the Star Destroyer to move into position! The Apprentice: Not so fast! ARGH!!! Phoenix: ... ... ... Darth Vader: ... ... ... Darth Revan: ... what a douche bag... The Apprentice: All thanks to Vader's training! Darth Vader: *gasp* Uh-uh I don't know him... Zhen Ji: Hm, that would be a good way to kill the terrorists. Phoenix: Here it comes. Zhen Ji: Drop a few of those things on them. They'll surrender or quit in no time. Darth Revan: But we have to know where they are first! You're not ALL looks are you? Zhen Ji: And what is that supposed to mean? Darth Revan: ARE... YOU... A... DUMBASS...? Zhen Ji: My goodness, you're rude! It was just a joke! Darth Revan: Whatever. Hey, call me up sometime, I'm one of the few Sith that actually uses his piece! And by the way, I'm not asian. ;) Zhen Ji: Cao Pi: Phoenix: Any REAL anti terror strategies? *White Glint points his guns at Phoenix* Phoenix: Hmmmm... another brute force tactic? *White Glint nods* Phoenix: Okay... how about team overkill? Darth Vader: With our Star Destroyer down, we must work together and bring order to the galaxy! Darth Revan: *sigh* Everybody wants a piece of me. Alright TinMan, let's do this. Darth Vader: General Veers, prepare your men! Phoenix: Full military deployment huh? Okay, any liberal views, or let's talk it outs? Zhen Ji: The last time I talked to a terrorist, he was very rude to me. Phoenix: How? Zhen Ji: He blew himself up right at the table and didn't even warn me! Phoenix: How did you survive?! Zhen Ji: I'm a Dynasty Warriors Woman. I've been shot with cannons, knocked off horses, shanked, stepped on, rammed, smacked, tackled, bludgeoned, whipped, and married over and over again. 50 pounds of TNT isn't going to faze me. Phoenix: Okay, well I have a strategy now. Send the Dynasty Warriors after them. This plan WON'T fail. Zhen Ji: By the way, Revan, what was your number? Darth Revan: 555-1169 Phoenix: :o For the last issue... Discuss the health care crisis... or your own personal bs, which ever... Darth Revan: What's health care? Phoenix: Right now? Necessary. Darth Revan: Why? Are people sick? Phoenix: Probably. Darth Revan: Don't you Chinese people have some herbal remedies that cure any disease or something like that? Cao Pi: Lord Revan, we're from the Three Kingdoms era. Back then if you lived to be fourty five the Gods liked you. Darth Revan: Where does that stereotype come from then? Cao Pi: Captain: Sir! The Star Destroyer is up and running again! We're rising back into the sky! Darth Revan: Oh thank God! Vader, I don't need you anymore. Darth Vader: ;_; The Apprentice: I'm on it, my master! Phoenix: Uh oh... Phoenix: ... ... ... Darth Vader: ... ... ... Darth Revan: ... douche bag... Phoenix: So what would any of you do to solve the problem? Darth Revan: I personally would get rid of this congress and impose my will upon the people. Phoenix: That would be one EPIC FAIL right there. Darth Revan: I'm Revan, everything I do is epic. Remember when I took my mask off? How slow the camera was moving. Remember when I turned out to be a chick in that alternate story line? I'm just simply epic. Here, check out my epicness with your own eyes. Darth Revan: EPIC... Cao Pi: Meh. Phoenix: White Glint: I WIN. Phoenix: So about health care? White Glint: Pray... for answer... Phoenix: *sigh* Dammit... Well we're out of time folks. We didn't really accomplish anything here, but I hope our guests had fun. Maybe some of them will be back next time on Battle of the Minds. Til next time... Darth Revan: HEY HOLD ON!!! Did you guys see the two numbers at the end of my cell number? It said 69! Man I'm awesome Edited September 25, 2009 by Phoenix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 SOMEBODY LIKES GLINT A LITTLE TOO MUCH. And Snake kills them all. Believe it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pride Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Zhen-Ji and Team Overkill all the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defeatist Elitist Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Guess what I chose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted September 26, 2009 Author Share Posted September 26, 2009 Guess what I chose? What did you choose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emeraldfox Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Guess what I chose? What did you choose? I bet he picked Cao Pi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 He chose Revan. There's even a "Check Vote" option. lulz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emeraldfox Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Oh, well.. I don't pay attention to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 It's only cheating if you get caught. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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