Silent on the run

[Silent_Assasin]

Credit to Eclipse for the name.

Here goes my first documented run. Probable not going to be very good and it takes forever to type because I'm on a ipod.

Chapter 1

Marth

Lv 6.27

Hp22

Str7

Skl4

Spd10

Lck10

Def8

Res0

Frey

Lv6.51

Hp22

Str9

Skl11

Spd8

Lck5

Def8

Res0

Ceada Base

The prologue went smooth, Marth and Frey emerged as the start of my army.

Alright to begin.

Marth saw a white spec quickly approaching, twards the small fort which had sheltered his small band of troops for 3 years. Marth then noticed that it was Ceada. She had I'll news of pirate attacking the palace ( you all know what Ceada says to Marth befor the chapter start so I won't say anymore.)

Marth and his small army stepped out of the fort and saw many foes. Frey emediatly charged the theif who had destroyed the village that was home to the only girlfriend he had ever had. He threw his javelin into the thiefs face and he it died. Norne who had become very fond of Draug charged the front lines. She reached for a arrow but found that she left them in the fort. Draug steped in front of a lethal strike and died in front of his loved one. Norne list the will to live and jumped of a cliff.

Marth and Frey were furious, they charged the pirates who killed their own squad mates. Marth then said " let us avenge their deaths!" While Ceada just flew the other direction. Marth then stabbed a pirate in the stomach, then slashed another on the face. Frey put his lance into the faces of many opponents. His lance broke and he grabbed another off his back. Marth glanced back and saw Ceada flying into an invisible force feild at the edge of the island. He then visited a village. A man named wrys gave him a staff and suicided into a pirate. Frey killed the remaning pirates. And threw his javelin into the face of Gazzac ( not sure on spelling) and killedhim. Marth's band of troops was victorious.

Nothing special to report. But Norne and Draug got swarmed and Ceada killed a whopping 0.

Well for my first is it O.K.? :/

Edited October 1, 2010 by Silent_Assasin

[Parrhesia]

Credit to Lemmings for the name.

Gazzac ( not sure on spelling)

...Her name is eclipse. She was (presumably) mentioning the game series, as it is essentially a bunch of green-haired blue-clothed misfits attempting to conquer the world.

How can you be unsure of the spelling? Didn't you just...y'know, beat the chapter?

As for a critique, I don't really know what its trying to do. Is it comedic? Is it serious? Well, presumably not the latter, if you're referencing 'invisible forcefields' and the mysterious giving a staff before suiciding... If it's the former, it wasn't...really that comedic.

Also, use code tags for stats.

[/cod e]Just those, without the space.

Edited October 1, 2010 by Furetchen

[CT075]

Could you do something to separate the playlog from the story?

Hint: There are three ways blatantly advertised in this post.

[eclipse]

...Her name is eclipse. She was (presumably) mentioning the game series, as it is essentially a bunch of green-haired blue-clothed misfits attempting to conquer the world.

That's about a third of it. Here's the other two-thirds that's missing:

1. The green-haired Lemmings will walk in a straight line until you tell them to do otherwise. They can take some flack, but drop them off a cliff too high, or have them walk into water, and they die. Give them the proper orders, and they can do things like bash through solid rock or survive an impossibly long fall. Even their suicide move is useful, as it destroys some of the surrounding terrain. They must work together to reach the end of the map, and some may have to be sacrificed in order to do so. They're also adorable.

2. The real inspiration of the title: This

Several things. . .

1. Are you going for serious, Skittles funny, Furet-style funny, Integrity-style funny, or something else altogether? This is the what determines how the story flows. If you really want to see screwy ways of getting rid of units, go find the Meddling Kids run, where no one died, according to the story.

2. Spelling and grammar are really important in stories. If at all possible, try to type your story out on a proper keyboard (it's faster, and you're less likely to make grammar/spelling errors).

3. Do you have an idea as to how your story will flow? You don't have to be chapter-specific yet (as you're only on Chapter 1!), but you'll want a general idea of the beginning (where Marth meets everyone), middle (where the political side of the story shines), and end (the true purpose of Marth's journey).

4. If you need help with code formatting, check out any of the first three draft tourney threads, and hit Reply to someone who has a nice code box. Copy the box, then paste it in something like Notepad, then modify it as you need to.

5. Whatever you do, have fun!

I'm a little bummed you couldn't do anything about the Prologue. There's a lot of opportunity to be creative with it!

[Parrhesia]

The green-haired Lemmings will walk in a straight line until you tell them to do otherwise. They can take some flack, but drop them off a cliff too high, or have them walk into water, and they die. Give them the proper orders, and they can do things like bash through solid rock or survive an impossibly long fall. Even their suicide move is useful, as it destroys some of the surrounding terrain. They must work together to reach the end of the map, and some may have to be sacrificed in order to do so. They're also adorable.

Furet-style funny

Had that game on the class computer back in early primary school. Good times.

Or as I call it, darkly comedic steelpunk.

Edited October 1, 2010 by Furetchen

[Silent_Assasin]

Well I don't know if it's funny or not. I asked on a different thread and got no replies. I can't type on a keyboard ,and I know spelling is a issue. But it's very hard to correct it after I post it. So maybe I'll go over it before I post. Why should I use a code box when the way I did it looks better. ( to me). When I said lemmings I wasn't thinking.

Should I restart and do a "Knights of the Round Table run"? If not funny or serious?

Thanks for getting my spirits down. :(

[Silent_Assasin]

...Her name is eclipse. She was (presumably) mentioning the game series, as it is essentially a bunch of green-haired blue-clothed misfits attempting to conquer the world.

How can you be unsure of the spelling? Didn't you just...y'know, beat the chapter?

As for a critique, I don't really know what its trying to do. Is it comedic? Is it serious? Well, presumably not the latter, if you're referencing 'invisible forcefields' and the mysterious giving a staff before suiciding... If it's the former, it wasn't...really that comedic.

Also, use code tags for stats.

[/cod e]Just those, without the space.

The force field was the edge of the map and it was supposed to mean that ceada was throng to run away but couldn't and she was being chicken.

[Parrhesia]

So maybe I'll go over it before I post.

Please do.

Why should I use a code box when the way I did it looks better. ( to me).

It's a waste of space, and looks untidy and makes a LOT harder to compare stats.

When I said lemmings I wasn't thinking.

Thinking is always good.

Should I restart and do a "Knights of the Round Table run"? If not funny or serious?

Dunno. Given that you've just run through X amount of chapters (granted, on easy mode)...

Thanks for getting my spirits down. :(

It's constructive criticism. Deal with it.

The force field was the edge of the map and it was supposed to mean that ceada was throng to run away but couldn't and she was being chicken.

That's irrelevant. My point stands.

[eclipse]

Well I don't know if it's funny or not. I asked on a different thread and got no replies. I can't type on a keyboard ,and I know spelling is a issue. But it's very hard to correct it after I post it. So maybe I'll go over it before I post. Why should I use a code box when the way I did it looks better. ( to me). When I said lemmings I wasn't thinking.

Should I restart and do a "Knights of the Round Table run"? If not funny or serious?

Thanks for getting my spirits down. :(

I think Furet's trying to help.

Are you a serious or funny person IRL? It's easier to write something that reflects who you are. Apparently, people IRL think I'm kinda clueless and funny; thus, the first two runs. Since this is your first run, write something that you enjoy writing.

If you hit "Edit" below your post, you can do things like fix spelling errors, add stuff, etc.

The code box is for formatting purposes, and for the sake of those reading it.

Now, if you wanted to write Caeda being kept in by a force field, and wanted something funny. . .here's a (lame) example.

"Sorry sweetcakes, but this is far too much effort for me!" Caeda yelled to no one in particular. She gave her steed a fine kick in the ribs, which sent it soaring straight into something solid yet invisible.

"Hey, I don't remember asking Father to put this thing up! I'm gonna go back to the castle with Marth and whine until I get my way!" Several pirates learned on that fateful day that getting in the way of a spoiled princess was a bad idea.

"Invisible force fields" and "serious" don't mix.

[Parrhesia]

_{We could make a Hollywood police interview team.}

Yeah, and if you wanted serious, you'd ditch the forcefield and write something like;

Caeda had never fought before. Oh, she'd trained, that was certain...dozens of quintains had been skewered by her lance in the drills. But this was far from a drill. The pirates were desperate men, using desperate measures to win desperate fights.

Caeda gasped suddenly. A flash of red from below...and Cain, the knight of Altea who had loyally followed his prince, grunted as he was pulled off his mount. Instantly, three of the thugs fell upon him and began carving the unfortunate knight to pieces. The aristocrat was overcome by fear, and turned to flee...

No. She couldn't abandon Marth now, not in such a time of great need. No, she would stay. She would fight. She would show the fools how a noble fights.

Or something to that effect.

[Silent_Assasin]

Alright. I'm going to do a "Knights of the Round Table" run.

It's going to be funny, I'll try to use code boxes. Even though I can't see past the mag on the list.

My spirits are back up, thanks guys and girls.

[eclipse]

That's what we're here for~! :)

I'll be happy to throw my two cents in, no matter what. Dunno how much money Serious Officer Furet thinks you're worth.

[Parrhesia]

Approximately .65 of a pint of Guinness. Slightly better than the average person.

[Silent_Assasin]

Approximately .65 of a pint of Guinness. Slightly better than the average person.

Kinda a weird way to put it, but thanks!