Dwarf Fortress Succession Game

[#!/dev/haru]

Journal of Axe Lord Harudoku, the Champion of the Gears of Disembowelment

26 Obsidian, 374

Almost out of ink and paper, I'm sure the fortress has some stock of the stuff. I've been sent out to yet another small, struggling fortress to cut out a swathe of success and glory. While I plan to distance myself from the actual work for now, maybe someday I will rejoin the glorious ranks of the dwarven army and expand my legend. But I would need to find a damn good fortress for that, and I don't know if any of the downtrodden shit-holes I get sent to (to fix, of course) will ever count.

27 Obsidian, 374

The previous leader was clearly insane. He seems to have built some moronic monument. At first I thought it was some sort of magma temple as you see many overconfident idiots build, but after asking around I realized that it was meant to be... a jail cell. What kind of resource waste is that? Perfectly good magma pipe, and you're using it to house... A DWARF. We should be working together to fuck the rest of the world, not fucking ourselves. This regime must end.

28 Obsidian, 374

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but let's see EITHER of them stand up to my axe. The fortress is all but subjugated, and I'm going to take some time to look around and note what all is going on. I'm going to situate some better military training, and hell if we aren't going to fix the ABSOLUTE LACK OF INFORMATION problem we seem to have around here. That's it, I'm assigning "his majesty" Iced to be the new bookkeeper. Military commander be damned, he's not worth the 1300☼ they pay him. I'm requesting a pay dock. And where is the GODDAMNED beer?

1 Granite, 374

This will be my last entry for a while. I've made a report of the state of the fortress as of my entry.

First off, ALL of the soldiers were apparently being ordered by the draconian 'Iced' to train, without food, water, or sleep, over the jail cell of this ValaxRevan. I fixed that, and have created a new system for training the soldiers.

We've ramped up the production of barrels in spite of the STINGING lack of beer and the overproduction of wood. I know we should be actively trying to piss off the elves, but god DAMN there is a lot of it down here.

Here's another picture, so you get a better idea of this dwarf's madness.

On that note, there's also an ENORMOUS surplus of farmland. We'll never be using all of that.

See that guy in the murky pool? Yeah? How the hell did he get in there? Hell if I'll ever know. I had to order him dug out of the fucking tomb, and all he could tell me was "I told them to stop, I told them to stop, but they built the roof over me anyway..." I suspect foul play. I do not trust this "Iced".

I freed ValaXRevan, and ordered him to forge himself a new pick to mine with. This fortress had ONE miner. ONE! How am I expected to carve a swathe of paradise without any carvers?!

Last, the sleeping quarters are cramped by rocks and highly inefficient. With some work, I think I can fix this.

This concludes my first report. May the ale always flow!

17 Granite, 374

Don't worry, we have beer now!

2 Slate, 374

The monument to Iced's horrible leadership had to go. I decided that I MIGHT AS WELL make some more room for more efficient magma forge locations while I was at it.

All was going well, but then I realized from the headcount of the recently-assigned bookkeeper (ha!) that someone was trapped down there.

Thinking quickly, I had our miner dwarves start to dig passages around him, in an attempt to make some floors so that he could simply walk out.

It was too late for that.

I then realized that I could come in from under, and looking over the plans, I realized that there was an unused staircase top that could quickly (and efficiently) be utilized to bring the man to safety.

It was a success.

...Barely.

This concludes my second report. Strike the earth, brothers.

Edited February 22, 2011 by Shu Shirakawa

[#!/dev/haru]

1 Hematite, 374

Iced is mad.

While it gives me some pleasure to see such a person distraught, it is not good for the fortress, and I am not a vengeful woman. I shall work towards fixing this.

Meanwhile, an Elven Caravan has arrived! Many dwarves abhor the elves, but I hear the complaints of my brethren; our ale is too samey. The only crop we produce is Plump Helmet, and lots of it, so we have no variety in our ale. For now, our best hope of alleviating that is trading with the elves. I see no point in bloodshed.

I trade away some useless trinkets for the much-needed alcoholic diversity.

19 Hematite, 374

The military found a goblin pedophile running around today.

He escaped, but not before we rammed a few well-placed -Steel Bolts- up his ass.

Recently, some Urist guy jumped up and claimed himself to be a noble. "I'm the mayor of this fortress, now go get me some tin! And fill my bedrooms with the finest in armor stands, cabinets, and weapon stands!"

It's all the restraint I have not to cleave his face in.

Hell if he's getting anything from me until some other things are done.

12 Malachite, 374

I've created a second squad, still not under my command. I've assigned both squads an adequate training area and am supporting some inter-squad competition (who can kill the most gorillas in a month?) to get them all trained up. The squads all now have adequate armor, weapons, shields, etc.

15 Malachite, 374

One of the recruits lost a leg trying to wrestle an alligator. I'm surprised he's not dead.

27 Galena, 374

Just noting here that my efforts with Iced seem to have paid off. She seems to be doing well. I'm not going to let her rule the fortress for a while yet, though.

1 Limestone, 374

Dwarven Caravan's here.

I told the mayor to make the following deals:

Could've done better on the export agreement, but I don't have any control over that.

We also got a nice bow.

19 Sandstone, 374

Tragedy has struck.

Some asshole put rotting nervous tissue in our unventilated refuse room. The miasma quickly spread, and though I sent Nightmarre and Revan off to channel the roof so that it wouldn't affect the other dwarves, there was a major unfortunate accident when someone channeled the wrong section.

Both parties are badly injured, and though the chief medical dwarf assures me that Nightmarre will come out of it okay, things are looking bad for Revan.

4 Timber, 374

The waiting would be a lot easier if goblin pedophiles didn't keep blundering into our cages and forcing me to ramp up goddamn cage production.

27 Timber, 374

I finally realize what the gobbos were doing. They were trying to demoralize us for a later attack! Those bastards. I sent out a squad, and sure enough, there was a small ambush force.

I called upon my assistant, Hikarusa, and grabbed my Iron Axe and trusty (if a bit dated) set of armor. It was time to storm the battlefield again. May the goblins tremble in fear!!

28 Timber, 374

The battle is over. We lost one man, and the goblins lost one to death and four more to the cage traps. The remainder are fleeing. Godspeed to them, for if I had my way, this axe would be imbedded into their skulls. Perhaps the thought of that will keep them away...

19 Obsidian, 374

Where has the time gone? We've been ramping up production of everything that the medical system needs to treat the ailing pair in the medical bay, but it wasn't enough. Nightmarre came out unscathed, refusing surgery and returning to his mining duties in due time, despite heavy injuries. However... Revan succumbed to infection, due to the slow reaction time of the Chief Medical Dwarf. I would have him strung up, but I realize that our current situation doesn't lend to an easy time for medicine. We lack several key items required for the well-being of the sick.

I believe the goblin sieges kept our forces in a state of panic so long that our medical dwarves could not tend to his wounds. They will get their comeuppance.

31 Granite, 374

It's time for me to step down and let someone else lead. I've been here for my alotted year, and I've got to let some others try to carry the fortress to victory, as is my due. However, I've decided to stay with this fortress for the duration, as the leader of the Axe Trolls, my small squad of highly-trained (not really) killing machines. TO THE NEXT LEADER:

Six Golden Statues are being produced.

Please dump the five lowest-quality ones, and place the sixth on the lowest level of the fortress (where the coffins are).

This is the state of the fortress.

Save upload soon.

Edited February 23, 2011 by Shu Shirakawa

[Defeatist Elitist]

Honour me well brothers.