Fanfic Contest - Prize = Mystery

[Original Alear]

Nightmarre>Severian I have blue sharpness

<Severian>whoa

<Severian>nightmarre that's amazizng

<Severian>i love the color blue

<Nightmarre>Not as amazing as purple sharpness

<Severian>i disagree

<Anouleth>are you as sharp as one of those super-sharp katana

<Severian>kenshin's blade has blue sharpness

<Anouleth>you get in animay

<Severian>yes

<Nightmarre>Kenshin's blade sucks

<Severian>nightmarre you suck

<Anouleth>and you can cut through lesser baka gaijin blades

<Nightmarre>Compared to Alatreon Revolution

<Severian>oh ok

<Severian>as long as its "compared" i don't mind too much

<Nightmarre>Alatreon Revolution has purple sharpness

<Severian>whoa

<Nightmarre>Kenshin's blade is a BABY'S BLADE

<Nightmarre>LITTLE MAN'S BLADE

<Severian>but i don't have time to watch it right now

<Severian>lolol

<Nightmarre>IT BREAK AGAINST MY BODY

<Nightmarre>AND THEN I BREAK HIM

<Severian>lolol

<Nightmarre>BREAK HIM

<Severian>umm

<Nightmarre>BRREAAAAK HIIIM

<Severian>prove it

* Nightmarrebreaks him

<Severian>i want to see someone on SF make a nightmarre vs kenshin thing where he breaks kenshin

<Nightmarre>Go ask for it

<Nightmarre>Hurry

<Severian>the fight needs to be on terms i can understand

<Severian>ok

<Nightmarre>Make a topic now

<Nightmarre>Whoever writes the best fanfic wins

<Nightmarre>The prize is a mystery

<Severian>fanfic i want art but ok fine fanfic

I am the judge since I am the one proposing the contest.

Edited August 10, 2011 by Loki Laufeyjarson

[Erk]

if I write fanfic, there will be lemenz.

[Original Alear]

if I write fanfic, there will be lemenz.

Ok well go for it if you feel like it, just keep it to the rules if you don't want tangy to consider deleting it.

EDIT-By the way, for any still interested in submitting, you should consider that I am a huge Kenshin fan, so making it an easy win for nightmarre will likely not endear you. But if there's only one entry, I have no choice but to accept it as the victor.

Edited August 10, 2011 by Loki Laufeyjarson

[Aleph]

"You don't have to do this, that you don't." Bright red hair shining as it reflected the moon's own stolen light rustled steadily in the gentle breeze enveloping Nightmarre and his opponent.

"Kenshin: get at me": the powerful phrase was soft, yet stern as it rolled thickly across the swaying grass between them to Kenshin's ears. The lyrical voice hammered at Kenshin's composure and he tightened anxiously. The dance of light and shadow that coated the surface of the wall what was Nightmarre's surly person appeared to be ready to loom toward and crush Kenshin's very soul.

So Kenshin thought to himself, "I must make the first move. If I can't defeat him swiftly he will destroy me!"

Nightmarre lifted an eyebrow, a grimace wrapping his countenance, as he studied the empty area Kenshin had once stood. The fox had vanished.

No, he hadn't; he had simply moved to Nightmarre's back. Before Nightmarre's meteoric fist could twist with his body and into Kenshin's face, Kenshin's blade struck Nightmarre...dozens of times, all in an instant.

Nightmarre winced almost inaudibly; as he slid nearly a step from his stance he grunted in disapproval. Kenshin landed further away, sword sheathed, to study his work; when he realized it had only served to aggravate Nightmarre further he gasped in panic and stepped further back, hand trembling as it crawled back to his blade's hilt.

As Kenshin clenched his teeth with frustration he realized his vow not to kill could well be his undoing: while the offending side of his blade were smooth he could never injure Nightmarre within subduing him.

Nightmarre slowly walked toward the insolent adversary who had nudged him with such grace and force he might have been a boulder ready to marry Kenshin to the land.

Kenshin discarded his stance and looked sullenly at the ground, appalled at his decision of what to do next: his only chance to stop Nightmarre's treachery was to stop Nightmarre's life.

Kenshin would have to kill Nightmarre.

He now pointed his sword toward Nightmarre, the blade inverted and ready to strike...with the intent to sever Nightmarre and his tie to this world.

Nightmarre pounded his way toward Kenshin relentlessly, fully aware of his resolve. This puny man would not defy him.

Kenshin awaited Nightmarre's proximity, and the moment came for him to pierce Nightmarre's black soul and thick armor of flesh. He struck forward with blinding speed; it was as if Kenshin were only one of nearly a dozen men all assailing Nightmarre at once as the blade quickly made cut after cut deep into Nightmarre's skin...didn't it?

Quivering, drowning in sheer terror, Kenshin slowly raised his chin to view the phenomenon which had ceased his attack.

Nightmarre towered over him, sternly glaring into Kenshin's eyes as he tightly gripped the blade which had cut him.

Even as the blood dripped from Nightmarre's wounds, seemingly endless in depth; from his hand, awash in red and nearly covered from sight, he looked as invincible as he had.

Perhaps he really was.

Kenshin tried to open his mouth to let out a scream, but his mouth was filled with Nightmarre's other hand.

It grasped the entirety of Kenshin's face.

Then it removed it along with the rest of Kenshin's head.

The body provided little resistance to the detachment and Kenshin was dead in an instant, just another innocuous pile of flesh to clothe Nightmarre's damnable feet.

Edited August 11, 2011 by Obviam

[Original Alear]

When is this fanfic set in the kenshinverse?

[Aleph]

It is set during the Nightmarre arc, when Nightmarre appears and terrorizes all with his indefatigable might, assuming power where he wills with no chance of defeat.

Did you not see those episodes?

[Original Alear]

It is set during the Nightmarre arc, when Nightmarre appears and terrorizes all with his indefatigable might, assuming power where he wills with no chance of defeat.

Did you not see those episodes?

Nope. I need some actual episodes. Go by the wikipedia http://en.wikipedia....:_episodes_1-27

I own the series so I can vouch for its reliability. I haven't read the manga fully (supposedly the best part is the manga-only stuff) happens there, but I'm pretty sure there's no Nightmarre arc.

I need some actual episodes to determine how canon your fanfic is and judge it. As it stands your fanfic is hugely problematic. You could always just say that it's set prior to the assassination arc, but then you are pitting nightmarre against kenshin at his weakest so...ya, that doesn't make nightmarre look very good.

Edited August 11, 2011 by Loki Laufeyjarson

[Aleph]

It was after Kenshin died. When he arrived in Hell where those who betray their lovers go he was witness to the demon Nightmarre's ever present reign.

[Original Alear]

Obviam refuses to be compliant with the program.

"Kenshin: get at me"

Hextator has already used a Hex quote for Nightmarre. This is suitable given the self/other distinction collapse generally, but for a fanfic this simply makes Nightmare OOC to begin with and is somewhat disappointing.

So Kenshin thought to himself, "I must make the first move. If I can't defeat him swiftly he will destroy me!"

Hmm. This is already pretty out of character for Kenshin. For those who actually watched the series, remember the "swordsman's aura" of prediction and counter-prediction used within the series during the fight against seita. If he considers Nightmarre a deadly opponent whose aura is difficult to read, which he should if nightmare is so scary, then moving first against him so rapidly would be folly.

when he realized it had only served to aggravate Nightmarre further he gasped in panic and stepped further back, hand trembling as it crawled back to his blade's hilt.

Again, during the Shishio Saga we have Kenshin hit Shishio with that 9-strike attack. It only serves to activates Shishio's swordman's spirit, and Kenshin doesn't feel fear from this but only gets more intense.

As Kenshin clenched his teeth with frustration he realized his vow not to kill could well be his undoing: while the offending side of his blade were smooth he could never injure Nightmarre within subduing him.

A careful reading of the series shows that Kenshin already realized this at the end of the Shishio saga when he stated that "There is nothing more powerful than the will to live!" The vow not to kill was never something Kenshin saw as something that would not turn to his own undoing.

I don't actually have any objections to the writing style of the fanfic, which is good in terms of its writing style, I just think it could have been a little more faithful to Kenshin as a series and a character with a well-developed personality.

[Aleph]

You forget that Kenshin was damned to hell by the time this arc occurred! All he believed in has crumbled.

[Original Alear]

Hell isn't necessarily a place where all that you believe in crumbles. Hell is where you are punished for your misdeeds in a way you believe you are fit to be punsihed by them in catholicism, at least if you read Dante's Inferno. For example, I believe that as the ultimate traitor to humanity - I used my brain when it was in one of its most active states to wish for the end of humanity including myself - I will, if I find myself in hell, be punished in a matter worse than Judas or Satan for that matter. If I don't end up in Cocytus, however, I will probably be placed in Limbo, which is arguably just as bad a place due to the separation from god one feels on a regular basis.

If what you believed in crumbled, you would no longer be in hell because you believe in part in your surroundings. You yourself would stop existing, nullity would begin, and there would be no perceptions, feelings, senses, thoughts, experiences, or anything else. The great big pile of nothing would go away, and you would be left with not even a speck of nothing. Being and nothingness would stop intertwining, and there would be only nothingness. It would be something like absolute 0, a completely white or completely black space (rather than a combination of the two, or a grey space).

Kenshin would never be banished to hell. Since Shishio was sent to hell and sought to become king, Kenshin will be banished to heaven but will maintain a location as the lowest on the pecking order. He will still be in unity with god, however, so he won't be all that bad off compared to Shishio, who is top of the pecking order in the worst place while Kenshin is at the bottom of the best place.

Moreover, when did Kenshin betray his lover?

(the above is mostly westernization of heaven and hell applied to kenshin, i believe that as a result it is flawed).