nano Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Hilarious read so far. I rejoice in your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 My favorite unit so far is Ranmaru, when he's overcome with emotion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 ranmaru's a girl also this playthrough is amaze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) [spoiler=Session 5] How dare you come back with a /full shitting army/ And that monk has guard cancel. God I love muskets. We give 'em a good, hard hiding. Halfway through the Battle for Redwall, all the remaining actions are ours. Redwall, having lost their title city, asks for Muppet Panda to aid them. I'm in a three-front war now. Great. Nnnnnevermind. HOW DO YOU HAVE /MORE/ TROOPS NOW THAN WHEN I BEAT YOU THE FIRST TIME Fuck. This could be trouble. ... Well I wasn't expecting a total rout. Right, Redwall's down and the faction is weak. They get the ire of my B-Team for the time being. About 500 pikemen hold off the enemy. The town of Cornwall falls. I'm... a limited amount of scared. Ookubo must wonder what he's gotten himself into... Oneshot by Ranmaru... so much for elites. Nevertheless, the warrior proves strong opposition. He mauled Unkei. Even so, we take the hamlet of Streetwall. Oh no not Tutoria I can sponge up that loss. I tell ya, nothing is sexier than coughing up blood on your sleeves. Repeatedly. I will obliterate your puny kingdom. And when I do so and my army marches through the streets, you will be the first to die. This is it. The final siege on Hadrianwall. S.K. drops the soap. Reskinned Rance Attack clears out my front line. The losses are close to 600 from this attack alone. We... don't win. Also Rance was killed. And apparently you can't let him do that... a pity, really. So I somewhat more conservatively 'accept reinforcements' on my turn when I reload. Uruza is... sort of overpowered, apparently. I mean I thought GANKO was good but... I had to sack Scout Andy, but Suzume's just as good. Also had to sack Shit Bald Warrior. Again, think I made the right choice. My A-team gets assaulted by a threatening strike force, but behind these walls they don't pose much of a threat. TUTORIAL KING'S GON' FUCK YOU UP yeah i think we have this Psh, there's 325 of us, this'll be e- -asy. ... What? Nice pavises there. I swear that's the same bald Hara pike captain that fought for Tenshions as well... christ. He gets around. You can say that again, kid. Hm... my turn again, but I have an EXCELLENT and COURAGEOUS plan. IT'S ALL YOU, HACHI oh no i lost Now a little scout and- ... What. Edited January 24, 2013 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 ... What. yeah sorry bro the raccoon dog fight is scripted (unless you capture the subordinates) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 You have a surprising amount of commanders. Too many, maybe. Definitely more than you can properly support. The difference being that you are fighting three factions at the same point, which is something I comfortably avoided (by not declaring war on Iga, because they never declare war on you). Right now it might be better for you to leave two of the three factions you're fighting for what they are, and focus on eliminating one. Out of Iga, Asai-Asakura and Tokugawa, Asai-Asakura should be the easiest ones to take out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) So your solution to fighting a two-front war is to invade a third country that's slightly stronger than the All-Stars, which is in the middle of my territory. You'll forgive me if I say that's fucking stupid. Anyway, I have enough commanders to handle three even battles, and a couple spares to do things like construct. Suzume can scout. Unkei is the least useful man there, and even then he has guard cancel. Edited January 24, 2013 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 So your solution to fighting a two-front war is to invade a third country that's slightly stronger than the All-Stars, which is in the middle of my territory. You'll forgive me if I say that's fucking stupid. Anyway, I have enough commanders to handle three even battles, and a couple spares to do things like construct. Suzume can scout. Unkei is the least useful man there, and even then he has guard cancel. He's saying you should instead of fighting a three-front war concentrate on eliminating one at a time. Which is a sound strategy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 but i'm not fighting a three-front war why is he saying i'm fighting a three-front war Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solanum Tuberosum Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 misunderstandingsssss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 but i'm not fighting a three-front war why is he saying i'm fighting a three-front war I don't know. I can't even see any of the photos you're posting for some reason. SHRUG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) but i'm not fighting a three-front war why is he saying i'm fighting a three-front war because you said so in session 5. Oh nevermind I see what happened. Edited January 25, 2013 by Daigoji Excellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 FFS, the -maru ending is a dude's name. That's like naming a girl Johnson. I'm rooting for you, so keep it up, Furet~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 25, 2013 Author Share Posted January 25, 2013 That's... an unfortunate choice of words. But I appreciate the sentiment. God knows I'll need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 hey you'll have done better than me if you get more than 0 points at the end of the game also rance isn't the most despicable character in the game, you'll see what i mean later >_> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) FFS, the -maru ending is a dude's name. That's like naming a girl Johnson. That would be because many of the characters in the game are based off of historic characters in Japan, most of them males. Several of the females take these names, for some bizarre reason. For example, Kenshin Uesegi was a famed daimyou during the Senjoku jidai, and Isoroku Yamamoto was an Admiral of the Japanese navy in World War II. Although he was supposedly gay and very effeminate, right? So, uh...maybe she's actually a he. I know there was a way that you could get Katsuie to fall for Ranmaru and there was an ero-scene, but I don't recall if there was any kind of penetration. Huh. Edited January 25, 2013 by Esau of Isaac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Ranmaru has tits. Big ones. That's about all the scene has. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Okay I checked the CGs to be sure and I guess it's possible that she could be futa but that would require some unnecessary tucking. So. >__> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 25, 2013 Author Share Posted January 25, 2013 you know what would be great if people would stop reminding me how shit this game is Also Nazi Pope was arguably worse than Rance, but I'm holding out for a Top Five Finish for Rance regardless. Maybe third. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Uh, fine. . . GO FURET! THE GAMEPLAY WILL SEE YOU TO THE END! IF I CLAP ENOUGH, WILL YOU REVIVE? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Furetchen is so tsundere for Rance what a bro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 26, 2013 Author Share Posted January 26, 2013 That WAS a Top Five of Shittiest People In Feudal Japan. I can't really see any more -dere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 See first you're tsun tsun. But give it time and we'll crack open the hard Furetchen shell to find a gooey dere dere. ...That sounds vaguely sexual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ein Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Uh, fine. . . GO FURET! THE GAMEPLAY WILL SEE YOU TO THE END! IF I CLAP ENOUGH, WILL YOU REVIVE? Is the gameplay worth it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 [spoiler=Session 6] Okay, so it's been forever... but can you fucking blame me? Presenting Texas, in their natural state of Not At War With Me. I forget why I took this screenshot. The battle for Galatasaray starts anew. Their 255 ninjas... deal 29 casualties to Uruza. Think that lass is a keeper. I brought Unkei along to guard cancel |\ momo, but ... that wasn't really necessary. Unkei's... terminally shit. Anyway, I win the fight easily. This can only end well. (Actually, it kinda does. There don't seem to be any drawbacks.) The hannies march to war. KEIKAKU MEANS PLAN Next turn I assault the Allstars again. We have half the battle to just beat on Inukai. They assault my territory on their turn. Muskets get the first shot of the battle... Mutou doesn't enjoy it. Oh shit. WELL THEN MAY JUST HAVE TO CEDE SOME TERRITORY So this is Iga's final stand. They... appear to have settled on a certain theme. oh well shouldn't be too touAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ranmaru is the first of my men who gets the chance to act. We're... we're not feeling too great. Fortunately, we're losing SO HARD right now we've actually reached a sort of Failure Overflow, and a lot of their winning didn't count for anything. Except casualties. Massive, massive casualties. I manage a good fightback Do you feel like a winner, Inukai? I launch a follow-up assault... but they have enough reinforcements to beat it back. I guess it was a bit of a long shot... k that gamble did not pay off LOAD~ So I stall and impose a decent ~4k levy on some other province. Now I am rich. Woo! They attack the Oil Fields to no avail. (these screens are in a slightly confused order) Final battle for Galatasaray. Mercifully Ninja King doesn't let loose the 101 Dalmatians at me. Given how close we were to not-quite-a-rout, that was... the closest total victory I've ever had. Sadly, Inukai gets away again. If he takes Galatasaray back in anothe rcutscnene, I fuckin swear... Also I kind of want to crush HobbiTon. They have 6k dudes and 14 commanders. That's... kinda sorta pathetic. So I decide to crush HobbiTon. What strength? Your army is weak. Uh... huh. All the Hobbiton commanders are fucking geriatric. Or children. Hara Shouji's 'murder everything' skill is quite useful. Not even F. *Kyuuto can stand in our path. Kid, even the Saddle Club fought better than this, get your fucking act together. He starts crying, slitting his wrists and listening to shitty emo music. Then he summons some undead robots or sth Imareal Boy George the archer captain tries to kill the robot zombie and fails. She kills a bunch of dudes in a cutscene. And yet... WOW HOBBITON NOT EVEN YOUR UNSTOPPABLE CUTSCENE APOCALYPSE ACTUALLY SURVIVES GG wait, what how the fuck THEY TOOK THE FUCKING PROVINCE. WITHOUT A FIGHT Guess who's ceding more territory this turn~~~~~~ Minecraft is assaulted by barbarians. MAN IF ONLY THEY HAD ANY OTHER UNIT TYPE They're forced to surrender. I respect Mouri's priorities. But alas, Minecraft is no more. No comment. I have only contempt for Hobbiton as I prepare to lay waste to the Brockenborings. Not because I loaded a save, because I wouldn't do that. Rance corners the second vampire golem. Who explodes. We autolose somehow. See this is why I'm not all that scared of the enemy This, too. Paddlepop Man heads to the front lines to see how the vampire golems fight. He begs us not to defend ourselves. It doesn't work. Anyway, because he's in love with robots, he lets the last one go. They're out of cutscene wins. This shit is mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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