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The Douchebags Of Fire Emblem


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How come Shinon is on none of these lists? He is the King of Douchebags, but ya gotta love it xP

Heres some perfect Douchebags

Desmond (FE7)

Valter (FE8)

Caellach (FE8)

Black Knight (FE9/10)

Lekain (FE9/10)

Naesala (FE9/10)

Shinon (FE9/10)

Petrine (FE9)

Izuka (FE9/10)

Gangrel (FE13)

and every single bandit (FE)

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i couldn't remember who Excellus was. :(

so i googled him, and apparently it's implied in the game that he's an eunuch. that would very much explain why he has a girly voice and such

D:

Edited by Liz
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eirika and fe9 elincia for being totally useless pieces of shit

fe10 elincia though?

shit damn, dude, whoa, she a strong black independent african american self-relying black woman who dont need no man

also eine from fe12

and MU for being a dumbass

and marth, oh god fuck marth

lyn and eliwood are also pretty terrible, but i dunno if i'd say douchebags

maybe lyn, eliwood is just boring as hell and dumb

Edited by Stolypin Necktie
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Excellus for instence has strikingly long nails and screams like a gurl in the Japanese version and that he is downright embarrassing to look at. And he's a faggot.

The heck is wrong with you.

Ok that may not be a very kind reaction but being girly and 'a faggot' is by no means reasonings to add up to one's douchebagginess (if that is even a word). I don't disagree that Excellus' slimy, opportunist attitude is blatantly shameful and by the means he coerces people to work for him I can see what you think very well, but you could use some work expressing what you mean better.

Kannival is a douche cuz he says "Blast, I'm finished."

Isn't that like one of the only 2 lines the guy has (like most FE11 bosses). wat.

Hector says "Blast!" a bazzilion times, Tharja says "Damn and blast!" in her B support with Gaius.

Clearly they're complete douchebags too. :P

Tozeh is because he runs away at the first sight of danger.

Cowardliness isn't always comparative to douchebagginess, but knowing his character I understand why that would be the first thing one can point out.

These are the people in the series that completely embarrasses you and downright makes the part of the game very comical. Other reasons why you say they are douches or just plainly want to talk about. Discuss.

Comic relief through ridiculousness/cowardy doesn't really makes one a douchebag, you know...

I can see that you grasp the concept well enough but you don't really express it right and mixes it up with some people that aren't really douchebags, they're just 'puny', so to speak. Some of the people you point just don't have enough screentime to develop as a character to begin with, as well. I do agree with the ones that you get right, like Makalov, Kempf, Valtome, and Excellus.

One of the best representations I can find of plain douchebags is Shagaal (FE4) and Lang (FE3/12).

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and marth, oh god fuck marth

His sister ain't much better!

Marth busts his ass/arse saving Elice in FE11 and then in FE12 she pulls MU aside and is like, "My brother is a naive, idealistic moron!"

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Given the "pawns other people's stuff, usually only half-aware of what he's doing," I'm afraid I'd have to call Makalov a douchebag, but he's the loveable douchebag type, the best bro that it kills you inside to see fuck up so much. And to his credit, he actually kinda sorta cleans up his act a bit in and post-RD, at least compared to how shitty his life could have gone with the drinking and the gambling and the oy. Grade 3 or 4 out of 10 on the Izuka scale (a ten out of ten is equal to the square root of Izuka's douche power level)

Shinon, for another example, I'd call a high 5 or 6/10, abrasive as hell even to his closest known relations, loyal to not damn much and a racist, but I'd argue he stops just short of real acts of malevolence. He was with the Mercs in the first place because they were supposed to be the best of the best at their jobs. Putting Ike in charge, even figuratively, at the point in time that they did objectively looked like it was less than the optimal choice, at best (which would be bad enough given they're supposed to be the best, and now they're staking their name on somebody who has seen way less action than the senior members have), and half-butt-nonsense at worst (one bad decision after another (again, from Shinon's relatively neutral perspective) leads to their leader dying, and now they want to put said leader's son in charge because.. he has potential? he has a righteous head on his shoulders? are you people are delusional there's a take-no-prisoners war going on and this young turk wants us in on the ground floor of the side that is getting curb-stomped worse and worse every day, you people do not know your own job description)

And again, to his credit, he at least stops short of killing his former kid apprentice and realizes he picked the wrong side eventually.

IMO in order to break out of douchebag tier and into evil god damn arsehole tier, you need to be as irredeemably close to having zero possible justification for your actions.

Agreeing with Izuka's opinion on anything, especially if the agreement goes beyond purely pragmatic purposes, is itself like passing a minor moral event horizon a concrete step towards the darkness

Edited by Rehab
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Gheb falls squarely in evil arsehole IMO for that, and related reasons

Edited by Rehab
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Excellus for instence has strikingly long nails and screams like a gurl in the Japanese version and that he is downright embarrassing to look at. And he's a faggot.

I really hope you're kidding here. Can't tell if srs, and that's a little worrying.

Anyway, am I the only one who's annoyed by Ricken? Even the "douchey" characters in FE13 have been pretty enjoyable, like Vaike or Lon'qu. *is shot by Levity* And Maribelle, who goes out of her way to be disdainful, is my personal favorite character. Ricken has, like...zero redeeming qualities. = = So whiny, so self-serious. He's like a little yappy dog.

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I think some degree of self-awareness+independence is required to graduate from "annoying" to "douchebag" myself, but kid characters have an uphill battle to fight to be likeable characters, I think I can agree

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^ Yeah, I can't stand Ewan's "I wanna help! I wanna help!" whining in Eirika's route.

Shinon, for another example...

Shinon is totally tsundere. He sells bows on the side to help support his Ikey-poo.

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