FE6 Localization Patch v1.2.1 - Full localization with new features, including Support Conversation reader

[bookofholsety]

okay i've put this off long enough it's SCRIPT ERROR REPORT TIME (though only as far as the end of the Forblaze chapter that's how badly i've been slacking off)

most of these are probably going to be of the awkward phrasing persuasion i think i scrutinised it a bit too much and found some where they don't really exist

Chapter 10A

awkward phrasing, but i can't really think of what else to put there instead

typo ("I only go after rich")

somewhat awkward phrasing; try "We couldn't find any evidence explaining Nord's (aggression)(attack on us)(belligerence)."

Chapter 11A

this one can be fixed one of two ways: turn the comma in the first screenshot into a period, or just decapitalise the second sentence's beginning to make it a single sentence. also, i admit i find the second sentence somewhat awkwardly phrase; maybe turn it into "Even if doing so risks souring our relationship with Etruria..."

somewhat awkward phrasing, in the use of "this matter". normally "this matter" would be used without further clarification since it implies they know which matter they're talking about, so i'd recommend either axing the "of Princess Guinivere" part or just going "the matter of Princess Guinivere"

pretty bland and awkward. this is literally the only time i'll ever say this, but the old translation (at least the SF copy) actually did a better job here: "I'm sorry... If I hadn't been caught, I could have told you about this earlier..." maybe replace "told" with "warned" and lose the "earlier"?

the beginning of "my name is Elphin" lacks the necessary capital

something about this line doesn't sit quite right with me and i'm not sure what. oh well

the sentence itself is fine, but for some inexplicable reason it actually plays twice. like it loads the first instance normally and the dialogue box closes afterward, but then it just opens up again and plays the same line. FEditor burp?

this was among the screenshots i took but i can't remember what my issue with it was. maybe i interpreted it as a bit awkward? but it's pretty decent actually idk

Chapter 12

it strikes me as odd to describe Jutes as the "Etrurian capital"; even if it's technically true insofar as it being the capital of their Isles colony, normally you'd expect the phrase to describe... well, the actual Etrurian capital, Aquleia. i'd instead recommend having him talk about Bern's dragons being in "a major Etrurian settlement" or "Arcardo's residence" or something

Chapter 12x (though this is probably in 12 as well if you fail to unlock 12x)

awkward and unnecessary; just contract it to "Aquleia, the Etrurian capital" or something

clumsy and unnecessarily long; try "Have you found that Resistance bard yet?"

even if this was in the Japanese script, really

really

Chapter 11B

awkwardly phrased (the screenshot's from 11B, but most likely it's also in Geese's conversation in 10A)

Chapter 13

awkward phrasing; i recommend something like "They promised to leave Etrurian matters to (we)(us) Etrurians."

going with an exclamation mark after "really" instead of a question mark (or both at once) is a bit odd

pretty awkward in general, but the second half especially so

this is literally the only time i've ever heard the phrase "let me free" in anything ever and i think there's a good reason for that

put some space between the end of the "..." and Flaer's name

i forget what my exact objection to this one was but w/e

"young girl" is a bit redundant (to say nothing of how even in terms of appearance Sophia isn't all that young)

"prophesied" isn't a word (unless you're Old Hubba in FE13...); i recommend "foresaw", which fits a lot better as a verb than any variant of "prophecy"

awkward phrasing again

what starts with "a" and ends with "wkward phrasing"

Chapter 14/14x

this feels clumsily worded; perhaps "the ability to sense the auras of other dragons"?

i really should get back to the testing but for now at least i've FINALLY posted this batch two weeks late

[Klokinator]

Huge text gap on the sides, bring the bottom part up. Don't use all caps for anything, ever. "to" is just fine, even if emphasis may seem important.

Better:

"There is only one thing we can do... Flaer."

Sounds more dramatic and shows emphasis without that silly capital TO.

"Prince Mildain even after his passing." sounds incredibly awkward. I hope there was a line before this one that makes this a complete sentence. And if there was, I hope it flowed together correctly.

Why is he saying her name when she's standing right in front of him?

"Sophia, we are in your debt thanks to how you helped General Cecilia."

I'm assuming he's talking directly to her in that screenshot. If he's talking to someone offscreen, maybe ignore me.

[bookofholsety]

"Prince Mildain even after his passing." sounds incredibly awkward. I hope there was a line before this one that makes this a complete sentence. And if there was, I hope it flowed together correctly.

there was; if i recall correctly it was to the general effect of "General Perceval is still loyal to Prince Mildain even after his passing."

[gringe]

Thanks much, bookofholsety. Nitpickiness is perfectly fine. Some comments on a few of them, though.

Echidna and Lalum: Geez, looking at it now, what was I thinking? Well, it happens sometimes.

Lot and his sister: This was actually in the patch as it was, so I didn't change anything here (might have changed the wording, I don't remember). Kids are gross.

Perceval and some soldier: The "!" rather than a "?" is meant to indicate a different intonation on the "Really". That is, it's not said with a rising intonation but as an exclamation of surprise. Maybe it only seems right to me, I dunno.

Klokinator:

Actually, the localized GBA games very occasionally use words written with all caps to indicate stress/emphasis, therefore I consider it fair game if used here and there. I like that phrasing a little better though. Also, formatting of that sort is likely going to be a slight issue throughout. Nothing to be done but fix it when something's found, I guess.

About the Sophia one, IIRC it appeared in the script that Roy was responding to someone else (probably Merlinus), but in-game if it looks like that it's probably better for him to address her directly, yeah.

[bookofholsety]

Lot and his sister: This was actually in the patch as it was, so I didn't change anything here (might have changed the wording, I don't remember). Kids are gross.

i figured this was the case, but still idk some things are better cut? it's not a big deal either way

Perceval and some soldier: The "!" rather than a "?" is meant to indicate a different intonation on the "Really". That is, it's not said with a rising intonation but as an exclamation of surprise. Maybe it only seems right to me, I dunno.

i definitely get what you mean and it certainly makes sense in terms of spoken English, but i'm not sure i see it transitioning particularly well to written English, at least in this case. i'm racking my brain here trying to think of a way to express that particular inflection in a more natural/accurate-looking manner in text, but all i can think of is something like "Really...!" which stilll doesn't seem quite right

[Klokinator]

Perceval and some soldier: The "!" rather than a "?" is meant to indicate a different intonation on the "Really". That is, it's not said with a rising intonation but as an exclamation of surprise. Maybe it only seems right to me, I dunno.

Use different wording then.

"Is that so." (The phrasing shows a question but the period indicates it's a rhetorical question.)

"Mi'lord, the enemies are attacking us and all our men are being slaughtered!"

"Hmm. Is that so. Oh well, soldiers are replaceable after all."

Etc.

[Hash Jar]

"Is that so." All I can think about is Zelgius.

[gringe]

i figured this was the case, but still idk some things are better cut? it's not a big deal either way

It's possible it was inserted by the person who made the patch. I don't really care enough to find the line in the Japanese script. I remember thinking it was strange when I saw it so it may be better removing it after all.

i definitely get what you mean and it certainly makes sense in terms of spoken English, but i'm not sure i see it transitioning particularly well to written English, at least in this case. i'm racking my brain here trying to think of a way to express that particular inflection in a more natural/accurate-looking manner in text, but all i can think of is something like "Really...!" which stilll doesn't seem quite right

Well, sleep on it I guess. If enough people feel it looks wrong I can change it to something else, but I don't feel "Really?!" would express it properly. I could just as easily go with something along the lines of "You don't say!" though.

"Is that so." (The phrasing shows a question but the period indicates it's a rhetorical question.)

If the intonation of another common question phrase can be altered with a period, then why is "Really!" wrong?

[Klokinator]

Because what sounds good spoken out loud usually often doesn't look as good in written format.

Also, if you're going to use that one word, use "Really." as the period indicates sarcasm or boredom better than the excitable exclamation mark.

[Celice]

Because what sounds good spoken out loud usually often doesn't look as good in written format.

Also, if you're going to use that one word, use "Really." as the period indicates sarcasm or boredom better than the excitable exclamation mark.

Or it can easily express finality and understanding by using an end-stop. Perhaps it's best to try and get as accurate a tone as possible, rather than going for words or grammar that are ambiguous and too dependent in reader interpretation.

[BBHood217]

I have a question.

Are they gonna be Wyvern Riders or Dracoknights?

[bookofholsety]

it's Wyvern Rider and Wyvern Lord, just like in FE7

[gringe]

Because what sounds good spoken out loud usually often doesn't look as good in written format.

Also, if you're going to use that one word, use "Really." as the period indicates sarcasm or boredom better than the excitable exclamation mark.

Well, it's not exactly sarcasm or boredom I was going for there...

[bookofholsety]

It's possible it was inserted by the person who made the patch. I don't really care enough to find the line in the Japanese script. I remember thinking it was strange when I saw it so it may be better removing it after all.

i just checked and

[ロット] (左)

おお　ミュウ

いい子にしてたか？▼

[ミュウ] (右)

うん！▼

ミュウ　いい子にしてたよ！

おねしょもしなかった！▼

yeah it was definitely in there originally

not sure whether or not it absolutely should go; as dumb as it is, it's pretty harmless

[gringe]

Well, thanks for going to the trouble. It's probably okay then.

[VincentASM]

You could try toning it done or making it more subtle, if it matters.

Like "I even kept my bed dry" (this might be too vague, but you get the idea) or something.

I do think it's kind of out of place as it stands, even if it's in the original. But yeah, it's just a minor line, so no biggie.

[bookofholsety]

another possibility is a sort of substitution of meaning. the line is obviously about her being proud of doing something important and "good" as far as being a little kid is concerned, and let's face it, little kids do a lot more than struggle to avoid bedwetting. perhaps something about her keeping her room tidy? it's conceptually loosely similar i guess

[gringe]

I was thinking about it before and I would have probably gone with "I didn't even cry" if I were to have changed it already.

So let's think, what do kids struggle with?

-Wetting the bed

-Cleaning their room

-Crying

-Eating their vegetables

I dunno, after a quick brainstorm, I kind of like, "I even ate all my vegetables!"

[Robert Stewart]

I was thinking about it before and I would have probably gone with "I didn't even cry" if I were to have changed it already.

So let's think, what do kids struggle with?

-Wetting the bed

-Cleaning their room

-Crying

-Eating their vegetables

I dunno, after a quick brainstorm, I kind of like, "I even ate all my vegetables!"

Yeah, that one's my favourite.

[Crimson Red]

I feel like eating vegetables is definitely people of all eras have struggled with to some extent (except for places where they can't afford to be picky even in the slightest or they'd die)

[JamesBCrazy]

There's no reason to make it a direct translation in this case. I don't think anyone would be opposed to "ate all my vegetables."

...waits for you to reach Chapter 21. There's no way to translate it "correctly."

[Celice]

The two contents do offer drastically different implications for their relationship. Not wetting the bed can show that the girl feels she's becoming more responsible, something to make the person proud of. The benefit isn't necessarily for her; whereas eating the vegetables has no clear benefit, and could in fact belie a more submissive and needy role (I did what you said finally) rather than being more assertive and self-capable (something useful if she can't be protected all the time).

For others who are interested in the implications of altering meaning for superficial reasons, you should check out the excellent article on FFIV's many official and unoffficial translations. A legit dude compares almost every dialogue moment in the game against several different translations, and explains where the translator completely lost the text they were supposed to convey, or where a translation was apt or even better.

The list that was brainstormed is really only applicable to children of our current world and culture. Is the girl from the game really in the same situation, that we should levy our expectations of children unto her and her world? To retain the content of wetting the bed, perhaps you could go better with something like "I took care of all the chickens!" or something or other.

Edited September 14, 2013 by Celice

[gringe]

I'm not sure I agree that's what they were going for, considering she just says, "I was good!" and not, "I'm a big girl!" or something.

But whatever, I'll think about it.

[FionordeQuester]

Is there really any harm in the line? I think it's kind of cute myself :)!

[Irysa]

It's just one line from a kid. Whilst I respect your intent with regards to changing it, if that's what it says, what's the problem? Its hardly some bizzare cultural nuance, kids do wet the bed. I say leave it.

Edited September 15, 2013 by Irysa