Getting a sex change.

[Caster]

A topic I've wished to make for a while, but only now managed up the courage to make.

I wish to get a sex change in the future.

I am a girl by heart, but am a man in body.

That is all I will say on that matter.

I wish to be by body and heart, a girl.

I wish to know the cost it would take for me to be able to do this, and also the possible dangers and risks of doing so.

That is all.

[Guest meibum]

At seventeen it may be a bit early to make such a big decision.

I know you need to go through psychiatric evaluation and I think in america if you have physical or sexual abuse in your childhood they won't allow you to get one.

[Espinosa]

Not kidding or mocking in any way, but have you felt this way before... discovering Touhou and suchlike things? Based on limited reading, I can say it's a decision you're likely to regret, especially if you end up as one of the people who are not men anymore but not quite women either.

[Caster]

Not kidding or mocking in any way, but have you felt this way before... discovering Touhou and suchlike things? Based on limited reading, I can say it's a decision you're likely to regret, especially if you end up as one of the people who are not men anymore but not quite women either.

I had felt this way before discovering those things. It's been a thought that has been with me for quite some time.

[Caster]

At seventeen it may be a bit early to make such a big decision.

I know you need to go through psychiatric evaluation and I think in america if you have physical or sexual abuse in your childhood they won't allow you to get one.

I will concede it is probably not the right time to make such a decision.

It's more of something that I wish to do years later if I feel it would be right for me to do.

[Blademaster!]

I don't know the full details, but at the moment transgender people don't have full(if any?) civil rights protection depending on where you live in the USA(assuming you live there). However that will probably change in a few years with the way society is now.

As far as Female->Male sex changes go, the only thing I can ever recall reading as some kind of social negative is some blog I read where the girl who got the sex change complained how it was a bit harder being a man, but the only complaint I remember her saying was how she was more used to guys hitting on her instead of how she would need to hit on whatever sex she was interested in(don't remember which, probably women). Can't recall anything other than that though. Also, if you're short(like under 5-6 or maybe a bit taller) it'll probably be easy for people to identify you as transgender.

[HK Motendra]

Do whatever it is that you feel is right for you. But, as already stated, make sure that you are 100% sure about this and are ready for such a huge change in your life

[Zerker]

I don't know what to say other than

Press `~ , type in "sexchange" and hit enter

be careful about major decisions like this.

Edited October 30, 2013 by Ƶerker

[Shin]

Think first, it's a massive commitment and you can't exactly swap back. What would the surgery let you achieve that you want to? Not that I'm saying it's something that you shouldn't consider, but make sure you do so for the right reasons.

[LuxSpes]

I don't know the full details, but at the moment transgender people don't have full(if any?) civil rights protection depending on where you live in the USA(assuming you live there). However that will probably change in a few years with the way society is now.

As far as Female->Male sex changes go, the only thing I can ever recall reading as some kind of social negative is some blog I read where the girl who got the sex change complained how it was a bit harder being a man, but the only complaint I remember her saying was how she was more used to guys hitting on her instead of how she would need to hit on whatever sex she was interested in(don't remember which, probably women). Can't recall anything other than that though. Also, if you're short(like under 5-6 or maybe a bit taller) it'll probably be easy for people to identify you as transgender.

I think she's considering a Male -> Female sex change(at least that's what I gathered from the OP). I have no idea on the cost.

As for possible dangers, surely you are aware of this, but bigotry and the hateful actions that are the result of it will be a cause of danger. You did mention that you plan to get it later in your life, so we could be optimistic and hope that people will evolve to be more accepting. As for danger of the operations, I do remember reading that the female hormones could cause some problem due to them thickening the blood. Also, I think I read that some people had problem with sensation regarding their new organs, but that's about all I can think of right now.

And as other have stated, you need to be at least 18 and have passed a psychological examination to start the treatment.

Anyway, congratulation for your courage. Announcing something like that, even on a forum can be quite frightening.

[Midnight Nightmare]

In my honest opinion, you should really think about it. You may feel like you don't belong to this body but getting a sex change isn't the answer. You are probably too young to be thinking of doing something that will literally change your life. The discrimination that people who do this is huge. Their family gets divided, One side accepts it and others look at it as an abomination. The risks of having a major surgery, the process of healing, the amount of money spent on it and it really depends who is performing a surgery. Get some counselling. Give it time, this kind of decision is one that you can't revert. I don't know how you actually feel because I am not walking your shoes., but theres some thing I can relate to and I think every other SFer can. We've all had identity crisis at some point in our lives. Take it easy.

[Rehab]

People, I gotta level with you, a lot of these aren't very helpful answers.

Like, I'm going to need some time to get into it, but at a bare minimum: If somebody comes forward about feeling that they could be/are transgendered, which takes some fucking guts to do in any open space, the last thing any informed responder should want to do is to doubt them, or to try to talk them out of something they've probably gone over many more times in their head than anybody else can imagine.

Edited October 31, 2013 by Rehab

[PKLucas531]

I've had a friend go through this and what they told me(it was a pretty touchy subject) was that hormone stuff was affordable. She was pretty poor and could still afford the estrogen(I think?)/hormone injections while living on her own working at a McDonalds. It's been about a year and we haven't been in touch.

Beyond that I can't really say much(unless you want to hear some negative/downer stories about her experience) She said the surgery is really expensive, to where it would take years of saving if she really wanted to go through with it. Googling it just says there's multiple surgeries that can total 10k and up if that means anything.

Edited October 31, 2013 by PKLucas531

[bookofholsety]

i admit i know little of gender reassignment surgery, but i know a few people undergoing hormonal therapy (usually doses of estrogen, but in some cases other hormones are used) to formally commence such a transition. while it's obviously not full on genital-altering surgery, it should give you female secondary sex characteristics (feminine breasts) and reduce male ones (hair everywhere), and go a long way to lessening the impact of dysphoric feelings and making you feel more comfortable with yourself; the actual surgery can presumably come later. as i understand it, pricing varies wildly

here, i'll just copypaste some advice i got from a friend in the same boat whom i asked:

(on surgery requirements)

some docs recommend or even require a full year or so living full time as the opposite gender out in society before going through with the surgery, often requiring some letters of recommendation too but im not really sure if that's the case with every doctor out there. i just know you need to be at least recommended by someone for the surgery.

i mean, i go to a place specifically for lgbt stuff and they even mentioned that i'll need a recommendation to get any kind of surgery like that

[...]

yeah i think you need to be 18 here in the states to do it. not sure about anywhere else but id imagine it wouldn't be very different

[...]

(on therapy pricing and duration)

i really don't know about pricing, i think it can vary greatly. but for duration, it lasts one's whole life. i mean, people do stop taking it for a while if they dont feel as if they need it anymore and it's not really dangerous to go off it any time you feel like it but it is sort of designed to be a lifelong thing

my prescriptions currently cost about $20. i think it's more on the cheaper side because of the special lgbt place where im getting them

i wouldnt imagine them getting outrageously higher though haha

i see that others here are advising you to think this through, which is true, but frankly i get the feeling you already have. identifying in a transgender manner really isn't something one does lightly and i somehow doubt this thread is the first time you've done it anywhere in your life. i applaud your courage in coming out and saying it, especially in a hellhole like this subforum

whatever you decide to do, best of luck to you

[Caster]

i admit i know little of gender reassignment surgery, but i know a few people undergoing hormonal therapy (usually doses of estrogen, but in some cases other hormones are used) to formally commence such a transition. while it's obviously not full on genital-altering surgery, it should give you female secondary sex characteristics (feminine breasts) and reduce male ones (hair everywhere), and go a long way to lessening the impact of dysphoric feelings and making you feel more comfortable with yourself; the actual surgery can presumably come later. as i understand it, pricing varies wildly

here, i'll just copypaste some advice i got from a friend in the same boat whom i asked:

i see that others here are advising you to think this through, which is true, but frankly i get the feeling you already have. identifying in a transgender manner really isn't something one does lightly and i somehow doubt this thread is the first time you've done it anywhere in your life. i applaud your courage in coming out and saying it, especially in a hellhole like this subforum

whatever you decide to do, best of luck to you

This is very helpful. Thank you.

And I have been thinking it through for quite a while now...

[Raven]

I'm not sure how old you are, but you should wait until you're fully developed before you undergo any serious changes.

Don't go doing anything you will regret. Many people live happily within their male bodies despite being feminine at heart, and live happily with their male partners.

[Rehab]

It's actually easiest on somebody trying to physically transition to do it as early as possible, absolute best-case-scenario being before puberty. Shinki ought to get checked by a psychologist, yes, but that's "so that she can have her condition verified," not "so that he can forget about it."

And most accounts I've heard from transgender people about their pre-transition experience made it sound like hell. In many cases, their brain can literally be structured like it's of a different gender.

Edited October 31, 2013 by Rehab

[Esau of Isaac]

And most accounts I've heard from transgender people about their pre-transition experience made it sound like hell. In many cases, their brain can literally be structured like it's of a different gender.

I have a cousin who is incredibly feminine. It's not something he developed when he was in his teenage years. Ever since we were little kid he would prance on the balls of his feet, just carrying himself like a girl. We still have old videotapes of when an uncle recorded him doing a ballerina impression. Even the way he ran was always quite feminine. Contrast that to his younger sister, who played football as a kid and beat him up constantly as they were growing up when they would get into an inevitable sibling brawl over this or that. I have always thought it evidence that gender is far more than a cultural creation as many radicalists would claim.

I can't really say whether or not he'd want a sex change but I feel strongly that he identifies much more as a woman than I do a man. Like others have said here I would strongly recommend thinking the decision through and discuss it with family in-depth. It is an extremely serious choice to make and once you go forward you will find going back quite difficult. I don't know much of the topic but I do know a fair share of horror stories I would not wish on anyone. With whatever decision you make take it most seriously and follow it through to its conclusion, don't do it half and half.

[Rehab]

Yeah, I don't doubt there are some awful "I reeeeeally shouldn't have gotten a sex change operation" stories out there. Just in my experience, though, most of the horror stories I've heard, both among those I've gotten from strangers and from trans friends or friends-of-friends, have mostly been about other people and family being unaccepting- many of the least-bad stories, among those that weren't "everybody was supportive, my brain finally stopped being on fire and I took to it like a fish to water," had relations being anywhere from mildly weirded out by the transition even if cordial, to doubting or flat-out denying they have an actual, legit medical condition, to, at the real nightmare end, committing violence against or even disowning them.

Those accounts depended more on the people around the trans___ individual in question than what exactly their physical deal was, of course, but one thing I'd take away would be to try to secure a safe place to go other than one's parents before telling them, if one hasn't already, just in case the people on whom one's dependent renege on their obligations. (feels pretty awful to even think about, admittedly, but again, horror stories)

On a personal level, I also feel that, specifically, gender roles are constructed as hell, yeah, in the sense that I don't think gender should be used as a determinant of physical capabilities, and I'm even uncomfortable with using gendered words as adjectives, when it can be helped ("manly disposition," "womanly touch," etc.), and I think there's plenty of room for all kinds of variation between individuals even before chromosome composition comes into the picture.

The sexes literally have some differences between them in brain structure, though, and expect different levels/kinds of hormones for some processes. People can literally be born with a brain that expects female hormonal processes, and yet get a body that is physically male, and which gives hormonal feedback that really doesn't fit the brain. These people can get basically phantom limb syndrome but with sex organs, and a bunch of other nasty shit, which is all different on a fundamental level from, for lack of a better way to put it, the average identity crisis, and/or just feeling like one differs from the stereotypes societies give people about their gender(s).

So one should be sure that that's them before they take a plunge that costs thousands of dollars, sure, and getting a qualified therapist involved to help figure out what could/should be done with as much certainty as possible is a good investment no matter what comes from it, but if there really is an imbalance, there's no longer any such thing as getting it fixed "too early" when one's approaching twenty years old.

Not that it can't be done later far as I've heard, but it deserves the earliest attention it can get.

Edited November 1, 2013 by Rehab

[lolDeath]

Just get some scissors and rubbing alcohol.

[Blademaster!]

The sexes literally have some differences between them in brain structure, though, and expect different levels/kinds of hormones for some processes. People can literally be born with a brain that expects female hormonal processes, and yet get a body that is physically male, and which gives hormonal feedback that really doesn't fit the brain.

Wow, I've never even heard of that before. Makes me wonder why transpeople don't mention it more often.

[Dark Sage]

The sexes literally have some differences between them in brain structure, though, and expect different levels/kinds of hormones for some processes. People can literally be born with a brain that expects female hormonal processes, and yet get a body that is physically male, and which gives hormonal feedback that really doesn't fit the brain. These people can get basically phantom limb syndrome but with sex organs, and a bunch of other nasty shit, which is all different on a fundamental level from, for lack of a better way to put it, the average identity crisis, and/or just feeling like one differs from the stereotypes societies give people about their gender(s).

source? I'm not saying it's not possible or anything but i'd like to know where you learned this from.

[Rehab]

Wikipedia's gender identity disorder page links to a summation/footnote of a study for the brain structure/hormone intake part. The phantom limb bit is something I've occasionally heard trans people claim happened to them before physical transition, and I can at least link to another account of it, but I haven't yet found an "academic" grade source or study on it from cursory search results.

[Balcerzak]

A topic I've wished to make for a while, but only now managed up the courage to make.

I wish to get a sex change in the future.

I am a girl by heart, but am a man in body.

That is all I will say on that matter.

I wish to be by body and heart, a girl.

I wish to know the cost it would take for me to be able to do this, and also the possible dangers and risks of doing so.

That is all.

Serenes Forest is not a place for dispensing or receiving medical advice. Before taking any action, or even preparations for action, speak with your physician, or other health care professional. If they don't have the answers for you, they will almost certainly be able to refer you to someone who does.

That said, feel free to share any testimonials or recommendations, and to use such as material for going into a meeting with your health care professional informed, because I can only imagine that going in blind there might be a lot of aspects you may not have fully or properly considered asking about. Having a nice list of topics for discussion will prevent you from needing to either schedule a second appointment or ring them up on phone when you realize something you wish you'd thought of asking.

Disclaimers all out of the way, I wish you luck with whatever your decision ends up being, either hormonal treatments, surgery, or nothing: whatever ends up being the right decision for you. I have no personal experience to share, my small handful of acquaintances who might be much more intimately informed on the subject either aren't active on this forum, or I have fallen out of contact with, or both.

[deleted35362]

FIRST of all...

On a personal level, I also feel that, specifically, gender roles are constructed as hell, yeah, in the sense that I don't think gender should be used as a determinant of physical capabilities, and I'm even unomfortable with using gendered words as adjectives, when it can be helped ("manly disposition," "womanly touch," etc.), and I think there's plenty of room for all kinds of variation between individuals even before chromosome composition comes into the picture.

hell yeah. second of all, i have no idea what you guys are talking about when you tell shinki to "stop and think about" getting the sex change. first of all i don't really think she's in a position to make the sex change to a female at this moment. second, there isn't much reason to not want to make the change when you spend your entire life hating your own body. it's not like this was an overnight deal.