"Blind" Mystery of The Emblem: A Screencap Playthrough

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 13]

Just an opener: how are these

And these:

Exist on the same map?

Quotes I wish I had never said:

I'm tempted to give Paola two levels just so I can whip her.

EVERYONE RUN!

Except George.

GG, enemy Dracoknights.

No Parthiabomb yet, sadly.

I SHOULD HAVE FORESEEN THIS

"Watch this crit."

*SKABOOM*

I am--the best.

It almost looks like he's dodging!

Speaking of dodging... really?

Here's hoping Dick Chainey doesn't attack THE BEAST.

You know this game is bad when Marth is arguably my best.

"Still not as cool as Ike."

No Mag stat to cap, 0/10.

Dancelord!

You're a jumper!

Oh, this will end badly for you.

YES, you didn't kill yourself, new friend!

MHP doesn't go up? TIME TO BENCH.

Also, apparently, my retarded friend thinks Chainey and Marth switched places before the game began.

Yeah.

Marth, you were supposed to chip, not...

WLV RES MHP.

What.

*laughing intensifies*

Pile into the killbox, ladies! And watch out for the blood of units better than you!

I'm gonna bank on the hope that we don't get Horseman reinforcements in literally the next turn.

Really, Minerva?

I mean, sure, Gradivus is a handy benchmark, but... there's nothing else you wanted, at all?

Oh noes!

"They're equal! It's like they're brothers."

...Abel, proc some GD defense. PLEASE.

Abel, start having bulk.

"Libro the wrong person. Please?"

CURSE YOU, SHIN!

*discussing Marth's promotion, lol*

"Roy is not the end-all, be-all!"

"Yes he is, because he was in Smash Brothers!"

ENTIRELY NECESSARY.

I KEEP FORGETTING THEY'RE NOT KNIGHTS!

Which is total BS, by the by.

DOPPELGANGER MARTH!!

...doesn't even get EXP for fighting.

Just 10 for transforming.

Minerva's Field Day: The Game: The Chapter: The Game: The Film: The Sequel: The Happening: The End.

Don't know if they're going for Sheeda III or Minerva. Don't really care which.

OGUMA

STEEL SWORD ONE-ROUNDING PALLIES AND DODGING

YEAH.

Abel so "spectacular" now.

Should've promoted him.

HE'S GETTING THE DRACOSHIELD THOUGH.

YARANAIKA.

I don't really care, honestly. Marth is still the BEST.

SHEEDA III

Winning things and starting the VICTORY MUSIC ALREADY WOW.

I CAN'T BREATHE

I CAN'T BREATHE

ABEL GOT DEF!!

Except his Str and Spe are kinda shit now.

LET'S DO THI--

...FUCK ME.

FUCK

ME.

...do I continue Book 1? Do I go onto Book 2 now?

I'm thinking: I'll continue, BUT I have to sacrifice five units to the RNG gods to resurrect Marth. Picked by you, the readers!

[bottlegnomes]

HE'S LIKE OGUMA

BUT SEXIER.

Und pantsless.

Well, that could have gone better, but at least Marthipan is alive and turned out quite nicely.

EDIT: RESTART THE WHOLE THING But for real, I guess keep going. Anyone but da Pope and Rena. They too beast.

Edited December 29, 2013 by bottlegnomes

[Terrador]

Yeah--I figure me slogging through Book 1 with nobody is funnier than just going to Book 2 or giving up entirely.

Needs more votes!

Current standing (commentator + you)

Roshe x1

Oguma x1

Kain x1

Abel x1

Wendel x-1

[Xinnidy]

KEEP GOING!

The gods demand a sacrifice of Barts, Sedgar, Rickard, Oguma, and Abel.

Edited December 29, 2013 by Xinnidy

[Terrador]

Hardin's already dead!

And Shiida is too!

[Ema Skye]

I'm thinking: I'll continue, BUT I have to sacrifice five units to the RNG gods to resurrect Marth. Picked by you, the readers!

I pick Oguma, Kain, Abel, Wendell and Rena

Edited December 29, 2013 by DoofInAHat

[SRC]

I pick Oguma, Kain, Abel, Wendell and Rena

Same except please spare DA POPE. ;-;

Kill uhh....GEORGE or some other chump that has miraculously survived.

[bottlegnomes]

Also please don't kill my waifu Palla.

But for actual sacrifices:

Roshe

Jagen

Est when you get her because she's terrible both as a unit and a person

Saji

Merric

[Terrador]

bottlegnomes--do you actually want me to win?

Abel x4

Oguma x4

Kain x3

Roshe x2

Rena x2

Barts x1

Zagaro x1

Ricardo x1

George x1

Jagen x1

Est x1

Saji x1

Marich x1

TOP FIVE: ABEL, OGUMA, KAIN, ROSHE, RENA.

NOT MY CAVS

AND MY BEST COMBAT UNIT

AND MY GARNEF-KILLER T_T

CURSE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MARTH

Edited December 29, 2013 by Terrador

[SRC]

AND MY GARNEF-KILLER T_T

It's finally Boa's time to shine.

You haven't used the energy ring yet, right?

[Terrador]

EVERYONE IS DEAD.

FINALLY

NEXT TIME: WE TRY TO POWERLEVEL MARICH OR SOMETHING

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO'S GONNA KILL GARNEF AT THIS POINT.

[bottlegnomes]

Not Rena I figured she'd be your Gharnef killer. Now I feel bad about voting for Roshe.

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 14]

OH GOD HERE WE GO

OH NO!

Marich needed the Manual for WLv, and you know it.

Abel!

MARTH

KILLS

EVERYONE.

SHIN!

Also, some Thief stole money! CURSES!

All that, plus STR.

REVENGE OF BARTS

ORKOING ARMORS

YEAH.

Yeeeeeah, not a good day for Minerva.

This, plus WLV and MHP. Plus, I actually got the money he stole! Score!

Astria + George: WE CAN DENT THIS DRAGON!

Popeman Jones for the victory!

BLANK LEVEL WHY.

MARTHA'S POWER IS RESTORED.

Astria, the clutch Thiefslayer.

CRITICAL SLASH!!

Marich needs Thoron to win Mage duels. It's... pretty weak shit.

HAND AXE CRITS=KABOOMS!

Then Astria stole the bosskill.

A whole bunch of boring repositioning and whatnot later--

LET'S DO THIS.

UNLEASH THE DRAGON!!

Tell me how this ends.

Marth's final level--a Shin level. I'm not even a little bit surprised.

Go, go, Doppelganger!Marth!

Having another Warp is really handy!

Bah, no crit!

...and now Marich is dead. Looks like I forgot about the Worm Bishop :/

THERE WE GO. Yay, item drops~!

And there's the other drop. Now, I'm out!

...of people worth promoting. Except Paola.

Before this... LIBRO STAVES. BOUGHT A COUPLE OF THOSE.

And now we're done.

I'm running out of units, guys. Seriously, I'm damn near out!

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 15]

But we will anyway! YEAH!

Chaaaaaaaaaarge!!

...okay, nobody but Marth one-rounds. THAT'S OKAY, THOUGH!

BECAUSE MARTH CAN CLEAN HOUSE FOR US.

...I have nowhere near enough Door Keys. And no Ricardo.

DAMN.

Gotta let Thieves pop doors, then.

This will require some masterful chicanery, methinks.

...I can't believe I'm giving you a Whip.

And Minerva! Aren't you better than this?

AND THEN ASTRIA BLEW HIMSELF UP.

Now Marth feeds Barts. It's a small, funny, cruel world.

A bunch of boring cleanup happened--obviously, I got treasure, and recruited Chiki--but guess what?

Promoted Paola happened.

Next map: passing the Star Orb around and trying to get my team something like ready for endgame!

[Shin]

The quality of level ups in this run is amazing. You should totally star orb Biraku up to scratch!

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 16]

STAR ORB SPAM!

Paola flies in to handle the siege engine.

She... got the teensiest bit mauled in the process.

STR SKL LCK WLV MHP.

...not gonna lie, that seems pretty weak for a Star Orb level.

Made a dumb move, and Chainey's probably dying for it.

eeeeeeeeeeyup.

Baiting, murdering, Orb-trading. That... will happen a lot.

Str, double-Skl, and no SPE or DEF. C'mon, Paola, Spe Def! You have 50+ growths in both!!

STR SPE WLV DEF MHP!

Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

...he was not carrying the Star Orb.

PERFECT LEVEL

NOW HE CAN USE THAT SILVER AXE I SOLD TEN MAPS AGO!

wait...

Two perfect levels in a row. Great work, Big Man.

>STR SPE RES MHP

Garnef-slayer level!

Crappy screenshot!

I think the level was SKL SPE DEF MHP, but I'm not entirely certain.

STR SKL 2SPE LCK MHP!

STR SKL LCK WLV RES MHP.

Trust me--the tactical particulars of this map are boring. As. Shit. You don't want any part of it.

...wait, that village had Est? And the Miracle Sword?

FUCK.

That's--that's a shame.

I missed the screencap, but--SKL LCK RES.

You couldn't proc the good stats, Boah? Really?

STR 2SKL LCK WLV RES MHP

Still really lacking SPE and DEF, Paola...

...and HOLY HELL IT'S FOUR IN THE MORNING.

This continues tomorrow. Later, nerds!

[Terrador]

[spoiler=MORE Book 1 Chapter 16]

ABEL LEVEL WITH STAR ORB.

WHY.

CURSES

GEORGE GOT A NON-STAR LEVEL.

NOT DA ENEMY DENSITY

Also, George is getting Abel levels off the Star Orb...

POPEMAN JONES STOP BEING TERRIBLE.

STR SKL SPE LCK WLV MHP.

Not bad, Chiki. Not bad.

THREE PERFECT LEVELS

IN A ROW

ALL HAIL BARTS.

George, I get that you're pretty much bows!Boa, but... can you please get stats? Please and thanks.

FOUR PERFECT LEVELS

IN A ROW.

Streak broken by no RES.

SKL 2SPE LCK DEF MHP? Yeah, I'll take that, no problem~

STR SPE DEF

THERE WE GO BOAH

SKL SPE DEF MHP

Go Paola!

SKL LCK, with the Orbs? REALLY?

Perfect level, minus RES. You go, girl!

PERFECT LEVEL GO MINERVA!

Perfect minus, weirdly enough, DEF and MHP.

STR SPE WLV RES MHP. Funky.

STR LCK RES MHP. Eh, I'll take it.

STR SPE WLV RES MHP. I swear, Paola hates Speed and Minerva hates Def.

STR SPE LCK WLV RES. SO MUCH RES.

SKL LCK WLV RES. Eh, he actually needed some WLV.

SKL SPE LCK WLV DEF MHP.

Hey, Minerva actually got DEF and SKL! Woo!

STR LCK WLV RES. I think he can use Bolganone now, not that it matters!

Wendel's final level: SKL SPE LCK DEF MHP. You've done good, Popeman Jones. You've done good.

I FORGOT THAT +3 AS DOUBLED

PAOLA GOT MURDERED

SHE WAS CARRYING THE ORBS!!

ALL IS NOT LOST!!

STR SPE WLV RES MHP. Not bad, George. Not bad.

The training's not done yet, but you'll love it once you see the final results! Next map: more of the same, honestly!

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 17]

Minerva got zapped in to get rid of this guy.

She has to mount again for this to be comfortable, though!

Gradius + Light Orb + Star Orb... just a touch OP.

I can just see her thinking "FUCK OFF YOU RETARD I'M MORE POWERFUL AND HAVE THE EVERLOVING GRADIVUS HERE. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU."

For what it's worth, Big Man survived with 2 HP to his name. Not caprammed Str = Minerva wasn't ready.

STR SKL LCK RES. Now she is.

...might've forgotten that Iote's Shield negates all effective bonuses.

"...goodbye, Brother."

Didn't even give a decent level... though, to be fair, STR and SPE were already capped. WLV too, I think...?

CORE STATS: THE LEVEL.

Barts got Spe and Lck only--though, to be fair, he wasn't carrying DA ORB.

Minerva's doing... pretty solid, to say the least. Quite the shame that nobody can wield Gradius indoors, though.

STR SKL SPE DEF MHP.

Best footie!

STR SKL SPE DEF MHP.

...yep, this is familiar.

Her final level: SKL LCK RES.

...hue. That's just funny.

STR 2SKL SPE LCK MHP.

Classic Chiki, I swear.

STR SKL SPE LCK WLV MHP.

If only she could put that Speed to use...

STR SKL SPE 2LCK RES MHP

I hadn't noticed, but her Hit issues are slowly becoming less of an issue! Go, Chiki!

I swear, ChikiDEF is the new KAINSTR.

STR SKL LCK WLV RES MHP.

So... everything but SPE and DEF. Alrighty then.

George: Blowing up dragons and getting Abel+HP. Of course.

STR SPE WLV DEF MHP.

There we go. A real MANLY level.

This, plus MHP. The last Star Orb level...

And now, to see the stats at the end of Training Maps: The Game.

This DOES include boosters I already had, but DOES NOT include ones I've yet to buy. I'll give a rundown of those later.

Marth: He's not to be trifled with, capable of wielding Silver and Killers off 16 Str, with a 20 Lck that makes Devil Swords actually safe. Pity my only one of those got eaten by Astria. Unfortunately, Marth has relatively low DEF and RES despite his high HP, so he's gotta be protected.

Barts has shaped up quite nicely. He hasn't capped anything, but still doubles incredibly often and has gigantic Mt. He can also break out the Devil Axe for a one-blow attack that's almost unrivaled.

I babied George with the Star Orb, but frankly, he still disappoints. That said, 34x2 Atk matches what the rest of my units have going into endgame, and his RES developed very nicely.

Chiki's quite the little firebomb of a powerhouse! I'm planning on getting a Robe for her, which will skyrocket her HP to the cap.

DA POPE is rather weak at this point, with his 5 MAG, no Thoron, and piddling DEF. That said, he has reasonably good HP, so he should be able to take one physical hit from most anything. The crit rates he faces aren't too extreme, either.

Star Orb for fifteen levels off solid bases and already-decent growths. She has 20 DEF on her wyvern, and should face no chance of death with Ye Olde Iote's Shield.

You may not have even known he existed, but POPEMAN SNAKE is here to stay! With blistering AS and obscene Mt, he can bring the hurt down. He can also survive one physical attack without fail and will never die to magic.

Ever.

Join us next time for Book 1 Chapter 18: Get Over Here, you Maph-Spamming Bastard!

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 18]

Pretty intimidating place! There are some mages and chests off to the side, too.

George, could you escort our guest to Hell?

He actually got two stats! One of them is core! I'm genuinely impressed.

BOA and DIVINE BOOMSTICK will choke these points!

George: dodging 85s like nobody's business.

Apparently, the widdle Mages are afraid~!

Respect the SNIPER.

Chiki totally needed those stats.

I never would've thought "Nuke it with BOA" would be an appropriate response to anything.

Aww, he thinks he's people!

That would actually be scary if Boa had any chance of getting critted.

That 10000G means two more boosters for the Gaang come C19!

Run, "Garnef", run~!

I'm so afraid~!

Minerva: because 16 Def/10 Res/two Bishop backups makes you feel pretty invincible.

Ricardo: actually useful for something today!

...I think Minerva's a little too good. Part of me's tempted to make her literally perfect, even dismounted.

Libro suppoooooooooort!!

OH LAWDY LAWD

IT'S THE REAL DEAL

HOLD ONTO YOUR TITS

...and even with no Hit, it connected. Of course.

No crit, Martha? I thought you were stronger than that!

Marth can't crit today, it seems.

Chiki finally finishes off a fake Garnef.

In just one more turn, Boa will be ready to strike!

MAPH DODGES MAPH

Also, boring screenshot of Boa tanking a fake.

Blah, blah, piss and moan all you like, Garnef. BOA ONE-ROUNDED YOU.

George finished off a Garnef clone, and... somehow got STR again!

Barts pursued and killed his quarry, with lovely results!

Blah, blah, punks mopped up, SEIZE!

Next time: we buy WAY too many boosters! Also, Marth might get Warped or something!

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 19]

Time to bust in there and feed him his own Dragon Balls? Yup, I think so, too.

Pity Rochelle is dead already!

Also, you can't use Ohm until literally the last map. Sad day.

I fed Boah a Speed Ring so he could double the real ugly-ugly sons of bitches with VOLCANO. And by that I mean "he'll double things with no AS".

And by that I mostly mean dragons and such.

This is literally the last map I have the damn thing for, and I'll spam it all I like.

Marth has literally the exact HP required to live two shots from a Fire Dragon.

GETTING ATTACKED FROM INSIDE A BUILDING

WHOOPS.

...she had my Member Card.

OKAY

NO BOOSTERS FOR FINAL

THAT'S COOL.

That is a lot more dragons than I am comfortable dealing with, right there.

...thankfully, I have Chiki.

Chiki tanks whole map and doesn't afraid of anything!

At least we got rid of the dragons!

Marth is in big trouble.

Chiki: critblicking like a badass.

Next time: WE FINISH THIS!

[bottlegnomes]

I FORGOT THAT +3 AS DOUBLED

PAOLA GOT MURDERED

SHE WAS CARRYING THE ORBS!!

I'm guessing you're resurrecting Minerva? And why couldn't you use Ohm this map?

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 1 Chapter 20]

...I could've gotten my boosters anyway? RAGE!

...and apparently I did something stupid and can't Ohm Minerva back. JOY.

Popeman Jones has the Warp, and he's alone up top.

Popeman's trying to soften that Hero up, but... I dunno if he can survive this.

Barts... buy Chiki what time you can.

Strangely, that Mamkute up top hasn't moved...

Popeman Jones finishes the Hero...

Ellis, sadly, is a goner.

Boah's crazy-buff Reserve should keep everyone alive awhile longer.

Marth, charge at a dragon!

Chiki critblicks make my life a bit easier.

RIP Ellis, C19-C20.

Well be ready to Warp Prince Marth in next turn.

Here, it's near-impossible to Meteor Marth.

Marth gets the crit, though that's largely irrelevant.

Barts is somehow still alive and kicking.

Boa Reserves the right to keep everyone alive!

George got locked in... he's in for a hell of a wild ride. He probably won't survive.

If you can hit, you blind old bastard!

The Pope's been isolated by these damned self-locking doors.

Marth got a crit off! Very promising.

I think Barts is officially the Terminator.

...I did not think this through 110%.

One Enemy Phase... we gotta live through one Enemy Phase.

...Prince Marth has yet to take the throne. The battle is not yet won.

Chiki's assistance is ever-valuable.

All enemy motion ceased after Mediuth's defeat. Victory... VICTORY IS OURS!

RIP:

Sheeda (Warped to her death)

Abel (Sacrificed to the gods)

Kain (Sacrificed to the gods)

Oguma (Sacrificed to the gods)

Kashim (Ambushed by a Dracoknight)

Rena (Sacrificed to the gods)

Julian (Sniped through a wall)

Navarre (Shot through a mountain)

Marich (Eaten by worms)

Hardin (Ambushed by reinforcements)

Roshe (Sacrificed to the gods)

Minerva (Roasted alive through a wall)

Astria (Murdered by a Devil Sword)

Katua (Reblow missed)

Paola (Fed herself to Camus)

Chainy (Died protecting the Dracoknights)

Ellis (No escape)

Samson (Village destroyed)

Lawrence (Died defending his homeland)

Est (Village destroyed)

Book 2 coming soon to a thread near you!

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 2 Chapter 1]

Time for reluctant murder? Time for reluctant murder.

Somehow, the boss is below his Book 1 bases! That usually doesn't happen!

Here's my team! Of note: Alan is WAY better than Jagen I, being able to double with the Silver and having better bulk. Cecil also seems pretty cool: not too far from being able to double with Iron, then Silver, and will be able to spam Lady Sword once we get it. And, naturally, Marth is solid, though not astounding.

Have I mentioned that Cecil (well, and Luke too) one-rounds these guys? It's quite nice.

She is four-shotted, so it'd be best if she didn't see TOO much combat.

Martha doesn't have the Atk at base, but... one-shots on a crit anyway. Not bad at all.

Luke hands over his Iron Sword before going for a chip.

Not bad, boy.

...that 10 CRT is suspicious.

Hey, apparently Luke and Rody get 5% from Cecil, who in turn gets 10% from Rody! Almost enough for me to care.

Almost.

Gordon: chipping is what he does best.

I thought Cecil was in a compromising position... but then I realized she can't murder her way out of it. Neat.

Cecil takes the Steel back for another kill.

S-so young...

Must... resist stereotypes... stay devout to sixteen-year-old spinster...

[i actually dunno how old Sheeda is, but she's probably no older than twenty]

Okay, good. No temptation anymore!

She may look kinda shitty, but she has solid STR (30%), SPE (50%), and WLV (70%) growths. She'll become VERY useful.

Also, she has Hammerne this game.

Luke is already a worthless chump!

Gordon can go ahead and field this one. He's actually not THAT bad this time around!

Defensive "formation"!

Rody the shopper! So clutch!

Gordon's gonna get fat eating all these chips!

These guys apparently believe "aggro" is a naughty word.

This is what Silver Lances are built for!

I missed it, but she got Speed, Luck, and WLV. Not great, but certainly not bad.

That one hits? Are you shitting me, bro?

Marth's miss-crits: the only way he really rolls nowadays.

NO!

Had to burn a Vulnerary because I'm dumb and can't use Mallesia properly.

Unbelievably, both of these hit.

DA REVENGE!

Marth finishes this Bandito off.

STR SPE LCK WLV MHP

THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

Cecil has to dismount before joining Marth on the GLORIOUS FIELD OF BATTLE.

Go, Cecil! Go forth and kick some ass!

...and don't miss. That totally can't happen, right?

Lord Oguma? Somebody got Talys peerage.

And Somebody needs to get on my team.

The revengening!

Iron's a strategic choice here: Marth holds back so he doesn't get murdered by the horde.

I'll have Cecil take point while Alan gets into position. I'd like to not level Marth TOO much without him having Cancer.

Yes, you read that right.

Cecil chop!

...she got hit and didn't crit back. Come again?

This is very quickly becoming the Cecil Level.

Cecil goes in for the kill.

Marth was... hopefully going to eat that Archer.

I just need one of three to miss!

No joy yet...

SKL LCK WLV MHP. At least his Avo is one higher now. That will make a huge difference.

Marth is officially at the Archer's mercy now.

...he had a kill on Marth, and didn't take it.

Excuse me, my sides have gone into fucking orbit.

I've designated a certain lady (not naming names!) to go down and ORKO Thief spawns with her trusty Slim Lance.

...even though an Iron Sword would be just as good, and would let her fight on mountains... eh, once she eats these two, she'll go to that tactic.

REVENGE MURDER!

Charge, Cecil, charge~!

Little Miss Jailbait was exposed for a moment there!

Let the reaping begin!!

...of course.

The non-aggression is most peculiar. Burning a Silver charge so she doesn't get killed by four counters.

Ahhhh. None of that pesky dodging business.

SKL, LCK, WLV.

...for the love of God, if you turn into both Kain and Abel at once I will smite you.

Yeah, I thought so.

At least doubling with Silver Lance and/or Lady Sword will one-round for quite awhile, u-ho!

Holy hell, Mallesia, are you gonna be New Rena?

...oh Lord.

Next chapter: will we learn more about this strange Hardon?

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 2 Chapter 2]

WE'RE TOTALLY GONNA GET MINERVA FOR CHAPTER 3!

CHRIST FUCKING A KUMQUAT IT IS TOO EARLY IN THE GAME TO BE DEALING WITH THIS SHIT.

OFFICIALLY BRINGING EVERYONE.

She's no Minerva, but she's hands-down the best unit in this game. Pretty swell chick.

She comes earlier and at a higher level, with wtfJesus growths. 'nuff said.

Somehow, the archers are in the back! That's pretty weak shit!

Can you say "bait for Martha"?

NOT WORTH IT

AUGH MOTHERFUCKER

I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU IRON.

Not the Macedondon rebels!

"Katua is well-known for white knighting on Internet forums."

STR LCK WLV MHP.

TOTALLY WORTH NOT WAITING FOR THE SHARDS.

There's a reason I'm willing to turtle a little.

Manster tactician! Which is to say, everyone's gonna die.

PAIN.

Cecil: one-rounding shit with Iron (complete with unnecessary crits!) since five minutes ago.

She'd be going the Way of Hardin if she was more BUFF.

Thankfully, she's not. Yet.

"Look--he's very suspicious of that Vulnerary. I mean, who would grab a used Vulnerary?"

Yay, Katua can go do shit now!

Warren over base Hunter:

+3 HP

+1 Str

+1 Skl

+1 Lck

...he's pretty shit.

"He's pretty fly."

No, that's Katua.

...and 10% Speed. 'nuff said.

Let's have some Fun!

BETTER THAN EXPECTED 10/10

RODY

WHY DO YOU HAVE THE SAME STR AND DEF

AS A LEVEL ONE SOCIAL KNIGHT

C'MON MAN

Karma's a bitch. Missing a 97: just part o' th'game.

CRITBLICKING: TIME TO HAVE SOME RAPE.

HEY LOOK

A STR LEVEL!

AND SPEED NOT THAT CECIL CARES ANYMORE

AND A SLOPPY SCREENCAP

OH GOD NO

HARDIN MODE: UNLOCKED

Loldiers: GG them.

Alan is afraid of this guy.

...and apparently 20-Wt Javelins makes him good for feeding. I hadn't realized that.

...welp. WARREN COST ME A LADY SWORD.

THE LADY SWORD

UNTIL I DON'T GIVE AN EIGHTH OF A FUCK ABOUT THEM ANYMORE.

Katua ate a Soldier

Gyazo ate my screencap.

THIS WAS WHOLLY NECESSARY.

"Cecil thirsts for blood!"

I had nobody else to feed this to.

What'd we join the army for, Gordon?

I dunno, Ryan. I got benched after the third map, too.

"Join the army, they said. Shoot whatever you want, they said!"

DOGA GETS A KILL!

This is gonna be fun.

Wrong kind of knight!

DOGA HAS CHIPPED THIS BOSS EFFECTIVELY.

...11 damage, you worthless little toad? Really?

THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY CLUTCH

Marth doesn't double and shit went wrong anyway. WALL OF BODIES or something.

DOGA REFUSES TO DIE QUIETLY

"Luke's really good in this game."

I blame Dracos being stupid.

THANKS FOR THE CRIT

WE NEEDED THAT.

CRITS

DOESN'T LEVEL

WARREN YOU LITTLE SHIT

Soloing with Silver!Katua: Not efficient, but certainly fun.

Sadly, Marth has broken rollerskates. I'LL GET HIM A NEW PAIR.

IN THE DESERT.

Dodge-crit? FE3, you are weird. Christ.

...I think I just got an erection.

AN ERECTION FOR THE PRESIDENCY

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Hey, it's a stripper!

I mean--Linde! Even better!

"The guy that's talking now is the stripper?"

Jagen: "I'm not gay, but twenty bucks is twenty bucks."

Edited December 31, 2013 by Terrador

[Terrador]

[spoiler=Book 2 Chapter 3]

...WHY ARE THERE TEN DRACOS AND A GENERAL.

Asked and answered.

Hopefully, I get Minerva this map...

Y'KNOW WHAT? GOOD ENOUGH.

"Japan's favorite game."

He keeps saying this and I don't know why.

RUNNING AWAY

NAME OF THE GAME

NO! A RAINDROP!

"I'm siiiiiiiingin' in the Rain!"

Okay, this should go off without a--

SHE MISSED!

1) OH FUCK IT'S THE MICHELIN MAN

2) Yaranaika.

3) I'd say he has cancer, so he can do whatever he wants--but sadly, it's Taurus.

"The Thief fell down."

...*screaming intensifies*

Going left: tedious, but safe!

Fun day for Paola? Fun day for Paola.

"Why is it that most of the units in this game don't wear pants?"

Sex as a distraction, probably.

...pretty sure this isn't how this map is supposed to be played.

And pretty sure I don't care.

DAT DODGE

Let the reaping begin!!

"As you can see, I've put it in a small bag for your convenience."

"Uhm, sir, we don't have any woodcu--"

...alrighty then. He knows.

I GET THE FEELING THAT I'VE MADE A BAD DECISION.

"This is even worse than a Shin level. What do you call that?"

It's a "fuck off Paola this is not necessary" level.

...but with those bases, can I really give a fuck?

I'm not sure how these guys aggro, so I'm just going to wait until my bows and NUKEMAGE get here, then wipe the floor.

"And then little Ryan brings up the rear."

Yaranaika?

"She could be doing this with a Broken Sword, then that'd be really impressive."

No, fuck off.

Did you think you were getting away that easily?

FEED MY BLOODLUST, MORTALS!

...you have a 50% Str growth. Maybe proc that? Pretty-please?

LET'S DO IT!

See, normally, this would be bad.

"Remember that good ol' chapter from Book 1 with the million reinforcements?"

BOOM HEADSHOT

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS AI WILL DO

AND IT'S KIND OF SCARING ME.

...pretty please?

Y'know what? Strength. I'm okay with it.

C'MON YOU BITCHES

I AM IN THE RANGE OF ALL FOUR

AGGRO ALREADY!

...I swear I'm gonna do this to my M803 PCs.

Plus RES and MHP.

...alrighty then.

Paola, are you quite done sponging EXP?

IT'S NOT OGRE YET

You'd better attack.

THERE WE G--

I... alright, then.

36 Iron Sword hits. Dear GOD.

...nobody wins when you start getting on large animals and stabbing each other.

Didn't you die?

...come to think... didn't everyone die?

Julian's actually good this game!

"Something more for Ricardo to be proud of."

Chips!

Almost to promotion level. Oh, did we not mention?

THIS EXISTS.

LIVE DANGEROUSLY!

Whoa, Cecil. Whoa.

...remind me why I'm using you.

NOT EVEN STRENGTH.

RENA II

KEEP BEING GREAT

CECIL REQUIRES FOOD

SO SHE CAN BECOME ALAN WITH GROWTHS.

SHE AND MARF

DOING SO MUCH DAMAGE

This is after STR SPE WLV. Yeah. He's not great.

Woo! She totally needed these stats! Not STR or DEF or HP, but--

"And yet she's still one of your best units."

...dammit, he's right.

AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE.

This ends well for that Social Knight.

OH GOD DON'T TURN INTO ABEL

THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR BOOK ONE QUOTE

CHRIST MAN STOP GETTING DRAFTED.

SUCH CLUTCH REINFORCE

MATTHIS SYNDROME UBERTIER

OH MY GOD

I'M GOING

TO DIE OF LAUGHTER

TOTALLY WORTH ACTUALLY RECRUITING HIM

So that's why you did it, you prick!

In Alex's words: I recruited a Javelin!

SKL LCK DEF HP

Weirdest mage level? Yup.

This is why we have nice things.

"Look at her hair. She's going Super Saiyan."

Da-damn, she's strong!

Oh shit bitches this just got Sirius.

LET'S FINISH THIS.

NOW? NOW. OKAY THEN.

VENGEANCE!

*flex*

CECIL, FINISH HIM!

"Let's hope she doesn't die or something."

Barely three-shotting with an effective weapon?

Ryan, let's face it. You're shit.

CHIPS

MUST CHIP MORE

DAMMIT ABEL

I NEED A BETTER MAGIC-BOT THAN THIS

LITERALLY EVERYONE WAS REQUIRED.

WE LOST MALLESIA

BUT WE GOT THIS

THREE PALADINS NEXT MAP

WOOOOOOOOOOO.