I have trouble conversing at university.

[Knight]

So, I'm a first year at uni and I've been here for a while and I have made very few acquaintances. I feel that part of the problem is because I suck at initiating conversation, I just can't seem to talk to people. When I was a high school this wasn't much of a problem cause I had a small class and I felt I knew my classmates well, completely different situation now. There are so many people here that I know absolutely nothing about, it's very... Intimidating. How do I start a conversation? How do I maintain one? When and where? I was hoping you guys would have some advice since I'm sure a lot of people here have experience.

[Shin]

Join societies, go drinking with people in halls, attend events. It's pretty hard to not bump into people you like unless you permanently hide in your room. It's a little daunting, but it gets easier.

[Ansem]

ask them about their majors and shit, but dont ask them about their year. that is such a freshmen thing to do and you create a sort of division if you are speaking to an upperclassmen. like shin said, join a few clubs, though it is perfectly possible to have a healthy social life without going to parties/drinking and all so if you're not into that you do not need to start.

[Ein]

Find the game room then beat the crap out of people in games.

Or get destroyed.

Either way works.

[Phoenix Wright]

ask them about their majors and shit, but dont ask them about their year. that is such a freshmen thing to do and you create a sort of division if you are speaking to an upperclassmen. like shin said, join a few clubs, though it is perfectly possible to have a healthy social life without going to parties/drinking and all so if you're not into that you do not need to start.

if it's the first couple of weeks of the quarter/semester, i'd say it's completely okay. about halfway in the term, though, the question should pretty much be irrelevant.

op, my two choices were/are:

1. say hello/smile to/at random folks whilst passing by--it makes you less nervous when speaking to people in other social settings.

2. if alone, sit with a random group of people in the dining hall. it's a little awkward if everyone's already settled in, but during the first couple of weeks of school, this is perfect. it worked out really well for me.

then, of course, as others have said: join stuff! seek out clubs that cater to your interests and you'll find people along the way, guaranteed.

as for keeping up conversation, it depends on what you are. it's clear that you're more of a listener (like me), so you probably want to listen to them and ask more questions as they go, talking about yourself a little as conversation naturally happens. in big groups, conversation is held rather easily.

Edited October 15, 2014 by Phoenix Wright

[EricaofRenais]

The thing about collage is that people are figuring things out during that time and while I will talk to classmates and people who talk to me I tend to not want to be outgoing like I was as a kid and most of the time the people you hang out with in collage you end up losing touch with after the class you have together is over. I am not going to collage right now because I have not figured out my major but I have been there and I know you need to be outgoing and friendly just don't expect to become really good friends with people you meet in class unless you really hit it off with them but it is nice to be able to talk to the people in class while you wait for the prof or if you need a partner in class, just be friendly and be nice and it should work out.

[Knight]

Join societies, go drinking with people in halls, attend events. It's pretty hard to not bump into people you like unless you permanently hide in your room. It's a little daunting, but it gets easier.

Can't drink yet (and have no current plans to) but that's some good info.

ask them about their majors and shit, but dont ask them about their year. that is such a freshmen thing to do and you create a sort of division if you are speaking to an upperclassmen. like shin said, join a few clubs, though it is perfectly possible to have a healthy social life without going to parties/drinking and all so if you're not into that you do not need to start.

Thanks for the advice, won't make that mistake. I don't plan to do any drinking and partying anyways.

Find the game room then beat the crap out of people in games.

Or get destroyed.

Either way works.

I'll have to do some scouting to see if we have one. Thanks.

if it's the first couple of weeks of the quarter/semester, i'd say it's completely okay. about halfway in the term, though, the question should pretty much be irrelevant.

op, my two choices were/are:

1. say hello/smile to/at random folks whilst passing by--it makes you less nervous when speaking to people in other social settings.

2. if alone, sit with a random group of people in the dining hall. it's a little awkward if everyone's already settled in, but during the first couple of weeks of school, this is perfect. it worked out really well for me.

then, of course, as others have said: join stuff! seek out clubs that cater to your interests and you'll find people along the way, guaranteed.

as for keeping up conversation, it depends on what you are. it's clear that you're more of a listener (like me), so you probably want to listen to them and ask more questions as they go, talking about yourself a little as conversation naturally happens. in big groups, conversation is held rather easily.

This sounds like really good advice, I'll have to put it to practice, thanks a lot.

One issue I face is that I don't live on residence, I don't even live in the same city as my university so I have to go to and leave at specific times, which really narrow my options for attending clubs and events. I feel like I'm at a social disadvantage.

[Cancer Lancer]

Or you can be like me and sulk and tell everyone you hate everything and give people the finger a lot.

Strangely enough I made friends like that.

[MercyWalk]

So, I'm a first year at uni and I've been here for a while and I have made very few acquaintances. I feel that part of the problem is because I suck at initiating conversation, I just can't seem to talk to people. When I was a high school this wasn't much of a problem cause I had a small class and I felt I knew my classmates well, completely different situation now. There are so many people here that I know absolutely nothing about, it's very... Intimidating. How do I start a conversation? How do I maintain one? When and where? I was hoping you guys would have some advice since I'm sure a lot of people here have experience.

Ignore the rest of what you said in that post, what I bolded is really all you need because they don't know shit about you either, which makes for great conversation itself, and if you're stuck on that, just move to a topic everyone basically knows about, current movies, news, the immediate surroundings or similar classes. If you're actually that afraid to make contact with ANYONE, look for visual hints on what peoples interests are if you have to, or if you overhear people talking about your own interests don't be afraid to talk to them about it, you just have to introduce yourself and say that you overheard them.

Humans were made for social interaction, just don't think about it too much.

[Belisarius]

I don't plan to do any drinking and partying anyways.

what are you paying for college for then?