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Valentine's Day Oneshot: Saving the Dove


Dragoncat
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Contest entry for Fire Emblem Club on Deviant Art! Theme is write a love themed oneshot fanfic for Valentine's Day...had to be canon characters, but I couldn't resist throwing in some OC references. Enjoy and post comments in this thread.

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What had happened the day before had floored just about everybody in both mercenary groups. Boyd, the hotheaded axe warrior of the Greil Mercenaries, had gotten down on one knee in front of one of the wyvern rider siblings that led the Whitefires and proposed to her. Even Cerai was shocked...she had been seeing him as just another ally for the longest time. She enjoyed his company and they often bantered back and forth like an old married couple, but...she apparently hadn't seen that as love until now. She said yes to him and made a joke about the vulnerary she had lent him the other day: "There must've been something weird in that! ...I'm joking. Of course...I'll marry you."

Boyd's older brother Oscar and Cerai's twin brother Leo had both acted like they knew it would happen eventually. Oscar gave the couple a congratulations. Leo did too, and told Boyd: "Welcome to the family, you green haired dork. I'm warning you, we can be crazy, but no turning back now, right?"

To the youngest Greil Mercenary brother, the whole thing took a different form after the initial shock. His first thought was one day he would be called Uncle Rolf, and that would be awesome, and he was looking forward to it. But his second thought...filled him with emotions he was having trouble understanding. On one hand, he wanted what his big brother now had. On the other hand, the fact that he was starting to think of the friend he'd had as long as he could remember as much more than a mere friend was a little scary.

He must've been desperate. Any other time he would be hesitant to ask for Boyd's advice. All he usually did was call him names like "runt" and tease him. And he was probably going to do that again...but Rolf mustered up his courage and approached the only one he felt could help him.

Boyd was relaxing after a sparring session. Rolf had passed Mia on the way in, she had a few bruises, but nothing bleeding. Sparring matches usually followed the "first one to draw blood wins" rule. Since Boyd had blood oozing from his shoulder, Mia had obviously won. And now she was bugging Ike for a match. That woman had way too much energy for her own good.

"Damn, for a scrawny girl, she hits hard." Boyd wiped his wound with a wet rag. "You look disturbed, runt...what's the matter?"

There it was. "Runt" again...but that wasn't going to change any time soon. Rolf hoped someday he would be less...runty. Maybe he'd bulk up with age...but for now, he would have to tolerate that nickname.

He took a deep breath and spoke. "Yesterday, when you proposed...it got me thinking."

"Oh gods. Are you already making plans for being an uncle? Way too early for that...I mean it'll happen, but I don't want to think about it yet. At the moment it's not even the least bit possible."

"No." Rolf shook his head. "I need your advice...there's this girl I like..."

"It's Mist, isn't it?"

Rolf's eyes widened. "How did you..."

"Pretty obvious. Mia and Titania are too old for you. And a random villager is out of the question too, I can't see you sneaking around behind everyone's backs. That's not you. You'd be so afraid of getting caught that you'd act different." Boyd chuckled. "Frankly, I was wondering if you've ever be brave enough to make a move..." He paused, then added: "And by that I don't mean ask her to marry you. Wait a few years, you're only sixteen for crying out loud."

"I...wasn't planning on that. How do I tell if she likes me back, how do I...make a move?"

"Spend as much time with her as you can. Don't stress too much over it, be yourself. Find a common ground. Small talk works wonders. When the time comes, you'll know what to do." Boyd gave Rolf a friendly hair ruffle. "I'm no love expert, honestly...but I do know this: keep it simple, stupid. And that's all the advice I can give you..."

Rolf thanked him, then went outside to look for Mist. He didn't have to go far, because she was talking to Ike in the backyard of the fort. She looked upset.

"I'm pretty sure there's nothing we can do for the poor little thing."

"But we can't just leave it to die!"

Rolf walked over. Mist had something in her hands. A closer look revealed that it was a baby bird. He frowned. "Poor thing...where'd you find it?"

"On the ground by that tree over there." Mist gestured toward a nearby tree. "Ike thinks we should let it die!"

"I'm sure there's been countless more of those...and I bet they're not flying around now. Nature can be cruel. But look at it this way: now a fox or something won't have to worry about going hungry." Ike said. "Now if I don't meet Mia in the front with a sword in like a minute, I'll never hear the end of it..."

Mist watched him leave. "No. A fox will just have to find something else to eat. I'm going to save this baby...I just don't know how."

Find a common ground... Boyd's advice echoed in Rolf's head. He also felt sorry for the bird...that counted as a common ground, didn't it? After a moment of thinking, he got an idea. "How close was it to the bottom of the tree?"

"Pretty close, why?"

Rolf approached the tree and looked up into the branches. "I can see the nest. I can probably climb up there and put it back in."

"Really?" Mist's face lit up.

Rolf nodded. "Really. Give it to me and I'll do that."

Mist looked up and saw the nest. "That looks pretty high..."

"Hey, Shinon didn't just teach me how to shoot. An archer needs to know how to climb too, that's what he said anyway..." Rolf smiled. "I'll probably need both hands though. And I'm not wearing anything with pockets...that might be a problem."

"Here, use this." Mist gave him her scarf. "Make a sling out of it. It'll be better than nothing."

He scaled the tree with ease, and reached the nest and placed the baby bird in it. There were two more in there. They looked at him with their beady little eyes, like they were wondering what this strange creature was that had just rescued their sibling.

"I think those are the parents!" Mist called from the bottom of the tree. "Hurry, get down!"

Sure enough, there were two doves circling above, and they landed in the nest as soon as Rolf was completely out of the tree. "Doves are a symbol of love..." His face turned red when he realized he had said that out loud.

"Yeah, and?" Mist raised one eyebrow.

"...I like you, Mist. I mean, LIKE YOU like you."

She blinked, then hugged him. "I...feel the same way about you. I was too scared to say anything..."

"Well, so much for Mia's winning streak." Ike walked over with a pleased look on his face. It quickly changed to a confused look when he saw Rolf and Mist hugging. "...Oh, there HAS to be a story behind this."

They were a little embarrassed, but they managed to tell him the story. "Wow." Ike smiled and patted them both on the shoulders. "You know what else they say about doves? They're the form that angels take sometimes..." One of the doves hopped to an outer branch, and Ike thought the way it was looking at him was familiar. The strong and kind look in its eyes just screamed Greil...both of the birds flew away after a few seconds.

"You proved me wrong, Mist. I'm proud of you. You too, Rolf. You two will make a great couple. Just...don't try anything...crazy until you're at least eighteen." The red faces when they realized what he meant told him they wouldn't. He smiled and turned in the direction that the doves had flown. They were out of sight. Greil and Elena had probably removed their spirits from the birds by now...when they returned they would be mere wild animals again.

But he was certain his parents were proud too.

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One of the best, huh? Glad to hear it!

The dove idea came from two separate experiences I've had, once I found one that had fallen out of the nest and broke its feet and I tried to save it. Didn't work :( And one Christmas morning I saw two doves outside my window and I'm sure they were my late grandparents.

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A reasonable attempt, I'm glad that you're improving. There's quite a few things that could probably deal with addressing but I'll save that for a time when I'm not about to go to bed. It's not that there are horrendous mistakes, but more aspects that need some refinement.

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A reasonable attempt, I'm glad that you're improving. There's quite a few things that could probably deal with addressing but I'll save that for a time when I'm not about to go to bed. It's not that there are horrendous mistakes, but more aspects that need some refinement.

...I'm all for constructive criticism but...seriously? I didn't ask for a lot of critique. If it's grammar though...I guess.

Edited by Dragoncat
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One rule of thumb that I've learned when posting my art and writing on the net, Dragoncat, is that you're almost always going to end up with at least one critique filled response, whether you want it or not. xP

Even on DA, I've gotten critique every now and then.

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Same here. I hate when people just say 'this is wrong, that's wrong, kthxbai." It's kind of discouraging, really. Giving constructive critique is one thing, but yeah. You could AT LEAST say if the person has potential or say something you liked about it along with pointing out the flaws and things that should be corrected. I feel that gives the writer/artist more reason to use the critique and improve. And it encourages them.

Edited by Anacybele
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Rolf finally gets the girl. YES! At last! Now to hope Ike and Mia get together... Also, FYI, Mia isn't 'too old' for Rolf. Not in that sense at least. She is older than him but, by the time RD comes around, it looks like Mia is in her late teens/early 20's while Rolf is in his mid-teens (Mia was clearly a teen in PoR and filled out before RD. Mist was clearly young but definitely is in her mid-teens come RD. If Rolf is close to her age he's likely in at least nipping distance of Mia). Rolf might have to wait a few years, but Mia is NOT too old for him. Not that it matters since I like IkeXMia anyways...

*cough* Just wanted to point out that fact error. *cough*

Good piece of work and nice to see some creative juices flowing around. I need to get back to work on my thing at some point, but every time I remember to do so it's 2 A.M. and I just finished a pile of paperwork and/or RP posts and am spent.

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Sorry, Dragoncat ships Ike x Elincia, like me. :P

I hate Ike x Mia anyway. I dun like her and she's ugly compared to other options Ike could pick from, imo.

Edited by Anacybele
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...I'm all for constructive criticism but...seriously? I didn't ask for a lot of critique. If it's grammar though...I guess.

There are things that you've done right, but I'm a firm believer of diplomatically giving advice. It's unreasonable to expect only entirely positive comments. I will get around to posting the actual critique but my schedule hasn't permitted it just yet.

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There are things that you've done right, but I'm a firm believer of diplomatically giving advice. It's unreasonable to expect only entirely positive comments. I will get around to posting the actual critique but my schedule hasn't permitted it just yet.

Dude. There is a time for giving advise and telling a person how to improve, and there is a time to just sit back and enjoy the story. This is the latter.

Edit: Let me explain better. This is something DC wrote as a holiday special, an 'extra treat' if you will, and was under 0 obligations to post even by the standards of her own fanfic. She is basically giving you a free cookie and you're telling her she could put more M&M's in it. Even if its true this isn't the time for it. Just sit back and enjoy your cookie.

Edited by Snowy_One
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Thanks for the nice comments Snowy. And I agree, there's a time for criticism and a time for not. EDIT - I love the cookie analogy xD Yeah, that sums it up...it's for a contest though. But that still stands. They're not going to judge with that critical of an eye. Or at least I hope they don't. Judging will be done by the members of the DA group instead of just the mods. It's just "vote for your favorites". Not "vote for the one that has the least grammar/whatever mistakes"

Meh, early 20s to me is still a big gap if he's in mid teens.

Edited by Dragoncat
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Dude. There is a time for giving advise and telling a person how to improve, and there is a time to just sit back and enjoy the story. This is the latter.

Enjoy and post comments in this thread.

I believe this entitles me to say what I think about it. Unless of course by comment it means praise without daring posting anything otherwise lest face the wrath of die-hard fans.

[spoiler=Opinion in short]

- Generally well written and punctuated.

- Little deviation from established characterisation (something a lot of authors struggle with)

- Fits the theme of the contest.

- Wording and phrasing can be awkward, especially when referring to people as "the something".

- Some sentences are too long and could probably do with being split.

- Some dialogue doesn't flow too well

Whilst it's not perfect, it's not like the piece of terrible by any means. I'd be looking forward to you developing as a writer, it would be a real shame if you stayed stagnant.

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Okay. That's reasonable...thanks for not just saying what was bad. To use Snowy's analogy, maybe the next cookie will have more M&Ms.

You are welcome to post what's bad about it as long as you also say what's good, which you've done, so you're fine. And...it doesn't need to be perfect enough to be published like a novel. It's fanfic for one, and fanfics generally can't be published like that. Also, even published original fiction can have flaws. It depends on who reads it and what they think can be better.

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Exactly, you'll learn from both the good and bad. Whilst some critics may be a little less kind in their wording, I'd strongly advise against simply ignoring or disallowing comments - all it does is prevent growth and change.

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Yes, that's exactly what I believe, Shin, but every time I've tried to explain this to some people, they just tell me I want everything sugarcoated. Which is just not true. People seem to think saying ANYTHING good about someone's work is bad and that someone requesting some positive feedback along with the critique is just fishing for compliments. It's dumb. You're totally right, you can learn from both the good and the bad.

Pointing out the good tells you what you're doing right. You can leave that stuff alone and enjoy knowing that you're doing it right.

Pointing out the bad shows you where you should improve. It's as simple as that.

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