Esme Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 It all happened too fast. She was digging a hole with her new shovel, because that's what girls do. Girls dig that. They dig the dirt, the treasure, and the thrill of discovery. Archaeology equals harmony, and she was built for spelunking. So there she was, out in an open field in dry-ass New Arizonatopia, United Stations. With shovel in hand and hard hat on head, she dug up the earth-- with dusty knees and dirty face --until... clunk! ...and then her whole world changed in an instant. She discovered a forgotten kingdom: Proto-California. The ancient "surfer dude" still riding on the underground waves and chilling with his bros on the shores of his subterranean beach, sipping craft beer from that-one-place-that-one-guy-owns-whom-we-visited-last-summer. But nobody can discern "who" from "whom" these days. "There ain't no sun, brah, but I've still got my girl to mack on. Ain't that right, babe?" She couldn't un-see what she had just witnessed (It was burned into her retinas.), nor could she un-smell it: Dank hops and sun lotion. "They were supposed to be sealed away! No... no...!" She ran back home as fast as her legs could take her. Her father stepped out of the doorway, his laser shotgun held steadfast in both his hands. "It's over." "It's fuckin' over." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 shit it's fuckin' over Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 5/7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 shit it's fuckin' over 5/7 CLOSE your windows Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 I refuse to end up like China Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midori Mage Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Uh... I... this does not compute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 Uh... I... this does not compute. it's not even real man GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twice Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 5/7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specta Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 is this encino man 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 is this encino man 2 O M G THIS IS LEGIT BEST ANSWER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Masayoshi Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 im scared Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 im scared What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Life is that you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 actually it's jarly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Masayoshi Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.your memes don't scare me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blyegg Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 5/7 so 1 week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 esme just because you like memes doesn't mean you can flaunt it everywhere now go back to eat your peas you god damn crazy bastard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted December 21, 2015 Author Share Posted December 21, 2015 esme just because you like memes doesn't mean you can flaunt it everywhere now go back to eat your peas you god damn crazy bastard Yes, dad... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral "Bull" Halsey Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 ಠ_ಠ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I'm writing a hit new big-budget kid-focused comedy for Hollywood. It's called Mars Needs Memes and I can't really take this joke any further because that mental image actually kind of makes me want to throw up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarinets Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I am trained in gorilla warfare It's guerilla. Your move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specta Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 It's guerilla. Your move. what if he means he does war like a gorilla won't your face be red Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 It's guerilla. Your move. wow you sure showed the guy who made the original comment from the year of our lord 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarinets Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 what if he means he does war like a gorilla won't your face be red Actually that makes sense. I'd believe the comment would do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 It's guerilla. Your move. christ you levelled his house man the guy had a family, how could he make such an honest, unintentional mistake in a serious post that he, austin, sf dot net user, wrote? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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