Crazy Foxie Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Hello, this is the feedback forum in respect of The Wolf Complex. As stated, any and all comments, feedback and criticism would be hugely appreciated :) I try to update weekly as a personal project since I am a brilliant procrastinator and I'm on a mission to change that! The first chapter was also submitted for the Serenes Forest Scribbles, which worked as a stand-alone chapter but is now turning into a bit of an epic that I would like to share with as many people as possible. Please let me hear your comments and let me know how I can improve. Thank you~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hezul Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 ~Hello! I really enjoyed the story so far. Given that Wolf doesn't have much of a background or a personality, this was a good interpretation. I really liked that you wrote about a character who is overlooked by a good chunk of the fanbase :-) You wrote Wolf exactly how one would expect him to feel towards the people around him after he was freed. Although, I was slightly confused by what was going on when Wolf was having a bath, his reactions were very realistic. As for criticism, I really don't have much to comment on except for some minor grammatical errors and some history about Wolf's childhood or the relationship he had with some of the other slaves at the Pelham Estate would be nice to see. Though, what did become of the other slaves that were at the Pelhams? Thank you for a great read! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 First off, thank you so much for taking the time to write such detailed comments! Wolfguard seems to be very popular in Japan, but somehow that doesn't stretch into the culture here. I've noticed that a lot of people generally prefer the Whitewing sisters, who to me seem bland in comparison. Needless to say because of the type of fic it is, it means a great deal to me that you're reading, so thank you! As for criticism, I really don't have much to comment on except for some minor grammatical errors and some history about Wolf's childhood or the relationship he had with some of the other slaves at the Pelham Estate would be nice to see. Though, what did become of the other slaves that were at the Pelhams? Haha, this is precisely what I get for diving into this. I'll certainly give this some thought...this is slight oversight on my part but can be rectified. Thank you for the outsider's opinion though, this really helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 How far do you plan to take the story? Will it chronicle Wolf's entire life up to and including Hardin's turn to darkness? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 Hardin's turn to darkness is a pivotal and important factor and I fully intend to get there eventually. The only thing I can't decide at this stage is whether to take FE3 or FE12's ending, but it ultimately won't change anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 It'll be interesting to see the early years of the first war from a non Altean perspective too. I assume you've already planned for and worked in Hardin's appearances in Akaneia saga too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 OMG, you're actually doing it~! Actual question: How closely do you want to follow canon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 I had briefly touched on the Akaneian Saga on my plan. For the most part it seems self-explanatory, but I'm sure I could add more to it because Minerva is one of my favourites :) I do want to look into the pre-war politics as well, Hardin's relationship with his brother and other royalty at that time, so Nyna's parents, young Marth...but I'll leave it there! If I had to say, I would estimate about 80% of the fic will be pre-FE1. I've also updated the intro post on the fic to this effect. I also just noticed I didn't specifically state this isn't yaoi...! For the record I'm not heading that way (because the latest chapter could have serious implications of this, so I thought I'd make that clear now). OMG, you're actually doing it~!Actual question: How closely do you want to follow canon? Yeah, this personal mission is slowly but surely making progress! Err...good question. I was actually seriously considering this because of Jotari's question last week. Generally speaking I want to stick to canon as much as possible. I love trying to make canon universes make sense - it's a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. Plus I need Hardin to turn evil, so everything up until then should line up. After that, well, that would ruin the ending, wouldn't it? Whichever one I go for, anyway. I really appreciate you reading the updates and commenting though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julius Nepos Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Hi, I just wanted to say, I've been following this since the Scribbles contest and I've really been enjoying it so far. I especially like how you're working the future Wolfguard members into the story (and am looking forward to seeing what you'll do with Roshea). Out of sheer curiosity, I'd like to ask how in-depth you intend to go with the events of FE1. Since that part of the story already has a more well-known and more narrowly defined canon, it could probably be told at a quicker pace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted April 26, 2016 Author Share Posted April 26, 2016 Funny you should mention Roshea - I may or may not already have plans for him :) There's definitely a few more things I need to do with him away from the main group for the moment, but at least he's in the story now. In respect of FE1, as you say it's fairly obvious how the game pans out and I'll probably sail past that one. It won't nearly be as in depth as this one as there are probably not many scenes that can take place outside what people already know. Aurelis was reclaimed fairly early in the game, and the rest of the game is a bit of a Marth show and doesn't really hit home for the Wolfguard lot. Thank you for reading though. It gives me a lot of motivation to keep going at the pace I'm aiming towards (although I did get a bit slack this week). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moblin Major General Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 How close is this to the War of Shadows? you mention Roshea being barely older than a child, and in FE1/11 he's at least 16/17. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 (edited) In respect of FE1, as you say it's fairly obvious how the game pans out and I'll probably sail past that one. It won't nearly be as in depth as this one as there are probably not many scenes that can take place outside what people already know. Aurelis was reclaimed fairly early in the game, and the rest of the game is a bit of a Marth show and doesn't really hit home for the Wolfguard lot. That's really the sort of stuff the Gaidens should have focused on in Shadow Dragon instead of slaughter half your army to get completely unimportant new characters (though admittedly Horace' story was kind of interesting and tied in nicely with the main plot. The others, not so much). Edited April 26, 2016 by Jotari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 How close is this to the War of Shadows? you mention Roshea being barely older than a child, and in FE1/11 he's at least 16/17. In respect of chapter 14, I mentally had Roshea at around 15. Considering that he generally looks young for his age, I figured that Wolf wouldn't even attempt to put an age to him (considering he has no real aspect of age in the first place) and just think he looks younger than the others. Sorry if the wording is confusing! I haven't decided the time difference, but I'm putting this at around 5 years before FE1/War of Darkness (War of Shadows is FE3, iirc). I confess not knowing much about military prowess, but I'm assuming you need a few years' training under your belt to be a promoted unit by the time of FE1. @Jotari: I agree with what you're saying, especially with the requirements for the Gaidens. Athena for me could potentially be a very interesting character (much like Xane, where their origins aren't really expanded/developed). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julius Nepos Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 You switched from "Aurelis" to "Orleans" in chapter 17. Is there a particular reason for that or is it a possible oversight? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted May 30, 2016 Author Share Posted May 30, 2016 Oh, thanks for picking that up! That was a mix-up on my part; I'll go change everything over. Orleans is actually Aurelis' Japanese name :) It's not much of an excuse, but hopefully it clears it up a bit. Next chapter will be up soon. I've looked over it so many times there's probably something glaringly obvious I've overlooked there as well. I really wanted to bring Marth in, but it didn't quite work out so you have to deal with what you've got :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 It's a precarious balance between having too few and too many cameos. It's where the visual medium can shine a lot easier than the written one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 I was seriously wondering if this was still being written just the other day. Keep it up, there's at last one person reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julius Nepos Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 I'm still following it too. Keep up the good work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 Yep, still reading. Not sure how close to canon this'll be when all is said and done, but it's still plenty entertaining! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 Yep, still reading. Not sure how close to canon this'll be when all is said and done, but it's still plenty entertaining! I'm more curious as to which canon. That is will the Wolf Brigade join Marth or stick with Hardain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted July 30, 2016 Author Share Posted July 30, 2016 Wow, it means so much that you're all still reading...! Thank you :3 Sorry the other one took so long to update - the weekends got a bit manic and before I knew it it's nearly August! I do have a 3 week holiday at the end of August, so there definitely won't be any updates then. When all is said and done, I'll have a better idea what fate to give everyone :) The possibilities are endless, which is part of the problem... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 Wow, it means so much that you're all still reading...! Thank you :3 Sorry the other one took so long to update - the weekends got a bit manic and before I knew it it's nearly August! I do have a 3 week holiday at the end of August, so there definitely won't be any updates then. When all is said and done, I'll have a better idea what fate to give everyone :) The possibilities are endless, which is part of the problem... There's only one solution. Turn it into a visual novel! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moblin Major General Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Roshea's turning out to be a pretty solid character. Also, have you read A Murder of Ravens yet? Feel free to give me criticism on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Foxie Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 Ha, loving the idea of a visual novel! I'll make up my mind by the end of it, but we still have a few months yet :) Thanks, I've been meaning to do a bit of Vyland/Roshea for a while. I'll comment on A Murder of Ravens separately (I had to do a bit of reading up on Blazing Sword!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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