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Stephen the Great
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Didn't watch the whole thing but what I did watch was like 7/10. Xenoblade 2, right? It looks so different from Xenoblade 1...

Screenshot_20180203-150702.png

Edited by Dragoncat
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I'm not familiar enough with the Zelda series (well, non-CD-I Zelda anyways) to understand the reference, but even without it, I guess it is still funny. Just... not as funny as an avid Zelda fan would find it. 6.7/10

 

 

Edited by Randoman
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1 hour ago, Randoman said:

I'm not familiar enough with the Zelda series (well, non-CD-I Zelda anyways) to understand the reference, but even without it, I guess it is still funny. Just... not as funny as an avid Zelda fan would find it. 6.7/10

 

 

That skeleton dude, the Hero's Shade, is confirmed to be Ocarina of Time Link. He appears in Twilight Princess to teach the Link there combat skills.

3/10, CD-I Zelda is just CRINGE, sorry :(

How about some Xenoblade? For reference, characters yell out the names of their combat moves and generally run their mouths in battles.

http://woodenplankstudios.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/comic_2017_xenoisebladechronicles-925x1024.gif

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11 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

That skeleton dude, the Hero's Shade, is confirmed to be Ocarina of Time Link. He appears in Twilight Princess to teach the Link there combat skills.

3/10, CD-I Zelda is just CRINGE, sorry :(

How about some Xenoblade? For reference, characters yell out the names of their combat moves and generally run their mouths in battles.

http://woodenplankstudios.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/comic_2017_xenoisebladechronicles-925x1024.gif

10/10 I love this 

Moar Xenoblade 2

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4MjJTZtayNQ

 

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9/10. Reminded me of the joke I'm about to post.

There are three passengers on a plane about to crash, a boy scout, a priest, and a lawyer. But there are only two parachutes available after the pilot jumps out. The lawyer takes one of the parachutes, goes "I'm the smartest man in the world and I need to get to my case!" and jumps out. The priest turns to the boy scout. "I'm an old priest and I'm ready to meet God. You have your whole life ahead of you. Go ahead and take the last parachute." The boy scout smiles and says: "We can both live! The smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack!"

Edited by Dragoncat
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On 2/6/2018 at 2:08 PM, Dragoncat said:

9/10. Reminded me of the joke I'm about to post.

There are three passengers on a plane about to crash, a boy scout, a priest, and a lawyer. But there are only two parachutes available after the pilot jumps out. The lawyer takes one of the parachutes, goes "I'm the smartest man in the world and I need to get to my case!" and jumps out. The priest turns to the boy scout. "I'm an old priest and I'm ready to meet God. You have your whole life ahead of you. Go ahead and take the last parachute. The boy scout smiles and says: "We can both live! The smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack!"

9/10 for good lawyer jokes (we deserve it). Heard a similar one a while bag, except it was a rabbi instead of a boy scout and the priest jumped out of the plane with his tallis bag.

______

Two tigers are stalking through the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front.
The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, already." The rear tiger says, "Sorry," and they continue.
After about another 5 minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!." The rear tiger says, "Sorry," and they continue.
After about another 5 minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?"
The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

Edited by Shoblongoo
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Despite being more tolerant of weirdness and grossness compared to most people, I think that joke crossed my personal line. I do still find it funny, though. 6.4/10

For those unfamiliar with The Flash, the guy in blue is Barry Allen (The Flash) and the guy in gray is Ralph Dibny (Elongated Man, who has the power to stretch his body):

 

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Pretty funny. 8/10. Now something from Soviet history, found in a recently declassified trove of anecdotes found by the CIA in Russia.

A train bearing Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, and Gorbachev stops suddenly when the tracks run out. Each leader applies his own, unique solution. Lenin gathers workers and peasants from miles around and exhorts them to build more track. Stalin shoots the train crew when the train still doesn't move. Khrushchev rehabilitates the dead crew and orders the tracks behind the train ripped up and relaid in front. Brezhnev pulls down the curtains and rocks back and forth, pretending the train is moving. And Gorbachev calls a rally in front of the locomotive, where he leads a chant: "No tracks! No tracks! No tracks!"

And another - you'll have to know some German to understand it fully..

What's the difference between [East German General Secretary] Honecker and a telephone? — None! Hang up and try again. 

                                                                                                                                                  (in German: Keiner: aufhängen, neuwählen!)

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On 2/10/2018 at 12:44 AM, Vytautas the Great said:

Pretty funny. 8/10. Now something from Soviet history, found in a recently declassified trove of anecdotes found by the CIA in Russia.

A train bearing Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, and Gorbachev stops suddenly when the tracks run out. Each leader applies his own, unique solution. Lenin gathers workers and peasants from miles around and exhorts them to build more track. Stalin shoots the train crew when the train still doesn't move. Khrushchev rehabilitates the dead crew and orders the tracks behind the train ripped up and relaid in front. Brezhnev pulls down the curtains and rocks back and forth, pretending the train is moving. And Gorbachev calls a rally in front of the locomotive, where he leads a chant: "No tracks! No tracks! No tracks!"

And another - you'll have to know some German to understand it fully..

What's the difference between [East German General Secretary] Honecker and a telephone? — None! Hang up and try again. 

                                                                                                                                                  (in German: Keiner: aufhängen, neuwählen!)

5/10 its like the ~isms illustrated by dairy cows meme--but with a lot less going on. 

 

On 2/5/2018 at 5:58 PM, Randoman said:

even without the health side effect of drugs, drug humour isn't exactly my cup of tea.

Image result for shaggys weed to dank

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9/10, Shaggy is totally a stoner.

A bear and a rabbit find the magical golden frog that grants six wishes, but since there's two of them, they each get three. The bear goes first. He wishes all the bears in the forest were female. The rabbit wishes for a leather jacket. The bear wishes all the bears in the country were female. The rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. The bear wishes all the bears in the world were female. The rabbit goes "I wish that bear was gay!" and hops on the motorcycle and speeds off.

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9/10; dick move, rabbit.

A boy is bored and clowning around in Sunday school. The nun is busy reading from the book of Genesis and doesn't notice.

The boy pokes the girl in front of him with his pencil. She discreetly tells him to knock it off. The boy pokes the girl in front of him a second time with his pencil. A bit more annoyed this time, she in no uncertain terms tells him to fuck off. The boy continues to poke her with his pencil.

"And what did Eve say to Adam in Genesis 2:4-3:24?" the nun asks the class.

Whereafter the girl loudly shouts: "Poke me with that thing one more time--I swear--I'll punch your teeth in!"  


 

Edited by Shoblongoo
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10/10 heard it before only with these two lines added:

"Who created the world?"
"God almighty?"

"Who is our lord and savior?"
"Jesus Christ!"

But it's still gold!

Little Johnny has homework where he has to ask his parents how the government works and report back to the teacher. His dad says "Well imagine this. I'm the president. Your mother is the congress. The maid is the working class. You're the people. Your brother is the future." 

"I don't get it." says Johnny.

"Sleep on it." says his dad. "Maybe you'll figure it out in the morning."

That night Johnny is woken up by the sound of his baby brother crying. He goes into his brother's room and discovers the baby has a poopy diaper. He goes in his mom's room and she's asleep. His dad's room is locked, and the maid appears to be in there with him.

The next day at school when it's Johnny's turn, he says: "The president is screwing the working class, the congress is fast asleep, the people are being ignored, and the future's full of shit!"

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