Post your worst Fire Emblem puns!

[ProfImpossible]

So I had to go to my loColm grocery store to pick up some milk right? But when I get there Vallter they have is this ultra fancy stuff from Franze that's three times the price (even though it was on Saleh) ! I could barely aForde it (Innesmuch as it costed almost as much money as was in my walLute at the time) but after Mouldering it over decided I had to get it. Anyways, after leaving the store I stepped in an unidentifiable sticky substance and quite loudly proclaimed "Ew, an unidentifiable sticky gRoss substance!". This left me dejected and Myrrhthless, but I pressed on!  Artur all, I was only a block from my house by this time, and I was ready to just Dozela off and Lyon my couch. Finally, I arrived back at my humble abode and was filled with a feeling of Syrenety, Knolling I had completed my task. (Though I ended up spending more money than I had thought I would, I promised Myself I would never Duessel again.)

 

[Dragoncat]

1 hour ago, ProfImpossible said:

So I had to go to my loColm grocery store to pick up some milk right? But when I get there Vallter they have is this ultra fancy stuff from Franze that's three times the price (even though it was on Saleh) ! I could barely aForde it (Innesmuch as it costed almost as much money as was in my walLute at the time) but after Mouldering it over decided I had to get it. Anyways, after leaving the store I stepped in an unidentifiable sticky substance and quite loudly proclaimed "Ew, an unidentifiable sticky gRoss substance!". This left me dejected and Myrrhthless, but I pressed on!  Artur all, I was only a block from my house by this time, and I was ready to just Dozela off and Lyon my couch. Finally, I arrived back at my humble abode and was filled with a feeling of Syrenety, Knolling I had completed my task. (Though I ended up spending more money than I had thought I would, I promised Myself I would never Duessel again.)

 

10/10.

[ShadowAlchemist]

Where do the Shepherds pee?

In a toilet Stahl.

[ProfImpossible]

14 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

10/10.

Why thank you. :)

[ProfImpossible]

Please, allow me to regale y'all with another tale of my exploits.

The time: 2:47 PM, The location: the laundromat. 

I'm at my neighborhood Lowendry Walaceshing place (luckily not Jaffar from my house), because I need to wash clothes and don't happen to have a washer/dryer at my home. So I grab the nearest bottle of bargain brand Dartergent (I Kent quite remember the name, I believe it was called "Stellar Lime" or "Limstella" or something) and proceed to employ it in the normal way one does when ridding their garments of dirt. When all of the sudden; I see, out of the corner of my Hawkeyes, some Guy circling in like a Raven. Pretty soon he comes and starts Hectoring me, "Hey! you just used the last of my favorite bargain brand detergent" he growls. This Erked me, and filled me with momentary Rath. But my conscience intervened, "stay Sain, Anger Will get you nowhere; mayhaps you can Batre with this Gentlemen". So I said: "I apologize for using the last of your favorite, but what is done is done. Perhaps I can make it up to you in some way? He stopped in his tracks, "I am taken aback, your kindess Harkens back to a previous age of laundromat etiquette. Forgive me, I acted Karellessly, I had so much Pent up rage that I Karlassly inVaida'd your privacy and took it out on you." He said, in a kindly manner. "Please do not bother yourself, I will Geitz you a new bottle swiftly ".I proclaimed. Later that evening, with my promise fulfilled, and my clothes boasting three kinds of softness and a lemony scent; I slept easy, realizing what a little kindness can do.  

[Res]

Just... wow. That’s pretty incredible, my hat is off to you.

[ProfImpossible]

I'm flattered, but you didn't have to send off your hat to me. I will look forward to it in the mail though. 

I'll be here all week... except for the times I'm not

[ProfImpossible]

Last one for awhile.

My trip to the beach

Aaahhh the beach, such a Wolterfulll place. Sure, It's a bit of a Trec, there are a lot of Chads, and a few total Diecks every once and in awhile, but they mostly keep to themselves (on a good day). Honestly, I don't particularly enjoy swimming (it Bors me a little), I Wade a Lot, but that doesn't really count. I do like the sand and sun though, the smell of Sault in the air (much better than Clarine), It turns me into a Zelot Fir life, I hear exquisite Meladys in my head. I don't Noah place that does exactly the same thing. Anyways, on this most notable trip I arrived at the beach just before the masses. I sat down on my blanket and sipped my Iced Thea, sadly though, people started to show up Ellentually. The sun's Raighs were starting to get intense so I set up my Umbrella and started to put on a little sunscreen (I should've done this earlier, my skin was starting to take on a reddish Hugh but whatever). Sooner or later I felt Like getting in the water, I'm not sure what PreZeissly made me, but you don't go to the beach without going in a little bit. The water nice but too crowded where I wanted to be, after a little bit I went back to my spot, only to find someone had taken it! I mean, Geesze! If you see a blanket and umbrella some place you Klein't just asSueme no ones's there, push it to the side and set up shop! You look somewhere else. For the sake of not babbling on and on lets just say I got this person to move without Lughsing my head to much, but it kinda ruined the whole trip (In Sophiar as I lost all the enthusiasm I previously had) . I left the beach and returned to my house after that, to look through my scrap-book of fonder beach memories, and my  play with my dog...  Zephiel.

[Shoblongoo]

The Week of 4/20 is upon us. Puns shall get dank now: