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"Educated Brigand" Jokes Thread


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Posted

These are quite possibly the best thing to have come out of the recent Three Houses news.

Batta graduated in flying colors with a major in Banditry and a minor in Screaming.

And you cannot comprehend Gonzalez's vast intelligence.

Posted

Marty actually made the Dean's List and graduated summa cum laude.

Posted
4 minutes ago, omegaxis1 said:

Gonzalez graduated with a Major in Pillaging, with a Minor in Raping.

Noooo, he's too gentle for that

Posted
11 minutes ago, Von Ithipathachai said:

Noooo, he's too gentle for that

Look, most people don't really pick their minors based on if they use them. They just go with what looks good on a resume.

Posted
1 minute ago, Slumber said:

Look, most people don't really pick their minors based on if they use them. They just go with what looks good on a resume.

Whew.  Good.  Gonzalez is too pure to be a rapist.

Anyway, I wonder...  What's the punishment for being a criminal without a license?

Posted

We of course know that the Minister of Bandit Education is the notorious Gazak.  His knowledge has spread far and wide across numerous worlds, including the world of Archanea and Fateslandia, and there's even an academy named after him somewhere in the Deep Realms.

If there's anyone who has a degree in Rape, it's obviously Gheb.  Gheb FE is pretty much the brigand scholar's equivalent of Big Brain Academy on the Wii.

Jamke is a brigand school dropout.  If he continued his education, perhaps Verdane would've won the war against Grannvale and he wouldn't have gotten roasted by Alvis in the great Belhalla BBQ of 760.

The reason Augustria lost their war against Grannvale is because Chagall didn't trust in the wisdom of Macbeth, who used his scholarly brethren to procure funds to fight against Grannvale.

And yes, the greatest villain of Fire Emblem: Echoes is, in fact, Grieth the bandit king.  His towering intellect rivals even that of Doctor Robotnik.  How else could he have controlled a quarter of an entire continent without government aid?  He made his network back when he was getting his PhD, son!  And the reason he captured Est was he actually wanted to give her an early education on the finer points of drug dealing.

Posted
11 minutes ago, Ertrick36 said:

We of course know that the Minister of Bandit Education is the notorious Gazak.  His knowledge has spread far and wide across numerous worlds, including the world of Archanea and Fateslandia, and there's even an academy named after him somewhere in the Deep Realms.

If there's anyone who has a degree in Rape, it's obviously Gheb.  Gheb FE is pretty much the brigand scholar's equivalent of Big Brain Academy on the Wii.

Jamke is a brigand school dropout.  If he continued his education, perhaps Verdane would've won the war against Grannvale and he wouldn't have gotten roasted by Alvis in the great Belhalla BBQ of 760.

The reason Augustria lost their war against Grannvale is because Chagall didn't trust in the wisdom of Macbeth, who used his scholarly brethren to procure funds to fight against Grannvale.

And yes, the greatest villain of Fire Emblem: Echoes is, in fact, Grieth the bandit king.  His towering intellect rivals even that of Doctor Robotnik.  How else could he have controlled a quarter of an entire continent without government aid?  He made his network back when he was getting his PhD, son!  And the reason he captured Est was he actually wanted to give her an early education on the finer points of drug dealing.

soothsires academy really went downhill after hyman took charge, the macedon vikings university started to walk all over them in the academy rankings.

Posted
1 minute ago, NobodiePichu said:

soothsires academy really went downhill after hyman took charge, the macedon vikings university started to walk all over them in the academy rankings.

Go Vikings!

Posted
1 minute ago, NobodiePichu said:

soothsires academy really went downhill after hyman took charge, the macedon vikings university started to walk all over them in the academy rankings.

fucking Hyman, I just can't ever get over that name...

Posted

The Orgahil Academy got damn tired of Principal Briggid trying to change the curriculum, the faculty pretty much ousted her.

Posted
4 minutes ago, Acacia Sgt said:

The Orgahil Academy got damn tired of Principal Briggid trying to change the curriculum, the faculty pretty much ousted her.

what can you expect, she tried to ruin their reputation as a reputable school for business and banditry. i mean you couldnt even call that a raping and pillaging class by the time she was done neutering it, and the economics class was a complete sham!

Posted

Nedata is the head of the music department, while Bazba is obviously the PE coach. After all, he is the MIGHTY Bazba.

Posted

Hans is the true adviser for Garon. No other person worked up the ladder of success like he did from freshman bandit to being the right hand of Garon.

Posted

There is one Honors student of Shear Academy only known as the Brigand Boss. Major in sexual education, minor in Axe handling.

Sadly, he died in an accident facing mere villagers.

Posted

There exists on the campus a monument, into which is carved the names of all those brave students who died at the hands of sword-bearing teenagers embarking on transcontinental adventures. They had dreams, darn it!

Posted

The Analects of Shanty Pete is required for all Pirating majors during their freshman seminar, PIRT104:The Pirate in You

Posted
1 hour ago, Solvaij said:

The Analects of Shanty Pete is required for all Pirating majors during their freshman seminar, PIRT104:The Pirate in You

i heard thy got professor fergus to take over the class, bit of a controversial pick that one.

Posted
3 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

There exists on the campus a monument, into which is carved the names of all those brave students who died at the hands of sword-bearing teenagers embarking on transcontinental adventures. They had dreams, darn it!

We need to start a dialogue about sword control.  Too often do we see those nations without sword control plagued with these mass student killings, and we can’t just keep throwing around our thoughts and prayers to these young hopefuls.  Ever heard of a boy named Roy?  He was barely even a teenager when he first got a dragon slayer.  Or the mass killing by Ram Village - literally just regular old peasants murdering recent alumni with nothing but swords!  Let’s face it, it’s just too easy for anyone to get their hands on deadly axe-killing assault weapons, and the line has to be drawn somewhere.

#rememberbrigandboss

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