B_E_P_I_S_M_A_N

You are a very nice person, and all of your insults are well thought-out.

6/10. That's clever, but it's also horrible. Also, the beginning reminds me of this old SNK vs. Capcom comic I heard about on Wikipedia where Akuma kills Kyo, so Iori kills himself to fight Kyo in Heaven, and M. Bison also kills himself to get to Heaven or something like that. I dunno, it's weird. Anyways:

...started searching for fossils in the desert, as he deemed it the most logical thing to do at the time. However, in rushing to the desert, Canas caught a speeding ticket and was arrested by the aforementioned police, who would have arrested him anyways. The cops, however, were able to procure the Hentai in Canas's possession, and started to...

Make seductive gestures with my mouth. There's no better way to getting people out of your bed as fast as possible.

That.. that hurt man. I think I might need a moment. also stop twitching

Do Nothing. In the words of two wise men, "Be excellent to each other."

Bend over

Hm. You profile slightly reminds me of Ninian.

I've played FE7, FE4, FE1, and Awakening. I've also played a few ROM Hacks in my time. Probably. What is your favorite Smash game?

Stop reading that book and pay attention to the bus that's about to run you over, you nerd

6/10. It's bad, but I chuckled a little. --- A man and a horse walk into a bar. The man pulls up a chair for the horse. The horse says "I'm a horse, dumbass, I don't need chairs." The man says, "Oh yeah, well if you're going to be that way, maybe we should seriously reconsider our relationship." The horse replies with "What the actual fuck, dude." Then a meteor crashes into the Earth and everyone dies, so this story is pointless and you should feel bad for reading it. The end. Go home and rethink your life.

Why goblets?

Oh wow, insulting someone who respects common human decency? You disgust me. People like you truly are the scum of the Earth.

...and decided to host a heavy-metal concert at the barbecue, which resulted in...

Whoa, my guy. That's some deep shit right there.

Thunder Harp only wishes to bodaciously rock out with all the other total rad dudes. Hector accepts, and the two begin a totally wizard jam session that blows away the socks and the virginity of all who listen (aka everyone).

Hey, if they so happen to really get around, that's their business, not yours Also, what if we're all just in bed together at once?

excommunicates him. Then executes him. Then steals his money. Then...

making a religion with Hector as Satan. Hector reacts by making a counter-religion, involving...

Chrom, nyeheheheheheheh If you don't care about optimizing child units and just want a mildly satisfying end to Cordelia's Chrom obsession (at least, partially), you could pair with Virion. That one ends well iirc.

I dunno man, I've always wanted to have the Spy in bed with me

totally not radical, and sends everyone to the gallows. Dismayed, Laslow decides to ditch Odin and seek refuge in another country, preferably as a dancer, but possibly as a stripper if need be. He then encounters...

7/10. I appreciate the attempt at anti-humor. You can't get burned if you're always lit