Hi, FETO's current head dev and FEPlanet sysop here. It's rubbish. FETO is absolutely garbage, it's unfinished, and it's playable but annoying. You're absolutely right on that.
FEPlanet isn't looking to great itself, either. Outdated and outmoded web design coupled with spambot and attempted hack attacks, I've been running myself up a wall keeping things from going haywire.
We've gone through some hardships over the past few years though, mainly because our site's old owner left us hanging. Also, it was made sometime between 2004 and 2009, before they just dropped it entirely and left it to fend for itself.
The old owner finally had enough, and did something good; rather than shutting off the site and deleting it, he passed it over to fensti, our sysadmin.
I'm here to make it better though. We have a dedicated community, and we're expecting to rewrite it from the bottom up in the coming year.
The same goes for FEPlanet, the site and the community. It's been dying recently, only staying up mainly because of FETO.
I want to make FEPlanet a better Fire Emblem site than it is now, and mainly, complement Serenes, rather than compete.
But yeah, I recommend, at least trying out FETO, and checking out the amazingly detailed guides and such available for it, made by our community.
I wouldn't recommend going in and expecting the quality of a finished game, however.
Once we get a few more devs, though, we can improve and get more features and fix bugs and such.
The core game mechanics and code will remain closed, but the additions to the engine that become FETO 3 and 4, I plan to have them be open-sourced.
I just need somewhere to put a private Git-style repository that won't cost us too much.
I would host it on our server, except that our hosting provider would be none too happy with us not buying their (relatively expensive) development shared server, which is way more than we need to host a small project like FETO.
edit:
We're taking your concerns into consideration. If you'd like to help out on suggesting design and aesthetics decisions, we're open to ideas! :)
edit 2:
Maybe we should talk about this elsewhere? This topic was about multiplayer, online tactics in Fire Emblem, not Fire Emblem Tactics Online multiplayer. :o