90sTudeDude

And right you are. For starters, this is a very immature doodle I came up with way back in high-school as a “screw you” to the Disney’s direct-to-video sequels fever from the late 90s and early 2000s. My idea was that, if I am to ruin a universally beloved story with a sequel, I might as well do so through mindless popcorn-fun. This story is for a very niche audience, that might expand just a bit more with the current hatred the live action remakes have garnered nowadays. I chose the OG to be a hippo, because they are actually more dangerous than lions in real life. And that gives me a great chance to come up with several action sequences. Hence, Shujaa has no reason to kneel to a lion. That, and the fact that hippos don’t mind coexisting with smaller animals, like birds. Gotcha. Duly noted. I’m extremely rusty after years of dumping everything in one sitting without others’ critique to help guide me.Gotta fix this fast. I couldn’t help but cracking up at this! It’s not a nitpick, you’re just stating facts. This is a mistake that stemmed naturally from me continuing the story sporadically and inconsistently. Thanks for pointing that out. All I can say right now is “whoa”. You wrote very helpful advice in a single post without holding back. And that wasn’t even in-depth. Hope we can share more when you have the time. I’ll focus on fixing this mess along with chapter 2. Thanks!

And here I am, after ten years of nothing. Back in 2012 I spent days and nights writing tiresome walls of text talking about brainstorming, and planning an "epic fantasy" fic that would carry the same spirit as FE. Hoo boy, I wish I was that zealous about writing now. I guess years of trial and error, and coming across a variety different opinions have taught me one thing: make it simple. Something a good friend told me years ago when stuck in my "where do I start?" phase was "First: try writing a modern version of a classic fairytale". It suffices to say that it worked wonders to let my imagination run wild and ditch the idea of feverishly planning drafts and outlines to make something perfect. It saves energy... and sanity. Wit that out of the way, I wanted to make a twist to my friend's suggestion and try to write an "80s/90s action-style sequel" to a story that I love that had disappointing follow-ups. In my case: "The Lion King". I'm tired of postponing things, and want to improve my writing. If I don't do so now, life will pass and this chance will go away. This is just a start, so I kindly ask of all those who read this to not pull your punches with your critique. Consider this story a "writer's punching bag" of sorts: both author and reader get to throw their best punches with improvement in mind, and no fear of getting hit back. Without further ado, here it is: The Lion Dictator - Road to the Final Vengeance Chapter 1 - And his name is Shujaa The rising sun blesses the land once more with its orange blaze of life and power. The giraffes raise their long necks, the rhinoceros look upwards after yawning, the gazelles twitch their ears as they set their position to start their morning stride, and the meerkats pop out of the ground to greet the bright red titan in yet another day of life. And yet, the grass is yellow and dry, most of the ponds have been sucked into the coarse soil, and the preys remain in small clusters to limit the Pride’s hunts. The kingdom is merely a hollow shell of the glorious homeostasis from the years of the great Mufasa, now faded into the clouds of myth. Even amidst the difficulties purported after the fall of their past tyrant, Scar, the subjects of the Pride remain diligent with the roles assigned to them from birth. The brief spell of silence breaks as orange clouds of dust and earth rumble from the distance; a cluster of silhouettes of pale, four legged animals could be barely spotted within the groundy mess. As the dusty screen cleared, the figures could be finally seen: their black-and-white striped skins were riddled with blotches of blood, in desperation of the escape their hairs were split and bent into different angles, and their long faces had their mouths open in both panic and short-breathedness. The Zebras were trying to run away from something fast enough to catch up to their stride, and powerful enough to make them bleed and flee in fear. With the dust now tailing behind the herd, the cause of their pains could be spotted right at the level of their knees: a pack of Wild Dogs were running parallel to the terrified equines, launching vicious bites in an effort to clasp some meat for nourishment. The Zebras were galloping ahead, hopeful that the starving hounds would eventually lose breath and slow down. Those hopes were crushed as soon as the herd noticed a vast pond - the only one found within miles from the Pride Rock - along their tracks. The Zebras were astonished, as they knew who that pool of fresh water belonged to. In a millisecond, the helpless group decided that it is safer to avoid the water, lest they incur the wrath of its master. With no choice other than to take a detour, the herd made a sharp turn to the right to shake off their assailants. The herd swerved away, making a fast angle to the right, barely skating the edge in which the soil meets the water. Nevertheless, not every member could handle the sudden change of direction, as a sole juvenile - unable to redirect himself at the precise time - made a beeline towards the pond and splashed through, unnoticed by his brethren. Seeing the Zebra barely able to stay afloat and panting for his life, the Wild Dogs took this perfect opportunity to charge towards their young prey. “We got a ‘im Mhuni!”, barked one of the smaller framed mutts as a burlier dog sped past him in an instant. This bigger fellow had a very distinctive image: dirt-brown skin riddled in scars, ears chipped, and blazing red eyes reflecting an insatiable thirst for blood. The hulking canine snarled and then let out profound wheezes to savor his lust for fresh meat. Mhuni finished his prospecting by savoring the blood smeared in his muzzle with his tongue. “I get dibs on the tripes!”, growled the leader of the mutts. Mhuni then immediately lunged himself into the pond, and instantly bounced back into the surface to start swimming towards his helpless target. The rest of his pack - without a second thought - joined their leader in his watery raid. The zebra kept swimming and struggling as he was closer to losing his breath. His leg strength was ebbing, and his panting getting heavier and more painful, the juvenile was sure he was done for as the thuggish mutt and his horde were but an inch closer to get a clean bite out of his flesh. The water then moved and made the shape of a turquoise blue mound, sending a series of large waves that pushed Mhuni flipping backwards, while some other less fortunate mutts were swallowed into the turquoise-green watery mass. From the depths of the pond rose a hulking round figure that cast a shadow over the recovering Mhuni who, upon gaining a better composure in the water, gasped as an imposing blob of gray skin pushed him even further away with a second, stronger wave. Mhuni’s astonished visage was reflected on the beast’s pitch black eyes protruding from googly sockets, darting the dog with a forthright stare and slowly frowning their ominous brow, almost as if they could see into the savage brute’s corrupt soul; paralyzed, Mhuni could not react even when the gray giant slowly exhausted their steamy breath from their nostrils right to his face. Two other dogs who survived the giant’s first splash shared their boss’s awe, eventually sending out dissonant ripples from their nervous shivering, letting out a series of whimpers more fitting to a human’s pet pup than that of seasoned killers of the savanna. -“It’s Shujaa!” stuttered one of the lackeys. Shujaa rose further above the surface to give a better glimpse of his appearance: his gray skin was covered with scratches of different dimensions; one of his ears was chipped, and if it weren’t for his head, his body resembled a worn-out stone slab when seen from a distance. Breaking free from his brief spell of surprise, Mhuni proceeded to engage by pulling his followers with his jaw and harshly unleashing them onto Shujaa. “Don’t just float there, you idiots!” barked the wild dog, “Sic him!”. The astonished underlings’ rattling worsened as they swam forward to attempt to clasp onto Shujaa’s flesh, only for one of them to find their way into a reddish pink maw that let out a steamy emission from the giant’s bowels. In a matter of seconds, all that could be taken from that instant was the echo left behind by the unlucky wild dog’s desperate gurgling, for Shujaa had gone underwater once more - and this time with an unwanted visitor inside of his gut. The other mutt - bewildered and unable to process his next action- straddled and looked around the pond in low hopes that his comrade survived. The hapless canine leered downwards to find a dark-red miasma slowly spreading past his reflection in the water. The lackey’s eyes widened, then the miasma released a series of ripples with water bubbling in the middle. In a matter of seconds, a paw plopped outwards completely straightened. The mutt rushed forward, relieved that his partner might have somehow survived after all. The wild dog bit onto the meatier part past his ally’s paw and put all of his strength in his neck and head to pull his fellow thug towards him, just to let out three big spins backwards: his friend was lighter than he thought. The survivor rattled his head around to see where his friend was, lest he pulled hard hard enough to send the dog flying, but it was to no avail. The thug did a quick glance downwards to realize the truth behind his comrade’s instant loss of weight: there was no longer a body connected to that paw! The henchman’s pupils shrunk while releasing a terrified whine at the exact same time, letting go of his deceased partner’s limb in astonishment. The mutt’s shock lingered, for all he could see at the next instant was the cylindrical bottom of his target’s front foot on its way to plunge him underwater. Mhuni used his cohorts’ incompetence to his benefit and swam towards the land, peeking for a small moment at how the red miasma in the spot where the first of his dogs died was getting redder with the following one’s demise. The hippopotamus rose from the depths of his waterbed to give an even more detailed look of his appearance. His skin was a gray slab of stone, riddled with scars of age, wear and tear from countless conflicts; the hooves in the four toes of each of his front feet were stained with fresh blood; his pitch-black eyeballs would reflect Mhuni’s visage, if only they were unhampered by the flames of the hippo’s rage. Mhuni gulped and bowed his head, while slightly raising his eyes to make contact with the angered guardian. The gray giant walked into standing straight, casting a shadow that engulfed the intruder. The hippopotamus then set his entire body to a complete stop after a single burp. He slowly opened his maw to regurgitate something that he had crushed with his tusks; from Mhuni’s point of view, they were orange fragments that looked like a combination between stone and wood. Mhuni, leered at the strange leftovers and leaned his muzzle closer to identify them through smell. The head thug’s eyes widened, and his face started sweating bullets from the realization of his henchmen’s unceremonious and powerless doom. Perhaps at that moment Mhuni discovered true fear was: While Simba and his pride may rule the savanna, this pond's ownership has been long taken by one other king, and his name is Shujaa.

I mentioned in another thread how cool it would be to have an FE x Samurai Shodown game. Not only would it help revive the SamSho series, but it can have awesome action if done right. Basically it would be an SRPG with Fire Emblem's interface and some of Samsho's mechanics added in; since SamSho is a fighting game, it would also be neat to have the option to let the battle sequences be automatic or be able to control your character with fighting game commands. I wrote a whole lot of details in the "if you were a dev for an FE game" thread, if you'd like to see more. It's probably the least likely idea out of all the others mentioned in this thread to come into fruition, but it's fun, nonetheless.

Ok guys, this will seem insane and will probably never happen, but hear me out on this one. Ever since I was notified about a crossover between Fire Emblem and Shin Megami Tensei, I wondered in what way is a game about summoning demons from a laptop related to a military strategy game in a medieval fantasy setting. Not that I am opposed to the idea (after all, I can't judge a game that hasn't been released yet), but what caused Atlus and Nintendo to cross those two franchises over? I don't find anything from one game that would make me want it to mix with the other. Nevertheless, enough nitpicking, If I were a dev and were in charge of creating a Fire Emblem game, I would do a crossover with a franchise that has a little bit more in common, a series that encompasses armed combat and careful, strategic thinking, a continuity of games where acting rashly is severly punished and those who think carefully before fighting end up winning. You guessed it: SNK's Samurai Shodown! I told you it would be insane, but seriously, Fire Emblem x SamSho can be neater than it sounds (if done by the right devs). The game would have FE's map format and gameplay, with units consisting of the key characters from most FE installments and most of the SamSho characters. In order to mix aspects from both series, the characters will contain SamSho's trademark "Rage" gauge, which enables them to perform their own unique "Super Moves" when full. Each character has a unique set of abilities that serve as "special moves" during combat, some being new, while others making a comeback from previous Fire Emblem titles. The "Shura" (Chivalry) and "Rasetsu" (Treachery) modes (Infamously mistransalated as "Slash" and "Bust" in the original SamSho installments) would also be integrated as a feature that can be switched back and forth to change the characters' base stats, the effects of their abilities and their Super Moves. Shura characters fill their rage gauge by taking damage, while the ones in Rasetsu increase it by performing fatal strikes on their opponents. The fatal strikes are both an aesthetic detail as well as a gameplay mechanic straight from Samurai Shodown, which means that this time, the player can see a character (be it a generic soldier or a boss) die in a more detailed way, (cleaved into two, blown up, and spraying blood, just like in SamSho), such kills can be performed with critical hits (which percentage is doubled when the Rage gauge is full), dealing a final, non-critical strike with a full rage gauge, or performing desperation moves; the player would be automatically asked to choose whether to censor this feature or not to before starting a new game. Dealing a fatal strike to certain bosses can change the plot's pace. As for the roster, I believe it would be better to have a balance number of characters from both franchises appear depending on their popularity. The FE the characters appearing from each installment would be: 1. Main Lord 2. Lord's Token girl 3. Most popular non-lord character. If this applied for every installment, it would be difficult to decide which character to select for every mission, so some FE instalments might be left out. It would be easier to include the SamSho characters into the roster, as there are some that aren't very popular and wouldn't be missed if they weren't in the game at all (Gen-An Shiranui, Earthquake, etc.). A feature that would make this more interesting is the opportunity to establish supports between FE and SamSho characters (yes, some supports may be romantic, but since SamSho is involved, the "paired" endings wouldn't be happy fairy tale conclusions, but ranging between bittersweet or tragic, instead). Paired units with maximum support levels can perform dual desperation moves granted that one of them has a full Rage gauge. Supports can also have "reverse" benefits, but it would require one of the pair to get killed (yes, this would encourage players to permanently off some characters, at the expense of the plot's proper pacing and with the likelihood of achieving the true ending would decreasing). Let's say I pair Lyndis from FE7 with, say, Tachibana Ukyo; both characters are known to be badass "one hit, one kill" swordfighters, and one can imagine how much more badass it would be if they had a paired Super Move, but let's say I get Ukyo killed, this would make Lyn turn batshit insane by permanently filling her rage gauge and enabling her to do unlimited supers. In order to not break the game, the character with a dead partner would become unstable, thus making him/her unselectable for a certain number of missions. So in order to get a crazy, kill 'em all Lyn back to normal she will need to find a new resolve by being paired with another unit like, say, Haohmaru. The same applies for supports with chracters from the same franchise (Lyn paired with Eliwood, instead). Other frivolous, yet atmospheric features that can help with the game's aesthetic are details such as characters' weapons, armors, or fabric blowing up after getting maimed by a super move (a nod to SNK's "Art of Fighting"); switching into a bonus "manual mode" in order to play each battle like an actual fighting game, activating the abilities as if they were fighting game commands; and the ability to change the text languages between English, Japanese, and the bonus SNKglish (as a tribute to the good 'ol SNK arcade days; under this "language", every dialogue in the whole game will consist of horribly mistranslated words, badly used grammar, and awfully dated 90's slang). After defeating a boss in each level, the character that did the killing will recieve a lavish "victory portrait" akin to those seen in the Samsho series, with their portraits and quotes changing depending on whether the character is "Shura" or "Rasetsu". Thanks for withstanding this insane wall of text. Something like this can be amazing if done by the right people and might help revive the awesome fighting game series that is Samurai Shodown. This idea is crazy and might never be realized, but maybe some kind soul who happens to work for Intelligent Systems might stumble upon this thread. One can only hope...

While I would like Fire Emblem to have a protagonist that tears apart the typical lord traits, I don't think the Japanese would be very enthusiastic of breaking the mold for their demographics, especially when they are so genre specific. For me, it would be a breath of fresh air if an FE installment starred a lord who, instead of being gallant and optimistic, was grim and introspective (also smart enough to plan his own strategies without the help of a player's self-insert), sickened by the corruption of his/her decaying kingdom and willing to lop anyone's head if it's for the sake of restoring it to its former glory and balance. Kind of like Elric of Melnibone or Kain from "Legacy of Kain". As a matter of fact, it would be neat to have a lord who, in higher levels, becomes proficient with both melee weapons and dark magic (again, like Elric). That is, however, a delusion because the Japanese wouldn't dare to send messages that encourage or harbor moral ambiguity unless their targets are specifically people mature enough to appreciate such concepts (seinen as opposed to shonen audiences, and I don't think an "M" rating would sit well among the ranks of Fire Emblem either). That very reason is the only thing I disliked about awakening, the characters all quirks and little substance.

Oh, okay. Now I get you.

For example?

Well, it took me 10 months to realize that the "story" I was coming up with was nothing short of a stinking puddle of cow diarrhea (in other words, it was no different than the more harshly criticized fics found in these forums). I, however, kept the draft as a reminder of how NOT to write a story (I'll show it to you guys in the given time, you might laugh your asses off of something so hideous). I discovered that making a further change to a storyline that was *intended* to end in a certain way is not only hard, but highly unnecessary. I think the better way to go for me is creating my own original story, concepts, and characters while not deviating from the essence of Fire Emblem. In these 10 months I've been searching for a correct inspiration, something in which I could learn how things actually work in written format (my main issue being how to represent a battle, and an entire war in that matter), especially in the fantasy/sword and sorcery genres; in order to strengthen my creative thinking, I'd have to learn from well known facts. As a result, I decided to start from the very roots of sword and sorcery, the works of Robert E. Howard (long story told short, I wanted to know how to *write* a battle, so I ended up reading Conan stories), and I'm pretty damn sure that in the mere two short stories I've read so far ("Phoenix on the Sword" and "The black Colossus") there are still tons of new things for me yet to learn from -both grammatically and storyline wise-. I agree with you, Agro. It took me almost a year to realize the mistake I was about to commit, I ended up disliking that "continuation" thing as well; I'm now highly against it. So, lets get to the point. I'd like to keep this round table alive so I can learn from the other posters' point of view as well as sharing suggestions (if the mods don't mind, of course); I'll also keep asking questions which answers might come in handy for the elaboration of my story. Anyway, here I go again: 1) Would a more "supernatural" concept work for a plot? Lemme explain, the new plot I came up with has more of the same: noblemen with leadership skills, their trusty knights/mercenaries, mages/witches, pegasi riders, etc. It's the antagonists and other significant characters who will be way beyond "magical" category, having arcane demons among their ranks. The main characters *will* become able to get even by certain means, but they have to start exactly from scratch; otherwise they would be another boring set of Marty Stus and Mary Sues, in my opinion. In other words, is there a way to make them more overpowered if justified or coherently shown? 2) I think it's unnecessary to ask, but would "expies" work for a story? Yes, by "expies" I mean characters exported from other series. And no, I don't intend to put the exact same characters or make a boring carbon copy out of them, but I do intend to make completely different characters with some elements inspired by others. I am quite sure that -if done well- it might work.

Hello guys, 90sTudeDude here. As you can see, I am a new member here, and I have joined these forums mainly because it's one of the biggest FE fan domains out on the web. I've joined mainly because I want to sharpen my writing skills by writing different stuff about different media I like (in this case Fire Emblem). I've studied other forums on other FE oriented websites as well as the fanfics in them. I've also read a lot of suggestions concerning the elaboration of a fic (specially FE ones). As a matter of fact, I already started writing my own fanfic (which I think is OK as of now, won't tell what it's about until later though ), however, now that I have my idea, I thought it would be a good idea to make a round table among the fans and hear 'em out with this one. I would like a series of suggestions concerning what would be the most effective way for an FE fic to be interesting, consistent and also still have some ideas or others tweaked by the author, while NOT deviating from the essence of FE that we, all the fans, love from the series. The following questions will pave the way for that. Please note that this is for the sake of listening to suggestions and tips for a better understanding of the FE community. 1) Would it be acceptable to make a continuation or sequel towards the official installations in the series? I think it wouldn't be such a bad idea, but I'll try to be less biased with this opinion. What would you suggest? Would it work? a) Would "tying the knots/loose ends" work on the story? Yeah I mean, hypothetical events made up on speculations; even if made up, for example, the lack of non-Roy paired endings in FE6. b) would you suggest the addition of original characters to the continuation? I've read in another site that having an OC as a protagonist in an "official FE" fic might not work unless it's an all OC fic, since it's considered "canon-rape". What if said OC blends in with the aforementioned "loose ends"? Would you share something under this statement? 2) Adding "stats" will *never* work in written format (for obvious reasons). But how about made up weapons and weapon rank? What if someone has his own imagined items or weapons and were to represent them with ranks? I don't think that would work. Pointless question, please move along. 3) In any case too many characters are present, would a (skippable) character list be viable? I wouldn't mind, I think it would help the author as a reference to keep track of the characters present in the fic, as well as their purpose in the story. What do you suggest with this one? a) I've also considered to separate said guide in another file as an optional resource, in order to keep more suspense into the story. 4) Are .doc? .pdf? good choices? are links acceptable? In any case the fic is too long, would either Word or Adobe Acrobat be functional to keep longer texts "readable"? Would it be ok to post the link to said format instead of posting the link per se in the forums? 5) I really hate Marty-Stu's or Mary Sue's unless it's an Original Work's (or my) exact intention; they are to be completely avoided, right? I don't have much of a problem with these issues. However I tend to put a lot of over-the-top situations in my stories, thus paving the way for some characters to actually become Marty-Stu's or Mary-Sue's. a) In relation to the above statement: An OC with a vast background, psychological development and balanced benefits and faults (SERIOUS faults, like a troubled past or complex) wouldn't sink that low right? Even if exaggerated or over-the-top? b) As a side note, I also tend to name OC's after after music band names, I hope this is more trivial than I think it is. I... don't think that really matters at all, but hey, you never know. That would be all, for now.... thank you in advance.

Well, thanks for your opinions friends. I'll repost this in Written Works section.

Hello guys, 90sTudeDude here. As you can see, I am a new member here, and I have joined these forums mainly because it's one of the biggest FE fan domains out on the web. I've joined mainly because I want to sharpen my writing skills by writing different stuff about different media I like (in this case Fire Emblem). I've studied other forums on other FE oriented websites as well as the fanfics in them. I've also read a lot of suggestions concerning the elaboration of a fic (specially FE ones). As a matter of fact, I already started writing my own fanfic (which I think is OK as of now, won't tell what it's about until later though), however, now that I have my idea, I thought it would be a good idea to make a round table among the fans and hear 'em out with this one. I would like a series of suggestions concerning what would be the most effective way for an FE fic to be interesting, consistent and also still have some ideas or others tweaked by the author, while NOT deviating from the essence of FE that we, all the fans, love from the series. The following questions will pave the way for that. Please note that this is for the sake of listening to suggestions and tips for a better understanding of the FE community. 1) Would it be acceptable to make a continuation or sequel towards the official installations in the series? I think it wouldn't be such a bad idea, but I'll try to be less biased with this opinion. What would you suggest? Would it work? a) Would "tying the knots/loose ends" work on the story? Yeah I mean, hypothetical events made up on speculations; even if made up, for example, the lack of non-Roy paired endings in FE6. b) would you suggest the addition of original characters to the continuation? I've read in another site that having an OC as a protagonist in an "official FE" fic might not work unless it's an all OC fic, since it's considered "canon-rape". What if said OC blends in with the aforementioned "loose ends"? Would you share something under this statement? 2) Adding "stats" will *never* work in written format (for obvious reasons). But how about made up weapons and weapon rank? What if someone has his own imagined items or weapons and were to represent them with ranks? I don't think that would work, unless it's about a pseudo-homage to the actual game series. Please state your opinions. 3) In any case too many characters are present, would a (skipable) character list be viable? I wouldn't mind, I think it would help the author as a reference to keep track of the characters present in the fic, as well as their purpose in the story. What do you suggest with this one? 4) Are .doc? .pdf? good choices? are links acceptable? In any case the fic is too long, would either Word or Adobe Acrobat be functional to keep longer texts "readable"? Would it be ok to post the link to said format instead of posting the link per se in the forums? That would be all, for now.... thank you in advance.